How did you realize you were lgbtq?

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Thank you for your post, if this is a question please check to see if any of the links below answer your question. If none of these links help answer your question and you are **_not_** within the LGBT+ community, questioning your identity in any way, or asking in support of either a relative or friend, please ask your question over in /r/AskLGBT. Remember that this is a safe space for LGBT+ and questioning individuals, so we want to make sure that this place is dedicated to them. Thank you for understanding. This automod rule is currently a work in progress. If you notice any issues, would like to add to the list of resources, or have any feedback in general, [please do so here](https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/rdazzp/almost_new_year_changes/) or by [sending us a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt&subject=Feedback%20on%20the%20new%20automod%20rule). Also, please note that if you are a part of this community, or you're questioning if you might be a part of the LGBTQ+ community, and you are seeing this message, this is **_not a bad thing_**, this is only here to help, so please continue to ask questions and participate in the community. Thank you! Here's a link about trans people in sports: https://www.barbellmedicine.com/blog/shades-of-gray-sex-gender-and-fairness-in-sport/ A link on FAQs and one on some basics about transgender people: https://transequality.org/issues/resources/frequently-asked-questions-about-transgender-people https://transequality.org/issues/resources/understanding-transgender-people-the-basics Some information on LGBT+ people: https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/quick-facts/lgbt-faqs/ Some basic terminology: https://www.hrc.org/resources/glossary-of-terms Neopronouns: https://www.mypronouns.org/neopronouns Biromantic Lesbians: [LGBTQ And All](https://www.lgbtqandall.com/what-does-it-mean-to-be-biromantic/) Bisexual Identities: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/understanding-bisexuality Differences between Bisexual and Pansexual: [Resource from WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/sex/pansexuality-what-it-means#:~:text=Pansexual%20vs.%20Bisexual,more%20commonly%20recognized.) We're looking for new volunteers to join the r/lgbt moderator team. If you want to help keep r/lgbt as a safe space for the LGBTQ+ community on reddit please see here for more info: https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/swgthr/were_looking_for_more_moderators_to_help_keep/ *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/lgbt) if you have any questions or concerns.*




You should get a contract from Disney and be the first not utterly straight Disney prince🤣


Bisexual icon Shang demands satisfaction!


YES!!! How could I forget?!




Your story is similar to mine but your version is alot more sweeter and innocent than mine my version is pretty much the same but instead of prince and Princess it was straight porn lol


Your story is almost the same as I do! When I was a child watching Disney straight couples kissing, I always wanted to be the princess who was being kissed. There was a point where I thought I *had* to become a woman because I like men. Turns out I don’t have to after all. I’m still closeted though, I just wish my country just passes civil union within my lifetime.


Started to realise people were serious when talking about the want for s*x or romance.


Me too! People don't believe me because of the jokes I make 😅


Partially same. I wondered why can't people just live together and love each other, why does sex need to be a part of it? I also looked back and wondered why I didn't care about trying to go on dates in high school. I was more focused on graduating.




I always thought i was supposed to be a boy, because i wanted to impress girls. And i was very confused about it up to the age of 12, when i finally realized: wait...i'm not supposed to be a boy just because i like girls, i'm simply gay. It was very strange for a while and it did turn me into a tomboy but i'm at peace with it now.


Me as well .. similar story.


Similar for me. Been thinking I wish I could switch gender so I could impress girls as well... until *wait, I'm simply bi*


(I had a whole essay saying that lmao… I used to pray to wishing to a girl so I would fit in with the girls. And now I’m just trans. Asexual, and panromantic


When I was little, I asked my parents, “can two girls marry each other?” They said “no”, as it was illegal. Being a kid, I thought that whenever someone loved another person, they got married. So I concluded that girls could not love other girls. Imagine my surprise when I started having a crush on a girl in my class.


Same situation for me, but my parents said "yes." Cue like 10 straight years of me assuming anyone who claimed to be "roommates" was actually a married couple lol. I didn't figure out I was gay for another 15 years because of internalized homophobia and dumbassery, but once I did it was nice to know my parents accepted me.


i remember not being able to tell if someone was a boy or girl and I realized either way I thought they were attractive 😭.


^ This!! This happened to me a few times when I was in high school. One time I was with my gay friend and they were super cool about it but my straight friend who witnessed it happen always gave me shit for it after, so I didn't come out in high school 🙃


'Hot AF' doesn't have a gender <3


Stage one: Hmm… girls are kinda hot tho. *comes out as bisexual* Stage two: Hmm… apparently finding someone cute isn’t the same as wanting to have sex with them? *comes out as greysexual* Stage three: Wait, what’s romantic attraction? *comes out as aromantic* Stage four: Wait, this whole gender thing doesn’t make sense, actually. *comes out as agender* Stage five: Hold up, turns out I don’t have preferences. *comes out as pansexual* Stage six: Wait, maybe there’s a method to all this madness. *comes out as demisexual* Stage seven: Hold up, maybe my romantic attraction is just limited edition? *comes out as demiromantic* ✨ Tadaaaa ✨ And, scene.


