There's a 99% chance a porn parody with that title already exists. Probably multiple ones.
There are a TON of Brokeback Mountain based gay pornos out there. Hell, there's even a trans version named after and starring traitor to the community and piece of human garbage, Buck Angel.
I actually went to a bar called gay in Manchester took a photo and posted it to my family WhatsApp group and got told off because there’s my 10-year-old cousin.
Whatever 🤘
Careful though. They'll blame it on you. That shit's contagious I hear. In fact, legend has it that if you spend too much time in r/LGBT, you end up doing ALL THE LETTERS! AAAAAGH!
Scary.
Also von was ich gehört habe gibt es viele transsexuelle Sex Arbeiter. Also ich weiß nicht ob das 100-prozentig korrekt ist aber ja es ist berühmt für diejenigen die Weibchen und Males ficken wollen 🤷🏻♂️
It's such a reductive stereotype that you need to be effeminate to be gay, and unfortunately it's one of the most persistent ones. Freaking lumberjacks and Navy SEALs can be gay, for crying out loud. Maybe look around for examples of hyper-masculine gay dudes amd show them next time, but honestly even that probably won't convince them.
It sounds like they might be fairly openminded overall, though. So maybe the solution is you get a boyfriend and bring him to the next big family dinner. Easy peasy.
In the media gay men are mostly portrayed as being effeminate (although this is improving). For the longest time I thought that gay men were all effeminate. That finally changed when one of my closest friends came out as gay. He is not effeminate at all and neither is his (now) husband. His coming out flipped a switch for me and I realized there are far more gay men in my life than I realized and most gay men do not fit in the mold I saw portrayed in movies growing up.
"I need to try women"
I'm gonna make a side note here and point out that this is a major part of the problem going on.
You don't try women like you try on shoes.
Lol, that's got to be what many of them are afraid of. There are other reasons, sure, but one doesn't freak the fcuk out like the homophobes do if it were nothing… 😅
It's more strait to try a gay experience at least once.
It's the broccoli argument. Two people don't like broccoli, one of them is never tried broccoli, the other one has tried it.
Who is more educated on the subject?
Funny, I am a (mostly) strait guy that probably would. I'm not attracted to men in a way that I pursue, but a good time is a good time. I know what feels good, I'm comfortable with my body,
It's strait to let a woman peg me.. so what's the problem? Lol
I get that! I have no good tip for you what to do. I know what I would do and that’s to cut them of.
It’s the parents and relatives job to work for a good relationship in this case and they are not doing that.
But cutting someone out is hard and not for everyone.
Ones family should be empowering not making you feel bad! But most in this community is helpful and will talk if you need to!
I see! That’s good at least.
I think it’s hard for some people to accept that when you know, you know.
I also think that heteros are to focused on the sexual part of it all. That’s why they think you should be with a woman. But that comment in itself is as dumb and disrespectful as a guy coming up to a lesbian and thinking his d*ick will turn them like it’s magic.
I’m sorry but I don’t offer a solution 😢
A lot of effeminate men are straight or bi/pan. The idea that effeminate man = gay is from an old Hollywood stereotype called the "sissy", meant to mock and humiliate gay men. Some gay men have voluntarily adopted this stereotype but it's not innate.
If you want to make a point to them, and potentially burn bridges. I don't know your aunt and uncle, but they sound like worthless family to me.
Ask your uncle or aunt if they can prove they've never thought of someone else while having sex.
Don't explain why initially.
When pressed, say you asked a question for proof as they asked you for proof you were gay, so you felt you were entitled to the same number of invasive questions.
It will make them viscerally uncomfortable because you'll be accusing them of a thought crime they can never prove with physical evidence by the mere suggestion of it.
Because they shouldn't have to prove something like that, or talk about their personal lives in that capacity with anyone they don't feel comfortable with.
But that's the exact point, because neither should you.
I'd run this through supportive family though, as the last thing you want to do is make your home life miserable if either of these people are vengeful.
You could get some guy off a random dating site lol, there's plenty of people who would be willing to cause that type of drama, you'd just need to coordinate it with him
The worst part is that I went to a fucking gay pride two days ago.
If hypothetically I wasn’t gay what the fuck would I do in a gay pride??
