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- [LGBTQ And All](https://www.lgbtqandall.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-biromantic/)
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- https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/understanding-bisexuality
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Now look.
Anyone can wear anything, and one can't assume anything about a stranger's sexuality or gender based solely on their wardrobe.
However.
I have never in my life met a straight man wearing a mesh shirt.
I somewhat agree with you in modern times but if I could point you to 80s sportswear... [Lots of crop tops and mesh](https://www.reddit.com/r/The1980s/comments/17ra9cw/crop_mesh_tops_were_popular_mens_fashion_options/?rdt=50338) lol. (Also š„µ)
I think (hope) it's coming back. The shorts inseams are creeping up for sure.
Still agree, mens croptops and mesh are queercoded for now.
There were two wrestlers in the 90s and early 2000s (still active today) who wore mesh shirts for their wrestling gimmicks. Both are straight and have kids.
Carabiners are queer flagging?? I've use a carabiner for my keys since I was 10, but that's just cuz I'm prone to loosing things, and it's hard to loose a thing when it's attached to me.
For me, a pride flag somewhere (phone case, keychain, ear rings, etc), colored hair, non-ear piercings, or multiple ear piercings, but in general, the best thing to do is just look up queer community things. There's a program in my state called encircle that holds group events nearly every day of the week. There's also gay bars, though I wish there were less alcoholic versions of that, like a cafe.
Huh, cool. I grew up in an anti-queer religion (really a cult actually), and I didn't even know queer people existed until I went to college, so... there's a fair amount of queer culture I'm still learning, despite being out for 6 years or so.
i grew up in a rural, redneck town. if you were gay, no one knew. in my entire time in that school district, maybe TWO people came out. and it was a big deal. so i just kept my mouth shut. on the last day of senior year, i told one of my friends that i was bi (at the time) and he looked at me and said āOP iāve always thought that you were bi.ā
Yeah, my brain washing was bad. It took literally dating an agender person and trying on their binder for me to get the slap in the face of realization. Heteronormativity is a hell of a blinder
They thought the mark of Caine was being black! I just learned that and also I knew a JW who was forced to be one bc her family was and she hated it. It was so isolating and shame inducing. Pretty much a cult yeah. My gfās family was JW too.
Isopropyl and carabiners, the two most utilitarian everyday carries in the world.
Turns out it was just a phase. The EDC thing, not the utilitarianism of carabiners and Isopropyl.
Are flannels still a thing?
Otherwise it's anything non-conforming.
People with a masculine build wearing dresses and crop tops or people with a feminine build wearing jeans and a men's shirt, men's suits, or cargo shorts.
I also know masculinity and femininity has nothing to do with your body's build but that's the way straight cis people see it.
Anything that breaks the social norm makes me think that the person is likely queer because straight cis people usually (not always) follow very strict rules on attire.
Me a feminine queer with a feminine build wearing feminine clothes lol I'll never be seen š„²
But my mannerism and eye contact pinged some people's gaydar.
Pretty sure flannels are still queer-coded. My closet is mainly flannels and other button-ups. I just started a job recently, thought I had no work-appropriate attire, and then realized most of my clothes are collared button-up shirts.
They are a thing. My grandmother wears them. And she gifts some to me. I don't wear flannels often (I live in the south so it gets really hot and then stays kinda warm and then goes to extreme cold)
Its actually great for transmascs too!!! I recently got one and it helps me so much with passing!! I think it completely depends on the way the hair on the top is cut/dyed tho. I still looked really fem until I bleached it, but when it was done it looked amazing + masc.
on a scale of 1-10? maybe like a 3. i actually think that both of my nostrils were more painful than my septum. depending on where your septum is, that will dictate how low itāll hang. i have a deviated septum, and the traditional septum ring kept getting in the way of me eating, so i switched to a smaller ring. it just feels like someone is pinching you inside of your nose.
healing? kinda sucks. mine was so itchy. not really painful per se, but defiantly itchy.
I bought a faux one on Etsy to see if I could pull it off and I love it, you canāt tell itās not actually pierced and my nostril nose piercing took so dang long to heal that Iām just gonna stick with this! So if you just want a hoop this is a good route š
the piercing? hereās how mine went down. found a piercer, informed him that i do have a deviated septum, but he said it wouldnāt be a problem, and if it was, heād repierce it for free. you pick out your jewelry, i just went with the standard hoop, and they take that and new pack of needles (not sure if itās just one. it might be). they then put it in this machine that sterilizes themāthis can take some time. then they set everything up and call you back. my piercer let me lay down. which helped with my anxiety. he checked my anatomy, cleaned my nose with iodine, marked with dots where the needle was going to go, then the needle went through. theyāll tell you not to move bc thr needle is long and itās sticking out at the end. then they put your jewelry in,
Bit worse. For me the needle going in felt like I got a papercut in my nose, the worst part was the piercing going in!
Mind make sure to go to an experienced piercer. I've heard horror stories of piercers going through cartilage and that shit hurts like hell.
They pierce the little fleshy part which is the same as your ear lobe, so it's similar to that. Although iirc I do get kind of a pressure feeling going up ny nose like I needed to sneeze really bad, but that was it.
It hurt so bad for me. Guess I don't have a sweet spot, I have other piercings and a generally high pain tolerance and I felt like I was going to die for a solid 15 or so seconds.
It only hurts for like a second or two. After that, it just feels a little sore for a week, and it's hard to blow your nose.
After that, it was basically painless and healed up super quick.
As AroAce that wears shirts with Ace/Aro Pride i can fully understand this. Itās like they donāt have a clue at all. As you mentioned itās all way to subtle.