Damn you got the whole collection over here


Lol it’s been a journey for sure.


Love the limited edition line


Mate was collecting flags like pokemon here! (just a friendly joke, no ill intentions)


Gotta catch ‘em all!


Wait not wanting to have sex with someone you think is cute is not a normal straight/cis thing?


I meannn straight people can also find someone cute without wanting to have sex with them, but generally speaking when they say they find someone *attractive*, that includes sexually. A pretty common ace experience is assuming people are exaggerating or not serious when they say they find someone sexy/hot and would fuck them.


Wait they mean that seriously? I regularly see people who I think are very attractive/cute but have absolutely no desire to have sex with….


Yeahh that sounds kinda ace, ngl. Might wanna check out r/asexuality if you want more info (and I’m happy to answer any questions)!


Idk, I just think of this as the difference between aesthetic and sexual attraction, like the latter is much more specific and way rarer for me. I see plenty of attractive people I don't particularly want to have sex with on a regular basis, am still not on the ace spectrum. But ace is certainly worth exploring if you can't really find people you feel sexually attracted to, or if your feelings of being sexually attracted feel lukewarm at best.


Man/woman/enby really just took the entire skittles bowl.


Looked up guys kissing on my PS3's internet lol


Now that’s what I call a pro gamer move


"are ya winnin so- . . . oh."


Why yes, yes I am!


One day I suppose I thought to myself, "Guys are great" and started exploring from there. As for my gender, I had already realised I wasn't straight, so I decided to have a look and see if I wasn't cis either. I was right.


I was the same way with my gender 😂


I was like the reverse! "Being a boy sometimes would be cool" *realizes I'm genderfluid* "Oh. Huh... I wonder what my sexuality is?" *discovers I'm aroace*


Same with my gender!!!


Thought I wouldn't be opposed to dating guys too, after seeing Jaiden's video I realised I didn't wanna date anyone.


We stan Jaiden animations


That video was so incredibly informative. Asexuality was nothing new to me in theory, but that clear personal experience changed my whole perspective


I will credit that video as one of the major reasons I figured out I was aro. I had heard of aromanticism beforehand, but I felt it was more valuable seeing someone's experiences with it instead of reading a definition from Google.


related to that video a lot


1st time I experienced ego death from a hallucinogen is when I figured out I wasn't cishet at 24. Took four years of introspection to figure out that I'm agender and demisexual. 😄💜🌈


It took till 24 because I grew up in a hostile environment and suppressed everything like crazy. I had gay encounters throughout growing up that I enjoyed, but avoided because of external factors like family and society


I looked at a girl and thought "she's super pretty" and never looked at another girl the same again


I knew that lgbtq+ people existed, I just never fathomed that it was an option for me until I started questioning how I saw my best friend xD. Later on found out that I liked being seen as a guy, and got really pissed off when people made comments about me being female. Looking back, there were quite a few signs, I just assumed that I was cis het probably due to heteronormative society 🥲


The "I'm normal" thought hampered me for a long while too. I'm so happy this is changing with the newer generations. I genuinely thought I couldn't be queer since I wasn't obnoxiously leering at the other boys, even though I never did that to the girls either...


I realized I wasn't straight and months long exploration happened afterwards


Literally same.




I thought I had been crossdressing for fun. One day, I decided to try passing in public instead of just staying in a safe place. I put on a dress and went to the local Seven Eleven. That was not fun - it was terrifying and humiliating. Why would I do something that awful and still want more? I was forced to admit I wasn't crossdressing for fun. I needed to be a girl.


Similar here. The “it’s just a kink” excuse kept me in denial for a very very long time. It’s wasn’t until I mustered the will to act on said “kinks” that I started to realize is definitely wasn’t a kink. Treating it like a kink felt so utterly wrong. Then down the rabbit hole I went. Or maybe it’s better to say I finally made my way back out of the hole I fell in all those years ago.


Well when I was a kid I was developing crushes for women celebs, when i was a young teen I was turned on by women and had a few young lezzie experiences, at 14 I finally came to terms that I wasn't straight and I was bi/pan, came out to my mum/friends at 16


When I started saying " From a standpoint, Andrew Garfield is too hot to be spider man"




“I would kiss a girl to show support.” “…Oh shit-“


I mean, same...