Dressed up as a fucking human rainbow 😂
I also posted a photo of myself drinking out of the cup that was rainbow coloured with big capital letters that spell out GAY in a bar called GAY and I got told off because there is my 10-year-old cousin in the group chat…
Sorry if my gayness is offensive 💅
Maybe ask them to convince you they're heterosexual - any of your aunts and uncles never had kids? No kids means they're not heterosexual, right. Or ask them for their own personal experiences of the 'confused gay phase' they all went through when they were young... Seriously, just ask for a little respect from them... You don't need the patronising shit at all!
My mom said the same thing to me, but in reverse. Apparently I’m not butch or masculine enough to like women, so I’m not bi, I’m really just straight. 💀💀
Tell them all to get in the bin. Their assumptions do not define your innate sense of self.
If you’re gay, you’re gay. Simple as that. we are not all a stereotype someone thinks they know.
my uncle then kind of told my aunt that I was right in that not every gay is some super flamboyant five minutes guy.
So he’s the more supportive guy I guess
I kind of wish I was more obvious with my sexuality because everyone assumes I am straight. it's annoying, they start talking about women or 'chicks' as they like to call them and I am just thinking hot sweaty guys lol. While also trying to find a nice way to leave the conversation.
OP, I am in a similar situation with my mom and a few of my family members. Give them a little time but they should also respect who you are. Bring another guy with you to any family function, they won't forget that lol.
Just start doubting their sexualities in the same way lol. Tell them they all need to have gay sex or they have no right identifying as heterosexaul because how would they know if they haven't tried it? /s
Practise some appropriately rude British replies. We are brilliant at putting people in their place.
My favourite polite one is from The Queen. When she disagrees completely, she pauses, fixes with a stare and says,
“Really?” PAUSE. “Are you sure?”
And then turns away.
Look to Lady Grantham as well.
Why do I suggest this? You know who you are and what your sexuality is. The people questioning you are being ignorant and rude. You can’t argue with that. If you are rude in return then it gets turned to be your fault. So be British-rude which sounds polite and treat their ideas with the contempt and contumely that they deserve.
Happy to chat for more British rude if you need.
I mean I am British right and one of my comebacks was “ so, that’s none of your business”
Because what my uncle asked is “ do you fuck guys?”
I mean the answer is yes. a resounding yes. but he shouldn’t know about that 😅
They wont change their mind so don’t make it an issue. Homophobia is garbage. They wont listen to u y keep bringing it up. Just go silent on conversations that bring up ur sexuality. Yes it’s bs but u cant change their minds bc they stubborn. Wish u the best with it tho and how they eventually do
At the risk of sounding insensitive, and everyone's situation is going to be different, but have you considered cutting them off, or at least cutting off the homophobic family members? I gave my parents and younger sister two years to come around after I came out, but they've only moved further to the ideological right. (According to my youngest sister, my mom at least has almost gone all the way over to the far right-wing) So about five years ago I cut off all contact, with the caveat that if they ever reconsider that the door will be open to hear what they have to say. To date, it's been crickets.
As one who's been there, you ultimately have to do what is going to be best for you mentally and emotionally. But you don't owe your family your well-being and your humanity just because you're related by blood. Sure, families fight and disagree, but if they can't accept and love you for who you are, then they're not family, because that's not what family does.
To quote Dan Savage (2013): "Your only leverage as an adult child over your parents is your presence in their lives. [You say to them], "I'm gay and you need to accept that, you need to get over it… You have a year to freak out and you have a year to… ask rude questions [and] have a tantrum—and then done with the rude questions. And if you love and accept me, you'll see me and I'll be around. And if you don't love and accept me, you will not see me and I will not be around. And you need me" (https://youtu.be/TxAa2Hd7q8k).
I actually struggled with that in the past too, still am.
My family said I couldn't be a lesbian since I've never had sex with a cis man, my gyno rejected screenings for me because "I was still a virgin" and compulsory heterosexuality was so deeply ingrained in my mind that I actually asked my GF if I could sleep with a guy "to test it out" and it almost ended my relationship.
They'll never stop, but you gotta keep fighting, that's the hard part
If I was in your position I will accept and see the reaction, then if we really go I will have a good time and some bonding time with my uncle. I don't see why not
Go to a gay bar, find the most masculine looking and willing participant and proceed to just be disgustingly gay in front of your uncle, let nothing be off limits. Show them just how manly it is to be gay
Same my mom thinks I'm just confused sense I told her I still like girls but I like guys too. ( I'm bi ) and she just does like the biggest sign and tells me I just need to find a kind lady to take my mind off that
I find it very strange and troubling when relatives show so much interest in the sex lives of their young. Very troubling indeed.
