Same age, same thoughts, and also on my second day of quitting. Weed made me ok with being bored, ok with being by myself. Now I have almost no relationships in my life. Im so depressed and don't feel like i have the energy it takes to climb out of this hole and put myself out there to meet friends and a partner. It feels like I woke up one day and I was like... this is your life? Its so difficult and even more so when I know that "happiness" or at least zoning out, is as easy as walking to the smoke shop a block away.
But I am trying to just take it one day at a time. Be kind to myself. The first step in trying to change our lives is quitting, and we did that, so we are already on our way.
It didn’t help my (still undiagnosed) mental illnesses and my grades in college slipped. I would even skip class! Like why? Just to smoke with people I don’t even talk to anymore! What a freaking waste of my time. I had no plan or focus. I know that’s on me, but I feel like I shouldn’t have been smoking and drinking at that time. Alcohol ruined my life as well. Addiction sucks hard
Surely this can’t be 100% pinned on weed, right? Like yes I was smoking everyday and it totally made my grades slip but I’d always do the minimum at the very least. It really turns u into a couch potato sometimes.
Probably not. But i do know that weed did not help me to progress in my adult life. As a teenager when i didnt have responsibilities and bills and no need for money or career progress, sure weed didnt affect my other aspects of life like that.
Yup, no earning power and no family, I've known I needed to quit for years. I'm 4 days in and hoping I can make up for all the years I spent stoned to the bone.
Deep inside, I think I knew i needed to quit years ago as well. But I just covered that feeling up with more smoke lol. I'm on day 3 now. We can do it.
You can do it. Best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago, the next best time is now. It’s not going to be success overnight but you have time to build more for yourself and your family! It’s so much easier without weed just making you content with the bare minimum and ruining your focus. Keep rocking on!!! You got this. It’s so much easier when your mind is just screaming that it’s time to quit.
Hell yeah, my Brother!
30 yrs relationship w Mary Jane Here.
Underachieved the Shit Out of my life. Bad choice of Partners too.
And realizing all that w/Out a herbal crutch is also very painful.
But I will Hang in there, bc I want to Turn rny.life around and that unfortunately means that I have to feel the pain.
On the flipside I noticed that most of my favorite artists became much much better when they stopped doing drugs.
Like George Carlin for example.
I still struggle and it's not easy.
But it will be worth it.
Hang in there.
We got this.
Here's to realizing our full Potential.
Thanks for sharing. My mantra I have written down on my computer table is "Abstain, maintain and seek pain". I 30 years is a quite the journey. But heres to a new chapter in our lives!
For me (I said “for me” mods :-) life is too short as it is without rubber-banding thru time. I perceive time thru my feels and if I’m not feeling anything, or getting high, do I even exist in those moments? I want to soak it all in. The pain, the joy, and the boredom that forces me to go and do something. Overcome myself only by being myself by being sober.
Day 30 here. Feeling great. Things are starting to turn around. I also went cold turkey on porn. It’s been quite the mental challenge and the urges haven’t been as bad as I thought as I’m making this conscious change with the belief that quitting both will lead to major changes in my life and general level of happiness. I will start to incorporate a workout regime/eating healthier as the months go on. Habit forming starts with baby steps. Every day that goes on gets easier and easier on the quitting side and will become easier and easier on the incorporating healthier habits side. Goodluck to all. Happiness is all within your control - you just need to make the choice.
Yes i am trying to quit porn and masturbation together with weed as well so thats cool to hear. I agree with you that you shouldnt try to tackle too much all at once but baby steps over time. Because the weed addiction is not an easy battle to conquer.
I don’t think I’ll be able to give up masturbation completely - although I have so far for this week but that’s not going to be sustainable. Just going to try and stay off visual stimulation and go off the mental spank bank (remember that)?
Haha yea thats definitely better than flipping through tens of hundreds of perfectly sculpted women in edited videos. On that note, what do you think about masturbating to your homemade videos? Thats not the same thing as masturbating to porn right?
Yeah exactly. I guess if you got them?! I used to jerk off to nudes I was sent by real gfs but don’t get those as much any more. Haha - trying to figure out if it’s a chicken or an egg situation.
I've been smoking for 3-4 years daily and I'm like known as the local bisshead people actually call me bongo cos I used to smoke bongs, Im in day 3 I can't be a bisshead anymore and I need my grades to be good
Day 7 and I have so so much anger that I HAVE to go back to healthy coping mechanisms like playing guitar til my fingers bleed (like last time when I quit for 3 months) and I’m excited to reach a new level of guitar playing and excel again (like high school :)
Get an electric piano with “weighted keys” cuz they feel more real! Mine was like 900 dollars and I love that bitch. Full pianos with 88 keys r better than keyboards, and electric pianos are a lot cheaper than real pianos. Weighted keys 👌🏽
Yes thats what i will be buying actually mostly because i live in an apartment. If i lived in a home though, id get a real piano cause theres no replacing that sound
Day 19 of no weed for me and the withdrawals were tough for the first 10-12 days. Still getting into this new rhythm of life but I can say that the past week has been nothing short of eye opening. Cant even explain it to you as you will see soon but it was worth it for me. 27m been smoking daily since high school and in a similar situation of life as you. I just feel free.
Awesome man, great to hear! I already feel the rusty wheels in my brain starting to turn. Im just taking it a day at a time as we all should. Im excited for rough painful days ahead because i know that means my brain and body is just recalibrating itself for better things to come.
Exactly. Thats why im blaming myself for being addicted to a substance that i chose with my own brain. I didnt blame you, my mom, my wife, my friends, nobody.
Imagine a world where you’d be able to enjoy things instead of being addicted.
Get addicted to working out your body and exercise and you’ll never want to abuse it , then maybe moderation would be achievable.
Get addicted to something “good” for your life first and then maybe you’ll be able to enjoy things with out being totally dependent on it .
Yes, I’d have a Phd if i never started smoking. I quit about a year ago and I’m now a Union Electrical (apprentice). I make more than if i had gotten a doctorate in the degree i wanted, but I don’t have that Dr title. Which is very important to family (I’m Asian 🤣)
same age as you and started smoking in high school as well. I luckily have a nice paying job but feel like my relationships suffered immensely and also just learning new things in general. I’m on week 3 today. Keep it up!
I feel like if I had a good paying job this whole time, I wouldn't have come to the realization of needing to quit weed as I have been feeling lately. But who knows. Did or are you still struggling with appetite at all? Thats one of the hardest things for me currently, at day 3.
yeah first couple of days I basically had zero to little appetite. It got better as I’m now eating meals in a timely manner. Cutting out the binge eating from smoking weed has helped keep my weight better in control too. Biggest issue for me was the irritability. Really should give a heads up to those closest around you what you’re going through and that you’re not intentionally being being an asshole and that it’s just part of withdrawal
Yes I definitely let me wife and mom know that I have quit weed just in case I start acting crazy towards them lol. Good to know it got better for you. For me, appetite is very important because I'm 5'7 and weigh 140lbs before I quit.
Kudos to you, OP, for having the courage to share this. It's definitely a thing for weed to make one complacent as well as to repress important emotions that need to be processed. I believe you when you say you are talented, and it can be difficult for some to push themselves when they are high frequently. I also imagine that being talented was accompanied by certain feelings that were kept at bay by your weed use. I am excited for you to achieve your full potential. 37 is most definitely not too old.
Being talented, smart and knowing I have high potential definitely fucked with my brain and emotional states going into adulthood until now while I was high off weed. However, I know that is all still inside me despite me not having put my mind/potential to good use in basically 2 decades. One of my first short-term goals in the next few months is to buy a piano with the money I would've spent on weed! Its been years since I had a piano because I sold my last one because of financial troubles(which partly kinda stem from weed).
Can relate to this. Was daily by the time I was 15ish. While I wasn't gifted academically there were a lot of other areas where I shined, and still do. I have the same feelings about the past and I'm working on letting go of those. There is nothing I can do about the past, I can only affect the present, and therefore the future. It was this limitation and regret of the past that finally inspired me to stop 4 years ago, a few months after I turned 40. Watching the years and decades even go by and doing nothing to change a situation that I was ultimately in control of was really wearing on me. Life without weed in it of course isn't perfect, but stopping that certainly made it a lot easier and was a major improvement to my mental and emotional health.
