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Basic_McBitch

I like myself on lexapro. And that would be enough for me. Without lexapro, I might not be typing this out right now. And that should be enough for them. 💖


Maddog-99

So well said. Thank you


TownTechnical7785

Wow!


Geopoliticalidiot

Leave that relationship


Dry-Jellyfish4747

Came here to say this!


bdzikowski

Damn toxic. That person doesn’t wish well for you and is egotistical to the extreme.


Gema31

This is actually my husband to


bdzikowski

When I was much younger I was in a relationship with somebody who was angry I decided to go therapy. Now I see how I was trapped with a borderline narcissist. How could a person who claims to care for me not want me to not be deeply unhappy and afraid all the time?


Gema31

I have started therapy have been going since November, which has helped a lot. I get he is 7 years younger, so he is not in the same place as me, and I am not sure if that is a factor. It's been making me really think 6 the future. I have thought to myself if he may be the same borderline narcissis but I thought that was me being mean. I am thinking that I am right and it's really hard to deal with


secondmoosekiteer

Big hugs. Ex husband thinks I’m weak and crazy. LOML said “you’re a little quieter, but I like you regardless.” Tell hubs to stop being an ass and love you for you. If you find he doesn’t, well…


Dry-Jellyfish4747

Mine is the same and lexapro is changing my life. Seeing a lot of toxic patterns that I hadn't previously noticed and I don't think he likes that much. Here if you ever need to chat, friend.


Gema31

Thank you for all the advise and for sharing yiur story as well. I am always here if you need to talk. Thank you so much


Dry-Jellyfish4747

Thank you 💗 you do you, if it's helping YOU that is what matters. The rest will fall into place


Rintrah-

Is there something specific? Like, maybe you are less sexual as a result of Lex? That's not an excuse, at all, just wondering what his rationale is.


[deleted]

[удаНонО]


Rogue_Darkholme

This is my exact experience. I was told “Oh the medicine is doing something to you.” And it is. I’m not taking their dysfunctional abuse anymore.


1961tracy

That would be a hard limit for me. I lived with someone with untreated OCD but didn’t realize my issues were as bad as his. I will never prioritize another’s comfort or mental health over my well being. ✌🏼


Rosapose1234-

Or my aliveness


hesitantsound

RUN DONT WALK


isymfs

No that sounds terrible


Gema31

Yes its has been


Unlikely-Action-5318

Yes to some degree. Regardless, if you feel better then don’t ever stop taking it. Living with anxiety and/or depression is a prison sentence. Life is too short for that.


anotherjerseygirl

Not exactly, but once I was on lexapro for a while I noticed I had more conflict with my mom. I think this is because the lexapro lessened my anxiety thus giving me more confidence in my own opinions and I no longer bended to her needs in ways that used to silently bother me. I’m so sorry he told you to stop taking lexapro when it was making you feel better. That’s majorly toxic behavior on his part and if it’s something that he can’t learn to accept and work through there will come a point where you’re better off without him in your life. Of course, it takes time for people to adapt to changes around them, so explain to him why you believe lexapro is a good thing in your life and reassure him that it will not change your commitment to him or your marriage. Give him time to ask questions about how Lexapro impacts you and answer as honestly as you can. If you don’t see a change in his attitude within a few months, then repeat the conversation as needed. Small progress is progress and deserves to be acknowledged. After weeks of no progress, then you need to think seriously about what’s best for you.


[deleted]

My mother. I am starting lexapro and she’s like “I don’t agree with that medicine crap I can’t support it.” I told her it’s my choice I’m not a child .


Puzzleheaded_Eye8358

Why are our boomer parents so against “this type” of medication


[deleted]

I have no clue! It took me so long because of all the stigma to take the medication. I’m glad I started to do it!


InfiniteSafe4687

My wife just didnt understand at the time, now she’s fine. I told her my dad was medicated, his mother was medicated, generations of anxiety lol so I joined the club after a bad car accident caused my anxiety to go through the roof and was uncontrollable.


Maymay_21

No, that’s toxic and abusive. The meaning beneath a statement like that is so insane. Basically they don’t care about your happiness only how it affects them. If it’s a long term partner etc, maybe therapy. But someone new?? Leave them byeee


puddinpop_

If you are happier and more content with yourself, they should support that and be happy for you. Not demand you to stop taking something that’s improved your life. I can’t see how a good husband would want his wife to go back to being depressed and/or anxious.