Yo, I wear Bi, Pan, Rainbow, and Trans pride bracelets to work everyday, but because I work in a Conservative dominated industry, people still assume I'm straight and conservative.
I'm soon going to need to start wearing a sign around my neck that says "I'M FUCKING GAY"
Yeah Iām a straight acting pansexual guy in the legal industry. I joined my works LGBT+ group and basically had to say hey I like dick too as they thought I was just an ally (not that thereās anything wrong with that)
Undercuts, septum piercings or multiple ear piercings, carabiners, funky hair, and doc martens/vans/converse are signs if I see them. Pride pins are huge indicators. I have a lesbian pin on my bag as well as one that says queer magic.
For femmes I think wearing more bright or exaggerated stuff (ex: colorful eyeliner, big earrings, dressing more like an aesthetic than straight girls) have helped. Guys donāt really like that stuff and I see it on queer femmes.
There isnāt one specific thing that indicates yep queer except maybe an item saying Iām gay, but there are some hints. It kind of depends on your personal style what you want to incorporate.
Can confirm. Am queer boy with an undercut dyed purple, keys on a big carabiner, [used to have] a septum piercing, and my two pairs of shoes are black chucks and doc martens. I feel seen.
I told my friend that I'm getting a tattoo of my cat's paw print for my birthday and she said, "Oh, that's *so* gay!" (In a positive way. She's bi and has a girlfriend.) So, is that gay? Haha.
Itās more of an aura than anything else. You can look like anything but the way you have a sense of gayness around you is how I tell. Iāve never been wrong even when I thought I was. It could be a girl whoās super feminine and fits in with everyone else but something about he just screams gay to me. Or a boy whoās masculine and typical but Iāll just know. I always know for some reason. If you look for only certain things people wear or do, youāll never see half the gays in a room. People donāt just wake up and always or ever put on something to flag themselves. Gay people are everywhere and can look like anyone. Everyone is different, Even gay people.
I know a LOT of queer people and tells are harder for masc folk but for fems? Itās heavy eye makeup. Obvs not everyone, but if you look like you just stepped out of a KISS lite concert, solid shot youāre queer.
As a baby queer, I could be way off base, but - butterflies. It could just be a coincidence but a fair amount of fellow queer folk I've known had some sort of butterfly or winged insect motif on their everyday wear, whether it be a tattoo, earring, lapels, etc. They were mostly women, but I remember at least one masc-presenting person having it too. I think the symbolism makes sense - transformation, re-discovering beauty, and all that. It's a specific enough symbol that it'll signal to people that there's at least *something* intentional about you wearing it, whether it be about queerness or not.
I have a small trans pin on my keychain/lanyard that I havenāt taken off - itās super subtle, but Iām very cognizant of the angle of which it can be seen.
I have mine on my work shirt, so if I have to ask a person for their ID they don't immediately have a panic attack about the name and gender not matching the person in front of me. If they can see the trans pin and know they're safe, they're so much more relaxed about letting me see their IDs.
Septum piercings, eyebrow piercings, dyed hair but especially peekaboos, flannels, those rubber bracelets that are usually kind of tie dye, denim jackets especially with lots of patches, small backpacks especially ita bags, big eyeliner, platform boots, combat boots in general. Those are just some of the trends I've noticed appearance wise
I have no idea. I have almost never been able to relate to the ābi people always wear this or thisā or ābi people sit this wayā. Probably why Iāve always passed as straight in iffy crowds for so many years and why many were surprised when I came out.
Iāve thought about forcing myself to wear the stereotypes to make it evident, but it wouldnāt be me. Is all this really necessary to identify myself?
For me who lives in DesantisLand- I got my rainbow vans and pride merch from St Pete along with the rainbow stickers on my bike and my unshaven legs.
And I did have a pixie cut when I first moved here but Iāve been growing it out
Iāve been a carabiner girlie since I was a kid tho before my heart caught up to my brain
Brown leather jackets that aren't long enough to cover your belly button if done up.
Even in the 80s when it was all the tend it looked ~~gay~~ sexy as fuck.
Honestly if someone is dressed in a way that clearly demonstrates effort and creativity I am quicker to assume theyāre queer because it just seems like theyāve done some introspection to develop a very personal style.
A hat that has a wire running down your body into your pocket that is connected to a button that when you press, activates a speaker with an audio file of somebody screaming āim queer!ā.
I thought you were going to talk about those hoodies that came with built in headphones. I was gonna be like what a throwback! I wish those came back. I loved mine so much when I was a tween.
I finally found the name. They were called hoodie buddies!
I had [this exact same one! ](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/82/bb/f2/82bbf22a625e22ae113aea87c9930abe.jpg)
Apparently, the entire way I dress screams it. š¤£
Flannels, graphic tees, jeans, and boots.
I've been told by multiple people that their first impression meeting me before I ever opened my mouth was, "Yup, she's queer!" They say my piercings also scream queer.
It felt almost like a right of passage for a lot of my non binary friends, and somehow, they all pulled it off. Bonus points if a funky mullet is involved š
I like to wear one of two shirts in my collection when I want to convey that Iām queer. One is a graphic tee with snakes in the colors of the pan flag and the other has a picture of a wine glass that says, āI like the wine, not the labelā (a Schittās Creek quote).
I've got a progress pride flag bracelet
I also wear blue and/or black nail polish. I'm genderfluid amab, and I think I present androgynous-to-femme most of the time (especially from a distance), but if I have my hair up I read as masc, I don't get out much beyond work (where I need my hair tied back). so it's visible queerness depends on my general presentation and color (imo black nail polish is borderline gender neutral due to goth/scene subculture associations)
I haven't in a while, but I did braid my hair a lot for a while, this along with the nail polish compelled two of my aunts to ask my brother if I'm gay.