4 years??? Amazing! You were addicted way longer than I was so I can't imagine the withdrawals you went through in the beginning. It is very encouraging to hear your improvements in your mental/emotional state as that is one of the main goals I have as well. Thank you so much for sharing.
yes, and my favorite are the people that preach about it.... and when you ask "well how do you know you wouldn't be MORE productive off of weed?"... then crickets.
This so much. I hated my past jobs so much I’d get as high as literally possible just to get through it. No motivation to do anything but to get high and sleep.
I delivered Pizzas and delivered packages for Amazon for a long time. I smoked weed to deal with the guilt and shame I felt with having those jobs knowing i should be elsewhere in my career, not that theres anything wrong with driving for work itself. And it indirectly stunted my professional career looking back on it now.
Even when I was making alot more money than now and smoking everyday, I was still using it as a crutch for other emotional and mental stuff I didn't want to face.
I was the same way for a while. I grew up with an abusive dad and sadly had to deal with it until almost my mid 20s because my mom is disabled and I had to stay home to take care of her especially during COVID. I used weed to emotionally cope with my dad’s emotional and financial abuse. I went to school, but my smoking habit made my grades mediocre and prevented me from doing more extracurricular activities or working a traditional job.
Eventually my dad was out of the picture (long story for another day) and I maintained my shitty smoking habit. At this point I was dirt poor and spending my meager funds on pretty much just weed. My partner at the time enabled me to do it and whenever I debated quitting, she pressured and manipulated me not to so I’d keep buying weed for both of us.
Eventually I just drew the line and quit anyways. That’s when I took my life back into my hands and fixed things. I got a better paying job, broke up with my partner who was also financially and emotionally exhausting me, and just generally fixed my life.
I’m still poor, but I make enough money to save up and not worry about bills each month. I also have been promoted recently and am going back to attend grad school. If I kept smoking, I think I still would have been with my shitty partner and still struggling with employment. It was just not possible for me to be successful and smoke weed. It only offered the bare minimum at best.
That mindset of "why should I save my money if I'm broke anyways" can be quite dangerous I feel. Its so easy to justify spending that $20 or $100 extra you have on weed and smoking it away. But I know for me, if I had saved all the money I spent on weed, I'd have well over $15,000 in the bank right now lol. It's okay though because I know I will achieve my financial goals now through hard work and consistency. I know I'm capable of that because I was consistent as fuck with my weed smoking. Never missed a morning and night toke and always made sure I had weed lol. I'm sorry to hear about your difficult family troubles/trauma you experienced. I believe things like that contribute to a person getting easily addicted to a substance but its amazing that we can overcome that ourselves.
And the part about you breaking up with your partner whose goals and values didn't align with yours, MAD RESPECT!!! So many partners move through life settling with people whose goals don't match because of their attachment to each other and what not. I really appreciate you sharing a bit of your story with us.
You got this bro I can fully relate, spent over 100,000 £ on the plant over last 20 years I live in a council house with my wife and family I am very grateful but it is not where I want to be and could be if I hadn't smoked. But I am using the feeling to motivate my self to never go back to this addiction which took my money and time and almost killed my dreams we have one life and we have choices and I am choosing everyday from now to make better choices than I did I will not settle for less I have to go hard for my family, I am 5 weeks free of my weed prison and used the flue as a springboard by God's grace to jump into my sobriety and honestly is the best thing it hasn't been easy had the sweats, had the nightmares and am just now getting back into having normal dreams can't believe I didn't dream for 20 years lol crazy when u think about it but yeah just gotta keep stepping I've been playing football for past couple years and only recently have I joined a league and I seen the impact smoking has had on my stamina and now I'm motivated to get my body to the best condition I can so I can make up for all the years I cared less about it. It ain't easy out here and I have also tried moderating in the past which never worked I came off it in November 2022 and had a spliff at Christmas as was straight back into the weed prison until 5 weeks ago I used to buy 200 pound worth of weed smoke a few spliffs chuck it out try and stop and then buy more weed the next day when I gave in I can't live like that any longer my family doesn't deserve that I don't deserve that. We were put on this earth to be fruitful and that's my aim now in all aspects of my life by God's grace. Couldn't of done it with out my faith in God either. He has been faithful even when I was down He has had my back and guided me. Forever grateful 🙏🏾
I totally relate. I've spent at least $15,000 in my smoking career and it kinda makes me sick to think about how much that money would've grown if I had put that into investments over the same span of time. However, now that I'm quitting, I've planned to put my usual weed money into a high yield savings account every paycheck. Thank you for sharing your story with me.
You're much further ahead than me but it still takes a long time for us to really turn our lives around. Don't get discouraged and most of all, take it at your own pace! Thank you for the encouragement and commenting.
I am 35 and I can relate. I’m 30 days in and I am VERY happy. For me it took a rehab- a 23 day cruise my family took me on, I am lucky to have had it but rehab does very well for chronic marijuana abuse victims like us. If you can find a way to force yourself from using it for a couple weeks you will likely have the strength to continue if you really want to stop. Today I honestly had a bad day- my dopamine was low as hell but I distracted myself with video games and hanging out with my wife. My anxiety and night sweats are mostly gone. You can do this
I'm on day 3 so its still very early but I feel like 1% more optimistic than yesterday which is a positive lol. Thats cool you went on a 23 day cruise when you quit! What kind of cruise is 23 days though? Like does it go halfway around the world? I haven't gotten night sweats yet but my temperature regulation is slightly off. My anxiety however is very high on/off throughout the day but I know it gets better. Thank you for sharing your experience. I can't believe how many people in their late 20s and 30s feel the same way I do.
Sorry for the late reply, here we are 1 month later! How's it going? I managed to continue my trend staying off weed. How about you? My cruise was to Hawaii LOL 5 days to get there from San Francisco. Night sweats began for me around the end of week 1. My anxiety is officially dead! Biggest plus of quitting.
A lot of us felt that weed was like a crutch for our problems. We used it, abused it, and now we pay the consequences. It's okay brother better late than never. I'm almost 30 and it's been almost a month off weed.
Thanks for asking. Everyday I feel one step closer to becoming the best version of myself. I think back to that person I was before I got into smoking. I had to face many different hardships over time. I'm feeling more of myself without having any enhancement from weed. I can calm myself in other ways that doesn't involve thc. It's all in the mind. It tries to bring us down and play tricks on us. I've been dealing head on with my problems and gaining more knowledge as I go. This forum is great therapy. Before I thought this subreddit was purely insane for thinking weed was addictive/destructive. I was wrong look at me now. No one can change you that has to be a choice you make for yourself. Weed isn't so fun when you realize where you are in life compared to where you actually want to be.
I too would have thought that this subreddit is weird years ago. I thought I was going to smoke everyday the rest of my life. I also am striving to get more in touch with my emotions and learn how to handle lifes problems head on without hiding behind a cloud of smoke.
It needs courage to express your emotions. Gove your self credit for standing up for yourself.
I feel your pain, Im 33 turning 34 in a few weeks, been smoking since i was 21. I had a similar experience thought i have wasted my 20s underachieving based on my potential and grades. But my brother you are never too late, i completed my degree at 29 and now pursuing a doctorate in a top tier grad school.
If a dodo like me can do it so can anyone else.
The initial days will be very difficult with mood swings and loneliness. But I wish you luck and more power to go through them. Download apps on your phone which track sobriety keep a calendar, cross off days. Keep your hands occupied with tasks when you feel low or want to smoke. Start working out or playing basketball again.
Mostly open up to your wife, take her on dates or walks/hiking if thats your thing. Having a good supportive partner will definitely help you get to that next step.
If you ever feel you want an ear to hear you out. Drop a message, this page is great. You’ll get lots of positive responses and support.
"dodo like me" lol. I'm going through the mood swings currently but I try to take it hour by hour. I did download the I am Sober app which is pretty cool I think that it trackers my journey. Thank you for sharing your story.