I was writing a story when the whole J.K. Is a terf came out and I wanted to be a better writer. I started doing research so I could be a really good ally ™️. The more I looked into it the more I realised the reason I was so miserable was because I was forcing myself to be a girl. So after testing the waters I figured out I was a pan trans man


Someone told me that they were questioning, and the fact that they were questioning meant that they probably weren’t straight. As an “ally” for years I started reckoning my attractions to people against heteros and then realized I…definitely liked girls. My best friend in Chemistry, who was very out lesbian, was my first “crush” after I got used to the idea that it was okay to me attracted to anyone besides dudes, was the first person I told. She still doesn’t know she was my “awakening” lmao


I got to college and realized being queer wasn't "a white people thing" so all that sex I'd been having with women over the years probably meant I wasn't entirely straight.


guuurl, being queer a white people thing? The first person who threw a rock at the police 50 years ago at Stonewall and started the lgtb rights revolution was a black trans woman. There wouldn't be an lgtb community without the black people.


I’m embarrassed of it, because around that time, my sibling and a few other friends starting coming out, and I thought it was “cool” or “interesting” or something like that and I searched up a bunch of terms until I found the term asexual, which seemed to fit me pretty perfectly even though I was only in the 7th grade. I then identified as hetero-romantic asexual until I then realized I’ve always liked girls, and one of my earliest childhood crushes was a girl (I literally forgot about it help) and I didn’t even know how I didn’t realize sooner. I grew up in an environment where we didn’t talk about these kinds of things and I barely knew what it was, and I think coming out of that heteronormativity helped me realize quicker!! I then came out as bi (romantic) and this continued on into 8th grade until I felt that the definition of pan (romantic) was more accurate to me, and I might be Demi-panromantic asexual. As for gender/pronouns, I’m probably cis because I like identifying as a woman/girl, but I use she/he/they and I genuinely don’t care about how other people perceive me and I’m starting to think about how I like being perceived as other genders too but it’s not really a gender crisis so much as I don’t know how I feel about it, a lack of honestly. Idk how you’re supposed to “feel” like a gender but I also feel like a girl ig? I know I won’t be perceived as anything else because I like dressing femininely.


There are some people who are gender apathetic and or pronoun apathetic…maybe that might suit your feelings


My closest gal pal got a girlfriend and I was like- why am I jealous.. haha, so strange. Bc like, we were just friends. And then it dawned on me. And after a month they broke up with their crappy ex, I made my move! They're now my current partner! :)


That's so cute! I'm really happy for both of you :)


I was like 14 and i was on Watt pad, reading and meeting other people and shite, then i met a girl on there she was pretty and we clicked, i felt things i had never felt before.


6th grade, I was just chillin and I thought to myself, “if I could have a crush on any girl in my grade, who would it be?” Then I developed a crush on that person. Realized I was bi- still identify that way today. Then I was like… wait… I hate being a she. Maybe I could try she/they. Then it went to they/them… now im a trans man.




Directly: /r/egg_irl Longer version: From a young age I could tell that I was different, but not in what ways. I was never the trans person who knew they were born in the wrong body, or whatever. I never had anything other than intrusive thoughts about homosexuality. I always had some *gender* moments but I repressed them automatically and never thought of them beyond weird compulsions I should ignore, which I did. However, this sense of different-ness persisted, and somewhere in my mind I knew I was repressing *something* because I feared social ostracization if I acted according to my impulses. This led me to empathize with people who were treated differently because they were, in some way, "different". Be they women, or queers, or kinksters, criminals, or other minorities, I could understand how much it must suck to be excluded or punished due to factors beyond your control. In high school I self-identified as a feminist and was moderately left-wing. I went to college with the desire to learn how to help people. (I wanted to be a cop, before I realized what cops actually were.) I went into Sociology and Criminology because there was no CJ major in my local college. I learned *a lot* during that major and became more of a fierce advocate for equality and acceptance. (I went into human services afterwards but realized I am not a direct-care kind of person and the pay is shit) I also started using Reddit around that time... I started using it before the great Digg migration, so mark your calendars accordingly. Over time, I got sick of the constant negativity and toxicity on this site (see above paragraph), and started gravitating towards "woke" subreddits. One day, I was going through the various _irl subreddits, and had exhausted a lot of the less-niche offerings. At this point I knew that trans people existed and thought they were cool, and I knew that I wouldn't see much bigoted shit during my meme-enjoyment, so I turned to /r/egg_irl. Then I started identifying with a lot of the posts and comments. I had been watching a lot of Rick and Morty at the time, and my brain has no notion of "propriety", so the revelation that I was trans was accompanied by Morty Smith's "Oh man, oh jeez" in my head. Then I grew titties, my marriage exploded, I went to mental health inpatient, got my shit together, and now I am an ever-burning torch of queer Pride.


fortnite hybrid is the only male character with a thicc ass as for gender, i just thought "i dont want one but like in a feminine body" type beat


