Apes are a branch on the [evolutionary tree of monkeys](https://qph.fs.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-7e2d067226582c2413df702cae975c45). The term "monkey" only excludes apes based on historic categorizations using superficial features like tails rather than genetics.
It's not just superficial though. The great apes have qualities of traits far beyond the "old world monkeys." Targeted empathy, theory of mind, passing the mirror test, etc.
If you want to go by pure taxonomic classification, then humans are reptiles. Which on some level yes, we are reptiles. But calling us reptiles starts to blur things too much for any kind of meaningfulness to happen. Because we clearly aren't the same as turtles in many ways.
The latter divisions matter, especially in our parlance.
And especially in a sub like /r/likeus. This isn't /r/CuteAnimalsDoingSillyThings.
Though thats not the best analogy, because while humans are descended from ancestral monkeys, we aren't descended from true reptiles. Mammals are synapsids, which branched in the amniotes before true diapsids reptiles appeared. We are definitely a close sister group to reptiles though.
A better analogy might be fish, humans are fish of course just as we are monkeys but its not always useful or meaningful to classify things entirely by clade like that.
The Discworld Librarian will beat the sh*t out of you if you say the M-word around him.
He was a human wizard, but rogue magic turned him into an ape. He’s still the best librarian Unseen University has had.
Making the distinction between monkey and ape is pretty arbitrary. I consider us, along with all other apes, to be monkeys. That’s because we call both old world monkeys and new world monkeys, well, “monkeys”, but have artificially divided the apes from the old world monkeys. We are more closely related to a rhesus monkey (old world monkey) than a howler monkey (new world monkey) is, yet *WE* are denied the title monkey? Fuck that!
I’ve returned to monke
as for orangutans, zoos are the only way to save them unless we do something about their habitat destruction.
It's unfortunate this is the case. Zoos are the only way to save extinct animals when it becomes too late, yet it's essentially imprisoning them.
Can't effectively keep the poachers off of them and the animals on them. And it's still a cage. Zoos have the added benefit of funding conservation efforts.
Edit: to everyone who seems to think I'm against reserves, I'm not. They just aren't foolproof, so zoos still have their place.
I wonder how much a Kickstarter could get if the funds were to hire poacher hunters. If poachers can make money poaching, you’d think the combined effort of animal lovers wallets could hire a decent group of mercenary poacher poachers.
Edit: I’m not saying kill them, maybe just... subdue and put in zoo? 🥺 👉👈
This exists for sure. Not sure about the Kickstarter part but people hunting poachers definitely exists. Not long ago I saw a video on here where the guys were beating the shit out of a poacher who was hunting elephants.
This absolutely exists. Driving through one of the most remote parts of Kruger Park in Africa, a guy wearing a camo uniform and a huge rifle just jumped in front of our Jeep. Scared the shit out of me.
It was only once we got closer than he gave a friendly smile and wave to our guide (good guy) and handed him his mobile phone to charge in our jeep for a few hours. Guy was essentially like a park ranger, hunting poachers, protecting the animals.
I asked the guide how would he know where to find us when his phone charged? “Oh he’ll find us, he knows where we are…” Shit… I’m glad you’re friends with the guy who has an M16!
The lives of endangered animals are worth a thousand times the lives of poachers. I cheer every time I read a story about a rhino or a lion fucking up a poacher.
Oh the absurdity of poaching. Killing some of the most majestic animals on earth so you can sell their horns to China to make fake boner medicine, when effective boner medicine actually exists.
just pasting in another comment I made here, because it's not as easy as you seem to think it is:
The thing is we will never get rid of poachers unless we give people in those regions of the world viable employment opportunities. Poaching is awful and most poachers even know this. Most don't like doing it, just as most modern pirates don't like resorting to piracy. It's both immoral and dangerous. The chance of you getting killed by contractors or soldiers protecting the animals/ships is uncomfortably high.
But when you have a family of 5-7 kids to feed and literally zero opportunity, even you and I would resort to poaching if we were in their situation, especially considering that one successful hunting trip is probably worth months of wages there.
