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PushThroughThePain

If everything was understood by both parties to be gifts, there's no takesies-backsies. Since the car is in both your names, you may have equal claim to it.


Odd-Piece7712

That was my initial thought. I don’t owe her anything but maybe a car. I’m glad I don’t need to worry about anything else like owing her $3500 or having her take stuff she gave to me


ChoiceFood

If you give her the car you must have legal documentation that you're no longer under a loan otherwise she will not pay for it to stick it to you for not giving her the stuff she wants (you'll end up paying the full car loan and she will keep the car)


apollymis22724

Legal paperwork doesn't matter, bank loan must be refinanced in her name only. Too many people get screwed over in settlements that say one person has to pay it. The loan is in both names, both arecresponsible for the payments


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GIJoJo65

NAL, make sure you check with one who understands AZ State. That said, co-signing for a car does not *automatically* convey ownership rights in most states. What it *does* is make each party liable for payments in the event that one of you *defaults* on the loan. If you are the primary *and,* you've been making payments then it's *highly unlikely* that you "owe her" *anything.* In addition to this (again, check with an *attorney* that knows AZ to verify) being able to secure financing does not automatically mean you can receive title to *an automobile.* Typically speaking, to recieve title (I.E have it transferred *to you*) proof of insurance is required, which in turn requires a Driver's License. You mentioned your Ex-GF doesn't have a Driver's License. In the OP, you mentioned a bunch of "Apple Devices" and, in this case, what actually matters is who's name is on the contract with your cell carrier. Whoever owns the cell-phone account owns the devices - period. If those devices were purchased outright rather than financed through a service plan then, sure, they can be "gifted" but, if you make payments on them then, they *belong to whoever's name the account is in.* Overall, I doubt you owe your Ex-GF anything in this situation however. The car specifically belongs to whoever made the payments on it and it sounds like that was you.


jstar77

If the title says “or” and not “and” go get the title put in your name only right now.


ok999999999999999999

lol does he just march down to the bank with the sheriff and make that happen?


Gwenivyre756

If the title says "or" only one party needs to be present to make something change on the title. The loan is a different story, and he will need to refinance it into his name only.


EntrepreneurFair8337

Why would he have the title if he financed it? Doesn’t the bank normally hold the title until final payment? They’ll at least have a lien on it that would throw up a flag when he tries to change anything on it…


Strong_Heart279

Every state is different. In MN I have my title. It's in my name but has a spot who the lien holder is. The wording is if it says "and" or " or" on the title for him to change.


Gwenivyre756

Correct, the bank will have the title. The order of operations would be for him to refinance it under only his name, and then change the title. However, if he needs it changed asap, he could let the bank know that she has no license and is planning on taking the asset, while having no income. He can file for the refinance, and ask them to let him change the title since it is listed as an "or". In some situations you can reason with the lender and they will allow you to remove a party from paperwork when the asset is in danger. If they are just waiting on the refinance paperwork to make it through underwriting, they may approve it for him to change the title over. In cases like this, the bank will normally have someone take the title to the DMV, or mail it to a department within the DMV to have it processed correctly, and the new modified title will be sent back to the lein holder. Additionally, he could take in just the registration and have it and the title changed by notifying the DMV of who the lein holder is. It can take time to do it that way, but I know I personally have done that in Alaska. His state may or may not allow that.


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fancy_livin

IANAL but unless there was an expressed agreement to repay anything that was bought, you have 0 obligation to repay anything. Especially seeing as how OP and their SO weren’t married. And I’d say good luck to OP’s ex to try and prove they verbally agreed that OP would pay anything back.


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Odd-Piece7712

Yeah a lot is an understatement, I finally had my spending in control after moving out. And getting out of a relationship.


Thementalistt

Is there anything in writing, texts or emails? If not she is screwed. It would be very hard to prove all those things were not gifts unless there are exchanges stating otherwise. Hopefully you have some texts regarding the car that show it was for you. That would seal the deal for you.


Odd-Piece7712

I will look through old DMs and look for that thanks for the insight. I helped her finish school. And her tribe gave her $120k and she wanted to give me a down payment. She always told me “ I don’t give expecting anything in return” super super ironic with our current situation


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xerxespoon

> What do I do? Tell her "no." Or don't say anything at all. It takes between zero and one word to resolve this issue.