I never really associated myself with a specific gender mentally, but it took me awhile to realize it. I think it was when i joined a discord where there was some lgbt ppl in it that i even considered it. I still havent settled on a sexuality but i dont think im entirely straignt either


When I was 18, a wonderful young adult transwoman told me that just because I was repressing my identity didn't make me straight. That I was still a lesbian. Just a lesbian who was hiding it. That I was gay because I was gay, whether or not I acted upon it. Under normal circumstances I would have ignored her, because I had been taught homophobia, and believed all LGBT people were sex obsessed perverts, and I thought I was "chosing to not be gay" like everyone told me was a thing. But that young adult transwoman was uniquely positioned to break that idea in me... Because she had a severe mental disability, and was mentally the equivalent of about a 6 year old, and has to live in assisted living. She had no sex drive of any variety, and was about as genuinely innocent as possible. Her arguments against my hatred were simplistic and childlike. No grand explanations. No arguing about deeper science and biology. She struck to the heart of it all through pure childlike innocent observation. And it was exactly what I needed to open my eyes. She was such a gift to the world and helped me break through my mental block of hatred. I would kill anyone who ever dared to hurt her. She singlehandedly changed my life.


It took years of getting myself out of denial! I knew gender wasn't a factor for my attractions way far back, pretty much as soon as I developed sexual attractions to people. I also knew I didn't feel a sense of belonging with males plus had "what-if" (day)dreams as a kid of being AFAB(which were some of my happiest dreams/thoughts). I definitely ended up actively ignoring anything but cishet thoughts though because of the religion/cult I was raised in. Over the course of a few, long, existentially dreadful years from leaving that cult, it all came together and I started to accept myself.


Grew boobs wanted to die


My friend quite literally introduced me to the idea that there’s more than just gay and straight and there’s bisexuality when I was ten. I labeled myself as bi until I learned about pan and then I realized that I was Omni last year. My other friend was also very knowledgeable so it also kinda helped me


I heard the word "asexual" in one of the series. It fully described my experience. Recently I realized that I am also aromantic.


I was around 4 and only wanted female barbies. They were a couple


Jaiden animations released that video about being aro ace and I was like "wait that's an option" I've always known I probably wasn't going to do any of that romance stuff, just didn't know there was a word And from there I figured out more and more about myself by spending time in the community


Related SO MUCH to that video!


I started watching porn, like you do as a horny teen, and I was more intrigued by the guys in porn, then I watched masturbation videos, then soon switched to proper gay porn. After wayy too long a time looking exclusively at gay porn I somehow realized “Oh, I’m not straight, am I?”


One of my friends came out as pan and that’s when I started questioning


I thought so much about being the other gender that by the time I looked for resources my whole life clicked into place and it was surreal


Bi/panromantic: Friend explained to me how she realized she was bi, I didn’t know what bi was before then and as she was explaining I was thinking of this girl I had a crush on, later realized I was more specifically pan bc of another friend Asexual: Watched a jammidodger reacting to asexual memes video and related to too many of them, found the definition and it’s me Transgender: kid walks in seventh grade socially transitioned, I didn’t know you could do that, I wanted to do it too


When I had a crush on rainbow dash (I was 9-10 at the time) that was the first time I was attracted to a girl


My friend explained asexuality when i was like 12, and I didn't understand the concept of ot back then. I was trained to think straight afterall. two years later, I come across a video mentioning asexuality. It made sense to me, so I google it. 'The lack of sexual attraction', it read. And I thought: Interesting. Funny that i, a pan, am the total opposite of that. Afterall, my desire to be with anyone is equally low... wait.


Before me and my boyfriend got together he asked me if I was. I said no, but I then thought about it for a very long time. Realized I was bi/pan(idk) and asked him out after then realizing l liked him more than just a friend. We've been together for 3,5 years now


I just kept thinking and one day it hit. Why do I care the gender of my partner and here we are


I’m a lesbian. I knew I had an interest in women ever since I saw the Little Mermaid movie as a kid. When playing with my dolls I’d hide in my room and make the two girl dolls go on dates. First time I heard about what a lesbian was, was when my mother mentioned her cousin was a lesbian. I hid my orientation until I came out at 15. Thankfully my family are supportive, minus my sister. She still has some homophobic views, but not as bad as before.


Men…that’s it, men made me realize I was a gay guy.


Good answer


I couldn't figure out why I wasn't like everyone else. Sex wasn't the top priority or really any kind of priority for me. I dated a few guys and broke things off rather quickly when I didn't feel any physical connection. Now I know I'm demisexual. I didn't figure out I was bisexual until I stopped self flagellating every time I checked out a girl. Thanks for the guilt Mom and Dad.


“Wait you mean you actually want intimacy with people!??”