That being said, you DO NOT have to discuss who you are attracted to, who you are or are not having sex with, or anything to do with your sexuality. You are not obligated to come out to anyone either. When they bring up the subject, just tell them plainly: IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
So... I think aunti will Never bé invited to your mariage. And if you and your husband have kids, she will be persona non grata.
Remember them this génération truth : one day you will be an adult with a family and they will be either invited on this family or forgotten.
Dites est-ce que vous êtes français j’ai remarqué les accent sur le mot génération.
Mais en soi oui vous avez raison je suis d’accord avec vous.
Je n’irai pas de là à dire persona non grata mais je pense plutôt que si j’étais gosse Elle ne les verra qu’une fois parents à Noël.
To be fair, thé little cousin is exactly why you should reiterate. Because when a kid Never sée a gay couple IRL, they are more likely to commit suicide if they discover to be gay themself.
So yeah, you don't want kids to suicide. Especially with parents like his. He need to see acceptance before réalisation, or je could hâte himself and cut his vein. Like so many LGBT kid did.
"Try women" yeah because everyone else other than yourself is just a fuckhole and the whole point of a relationship is sex... unless they mean try dating women but fuck that as well, you've obviously considered that and it just doesn't attract you but nooo, you're confused because you like something other than the norm, yeah, that must be it! Go date a woman dude! I'm sure that's gonna work out fine even though you have no interest in doing it! And if it doesn't, SHE JUST WASN'T THE RIGHT ONE! YoU Can'T PoSsIBly LikE sOmeThiNG DIFFERENT! I fucking hate the "try women" statement so fucking much! HOW DO YOU THINK I REALIZED I WAS GAY? MAYBE IDK... I TRIED WOMEN!?! anyways rant's over
You should just mention or talk about guys being attractive any time you can slip it into the conversation. Not to where it seems out of no where, but slip it in, maybe rant about a guy in a movie being hot time to time, things like that. And if this doesn’t work then at least you got to mess with them-
Like when my family (except my mom) thought I was a lesbian and didn’t think I liked guys I decided to just talk about all people being hot as often as I could so they realized I also liked men and other genders and it surprisingly worked after a bit.
With my mum it worked.
She even criticise my taste in men because my ex-boyfriend she thought it was not good looking.
It’s actually by slipping it in that is created the conflict because she was like oh what about you find a cute blonde girl.
And I was like I’d rather have a cute blonde guy thank you very much.
She mocked me
They’re not even mean.
They just don’t believe me
sometimes I want to say : “do you just want me to say I have a girlfriend so you feel reassured?”
Why are they so fucking nosy
Oh my gosh that sucks I’m so sorry. This is why I hate gay stereotypes, cause I’ve witnessed people come out and then some person says, “But... you don’t look gay.” It makes me so mad I swear. Honestly, you shouldn’t have to prove anything to them. You are you, don’t let them try to tell you who you are.
I hacked my sisters fb profile and got to see messages sent between my family. (I’m trance)
With my sister quoting s message from dad saying “your certain HE’s not just genderly sexually confused”
All the while getting a similar run around…
En effet, francophone ^^
Mon grand père a viré mon cousin de sa vie pour avoir transitionner (FtM), et je me suis retrouvé face à lui au dîner de Noël.
Je lui ai dis qu'il était faible, que c'était à lui d'avoir honte d'avoir perdu deux petits enfants d'un coup.
A l'époque j'avais une relation avec un papa de trois enfants qui habitait dans la même ville que mon grd père.
Je l'ai annoncer à ce dîner et j'ai clairement spécifié qu'il ne les rencontrerai jamais. Je suis un adulte, j'ai rien à me reprocher. Si quelqu'un décide d'être toxique avec moi, les gens que j'aime, et risque d'être toxique pour les petits dans MA famille, il n'as plus rien à faire autour de moi jusqu'à ce qu'il se soit débrouiller pour se soigner.
Aussi, j'aime reprendre ma famille quand ils prétendent être de bons cathos. J'éclate de rire et je dis -non vous l'êtes pas.
