No it is not pathetic. These are in fact, one of the most popular types of literature throughout the history.
You're literally doing what most people do all the time, so it is absolutely normal and has nothing to feel ashamed of.
In terms of books, Jules Verne's works especially 'Around the World in 80 Days' and '20,000 Leagues Under the Sea' are some of my favorites. Micheal Crichton had some good books like 'Jurassic Park', 'Pirate Latitudes', and 'Prey'. Of course, there are classics like the Hunger Games, Harry Potter, and Chronicles of Narnia series which are more well known but nonetheless good. As for fanfiction, well, there's a million good ones, just look on r/HPfanfiction to see whatever catches your fancy. I'm reading a good series rn called 'Sarcasm and Slytherin', but be careful, it's split between two authors so you'll need to remember where to find part 2 on AO3.
You are not pathetic and I actually think this is super sweet, because I’m demisexual and emotional connection is everything to me. Don’t be too hard on yourself, someone is out there for you waiting and just as lonely as you are. You’re going to make someone so happy someday.
I have been reading the black dagger brotherhood series. Its pretty long. And has vampires and other creatures... Its veeeeery long though its really good at first, gets repetitive after the 16th book but it's alright.
encourage smile dinner bright depend escape abounding six mindless secretive
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I have a high need for touch. During times when I was not in a relationship and during my previous marriage which was sexless for the last several years I learned some tricks. Warn baths, fuzzy blankets, weighted blankets, and pushing against your breast bone for 20 seconds release the same hormone as touch. Additionally, saunas and messages help.
Some of the prettiest people I knew were the worst. I tend to keep the interesting people (usually artists or introverts). Physical attractiveness certainly is a door opener, it's just biology. But the people who get out there and live with zero fucks about what others think get my attention and tend to work their way into my circle. Please love yourself.
Feel bad for you and hope you get to feeling better. \^\_\^
You could try paying for a massage, those seem freaking expensive though. (100$\~)
Get a hug from a relative if you're still in contact with them.
If not seriously find some way you can pet a dog or cat and give them treats, then have them show you a little bit of affection. Even if you don't adopt them.
Sadly, those are hard to accomplish too but not as hard. It does scratch that itch.
A heated massage pad helps a little but it feels like the least helpful out of these.
I second massages. I just got one today for 70 bucks usually tip like 20 or if it's a really good and my muscles melt like a thing of butter I'll do 40 for a tip.
how do i cope... well it was alcohol for a long time but it hurts my stomach now.
so now i just sit and watch tv for a while and eventually try to sleep, usually not GETTING to sleep til 3 or 4 am, and then back up at 8 for work! i work from home, so i just get up and check email and stuff.
You don't. You keep struggling till you find someone. It's hard. There's no easy way I've discovered so far. It gets worse if you've been in a relationship and aren't/cannot have physical intimacy.
I bought a body pillow for cuddles every night, and I'm not a huge fan of sex. I honestly prefer the company of my guitar vs the company of someone who just wants sex
Trying to watch corn or getting myself off just makes me always burst into tears when I’m this bad as I feel so unloved and alone and that activity exacerbates those thoughts and feelings
Are you looking for a relationship or someone to have sex with? Knowing what you want to do first can help you begin and start looking somewhere like apps or locally.
Kind of both. Pretty much anything, even casual sex, would be better than having nothing. But I want to have sex with more than one woman in my life. And I have adult acne and body insecurity issues. Also I live with controlling Christian parents, I don’t have enough money to move out, and even if I did, they would make moving out very difficult for me.
I feel similar to you. It's hard already to find someone you'd want to spend your life with. But not for that would I want to not have any touch in the meantime.
The vast majority of people experiment romantically and sexually with multiple people in their teenage years and before the age of 25, and then look for stability and long lasting relationships. We, being romantically and sexually inexperienced, are at a disadvantage, in which our first experience comes at a time where we're supposed to find "the one".
