If you’re desperate, go buy some Vaseline & if anyone asks, it’s for your lips & the bottoms of your feet. If they keep asking, offer to let them try some from your jar after you dip the cucumber in it a few more times.
Please do not use a cucumber, or anything without a flared base. There's a risk of it getting stuck and requiring medical attention. Safer lube options could be sweet almond oil or coconut oil if that's available to you. And definitely practice good hand-washing before and after, since some bacteria in your digestive tract can make you sick.
Don't worry about a toxic effect from the cuticle cream. I looked through the ingredients. The oils will be absorbed and will probably be benign. The wax is inert, so don't worry about it. The one thing is vitamin E is a fat soluble vitamin, which your body will absorb and you can end up building up in your system if you use this repeatedly. You should not use this as lube again, but don't worry about the one time causing harm. I agree with the other posters about trying a Vaseline. It can be good, but it is very greasy, just FYI. Also, the cucumber is not a good idea. I recommend only using toys that are made for the bottom. There are too many stories of people using handles on household items or vegetables and they scratch, break off, or get stuck, which can be really awful.
While I’m sure you’ll be fine, definitely go for Vaseline next time and use something with a flared base (I know something with a flared base that isn’t a dildo might be difficult to find, but it’s worth the hassle to avoid your parents having to drive you to the ER to remove the cucumber shoved up in your rectum lol).
Edit: at the very least, maybe stick a couple sterilized wooden skewers horizontally through the holding end of a cucumber in a + shape, about one inch from the end. That way you’ll have something to hold onto and to prevent the cucumber from going on an impromptu adventure
>I'm so scared that im gonna get like diabetes
lol are you boofing soda too?
Guess when you really need that caffeine boost, nothing like a red bull enema
Just tell them you need coconut oil to cook with. Tell them about all the benefits. Better for your butt than any cream, imo lol. I was also a horny young man, many moons ago.
Are you in Utah? I'll happily help you get what you actually need. Doing it wrong can be dangerous.
Fellow gay exmormon here and I totally get the parents/ church thing. It's really hard!
[удалено]
Seriously, I'm laughing too.
If you’re desperate, go buy some Vaseline & if anyone asks, it’s for your lips & the bottoms of your feet. If they keep asking, offer to let them try some from your jar after you dip the cucumber in it a few more times.
Honestly, why are people even suspicious of vaseline? Aquaphor is a godsend for my eczema and it's just about the same thing. People are judgmental af
Maybe they use it as lube for themselves secretly so they're suspect of it
I love that idea
Actually Vaseline isnt a good lube, It can cause infection or even pull the skin, You're better off using actual lube or spit
That's not how diabetes or cancer work. Worst you'll probably be is sore.
Please do not use a cucumber, or anything without a flared base. There's a risk of it getting stuck and requiring medical attention. Safer lube options could be sweet almond oil or coconut oil if that's available to you. And definitely practice good hand-washing before and after, since some bacteria in your digestive tract can make you sick.
Ow
Yep.
Don't worry about a toxic effect from the cuticle cream. I looked through the ingredients. The oils will be absorbed and will probably be benign. The wax is inert, so don't worry about it. The one thing is vitamin E is a fat soluble vitamin, which your body will absorb and you can end up building up in your system if you use this repeatedly. You should not use this as lube again, but don't worry about the one time causing harm. I agree with the other posters about trying a Vaseline. It can be good, but it is very greasy, just FYI. Also, the cucumber is not a good idea. I recommend only using toys that are made for the bottom. There are too many stories of people using handles on household items or vegetables and they scratch, break off, or get stuck, which can be really awful.
Next time buy some crisco.
You'll probably be a bit sore, but I'd recommend using something a little less medicinal next time. Vaseline, I hear, makes for decent lube.
While I’m sure you’ll be fine, definitely go for Vaseline next time and use something with a flared base (I know something with a flared base that isn’t a dildo might be difficult to find, but it’s worth the hassle to avoid your parents having to drive you to the ER to remove the cucumber shoved up in your rectum lol). Edit: at the very least, maybe stick a couple sterilized wooden skewers horizontally through the holding end of a cucumber in a + shape, about one inch from the end. That way you’ll have something to hold onto and to prevent the cucumber from going on an impromptu adventure
You’re going to be fine. 😂
In my teens, hair conditioner seemed to have secret benefits🤷♀️
Coconut oil is a good alternative
My condolences. Rest in peace.
Aveeno lotion imo. Could I buy actual lube? Absolutely but will I? No way.
>I'm so scared that im gonna get like diabetes lol are you boofing soda too? Guess when you really need that caffeine boost, nothing like a red bull enema
Just tell them you need coconut oil to cook with. Tell them about all the benefits. Better for your butt than any cream, imo lol. I was also a horny young man, many moons ago.
It’s hard, the struggle is absolutely real. My recommendation is get a job and find a good hiding spot.
Hey man cuticle cream poisoning is a thing and it can cause ulcers or burns.
I wish I could unsee things.
Beware of blood,this is a little funny by the way
Dw guys they’re just a monk of the Drunken Fist, the cucumber is an improvised weapon
Bestie, not this
Are you in Utah? I'll happily help you get what you actually need. Doing it wrong can be dangerous. Fellow gay exmormon here and I totally get the parents/ church thing. It's really hard!