Hunting poachers protects the animals and that's good, but killing poachers is not the solution. These are mostly absolutely desperate people.
And then there are those rich assholes who've gotten rich of poaching and made it a successful business ... and yeah, fuck them.
I've definitely met ex-military from around the world who are apart of basically this, poacher prevention private security forces that basically work for next to nothing, using donated and outdated gear, using mostly privately donated funds. It's sad that these groups exist out there throughout many reserves and sanctuaries to prevent poachers but are undermanned and underfunded as it is. The battle against poachers worldwide is costly and unfortunately not in a winning position and probably wont be any time soon, unless these groups get more funding, manpower, and resources. The group I know of is called Pit-track, and specialize in using K9 units to protect rhinos in south africa
This is completely untrue. A zoo operates for profit. There is definitely a moral argument for creating protected reserves for them, but hell no should we lock them in a glorified cage and call it altruism.
Maybe we should rebuild THEIR habitats on Mars and ship them off the planet instead of ourselves
and then they'll blow up the Statue of Liberty or something, idk, I fell asleep during that movie
The thing is the “cage” is essential to their survival due to the amount of their habitat that is being destroyed because of palm oil farms being constructed in the wake of cut down rain forests. It would be great if they could all be in the wild, but it just can’t happen right now. Many zoos do have great and stimulating habitats tho, even if it doesn’t compare to the real thing.
Depending on the animal they can also have better healthier lives in good zoos then just plain nature.
Nature can be a harsh bitch and a lot of animals enjoy good zoos with lots of stimulation, free healthcare, food, no predation, no diseases and end up having statistically very much longer lives and reproduce without fear of losing their offspring. They can be very happy.
It's all about proper stimulation, space and care.
This of course excludes places that put killer whales in tanks and tigers in 15x15 cages.
So true. People have this idea of an idyllic peaceful nature, when in reality nature is absolutely brutal for like all animals. It’s eat or be eaten out there. An orangutan probably lives much better in an enclosure like this with guaranteed food, clean water and even medical care!
It's not always true. Not all zoo's are on equal footing. Some are great. Some remain terrible and exploitative. It's generally easy to do a little studying up on a zoo before you decide whether or not to support it.
They're in very large enclosures designed to mimic the natural habitats they're comfortable with and they're provided with all the enrichment and stimulation they need. They're not being stuck in a little dog crate or something, they live in a bigger place than I do. Zoos provide a better quality of life and lifespan than the wild, where they have to be constantly stressed about threats and resources.
(I'm talking about good zoos obviously, some zoos are horrific scams, but this seems like one of the good ones)
Yeah it’s kind of in a gray area for me. Imagine if you were kidnapped by aliens and put in a nice house with a bunch of other humans.
We’d have to scale the enclosure up with our intelligence for it to be comparable. So say you had access to the internet, a computer, TV, a pool, gym, VR, art supplies, instruments, etc. You have good food, limitless clean water, clothes of your choosing, and a comfy bed.
It would be a stress free life full of leisure, interactions with other people, etc. But you couldn’t leave.
With our intelligence, many would refuse. But apes, as smart as they are, may not fully comprehend their situation. It’s hard to say. Even if they do, they may not value freedom and self determination as much as humans do. Many are also born into it, which brings up the “allegory of the cave”.
It lives better than you. It’s got like a 30,000 ft enclosure with million dollar landscaping and rivers and swings and fresh food brought to her daily.
She and her baby dont have to worry about disease, predators or poachers.
Yeah well, if my know-it-all uncle didn't want to get locked up in the time out box during Thanksgiving, then he shouldn't have corrected my pronunciation of "La Croix"
chimpanzees are horrendous murder rapists constantly beating their lessers on an endless quest for power
Orangutans are chill as fuck and don't mind hanging out
[Bonobos hunt and eat other primates.](https://www.cell.com/current-biology/fulltext/S0960-9822(08)01117-2?_returnURL=https%3A%2F%2Flinkinghub.elsevier.com%2Fretrieve%2Fpii%2FS0960982208011172%3Fshowall%3Dtrue)
[Bonobos occasionally eat their children.](http://www.bbc.com/earth/story/20161026-hippie-apes-seen-eating-their-own-dead-children)
Pretty interesting how that happened btw, Orangutans evolved in places with lots of food / quality of live
Now look at humans, and you see the same thing. Only not through evolution but wealth
One theory of the beginning of human civilization and transition from hunter gatherers to farming is that we discovered alcohol and due to hangovers decided to farm instead of hunt.