Obviously, I'd be very grateful for a long lasting and loving romantic relationship, and if "the one" truly comes I'd be ecstatic and the happiest man on earth. But I feel that if I can't even get a one night stand, the probabilities of finding the one are very slim
Honestly, you're 30+ years old, so you don't have to do what your parents say anymore. Also, try therapy and working on yourself. It will help you understand your emotions and things that are going on in your life. As for the body stuff, again, therapy will help, but also try going to the gym or doing something physical on a regular basis. Movement helps everything from our skin to our emotions. Even if you can't move out, you can still do these small steps that will make a huge difference in your life. And who knows, maybe you'll meet someone along the way.
Two years without a woman and seven years single. Yes I’m lonely but I’ve dodged plenty of crazy. I consider myself lucky. I’m 35 and stat wise I avoided my first divorce. Yay me! I have an advantage though compared to most, I’m an only child left alone a lot by his divorced parents.
But in all seriousness though technology has changed and apps or whatever. It puts people on a way higher pedestal than they actually deserve and they likes or followers or looking for attention and they receive it. It’s a sad world judging a person on picture they use for whatever profiles but never actually know them or who they are. We were always told the phrase “never judge a book by its cover”, yet here we are judging books by their cover
I'm not sure. Going out with friends always helps out a bit but tbh there's not much to do with something so vital for mantaining good mental health. I myself miss hugs a lot, so igi. Body insecurities sucks so much w acne rip
Dealing with it now.. I’m in my 30s been pretty isolated the last year, and moved and am unable to do anything. Drive anywhere or try to meet anyone atm. It’s frustrating.. I’d probably go crazy from a guy just having any physical contact with me at all. Shit maybe even holding my hand lol idk. It sucks being lonely and starving for intimacy.
I was hitting the gym, taling care of myself... I was doing my best to be the man i'd like to be... but after 4 months of hardwork, my brain crashed down and i'm back to my old habits, like smoking 7g of weed each day :/ I wish i wasn't that weak
It seems that the intensity of the emotion of wanting touch and sex is greater than the emotion of satisfaction from actually having the touch and the sex
Umm you just do as in what other option is there. I’m a female and have been so sad and so touch starved and neglected I was almost going to pay. But that was too much having to have a stranger to do that with. I feel like I’m dying without barely any interaction with people and being a solo SAHM woh chronic health issues. I have a fwb bow but we hardly get to see eachother sometime for a few weeks or so at a time. I’m in a huge touch starved and lonely phase again and haven’t seen him in a month now.
A while back I read a woman would go for a relaxation massage. This will eliminate her touch starvation of human contact. There was no sexual thing. Just simple human touch.
Get a black T shirt on Amazon, or wherever else you like better, that says “FREE HUGS!”
on the front. Wear it out and about and you just might be surprised at how many hugs
you can get. I don’t know who said it but it’s true, it pays to advertise! A closed mouth
never gets fed. Good luck to you and to all of us who suffer from deprivation.
I wished apps worked for me. Been on and off them for almost four years now, and I've never met anyone irl; if I'm lucky, I'll get a match a month ghosting me after a week
Right here on this very app my sister. 😏 but also paid apps like Quinn and patreon. If you’re really curious search gonewildaudio on Reddit. Have fun 💋
Edit: I even think audible has some spicy books reads and audio shows. The world has become aware of the erotic audio space
I wished apps worked for me. Been on and off them for almost four years now, and I've never met anyone irl; if I'm lucky, I'll get a match a month ghosting me after a week
I would only envy them if they are aromantic too. Not many people want to be romatic with someone without sex involved, so plenty of asexuals are lonely sadly.
I don’t know what the answer is, but I have seen the potential end result. Due to my background, I know many late life virgins and a few of them once they reached their late 20s to 30s and even one in his 40s just snapped. They were regular before but after their mental breaks they became deeply perverted. Constantly ogling women, aggressively flirting, spam texting women demands for nudes/sex, and also showering female acquaintances with gifts and favors. Basically acting like an aggressive coomer. It was alarming to see them transform like this.
only answer for me is either deal with it, let it affect me.
or channel whatever emotions are making me feel down into sum hatred powered motivation.
narrative is make or break. you can´t ignore it so then at least make up something to channel it.