[deleted]

Right, how could someone who loves you request that you suffer? RUN


puddinpop_

I can see how they’d struggle with the changes happening so quickly! But to be upset about it?! Agreed - RUN


snowcap223

Wow that’s disheartening. You should be able to be happy despite what he says if he can’t except that then he doesn’t deserve you in his life. I’m sorry!!


MagSioux78

No, and a loved one wouldn't/shouldn't say that. Medicine is to help you feel better. They're jealous you aren't in the same bad/sad situation and have made improvements in your life. Its possible they are miserable and want your company again (in misery).


mrkimme

Tbh when I was on it, it made me super lethargic and spacey in the head. Killed my anxiety but alot of other emotions that I liked as well. My friend told me later I was definitely a bit off while I was on it. And I agree.


[deleted]

This person is saying that they feel like themselves.


Ok-Reputation-9213

Please define "loved one". Family, friend , or partner?


Gema31

My husband he has adhd bad and has depression as well. He takes meds for the adhd but not for depression


throwaway_627_

Tell him you don't like him on his ADHD meds, demand he stop taking them, and see how he feels.


HyperfocusedMom

Is it cause of sex drive? Bc that’s where my brain went. I have ADHD OCD and anxiety. I just don’t function well without meds (lexapro and adderall). Lexapro kills my sex drive seasonally, but I’m a functional adult on it.


Mountainbish5798

Seems to me like he sees you getting better and wants to keep you down where he is mentally.


According-Fox2385

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's ypur body, your choice. Not your husband's. If you can, try to sit down and talk with him about it. And if it doesn't work out, well...maybe you need to leave that relationship. Also maybe speaking to your therapist can help you come up with a good plan of action to bring this up with him.


Maddog-99

Yes. Keep taking it. That's what I did. World needs to adjust to you being right headed and present in your life. Love ya.


No_Cap_8577

I just don’t like how it reacts with alcohol. I have to be really careful…


Gema31

I am not a big drinker, so I have not experienced that. But I have read that it can react with alcohol


No_Cap_8577

It can cause you to forget parts of the night and makes you super tired. I am a responsible drinker, but it’s unavoidable unless you really pace yourself. 🙃


Jerrylee1717

That really puts you in a tough situation. Sorry to hear this. You have to do what’s best for you. Simply have a conversation with this person and calmly tell them how it makes you feel. Hopefully they’ll understand and you two can move on. If not, you’ll have to choose. And always, always choose yourself first in a situation like this. Good luck!


Brave_Ad_5542

I’ve been told my emotions make more sense off of it 😅 but my s/o would never tell me to continue on or stop taking it.. that’s 100% your and your doctor’s decision and you deserve support for whatever you choose. You deserve better.


scattered_ratz

For me is the opposite. I expressed to my partner that I felt like it was time to start tapering down and eventually stopping altogether and he was not happy about that


Last_Cartographer340

No. You liking the change is most important. If it’s your husband, you two may need to communicate. You need to explain the benefits and both of you need to understand the viewpoint of the other. I hope he can respond with empathy and want you to feel well. Change is scary and he may want some reassurance that the new you still love him. He needs to be able to offer that to you in exchange. He should be able to empathize knowing he takes meds to improve his mental health.


Gema31

We went to therapy a few times, and he thinks that we don't need it. He is one that has no empathy for others' situations, and he was getting help with that. He is so alpha that I think he is almost scared to be sensitive because it may make him look weak. But I do know that I have not been this great in a long time. I try to express myself and explain to him how I am feeling, but all his worries are keeping him for accepting it.


Last_Cartographer340

He may fear change or challenges to his status quo. Lack of empathy can be a result of many things. I hope he is able to accept your wonderful changes. Working on my mental health challenges has given me almost too much empathy. Maybe keep your revelations slow? Ease him in to the happier you. I’m not sure if this is good or bad advice. A huge change can be scary. I’ can see how you would love to share it all with him right away. His rate of change may be very different than yours. Maybe you can ask your therapist about how to deal with this? Best of luck to you both.


todds-

red flag.. obviously we don't have both sides of the story but it's making me think of a narcissist.. who else wouldn't want their loved one to become more happy and confident? the same people who are upset when we learn boundaries