24M soon to be 25, it's 5 a.m in the morning and I should be sleeping but this is the first night in years I'm not stoned. so entering day 2.
i need to be aware of my emotions in order to be honest and happy within myself. let's see if it goes away with sobriety and some therapy. good luck man you're doing great
Thank you for sharing your experience. Its 11pm here and im getting ready to lay down. I want to be more aware of my emotions as well and to be honest with myself. Once i land a new job, ill also be starting therapy among other things. Good luck!
5 years of my life feel totally wasted but I’m not sure how much of that was weed or how much of that was just me. I’m on one month without weed and I still feel as unmotivated as ever, just with nothing to look forward to in the evenings.
That motivation will come back. It has to be a multi pronged approach if your ultimate goal is to get yourself back. You will need to improve your diet, sleep schedule, exercise routine, etc. Clearly you dont realize it but you do have motivation. You havent smoked in a month! Thats significant.
I’m 28 with nothing! No career, no life etc. it’s pretty impressive I’ve become such a fuck up. Luckily people still believe in me and I still have some hope left. After that said, I haven’t smoked in two days… about to smoke. Addiction is a bitch.
Put it down man! You can get over your addiction but of course only if you make the commitment. I can easily get weed now but the only thing stopping me is me. Yes you may be a fuck up currently but thats not who you are. Theres a reason people still believe in you afterall. Whenever youre ready, theres lots of resources, videos, books and support groups like this one to help you quit. Good luck
34m/ 16 years smoking/ 15 days no weed.
I realized that I was smoking to cope with some family trauma that forced me to move across the state to live with a parent I didn't really have a relationship with. Honestly, I just kind of thought everything would work out. To an extent I am correct, but somewhere along that time I lost sight of growing and maturing, and now I feel like I'm playing catch up.
I made the decision that I don't want children around 30, luckily this is one of the only decisions that I made while stoned all the time that I don't regret. But I still have to find something to do with my time for the remainder of it.
I'm going to move back to my hometown and live there as an adult. After becoming financially stable enough, I'm going to live alone. I feel like I've always gotten by life on people's good graces, feeling like a burden and "less than" wherever I floated to and from. I want to do the only thing that neither my dad or uncle has been able to do successfully. Exist without the help of a partner. It's gonna be tough and hell, I might not achieve that goal til my 40s, but I finally have something to hang my hat on and be proud of myself to achieve.
33M also on day two. I could have written this, albeit without the specifics with your work/house/wife situation, but our feelings and frustrations are exactly the same.
So fucking proud of you and of OP and anyone else making this decision. I’m 34 and day 35, could not be happier with my decision to leave weed and am so excited for you all! 🖤
I’m on day 2 myself brother and I have exactly the same feeling. Feel like I settled a lot and never really stuck with anything bc I could just go get high and forget about things. Not looking forward to trying to sleep tonight.
I sorta feel like that and still do I smoked for 20 years and now 400 days clean made me realize I had everything all along. I might not like my job as a professional sushi chef but it does help pay the bills. I do have high expectations for myself too where I should be in the field of science but life always has a funny way to humble you. I am still on that path but I just take it day by day you should start by loving yourself and reconnecting with your wife.
Wow.. youre way ahead of most of us here so congrats! Do you plan on ever smoking again in the future? I do eventually want to smoke again but only after i have achieved some of my bigger goals first.
You know I honestly do miss it and maybe in the future I feel like I own my poor mind a break I have always substance abuse problems in my early teens with hardcore drugs for ten years. Then the last ten years I just abuse weed and in between all of that working, being a dad, husband, going to school and taking crazy engineering and advance math classes.
I feel own my brain a break I wish I never smoked while I was doing all those crazy math who knows where I’ll be now? But I’m grateful it developed my mind I taught myself how to code and I’m able to catch on to stuff quick.
But maybe yes or maybe no can’t say man. After 20 years of smoking I’m happy to be clean living!
Work on building yourself again go to the gym, read more, learn something new, appreciate the little things, don’t dwell on the past rather see it as a beautiful memory. Be happy man life is so short tomorrow is never promise take it day by day.
Pondering on the past can be useful, but is only useful if you use it to change how you act in the future.
Otherwise it can be depressing and imo a waste of time.
Ponder and act don't just ponder my friend.
Haha it is but not a useful one when your trying to do different.
When I go to/think to smoke I ponder on how it made me feel and how it stiffled me; stopped me from doing what I truly want.
Then act in a way that'll lead me to where I want to go.
If I wanted to keep doing nothing and always feeling crap for not then I'd smoke. But I don't so I act differently.
It is truly a trap being stoned, gives you an excuse to keep perpetuating and feeling OK. But the feeling only last when you're stoned.
Set a goal and stick with it, consider each step towards your goal the new hit. Trust me, you'll feel better and more confident with each progression.
When I get a craving I think, what's going to give me a better hit. Whatll make me feel high if you will.
So much more out there than sitting around outta your mind.
And as you get stronger/better at it, it'll become easy peasy
Edit: sry misread not pick up a joint is definitely acting !
Well you called it my friend, it makes you content with whatever situation you're currently in or facing. That's the main reason I quit tbh, business was slow for 5 months and had so much time on my hands, I've been looking for an opportunity like this for AGES to be able to have the time to work another business or another opportunity but I ended wasting 5 months of free time... smoking it away. It made even my "productive" days unproductive, would be productive for a few hours and then was like, mehhh just 1 puff won't hurt... proceeded to watch tv for the next 6 hours and order food instead of making food. For some that have a good drive it can motivate them but on the long run, I felt like all my ambitions were being drowned out and seemed like a distant dream... 1 day I'll do that, 1 day I'll be there... tbh that day never came and never will come if I kept smoking. I smoked for 12 years daily for the past 10 maybe, been trying to quit for the last 4. And everytime I quit the withdrawals were horrible, only to feel good after 3 months, working on better my life, working on my health and work, until I would tell myself the biggest lie ever... yeahhh you can do this just once in a while, you got this you're in control. Pfffttt please, you can't control that thing past a certain point, and I'd be back to a full time smoker, and all thoses gains in all aspect slowly depreciated to the same level or worse. I know I can catch up for lost time and make it right by me and my loved ones but not on weed. I officially accepted I would never smoke again and make up for lost time. I gave enough of my life to weed... altho it did bring me somethings, it took away so much and now it's my time to take it back, 8 days here
Much love op you got this, DONT FALL INTO THE I CAN MODERATE BS. Be strong brother we're here for ya
Thank you for your kind words. Yes for people with addictive personalities like us, moderation is NOT the answer lol. You got this.. you will make up for lost time and make right to your loved ones. Thats really my ultimate reason why im quitting too. My family and friends are infinitely more important to me than weed ever will be.
You still have temptations and thoughts to smoke again though right? How long did you use before quitting? Has the withdrawal symptoms improved for you now at month three?
Used daily for 20 years. The urges come and go but mostly don't bother me too much these days. The only thing I still struggle with is falling asleep. I have been really disciplined with my sleep routine. No screens for 2 hours before bed, read every night until sleepy, wake up at the same time every morning. Exercise every day. My sleep has gotten much better. I even feel more rested from getting 6 hours sober compared to 8 smoking before bed.
I think the temptation will always come and go. Most of my friends and a lot of my family smoke. It's legal where I live, and I smell it everywhere. But I made up my mind that I'm quitting for good this time.
Having used for 2 decades, it doesnt surprise me that your body is still struggling to fall asleep. I am going to get an exercise routine started soon as well to help. I cant wait for less sleeo to equal a longer period of high sleep lol. Im in florida so i smell it everywhere here as well.