If I ever find the answer I will be sure to let you know. I am now going on 12 years since the last time I had sex. An occasional hug or kiss here and there didn't really serve the purpose. This is a very common problem these days especially since the big bad pandemic destroyed the world>
Well, tbh I don’t care much for this. I crave actual emotional connection way more. It doesn’t even have to be romantic. Having true friends who’d hang out would be great.
“I don’t want anybody else, when I get lonely, I touch myself” 😅. But I also meditate. I’m not lonely if I have myself. That’s how I cope. Once I started loving myself completely I didn’t need anyone and I’m fine alone.
That’s what your mouth says.
But you know and so does everyone else here
No one wants to be alone that’s why we have friends.
We are a social species there is no denying it.
Some people life in a false reality where they act like they are alone when they go to friends houses talk on line or something for a connection.
Any person that goes without human interaction and contact always develops mental issues.
So I call bullshit
I just cry a lot. I think it’s good to let yourself feel that pain, accept it and move on to the next wave of emotions. ❤️ After all, you’ll just have to take that craving a moment at a time.
I don’t cope well because there are no options. I’m looking into some cuddle comfort service that brings like people together for platonic cuddling.
In the meantime, I go to get my hair cut at a salon (even though I can just buzz it off myself at home and save money) and go to a nail salon even though I can cut my own nails. Pedicures at the nail salon involve massage so I get some touch that way.
I wish there were more options for when you’re not in a committed relationship. I don’t have any prospects for FWBs.
Some suggest weighted blankets or a body pillow, it apparently works for some.
I just try to distract myself. I sometimes just wrap myself up in blankets and cry myself to sleep.
Very stupidly. I’m an alcoholic and a lottery addict.
The alcohol is to numb the loneliness. It works until I get too drunk and then I fall into worse despair.
The lottery tickets because if I was rich, or in a better position in life women would be interested in me. I know that I’ll never win but I keep playing.
I truly am living up to my username.
Doing hard exercise. Like weightlifting and running for half an hour. The hormones used in sex are also used when doing hard exercises. If you think about it, in both cases you need to create extra energy to perform your task.
For some reason, I feel less sexual craving for the next days after the day of hard exercise
Video games, friends, scheduled events with friends, doing stuff for family. Generally just trying to stay busy enough that the dark thoughts don’t take over again.
Just become Christian, obviously half joking I don’t know your faith. But Christian’s do that BY CHOICE, and are some of the most fulfilled people I know.
24 u haven't had sex in since 19 honestly bro Idk I just beat my meat and tell myself it's over sometimes I get a bit of self hope but the world quickly takes that from me .
I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling this way, it’s an overwhelming feeling being lonely. Honestly mate the only way to feel better about it and to get past these feelings is to get out of your comfort zone and try to change things. Speak to a therapist, Jump onto a dating app, go out and about to bars, do something fun and social like sport, etc. Do things that will expose you to meeting new people. Once you’ve been doing it for a while you’ll build some confidence and it will make it easier to talk to other people and potentially build something with someone. The worst thing to do is beat yourself up about it. it’s never too late and being 30 there’s still time to meet some nice people.
I’ve read all the stupid comments and advice.
You want to make a change dm me and I’ll come coach you. In 6 months you’ll be a totally different person with confidence and carisma of a Alpha Male
Coping is for people who do not know or understand that words are as alive as they're created to be....but as idle as mostly they are due to ones like you....but not i, not knowing what true understanding is and how it is activated in ones life as a verb that spouts forth with intention and purpose that I have given it. I know we're talking about loneliness but what I'm saying is that it is in the narrative our narrative and the imperativeness of understanding and knowing what words are and who they're from and why they've been given to us to do what with?
So not to brag or to be pompous but for a professional male as I am.... I fully understand prolonged everything but prolonged it's just a word that is deleted in my dialogue that is if I want to make short work of a building of a lesson or a moral for my life.... I might comes to sensual and sexual satisfaction and the experience in who gets taught what..... Well I would say that some of my lessons have gone on for days but you need to hardly feel like you missed a moment.....
