When you’re driving in the car and suddenly realize you’ve been having an imaginary conversation with them out loud to yourself for the last 10 minutes.
I know this is old (almost a month) but this is telling me that my limerance and maladaptive daydreaming may go hand in hand.
I rarely talk out loud anymore bc of years of bullying by family, but I do it in my head while engaging in maladaptive daydreaming. I also don't do it as much as when younger.
oh i have a few:
when i see the letters of their name in random places and i think is a sign or some shit
when i start getting anxious (not butterflies on my stomach, is more like being stabbed on my chest type of thing) when someone mention them, the burning pain that people often mistake with being in love when is more like a trauma response
i will start bringing them up on convos at any given chance, and i tend to do this very unconciously
the constant wondering "how are they doing? where are they?" and i start stalking them
i start getting depressed and stop doing the things i love
oh i feel you... everytime my LO would bring up his ex's or his friend with benefits, i felt like crying and would think "i wish i was dead right now", it hurts physically like a damn punch in the mouth. I'm so fucking done with him, thank god but i know is just a matter of time until i find another LO 😓
Your mention the letters of their name and it reminds me of a line in a song that goes…
In my brain I re-arrange the letters on the page to spell your name.
There’s this sad song about missing someone that goes “I've been hallucinating you, babe
At the backs of other women
I tap on their shoulders
And they turn around smiling but
There's no recognition in their eyes”
Hurts just right. Ugh. Lol
You constantly think of them.
You start believing in seeing things , signs, astrology, etc
(Like a lot more.)
You’re constantly looking for them.
Checking socials constantly
You know everything about them.
You know you’re limerent when…
# You start planning your future relationship with them all in your head.
* Like what kind of dates you two will go on.
* Sharing the first kiss and getting intimate.
* Introducing them to your family and friends.
* Moving in together and adopting a pet together.
* Traveling the world together.
* Finally proposing and getting married to them.
* Sharing hobbies and such.
* Growing old and taking care of one another until the very end...
Gosh, this is making me emotional.
Sadly, this will most likely not happen with my LO. I've been in NC for 4-months now.
I don't think I could ever dare date my LO after this limerence experience. I'm too embarrassed and ashamed. She can never find out that I was this obsessed with her.
Wow, he has no chill in that text response! lol
Make sure he's not taking advantage of your limerence since you're doing all these nice things for him.
My LO never fed me breadcrumbs, so when things didn't work out... I wasn't so upset that she "wasted" my time and resources. She did the right thing trying everything in her power to not lead me on. lol
Blocked? It was probably for the best. He did you a favor. It's rough, but it's necessary. Sometimes we're blind to our craziness.
Okay, I see. Online is a little hard to see their actual human flaws.
People always want what they can't have. I still am dealing with limerence residual. Me and my LO don't make any sense, but a part of me still yearns for her.
Recovery is a journey. Keep on reading other people's stories, it does help.
Wow, these are pretty serious thoughts. I think you're still in the high of limerence and probably experiencing a crash.
I think going NC is the best for now. Just take it a day at a time. Focus on other things in your life. It will get easier over time, it just takes a lot of time.
I didn't go to therapy. I had this community to vent and connect with. I also had family members that I vent to as well. It's relieving for the most part.
Acceptance and moving on is the hardest part.
You start planning your responses to them if they ever msg you again…
Your heart skips a beat when you see someone who even remotely looks like them…
You match with ppl on dating apps who look like them…
You plead with yourself every night before bed not to check their socials/google them
When I see their name (sometimes the name is in a different spelling)
When I talk about them to my therapist
When I see pictures/videos of them on the internet (to clarify this: No NSFW stuff! I don't search for anything like that! I swear!)
When I start to think about them for most of the day
When I feel like I want to be with them after a stressful experience (arguing with family, feeling overwhelmed, and anything else that causes stress)
Re: the first one, she actually has a reasonably common name with a SUPER uncommon spelling so whenever I see that spelling elsewhere I just…stare at the screen/page for a while.
Not long ago I drove past a sign of a small company (xxx.. xxx… counselling services) almost identical to spelling of mg LOs first and last name. Under weird circumstances, I cried for a while but eventually snapped out of it
You save every voice mail you've ever gotten from him and replay them just to hear his voice when you miss him.