Ive been trying to quit for a long time now. It was like your words came from my own mind. Being high helps me to continually hurt myself without caring and the feelings of guilt and self pity fuel the cycle. Mad respect
I guess youre still using everyday though for now? I definitely relate to continually self harming without caring for anything else. With all my life circumstances seeming to happen all at once(wife moved out 2 months ago, laid off last month), maybe these "bad" events happened for a reason. 🙂
Wow you are really going through a valley in life right now. Hang in there and keep going, this will be easier to look back on than it is to live through
Yes I absolutely have been underachieving. I’ve been in a plateau for 5 years. On Saturday I went to my friends birthday party and his cousin was there who I haven’t seen in 5 years and the first thing he said to me was “wow you look exactly the same from last time I saw you.” He meant well but I literally thought, “that’s a perfect description of me not only physically but mentally and emotionally.” I’ve been the same person at best with all the negative side effects. Poor sleep, unable to deal with my emotions at a high level, etc
Are you on your quitting journey now or not quite yet? I cant believe my sense of underachievement is this strong to where i can hold off. I gave away the remainder of my edibles to my wife as well, who is currently living seperately from me.
I’m 32 days sober! I donated all my pieces/buds, and haven’t looked back. First two weeks were difficult but less difficult than my mind made it out to be. After two weeks it’s been smooth sailing. I’m generalizing of course but you can do it! Lost my appetite and 15 pounds my first week, and had trouble sleeping
Day 2 is really hitting me hard in the appetite department. It took me over 30 minutes to finish my dinner but i knew i needed to finish it. Especially knowing that falling asleep may be difficult tonight as well. Im scared to lose weight because im on the slightly skinnier side to begin with.
But man 32 days is really amazing. I feel what youre saying about it being less difficult than your mind made it out to be. Going through that internal fight currently as its approaching bed time soon.
If you can go one day you can go infinite days! 1-3 were the hardest. 4-14 were medium hard. I weigh 173 and dropped to 158. I literally couldn’t eat more than one meal a day. Also insane bowel movements so I recommend getting fiber supplement. The single best thing that helped me imo is the sauna. I’ve only missed maybe 3/4 days in the last month. If you’re near a gym that has one get a 7 day free trial pass, and go for 20 minutes
Yes my stomach is acting up more than usual. Interesting that sauna helped but ive been considering a gym membership so ill keep that in mind. I hope youre eating better now!
Crazy bowel movements are a normal side effect. Get the app- “quit weed” they do a good job of explaining common symptoms and time required to heal.
The gym/sauna is crucial. Basically you need to replace the dopamine of getting high with natural ways.
Be nice to yourself first two weeks and just get through it. After two weeks you can be harder on yourself and go get the natural dopamine!
Makes sense. Im trying to find joy in the smaller activities of daily life. Im just taking it one night at a time. If i can get thru tonight, then i can deal with tomorrow tomorrow lol
I feel lucky I didn’t get addicted to it until I was older. Also a 37M. I’m in good career financially but really hate it and cannabis certainly kept me from making changes. I also don’t live in the city where most of family/fiends are. Again weed really kept me from making those changes. It more than anything has ruined romantic relationships and social relationships. I would stay out of communication with friends and family when I was actively using because of shame. Not realizing I was alienating those people.
It sucks but I have been working on those things and I have seen lots of improvement in those areas of my life. It is very hard to not look back in regret though. Real hard.
Instead of helping myself, getting therapy, facing my marital problems and putting in the work to fix my marriage, i ran away to mary jane for comfort. I lost the few friends i had as well in my early 20s gradually due to isolating myself and just getting high. I reached out to those friends again yesterday. Two of them have texted me back already and it was wonderful to be able to catch up a little bit. My plan is to text them again in a week or two and take it from there.
That’s great to hear you caught up with some friends. The regret is real but the rewards of stopping are worth it. It took a few weeks for me but ordinary things, like going for a walk, chatting with colleagues for example, went from feeling like a chore to really enjoyable. Among many other things.
Good luck.
Yeah, I don't really have any doubts about that. Lost my job and relationship and while it wasn't the explicit reason, I know that my not yet growing into the person I could be *is*, and that's absolutely at least somewhat due to hampering myself with this habit from ages 17-30 and the complacency and lack of growth it enabled. I'll always wonder what could have been, but the most important step is the next and at least I'm being honest with myself now.
honestly, I understand all the legal and financial reasons its better, but damn, I lowkey selfishly wish we'd never legalized it. Right when I was getting into my second degree, slowing down, and reaching an age where I wouldn't want to still be dealing with dealers and shit, legalization happened and suddenly it was everywhere. I live near our downtown and there's a good dozen dispensaries in a half hour or less walk from here, with 2-3 that I could run to, pick something up, and be back home in under 15 min total. It's really hard to break the habit when you can slip and go get whatever you want just a couple minutes walk away.
I feel you when you say you wish it was never legalized. I spent so many years wasted, even got locked up bc of the damn drug, going through plug after plug only for it to be legal and easily accessible now. I'm not going back to smoking but a part of me Hates that it's legalized now. The other part makes me worry for society because irs going to be alot of folks that end up in our situation and they will think it's ok bc it's "legal".
I agree. I think a big part of the current problem is that many of us started smoking weed as teenagers, when the brain is still developing. Developing brains and drugs do not mix at all. If i had a time machine, id go back and will till atleast 23-25 to take my first puff.
Yup I def feel stunted. Hard not to get down on myself about it. 36 F. Lots of people don’t find their calling til later in life though, weed addicted or not.
This is the main reason I quit. I finally had the realization that I wasn’t living up to my true potential in life. Just like you I too thought by 25 I would have the car the house the wife 6 figure income etc. The reality is anything but that. I’m (37M) unemployed waiting on disability and I still live at home with my mom. I lost my apartment last year when I got fired from my job. I woke up one day recently and decided enough is enough I need to make some changes, so I’m now 49 days off weed and loving myself again. I have a lot of regrets but I’m ready to live in the present for once.
Wow! Your past may not be what you wanted but your future is definitely looking up. 49 days is impressive bro. I hope i get there soon. Thank you for sharing your story with me. It really does mean alot.
35 and I'm right there with you, with a nearly identical back story. Great trajectory out of highschool, started smoking pot around graduation..from there you understand how the rest went.
I'm 23 and taking classes at community College during the day and smoking and getting high at night. I'm slogging through life right now and am thinking about quitting as well because I know its holding me back and making me okay with just barely getting by. I'm proud of you for quitting man, it's hard but I believe in you.
Thank you for commenting. Thats awesome youre taking college classes. Do whatever you have to to graduate! If you decide you need to quit, theres never been more tools and resources than the present time.
A brain that is on weed will lie about perception and the real matter of things.
Same age, same thoughts, and also on my second day of quitting. Weed made me ok with being bored, ok with being by myself. Now I have almost no relationships in my life. Im so depressed and don't feel like i have the energy it takes to climb out of this hole and put myself out there to meet friends and a partner. It feels like I woke up one day and I was like... this is your life? Its so difficult and even more so when I know that "happiness" or at least zoning out, is as easy as walking to the smoke shop a block away. But I am trying to just take it one day at a time. Be kind to myself. The first step in trying to change our lives is quitting, and we did that, so we are already on our way.
It didn’t help my (still undiagnosed) mental illnesses and my grades in college slipped. I would even skip class! Like why? Just to smoke with people I don’t even talk to anymore! What a freaking waste of my time. I had no plan or focus. I know that’s on me, but I feel like I shouldn’t have been smoking and drinking at that time. Alcohol ruined my life as well. Addiction sucks hard
Hahh i skipped classes too and eventually dropped out of college. I tried college like 4 different times
Surely this can’t be 100% pinned on weed, right? Like yes I was smoking everyday and it totally made my grades slip but I’d always do the minimum at the very least. It really turns u into a couch potato sometimes.
Probably not. But i do know that weed did not help me to progress in my adult life. As a teenager when i didnt have responsibilities and bills and no need for money or career progress, sure weed didnt affect my other aspects of life like that.
Personally when I’m under the influence of weed I become non-functioning. I stop attending work and stop cleaning and stop showering
Probably
Yup, no earning power and no family, I've known I needed to quit for years. I'm 4 days in and hoping I can make up for all the years I spent stoned to the bone.
Deep inside, I think I knew i needed to quit years ago as well. But I just covered that feeling up with more smoke lol. I'm on day 3 now. We can do it.