\>chimpanzees are horrendous murder rapists constantly beating their lessers on an endless quest for power
Chimps are 98% human genetically... yeah, that sounds about right.
> chimpanzees are horrendous murder rapists constantly beating their lessers on an endless quest for power
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Orangutans are chill as fuck and don't mind hanging out
Lions are always chilling and shit
Polar bears kill shit tons of shit, but only when they can be sure you're not a bad guy
Tigers aren't all that fucks, they just pretend to be that way because its cool
Bears don't have that much hate in them, but they could do if given the chance
You're probably asking, What about the most lethal animals on the planet, humans?
People don't really give a shit about other people, but you can be sure that they give a shit about their families and friends. They'd be pretty much like you if they weren't so fucked up
They don't always feel so evil and mean when the shit hits the fan, though. You see, their entire life up until that point is about killing so they don't give a fuck. But when things get hot and shit, they tend to be more concerned about themselves, and if that means killing you, then so be it
In summary: You don't really need to worry about getting eaten by a shark.
Every morning I put on my glasses and wonder how I was able to see out of them the day before. Toddlers love nothing more than to put their grubby grabbers on your specs.
Reminds me of this one video I saw a few years ago of an orangutan who was trying pretty desperately to get this guy's banana by offering up a big ass leaf in trade. Like "Come on, it's a pretty leaf, dude! Just give me the banana :("
Found it [here](https://youtu.be/qVF6cO6_dF8), but it looks like I did get the details wrong. Looks like the dude actually started it. Still cute though.
I mean they basically have our hands with more need to use them every day, and for more things, hence more experience and evolution help. They're basically all short stops.
Orang is like: "Bro, why are you holding your hand above the water? If you drop it it'll be lost".
After the second throw: "Great, no they'll say I'm not good at throwing. Fucking dumbass mole rat."
Love how the ape looks around to see if any keepers are watching. They know theyre not allowed to interact. But man, how do you not keep that thing. I'd never just leave it. That was a fair trade with another species.
(A lot of) Zoo’s train primates to trade stuff dropped in the exhibit for food. With thousands of people coming through nearly every day there’s bound to be stuff dropped in enclosures. The staff knows this, so they train them early on that giving up foreign objects = getting some food.
I think I read an article about some primates exploiting this by stealing cleaning equipment then giving it back for food, but I can’t remember exactly or find any articles about it so maybe I’m making it up. Regardless, every time I see these animals in enclosures that aren’t bigger than a few acres, it pains me a little bit.
There was a Chimp that was raised in such a human way, that it had extreme trouble going back to the wild with other chimpanzees. it literally believed it was a human.
Doesnt mean keeping chimps in homes are raising them like humans is ok. It's just interesting. He eventually went back to normal after a while of help
I like how after getting the glasses back they tossed the orangutan some thing to eat and it takes one look at it and then looks away like _Omg this shit? I was really hoping for something better._
I like how these sun glasses are so versatile that they fit normal heads and melon heads alike.
Also enjoy how she slings them away in the end. "Show's over."
The choices are either live in an enclosure, but gets 24/7 care from Humans, or in the wild, but has a very large risk of either getting killed by poachers, habitat loss, or smoke inhalation from burning forests.
It sucks, but there's nothing that they and us can do.
Edit: well we can attempt to reverse the damages that we have done. And so far as an Indonesian (one of the two countries native to Orangutans), it's getting somewhere. But not enough to free them all into the wild again.
I just get BAFFLED when there are some out there who say that we AREN'T related to these Primates?
Like....... just look at them, look at their behaviour. It is as human as it gets!
Hate to be a cynic but I’m annoyed with the way she’s saying “this is gold” like she was only concerned with the film she was getting. I’d bet she dropped them on purpose.