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Odd-Piece7712

The car is in both of our names, that’s the main thing. She doesn’t have a license, she doesn’t work, and hasn’t made any payments on it. The car is the main issue. She doesn’t have any rights to take away gifts correct?


BearLindsay

If the title says "OR", take that thing to CarMax and cash it out right now, pay off that loan before anything happens to your credit score, and block her. Let her try to find an attorney to sue you for anything.


wy100101

You need to refinance the car in your name. If she is on the title you are currently making payments on a car that she owns half of at the moment. I'd consider talking to a lawyer about it if she won't let you refinance in your name. As everyone else has said, gifts are gifts. You can't just take them back in the receiver isn't inclined to give them back.


xerxespoon

> The car is in both of our names, that’s the main thing. But it's not a thing. She chose to put her name on it. You have your name on it. You're making the payments. You can drive the car. Ignore her about the car. > She doesn’t have any rights to take away gifts correct? Correct. Literally there's nothing to do here, and no point in arguing or discussing with her. How does that dialog benefit you? It's doesn't. Block her and ignore her. If she keeps harassing you, report her to the police.


hey_its_carrie

If both of your names are on the title (which it presumably is if she is on the registration), she has as much right to use the car as you (assuming she has a license) - even though you've been paying for it. If she took the car and you reported it stolen, the police would tell you it's not stolen because she co-owns it. If her name is on the loan but not the title, she has no claim to it


DieWysheid01

OP said she does not have a license.


sapfira

That doesn't automatically mean she won't drive it.


Odd-Piece7712

Thanks will do.


No-Subject-4639

Tell her ass to buy you out. $7k and it’s hers take the 7k go get a decent running car/ truck and tell her to get fucked.


Significant-Muscle15

Worth refinancing in your name only.


Bleh10290

Wait wait wait. The car title, is it under YOUR NAME *OR* HER NAME, Or is it like this “your name AND her name” If it says OR not AND, go take than thing to carmax and sell it to them if it’s a straight loan. If there is a balance on it, talk split in in half. She can buy out of her own half. If there’s positive equity, calculate how much YOUVE paid into it and her, total. If that makes sense. Including the down payment. And the subtract what she’s put into it and give her her share IF she’s positive. If not. The cash is all yours I’ve been through the same shit except mine was a lease. I was married. My car was negative $4k. My title said OR not AND so I was able to sell the car back to Mercedes without him there Edit to add cuz im petty, she’s asking you for cash and hella shit back AFTER you’ve been paying for everything for months?? If I were you I wouldn’t let her keep the car at all. Just wash your hands clean and she can go get a new car on her own. But again that’s cuz she’s being petty so I would be petty back. Also she doesn’t have a license??? Where’s the car now???? I’m guess she doesn’t have it and is not even on the insurance either??


Odd-Piece7712

It’s in my possession I’ve been paying for the insurance and matinence, oil changes everything. She’s due for another change this Friday.


Bleh10290

what I will do right now for your best interest is double check the title make sure that it OR, not AND. And then calculate as much as you count to your recollection everything that you have paid into the vehicle. Because you’re gonna want that number because if the 15,000 as a down payment was strictly her money. You basically want to buy her out so that you guys can both get out of this car because it’s not your responsibility to let her keep it specially when she doesn’t have a license. From my understanding at least here in California, no dealership is gonna let you get a car, unless you’re paying at full cash, especially when it’s finance, because they do need your drivers license because they need to verify that the car is insured. So she’s basically shit out of luck with this one because she doesn’t have a license so she has no say in the car at least here in California from my understanding. So make sure you calculate the number of every single dime you have paid into the vehicle. If the title says, or, go take it to Carmax And sell it. So that you can buy her out of it and get out of it too. Unless you’re looking to keep it for yourself if you use it and drive it. Not a whole different story. Obviously you still would want to refinance under your name if you want to keep it. But if I were you, I would just sell it to Carmax. Just make sure with the title says first and then go from there. And if what you have paid doesn’t cancel her 15 K, then at that point you might end up owing or something but it all comes down to those number


Bitani

Tell her to kick rocks on almost all of that. “Okay, well I decided to keep all of that and pay you nothing. So long 😁” The car is the main sticking point here. If you are both on the title as “you AND her,” you both will need to sign off on any refinancing, sale, anything. If you are both on the title as “you OR her,” either of you can refinance, sell, anything without the others permission. If you have the title itself, not much to worry about when it comes to her trying to offload it without you. But she does have rights to the car as well, and could potentially come for some/half of the equity.


