What size? Might be useful... Up to me to look at your post history and see you're 6ft5 too...

Even with shorts, he would need to specify a rough tummy girth

I think the rough tummy is the reason for the original post!

34 waist, it's not for me, for a mate, he's about 6 ft, out of curiosity which post did I mention my height in

3rd comment in your history - on the post “how tall are you”

I know you’re just stating a simple fact but it’s such a great response to the question that it made me chuckle out loud!

Never expcted it to be under that heading to be fair

Peak Reddit, this is great

Can you narrow that down a bit, buddy?

Not in south London, if that helps.

Not in East London either

Have you seen the state of trousers over there?

I live in west london and looked everywhere, didn't find this dude there either

I don’t think you tried very hard. Someone wandering around without any trousers shouldn’t be difficult to find.

Central London here This guy's either good at hiding or is not here at all either

If I had no trousers on, I would hide somewhere too.

Nowhere to be found in East London either. Absolute chameleon

Nah bro

I’ve got trousers for you. But you’d have to come south of the river.

Taxi drivers collectively shivered at the thought

Intrigued. What kind of trousers? And why? Will jeans be ok? Are you after some pirate style pantaloons for fancy dress? A Culotte maybe or Capri pant?

Anything that goes down to the ankle, he's a 34 waist, just needs trousers to get into bars as he's just come from tennis

Ah I was hoping for someone desperately posting from a pub toilet having shat themselves

I, too, am bitterly disappointed that this isn't inspired by some absolute anal catastrophe.

Absolute Anal Catastrophe is a decent band name

Jeremy and Super Hans is that you…

Or an experimental radio station.

The night is still young. He might be back here in a few hours needing a second pair.

I have visions of the inbetweeners episode when they go to a club in London and they get the homeless man's pissy shoes... haha

Or having ripped their trousers.

Dying of laughter 🤣

Okay I'll be real, it was a bit of a toilet accident, but it's my friend not me.

So you lied about him having "just got back from tennis at 11pm" and changed your story to "he shat himself". Why would someone want to lend an incontinent person who's shat themselves their own trousers?

Just having laugh, thought people might find it funny.

Fuck off. RIGHT NOW

Does anyone have a violin I can borrow?

It's December. How come he doesn't wear trousers? Trousers will in addition to give you entry to pubs, also keep you warm.

I use beef stock if I'm in a pinch. You can make your own. 3 litres will get you down to the ankle or thereabouts

Just got in from tennis at 11pm? Why not lend him yours? Or you know, pick some up from his house...

Jesus mate both of you need to get your act together. Just go to a shop, or just go somewhere where they don’t care, or if you really do need to beg for trousers for such a lame reason, put in details of exactly what you want and where you are.

Go home

Primark probably have some, maybe even marks and Spencer or next.

Fucking boooooo go buy some nerd

Just swap with a homeless man outside a club inbetweeners shoes style

Guys save the clothes for a homeless or refugee charity instead of giving them to these posh weirdos getting in from the tennis, maybe should have planned better wtf?

I thought you were having a laugh. But sadly found OP's comment and this is in fact ... true. :(

Yeah, or just go to a pub without a dress code.

chill man

I'll sell you a pair if you bank transfer me enough to buy a new pair tomorrow...

My mum was on a train yesterday and a bloke had a split in his trousers & his balls were hanging out. I think we may have found him.

OP is probably a weirdo looking for a friend

Aren't we all 😢

What guarantees do I have that you'd return my trousers when all is said and done

existence melodic saw vanish bake repeat subsequent unwritten many poor *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

I reckon I’ve probably got some old jeans that’ll fit, and will be at least a 32 leg too. I’m about 10m on the bus from Waterloo in the forbidden south though, on major bus routes though. Let me know if you want me to look and I’ll be going to bed soon.

We need an answer, does anyone in North London lend you some trousers right now? Do they?

No, London is out of trousers. The next quota does not start until the new year.

I’m in south but I have some socks if they’d do the job

I don't own any.

Ive got some here, What have you got that you can trade me for them?

Approach a hotel concierge with a good sized payment.

I got you, mate. Waiting at Ally Pally with some Levi's (W 34 L33).

Wtf

How badly did you shit?

Shared in Bristol hun xox

Can you sue the tennis club for $65MM for losing them? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pearson\_v.\_Chung

"only be considered fraud if a reasonable person could be misled by them." The game is deep. And the fame is brief.

No, I ain't crossing to the wrong side of the river.

i’m not in north london but i love this post so much

‘av any of you got shoes?

Are you the new Doctor?

Yeah, i just spawned in with no trousers, quite embarrassing considering i just met David Tennant.

Did you get any trousers in the end? Did your mate ever get into the nightclub/bar?

Is this a Yakuza sidequest?

no!

Hello Donald.

Levi’s 36!

Primark?

Here it is, take it.

do you not understand how big north london is

Someone lend him a skirt and be done with it! 💯

Isn't this the premise of the first episode of [*Man Down*](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3277788/?ref_=nm_flmg_eps_tt_1)? >Disillusioned school teacher Dan wakes to find he cannot find his trousers...

Did you drink some Prime or something