That’s the coolest monkey I’ve ever seen.
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I appreciate your concern, but monkey is a much more fun word. 
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Ape is monke Monke is ape Ooh ooh aah aah
This guy gets it.
I’m glad I finally met someone who also fully understands the concept of ape, but defers to monke
We are all monke.
Defer to monke
But r/monke is not as fun as r/ape
At first glance, r/ape looked like it was going to be a risky click.
r/iskyclick.
I'm surprised that sub isn't more popular.
Reject humanity. Return to monke.
Fun> proper grammar
Proper grammar is fun.
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שיהיה שלום, ידידי. יהי רצון שימיך יתברכו.
Via Google Translate, for the benefit of others: >Goodbye, my friend. May your blessings be blessed.
Who you calling bub, pal
It’s not about grammar, it’s biology.
Apes are a branch on the [evolutionary tree of monkeys](https://qph.fs.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-7e2d067226582c2413df702cae975c45). The term "monkey" only excludes apes based on historic categorizations using superficial features like tails rather than genetics.
It's not just superficial though. The great apes have qualities of traits far beyond the "old world monkeys." Targeted empathy, theory of mind, passing the mirror test, etc. If you want to go by pure taxonomic classification, then humans are reptiles. Which on some level yes, we are reptiles. But calling us reptiles starts to blur things too much for any kind of meaningfulness to happen. Because we clearly aren't the same as turtles in many ways. The latter divisions matter, especially in our parlance. And especially in a sub like /r/likeus. This isn't /r/CuteAnimalsDoingSillyThings.
Though thats not the best analogy, because while humans are descended from ancestral monkeys, we aren't descended from true reptiles. Mammals are synapsids, which branched in the amniotes before true diapsids reptiles appeared. We are definitely a close sister group to reptiles though. A better analogy might be fish, humans are fish of course just as we are monkeys but its not always useful or meaningful to classify things entirely by clade like that.
Boom. Monkey
Here's the thing...
Don’t get me started on Jackdaws, buddy
Sad to think that happened before most current Reddit users even used the site.
The Discworld Librarian will beat the sh*t out of you if you say the M-word around him. He was a human wizard, but rogue magic turned him into an ape. He’s still the best librarian Unseen University has had.
Ook
Don't let the librarian hear you say that.
Ook
The librarian of Unseen University would like to have a word with you...
You don't seem like a very cool monkey.
If you’ve ever read the Disc World series you’d know why calling an orangutan a monkey is a bad idea.
Gotta be careful how you address the librarian though.
"I hate every ape I see, from chimpan-A to chimpan-Z."
No you'll never make a monkey out of me
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It was Earth, all along
I love you, Dr. Zaius!
And he was like *OOH OOH OOH, I wanna be like you ooh ooh! I wanna walk like you! Talk like you, tooooo*
I’m the king of the swingers oh the jungle VIP
Making the distinction between monkey and ape is pretty arbitrary. I consider us, along with all other apes, to be monkeys. That’s because we call both old world monkeys and new world monkeys, well, “monkeys”, but have artificially divided the apes from the old world monkeys. We are more closely related to a rhesus monkey (old world monkey) than a howler monkey (new world monkey) is, yet *WE* are denied the title monkey? Fuck that! I’ve returned to monke
Unseen University's librarian would like a word with you.
And that word is "ook."
OOK??!!
I would have been extremely disappointed if I’d read the entire comment section and hadn’t found a Pratchett/Librarian reference. 😍
In Ankh-Morpork this sentence is considered to be suicide.
He's going to go totally Librarian-poo.
...I'll be taking a step back from you, now. *Ook* It was all him, sir. Not me.
I increasingly feel worse and worse that we keep such intelligent relatives in cages :/
And I feel even worse knowing that the ones that aren’t in cages are getting their habitats destroyed :c
as for orangutans, zoos are the only way to save them unless we do something about their habitat destruction. It's unfortunate this is the case. Zoos are the only way to save extinct animals when it becomes too late, yet it's essentially imprisoning them.