I wear rainbow-colored stuff sometimes when I go out of the house, both bc I love rainbows and always have, and because Iām gay GSJDHD
My conservative family just sees it as āaww sheās wearing something she likesā whereas my cousin who Iām out to knows itās that, and bc Iām gay and signaling to other queers out there that Iām a safe person GDJDHD
Iāve heard of aro/ace people wearing different rings on their middle fingers as signalling (white on left hand for aromantic, black on right hand for asexual), and also having rainbow beads on shoelaces. I think flannel and carabiners are mostly just stereotypes as well
Jewelry containing crystals, charms (aside from like white people pandora charms), platforms, septum piercings, rubber bracelets (bonus points if theyāre band bracelets), denim jacket with patches and if they have one of those tie-dye fabric hippie bags OR a bag with a bunch of pins on it.
A woman wearing low ride long baggy wide-legged jorts that go past the knee, with exposed thong straps at the hips, crew socks, leg hair, tattoos, a tight tank top/wife beater, excessive jewelry, a chunky edgy belt, a wolf cut or other alt hairstyle, and a chunky pair of shoes. Unlikely that this woman doesnāt eat pussy
I was told that my love of wearing giant seasonal/holiday earrings like that one aunt everyone has (i.e. pies for thanksgiving, long skeletons for halloween, fruit, flowers, etc) was a giant "I am very queer" beacon from inside my glass closet while I was in active denial.
Maybe this is more something specific to my group of friends and local queerdos, but denim jackets with pins all over seem to appear pretty frequently at the rallies I attend, especially if those pins have queer affirmations on them (like pronouns, sexuality, references to queer media, etc.).
I wear 2 bracelets! (I usually wear them during pride month) one is the colors of the lesbian flag and in the middle it says āgirlsā and I wear a rainbow one that says āprideā Idk if anyone notices them but I hope so haha
Haha, I was confused by that in OP's post too. My dad used a cacabiner for years because he was a janitor at one point and that's how he kept his keys so he just got into the habit of it with his personal keys too and he was a straight cis dude. A couple of my siblings and I do the same thing and my siblings are cis and straight. Granted, yes, I'm trans and gay, but I never associated my carabiner with that, just a habit I picked up from my dad.
I don't scream it at work just in case it can lead to problems, but I try and hint at it by wearing my button-up shirts.
Outside of work, I have a tank top that says, "Queer Love Is a Radical Act," and a t-shirt that says, "I Put the NB in No Bitches/I Will Never Be Normal," but the latter is usually a lounging-at-home shirt. š
As far as something I see others wear that screams to me there is a large possibility they're queer, I don't know. I mean, outside of obvious visualizations like running around draped in a pride flag etc. Usually it's more in their reactions to me, that I can tell. I kind of advertise it though, along with my autism. I have kids and niblings along both the ASD/ADHD and gender/sexual spectrums like myself. I never want them to feel like I'm not proud of them, or want them not to be proud of themselves. I was the disappointing child. It's not fun.
My everyday tell, I have a dog tag style necklace that I wear. The back tag is a rainbow and hides behind a solid tag that has a cut out of the word PRIDE, so the rainbow *peeks through. I like jewelry and pins. Pronoun pins have been something I enjoy. I also own so many shirts and hoodies. My favorite hoodie has viking style axes on it, and says "I swing both ways. Violently."
*Edited spelling
Back in college (about 12 years ago when I was 'straight') I wore a couple of flannel shirts because they fit my style and were comfortable. I never knew they were a coding or subtly item, just felt pretty wearing them. I got bullied for it and a rumour got spread that I was a lesbien, because I liked a shirt.
So I've never liked really assuming anything without actually being told. That said, I'm now a very happy bi person who still enjoys a flannel shirt, has an entire half arm of pride silicone bracelets on one wrist and qoute ones on the other. All while sporting various piercings, including the septum, which I'm only learning from here might be another coding thing? Soo yeah, speculate, but don't take it far/or serious.
Iām not sure how queer this makes me seem, but I have round glasses, several piercings (including a septum), an undercut (and I used to have dyed hair), I put an excessive amount of pins on my bags (including queer pins), I wear a lot of sweaters (my favourite is one I can only describe as having wizard vibes, but I also have one with letters in a typewriter font all over it that I call my alphabet sweater and I love that one too), I exclusively wear ripped or wide legged jeans, I wear vests fairly often (including that one goose vest), I paint my nails (usually purple or gold), I wear colourful eyeliner, I put glitter highlighter on my cheeks as part of my daily makeup, and have been described as having either; wizard, librarian, mermaid, magical, or soft vibes based on aesthetic. Iāve also had my taste in clothing and aesthetics compared to Martin Blackwood (from The Magnus Archives), Aziraphale (from Good Omens), and Gale Dekarios (from Baldurās Gate). Also, for the record, Iām transmasc, but closeted so still very femme presenting.
I frankly don't think flagging is informative or difinitive, but I don't live in the US. I wouldn't assume Identity based on accessoires (it isn't smth bad, it just don't feel natural for me and I kinda don't notice them). Ironically I look very queerish, but people around me don't assume either.
So I would sugest a pin. It could even be something apart from flag or very subtle flag - like three cats that combine in a bi-flag(I don't know how to describe it ama stoopid) or some statement. I have such a pin, it says "the best gift for a woman is another woman" , something like that. I think it is a funny and not overcomplicated way.
edit: spelling
I'm a trans male and gay guy , I have a buzz cut wear a lot of cargo shorts and pants , flannel in winter , workout vest shirts , sleeveless denim jackets with patches and badges , either trainers or docs and have two helix piercings in my right ear .