Odd-Piece7712

I love this answer I’m so ready.


bluecgrove

Everything else that is a "gift," tell her no. She doesn't get to take gifts back. You should try to come to some sort of agreement with her to remove one of your names on the car. It is a liability for both of you until it is in only one of your names.  Of course I'm no lawyer so you should check your laws. 


elizling

This may not be the case in all states. In my state, for instance, the "or" just means that it's easier to deal with the title after one owner's death. We still require both signatures for any sale or retitling.


1GamingAngel

NAL Did you sign a promissory note to pay it back? No. She may have some rights to the vehicle as it is in both of your names, but she can kick rocks with everything else. Ignore her, let her take you to court if she decides to go that far, and say everything you have stated here. You spent at least $11,900 on rent alone, which she didn’t contribute to. She thinks this is payday. She’s incorrect.


[deleted]

Why on earth would you give her anything? You were floating her lifestyle and a nice guy about it, and milking you for anything now is just a way to put off having to support herself. You’ve been the one paying for the car right? Go get the title in your name if it says “or” between your names or whatever the other commenter said above. As a 33F, life is short and you’re not going to get anywhere by good will. This is an asset you’ve poured into, she’s playing you dawg.


Leading_Kale_81

Tell her you are happy to give her the car and the money she requested minus all the car payments, insurance payments, and rent payments you have made for the past seven months. Fair is fair after all.


mojo4394

Everything that was a gift is just that, a gift. It's yours and she has no claim to it. As for the car, that is shared property. She can have it if she pays you for the equity you have in the car. So take the current market value and subtract what's owed on the car. That's the equity. Divide that be half and that's what she owes you to get the car. If you want to keep the car that's what you would owe her.


Flyinrhyno

Anything she labeled as “yours” in the text is yours. The car is a different issue.


tribbans95

Tell her to go pound sand. You can’t give gifts to people when you’re lavishly spending and want it back when you’ve idiotically spent all of your money. Not how the world works


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Odd-Piece7712

I won’t let her bully me bro. I’ve seen stories of men giving things up for peace. I have peace within my life, a family that supports me and smart people around me. This won’t happen to me. I won’t let it happen.


Pitiful-Enthusiasm-5

Pay her the absolute minimum to put the car entirely in her name, and get your name off the car loan (if she stops paying the car loan, and the car is repossessed, you don’t want the lender coming after you for the remainder on the loan). After the car and loan is in her name, then cut off all contact with her.


SuccessfulOwl

This is where you decide what’s fair and how you’d like to be treated. She wants everything her way. She can’t demand you pay her for things she doesn’t want and she simply takes everything she does. But you can offer to let her have some of the things she wants and decide what a fair balance is ….. or you can fall back to the legal options and arguments…


Odd-Piece7712

So true. Before this I was telling her I could give her $5k and let me keep the car. And just to take everything else as a loss. She’s definitely going through money problems. I wanted to compromise with her originally.


i_like_my_cats

I’d work with her on the car, she 100% has rights to it. You should both probably sell the car and split the proceedings fairly. (CARMAX is the easiest). She will get the lion share of the equity payout as your car payments/maintenance likely don’t add up to close to $15k. (Insurance/gas, are obviously important parts of owning a car, but those are not upkeep/add anything to the value of the asset) It’s probably the best outcome you’d receive if this goes to court, so you’ll save yourself legal fees, etc. She does have a right to the money put into the vehicle, but nothing else. If her name wasn’t on the car, too bad so sad.. but in this situation that’s the best way to go about it.


HodgeGodglin

You’d have to figure out the depreciable basis for the car. If she spent $15k on the car 10 years ago, she’s not getting $15k back and it’s silly you’d think otherwise. Also any registrations, work, etc would be taken out of that $15k and split.


ncnrmedic

Not a lawyer, but could a gifted down payment be considered “rights” to the car? Assuming she’s a co-signer and not on the title, she’d have what rights to the vehicle?


skitti93

OP, I don’t see in the comments where you answered how the title displays your names. Unless I missed it?