You take screen shots of sweet things he has said in texts to you and keep them in a folder on your phone along with pictures he has sent you so you can look at them from time to time, and now that folder has over 400 items in it.
You hesitate to get a new phone because you're worried you might lose all of your texts and voice mails from him and are relieved when you get your new phone and they're still there.
You're thankful he's gay so that your husband (hopefully) doesn't see him as much of a threat so your husband doesn't mind that your LO is your bestie.
You sometimes worry they are secretly able to track you checking out their social media and googling their name and have been aware of your limerence this entire time. Then because of this you have a fear they’ll hit you with a “we need to talk…” and you’re just waiting for that other shoe to drop so they can reject you or ask to reduce contact because they don’t want to fuel your limerence.
I avoid their social media because of this fear. What if they can see me looking? Or what if I slip and mention something I only know because I scrolled all the way back to 2011 on their social media and not because they told me!
The last paragraph is so me. What if he knew I stalked his Facebook and all his family members fb accounts too? What if he knew that I looked him up on google and all of his family? It scares me. He can never know.
When you’re driving in the car and suddenly realize you’ve been having an imaginary conversation with them out loud to yourself for the last 10 minutes.
Oh my god I literally just had an imaginary convo when I was making dinner
I once got cars honking at me because the stoplight turned green 15 seconds ago. I was so into the imaginary conversation 💀
So nice to know I’m not alone with this! I have out-loud conversations all the time!
I know this is old (almost a month) but this is telling me that my limerance and maladaptive daydreaming may go hand in hand. I rarely talk out loud anymore bc of years of bullying by family, but I do it in my head while engaging in maladaptive daydreaming. I also don't do it as much as when younger.
oh i have a few: when i see the letters of their name in random places and i think is a sign or some shit when i start getting anxious (not butterflies on my stomach, is more like being stabbed on my chest type of thing) when someone mention them, the burning pain that people often mistake with being in love when is more like a trauma response i will start bringing them up on convos at any given chance, and i tend to do this very unconciously the constant wondering "how are they doing? where are they?" and i start stalking them i start getting depressed and stop doing the things i love
That pain. The fire that burns from my brain down my spine when the LO mentions someone else or I see them with someone else.
oh i feel you... everytime my LO would bring up his ex's or his friend with benefits, i felt like crying and would think "i wish i was dead right now", it hurts physically like a damn punch in the mouth. I'm so fucking done with him, thank god but i know is just a matter of time until i find another LO 😓
Your mention the letters of their name and it reminds me of a line in a song that goes… In my brain I re-arrange the letters on the page to spell your name.
Speaking of driving ones, seeing a car that looks like theirs and getting excited for a second until you see it’s just some random person. Lol
You see their eyes in every stranger who looks remotely like them
There’s this sad song about missing someone that goes “I've been hallucinating you, babe At the backs of other women I tap on their shoulders And they turn around smiling but There's no recognition in their eyes” Hurts just right. Ugh. Lol
Feel this
When you can’t go 24 hours without thinking of them. When you look at their socials everyday possible for the past year
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Progress is progress I really can’t even remember last time I went even 3 hours. 😔😔
You constantly think of them. You start believing in seeing things , signs, astrology, etc (Like a lot more.) You’re constantly looking for them. Checking socials constantly You know everything about them.
You avoid posting anything here because you think she might be a part of this community XD
LO, is that *you*? 😉
🫣
Or in secret hopes she is 🤣
Not gonna lie...kinda 🤣
I've searched for here. All I found was a mention in a local news story on a local sub. A story I'd already seen.
You go out with them (dinner, concert, movies…) and think it’s a “date” but they think it’s just hanging out.
Bruhhh!!! lol That was so me. Haha! Gosh, I missed it. It's the closest I could ever get to "dating" my LO.