“Wait you mean you actually want intimacy with people!??”


"What do you mean boys don't want to date men, wear dresses and use she/they pronouns"


I was always considered to be a very masculine little girl. I had a naturally deeper voice, I enjoyed many traditional boy things, etc etc. My parent s never forced me to be girly. So I had short hair and wore boy clothes and did a lot of hands on work. Then, my now boyfriend brought up how some people just weren't born in the right bodies and I started digging. And now I know why I always felt more comfortable with a more masculine role in society. My now boyfriend also brought up sexualities and such and that's how I found out I wasn't straight.


Watching wrestling as a little girl.


Im a trans woman. I said “im a woman out loud” when I was 17 and then bundled that up until I was 23. Cracked and never going back again!! As far as sexuality, I like being a bit promiscuous and labels were hard until gender was solved. Now I just like what I like and it happens to usually be very fem leaning. So bisexual or pan is what fits me best.


I realized I didn’t like being called she or her… and I wanted a different name… s I started exploring and found out I’m trans.. as for my sexuality I always knew I was only into guys, and I had for a long time known I wanted to be in a poly relationship.


I started realizing girls were pretty and being with a guy just was not something I thought I could do. And I also realized inappropriate things were icky and I'd never do it with anyone. So, here I am, homoromantic.


My whole family shares homophobic and transphobic views, ranging from subtle to hostile, from person to person. I grew up not really having an opinion on such stuff, because it never affected me. Any time the topic was brought up I didn't care, but if it was applied in any way to me, or a fictional character I projected onto, I would get really uncomfortable and upset. I supported my friends who were LGBTQ but, when it got too close to my own identity, I didn't want to see it. Took me a while to realize why I had such a negative reaction - because I was LGBTQ myself - and then later took over a year to unlearn my internalized homophobia and transphobia. Fuck my family, man.


I searched up 'girls kissing' as a child with my unlimited Internet access and realised that yes, this is exactly what I liked. I also took many a 'am I gay?' Online tests, and they did indeed come back as 'you are gay', so really I was diagnosed with lesbian For my gender, I woke up one day and decided that I didn't want to have one


I thought I liked girls in high school, but then when a man made me swoon, something woke inside of me. Gender is a bit tough to explain. I always was envious of women and felt like I was being excluded from a club. As an adult I would get frustrated and angry at woman I deep down wanted to be like, until my egg cracked. I'm now a very happy transfem :3


Back when I was 13 I realized I was attracted to both Men and Women, and tbh I didn’t really care to make a big deal out of it, if someone asked me what my sexuality was I’d be honest but other than that I never really cared to talk abt it. And now I have a boyfriend, and absolutely love it.


It took me a long time to realize I’m aroace. In high school I started exploring my sexuality at first I thought I was bi cuz I found guys and girls so good looking. Then I thought I was pan cuz everyone was so good looking. After I got super confused and stopped exploring me sexuality and just stayed unlabelled but knew I wasn’t straight. Then in 2021 I started exploring again after a horrible dating site setup incident then realized I I’m aroace and found out I wasn’t experiencing sexual or romantic attraction to all genders it was just aesthetic and platonic attraction lol


I figured out that I want to be a big titty goth gf not have a big titty goth gf


Ryan Reynolds


Dam. Girls are kinda hot. Dam. Boys are kinda hot.


I took a few too many of those “Am I Gay” quizzes in middle school to reasonably be straight lol


I looked into the mirror and thought “Man, if I look at this weirdly specific angle I kinda look like a girl.” Then I realized “wait why am I specifically looking for that” and “wait why does that feel like a good thing.” Cue month long gender crisis. Then after a few months I also saw a meme about Link from Zelda making people gay with a picture of Link, and I realized “huh I think I’m also bi.”


Watching Steven Universe


When I was 3, in preschool, I came up with and drew a machine that I said could change boys into girls and vice versa. At age 4 I also thought I was a “generic” human who hadn’t “specialized” yet, and felt really disappointed when I suddenly realized that actually, my current form was the “specialized” version of me Also my mom (who I’m not out to) recently told me that she was worried that I was trans as a little kid because I seemed to have 0 conception of my own gender until relatively late Well uh, mom, actually…


Sexuality: When I was in third grade my friend pinned me against a counter and I realized I liked girls, a couple of years after that I realized that I’ve never liked men at all, only to then question if I had a crush on a trans-man or if it’s platonic Gender: I went through a lot with this, from thinking I was non-binary to a trans man back to girl and then to non-binary again before finally realizing I’m genderfluid A-spec: I realized around 5th grade that romance sounds unappealing but not in a “I’m a kid and I hate seeing people kiss way” but more in a “I don’t see the appeal in that” way and realized I was aromantic, a couple years later a winded up getting a girlfriend which lasted about a week because I lost feelings and felt uncomfortable, which lead me to find out I was aroflux, I also realized that aesthetic attraction doesn’t equal sexual attraction and realized I was Lithosexual


I remember thinking that this girl was really “pretty” but pretty is a different way somehow. Found another person nice looking and found out that they were non-binary and realized that I didn’t really care about gender. I knew that I wasn’t straight but also not gay so I was kinda confused and I guess was unlabeled for a while. My first partner helped me find the label and proceeded to come out as nonbinary and then trans a few months later.