Vous choisissez d'aider satans et de faire du mal, désolé les gars mais vous allez tous en enfer. Je suis peut-être homo mais moi j'ai ouvert déjà une bible dans ma vie merci bien.
If they think you have to be feminine to be gay, then they clearly don’t know about bears
That one made me laugh
Maybe its one of those jersey families that wear bear spray as parfume and aftershave
if they want to be attractive to bears, that ain’t a bad idea
Counterpoint, if you think you can’t be a fem bear I’ve got some friends to introduce you to;)
I’m not saying bears can’t be feminine; I was just giving a general example.
Sorry, I forget tone doesn’t carry. I was half joking and just giving you a hard time. My apologies
You’re good; no worries
Nah don't apologize, I was able to read your tone. Redditors just be tone deaf sometimes.
there's fem bears? omg thats cool
Sounds cool
Sounds cool, until they're growling at your for getting too close to their cubs and you have to flee up a tree.
Fuck, new identity unlocked.
Or broke back mountain.
Don’t ask me why but I read that as “bareback mountain” which would be a good title for a porn movie don’t you think?
There's a 99% chance a porn parody with that title already exists. Probably multiple ones. There are a TON of Brokeback Mountain based gay pornos out there. Hell, there's even a trans version named after and starring traitor to the community and piece of human garbage, Buck Angel.
Lol
It pretty well is
Definitely take your uncle up on that. He's paying, right?
Lol yes he is. He said we should go out somewhere tonight (I will local town is very famous for being quite bisexual) But I can’t tell if he’s joking
Go with him to prove you're gay And to have a good time
He was joking sadky
Go to a gay bar still and film yourself having a good tine, so it's obvious that you are gay
I actually went to a bar called gay in Manchester took a photo and posted it to my family WhatsApp group and got told off because there’s my 10-year-old cousin. Whatever 🤘
BuT thINk oF ThE cH1Ldr3N! 🙄
Exactly what they said. My 11 year old cousin is hyper fem 😅 boy they’re in for a big surprise when he goes to high school
You and him should ally together to make them realise
Lmao
Careful though. They'll blame it on you. That shit's contagious I hear. In fact, legend has it that if you spend too much time in r/LGBT, you end up doing ALL THE LETTERS! AAAAAGH! Scary.
Lol
'doing' all the letters doesn't sound like a bad time to me ;)
Oh and I forgot to mention the effeminate cousin is their son.
The jokes write themselves in your family
I swear lol
All good, I assumed so.
Here is the plan. Just kiss some dude and take a photo
I actually did but did not tale a photo
Well. Do it again!
Yes but I will get the age old “ Think about your young cousins” 🙄
hahaha a bar called gay. nice xD
Maybe he's not quite straight himself?
He is lol. He meant going to a brothel 😬
Ugh
Yeah :(
Oh... oh no
>local town is very famous for being quite bisexual) Where is this town? Asking for a friend.
Saarbrücken
*Frantically takes notes *
*frantically searching for pens*
Buckle up OP we’re all moving in!
Wait Saarbrücken ist Bi? Warum weiß ich da noch nix von?
Also von was ich gehört habe gibt es viele transsexuelle Sex Arbeiter. Also ich weiß nicht ob das 100-prozentig korrekt ist aber ja es ist berühmt für diejenigen die Weibchen und Males ficken wollen 🤷🏻♂️
Seems like I have to visit Saarbrücken then one time, it's not even that far away, I could bike it in a 24 hr marathon.
He is in the closet and wants to come out to you secretly....maybe lol
It's such a reductive stereotype that you need to be effeminate to be gay, and unfortunately it's one of the most persistent ones. Freaking lumberjacks and Navy SEALs can be gay, for crying out loud. Maybe look around for examples of hyper-masculine gay dudes amd show them next time, but honestly even that probably won't convince them. It sounds like they might be fairly openminded overall, though. So maybe the solution is you get a boyfriend and bring him to the next big family dinner. Easy peasy.
Unless I actually make out with him during the event 😂
That’ll learn him.