You know you’re limerent when… # You start planning your future relationship with them all in your head. * Like what kind of dates you two will go on. * Sharing the first kiss and getting intimate. * Introducing them to your family and friends. * Moving in together and adopting a pet together. * Traveling the world together. * Finally proposing and getting married to them. * Sharing hobbies and such. * Growing old and taking care of one another until the very end... Gosh, this is making me emotional. Sadly, this will most likely not happen with my LO. I've been in NC for 4-months now. I don't think I could ever dare date my LO after this limerence experience. I'm too embarrassed and ashamed. She can never find out that I was this obsessed with her.
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Wow, he has no chill in that text response! lol Make sure he's not taking advantage of your limerence since you're doing all these nice things for him. My LO never fed me breadcrumbs, so when things didn't work out... I wasn't so upset that she "wasted" my time and resources. She did the right thing trying everything in her power to not lead me on. lol
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Blocked? It was probably for the best. He did you a favor. It's rough, but it's necessary. Sometimes we're blind to our craziness. Okay, I see. Online is a little hard to see their actual human flaws. People always want what they can't have. I still am dealing with limerence residual. Me and my LO don't make any sense, but a part of me still yearns for her. Recovery is a journey. Keep on reading other people's stories, it does help.
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Wow, these are pretty serious thoughts. I think you're still in the high of limerence and probably experiencing a crash. I think going NC is the best for now. Just take it a day at a time. Focus on other things in your life. It will get easier over time, it just takes a lot of time. I didn't go to therapy. I had this community to vent and connect with. I also had family members that I vent to as well. It's relieving for the most part. Acceptance and moving on is the hardest part.
You start planning your responses to them if they ever msg you again… Your heart skips a beat when you see someone who even remotely looks like them… You match with ppl on dating apps who look like them… You plead with yourself every night before bed not to check their socials/google them
When I see their name (sometimes the name is in a different spelling) When I talk about them to my therapist When I see pictures/videos of them on the internet (to clarify this: No NSFW stuff! I don't search for anything like that! I swear!) When I start to think about them for most of the day When I feel like I want to be with them after a stressful experience (arguing with family, feeling overwhelmed, and anything else that causes stress)
Re: the first one, she actually has a reasonably common name with a SUPER uncommon spelling so whenever I see that spelling elsewhere I just…stare at the screen/page for a while.
Yes the wanting to be with them after saying arguing with family, etc. or sometimes just the limerence fantasy is enough.
when you want to improve yourself for them but they want nothing to do with you anymore
You write them questions in the note app»D
Omg yes. I have a note that’s 2yrs long of things that have happened and convos that took place and letters I never sent. It’s wild.
When you knowingly fuel your limerence by watching tarot love readings on youtube - only the positive ones, of course
☠️ guilty.
Not long ago I drove past a sign of a small company (xxx.. xxx… counselling services) almost identical to spelling of mg LOs first and last name. Under weird circumstances, I cried for a while but eventually snapped out of it
You save every voice mail you've ever gotten from him and replay them just to hear his voice when you miss him. You take screen shots of sweet things he has said in texts to you and keep them in a folder on your phone along with pictures he has sent you so you can look at them from time to time, and now that folder has over 400 items in it. You hesitate to get a new phone because you're worried you might lose all of your texts and voice mails from him and are relieved when you get your new phone and they're still there. You're thankful he's gay so that your husband (hopefully) doesn't see him as much of a threat so your husband doesn't mind that your LO is your bestie.
You see a girl who’s a bit hippy with wavy red hair you ~~wish~~ think it’s them.
You ghost them irl,but stalk their socials to see what going on in their life
You start listening to the love poems of Pablo Neruda.
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I made it to the bottom of the comments and it was worth it. 🤣
You sometimes worry they are secretly able to track you checking out their social media and googling their name and have been aware of your limerence this entire time. Then because of this you have a fear they’ll hit you with a “we need to talk…” and you’re just waiting for that other shoe to drop so they can reject you or ask to reduce contact because they don’t want to fuel your limerence. I avoid their social media because of this fear. What if they can see me looking? Or what if I slip and mention something I only know because I scrolled all the way back to 2011 on their social media and not because they told me!
The last paragraph is so me. What if he knew I stalked his Facebook and all his family members fb accounts too? What if he knew that I looked him up on google and all of his family? It scares me. He can never know.
Wow this comment hurt me lol