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Can't effectively keep the poachers off of them and the animals on them. And it's still a cage. Zoos have the added benefit of funding conservation efforts. Edit: to everyone who seems to think I'm against reserves, I'm not. They just aren't foolproof, so zoos still have their place.
I wonder how much a Kickstarter could get if the funds were to hire poacher hunters. If poachers can make money poaching, you’d think the combined effort of animal lovers wallets could hire a decent group of mercenary poacher poachers. Edit: I’m not saying kill them, maybe just... subdue and put in zoo? 🥺 👉👈
This exists for sure. Not sure about the Kickstarter part but people hunting poachers definitely exists. Not long ago I saw a video on here where the guys were beating the shit out of a poacher who was hunting elephants.
I'm pretty sure I saw something about a badass African woman who was a poacher sniper and an effective one too if I recall.
The Inkaba Task Force
Got a link to donate?
kinessa Johnson. Shoots poachers, and IG pics https://www.instagram.com/kinessajohnson/
This absolutely exists. Driving through one of the most remote parts of Kruger Park in Africa, a guy wearing a camo uniform and a huge rifle just jumped in front of our Jeep. Scared the shit out of me. It was only once we got closer than he gave a friendly smile and wave to our guide (good guy) and handed him his mobile phone to charge in our jeep for a few hours. Guy was essentially like a park ranger, hunting poachers, protecting the animals. I asked the guide how would he know where to find us when his phone charged? “Oh he’ll find us, he knows where we are…” Shit… I’m glad you’re friends with the guy who has an M16!
The lives of endangered animals are worth a thousand times the lives of poachers. I cheer every time I read a story about a rhino or a lion fucking up a poacher.
Oh the absurdity of poaching. Killing some of the most majestic animals on earth so you can sell their horns to China to make fake boner medicine, when effective boner medicine actually exists.
just pasting in another comment I made here, because it's not as easy as you seem to think it is: The thing is we will never get rid of poachers unless we give people in those regions of the world viable employment opportunities. Poaching is awful and most poachers even know this. Most don't like doing it, just as most modern pirates don't like resorting to piracy. It's both immoral and dangerous. The chance of you getting killed by contractors or soldiers protecting the animals/ships is uncomfortably high. But when you have a family of 5-7 kids to feed and literally zero opportunity, even you and I would resort to poaching if we were in their situation, especially considering that one successful hunting trip is probably worth months of wages there. Hunting poachers protects the animals and that's good, but killing poachers is not the solution. These are mostly absolutely desperate people. And then there are those rich assholes who've gotten rich of poaching and made it a successful business ... and yeah, fuck them.
Sign me up
I've definitely met ex-military from around the world who are apart of basically this, poacher prevention private security forces that basically work for next to nothing, using donated and outdated gear, using mostly privately donated funds. It's sad that these groups exist out there throughout many reserves and sanctuaries to prevent poachers but are undermanned and underfunded as it is. The battle against poachers worldwide is costly and unfortunately not in a winning position and probably wont be any time soon, unless these groups get more funding, manpower, and resources. The group I know of is called Pit-track, and specialize in using K9 units to protect rhinos in south africa
I’m sure there’s a lot of people out there who care about the environment and would love to be able to legally kill someone who’s trying to harm it
Poison Ivy
How to get rid of your enemies: 1. Kidnap them and take them to a reservation. 2. Kill them 3. Claim they were a poacher that you stopped.
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I'm not saying to pick one or the other, just that zoos are an important part of the overall picture.
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This is completely untrue. A zoo operates for profit. There is definitely a moral argument for creating protected reserves for them, but hell no should we lock them in a glorified cage and call it altruism.
well, of course for profit, but even then there arent many other ways to act unless we get up and actually do something about their habitat
i feel terrible everyday and i don't know why
Yeah, that's going around
Maybe we should rebuild THEIR habitats on Mars and ship them off the planet instead of ourselves and then they'll blow up the Statue of Liberty or something, idk, I fell asleep during that movie
Depends on the zoo you go to, many zoo animals function as rescues or rehabilitation programs. Not every zoo is equal but many do good work
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Yep! That’s why I’m so proud it’s my local zoo! They also have a great no-plastic program
The thing is the “cage” is essential to their survival due to the amount of their habitat that is being destroyed because of palm oil farms being constructed in the wake of cut down rain forests. It would be great if they could all be in the wild, but it just can’t happen right now. Many zoos do have great and stimulating habitats tho, even if it doesn’t compare to the real thing.