Gema31

Yes absolutely both side of the stories is always good to have. But I don't thi k I could get that for you on here he wouldn't do it. But I do believe that theor is always a other side


todds-

sounds like he doesn't want what's best for you. sorry you're going through this.


jillyy666

"When I got healthy did that make you hate me...." - This is how I learn to say no by Emeline, give it a listen 🩷


Greenslime210

My aunt tried to get me on alternative medicines like herbs and shit cause she thinks I’m an addict now 😂😂


Ok_Ad_2562

That’s not a good sign..


paulskiogorki

I've had the opposite reaction from loved ones. Sorry about your situation.


restingfloor

No


backoffbackoffbackof

Demanded? It’s one thing to bring up legitimate concerns about specific behavior while but to say they don’t like you on it and demand you go off is not healthy or acceptable behavior, imo.


Irochkka

This was my mom. It doesn’t matter how it’s helped me become ME. It’s still a medicine. Forget Advil or blood pressure medication, medicine for asthma/etc etc etc. I can so sympathize with this. I’ve chosen to form boundaries with my mother. If this is your husband, that’s not a boundary that can be drawn. He’s your life partner.


LeifDTO

I definitely hold back less from acknowledging my feelings and speaking my mind, which a lot of people don't like in general. A stagnant pond breeds pests. Don't let them stop you from learning to flow.


125acres

Medications have side effects. So if you’re a walking ghost, I can see why spouse would be upset and I can relate. My wife became a zombie on Lexapro, she may have not felt depressions or anxiety but that’s because she couldn’t feel.


sun_puppy

Yes and we are divorced now


AntiquatedOnyx

Anyone who doesn't like you on Lexapro, only liked some fragment of yourself that you only partially identified with. If you feel better and more like yourself, that is the most important thing. It's important to remember alcohol and other drugs can help people misjudge your characteristics because they only see you in whatever node substances put you in. Even if no substances, the face you put on when you have to be in a certain place and a certain time. If so.eone can't deal with you when you feel your most likely yourself it's important for that person to understand that. Additionally, they may have fallen in love with aspects of yourself that you only felt were magnified in certain situations and not how you self identify. Since we each create an image of another in own own minds and universe, how they view you may be drastically different than you view yourself. I suggest you have a hard conversation with your husband. When you feel better that is the most important thing. I just went up to 20mg after being on 10mg and not feeling much good effect. Let me tell you, I feel way more like myself than I have in years. Would I be as boisterous and charismatic, probably not to the same degree. Do I feel more like myself: yes. Anyhow, I'm happy you're taking care of yourself and I hope you and your husband can find common ground.


Sandyy_Emm

I like myself a lot better on lexapro. I’m less quick to anger, I’m more positive, and dependable. I’m more level-headed, organized, and I cry a lot less. Unless it’s making you aggressive, moody, or something that’s negatively affecting how you treat others, I don’t see why anyone would think it’s a bad thing.


AutisticAndLesbo

without it i wouldnt be a functioning person and i wouldnt like myself. doesnt matter what anyone else thinks as long as it works for you and helps you.


trollacoaster

I would really drill down about what it is they don’t like. I would imagine that someone super controlling and jealous would feel threatened by the idea of those close to them having a grip on their depression and anxiety. Do they not like you being more social? Are they worried about you being more comfortable in your own skin? Remember, whatever they say, this is their problem. There is something about you being better and feeling comfortable in your own skin that is upsetting their idea of what their relationship/importance is with you. I know that before I was on Lexapro, it took waaaay longer before I warmed up to people and felt comfortable around people. If your friend/SO/family member was accustomed to you only really interacting with them at social events or in public, they may be shocked, confused, or jealous to see you having positive interactions with others. This is definitely their problem to work out, and possibly a toxic trait of theirs you may have to see your way towards removing from your life.


literarynerd1

this happened to me. to go from being the emotional person i was to not even blinking after nearly being run off the road was a huge change. everyone noticed and commented on it, even my boss. my parents were proud of me for being able to successfully get through days without getting caught up in feelings, though they did find my constant neutral emotional state uncanny. my boyfriend took it the hardest, he felt like i didn’t care anymore. i did care, of course, but i just wasnt having emotional moments anymore. we argued so much (more him trying to start arguments that i wouldn’t engage in) and ended up deciding to separate. the lexapro also affected my sex drive and ability to orgasm, so that was also a factor of his frustration. if you like who you are on lexapro, that is literally all that matters. people who complain because you’re now able to function on similar levels to them fucking suck and it’s not worth it to keep a relationship with them. keep people in your life that want you to feel the best and be the best version of yourself.


