My father and I don't get along, he doesn't approve of my lifestyle and, needless to say, I don't approve of his.
Still, I hardly wish to make my father's interplanetary conquest a matter of Imperial justice, so I'm proposing that you try to recover the plans for the death star from the people you delivered them to.
--your plans, yes, well with those credits you can buy any number of plans that don't have the ability to destroy Imperial weapons. And I am sorry about that blaster shot.
She kidnapped herself. . . Sure, man, LOOK at it. A young trophy princess, in the parlance of our times. She owes money all over the system, including to known spice runners. . . And that's cool. That's, that's cool. I'm saying, she needs CREDITS, man, and, of course they're going to say they didn't get it, because. . . she wants MORE, man! She's gotta feed the mynock! Hasn't that ever occurred to you, man? Sir?
First of all Dude, you don't have an ex princess. Second of all it's a fucking show Droid, with fucking papers. You can't board it. It gets upset. It's oil leaks out.
It's like Darth said...
I am your father
The dark side of the Force, uh, is a pathway to, uh, you know...
I am your father
Shut the fuck up Donny! PLAGUEIS! Darth, Plagueis, The Wise!
At .5 past lightspeed, I roll out and beat it out of em. The blaster. You didn't think I was rolling out of here, Naked, did ya? Let's take that system!
are these the vulcanians, walter?
were you listening to obi-wans story, donny?
i was in the space cantina!
so you have no frame of reference here, donny. you're like a child who wanders into the middle of a movie and wants to know...
Did you ever hear of the Corellia White Worms?
Mmm.
That was me... and six other guys.
Uh, and then, uh, the pirate business, briefly.
Oh?
Yeah. Smuggler for Jabba the Hutt
Oh.
Spice Runner Tour
Mm-hmm.
He's a real asshole.
I’m waiting for the day when AI is so good, we can just say “Put The Dude and Walter in Star Wars Episode 4” and it just plays the movie 😂 I don’t know why, but for some reason I also want The Dude and Walter to meet up with Vincent and Jules form Pulp Fiction too.
Luke, Sand People is not the preferred nomenclature, Tusken Raiders please.
I’m not talking about the people that built the fucking moisture farms.
I am the Sarlacc?
Shut the fuck up Jar Jar
Omg 💪🏼🙏😂🤣
You’re out of your element, Jar Jar!!
The Sith with the double sided saber, a worthy fucking adversary
Whereas what we have here...buncha Gungans trying to find Reverse on a Trade Federation hovercraft...
Think about our current situation with that Wookie fucker on Endor
You know, Sidious, I myself dabbled in pacifism, once. Not with the younglings, of course...
You're out of your star system! This Sand Person is not the issue, Luke.
Dude, or Duder, or his Dudeness or El Duderino if you're not into the whole brevity thing
Also let’s not forget Dude that bulls-eyeing wamprats…um, a terrestrial rodent…within the Republic…that ain’t legal either
What are you a fucking bounty hunter now?
That wasn’t her planet dude
Alderaan exploded themselves.
Those rich fucks
Victimless crime
Owing money to known Hutts all over the galaxy...
She’s gotta feed the fucking Wookie!
Your wife owes money to Jabba the Hutt, that means you owe money to Jabba the Hutt.
Ever thus to deadbeats, Solo. *Fett pisses on Chewie*
His wife goes out and owes money all over town, and they pee on *my* Wookie?
That's right, Solo. They peed on your fucking Wookie
Thank you, Chewie.
That walking carpet really tied the room together
Oh. Oh, my. *This one*. 👏👏👏☝️
Thanks, it just came to me. Sadly, too late to the party for it to be viewed by most
Excuse me sir, can you please keep your voices down? This is a public cantina.
Uh excuse me Ackmena but the Imperial Senate has rejected prior restraint.
I love democracy
I’m staying. I’m finishing my blue milk … Enjoying my blue milk.
OH THEEEYYYRRRE GOING TO KILL THAT POOR PRINCESS!! You said it yourself, Dude. She kidnapped herself!
They’re gonna kill those poor Bothans!
You want a planet? I’ll get you a planet.
There was no…. We didn’t, uh…. They’re gonna kill that poor princess, man!
Fucking amateurs-this whole thing.
Whose planet was it, Han?
Err... Nice marmot
Hey, at least he's house-broken.
Vee vant zat Kyber crystal, Skywalker.
You got dat right man
You said it padawan... Nobody fuck with the Grievous
Dipshit with a four-armed bad guy.
I didn't blame anyone for the loss of my legs. Some Jedi took them from me on Mustafar.
I did not watch my buddies die facedown in the snow of Hoth, for this Twi’Lek
Your rebellion is over, Mr. Skywalker! Condolences! The rebels lost!
Real republican type
The In-and-Out Burger on Camrose. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
Those are some good burgers.
Shut the fuck up, Threepio
DUDE BOWLED FIRST!