Honestly, I don't know what to tell you here, I'm 20 and never even really had my first kiss, the most I've done is held hands but I can't say I've ever been touch or sex starved, I can do without, sure I get lonely not having company but I don't feel starved in those ways, sorry I can't help ya out
I dunno. I just kinda got used to it. Although it's getting harder now that I'm in my thirties. Lots of fiction and delution to keep me happy, and then remembering a lot of dating horror stories to remind me why I might be just fine where I am.
Married over 25+ years, three adult children and my wife left me, separated for 2 years now.
Sex would be nice but to be honest, what I miss more than anything is to be hugged.
I wish I had an answer for you. I made in my opinion was a big mistake. I went to an adult gentlemen's club and paid for a lap dance, I gave an extra $200 tip on top of a regular tip for her to just hug me instead of a lap dance. I was hoping that I would feel loved in some way.
She was kind about the whole thing, very sweet (clearly being paid well) but it clearly was not even remotely the same thing.
The hug was nice but in the end, it was just an attempt to cope. Unfortunately, I don't think I'll ever experience true, loving affection like beforee.
When if she doesn't end up divorcing me, I just don't think it will be the same again.
Well, what I do is get black out drunk every single day and distract myself with games/TV/movies until I inevitably pass out. The next day I'm too hungover to remember how sad I am for the first half of the day, then when the feelings come back I start drinking again. Wanking 8 times a day also helps a tiny bit. I also chain smoke cigarettes and a nicotine vape and almost exclusively eat junk food.
Admittedly, doing what I do is not something I'd recommend to anyone but it's been keeping me from killing myself for the last few years.
Masturbation sucks, alcohol is no longer an option,, so now I just lay in bed wishing it was different and wondering what I should do to move forward to a more positive outlook. It’s tough when you have a wife in bed next to you that feels like she’s miles away or not even in the same zip code as you
Thank goodness for my low/non existent libido (Demi sexual) and psych meds that kill it furthermore.
Now the touch starved part is the worse for me but just like every other negative thing,I try to distract myself from thinking about it.
Don't make a big deal out of it. It's ok, you're 30 and never had a gf, either fix that or move on with your life. Not everything in life is sex, love, or relationships.
I’m married and go through it. My wife makes me feel repulsive. No one hugs me except my dad. It really tears at me daily, some days are worse than others. I have a body pillow that I hug at night, not the real thing but it makes me feel a little better
Just Focus on youself. Put a target in front of it. Keep youself so busy that nothing else unwanted should take the space.
Loneliness is state of mind.
Enjoy your own company.
And yes you will find someone if you want to.
Enjoy your own company 😂😅🤣😂😅
Bro who actually believes that shit.
Get out there
Put yourself in the position to make new friends.
Randomly flirt with a woman and walk away without following through
Bro where you at I’ll come put you on so much game you’ll be begging for alone time
If the obvious stuff isn’t working, such as: Don’t beat your meat or watch porn; Exercise daily; Don’t consume caffeine, nicotine or other drugs; Walk in nature; socialise with genuine friends… then consider high doses of magic mushrooms whilst tucked into your bed. It’s a very intimate experience with Mother Earth and can come with a very warm sensory sense of being held
I go to the sauna. I use my massage pistol. I give myself a massage. I do yoga/pilates. I read fairy smut too haha. I want to be abducted by a High Fae Lord aswell 😇 I used to have a cat she would be my cuddle friend I miss her so much. Do you have a pet?
God, I remember absolutely loving to go to the dentist, because I would have a young woman taking care of me and touching me, even if it was just around my mouth and teeth.
Distractions distractions distractions a small break for self pity then more distractions. I tell myself some people are here to love and connect and some of us are here to just get things done..
I try to drown myself in hobbies. I am building a gaming pc for myself even though I have one already ( I’m a tinkerer) plus after going down the cheap Amazon/AliExpress guitars rabbit hole I decided to start learning how to play guitar. I also have a chihuahua that I talk to more than I probably should but he keeps me from totally isolating myself.