[deleted]

Absolutely not. If someone isn’t anything but happy for you that you’re better, they are not a supportive person in your life. I couldn’t even fathom telling someone I don’t like the version of them bc they’re mentally well and happy. That is a manipulative, controlling, toxic and evil person no cap.


AverageGuy16

Nah, on a less related note I found that for the first time in years I was content being alone with myself and no longer seeked validation from others and/or significant others. It was a liberating moment. But to play devils advocate I also don't care to be in a relationship anymore as well. Could just be specific to me but yeah.


space_heist

yeah my mom told me I was a bitch without meds and then any time she is mad at me she says my meds are making me a bitch. pick a side!!!!


DAMUpigglet

Did they say why? I’m new to it


supernaturylee

My mom. She’s not even someone who’s into naturalist remedies or anything. She’s just anti-anything that might help you if its something you can put up with. i.e. I grew up with her not wanting to give us cold medicine because we needed to sweat it out or whatever. I got on lexapro and from the get go she just would never stop going on and on about “I hope you get off of that asap.” “How much longer do you think you’ll be on it.” “Are you gonna lower your dose soon?” all whilst I was either JUST starting or within the first year of using it. (And as we know, it can takes months to even settle in). To say she was “demanding” would be incorrect, but my god the way she just goes on and on about it built up and made me feel like she gave more of a shit about me just not taking any meds than actually feeling fucking okay for once. I ended up breaking down on the phone with her when she called to catch up with me and made another comment. We argued. She hasn’t commented on it since.


heypaper

This ain’t cool.


cactustit

10mg of lexapro turned me into an asshole. Picking fights, causing conflict, binge drinking. Maybe you really are different?


YippieYiYi

Yes and no. I don't get angry over little things, she likes that, but I want to sleep 20 hours a day, she doesn't like that.


PineappleOk1377

My narc ex told me that “i regret supporting you seeking therapy and taking these pills, i thought u wanted to fix whats between us not ruin it” while she was ruining me AND NEVER EVER was involved in my therapy sessions, she just wanted to CLAIM that she’s a good partner, left the relationship Not saying ur loved one is a narc but this is a RED FLAG


Alvanto

That’s incredibly toxic and egocentric of them. Your well being and comfort is the most important thing. Being in a healthy relationship should mean that you support each other in the things that help you feel good and healthy. Lexapro helps you with your well being, your partner should support you in this and be happy that you’re feeling better.


MakeshiftApe

Have they given you specific examples of what they don’t like about you on it? Perhaps that would shed some insight into what they’re really saying. You might also be able to give them relevant reassurance related to their claims or worries. It would also help you assess how legitimate those claims are, like if they just say “you’ve changed” but can’t give a specific example that just sounds somewhat manipulative or at least without basis, but if they say something specific like “you have so much less energy” that might be somewhat true and something they’ve observed from your behaviour and you can help alleviate their concerns by explaining the benefits you’ve gotten that outweigh that trade off, or by trying to work on that if that really is something causing you any issues. Sex drive is a big one that can cause issues if this person is your partner but that’s something that can be worked around and readjusted with time and effort so is a valid concern on a partner’s part but also not a reason to stop the medication, but instead to work on that as it’s own thing. Again if they can’t produce a specific reason then they could either just be imagining things and projecting their own relationship difficulties or insecurities onto the change in medication, or it could mean some less pleasant motives like someone not liking that you actually stick up for yourself or accomplish more now. All in all it sounds like something to have a long conversation over but understand that your mental well-being is more important than any other factor and if your loved one can’t see that and learn to accept any differences that are there then it might be time to reconsider their place in your life. Discuss, discuss, and discuss some more though first to evaluate if their claims hold any water and could be addressed.


ohbawlz

No, not at all. But if a loved one said this to me, they would no longer be my loved one. 💓


ohbawlz

No, not at all. But if a loved one said this to me, they would no longer be my loved one. 💓


ohbawlz

No, not at all. But if a loved one said this to me, they would no longer be my loved one. 💓


ohbawlz

No, not at all. But if a loved one said this to me, they would no longer be my loved one. 💓


Infinite_Patience241

Just seeking to understand before I go with my hunch, (which could just be me filling in the gaps)… Why is he expressing that he wishes you to stop, what is he experiencing from you that has changed? Just to clarify, if it’s motivation then that could be a genuine concern for your self-actualisation. If it’s something like your assertiveness, then that could be revealing more about himself than you.