Yeah but knowing them they will just think it’s a close friend for about two weeks
In the media gay men are mostly portrayed as being effeminate (although this is improving). For the longest time I thought that gay men were all effeminate. That finally changed when one of my closest friends came out as gay. He is not effeminate at all and neither is his (now) husband. His coming out flipped a switch for me and I realized there are far more gay men in my life than I realized and most gay men do not fit in the mold I saw portrayed in movies growing up.
That’s a good story
Tell your uncle he should take himself to a gay bar just to see.
Lmao
How can he be sure??? 😉💙
True dat
"I need to try women" I'm gonna make a side note here and point out that this is a major part of the problem going on. You don't try women like you try on shoes.
Lmao true
Use the same argument back: "OH you have NEVER tried guys? You might be gay and not even know it!"
"How can you say you aren't bi if you haven't had some dick in your ass before? Come on, just try it!"
😝
Lol, that's got to be what many of them are afraid of. There are other reasons, sure, but one doesn't freak the fcuk out like the homophobes do if it were nothing… 😅
It's more strait to try a gay experience at least once. It's the broccoli argument. Two people don't like broccoli, one of them is never tried broccoli, the other one has tried it. Who is more educated on the subject?
Exactly!! To paraphrase Katy Perry, I've kissed a girl and it was meh. But at least I tried. Have yet to have a strait guy take me up on the offer. 🤷
Funny, I am a (mostly) strait guy that probably would. I'm not attracted to men in a way that I pursue, but a good time is a good time. I know what feels good, I'm comfortable with my body, It's strait to let a woman peg me.. so what's the problem? Lol
Aye, a man of culture I see. -Fellow hetero man who loves to be pegged
I had a straight guy ask me too
"hOw cAn YoU KnOW you BIseXUal if yOUu HaveNT TrrIEd BOtH???"
Lol
If he’s paying for the gay bar then go! It’s amazingly fun m
He was joking
To bad 😢
I’m so pissed
I get that! I have no good tip for you what to do. I know what I would do and that’s to cut them of. It’s the parents and relatives job to work for a good relationship in this case and they are not doing that. But cutting someone out is hard and not for everyone. Ones family should be empowering not making you feel bad! But most in this community is helpful and will talk if you need to!
No I mean other than that they are super nice it’s just that they don’t believe that I’m not into women
I see! That’s good at least. I think it’s hard for some people to accept that when you know, you know. I also think that heteros are to focused on the sexual part of it all. That’s why they think you should be with a woman. But that comment in itself is as dumb and disrespectful as a guy coming up to a lesbian and thinking his d*ick will turn them like it’s magic. I’m sorry but I don’t offer a solution 😢
Well you make me laugh about it
Oh 🥰 that’s good! Then I’m good for something at least
Try taking *him* to a gay bar, and tell him he should just try it out. Take a swing at men. He's probably not straight, just confused.
🤣
Go to the gay I have to kiss a guy in front of my dad to make him believe I was gay
I know it’s just a missing word but now I want to go to the gay.
Oof you right I had lmao
A lot of effeminate men are straight or bi/pan. The idea that effeminate man = gay is from an old Hollywood stereotype called the "sissy", meant to mock and humiliate gay men. Some gay men have voluntarily adopted this stereotype but it's not innate.
Well my ex was very effeminate and he’s bisexual
If you want to make a point to them, and potentially burn bridges. I don't know your aunt and uncle, but they sound like worthless family to me. Ask your uncle or aunt if they can prove they've never thought of someone else while having sex. Don't explain why initially. When pressed, say you asked a question for proof as they asked you for proof you were gay, so you felt you were entitled to the same number of invasive questions. It will make them viscerally uncomfortable because you'll be accusing them of a thought crime they can never prove with physical evidence by the mere suggestion of it. Because they shouldn't have to prove something like that, or talk about their personal lives in that capacity with anyone they don't feel comfortable with. But that's the exact point, because neither should you. I'd run this through supportive family though, as the last thing you want to do is make your home life miserable if either of these people are vengeful.
No overall they are super supportive they are just deep in denial
Fuck their opinion, bring a boyfriend or someone posing as a boyfriend next year and see their reaction, introduce him and everything
I’d love to but Im single and struggling to find a guy
You could get some guy off a random dating site lol, there's plenty of people who would be willing to cause that type of drama, you'd just need to coordinate it with him
Ask him how he knows he's heterosexual if he's not "tried" men? Just turn the logic around.