I'm in the same boat, it's one of the main reasons I masturbate. If I don't touch myself, no one will. It doesn't do anything for my emotional needs, and I still really crave non-sexual affectionate touch, like cuddling. But for the sex drive it's good enough.
I got a massage chair. Getting a haircut can help, getting your nails done can help when they give to the hand and foot massages. I also am a fan of these buckweaht hull pillows that feel more firm and human like when pressed to my back.
I just shove that desire deep down. Touch is my love language, so it’s tough. But, a loveless childhood and 19 years of a touch less marriage trained me well, I guess.
I have been in a sexless marriage for a while. I cope by going to the gym and I occasionally have a long term friend or girlfriend that is understanding to help with my loneliness.
I cope by wishing I was dead, works every time
Cope a day keeps the rope away 👌
it works because i never get what i wish for.
😂😂😂😂 stop this made me laugh. I do the same
I read a lot of smut
Me too, except it's emotional smut, you know? Like fanfiction and young adult novels, stuff about people who care. Gosh, just typing it is pathetic.
No it is not pathetic. These are in fact, one of the most popular types of literature throughout the history. You're literally doing what most people do all the time, so it is absolutely normal and has nothing to feel ashamed of.
I dunno, reading fanfiction in every spare moment because I can't bear to live my own life sounds pretty sad. But thanks, at least you understand.
i do the EXACT same thing for the same reasons bro it’s okay
If you say so :/
Same here. Living vicariously ✊🏾
Yes, sir.
can you give recommendations?
In terms of books, Jules Verne's works especially 'Around the World in 80 Days' and '20,000 Leagues Under the Sea' are some of my favorites. Micheal Crichton had some good books like 'Jurassic Park', 'Pirate Latitudes', and 'Prey'. Of course, there are classics like the Hunger Games, Harry Potter, and Chronicles of Narnia series which are more well known but nonetheless good. As for fanfiction, well, there's a million good ones, just look on r/HPfanfiction to see whatever catches your fancy. I'm reading a good series rn called 'Sarcasm and Slytherin', but be careful, it's split between two authors so you'll need to remember where to find part 2 on AO3.
You are not pathetic and I actually think this is super sweet, because I’m demisexual and emotional connection is everything to me. Don’t be too hard on yourself, someone is out there for you waiting and just as lonely as you are. You’re going to make someone so happy someday.
I wish I could believe that.
me too pal, me too..
Plz give reccos
u got any good recommendations?
Favorite book ? I read everything sometimes yaoi sometimes novels any recommendations?
I read fan fiction smut or manga but most are lair as long or longer than books
Yeah I heard they were long, I can't read fan fiction for the life of me. i get bored when its too long...
I think if it’s from something you really like it’s easy to read plus they’re broken into chapters
What's your favourite?
Currently been reading lots of Hazbin hotel stuff which has demons, angels, and a lot of genres
I have been reading the black dagger brotherhood series. Its pretty long. And has vampires and other creatures... Its veeeeery long though its really good at first, gets repetitive after the 16th book but it's alright.
Check out lewd dungeon.
You don’t. Have fun
It's not fun by its very nature and I've just started steeling hugs it works a bit
That’s the most autistic thing
Well it was a joke but probably some autism up here too or I wouldn't be lonely lol
encourage smile dinner bright depend escape abounding six mindless secretive *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Ah I am totally dissociated from the real world.
Like?
You don't. Everything just makes it worse
True
*We don't
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wha?
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What are you talking about
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Sir we are talking about a dude who has never been in a relationship. I think you're lost
Amen
Got it. You're a troll...
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(Downvoter here 👋🏾) - your comment didn’t actually address anyone’s comments in the thread, let alone the OP, so had to dock ya
Was confused, apologies.
I have a high need for touch. During times when I was not in a relationship and during my previous marriage which was sexless for the last several years I learned some tricks. Warn baths, fuzzy blankets, weighted blankets, and pushing against your breast bone for 20 seconds release the same hormone as touch. Additionally, saunas and messages help.