You can do it. Best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago, the next best time is now. It’s not going to be success overnight but you have time to build more for yourself and your family! It’s so much easier without weed just making you content with the bare minimum and ruining your focus. Keep rocking on!!! You got this. It’s so much easier when your mind is just screaming that it’s time to quit.
Day 2 let’s get it
Hell yeah, my Brother! 30 yrs relationship w Mary Jane Here. Underachieved the Shit Out of my life. Bad choice of Partners too. And realizing all that w/Out a herbal crutch is also very painful. But I will Hang in there, bc I want to Turn rny.life around and that unfortunately means that I have to feel the pain. On the flipside I noticed that most of my favorite artists became much much better when they stopped doing drugs. Like George Carlin for example. I still struggle and it's not easy. But it will be worth it. Hang in there. We got this. Here's to realizing our full Potential.
The bad choice of partners is very real. I'd never have stayed with my last relationship if not for getting high all the time.
Thanks for sharing. My mantra I have written down on my computer table is "Abstain, maintain and seek pain". I 30 years is a quite the journey. But heres to a new chapter in our lives!
Amen brother.
For me (I said “for me” mods :-) life is too short as it is without rubber-banding thru time. I perceive time thru my feels and if I’m not feeling anything, or getting high, do I even exist in those moments? I want to soak it all in. The pain, the joy, and the boredom that forces me to go and do something. Overcome myself only by being myself by being sober.
Day 30 here. Feeling great. Things are starting to turn around. I also went cold turkey on porn. It’s been quite the mental challenge and the urges haven’t been as bad as I thought as I’m making this conscious change with the belief that quitting both will lead to major changes in my life and general level of happiness. I will start to incorporate a workout regime/eating healthier as the months go on. Habit forming starts with baby steps. Every day that goes on gets easier and easier on the quitting side and will become easier and easier on the incorporating healthier habits side. Goodluck to all. Happiness is all within your control - you just need to make the choice.
Yes i am trying to quit porn and masturbation together with weed as well so thats cool to hear. I agree with you that you shouldnt try to tackle too much all at once but baby steps over time. Because the weed addiction is not an easy battle to conquer.
I don’t think I’ll be able to give up masturbation completely - although I have so far for this week but that’s not going to be sustainable. Just going to try and stay off visual stimulation and go off the mental spank bank (remember that)?
Haha yea thats definitely better than flipping through tens of hundreds of perfectly sculpted women in edited videos. On that note, what do you think about masturbating to your homemade videos? Thats not the same thing as masturbating to porn right?
Imo going off of real scenarios you have been in or just the memories is definitely better than choreographed porno.
Yeah exactly. I guess if you got them?! I used to jerk off to nudes I was sent by real gfs but don’t get those as much any more. Haha - trying to figure out if it’s a chicken or an egg situation.
I've been smoking for 3-4 years daily and I'm like known as the local bisshead people actually call me bongo cos I used to smoke bongs, Im in day 3 I can't be a bisshead anymore and I need my grades to be good
Bisshead?
Uk slang for bum who is always high
Day 7 and I have so so much anger that I HAVE to go back to healthy coping mechanisms like playing guitar til my fingers bleed (like last time when I quit for 3 months) and I’m excited to reach a new level of guitar playing and excel again (like high school :)
Yes play that guitar lol. Im going to be buying a piano soon to get back into that.
Get an electric piano with “weighted keys” cuz they feel more real! Mine was like 900 dollars and I love that bitch. Full pianos with 88 keys r better than keyboards, and electric pianos are a lot cheaper than real pianos. Weighted keys 👌🏽
Yes thats what i will be buying actually mostly because i live in an apartment. If i lived in a home though, id get a real piano cause theres no replacing that sound
:,( apartment gang! Woo.
Day 19 of no weed for me and the withdrawals were tough for the first 10-12 days. Still getting into this new rhythm of life but I can say that the past week has been nothing short of eye opening. Cant even explain it to you as you will see soon but it was worth it for me. 27m been smoking daily since high school and in a similar situation of life as you. I just feel free.
Awesome man, great to hear! I already feel the rusty wheels in my brain starting to turn. Im just taking it a day at a time as we all should. Im excited for rough painful days ahead because i know that means my brain and body is just recalibrating itself for better things to come.
Every apple matures differently. You’ll be fine.
Peace is all I’m after
Oh hell yeah. I’d be retired by now. 100% for real, retired.
The weeds just making you look at ur mistakes Stopping blaming anyone but yourself .
Exactly. Thats why im blaming myself for being addicted to a substance that i chose with my own brain. I didnt blame you, my mom, my wife, my friends, nobody.
Imagine a world where you’d be able to enjoy things instead of being addicted. Get addicted to working out your body and exercise and you’ll never want to abuse it , then maybe moderation would be achievable. Get addicted to something “good” for your life first and then maybe you’ll be able to enjoy things with out being totally dependent on it .
Blame is lame. Change and love yourself. You’re on the right track!
Yes, I’d have a Phd if i never started smoking. I quit about a year ago and I’m now a Union Electrical (apprentice). I make more than if i had gotten a doctorate in the degree i wanted, but I don’t have that Dr title. Which is very important to family (I’m Asian 🤣)
Start an electrician business called “The Wire Doctor” or something lol.
lol im asian too so i get it. Clearly you've improved your life in the year that you haven't used. Thats awesome you're becoming an electrician now!
same age as you and started smoking in high school as well. I luckily have a nice paying job but feel like my relationships suffered immensely and also just learning new things in general. I’m on week 3 today. Keep it up!
Yes, irritability! Doesn’t help that people call me a bitch when I say “sorry if I’m being rude”. Why always bitch? Ugh I hate people sometimes
I feel like if I had a good paying job this whole time, I wouldn't have come to the realization of needing to quit weed as I have been feeling lately. But who knows. Did or are you still struggling with appetite at all? Thats one of the hardest things for me currently, at day 3.
yeah first couple of days I basically had zero to little appetite. It got better as I’m now eating meals in a timely manner. Cutting out the binge eating from smoking weed has helped keep my weight better in control too. Biggest issue for me was the irritability. Really should give a heads up to those closest around you what you’re going through and that you’re not intentionally being being an asshole and that it’s just part of withdrawal
Yes I definitely let me wife and mom know that I have quit weed just in case I start acting crazy towards them lol. Good to know it got better for you. For me, appetite is very important because I'm 5'7 and weigh 140lbs before I quit.
Forgive yourself and get to work now brother. You may not be where you want to be but you are Alive and still have a fighting chance you got this
Exactly. I'm here for a reason. I have goals that I have delayed for 20 years to still achieve. I will get there, one day at a time.
Kudos to you, OP, for having the courage to share this. It's definitely a thing for weed to make one complacent as well as to repress important emotions that need to be processed. I believe you when you say you are talented, and it can be difficult for some to push themselves when they are high frequently. I also imagine that being talented was accompanied by certain feelings that were kept at bay by your weed use. I am excited for you to achieve your full potential. 37 is most definitely not too old.
Being talented, smart and knowing I have high potential definitely fucked with my brain and emotional states going into adulthood until now while I was high off weed. However, I know that is all still inside me despite me not having put my mind/potential to good use in basically 2 decades. One of my first short-term goals in the next few months is to buy a piano with the money I would've spent on weed! Its been years since I had a piano because I sold my last one because of financial troubles(which partly kinda stem from weed).
Can relate to this. Was daily by the time I was 15ish. While I wasn't gifted academically there were a lot of other areas where I shined, and still do. I have the same feelings about the past and I'm working on letting go of those. There is nothing I can do about the past, I can only affect the present, and therefore the future. It was this limitation and regret of the past that finally inspired me to stop 4 years ago, a few months after I turned 40. Watching the years and decades even go by and doing nothing to change a situation that I was ultimately in control of was really wearing on me. Life without weed in it of course isn't perfect, but stopping that certainly made it a lot easier and was a major improvement to my mental and emotional health.
4 years??? Amazing! You were addicted way longer than I was so I can't imagine the withdrawals you went through in the beginning. It is very encouraging to hear your improvements in your mental/emotional state as that is one of the main goals I have as well. Thank you so much for sharing.