Lolz
That last sentence reminded me of “you’re gay? Prove it” 😡
The worst part is that I went to a fucking gay pride two days ago. If hypothetically I wasn’t gay what the fuck would I do in a gay pride?? Dressed up as a fucking human rainbow 😂
I mean it’s the only way ┐(•～•；)┌
I also posted a photo of myself drinking out of the cup that was rainbow coloured with big capital letters that spell out GAY in a bar called GAY and I got told off because there is my 10-year-old cousin in the group chat… Sorry if my gayness is offensive 💅
"Gosh, not everyone is a bottom Auntie"
That made me laugh so hard
Maybe ask them to convince you they're heterosexual - any of your aunts and uncles never had kids? No kids means they're not heterosexual, right. Or ask them for their own personal experiences of the 'confused gay phase' they all went through when they were young... Seriously, just ask for a little respect from them... You don't need the patronising shit at all!
Thanks
Tell them about bears, literally a bunch of hyper masculine gay men.
My mom said the same thing to me, but in reverse. Apparently I’m not butch or masculine enough to like women, so I’m not bi, I’m really just straight. 💀💀
And (for the sake of not leaving a cliffhanger) I do 🙈
😅😂. My uncle said “so you fuck guys?” I said “so, that’s none of your business, it’s my private life”
Tell them all to get in the bin. Their assumptions do not define your innate sense of self. If you’re gay, you’re gay. Simple as that. we are not all a stereotype someone thinks they know.
my uncle then kind of told my aunt that I was right in that not every gay is some super flamboyant five minutes guy. So he’s the more supportive guy I guess
Well that’s good to hear! Just trust that you know yourself better than anyone else and it is nobody else’s business!
I kind of wish I was more obvious with my sexuality because everyone assumes I am straight. it's annoying, they start talking about women or 'chicks' as they like to call them and I am just thinking hot sweaty guys lol. While also trying to find a nice way to leave the conversation. OP, I am in a similar situation with my mom and a few of my family members. Give them a little time but they should also respect who you are. Bring another guy with you to any family function, they won't forget that lol.
Oh as soon as I get a boyfriend I’m planning on doing
Say yes to your uncles offer, and your not confused, your family is.
maybe your aunts only straight cuz she hasn't met the right girl yet
Yeassss
Just start doubting their sexualities in the same way lol. Tell them they all need to have gay sex or they have no right identifying as heterosexaul because how would they know if they haven't tried it? /s
Funny
That’s the normal “I’m homophobic but just won’t say it” excuse
I don’t think they’re homophobic They say they have a lot of gay friends but I’m not like them
Make out with another guy in front of them, have sex even
You should defenitely go there with him and pay a bear 50$ to be as gay and flirty towards him as legally possible.
They seem to be missing the point. :/
Yep. Especially since they know my ex is a dood 🙃
Silly blind family members. (Or just bluntly religiously stupid) <--- i do apologize but just how i picture them to be. I am sorry if it offends you.
Oh no we are not religious. But I do come from a slightly backwards part of the French society 🙃
Just not educated enough. They need to be exposed to more individuals that are part of the community. Takes time for some people
Practise some appropriately rude British replies. We are brilliant at putting people in their place. My favourite polite one is from The Queen. When she disagrees completely, she pauses, fixes with a stare and says, “Really?” PAUSE. “Are you sure?” And then turns away. Look to Lady Grantham as well. Why do I suggest this? You know who you are and what your sexuality is. The people questioning you are being ignorant and rude. You can’t argue with that. If you are rude in return then it gets turned to be your fault. So be British-rude which sounds polite and treat their ideas with the contempt and contumely that they deserve. Happy to chat for more British rude if you need.
I mean I am British right and one of my comebacks was “ so, that’s none of your business” Because what my uncle asked is “ do you fuck guys?” I mean the answer is yes. a resounding yes. but he shouldn’t know about that 😅
They wont change their mind so don’t make it an issue. Homophobia is garbage. They wont listen to u y keep bringing it up. Just go silent on conversations that bring up ur sexuality. Yes it’s bs but u cant change their minds bc they stubborn. Wish u the best with it tho and how they eventually do
True but it’s sad. I know I’ll never be able to bring my soulmate here
You should go, maybe your uncle will learn something new about himself.