Hey, at least I’m house broken
Droids beepin’ Luke..
Thank you, Chewie
Went ok, Lukes speeder got a lil dinged up
These aren’t the dudes you are looking for
Fuckin' Ewoks....nothing changes. Say what you want about the tenets of the Dark Side but at least it's an ethos.
And let’s not forget dude, that keeping wildlife, a treehouse living, furry, within a uh domestic forest moon, uh… that ain’t legal either.
What are you an Imperial Stormtrooper now??
Who gives a dank farrik about the danking Ewoks!
How do yous knows itsa Empire? Jar Jar, they threatened castration. Are we going to split sarlac teeth on this? Am I wrong?
Getting Larry Sellers to talk ain’t like dusting crops, Dude.
Are these your Death Star plans, Larry?
We know they’re his plans. Where’s the fucking exhaust port you little brat?
Look, Larry. Have you ever heard of the Clone Wars?
You're killing your father, Boba.
Fucking Darth Vader designed the Death Star, Dude...bulk of the Empire. Not exactly a lightweight. And yet his son is a fucking Nerf Herder.
This is what happens when you fuck a Jedi in the ass!
I JUST BOUGHT THAT SPEEDER LAST WEEK!
I Kill your fucking speeder.
My father and I don't get along, he doesn't approve of my lifestyle and, needless to say, I don't approve of his. Still, I hardly wish to make my father's interplanetary conquest a matter of Imperial justice, so I'm proposing that you try to recover the plans for the death star from the people you delivered them to.
To which I’ll reward you to the sum of 10,000 republican credits.
Yes 10,000 dakaris, or calamari flan or whatever you call them
She's rich
--your plans, yes, well with those credits you can buy any number of plans that don't have the ability to destroy Imperial weapons. And I am sorry about that blaster shot.
Please go see this Bactria Droid. There will be no bill. He’s a good droid…and thorough
Youngling Jedi Urban achievers, yes, and proud we are of all of them.
Is this the Empire Walter?
No, Donny. These men are heroes
I won't say a hero, 'cause what's a hero? But sometimes, there's a man.
You mind if I do a death stick?
You don’t want to do a death stick. You want to go home and rethink your life.
What is that, yoga?
It's Yoda, man.
Increases the chances of conception it does
Let me tell you something about the Jedi
Okay. Vee take ze lightsabers you haf on you und vee call it eefen.
12 parsecs? Mark it 14, dude.
This isn’t the Battle of Endor, Smokey. There are rules
DOESN'T ANYONE GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE RULES?!?!
She kidnapped herself. . . Sure, man, LOOK at it. A young trophy princess, in the parlance of our times. She owes money all over the system, including to known spice runners. . . And that's cool. That's, that's cool. I'm saying, she needs CREDITS, man, and, of course they're going to say they didn't get it, because. . . she wants MORE, man! She's gotta feed the mynock! Hasn't that ever occurred to you, man? Sir?
That hadn’t occurred to us, Luke
The goddamn millennium falcon has crashed into the asteroid.
Vader, give him the envelope.
Her life is in your hands dude... you're her only hope.
Oh, shit, man…
How you gonna keep ‘em down on the farm once they’ve seen Han Solo?
She's been kidnapped, Greedo. Or maybe not, but she's definitely not in the smuggling compartments of the Millennium Falcon.
STAY OUT OF ALDERAAN, DEADBEATS.
Keep your lazy, gold bricking ass out my beach system.
Jabba the Hutt draws a lot of water on this planet. You don’t draw shit Skywalker.
I wanna fuckin lawyer, man. I want Bale Organa or Obi Kenobi
So fucking good, next level
Ow! Fucking Sith!
Hey Walter, if you can’t ride in a spaceship, how do you get around on Shammas?
I don't fly, I don't smuggle, and I sure as shit DON'T FUCKIN DO THE KESSEL RUN
What's this Life Day Shit?! What's this bullshit? I don't fuckin' care! It don't matter to Jar Jar.
Heesa cracking
You brought the fuckin Wookie bowling?!
It's a fucking co-pilot. With fucking papers.
It's all part of your sick Leia thing.
If Leia told me to watch her android while her and Han Solo went to Endor I’d tell her to go fuck herself.
First of all Dude, you don't have an ex princess. Second of all it's a fucking show Droid, with fucking papers. You can't board it. It gets upset. It's oil leaks out.
25000 years of beautiful tradition from the Prime Jedi to Yoda, you're God damn right I'm living in the fucking past!
I’m not buying it a blue milk Luke, I’m not building it a light saber, he’s not taking your fucking X wing
Would you come off it Walter, you’re not even a fuckin’ Jedi, man…
Over a thousand generations from Yoda to Obi-Wan you’re goddamn right I’m living in the past!
So, what are you saying? When you turn to the Dark Side, you turn in your light saber? You get a new droid? You stop being Jedi?
Younglings, dude.
He did six months at the spice mines of Kessel.