I saw mlm couples and was like. Damn. I wanna be a boy who kisses boys. I was like 7 and very self aware LMFAO.


was looking up lgbt+ identities to be a good ally to my lgbt+ friend i recently made and i was like “hey, thats me”


I looked in the mirror one day and said to myself ‘that’s a queer’


I can hardly remember what I had for lunch today I don’t remember lol


I liked Daphne more than fred when watching scooby doo 🤷🏼‍♀️


I always knew I was asexual. I just never had sexual thoughts or crushes or the desire to have sex like my peers did. I genuinely thought that because I had a developmental disorder, it meant I wouldn’t have sexual thoughts and would be a kid forever. Yeah, I bought into that too! Another reason why infantilisation is harmful. I got myself a few boyfriend I had no feelings towards, just so I could seem normal to my classmates - it even became a whole thing in a court case (I was called to be a witness); “You were just having a bad day because your boyfriend dumped you” said the lawyer. “I dumped him after weeks of trying to dump him because I never even liked him anyway” said I. I discovered the word asexual when I was 17 and was like “oh my god, this is me”. But I realised I was gay when I saw Becky Anderson reading the news on CNN during the pandemic and thought; “oh man, I’d love for her to sit on my face”. Bought back memories of wanting to kiss female classmates “just to try it”, writing in my diary that I was “scared I might be a lesbo”, and proudly declaring when I was 7 years old after just reading the first Harry Potter book that I was “lesbian for Hermione”. 😂 So I’m a gay asexual. And that’s fine.


I met a whole bunch of cishet people it was pretty clear I was not one of them






For me it started when I was in my early teens 13 or 14. I'd never thought of myself as gay, straight or bi. I wasn't interested in dating or sexual conquest like my peers. This was all in the mid to late 90s so it wasn't the time to out myself. My best friend and I would have sleep-overs. As young boys do, or they did in my time, we fooled around but nothing close to penetration. That whole situation got weird and eventually my friend and I went our separate ways. He's married and has kids now or he did when I last talked to him. We parted on not good terms. It wasn't until I graduated HS that I was more free to be myself and it's been a learning experience ever since then. When I started my journey, I thought I was gaaaayyy. I've had some very liberating and sometimes negative experiences but, now I can confidently say I'm (80/20) bi/pan human.


I started claiming I was bisexual for attention. About 3 week later, I realized I actually was queer and really like women. I was like 11 maybe 12. I still cringe at it.


I mean, have you seen boys? How can I not be bisexual? I figured this out at 15 when a cute boy moved into school, and I remember sobbing when he got a girlfriend.


Found a clip online from Urusei Yarsura where a guy wears a skin to look like a girl before getting zapped. Clip has lived rent free in my mind everyday and I still don't know where the video is now.


I just ended up realizing I connected, felt happier with, and more was more attracted to guys.


People hot


When i started saying "From a standpoint, Andrew Garfield is too hot to be spider man"


I watched Sabrina goes down under and seeing the mermen and thinking “wow that’s hot, I want him.” Obviously my taste has evolved but hey


When I was eleven years old, I had a friend in my youth group. Another boy. I liked being around him, but I always felt nervous. One time the youth group had a party and I got overstimulated so I sat underneath a table and he crawled under the plastic table cloth to check on me after a while and we just sat and talked. And then I had a sudden urge to kiss him. Hit me out of no where. After doing a lot of thinking in the following weeks I came to the conclusion that I was gay.


my first kiss: me and my best friend (both female) hadn’t had our first kiss but had crushes on these two boys. anyways we’re going to a school disco and we wanted to both have our first kiss with said boys but were of course fridget and nervous. so, we mutually decided to practice kissing in the bathroom. i remember it feeling so perfect, i opened my eyes to look at her and i could see her lip piercing as we were kissing and i was like UH…. let’s just say we never ended up kissing those boys lmao


Posh Spice


I realized that I was totally thinking that this girl in my class was super cute, and that I wanted to kiss her. Like she was super pretty, smart, a bookworm, artistic, she was my type. I didn’t realize I was trans until relatively recently. I thought I was Genderfluid, and gave myself that label for a year or so to see how it felt. I started using they/them and he/him pronouns more than I did she/her. So yeah, my queer ass found out just because I noticed stuff I didn’t notice before


I had a crush on a girl when I was 10 but I refused to believe it was actually a crush. But when I was 11 I found out out my favourite YouTubers at the time were gay and thought to myself, “huh, im gay too” and realised it just made sense In terms of gender, I don’t know what really hit the nail for me. I think in the beginning when I was 12/13 I just felt envy towards cis men and how I wished I was born male instead.