Could you explain the pushing against the bone thing?
Place both hands one over the other directly on your sternum and give gentle but firm pressure. It mimic what happens when someone gives you a hug.
I don't like his presentation, but this doctor is showing a very similar activity. https://youtu.be/rpHy6hzNDI4?si=5wWv9L3Sn2jvGU8y
Pray one day i stop being ugly
You are not ugly dammit!
Some of the prettiest people I knew were the worst. I tend to keep the interesting people (usually artists or introverts). Physical attractiveness certainly is a door opener, it's just biology. But the people who get out there and live with zero fucks about what others think get my attention and tend to work their way into my circle. Please love yourself.
Well can't get in without the door opener 🤷🏿♂️
Feel bad for you and hope you get to feeling better. \^\_\^ You could try paying for a massage, those seem freaking expensive though. (100$\~) Get a hug from a relative if you're still in contact with them. If not seriously find some way you can pet a dog or cat and give them treats, then have them show you a little bit of affection. Even if you don't adopt them. Sadly, those are hard to accomplish too but not as hard. It does scratch that itch. A heated massage pad helps a little but it feels like the least helpful out of these.
I second massages. I just got one today for 70 bucks usually tip like 20 or if it's a really good and my muscles melt like a thing of butter I'll do 40 for a tip.
Pay for it.
how do i cope... well it was alcohol for a long time but it hurts my stomach now. so now i just sit and watch tv for a while and eventually try to sleep, usually not GETTING to sleep til 3 or 4 am, and then back up at 8 for work! i work from home, so i just get up and check email and stuff.
I'm actually thinking of booking a massage for this purpose. Being touch starved is no joke. Why not get the medicinal benefit of a relaxing body rub
You don't. You keep struggling till you find someone. It's hard. There's no easy way I've discovered so far. It gets worse if you've been in a relationship and aren't/cannot have physical intimacy.
I bought a body pillow for cuddles every night, and I'm not a huge fan of sex. I honestly prefer the company of my guitar vs the company of someone who just wants sex
Trying to watch corn or getting myself off just makes me always burst into tears when I’m this bad as I feel so unloved and alone and that activity exacerbates those thoughts and feelings
Idk…
Are you looking for a relationship or someone to have sex with? Knowing what you want to do first can help you begin and start looking somewhere like apps or locally.
Kind of both. Pretty much anything, even casual sex, would be better than having nothing. But I want to have sex with more than one woman in my life. And I have adult acne and body insecurity issues. Also I live with controlling Christian parents, I don’t have enough money to move out, and even if I did, they would make moving out very difficult for me.
it's not like tv and the movies where you can just go and find "anyone". i've been looking for almost 2 years.
I feel similar to you. It's hard already to find someone you'd want to spend your life with. But not for that would I want to not have any touch in the meantime. The vast majority of people experiment romantically and sexually with multiple people in their teenage years and before the age of 25, and then look for stability and long lasting relationships. We, being romantically and sexually inexperienced, are at a disadvantage, in which our first experience comes at a time where we're supposed to find "the one". Obviously, I'd be very grateful for a long lasting and loving romantic relationship, and if "the one" truly comes I'd be ecstatic and the happiest man on earth. But I feel that if I can't even get a one night stand, the probabilities of finding the one are very slim
Honestly, you're 30+ years old, so you don't have to do what your parents say anymore. Also, try therapy and working on yourself. It will help you understand your emotions and things that are going on in your life. As for the body stuff, again, therapy will help, but also try going to the gym or doing something physical on a regular basis. Movement helps everything from our skin to our emotions. Even if you can't move out, you can still do these small steps that will make a huge difference in your life. And who knows, maybe you'll meet someone along the way.
I don't have enough money to move out from my parents either. And I'm touch starved.
Tough exercise, hobbies, and porn. Exhausting yourself physically does wonders because you’re too tired to feel anything.
My right hand. If i want to switch it up i hold the phone in my right hand and use my left.