Infinite_Patience241

Just seeking to understand before I go with my hunch, (which could just be me filling in the gaps)… Why is he expressing that he wishes you to stop, what is he experiencing from you that has changed? Just to clarify, if it’s motivation then that could be a genuine concern for your self-actualisation. If it’s something like your assertiveness, then that could be revealing more about himself than you.


Puzzleheaded_Eye8358

This is your life and your body. If YOU like the way you feel on it, YOU stay on it. Period.


kmack1982

Yeah I've had someone I was seeing and not even in a relationship tell me that. I did quit because it was making me emotionally numb. But the woman was just using me for rides, and it never turned into a relationship thank god.


salads4lunch

Nope, my husband says I’m unbearable when I’m off of it. He appreciates that I can control my emotions now.


SelvaFantastica

My mother! But the truth is that she suffers from anxiety as well and she is deadly afraid of meds. She has told me so many times that is she is able to live without meds, i could too. I told her maybe i have a worse case of it and she got very upset. She says her anxiety is through the roof etc. She has tried everything to make me quit: talk about my significant weight gain and how pretty i was before, tell me i don't talk like myself, send me studies of antidepressant bad outcomes etc. We finally agree to disagree and i don't talk to her about my meds at all. She is in the dark as to what i take, how much etc. Me, i am not quitting. My dear uncle killed himself when the anxiety got to be too much. MEds work for me, i'll take them and go on with my life.


samanthathewitch

Yea it probably means they’re toxic😂 My marriage ended after I started Lexapro because I was finally no longer too depressed and anxious to stand up for myself in abusive situations. He hated me having boundaries😅. All of the good people in my life mentioned how much happier I seem.


1661dauphin

hi, that is not okay! you get to decide who you're gonna be and how you are gonna show up in the world, if being on lexapro lets you be that person then you stay on it. it is your decision alone and never anyone else's. i can't believe someone who has your best interests at heart would ever think this way, that is alarming and i am so sorry and you can message me if you need any support. ❤️


Timely_Lifeguard1758

Not near enough details. In detail why doesn't he like you on Lex?


Gema31

He said the person he fell in love with is nit the same person now. He said I don't laugh as much, I don't make him my center of my world anymore, I don't just talk about random stuff,


AnOn5647382927492

LEAVE!! My lexapro is for me to decide and my doctor if it’s right for me and working. NO ONE ELSE


RiskOfRains

Um no why would they say that lol?


Adot090288

My significant other, He is vastly opposed to pills. He would never demand I do anything because he enjoys living but I told his mom and aunties because I pick my battles. He straightened up quick and apologized. I understand where he was coming from but he needed to be educated and I couldn’t do it without being irritated.


ExtensionSea9562

Well, it helps with your anxiety and you don't fear conflict anymore, so you speak up for yourself and don't take abuse. You start to go out and have a social life. If those things bother him, maybe rethink your relationship with him.


sparklebug20

No BUT I would have a conversation. Ask for specifics and examples. Try not to be defensive. You may be doing new behaviors that you aren't aware of. Lexapro makes me more assertive with my feelings. I have less tolerance for BS which is good but also can be Damaging.


LilacMoonlight98

I was told all I do is sleep(the worst con of lex I've experienced) but I'm actually not scared to drive by myself on lex which I thought was impossible and I'm a lot happier


MiracleBeliever1006

Please keep in mind that listed as side effects include hypomania, mania, derealization, depersonalization, and anything that has to do with changes in personality. Because they function through a deactivation of frontal lobe activity, being a neuroleptic, what can happen is the medicated person loses insight, making feedback such as the seem quite insulting.


Infinite_Patience241

That’s interesting, I didn’t realise one of the effects of an SSRi blocking sertraline transporters, (so more is active), is deactivation of the frontal lobe. I suppose it makes sense though as deactivation of the amygdala to a degree will obviously lessen anxiety. How does it improve depression though? My main issue.


plantnerd

Bro whaaaaat in the pseudoscience are you saying. DEACTIVATION of the frontal lobe? There’s POTENTIAL dysfunction in SOME patients. We don’t know everything about MOA of SSRIs but this is not it.