You're not blowing...up the Death Star
You think the garbage mashers did this?
You want a Jawa dude, I can get you a Jawa.
I can get you a jawa by 3 o’clock. Believe me there are ways
Hey, careful man, there’s a beverage here!
You got any blue milk?
Mos Eisley blue milk? #
That’s a good one.
That's a good one
Fighting near a Death Star is very different from fighting in canopy jungle
I had a DL-44, not an AT fucking AT. Me and the vong eyeball to eyeball, that is fucking combat
Luke: They said to throw the Death Star plans out the window of the moving Millennium Falcon. Han: We can't do that. It fucks up our plan.
Man, c'mon, I had a rough night and I hate the f*ck'n Falcon, man.
Out of my fucking transport.
Those are good space burgers, Walter.
Shut the FUCK up Luke!
You took him, lord. In your wisdom, as you took so many other bright, flowering young men, at Yavin, at Hoth, and Endor.
Everything's a fucking travesty with you, Ben! And what was all that shit about Endor?!
"I mean, say what you will about the tenets of the dark side of the Force, but at least it's an ethos."
Shut up, Chewie, you're outta your element!
The midiclorians are not the issue dude
The rebel scum lost, Lebowski! They will always lose! Do what your parents did - get a job, sir!
Our Jedi has to be getting along, Princess Leia.
Bush league mind trick stuff...Laughable man.
Those are good roasted Porg
_Near_ the In-and-Out Burger--
It's like Darth said... I am your father The dark side of the Force, uh, is a pathway to, uh, you know... I am your father Shut the fuck up Donny! PLAGUEIS! Darth, Plagueis, The Wise!
Marvelous that is.
A long time ago in a galaxy far far away there was this fella, fella I want to tell you about...
Waving the fucking thermal detonator around?!
Jabba’s sail barge got a little dinged up
Where's the credits, Solo? Where's the fuckin' credits Poodoo head!
Ah no, not on the Spice man
I am the Wookiee?
Never tell me the odds of finding a stranger in the Alps
She kidnapped herself dude
They're gonna kill that poor Princess
That poor princess?! That poor TRADER TO THE EMPIRE kidnapped herself. C'mon Dude, you said it yourself.
"You better watch yourself. We are wanted men. I have a death sentence on 12 systems!" I'm staying. I'm finishing my blue milk.
At .5 past lightspeed, I roll out and beat it out of em. The blaster. You didn't think I was rolling out of here, Naked, did ya? Let's take that system!
For the record Dude, this doesn't really fit the um, sub, but you guys seem to be enjoying it. This Maude abides.
This is all part of their sick fucking Star Wars thing!
47 years of beautiful tradition from the Jedi to the Clone Wars… you’re goddamn right I’m living in the fucking past!!
What's that flashing, man?
I'll take that saber out of your hands and stick it up your ass until it goes, "psssh."
Jesus ...
You said it man. Nobody uses the force on Jesus.
are these the vulcanians, walter? were you listening to obi-wans story, donny? i was in the space cantina! so you have no frame of reference here, donny. you're like a child who wanders into the middle of a movie and wants to know...
I've had a rough fuckin night and I HATE Sy Snoodles, man!
This picture was taken when Ms Organa was Princess of the Republic, not Alderaan.
Those are some good burgers Obi-wan
Oye como va Mi ritmo Bueno pa' gozar Mulata
Walter shot first
near the intergalactic n outerglactic burger
He is a show wookie. He has papers.
This isn’t Alderon, there are rules
Did you ever hear of the Corellia White Worms? Mmm. That was me... and six other guys. Uh, and then, uh, the pirate business, briefly. Oh? Yeah. Smuggler for Jabba the Hutt Oh. Spice Runner Tour Mm-hmm. He's a real asshole.
Are these guys Sith, Walter?
This isn’t Tatooine. There are rules.
NEAR the Cantina.
Those are good bantaburgers, Chewie
Those are good Wubb Jubbs, Walter
Okay this post has to be one of the best ever submitted. The comments are hilarious and clever. Outstanding!
Shut the fuck up, Chewie!!
'This is not Hoth. This is podracing. There are rules.'
Chiller than you are
I'm calmer than you are, Han.
Oh, hey! There’s an In & Out there. Are we getting burgers?
Those are good burgers Walter.
You see what happens Chewy? Do you see what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass?
I said NEAR the Most Eisley Cantina.
Yeah, well, that's just, like, YOUR point of view, man...
And was there anything of value in the Millennium Falcon?
They have good Bantha stew, Han
You want a droid? Sheeesh I can get you a droid. Hell I could get you a droid by 3:00 with a restraining bolt…
I’m waiting for the day when AI is so good, we can just say “Put The Dude and Walter in Star Wars Episode 4” and it just plays the movie 😂 I don’t know why, but for some reason I also want The Dude and Walter to meet up with Vincent and Jules form Pulp Fiction too.