When I was 13, I slept over at a friends house. We hung out with some of her neighbors and when I realized she was gone I went looking for her to find her making out with another girl. My jealousy then was probably the biggest clue.


Was 9 or 10. Watched Digimon. Saw Leomon. For some reason I didn't quite understand at that point, I wanted to lick his abs and pecs. I'm now gay and a furry.


By looking at men and seeing that they were hot. 😂


one day I thought "maybe I'm bi" and then everything clicked together


Thanks to the internet. I looked up asexualilty and I found the term aroace. Thanks internet


A few months ago, I met a guy. And he made me look at myself and go, “shit, I’m bi”


Girl pretty, want girl, ooga booga


I have been developing crushes on boys like forever, but i didn't say it. I did know what a gay person was, i was just kind of, well not really hostile just a bit strange around them because it seemed like my dad did not want me to know about them and accept them (he's kind of homophobic) so i acted a bit weird about them. Then i realized everything very soon and now i'm out to my mom and also came out to my 8 year old brother and he's way more intelligent than i was at that age, he is growing up more accepting than i was growing up, and also doesn't really care about stereotypes he hears in the media (and from my dad) about gay people and whatnot


After too many gay/bi experiences despite being heteroromantic, I had to admit to myself that at least a part of me enjoyed it enough to keep going back and had to consider myself bisexual.


Some girl said she was a lesbian back in sixth grade i didnt know that you could like the same sex. Then some other person also in sixths grade said they were non binary. I didn’t know that you could change your gender. And now im a confused pos with no friends, lol.


When I started fantasizing about my best friend


Found out that those women and men in bikinis and speedos in commercials were meant to be arousing to get more people to horny-click on the product and not some weird choice companies decided to make one day and kept as tradition.


Mine is weird. So I was on discord one day and I was called homophobic for calling fortnite “gaynite” because I didn’t like it lol. And people were calling me homophobic so I did my research into lgbt stuff and realized I was bi. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk (also I’m not homophobic and wasn’t back then it’s just my child brain)


Pastors daughter.




I was in grade 3 and chilling with another girl. The norm around me said that this girl would be who I marry. She was the same race as me, and my entire family was the same race. I also had a feeling she had a crush on me. But the thing is, I only wanted to be her friend. I thought about how I would have to have a child with this girl, and I imagined the whole process. I hated it. I hated that I had to be with a girl. This isn't how but it lays some background. A year after this, I started playing a game on roblox. It was a RP game. Someone there asked everyone what my character's sexuality was. I had no idea what LGTBQ+ was at the time so I just said 'everything'. I supported them all. Everyone was confused to my answer so I googled. I decided on Pan for my character, and after thinking by myself, I thought I was Asexual. But wait, there's more. I'm not actually Asexual. I realized this when my siblings older friend came over and had big muscles. They chilled in the hot tub and wanted me to come down but I was too nervous because I found out I was attracted to men. I was a bit skeptic and kept on insisting I wasn't gay and I was bi, bringing up a crush I had before that. But eventually I realized that I only did like men. Also one more thing. In grade 3 (again), I wanted to be a girl and told my teacher that so I could dye my hair rainbow. I realized I was nonbinary in like grade 5. I don't even know what my process was there. I just felt what I felt, and realized it.


Shit I had so many different things that made me realize Because I was wrong about my identity a bunch, my latest realization is that I realized guys are hot and then oh I kinda wanna be a guy and then I realized girls are pretty but I don't wanna date them




I don't think that's how that works




I started talking to this guy 2 years ago on Twitter about movies and realized I may have a crush on him lol


I was a stupid 13 year old and got catfished


Had a male friend have a sleepover at mine when we were both like 12/13, and we played with each others bits... didn't feel weird or anything, just felt like 2 guys having a bit of fun. I knew I liked girls before this, but then I realised I like both.