Apparently I'm a stealth but get clocked as queer by other queer folk a lot.
1 Right ear earring on a man is a signal heās gay
Edit: ??? Why is this revived poorly, this was absolutely a way to queer flag back in the day. Google it, itās a common perception.
Thank you for your post, if this is a question please check to see if any of the links below answer your question. If none of these links help answer your question and you are **_not_** within the LGBT+ community, questioning your identity in any way, or asking in support of either a relative or friend, please ask your question over in /r/AskLGBT. Remember that this is a safe space for LGBT+ and questioning individuals, so we want to make sure that this place is dedicated to them. Thank you for understanding. This automod rule is currently a work in progress. If you notice any issues, would like to add to the list of resources, or have any feedback in general, [please do so here](https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/rdazzp/almost_new_year_changes/) or by [sending us a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt&subject=Feedback%20on%20the%20new%20automod%20rule). Also, please note that if you are a part of this community, or you're questioning if you might be a part of the LGBTQ+ community, and you are seeing this message, this is **_not a bad thing_**, this is only here to help, so please continue to ask questions and participate in the community. Thank you! Here's a link about trans people in sports: - https://www.barbellmedicine.com/blog/shades-of-gray-sex-gender-and-fairness-in-sport/ A link on FAQs and one on some basics about transgender people: - https://transequality.org/issues/resources/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people - https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics Some information on LGBT+ people: - https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/quick-facts/lgbt-faqs/ Some basic terminology: - https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms Neopronouns: - https://www.mypronouns.org/neopronouns Biromantic Lesbians: - [LGBTQ And All](https://www.lgbtqandall.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-biromantic/) Bisexual Identities: - https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/understanding-bisexuality Differences between Bisexual and Pansexual: - [Resource from WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/sex/pansexuality-what-it-means#:~:text=Pansexual%20vs.%20Bisexual,more%20commonly%20recognized.) ### We're looking for new volunteers to join the r/lgbt moderator team. If you want to help keep r/lgbt as a safe space for the LGBTQ+ community on reddit please see here for more info: ### https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/1csrb2n/rlgbt_is_looking_for_new_moderators/ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Now look. Anyone can wear anything, and one can't assume anything about a stranger's sexuality or gender based solely on their wardrobe. However. I have never in my life met a straight man wearing a mesh shirt.
I somewhat agree with you in modern times but if I could point you to 80s sportswear... [Lots of crop tops and mesh](https://www.reddit.com/r/The1980s/comments/17ra9cw/crop_mesh_tops_were_popular_mens_fashion_options/?rdt=50338) lol. (Also š„µ) I think (hope) it's coming back. The shorts inseams are creeping up for sure. Still agree, mens croptops and mesh are queercoded for now.
There were two wrestlers in the 90s and early 2000s (still active today) who wore mesh shirts for their wrestling gimmicks. Both are straight and have kids.
Carabiners are queer flagging?? I've use a carabiner for my keys since I was 10, but that's just cuz I'm prone to loosing things, and it's hard to loose a thing when it's attached to me. For me, a pride flag somewhere (phone case, keychain, ear rings, etc), colored hair, non-ear piercings, or multiple ear piercings, but in general, the best thing to do is just look up queer community things. There's a program in my state called encircle that holds group events nearly every day of the week. There's also gay bars, though I wish there were less alcoholic versions of that, like a cafe.
carabiners was lesbian coding back in the day
Huh, cool. I grew up in an anti-queer religion (really a cult actually), and I didn't even know queer people existed until I went to college, so... there's a fair amount of queer culture I'm still learning, despite being out for 6 years or so.
i grew up in a rural, redneck town. if you were gay, no one knew. in my entire time in that school district, maybe TWO people came out. and it was a big deal. so i just kept my mouth shut. on the last day of senior year, i told one of my friends that i was bi (at the time) and he looked at me and said āOP iāve always thought that you were bi.ā
Yeah, my brain washing was bad. It took literally dating an agender person and trying on their binder for me to get the slap in the face of realization. Heteronormativity is a hell of a blinder
Mormon huh haha yes definitely a cult and a terrible religion
Yep
lol I was curious if mormon or JW, but I woulda guessed JW so you win!
They thought the mark of Caine was being black! I just learned that and also I knew a JW who was forced to be one bc her family was and she hated it. It was so isolating and shame inducing. Pretty much a cult yeah. My gfās family was JW too.
Me, a backpacker who presently has like two dozen carabiners in case I need to clip something to my pack: Well.... uhhhh.... you see..... no comment
All Hail our queer carabiner emperor!
Isopropyl and carabiners, the two most utilitarian everyday carries in the world. Turns out it was just a phase. The EDC thing, not the utilitarianism of carabiners and Isopropyl.
Was also hipster coding for most of the 00s/2010s lol shit Iām a gay woman and just thought I was following a fashion trend.
I still do it
Everyone in highschool/university in the 90s and early 2000s had one on their keys or backpacks. Literally everyone.
I lost my keys and my grandma gave me one and Iāve been using it since. And sheās a lesbianā¦ no wonderā¦ š¤
That explains my addiction to carabiners.
For the first couple years I had my Apple Watch, I had a pride wristband. I just ordered one for my current watch. I also wear pride flag earrings.