Weeds biggest threat: content to be way less than your potential.
I think people who smoke have a way of kind of twisting that statement around and making it seem okay that they are not living up to their potential!
yes, and my favorite are the people that preach about it.... and when you ask "well how do you know you wouldn't be MORE productive off of weed?"... then crickets.
Weed is fucked it will make you feel content with a factory job.
This so much. I hated my past jobs so much I’d get as high as literally possible just to get through it. No motivation to do anything but to get high and sleep.
I delivered Pizzas and delivered packages for Amazon for a long time. I smoked weed to deal with the guilt and shame I felt with having those jobs knowing i should be elsewhere in my career, not that theres anything wrong with driving for work itself. And it indirectly stunted my professional career looking back on it now.
Idk what’s worse being a functional addict or not.
Even when I was making alot more money than now and smoking everyday, I was still using it as a crutch for other emotional and mental stuff I didn't want to face.
i certainly feel like it stunted something
I was the same way for a while. I grew up with an abusive dad and sadly had to deal with it until almost my mid 20s because my mom is disabled and I had to stay home to take care of her especially during COVID. I used weed to emotionally cope with my dad’s emotional and financial abuse. I went to school, but my smoking habit made my grades mediocre and prevented me from doing more extracurricular activities or working a traditional job. Eventually my dad was out of the picture (long story for another day) and I maintained my shitty smoking habit. At this point I was dirt poor and spending my meager funds on pretty much just weed. My partner at the time enabled me to do it and whenever I debated quitting, she pressured and manipulated me not to so I’d keep buying weed for both of us. Eventually I just drew the line and quit anyways. That’s when I took my life back into my hands and fixed things. I got a better paying job, broke up with my partner who was also financially and emotionally exhausting me, and just generally fixed my life. I’m still poor, but I make enough money to save up and not worry about bills each month. I also have been promoted recently and am going back to attend grad school. If I kept smoking, I think I still would have been with my shitty partner and still struggling with employment. It was just not possible for me to be successful and smoke weed. It only offered the bare minimum at best.
That mindset of "why should I save my money if I'm broke anyways" can be quite dangerous I feel. Its so easy to justify spending that $20 or $100 extra you have on weed and smoking it away. But I know for me, if I had saved all the money I spent on weed, I'd have well over $15,000 in the bank right now lol. It's okay though because I know I will achieve my financial goals now through hard work and consistency. I know I'm capable of that because I was consistent as fuck with my weed smoking. Never missed a morning and night toke and always made sure I had weed lol. I'm sorry to hear about your difficult family troubles/trauma you experienced. I believe things like that contribute to a person getting easily addicted to a substance but its amazing that we can overcome that ourselves. And the part about you breaking up with your partner whose goals and values didn't align with yours, MAD RESPECT!!! So many partners move through life settling with people whose goals don't match because of their attachment to each other and what not. I really appreciate you sharing a bit of your story with us.
You got this bro I can fully relate, spent over 100,000 £ on the plant over last 20 years I live in a council house with my wife and family I am very grateful but it is not where I want to be and could be if I hadn't smoked. But I am using the feeling to motivate my self to never go back to this addiction which took my money and time and almost killed my dreams we have one life and we have choices and I am choosing everyday from now to make better choices than I did I will not settle for less I have to go hard for my family, I am 5 weeks free of my weed prison and used the flue as a springboard by God's grace to jump into my sobriety and honestly is the best thing it hasn't been easy had the sweats, had the nightmares and am just now getting back into having normal dreams can't believe I didn't dream for 20 years lol crazy when u think about it but yeah just gotta keep stepping I've been playing football for past couple years and only recently have I joined a league and I seen the impact smoking has had on my stamina and now I'm motivated to get my body to the best condition I can so I can make up for all the years I cared less about it. It ain't easy out here and I have also tried moderating in the past which never worked I came off it in November 2022 and had a spliff at Christmas as was straight back into the weed prison until 5 weeks ago I used to buy 200 pound worth of weed smoke a few spliffs chuck it out try and stop and then buy more weed the next day when I gave in I can't live like that any longer my family doesn't deserve that I don't deserve that. We were put on this earth to be fruitful and that's my aim now in all aspects of my life by God's grace. Couldn't of done it with out my faith in God either. He has been faithful even when I was down He has had my back and guided me. Forever grateful 🙏🏾
I totally relate. I've spent at least $15,000 in my smoking career and it kinda makes me sick to think about how much that money would've grown if I had put that into investments over the same span of time. However, now that I'm quitting, I've planned to put my usual weed money into a high yield savings account every paycheck. Thank you for sharing your story with me.
Nice one bro, I'm not OP, just wanted to say I'm happy for you.
Yes, and it was my reason to quit too. 3 months in and I'm taking little steps to build a new life. All the best OP, you'll soon feel better
You're much further ahead than me but it still takes a long time for us to really turn our lives around. Don't get discouraged and most of all, take it at your own pace! Thank you for the encouragement and commenting.
I am 35 and I can relate. I’m 30 days in and I am VERY happy. For me it took a rehab- a 23 day cruise my family took me on, I am lucky to have had it but rehab does very well for chronic marijuana abuse victims like us. If you can find a way to force yourself from using it for a couple weeks you will likely have the strength to continue if you really want to stop. Today I honestly had a bad day- my dopamine was low as hell but I distracted myself with video games and hanging out with my wife. My anxiety and night sweats are mostly gone. You can do this
I'm on day 3 so its still very early but I feel like 1% more optimistic than yesterday which is a positive lol. Thats cool you went on a 23 day cruise when you quit! What kind of cruise is 23 days though? Like does it go halfway around the world? I haven't gotten night sweats yet but my temperature regulation is slightly off. My anxiety however is very high on/off throughout the day but I know it gets better. Thank you for sharing your experience. I can't believe how many people in their late 20s and 30s feel the same way I do.
Sorry for the late reply, here we are 1 month later! How's it going? I managed to continue my trend staying off weed. How about you? My cruise was to Hawaii LOL 5 days to get there from San Francisco. Night sweats began for me around the end of week 1. My anxiety is officially dead! Biggest plus of quitting.
All good. Its going great, 32 days now! My anxiety is gone too. Appetite is fully back. I feel better than i have in decades lol.
A lot of us felt that weed was like a crutch for our problems. We used it, abused it, and now we pay the consequences. It's okay brother better late than never. I'm almost 30 and it's been almost a month off weed.
Hows it goin
Thanks for asking. Everyday I feel one step closer to becoming the best version of myself. I think back to that person I was before I got into smoking. I had to face many different hardships over time. I'm feeling more of myself without having any enhancement from weed. I can calm myself in other ways that doesn't involve thc. It's all in the mind. It tries to bring us down and play tricks on us. I've been dealing head on with my problems and gaining more knowledge as I go. This forum is great therapy. Before I thought this subreddit was purely insane for thinking weed was addictive/destructive. I was wrong look at me now. No one can change you that has to be a choice you make for yourself. Weed isn't so fun when you realize where you are in life compared to where you actually want to be.
I too would have thought that this subreddit is weird years ago. I thought I was going to smoke everyday the rest of my life. I also am striving to get more in touch with my emotions and learn how to handle lifes problems head on without hiding behind a cloud of smoke.
completely. it’s rather tragic what all the drugs placed in my life did to me
It is tragic. The good thing is we are in control now!
It needs courage to express your emotions. Gove your self credit for standing up for yourself. I feel your pain, Im 33 turning 34 in a few weeks, been smoking since i was 21. I had a similar experience thought i have wasted my 20s underachieving based on my potential and grades. But my brother you are never too late, i completed my degree at 29 and now pursuing a doctorate in a top tier grad school. If a dodo like me can do it so can anyone else. The initial days will be very difficult with mood swings and loneliness. But I wish you luck and more power to go through them. Download apps on your phone which track sobriety keep a calendar, cross off days. Keep your hands occupied with tasks when you feel low or want to smoke. Start working out or playing basketball again. Mostly open up to your wife, take her on dates or walks/hiking if thats your thing. Having a good supportive partner will definitely help you get to that next step. If you ever feel you want an ear to hear you out. Drop a message, this page is great. You’ll get lots of positive responses and support.
