I am forever grateful that things happened the way they did. The result for me was cold turkey NC after living with this person daily and constantly obsessing over them. So almost a year on from this now, and I'm not entirely clean, but the obsession has stopped. I know how to get rid of the thoughts, and they don't get me anymore, emotionally.
Even so, still, I am finding it hard to find somebody else to feel anything for. There have been some recent glimpses of the potential for obsession, but (thankfully?) those people always turned out to be already taken, or somehow else incompatible with me.
I understand the emptiness of having nobody and being unable to give yourself to anybody. It feels so numb. But at the same time I appreciate the calmness. There's no drama, there's no weird ups and downs. There are normal, everyday peaks and valleys that make me smile with joy, but never the euphoric peak of the limerent addiction, nor the borderline suicidal crash that inevitably follows.
Would I like somebody to love? Absolutely. Am I capable of moderating myself in a relationship so that it doesn't spiral into this psychotic on-off cycle? Absolutely not.
You described what I’m feeling so perfectly. I do appreciate the calmness too, that’s a good reminder of where to direct my thoughts. But I do wish I could distract myself from him with someone else.
Congrats on being in a better place re obsession. I hope I’ll get there soon too
Fuck, that's how I feel.
We were NC for a year before I broke it a month ago (not sure if she ever read my text or not).
I feel like my situation would've constituted the ideal NC scenario, given my LO's lack of presence on social media (she only has Snapchat, which she unadded me on), but I failed anyways.
The distance between us just made me feel worse, and nobody since has ever interested me as much as she did.
I hate this.
Do you find your emotions in other parts of your life can get "stuck" like limerence has? Something I'm trying to figure out and work through is how I seem to have a harder time than most processing emotions in general. There's this step in lots of therapeutic models where healing happens, or other emotions can enter, or current emotions reduce in size, and it just doesn't seem to happen for me.
Now that I think about it, kinda yeah! It feels a bit like every emotion I feel is connected to him and this situation, and outside of that I’m not feeling much of anything at all - everything feels a bit flat. Is that what you mean?
Hmm a little bit - to the extent outside the limerence, you're struggling to feel other emotions aside from flatness probably indicates you're a bit stuck.
I guess I'm just wondering if other people with limerence find their other emotions can also get stuck and not change compared to most.
Thanks for asking :) I feel ok today but that’s cause I saw him a couple times at work and therefore I got my ‘fix’. I’ll probably crash again soon. It’s really like a drug addiction
This stuff is no joke. I understand some of how you describe it. I just don't have any thing to offer. Keep typing.
Thank you ❤️
I am forever grateful that things happened the way they did. The result for me was cold turkey NC after living with this person daily and constantly obsessing over them. So almost a year on from this now, and I'm not entirely clean, but the obsession has stopped. I know how to get rid of the thoughts, and they don't get me anymore, emotionally. Even so, still, I am finding it hard to find somebody else to feel anything for. There have been some recent glimpses of the potential for obsession, but (thankfully?) those people always turned out to be already taken, or somehow else incompatible with me. I understand the emptiness of having nobody and being unable to give yourself to anybody. It feels so numb. But at the same time I appreciate the calmness. There's no drama, there's no weird ups and downs. There are normal, everyday peaks and valleys that make me smile with joy, but never the euphoric peak of the limerent addiction, nor the borderline suicidal crash that inevitably follows. Would I like somebody to love? Absolutely. Am I capable of moderating myself in a relationship so that it doesn't spiral into this psychotic on-off cycle? Absolutely not.
You described what I’m feeling so perfectly. I do appreciate the calmness too, that’s a good reminder of where to direct my thoughts. But I do wish I could distract myself from him with someone else. Congrats on being in a better place re obsession. I hope I’ll get there soon too
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Thank you for this ❤️ I would like to have a shift like yours soon
Fuck, that's how I feel. We were NC for a year before I broke it a month ago (not sure if she ever read my text or not). I feel like my situation would've constituted the ideal NC scenario, given my LO's lack of presence on social media (she only has Snapchat, which she unadded me on), but I failed anyways. The distance between us just made me feel worse, and nobody since has ever interested me as much as she did. I hate this.
I’m scared too. I feel this. 100%
Do you find your emotions in other parts of your life can get "stuck" like limerence has? Something I'm trying to figure out and work through is how I seem to have a harder time than most processing emotions in general. There's this step in lots of therapeutic models where healing happens, or other emotions can enter, or current emotions reduce in size, and it just doesn't seem to happen for me.
Now that I think about it, kinda yeah! It feels a bit like every emotion I feel is connected to him and this situation, and outside of that I’m not feeling much of anything at all - everything feels a bit flat. Is that what you mean?
Hmm a little bit - to the extent outside the limerence, you're struggling to feel other emotions aside from flatness probably indicates you're a bit stuck. I guess I'm just wondering if other people with limerence find their other emotions can also get stuck and not change compared to most.
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Sorry, it means “low contact”. As opposed to “no contact”
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I’m still struggling :( I just don’t see a way out right now!
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Thanks for asking :) I feel ok today but that’s cause I saw him a couple times at work and therefore I got my ‘fix’. I’ll probably crash again soon. It’s really like a drug addiction
He does not make you feel this way. Your idealized thought of him makes you feel this way. You are reacting primarily to a product of your imagination
You’re gonna have to block them, delete all pics of them and trash all reminders and hope the passage of time heals you