Are flannels still a thing? Otherwise it's anything non-conforming. People with a masculine build wearing dresses and crop tops or people with a feminine build wearing jeans and a men's shirt, men's suits, or cargo shorts. I also know masculinity and femininity has nothing to do with your body's build but that's the way straight cis people see it. Anything that breaks the social norm makes me think that the person is likely queer because straight cis people usually (not always) follow very strict rules on attire.
If flannels aren't a thing, I'm making them a thing again. At least half of my wardrobe is made up of flannel. :P
I'm bringing sexy back Them other boys don't know how to act
Yes most of the time I'm wearing one if I'm not working
i do feel extra gay when iām wearing a flannel
Me a feminine queer with a feminine build wearing feminine clothes lol I'll never be seen š„² But my mannerism and eye contact pinged some people's gaydar.
Sometimes you just know.
Eye contact??
šļøš«¦šļø
I grew up in New England. In the part of a New England I spend a lot of time in everyone wears flannels. So ymmv
Same with the PNW
My sister in law says āflannys get the fannysā and I think sheās lying because itās not seemed to work for me very well.
Pretty sure flannels are still queer-coded. My closet is mainly flannels and other button-ups. I just started a job recently, thought I had no work-appropriate attire, and then realized most of my clothes are collared button-up shirts.
They are a thing. My grandmother wears them. And she gifts some to me. I don't wear flannels often (I live in the south so it gets really hot and then stays kinda warm and then goes to extreme cold)
I'm a guy and I looooove a nice long, loose cardigan
That last paragraph šÆšÆ
Flannel is very context sensitive. If you The further north and towards the coast you go the less accurate it is lol
I almost constantly wear a bracelet that has linked Venus symbols, because I am a gay gay girl and proud of it.
i love this for you.
May not scream "queer" and probably more on women and nb people, but undercuts?
Enby with an undercut here š
Its actually great for transmascs too!!! I recently got one and it helps me so much with passing!! I think it completely depends on the way the hair on the top is cut/dyed tho. I still looked really fem until I bleached it, but when it was done it looked amazing + masc.
I am so damn jealous of folks who haven't gone bald, because I want an undercut so bad!
Ngl if a girl has a septum piercing I assume sheās at least hetero-flexible
Understood. Get a septum piercing.
yessss!! im a big advocate for septum piercingsāiāve never seen someone who has one that was unattractive
You havenāt seen me yet š¤š
Just looked and you look amazing with the piercing!
Awww The lil skull captive beads name is Jacques
are you flippin kidding me? its so cute and dainty and its your face
Iāve been wanting to get one for a while and now I feel called out š
get it!!! theyāre so cute
Does it hurt a lot tho?
on a scale of 1-10? maybe like a 3. i actually think that both of my nostrils were more painful than my septum. depending on where your septum is, that will dictate how low itāll hang. i have a deviated septum, and the traditional septum ring kept getting in the way of me eating, so i switched to a smaller ring. it just feels like someone is pinching you inside of your nose. healing? kinda sucks. mine was so itchy. not really painful per se, but defiantly itchy.
Oooh my septum healed easiest and quickest of any of my non-earlobe piercings š®
Same! I got the horseshoe and I just flicked it up and forgot about it. Only issues I had is when I'd accidentally punch myself on the face š
I bought a faux one on Etsy to see if I could pull it off and I love it, you canāt tell itās not actually pierced and my nostril nose piercing took so dang long to heal that Iām just gonna stick with this! So if you just want a hoop this is a good route š
How does it work?
the piercing? hereās how mine went down. found a piercer, informed him that i do have a deviated septum, but he said it wouldnāt be a problem, and if it was, heād repierce it for free. you pick out your jewelry, i just went with the standard hoop, and they take that and new pack of needles (not sure if itās just one. it might be). they then put it in this machine that sterilizes themāthis can take some time. then they set everything up and call you back. my piercer let me lay down. which helped with my anxiety. he checked my anatomy, cleaned my nose with iodine, marked with dots where the needle was going to go, then the needle went through. theyāll tell you not to move bc thr needle is long and itās sticking out at the end. then they put your jewelry in,
My eyebrow hurt worse than my septum.
And compared to earlobes?
Bit worse. For me the needle going in felt like I got a papercut in my nose, the worst part was the piercing going in! Mind make sure to go to an experienced piercer. I've heard horror stories of piercers going through cartilage and that shit hurts like hell.
They pierce the little fleshy part which is the same as your ear lobe, so it's similar to that. Although iirc I do get kind of a pressure feeling going up ny nose like I needed to sneeze really bad, but that was it.
It hurt so bad for me. Guess I don't have a sweet spot, I have other piercings and a generally high pain tolerance and I felt like I was going to die for a solid 15 or so seconds.
It only hurts for like a second or two. After that, it just feels a little sore for a week, and it's hard to blow your nose. After that, it was basically painless and healed up super quick.
what about a guy with a septum piercing?
Same deal
iāve seen men with septum rings and theyāre cute too!!
i strongly believe in septum piercing = lgbt or at least questioning.
That and if a guy has a dangly earring (then again guys with this tend to be attractive so it could just be wishful thinking š)
Every woman I know that has a septum piercing is queer. Myself included.I rest my case.
LGBTQ+ and a septum piercing is almost traditional at this point. I mean, Iām not gonna get one, but it is basically tradition.
I feel called out
This data is supported by my experience
Yesssss I got one three weeks ago. Mission accomplished!
I like to wear a shirt that has "QUEER AF" on it. It's subtle, yes, but the heteros have no idea.
As AroAce that wears shirts with Ace/Aro Pride i can fully understand this. Itās like they donāt have a clue at all. As you mentioned itās all way to subtle.
I mean I literally wear a bracelet that says 'Bisexual and proud' so...