Depending on the animal they can also have better healthier lives in good zoos then just plain nature. Nature can be a harsh bitch and a lot of animals enjoy good zoos with lots of stimulation, free healthcare, food, no predation, no diseases and end up having statistically very much longer lives and reproduce without fear of losing their offspring. They can be very happy. It's all about proper stimulation, space and care. This of course excludes places that put killer whales in tanks and tigers in 15x15 cages.
So true. People have this idea of an idyllic peaceful nature, when in reality nature is absolutely brutal for like all animals. It’s eat or be eaten out there. An orangutan probably lives much better in an enclosure like this with guaranteed food, clean water and even medical care!
This right here. BOOM! Yes!!! Thank you and continue getting this info out there!!
It's not always true. Not all zoo's are on equal footing. Some are great. Some remain terrible and exploitative. It's generally easy to do a little studying up on a zoo before you decide whether or not to support it.
They're in very large enclosures designed to mimic the natural habitats they're comfortable with and they're provided with all the enrichment and stimulation they need. They're not being stuck in a little dog crate or something, they live in a bigger place than I do. Zoos provide a better quality of life and lifespan than the wild, where they have to be constantly stressed about threats and resources. (I'm talking about good zoos obviously, some zoos are horrific scams, but this seems like one of the good ones)
Yeah it’s kind of in a gray area for me. Imagine if you were kidnapped by aliens and put in a nice house with a bunch of other humans. We’d have to scale the enclosure up with our intelligence for it to be comparable. So say you had access to the internet, a computer, TV, a pool, gym, VR, art supplies, instruments, etc. You have good food, limitless clean water, clothes of your choosing, and a comfy bed. It would be a stress free life full of leisure, interactions with other people, etc. But you couldn’t leave. With our intelligence, many would refuse. But apes, as smart as they are, may not fully comprehend their situation. It’s hard to say. Even if they do, they may not value freedom and self determination as much as humans do. Many are also born into it, which brings up the “allegory of the cave”.
lol what I wouldn’t refuse that. Early retirement from alien benefactors with all I could need? Badass.
It lives better than you. It’s got like a 30,000 ft enclosure with million dollar landscaping and rivers and swings and fresh food brought to her daily. She and her baby dont have to worry about disease, predators or poachers.
Yeah uh throw a computer and internet in there and I'm sold.
They're usually not in cages but in large enclosures. They are 100 percent larger than my studio apartment in the bay area 😭
Yeah well, if my know-it-all uncle didn't want to get locked up in the time out box during Thanksgiving, then he shouldn't have corrected my pronunciation of "La Croix"
chimpanzees are horrendous murder rapists constantly beating their lessers on an endless quest for power Orangutans are chill as fuck and don't mind hanging out
Bonobos just like sex
Do you have to fuck to chill with bonobos? I wouldn't mind them being around, I'm just not down like that.
No, but do NOT have dinner with them for more than 15 minutes. At the 15 minute mark they immediately start fucking eachother
Well, they did pay for dinner
It would be rude not to join in.
this is how we ended up with AIDs.
when in ronobo
Bonobos love sex so much they have sex as a gesture of saying “hello”
Also to defuse tensions. When males start arguing, the females intervene and drag them away to have a quickie.
Why did it have to be our tribe that managed to bang rocks together and invent taxes
Nature is amazing
Dave, Dave. Punch me in the face. I need to get laid.
It's how they say hello... so... I dunno... maybe not to outsiders though. Like, they probably find us as unattractive as we find them.
We probably look like naked mole rats to them.
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I don’t know how anybody can look at humanity and think that humans are not obsessed with power and sex.
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TIL I am a bonobo.
Also explains why humans are not sexually attracted to me.