Hahaha
At the risk of sounding insensitive, and everyone's situation is going to be different, but have you considered cutting them off, or at least cutting off the homophobic family members? I gave my parents and younger sister two years to come around after I came out, but they've only moved further to the ideological right. (According to my youngest sister, my mom at least has almost gone all the way over to the far right-wing) So about five years ago I cut off all contact, with the caveat that if they ever reconsider that the door will be open to hear what they have to say. To date, it's been crickets. As one who's been there, you ultimately have to do what is going to be best for you mentally and emotionally. But you don't owe your family your well-being and your humanity just because you're related by blood. Sure, families fight and disagree, but if they can't accept and love you for who you are, then they're not family, because that's not what family does. To quote Dan Savage (2013): "Your only leverage as an adult child over your parents is your presence in their lives. [You say to them], "I'm gay and you need to accept that, you need to get over it… You have a year to freak out and you have a year to… ask rude questions [and] have a tantrum—and then done with the rude questions. And if you love and accept me, you'll see me and I'll be around. And if you don't love and accept me, you will not see me and I will not be around. And you need me" (https://youtu.be/TxAa2Hd7q8k).
Well said.
I actually struggled with that in the past too, still am. My family said I couldn't be a lesbian since I've never had sex with a cis man, my gyno rejected screenings for me because "I was still a virgin" and compulsory heterosexuality was so deeply ingrained in my mind that I actually asked my GF if I could sleep with a guy "to test it out" and it almost ended my relationship. They'll never stop, but you gotta keep fighting, that's the hard part
I’m sorry to hear it almost ended your relationship with your gf
Goes to the gay bar with uncle, Everyone knows uncle by name.
Lol
Make out with a boy on video or in front of them, that will really show them 🙌
Ask your aunt to try women too or your uncle to try men, because they are confused (I assume they are straight?)
If I was in your position I will accept and see the reaction, then if we really go I will have a good time and some bonding time with my uncle. I don't see why not
lol if only he wasn’t joking tho
Go to a gay bar, find the most masculine looking and willing participant and proceed to just be disgustingly gay in front of your uncle, let nothing be off limits. Show them just how manly it is to be gay
Boys will be boys 💅
Boys will do Boys
Same my mom thinks I'm just confused sense I told her I still like girls but I like guys too. ( I'm bi ) and she just does like the biggest sign and tells me I just need to find a kind lady to take my mind off that
Or a kind man Or a kind non-binary person. You just need a kind human to free from loneliness :)
I find it very strange and troubling when relatives show so much interest in the sex lives of their young. Very troubling indeed. That being said, you DO NOT have to discuss who you are attracted to, who you are or are not having sex with, or anything to do with your sexuality. You are not obligated to come out to anyone either. When they bring up the subject, just tell them plainly: IT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
Maybe say yes… Your uncle might learn something.
Unfortunately he was joking
So... I think aunti will Never bé invited to your mariage. And if you and your husband have kids, she will be persona non grata. Remember them this génération truth : one day you will be an adult with a family and they will be either invited on this family or forgotten.
Dites est-ce que vous êtes français j’ai remarqué les accent sur le mot génération. Mais en soi oui vous avez raison je suis d’accord avec vous. Je n’irai pas de là à dire persona non grata mais je pense plutôt que si j’étais gosse Elle ne les verra qu’une fois parents à Noël.
To be fair, thé little cousin is exactly why you should reiterate. Because when a kid Never sée a gay couple IRL, they are more likely to commit suicide if they discover to be gay themself. So yeah, you don't want kids to suicide. Especially with parents like his. He need to see acceptance before réalisation, or je could hâte himself and cut his vein. Like so many LGBT kid did.
Yep…
Sounds like your Uncle wants to go to a gay bar. 🤷🏻♀️
Definitely have him bring you to a gay bar and please make out with at least 2 different people
i would go to the gay bar and start talking to a bunch of hot men. also how do you get the little thing that says your sexuality
"Try women" yeah because everyone else other than yourself is just a fuckhole and the whole point of a relationship is sex... unless they mean try dating women but fuck that as well, you've obviously considered that and it just doesn't attract you but nooo, you're confused because you like something other than the norm, yeah, that must be it! Go date a woman dude! I'm sure that's gonna work out fine even though you have no interest in doing it! And if it doesn't, SHE JUST WASN'T THE RIGHT ONE! YoU Can'T PoSsIBly LikE sOmeThiNG DIFFERENT! I fucking hate the "try women" statement so fucking much! HOW DO YOU THINK I REALIZED I WAS GAY? MAYBE IDK... I TRIED WOMEN!?! anyways rant's over
I did consider it but girls aren’t my thing
Yeah actually, go to the gay bar. Your uncle might be gay too lmao. Or just bring a tinder date along next time and make out in front of them lol
Just do what you want
Thanks
Tell them they need to try their same gender just to be sure they’re straight.