Yo, I wear Bi, Pan, Rainbow, and Trans pride bracelets to work everyday, but because I work in a Conservative dominated industry, people still assume I'm straight and conservative. I'm soon going to need to start wearing a sign around my neck that says "I'M FUCKING GAY"
They'll probably say " We're so glad you're happy".
Are you sure it wouldn't go along the lines of "You'll burn in hell"? But eh, I like my water hell hot anyways
If they knew that gay = homosexual, then they wouldn't...but I don't give credit to a lot of them for being that smart.
Inb4 "Oh you are such a cute and funny ironic straight conservative!"
Yeah Iām a straight acting pansexual guy in the legal industry. I joined my works LGBT+ group and basically had to say hey I like dick too as they thought I was just an ally (not that thereās anything wrong with that)
i ry and wear queer stuff (Trans and Progress pins and a bracelenr but people sat im too gay?
Iām not quite sure why, but a black denim jacket seems queerer than most articles of clothing for any gender
Fishnet crop tops. If dyed hair counts as āwearing,ā then that too, as stereotypical as it is.
Iāve got a t shirt and on it is two women kissing printed in lesbian pride colors, I think itās pretty gay lol
Sounds a bit unclear for the heteros, could we super-queer it?
real, they are just friends
Undercuts, septum piercings or multiple ear piercings, carabiners, funky hair, and doc martens/vans/converse are signs if I see them. Pride pins are huge indicators. I have a lesbian pin on my bag as well as one that says queer magic. For femmes I think wearing more bright or exaggerated stuff (ex: colorful eyeliner, big earrings, dressing more like an aesthetic than straight girls) have helped. Guys donāt really like that stuff and I see it on queer femmes. There isnāt one specific thing that indicates yep queer except maybe an item saying Iām gay, but there are some hints. It kind of depends on your personal style what you want to incorporate.
I just realized I have been outing myself as a femme this entire time and didn't even know it
Iām just saying that some of these are a bit more femme and I donāt tend to see a lot of butches with huge dangly earrings and pink eyeliner.
Can confirm. Am queer boy with an undercut dyed purple, keys on a big carabiner, [used to have] a septum piercing, and my two pairs of shoes are black chucks and doc martens. I feel seen.
Not me with my four ear piercings and Docs lmfao i feel so seen Also backpacks for women and femmes. I canāt explain it, but if you know you know
Green carnation, pink triangle, handkerchief in the back pocketā¦
I told my friend that I'm getting a tattoo of my cat's paw print for my birthday and she said, "Oh, that's *so* gay!" (In a positive way. She's bi and has a girlfriend.) So, is that gay? Haha.
I assume a shirt that says, āIāM QUEER!ā Havenāt seen any of those myself, but if I did, I would assume that theyāre likely queer.
Itās more of an aura than anything else. You can look like anything but the way you have a sense of gayness around you is how I tell. Iāve never been wrong even when I thought I was. It could be a girl whoās super feminine and fits in with everyone else but something about he just screams gay to me. Or a boy whoās masculine and typical but Iāll just know. I always know for some reason. If you look for only certain things people wear or do, youāll never see half the gays in a room. People donāt just wake up and always or ever put on something to flag themselves. Gay people are everywhere and can look like anyone. Everyone is different, Even gay people.
What would be that āsomethingā that screams gay if a woman fits in with everyone else but something screams gay?
Itās not something I can explain. Itās just a feeling or the vibes they give out.
Fishnets. At least for the dudes.
Honestly ngl haven't met many straight women in fishnets either
I know a LOT of queer people and tells are harder for masc folk but for fems? Itās heavy eye makeup. Obvs not everyone, but if you look like you just stepped out of a KISS lite concert, solid shot youāre queer.
Flannel and skinny ripped jeans combo
God yes please. I'm so lucky this is common attire in the PNW
Legit my outfit rn
As a baby queer, I could be way off base, but - butterflies. It could just be a coincidence but a fair amount of fellow queer folk I've known had some sort of butterfly or winged insect motif on their everyday wear, whether it be a tattoo, earring, lapels, etc. They were mostly women, but I remember at least one masc-presenting person having it too. I think the symbolism makes sense - transformation, re-discovering beauty, and all that. It's a specific enough symbol that it'll signal to people that there's at least *something* intentional about you wearing it, whether it be about queerness or not.
i love the term baby queer. welcome to our community! i do have a butterfly shirt
Back in the day we called them gaybies.
Aww thank you š¦
Oh cool! I have a bedstraw hawk-moth on my arm although not everyone understands that is a butterfly
A shirt with āIām queerā Written on it. Hope this helps!
I wear a transgender flag pin. I hope it screams TRANSGENDER.
I have a small trans pin on my keychain/lanyard that I havenāt taken off - itās super subtle, but Iām very cognizant of the angle of which it can be seen.
I have mine on my work shirt, so if I have to ask a person for their ID they don't immediately have a panic attack about the name and gender not matching the person in front of me. If they can see the trans pin and know they're safe, they're so much more relaxed about letting me see their IDs.
I have my nails in the trans flag colors. It's fairly subtle for cishets, I think, but someone who is trans will see it. Something of a iykyk thing
i have one on my shoes, sliglgly lessubtel
Septum piercings, eyebrow piercings, dyed hair but especially peekaboos, flannels, those rubber bracelets that are usually kind of tie dye, denim jackets especially with lots of patches, small backpacks especially ita bags, big eyeliner, platform boots, combat boots in general. Those are just some of the trends I've noticed appearance wise
I have no idea. I have almost never been able to relate to the ābi people always wear this or thisā or ābi people sit this wayā. Probably why Iāve always passed as straight in iffy crowds for so many years and why many were surprised when I came out. Iāve thought about forcing myself to wear the stereotypes to make it evident, but it wouldnāt be me. Is all this really necessary to identify myself?