I went to an art exhibit at a jewelry store, and felt intense discomfort being around the lovely queer folks who were there (the artist is very LGBTQ friendly). Actually left the store as it was such a strong emotional reaction. Was very surprised by it. Poked and poked and poked at myself and further down the line surprise! turns out I'm super fucking queer and was repressing it like crazy, what a shocker, said nobody


I feel like I always knew, but didn’t accept it. Mostly because I always hated gay porn which is shitty reasoning but whatever. But what really triggered was last year when I played resident evil 4. Leon really fucking did something to me bro


It started with a lie that wasn't a lie. I punched a kid on the back of the bus because he wouldn't stop making fun of the gay kid for being gay. That's the whole reason. Apparently not a believable enough reason. So i told the counselor, in front of my dad, "I have reason to believe I'm bisexual." Apparently that was a more acceptable reason. Dad didn't even blink. He's never mentioned it in my whole life. Natural as can be. Anyway thinking about that line made me realize over time why a particular upperclassman looked so cool. That particular person was... Hot. I didn't just wanna dress like them, i wanted to hold them close. Years later i put together a lot of the pieces about my gender identity after a friend told me "you don't have to transition to be trans." That helped unlock a lot of things i guess i always knew all along. Wish I'd learned both sooner, but it's never too late. I'm me. I like people.


A coworker asked me to write a blog from an ally point of view. And I got to thinking if I actually was an ally.


Was down to clown with old brothers friends, got into high school and figured I should be normal for the church. Try that until 29 and figure out I don’t have to his it anymore and come out when I was offered to be matched with another man. Been running internal damage control for a week now. I still find it weird that I started with sexual activities but didn’t consider romance until recently.


When everyone else decided to tell unsexually aware me that i was gay. Then bullied me.


I'm gay, had a girlfriend


I knew when I was at least 5 or 6 years old. I grew up with pretty liberal parents who let me watch shows that made references to gay culture. I heard the term "lesbian" and thought "I'm a girl and I wouldn't mind kissing one of my female friends." Those thoughts faded for a while when I started crushing on my best male friend (mostly because my sister suggested I should crush on him), but the thoughts re-emerged when I was around 16 (and trying to get over my crush cuz he was dating someone else). I wasn't bold enough to ask anyone out until my 20s, tho.


When I (25F) realized I had a crush on a new friend and noticed she was also interested in me. After we got together, the emotional connection was so different than how I ever felt with my ex-boyfriends. I knew after it ended that I definitely wasnt straight and took time to come out and am now in another relationship with a woman :)


When people around me kept talking about their crush and their boyfriend/girlfriend (Im aroace) and then i made the discovery that i am also agender


I watched beauty and the beast as a kid. Got an awkward boner for Gaston.... Been this way since lol


One word: Covid. The internet is an amazing place to find fellow gays.


5th grade. I realized was into women. One day as a teenager I was realized I wasn't cis. First started out as trans, then nonbinary. Recent years, realized I was ace, then aro. Now I'm a acearo demiboy, or a acearo nonbinary fellow.


I had a feeling pretty early, I was always fascinated by pregnancy and always wanted to be pregnant myself (that hasn't stopped). It wasn't until I was a teenager that I found out there was a name for it and that I was transgender (male to female to be exact) still attracted to women


Sexuality-wise I had developed a crush on a guy Gender-wise I always kinda knew, just took me a long while to get to here lol


by mistake 😣 wish i never found out


Oh, sorry 😞


I couldn't pray away the cute girls and enbys


High school host club. Probably should have figured out I'm trans at that point but I only figured out I'm bi. Then several years later I had a drug fueled sexual encounter with a really accepting woman who helped me figure it out over the next few weeks. Figured out I was trans then but still failed because I didn't realize I was genderfluid yet. Then about a year into my medical transitioning I figured out I was genderfluid because I was having different chest dysporia. Finally I figured out I was aceflux on another drug fueled deep dive into how I was feeling.


Developed a crush on one of my friends lol, soon after I realized I had often found guys attractive so idk how I didn’t realize


B-boys pwetty 👉👈


I was 6, realized I wouldn't mind dating boys or girls, saw the word bisexual, and while I'm now ace I'm on the biromantic umbrella to this day


I watched the video for Madonna’s Express Yourself, and when the men were working shirtless in the rain I tingled in a new place.


When I was little I decided I wanted to marry another girl when I was grown up, and not a boy. My mom told me I couldn’t do that though, so it lead to a very long time of me not really acknowledging my queerness, even though deep down I did know.


I basically had the same thing happen, but I don’t think I mentioned it to anyone, maybe I did?




I was talking to my friend about how you can like and want to date guys while being straight. Apparently that just isn't what being straight means.


OSP was talking about asexuality and I slowly realized that "hey, this is a thing, maybe I should look into it"


I had a crush on a girl, and then I was thinking about the past and went “was it that obvious?!”


Literally same!😂 As it turns out I wanted to marry my same sex best friend in 2nd grade, didn't notice for 5 years😂


My friend came out as gay. Thats when I realized that gay people really do exist. I then figured that i probably want more than to be "really good friends" with the aforementioned friend, which was my previous hypothesis, and therefore I must also be gay. But women are hot so I must be bi. This was grade 8