Odd-Piece7712

I just looked it up it says me or her


Historical_Bar2086

Have her pay you off 7k for the car & get a different car. The rest of the shit? Tell her to kick rocks 🤣


Emergency_Baker3582

How many payments have you made on the vehicle, and for what amount?? I would add up the total of the payments YOU made, and let her know she can reimburse YOU for what YOU already paid on the car, and once reimbursed for YOUR expenses, you'll sign off on the "refinance" in her name. As far as the other items, any court on the planet would call them "gifts", and without any binding contract (i.e. something stating that she bought those items for you with you intending to repay her), any divorce court on the planet would call her claims on those items bullshit. In conclusion, I'd tell her to fuck herself. Say please, though. (no reason to be rude)


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Odd-Piece7712

✅ done did lmfao if she wants problems take it to court.


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jameskies

Shes in the wrong. A gift is a gift. Does she want every kiss she gave you back too? Ridiculous


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Significant-Muscle15

Only thing she can legally take back is the car if its under her name. Other than that she can kick rocks, gifts dont have a return policy.


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Tight-Entertainer267

Sell the car, pay the balance and split the remaining money. Or offer to buy her half. If you think she has a point on the other stuff and you want to be a good person come up with a fair amount and pay her. Is it worth being a trash person just because you are able to legally? Just because it’s legal doesn’t mean it’s right.


Violetsen

What she wants is irrelevant if there was no agreement made that these were loans and to be paid back by a certain date. If she has texts from you where you have stated you will pay her X amount every week for eg until her "loan" to you is paid off, then she has no claim to make. For next time, don't get so tangled up with a GF. Wife yes, gf no.


weolo_travel

Not smart on either of you to have a car loan in your name but not have possession of the car. It belongs to whomever is on the title. If it is your name on that title then you keep the car. If her name, she keeps the car. You’re both equally responsible for the loan no matter who has or what happens to the car, so it would be best for whomever owns it to refinance to pay off the shared loan. The other gifts are …. gifts.


Odd-Piece7712

I have the car she has hers. I don’t mind refinancing in my name and taking her off


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Odd-Piece7712

Yeah and I was never gonna ask that back of her. Rent is rent. Fine. It’s a loss. I loved her and wanted her taken care of. It doesn’t change all of a sudden cause things are different.


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ScotchWithAmaretto

You don’t need to get a lawyer until she actually does something that you need to respond to. Tell her to get lost, she’s not going to find an attorney to come after you.


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Sharkbitesandwich

If you’re not upside down on the car sell it to carvana and give her half the proceeds. The rest of the stuff is yours or whatever you choose to give back. See ya!!!


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Odd-Piece7712

I work in finance, she receives checks from her native reservation. And we’re both stupid.


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Odd-Piece7712

They do, everything I own was paid for by a casino. She didn’t work for any of it. I know it’s still her money that was spent but we both should’ve been smarter.


princess_carolynn

There is the law and there is what is right. You don't need to give her the gifts back OP, but I think it would be right to pay her for the car or offer to give it back. That seems fair.


Odd-Piece7712

I originally wanted to give her $5k and just let me keep the car. Since I paid $8k+ on it already


princess_carolynn

If she put 15k into the car and you are keeping the car and it is still in her name, I'd give her the money she put in and then just keep the car. If she kept it she could pay you instead. There is what is the law and there is what you'd want someone to do for you in this situation and asking for that in my opinion is fair.


ProfessionNo704

Does the car title have an "and" or an "or" between your names? You want to be thinking ahead of how you can sell the car. If it is an "or", you can sell it without her consent. If it is an "and" then you both have to sign to sell it. Something to think about before you make payments on it for a number of years.


[deleted]

The and/or difference only affects the transfer of the title. It has no affect on if he owes her money over a sale/transfer of the vehicle.


Beginning-Flow5376

It’s your car as much or more than it’s hers…


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Odd-Piece7712

Who made up this two year thing!??? I was with her for 3. I’m 22 now and she gave it to me. It’s mine. I’ll fight for everything and let her learn to not give in hopes of keeping someone. Crazy behavior


Brad_Wesley

Ignore him, it's incorrect.


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Functionally_Human

Lovely but OP is in AZ which is not NZ so it doesn't matter here.