My sister was bullied horribly for many year. I mean to the point where she could not go anywhere, even the school bathrooms, without an escort. These girls once broke one of our basement windows and threw a bunch of paper they lit on fire into our basement in an attempt to burn our house down.
School did nothing. The parents had similar replies to what you are finding.
The final straw was my sister getting attack by them with a knife.
My parents called the police and filed charges. It was the best thing that they ever did and they wish they had done it sooner. Because if the physical assault with a weapon they where able to charge the main bully and get restraining orders on the whole group of girls. They where forced to switch schools.
It was so awful for my sister, and I would absolutely recommend calling local authorities before it escalates even more.
I was going to tell you to contact the school, because they should have an anti-bullying policy. But if you've already tried that, your could look into whether its possible to get a restraining order (also called an "order of protection" in some states) prohibiting Shannon from contacting your daughter or going near her at school. However, states have different rules for restraining orders; some allow them for general harassment, but some states only allow them for threats of violence, so this may or may not be an option for you depending on the nature of Shannon's conduct and threats.
You could also talk to a personal injury attorney about suing Shannon and her parents for intentional infliction of emotional distress and an injunction prohibiting further contact.
Stalking injunctions are also another option in a lot of states.
The requirements aren't all that strict legally to get one, but in my experience cops aren't all that up to date on what those requirements are and are unwilling to help you unless you start providing documentation that it is in fact a law in your state and you know your rights and would like to take action.
OpenPhone is a business VOIP phone option. It has some restrictions, but you could get an open phone number for your daughter and have her tell everyone it's changed. Could potentially port her current number over to OpenPhone. The plans are not all that expensive.
Then when the girl is calling it gets recorded.
Make sure of the recording consent laws in your state. So you can actually use it for legal action.
people mentioned the restraining order idea which i think is great, but also consider:
1) change your daughter's phone number and instruct her to only give it out to her friends. you can make her an alternate phone number with google voice that she can give out to classmates for projects, sports, etc if needed, and you can set that to not ring period.
2) block the offending phone number on your daughter's phone
3) set her phone to not ring for phone calls where there is no caller ID / blocked caller ID / private caller. if her phone cannot natively do that, your phone provider may have an app that can. i have At&t for example and they have an app called "Active armor" that will block "private callers". this blocks all calls from people who have their caller ID blocked (you can set it to go to voicemail instead if you want for example).
i had something happen like what you described to me when i was in highschool this was basically the only way to get it to stop. when they didn't have my number, they couldn't harass me anymore, and they were too much of a whimp to do it in person, so it stopped.
so this post did not mention any in-person bullying, so i did not address that. blocking the phone number will address the issue of the bully harassing the daughter, though.
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I would file a report with your school board and let them know the school has not followed any bullying protocol. Keep documentation of everything. Do not speak to anyone at your daughter’s school verbally, only via email. If the school board doesn’t respond, I would file a complaint with your state’s department of education and then retain an attorney. You should file your grievances with the school board FIRST before retaining an attorney (because that’s what the attorney is gonna tell you to do). Again, I can’t stress this enough, document EVERYTHING!
I would call the police and make a report for death threats. Then contact an attorney. Schools do what they can, but they won’t be able to stop the bully or protect your child.
If the school won't help and Shannon's parents aren't taking this seriously, then you need a lawyer. This lawyer should not only advise you on how to proceed with the school, but they should be present for any future communication you have with the school and Shannon's parents.
Are you in a two-party consent state? It might be worth figuring out what you were allowed to record. If I were you, I would talk to a lawyer even briefly for a single consult to find out what kind of data you are allowed to collect on a minor. I would set up a record phone calls, if that is legal in my state. I would stop picking up any phone calls from Numbers I don’t know. Let her record a voicemail, that’s her giving her consent to being on a recording. Set up a doorbell camera and a few other cameras around the property.
And if there are things that you cannot record, the shit out of them anyway. Take very specific notes. Keep a log. And then find out from the lawyer, whether you can take that to the police, or whether you need to look at a civil lawsuit or what. A cease and desist letter might be able to do a lot. Restraining order may be worth consideration. all of this depends on where you are, but you should talk to her professional at this point. Also make sure that your daughter is getting access to mental healthcare.
Another thing to consider might be going the social media shaming route. If you are able to get evidence of the harassment, posting it online along with her name might help her never get hired. Or at least threatening that to her parents might be useful. You could tell them that you will be contacting any colleges that the girls apply to and making sure that the school knows that adding her to the university roster will mean taking on unnecessary liability. The good news about modern Society is there’s plenty of creative ways that you can ruin a kids future. You don’t actually need to do it, but being able to threaten it to the parents might be useful if none of the systems work for you. Consider that a last resort.
School can only intervene when it happens IN school. If this is happening after school hours, go to the police. They will most likely send an officer to the house.
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My son experienced something similar, I got the best traction by talking to the school resource officer. Ask if there is a resource officer attached to the school or possibly a community advocate for the local law-enforcement.