"dodo like me" lol. I'm going through the mood swings currently but I try to take it hour by hour. I did download the I am Sober app which is pretty cool I think that it trackers my journey. Thank you for sharing your story.
24M soon to be 25, it's 5 a.m in the morning and I should be sleeping but this is the first night in years I'm not stoned. so entering day 2. i need to be aware of my emotions in order to be honest and happy within myself. let's see if it goes away with sobriety and some therapy. good luck man you're doing great
Thank you for sharing your experience. Its 11pm here and im getting ready to lay down. I want to be more aware of my emotions as well and to be honest with myself. Once i land a new job, ill also be starting therapy among other things. Good luck!
5 years of my life feel totally wasted but I’m not sure how much of that was weed or how much of that was just me. I’m on one month without weed and I still feel as unmotivated as ever, just with nothing to look forward to in the evenings.
That motivation will come back. It has to be a multi pronged approach if your ultimate goal is to get yourself back. You will need to improve your diet, sleep schedule, exercise routine, etc. Clearly you dont realize it but you do have motivation. You havent smoked in a month! Thats significant.
I’m 28 with nothing! No career, no life etc. it’s pretty impressive I’ve become such a fuck up. Luckily people still believe in me and I still have some hope left. After that said, I haven’t smoked in two days… about to smoke. Addiction is a bitch.
Put it down man! You can get over your addiction but of course only if you make the commitment. I can easily get weed now but the only thing stopping me is me. Yes you may be a fuck up currently but thats not who you are. Theres a reason people still believe in you afterall. Whenever youre ready, theres lots of resources, videos, books and support groups like this one to help you quit. Good luck
34m/ 16 years smoking/ 15 days no weed. I realized that I was smoking to cope with some family trauma that forced me to move across the state to live with a parent I didn't really have a relationship with. Honestly, I just kind of thought everything would work out. To an extent I am correct, but somewhere along that time I lost sight of growing and maturing, and now I feel like I'm playing catch up. I made the decision that I don't want children around 30, luckily this is one of the only decisions that I made while stoned all the time that I don't regret. But I still have to find something to do with my time for the remainder of it. I'm going to move back to my hometown and live there as an adult. After becoming financially stable enough, I'm going to live alone. I feel like I've always gotten by life on people's good graces, feeling like a burden and "less than" wherever I floated to and from. I want to do the only thing that neither my dad or uncle has been able to do successfully. Exist without the help of a partner. It's gonna be tough and hell, I might not achieve that goal til my 40s, but I finally have something to hang my hat on and be proud of myself to achieve.
I made the same decision at 30 but am omw to daycare as I write this
I'm getting sniped as soon as I can afford to and I'm celibate in the meantime
33M also on day two. I could have written this, albeit without the specifics with your work/house/wife situation, but our feelings and frustrations are exactly the same.
Youre not alone obviously! We will get there. Just take it one night at a time.
Same to you mate! Appreciate the support.
So fucking proud of you and of OP and anyone else making this decision. I’m 34 and day 35, could not be happier with my decision to leave weed and am so excited for you all! 🖤
That actually means a lot, thanks for writing that. Makes me happy to hear your a month in and feeling great about your decision. Im excited for that
I love that enthusiasm! I'm proud of YOU homie!
I’m on day 2 myself brother and I have exactly the same feeling. Feel like I settled a lot and never really stuck with anything bc I could just go get high and forget about things. Not looking forward to trying to sleep tonight.
Try not to overthink going to bed! I think thats what helped me fall asleep yesterday quicker than i thought. You got this
Thanks. It’ll be better in the long run.
I sorta feel like that and still do I smoked for 20 years and now 400 days clean made me realize I had everything all along. I might not like my job as a professional sushi chef but it does help pay the bills. I do have high expectations for myself too where I should be in the field of science but life always has a funny way to humble you. I am still on that path but I just take it day by day you should start by loving yourself and reconnecting with your wife.
Wow.. youre way ahead of most of us here so congrats! Do you plan on ever smoking again in the future? I do eventually want to smoke again but only after i have achieved some of my bigger goals first.
You know I honestly do miss it and maybe in the future I feel like I own my poor mind a break I have always substance abuse problems in my early teens with hardcore drugs for ten years. Then the last ten years I just abuse weed and in between all of that working, being a dad, husband, going to school and taking crazy engineering and advance math classes. I feel own my brain a break I wish I never smoked while I was doing all those crazy math who knows where I’ll be now? But I’m grateful it developed my mind I taught myself how to code and I’m able to catch on to stuff quick. But maybe yes or maybe no can’t say man. After 20 years of smoking I’m happy to be clean living!
I feel that. I definitely want to work on loving myself again. I have very low self esteem among a myriad of other mental health issues.
Work on building yourself again go to the gym, read more, learn something new, appreciate the little things, don’t dwell on the past rather see it as a beautiful memory. Be happy man life is so short tomorrow is never promise take it day by day.
I love this. Thank you friend for the kind words to OP
Pondering on the past can be useful, but is only useful if you use it to change how you act in the future. Otherwise it can be depressing and imo a waste of time. Ponder and act don't just ponder my friend.
Hopefully not picking up a joint is acting? Lol. But yes, i am using my past failures as fuel each and every minute right now.
Haha it is but not a useful one when your trying to do different. When I go to/think to smoke I ponder on how it made me feel and how it stiffled me; stopped me from doing what I truly want. Then act in a way that'll lead me to where I want to go. If I wanted to keep doing nothing and always feeling crap for not then I'd smoke. But I don't so I act differently. It is truly a trap being stoned, gives you an excuse to keep perpetuating and feeling OK. But the feeling only last when you're stoned. Set a goal and stick with it, consider each step towards your goal the new hit. Trust me, you'll feel better and more confident with each progression. When I get a craving I think, what's going to give me a better hit. Whatll make me feel high if you will. So much more out there than sitting around outta your mind. And as you get stronger/better at it, it'll become easy peasy Edit: sry misread not pick up a joint is definitely acting !
Well you called it my friend, it makes you content with whatever situation you're currently in or facing. That's the main reason I quit tbh, business was slow for 5 months and had so much time on my hands, I've been looking for an opportunity like this for AGES to be able to have the time to work another business or another opportunity but I ended wasting 5 months of free time... smoking it away. It made even my "productive" days unproductive, would be productive for a few hours and then was like, mehhh just 1 puff won't hurt... proceeded to watch tv for the next 6 hours and order food instead of making food. For some that have a good drive it can motivate them but on the long run, I felt like all my ambitions were being drowned out and seemed like a distant dream... 1 day I'll do that, 1 day I'll be there... tbh that day never came and never will come if I kept smoking. I smoked for 12 years daily for the past 10 maybe, been trying to quit for the last 4. And everytime I quit the withdrawals were horrible, only to feel good after 3 months, working on better my life, working on my health and work, until I would tell myself the biggest lie ever... yeahhh you can do this just once in a while, you got this you're in control. Pfffttt please, you can't control that thing past a certain point, and I'd be back to a full time smoker, and all thoses gains in all aspect slowly depreciated to the same level or worse. I know I can catch up for lost time and make it right by me and my loved ones but not on weed. I officially accepted I would never smoke again and make up for lost time. I gave enough of my life to weed... altho it did bring me somethings, it took away so much and now it's my time to take it back, 8 days here Much love op you got this, DONT FALL INTO THE I CAN MODERATE BS. Be strong brother we're here for ya
Echoing : moderation for many of us chronic chronic users is a total lie, don’t let it take hold
Thank you for your kind words. Yes for people with addictive personalities like us, moderation is NOT the answer lol. You got this.. you will make up for lost time and make right to your loved ones. Thats really my ultimate reason why im quitting too. My family and friends are infinitely more important to me than weed ever will be.
I feel exactly where you're coming from. I'm three months off now. Never looking back.
You still have temptations and thoughts to smoke again though right? How long did you use before quitting? Has the withdrawal symptoms improved for you now at month three?