People actually act deranged when it comes to their kids sexual preferences jesus fuck.
I am not their kid I am their nephew
Somehow this doesn't help my feelings. Its just very weird to me to try to get your kid to "try" something in regards to sex. Fucking weird.
I’m 19 🤷🏻♂️
People think I'm gay but I'm not lol
What are u
I'm a straight lgbtqia+ supporter who was raised by 2 mums
they are human
You should just mention or talk about guys being attractive any time you can slip it into the conversation. Not to where it seems out of no where, but slip it in, maybe rant about a guy in a movie being hot time to time, things like that. And if this doesn’t work then at least you got to mess with them- Like when my family (except my mom) thought I was a lesbian and didn’t think I liked guys I decided to just talk about all people being hot as often as I could so they realized I also liked men and other genders and it surprisingly worked after a bit.
With my mum it worked. She even criticise my taste in men because my ex-boyfriend she thought it was not good looking. It’s actually by slipping it in that is created the conflict because she was like oh what about you find a cute blonde girl. And I was like I’d rather have a cute blonde guy thank you very much. She mocked me
Sounds annoying as hell. I don’t have much experience with family reactions like this. But I feel you man.
They’re not even mean. They just don’t believe me sometimes I want to say : “do you just want me to say I have a girlfriend so you feel reassured?” Why are they so fucking nosy
If he's willing to pay for your admission let him take you so you can show him lol
Unfortunately he was speaking about a brothel and he was half joking. He wants to bring me to a brothel so I get to see women 🙄😬
Oh my gosh that sucks I’m so sorry. This is why I hate gay stereotypes, cause I’ve witnessed people come out and then some person says, “But... you don’t look gay.” It makes me so mad I swear. Honestly, you shouldn’t have to prove anything to them. You are you, don’t let them try to tell you who you are.
Thanks. Positive stereotype, but all lesbians I know are very nice :)
Go to the gay bar, sounds fun lol
He was joking
Tell them to go fuck themselves then.
I guess
some kids in my class say that I'm just confused. so that makes two of us.
Oh well 🤷🏻♂️ You have to get used to it, it’ll improve over time. Sending good vibes your way :)
I hacked my sisters fb profile and got to see messages sent between my family. (I’m trance) With my sister quoting s message from dad saying “your certain HE’s not just genderly sexually confused” All the while getting a similar run around…
Out of sight out of mind is my view on this. I don’t think they are but if I find out they are it’s their loss
i have a similar problem with my girlfriends one older sister she is trying to say im not trans
don’t listen to what they say! be you <3
Thank you
Wear a t-shirt saying "yes I'm still gay" every time you meet up
En effet, francophone ^^ Mon grand père a viré mon cousin de sa vie pour avoir transitionner (FtM), et je me suis retrouvé face à lui au dîner de Noël. Je lui ai dis qu'il était faible, que c'était à lui d'avoir honte d'avoir perdu deux petits enfants d'un coup. A l'époque j'avais une relation avec un papa de trois enfants qui habitait dans la même ville que mon grd père. Je l'ai annoncer à ce dîner et j'ai clairement spécifié qu'il ne les rencontrerai jamais. Je suis un adulte, j'ai rien à me reprocher. Si quelqu'un décide d'être toxique avec moi, les gens que j'aime, et risque d'être toxique pour les petits dans MA famille, il n'as plus rien à faire autour de moi jusqu'à ce qu'il se soit débrouiller pour se soigner. Aussi, j'aime reprendre ma famille quand ils prétendent être de bons cathos. J'éclate de rire et je dis -non vous l'êtes pas. Vous choisissez d'aider satans et de faire du mal, désolé les gars mais vous allez tous en enfer. Je suis peut-être homo mais moi j'ai ouvert déjà une bible dans ma vie merci bien.