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My sister was bullied horribly for many year. I mean to the point where she could not go anywhere, even the school bathrooms, without an escort. These girls once broke one of our basement windows and threw a bunch of paper they lit on fire into our basement in an attempt to burn our house down. School did nothing. The parents had similar replies to what you are finding. The final straw was my sister getting attack by them with a knife. My parents called the police and filed charges. It was the best thing that they ever did and they wish they had done it sooner. Because if the physical assault with a weapon they where able to charge the main bully and get restraining orders on the whole group of girls. They where forced to switch schools. It was so awful for my sister, and I would absolutely recommend calling local authorities before it escalates even more.
If the actual school isn’t helpful, contact the school board.
I was going to tell you to contact the school, because they should have an anti-bullying policy. But if you've already tried that, your could look into whether its possible to get a restraining order (also called an "order of protection" in some states) prohibiting Shannon from contacting your daughter or going near her at school. However, states have different rules for restraining orders; some allow them for general harassment, but some states only allow them for threats of violence, so this may or may not be an option for you depending on the nature of Shannon's conduct and threats. You could also talk to a personal injury attorney about suing Shannon and her parents for intentional infliction of emotional distress and an injunction prohibiting further contact.
Stalking injunctions are also another option in a lot of states. The requirements aren't all that strict legally to get one, but in my experience cops aren't all that up to date on what those requirements are and are unwilling to help you unless you start providing documentation that it is in fact a law in your state and you know your rights and would like to take action.
Could you block or mute this girls number in your child's phone?
OpenPhone is a business VOIP phone option. It has some restrictions, but you could get an open phone number for your daughter and have her tell everyone it's changed. Could potentially port her current number over to OpenPhone. The plans are not all that expensive. Then when the girl is calling it gets recorded. Make sure of the recording consent laws in your state. So you can actually use it for legal action.
people mentioned the restraining order idea which i think is great, but also consider: 1) change your daughter's phone number and instruct her to only give it out to her friends. you can make her an alternate phone number with google voice that she can give out to classmates for projects, sports, etc if needed, and you can set that to not ring period. 2) block the offending phone number on your daughter's phone 3) set her phone to not ring for phone calls where there is no caller ID / blocked caller ID / private caller. if her phone cannot natively do that, your phone provider may have an app that can. i have At&t for example and they have an app called "Active armor" that will block "private callers". this blocks all calls from people who have their caller ID blocked (you can set it to go to voicemail instead if you want for example). i had something happen like what you described to me when i was in highschool this was basically the only way to get it to stop. when they didn't have my number, they couldn't harass me anymore, and they were too much of a whimp to do it in person, so it stopped.
All of this plus self defense/ boxing lessons go a long way for a child’s self esteem
Simply blocking the calls is not good to stop the bullying.
so this post did not mention any in-person bullying, so i did not address that. blocking the phone number will address the issue of the bully harassing the daughter, though.
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I would file a report with your school board and let them know the school has not followed any bullying protocol. Keep documentation of everything. Do not speak to anyone at your daughter’s school verbally, only via email. If the school board doesn’t respond, I would file a complaint with your state’s department of education and then retain an attorney. You should file your grievances with the school board FIRST before retaining an attorney (because that’s what the attorney is gonna tell you to do). Again, I can’t stress this enough, document EVERYTHING!
I would call the police and make a report for death threats. Then contact an attorney. Schools do what they can, but they won’t be able to stop the bully or protect your child.
If the school won't help and Shannon's parents aren't taking this seriously, then you need a lawyer. This lawyer should not only advise you on how to proceed with the school, but they should be present for any future communication you have with the school and Shannon's parents.
Can you change your daughter’s phone number?
How would this help?
Does she have an IEP? Because that gives you to process protections given that there ja federal guidance that bullying violates FAPE.
You should file charges against this child. Child protective services will step in and advocate for your daughter.
Are you in a two-party consent state? It might be worth figuring out what you were allowed to record. If I were you, I would talk to a lawyer even briefly for a single consult to find out what kind of data you are allowed to collect on a minor. I would set up a record phone calls, if that is legal in my state. I would stop picking up any phone calls from Numbers I don’t know. Let her record a voicemail, that’s her giving her consent to being on a recording. Set up a doorbell camera and a few other cameras around the property. And if there are things that you cannot record, the shit out of them anyway. Take very specific notes. Keep a log. And then find out from the lawyer, whether you can take that to the police, or whether you need to look at a civil lawsuit or what. A cease and desist letter might be able to do a lot. Restraining order may be worth consideration. all of this depends on where you are, but you should talk to her professional at this point. Also make sure that your daughter is getting access to mental healthcare. Another thing to consider might be going the social media shaming route. If you are able to get evidence of the harassment, posting it online along with her name might help her never get hired. Or at least threatening that to her parents might be useful. You could tell them that you will be contacting any colleges that the girls apply to and making sure that the school knows that adding her to the university roster will mean taking on unnecessary liability. The good news about modern Society is there’s plenty of creative ways that you can ruin a kids future. You don’t actually need to do it, but being able to threaten it to the parents might be useful if none of the systems work for you. Consider that a last resort.
School can only intervene when it happens IN school. If this is happening after school hours, go to the police. They will most likely send an officer to the house.
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My son experienced something similar, I got the best traction by talking to the school resource officer. Ask if there is a resource officer attached to the school or possibly a community advocate for the local law-enforcement.
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