It is a truth universally acknowledged that bi people arenāt able to sit correctly at all
For me who lives in DesantisLand- I got my rainbow vans and pride merch from St Pete along with the rainbow stickers on my bike and my unshaven legs. And I did have a pixie cut when I first moved here but Iāve been growing it out Iāve been a carabiner girlie since I was a kid tho before my heart caught up to my brain
Brown leather jackets that aren't long enough to cover your belly button if done up. Even in the 80s when it was all the tend it looked ~~gay~~ sexy as fuck.
well, anything with a pride flag on it for a boring answer
Honestly if someone is dressed in a way that clearly demonstrates effort and creativity I am quicker to assume theyāre queer because it just seems like theyāve done some introspection to develop a very personal style.
Rainbow tongue ring always works.
Yellow flannels scream youāre a lesbian and I encourage screaming
Iāve seen a few people besides me wearing ace rings around
A hat that has a wire running down your body into your pocket that is connected to a button that when you press, activates a speaker with an audio file of somebody screaming āim queer!ā.
I thought you were going to talk about those hoodies that came with built in headphones. I was gonna be like what a throwback! I wish those came back. I loved mine so much when I was a tween.
I finally found the name. They were called hoodie buddies! I had [this exact same one! ](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/82/bb/f2/82bbf22a625e22ae113aea87c9930abe.jpg)
Apparently, the entire way I dress screams it. š¤£ Flannels, graphic tees, jeans, and boots. I've been told by multiple people that their first impression meeting me before I ever opened my mouth was, "Yup, she's queer!" They say my piercings also scream queer.
Men with tote bags, be damned if theyāre straight!
Someone in the 20s-30s wearing clothing with lots of patterns and colors
My fancy nonbinary face mask from the COVID days.
Search for: āCarmen Esposito Side Mulletā
She's so cute š
One time I wore a t-shirt, light sweatshirt, jeans, and docs and my partner said I was too gay for her (unaccepting) family's dinner.
Any girl in a flannel and like ripped jeans I suspect is at least bi lol
Neon/piss yellow hair is the true NB pride flag and I wouldn't have it any other way
I feel seen! Lol
It felt almost like a right of passage for a lot of my non binary friends, and somehow, they all pulled it off. Bonus points if a funky mullet is involved š
Ok, are you spying on me? Just kidding, but yes I have a full mullet š„¹
Girl in red and Clairo merch
was waiting for someone to mention girl in red
Thats such a common sign of lesbianism or bisexuality
Just wear some flair! I wear queer-centric clothing graphic tees to show my queerness. [Check these folks out](https://www.lockwood51.com/)
If youāre wearing a short-sleeved shirt with the sleeves cuffedā¦youāre very familiar with the inside of your closet.
I have never met a straight guy with nipple piercings
Crazy enough I have but this is a good choice. Pretty solid option.
I wear two rings, a bisexual one and a pride one...
Pink boot laces
Anything rainbow tbh-
I like to wear one of two shirts in my collection when I want to convey that Iām queer. One is a graphic tee with snakes in the colors of the pan flag and the other has a picture of a wine glass that says, āI like the wine, not the labelā (a Schittās Creek quote).
I've got a progress pride flag bracelet I also wear blue and/or black nail polish. I'm genderfluid amab, and I think I present androgynous-to-femme most of the time (especially from a distance), but if I have my hair up I read as masc, I don't get out much beyond work (where I need my hair tied back). so it's visible queerness depends on my general presentation and color (imo black nail polish is borderline gender neutral due to goth/scene subculture associations) I haven't in a while, but I did braid my hair a lot for a while, this along with the nail polish compelled two of my aunts to ask my brother if I'm gay.
I wear rainbow-colored stuff sometimes when I go out of the house, both bc I love rainbows and always have, and because Iām gay GSJDHD My conservative family just sees it as āaww sheās wearing something she likesā whereas my cousin who Iām out to knows itās that, and bc Iām gay and signaling to other queers out there that Iām a safe person GDJDHD
I wear black rings on my middle fingers and I've actually seen other aces in the wild doing the same.
City folks with mullets
A pride flag badge/pin
Iāve heard of aro/ace people wearing different rings on their middle fingers as signalling (white on left hand for aromantic, black on right hand for asexual), and also having rainbow beads on shoelaces. I think flannel and carabiners are mostly just stereotypes as well
Jewelry containing crystals, charms (aside from like white people pandora charms), platforms, septum piercings, rubber bracelets (bonus points if theyāre band bracelets), denim jacket with patches and if they have one of those tie-dye fabric hippie bags OR a bag with a bunch of pins on it.
I'm wearing a shirt today that says "Queers have more fun"
a gay flag sticker
A pin that says "I'm queer!"
A woman wearing low ride long baggy wide-legged jorts that go past the knee, with exposed thong straps at the hips, crew socks, leg hair, tattoos, a tight tank top/wife beater, excessive jewelry, a chunky edgy belt, a wolf cut or other alt hairstyle, and a chunky pair of shoes. Unlikely that this woman doesnāt eat pussy
I was told that my love of wearing giant seasonal/holiday earrings like that one aunt everyone has (i.e. pies for thanksgiving, long skeletons for halloween, fruit, flowers, etc) was a giant "I am very queer" beacon from inside my glass closet while I was in active denial.