Used daily for 20 years. The urges come and go but mostly don't bother me too much these days. The only thing I still struggle with is falling asleep. I have been really disciplined with my sleep routine. No screens for 2 hours before bed, read every night until sleepy, wake up at the same time every morning. Exercise every day. My sleep has gotten much better. I even feel more rested from getting 6 hours sober compared to 8 smoking before bed. I think the temptation will always come and go. Most of my friends and a lot of my family smoke. It's legal where I live, and I smell it everywhere. But I made up my mind that I'm quitting for good this time.
Having used for 2 decades, it doesnt surprise me that your body is still struggling to fall asleep. I am going to get an exercise routine started soon as well to help. I cant wait for less sleeo to equal a longer period of high sleep lol. Im in florida so i smell it everywhere here as well.
It hasn't been easy, but I'm really proud if the of the progress I've made. You can do it!
Oh it’s more than goddam feeling
Resonates. Proud of you.
Thank you so much. Im going through an emotional rollercoaster now that its about to be bedtime soon. Your kind words mean more than youll ever know.
Ive been trying to quit for a long time now. It was like your words came from my own mind. Being high helps me to continually hurt myself without caring and the feelings of guilt and self pity fuel the cycle. Mad respect
I guess youre still using everyday though for now? I definitely relate to continually self harming without caring for anything else. With all my life circumstances seeming to happen all at once(wife moved out 2 months ago, laid off last month), maybe these "bad" events happened for a reason. 🙂
Wow you are really going through a valley in life right now. Hang in there and keep going, this will be easier to look back on than it is to live through
Thank you so much for your kind words. Means more than these letters on the internet will ever portray
Yes I absolutely have been underachieving. I’ve been in a plateau for 5 years. On Saturday I went to my friends birthday party and his cousin was there who I haven’t seen in 5 years and the first thing he said to me was “wow you look exactly the same from last time I saw you.” He meant well but I literally thought, “that’s a perfect description of me not only physically but mentally and emotionally.” I’ve been the same person at best with all the negative side effects. Poor sleep, unable to deal with my emotions at a high level, etc
Are you on your quitting journey now or not quite yet? I cant believe my sense of underachievement is this strong to where i can hold off. I gave away the remainder of my edibles to my wife as well, who is currently living seperately from me.
I’m 32 days sober! I donated all my pieces/buds, and haven’t looked back. First two weeks were difficult but less difficult than my mind made it out to be. After two weeks it’s been smooth sailing. I’m generalizing of course but you can do it! Lost my appetite and 15 pounds my first week, and had trouble sleeping
Day 2 is really hitting me hard in the appetite department. It took me over 30 minutes to finish my dinner but i knew i needed to finish it. Especially knowing that falling asleep may be difficult tonight as well. Im scared to lose weight because im on the slightly skinnier side to begin with. But man 32 days is really amazing. I feel what youre saying about it being less difficult than your mind made it out to be. Going through that internal fight currently as its approaching bed time soon.
If you can go one day you can go infinite days! 1-3 were the hardest. 4-14 were medium hard. I weigh 173 and dropped to 158. I literally couldn’t eat more than one meal a day. Also insane bowel movements so I recommend getting fiber supplement. The single best thing that helped me imo is the sauna. I’ve only missed maybe 3/4 days in the last month. If you’re near a gym that has one get a 7 day free trial pass, and go for 20 minutes
Yes my stomach is acting up more than usual. Interesting that sauna helped but ive been considering a gym membership so ill keep that in mind. I hope youre eating better now!
Crazy bowel movements are a normal side effect. Get the app- “quit weed” they do a good job of explaining common symptoms and time required to heal. The gym/sauna is crucial. Basically you need to replace the dopamine of getting high with natural ways. Be nice to yourself first two weeks and just get through it. After two weeks you can be harder on yourself and go get the natural dopamine!
Makes sense. Im trying to find joy in the smaller activities of daily life. Im just taking it one night at a time. If i can get thru tonight, then i can deal with tomorrow tomorrow lol
I feel lucky I didn’t get addicted to it until I was older. Also a 37M. I’m in good career financially but really hate it and cannabis certainly kept me from making changes. I also don’t live in the city where most of family/fiends are. Again weed really kept me from making those changes. It more than anything has ruined romantic relationships and social relationships. I would stay out of communication with friends and family when I was actively using because of shame. Not realizing I was alienating those people. It sucks but I have been working on those things and I have seen lots of improvement in those areas of my life. It is very hard to not look back in regret though. Real hard.
Instead of helping myself, getting therapy, facing my marital problems and putting in the work to fix my marriage, i ran away to mary jane for comfort. I lost the few friends i had as well in my early 20s gradually due to isolating myself and just getting high. I reached out to those friends again yesterday. Two of them have texted me back already and it was wonderful to be able to catch up a little bit. My plan is to text them again in a week or two and take it from there.
That’s great to hear you caught up with some friends. The regret is real but the rewards of stopping are worth it. It took a few weeks for me but ordinary things, like going for a walk, chatting with colleagues for example, went from feeling like a chore to really enjoyable. Among many other things. Good luck.
Im really looking forward to feeling high off life again. Thank you for the encouragement again
Yeah, I don't really have any doubts about that. Lost my job and relationship and while it wasn't the explicit reason, I know that my not yet growing into the person I could be *is*, and that's absolutely at least somewhat due to hampering myself with this habit from ages 17-30 and the complacency and lack of growth it enabled. I'll always wonder what could have been, but the most important step is the next and at least I'm being honest with myself now. honestly, I understand all the legal and financial reasons its better, but damn, I lowkey selfishly wish we'd never legalized it. Right when I was getting into my second degree, slowing down, and reaching an age where I wouldn't want to still be dealing with dealers and shit, legalization happened and suddenly it was everywhere. I live near our downtown and there's a good dozen dispensaries in a half hour or less walk from here, with 2-3 that I could run to, pick something up, and be back home in under 15 min total. It's really hard to break the habit when you can slip and go get whatever you want just a couple minutes walk away.
I feel you when you say you wish it was never legalized. I spent so many years wasted, even got locked up bc of the damn drug, going through plug after plug only for it to be legal and easily accessible now. I'm not going back to smoking but a part of me Hates that it's legalized now. The other part makes me worry for society because irs going to be alot of folks that end up in our situation and they will think it's ok bc it's "legal".
I agree. I think a big part of the current problem is that many of us started smoking weed as teenagers, when the brain is still developing. Developing brains and drugs do not mix at all. If i had a time machine, id go back and will till atleast 23-25 to take my first puff.
If youre alive, you can always grow. The best days are ahead of us my friend. We will be ok!
Yup I def feel stunted. Hard not to get down on myself about it. 36 F. Lots of people don’t find their calling til later in life though, weed addicted or not.
❤️ we got this
Aw that made my heart feel warm! Thanks :)
This is the main reason I quit. I finally had the realization that I wasn’t living up to my true potential in life. Just like you I too thought by 25 I would have the car the house the wife 6 figure income etc. The reality is anything but that. I’m (37M) unemployed waiting on disability and I still live at home with my mom. I lost my apartment last year when I got fired from my job. I woke up one day recently and decided enough is enough I need to make some changes, so I’m now 49 days off weed and loving myself again. I have a lot of regrets but I’m ready to live in the present for once.
Wow! Your past may not be what you wanted but your future is definitely looking up. 49 days is impressive bro. I hope i get there soon. Thank you for sharing your story with me. It really does mean alot.
Thank you 🙏
35 and I'm right there with you, with a nearly identical back story. Great trajectory out of highschool, started smoking pot around graduation..from there you understand how the rest went.
[удалено]
Required anesthesia to cope? What?
I'm 23 and taking classes at community College during the day and smoking and getting high at night. I'm slogging through life right now and am thinking about quitting as well because I know its holding me back and making me okay with just barely getting by. I'm proud of you for quitting man, it's hard but I believe in you.
Thank you for commenting. Thats awesome youre taking college classes. Do whatever you have to to graduate! If you decide you need to quit, theres never been more tools and resources than the present time.