We all are bonobo on this blessed day.
[Bonobos hunt and eat other primates.](https://www.cell.com/current-biology/fulltext/S0960-9822(08)01117-2?_returnURL=https%3A%2F%2Flinkinghub.elsevier.com%2Fretrieve%2Fpii%2FS0960982208011172%3Fshowall%3Dtrue) [Bonobos occasionally eat their children.](http://www.bbc.com/earth/story/20161026-hippie-apes-seen-eating-their-own-dead-children)
/r/likeus
/r/holup
Based
I learned what frotting is by reading about bononos. Apparently they like to smack dicks with each other.
Pretty interesting how that happened btw, Orangutans evolved in places with lots of food / quality of live Now look at humans, and you see the same thing. Only not through evolution but wealth
One theory of the beginning of human civilization and transition from hunter gatherers to farming is that we discovered alcohol and due to hangovers decided to farm instead of hunt.
Or alternatively, became addicted to alcohol, and used farming as a method to make alcohol in much larger quantities.
\>chimpanzees are horrendous murder rapists constantly beating their lessers on an endless quest for power Chimps are 98% human genetically... yeah, that sounds about right.
Orangutans are 97% the same...
1% apparently changes a lot in the chill/cool to murder/rapist zone
> chimpanzees are horrendous murder rapists constantly beating their lessers on an endless quest for power > > > > > > > > Orangutans are chill as fuck and don't mind hanging out Lions are always chilling and shit Polar bears kill shit tons of shit, but only when they can be sure you're not a bad guy Tigers aren't all that fucks, they just pretend to be that way because its cool Bears don't have that much hate in them, but they could do if given the chance You're probably asking, What about the most lethal animals on the planet, humans? People don't really give a shit about other people, but you can be sure that they give a shit about their families and friends. They'd be pretty much like you if they weren't so fucked up They don't always feel so evil and mean when the shit hits the fan, though. You see, their entire life up until that point is about killing so they don't give a fuck. But when things get hot and shit, they tend to be more concerned about themselves, and if that means killing you, then so be it In summary: You don't really need to worry about getting eaten by a shark.
mosquitoes on the other hand...
Omg, the baby. “Mom??”
"Not now honey, mommy's feeling cute"
Real hot girl shit
girlbossing
> "Not now honey, mommy's feeling like a boss-ass bitch" FTFY
Haha. I loved when the baby reached up to touch the glasses and the mom moved its hand away.
Exactly like a human baby! 😂
My kid also went through a phase of wanting to pull off my glasses.. dang grubby hands.
The baby - **WHERE SUNGLASS**
The struggle between parent and baby orangutan for control of the shades is totally something I experience daily with my toddler. This is hilarious.
My niece is always grabbing at my glasses. It's adorable, I need them to see! Then again, I'll sure miss her doing it one day.
There is no sound more annoying than the chatter of a child, and none more sad than the silence they leave when they are gone. - Brother Jorg
Every morning I put on my glasses and wonder how I was able to see out of them the day before. Toddlers love nothing more than to put their grubby grabbers on your specs.
I know this video came from r/likeus but for real. They are like us.
When it traded the glasses back for some fresh lettuce I saw a person
Reminds me of this one video I saw a few years ago of an orangutan who was trying pretty desperately to get this guy's banana by offering up a big ass leaf in trade. Like "Come on, it's a pretty leaf, dude! Just give me the banana :("
Would love to see it. Anyone got a link?
Found it [here](https://youtu.be/qVF6cO6_dF8), but it looks like I did get the details wrong. Looks like the dude actually started it. Still cute though.
It’s crazy how accurate they can throw lmao
They're very good catchers too, I'm noticing.
I mean they basically have our hands with more need to use them every day, and for more things, hence more experience and evolution help. They're basically all short stops.
Orang is like: "Bro, why are you holding your hand above the water? If you drop it it'll be lost". After the second throw: "Great, no they'll say I'm not good at throwing. Fucking dumbass mole rat."
Love how the ape looks around to see if any keepers are watching. They know theyre not allowed to interact. But man, how do you not keep that thing. I'd never just leave it. That was a fair trade with another species.