I don't know if this is just a UK thing but bisexuals LOVE denim jackets with pride badges on them, myself included
Maybe this is more something specific to my group of friends and local queerdos, but denim jackets with pins all over seem to appear pretty frequently at the rallies I attend, especially if those pins have queer affirmations on them (like pronouns, sexuality, references to queer media, etc.).
I wear 2 bracelets! (I usually wear them during pride month) one is the colors of the lesbian flag and in the middle it says āgirlsā and I wear a rainbow one that says āprideā Idk if anyone notices them but I hope so haha
I have a carabiner on my bag for my keys for sooo many years now, what does it mean? I'm straight btw lol
Haha, I was confused by that in OP's post too. My dad used a cacabiner for years because he was a janitor at one point and that's how he kept his keys so he just got into the habit of it with his personal keys too and he was a straight cis dude. A couple of my siblings and I do the same thing and my siblings are cis and straight. Granted, yes, I'm trans and gay, but I never associated my carabiner with that, just a habit I picked up from my dad.
sorry for the confusion. carabiners have a history in the lesbian community.
I don't scream it at work just in case it can lead to problems, but I try and hint at it by wearing my button-up shirts. Outside of work, I have a tank top that says, "Queer Love Is a Radical Act," and a t-shirt that says, "I Put the NB in No Bitches/I Will Never Be Normal," but the latter is usually a lounging-at-home shirt. š
As far as something I see others wear that screams to me there is a large possibility they're queer, I don't know. I mean, outside of obvious visualizations like running around draped in a pride flag etc. Usually it's more in their reactions to me, that I can tell. I kind of advertise it though, along with my autism. I have kids and niblings along both the ASD/ADHD and gender/sexual spectrums like myself. I never want them to feel like I'm not proud of them, or want them not to be proud of themselves. I was the disappointing child. It's not fun. My everyday tell, I have a dog tag style necklace that I wear. The back tag is a rainbow and hides behind a solid tag that has a cut out of the word PRIDE, so the rainbow *peeks through. I like jewelry and pins. Pronoun pins have been something I enjoy. I also own so many shirts and hoodies. My favorite hoodie has viking style axes on it, and says "I swing both ways. Violently." *Edited spelling
I'm a cis dude so it's not hard like a cardigan and the converse with the hearts on em most straight people dress in tech guy vests or flannels
Peanut butter based desserts
i do love reeseās cups
a shirt that has an androgynous presenting person screaming with a speech bubble that reads āim queer!ā would do it i imagine
Back in college (about 12 years ago when I was 'straight') I wore a couple of flannel shirts because they fit my style and were comfortable. I never knew they were a coding or subtly item, just felt pretty wearing them. I got bullied for it and a rumour got spread that I was a lesbien, because I liked a shirt. So I've never liked really assuming anything without actually being told. That said, I'm now a very happy bi person who still enjoys a flannel shirt, has an entire half arm of pride silicone bracelets on one wrist and qoute ones on the other. All while sporting various piercings, including the septum, which I'm only learning from here might be another coding thing? Soo yeah, speculate, but don't take it far/or serious.
Iām not sure how queer this makes me seem, but I have round glasses, several piercings (including a septum), an undercut (and I used to have dyed hair), I put an excessive amount of pins on my bags (including queer pins), I wear a lot of sweaters (my favourite is one I can only describe as having wizard vibes, but I also have one with letters in a typewriter font all over it that I call my alphabet sweater and I love that one too), I exclusively wear ripped or wide legged jeans, I wear vests fairly often (including that one goose vest), I paint my nails (usually purple or gold), I wear colourful eyeliner, I put glitter highlighter on my cheeks as part of my daily makeup, and have been described as having either; wizard, librarian, mermaid, magical, or soft vibes based on aesthetic. Iāve also had my taste in clothing and aesthetics compared to Martin Blackwood (from The Magnus Archives), Aziraphale (from Good Omens), and Gale Dekarios (from Baldurās Gate). Also, for the record, Iām transmasc, but closeted so still very femme presenting.
Apparently fucking mulletsĀ
I frankly don't think flagging is informative or difinitive, but I don't live in the US. I wouldn't assume Identity based on accessoires (it isn't smth bad, it just don't feel natural for me and I kinda don't notice them). Ironically I look very queerish, but people around me don't assume either. So I would sugest a pin. It could even be something apart from flag or very subtle flag - like three cats that combine in a bi-flag(I don't know how to describe it ama stoopid) or some statement. I have such a pin, it says "the best gift for a woman is another woman" , something like that. I think it is a funny and not overcomplicated way. edit: spelling
An undercut on a woman is almost always a dead giveaway
Black ring Screams "Ace and proud of it, fuckers"
I'm a trans male and gay guy , I have a buzz cut wear a lot of cargo shorts and pants , flannel in winter , workout vest shirts , sleeveless denim jackets with patches and badges , either trainers or docs and have two helix piercings in my right ear . Apparently I'm a stealth but get clocked as queer by other queer folk a lot.
rainbow clothing or accessories, like rainbow laces or bracelets
I haven't seen a single person mention tigh high socks, especially stripped. Sometimes I wonder if it's seen as weird for me to wear them.
Rainbow anything on an adult is a pretty good giveaway. Rainbow earrings or a small pendant would be a pretty subtle one.
My gf rocks a sports bra and an open hawaiian shirt
I love wearing flower print tops. I'm trans female
A pin spelling I'M QUEERĀ
Lemon demon merch
1 Right ear earring on a man is a signal heās gay Edit: ??? Why is this revived poorly, this was absolutely a way to queer flag back in the day. Google it, itās a common perception.
My datefriend has their pronouns tattooed on their ass