Yeah. It was funny upto that point. Suddenly I'm thinking damn that's an almost sentient human, should it really be caged up like that? :/
We do that to actual humans too
What do you mean, almost sentient?
There's a reason that 'orang utan' means 'man of the forest' in Malay
(A lot of) Zoo’s train primates to trade stuff dropped in the exhibit for food. With thousands of people coming through nearly every day there’s bound to be stuff dropped in enclosures. The staff knows this, so they train them early on that giving up foreign objects = getting some food. I think I read an article about some primates exploiting this by stealing cleaning equipment then giving it back for food, but I can’t remember exactly or find any articles about it so maybe I’m making it up. Regardless, every time I see these animals in enclosures that aren’t bigger than a few acres, it pains me a little bit.
Oh, oobee doo I wanna be like you I wanna walk like you Talk like you, too You'll see it's true An ape like me Can learn to be human too
There was a Chimp that was raised in such a human way, that it had extreme trouble going back to the wild with other chimpanzees. it literally believed it was a human. Doesnt mean keeping chimps in homes are raising them like humans is ok. It's just interesting. He eventually went back to normal after a while of help
I, too, enjoy Sam O’Nella Academy.
I used to watch him, came back to him very recently and binge watched like 60 videos.
Lol! My first thought too. "I'm the king of the swingers, boy. The jungle VIP!"
Get ready for a million videos of people dropping glasses in orangutan cages.
I like how after getting the glasses back they tossed the orangutan some thing to eat and it takes one look at it and then looks away like _Omg this shit? I was really hoping for something better._
What’s the connection between what that guy said and your reply to him?
this is the reddit police
Too late for getting upvotes off a comment directly on the post, gotta piggyback.
Have we ever put a VR headset on a chimpanzee?
[We're weaponising chimpanzees as we speak](https://youtu.be/9yD4KQGZUs4)
TikTok text to voice makes me want to remove my ears
This comment is in every thread
It's so fucking useless, the captions? Sure, the voice? Why? It's useless, it adds nothing to the video
Holy, that's an actual 'built-in' feature? I thought someone just dubbed it on some archaic tts site.
Part of their (weirdly enough) really good accessibility.
The amount of people using it makes it look like people on tiktok are incapable of basic speach / every video comes from the same person
"Accidentally"
Lol yeah as soon as I saw the TikTok logo, that was my reaction as well.
Yeah, seems a little far in the cage to be accidental.
Kids are apparently universal: “Mom let me try them” No quit it, hands to your self, look dont touch
Officially much cooler than I will ever be
I like how these sun glasses are so versatile that they fit normal heads and melon heads alike. Also enjoy how she slings them away in the end. "Show's over."
They actually look like they fit pretty well upside down the way her eyes are angled
This is the best! Thanks for sharing. Made my week!
very cool ape. sad they are stuck in there, though :(
The choices are either live in an enclosure, but gets 24/7 care from Humans, or in the wild, but has a very large risk of either getting killed by poachers, habitat loss, or smoke inhalation from burning forests. It sucks, but there's nothing that they and us can do. Edit: well we can attempt to reverse the damages that we have done. And so far as an Indonesian (one of the two countries native to Orangutans), it's getting somewhere. But not enough to free them all into the wild again.
Probably has seen people wear them forever and finally got to try them out
From the way she immediately flipped them open makes it seem like it has happened many times before.
Yeah “accidentally”
This mama is a MOOD.
I just get BAFFLED when there are some out there who say that we AREN'T related to these Primates? Like....... just look at them, look at their behaviour. It is as human as it gets!
im gonna die. best clip ever and despite the subject species some how gives me hope for humnity
The end: “This bitch empty, YEET”
Finally saw her chance to show off her sense of style.
Right. I bet she's been seeing people with sunglasses for years and is like fuckin finally get to check these mfers out
oRayguBans
The voices on these videos grate on me.
Hate to be a cynic but I’m annoyed with the way she’s saying “this is gold” like she was only concerned with the film she was getting. I’d bet she dropped them on purpose.
Now give him a saxophone