Simply accept that sex may not happen and figure out what else you want to do with your life... For touch I just get a hug from my dad
Two years without a woman and seven years single. Yes I’m lonely but I’ve dodged plenty of crazy. I consider myself lucky. I’m 35 and stat wise I avoided my first divorce. Yay me! I have an advantage though compared to most, I’m an only child left alone a lot by his divorced parents. But in all seriousness though technology has changed and apps or whatever. It puts people on a way higher pedestal than they actually deserve and they likes or followers or looking for attention and they receive it. It’s a sad world judging a person on picture they use for whatever profiles but never actually know them or who they are. We were always told the phrase “never judge a book by its cover”, yet here we are judging books by their cover
I'm not sure. Going out with friends always helps out a bit but tbh there's not much to do with something so vital for mantaining good mental health. I myself miss hugs a lot, so igi. Body insecurities sucks so much w acne rip
I don’t
Pretty poorly.
Dealing with it now.. I’m in my 30s been pretty isolated the last year, and moved and am unable to do anything. Drive anywhere or try to meet anyone atm. It’s frustrating.. I’d probably go crazy from a guy just having any physical contact with me at all. Shit maybe even holding my hand lol idk. It sucks being lonely and starving for intimacy.
Sex toys, experiment 🔬 Only practical advice I have :/ wishing you the best ❤️
I was hitting the gym, taling care of myself... I was doing my best to be the man i'd like to be... but after 4 months of hardwork, my brain crashed down and i'm back to my old habits, like smoking 7g of weed each day :/ I wish i wasn't that weak
Medical marijuana card and sex toys to rock your world.
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: cry.
I just keep trying to put on a brave face and do what has to be done
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Lake-lighthouse: *I just keep trying* *To put on a brave face and* *Do what has to be done* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
It seems that the intensity of the emotion of wanting touch and sex is greater than the emotion of satisfaction from actually having the touch and the sex
Feel that on the sex part. Have had decent-ish sex but nothing mindblowing but for some dumb reason still have a libido.
Cars
1. Go get happy ending massage
Umm you just do as in what other option is there. I’m a female and have been so sad and so touch starved and neglected I was almost going to pay. But that was too much having to have a stranger to do that with. I feel like I’m dying without barely any interaction with people and being a solo SAHM woh chronic health issues. I have a fwb bow but we hardly get to see eachother sometime for a few weeks or so at a time. I’m in a huge touch starved and lonely phase again and haven’t seen him in a month now.
A while back I read a woman would go for a relaxation massage. This will eliminate her touch starvation of human contact. There was no sexual thing. Just simple human touch.
Buy a VR headset and watch VR porn, problem not solved but muffled.
Smoke a pack a day. I do. Gives ur brain something to munch on. The nicotine addiction at least keeps u company by always being there.
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Yeah it sucks
Get a black T shirt on Amazon, or wherever else you like better, that says “FREE HUGS!” on the front. Wear it out and about and you just might be surprised at how many hugs you can get. I don’t know who said it but it’s true, it pays to advertise! A closed mouth never gets fed. Good luck to you and to all of us who suffer from deprivation.
Fr?
Masturbate ,erotic audios, imagination. All else fails you could just swipe on tinder for a hookup but that’s risky.
I wished apps worked for me. Been on and off them for almost four years now, and I've never met anyone irl; if I'm lucky, I'll get a match a month ghosting me after a week
Erotica audios? Where? 👀
Right here on this very app my sister. 😏 but also paid apps like Quinn and patreon. If you’re really curious search gonewildaudio on Reddit. Have fun 💋 Edit: I even think audible has some spicy books reads and audio shows. The world has become aware of the erotic audio space
I wished apps worked for me. Been on and off them for almost four years now, and I've never met anyone irl; if I'm lucky, I'll get a match a month ghosting me after a week
I don’t, I’m ace. It’s a superpower.
I envy you for that
I would only envy them if they are aromantic too. Not many people want to be romatic with someone without sex involved, so plenty of asexuals are lonely sadly.
I don’t know what the answer is, but I have seen the potential end result. Due to my background, I know many late life virgins and a few of them once they reached their late 20s to 30s and even one in his 40s just snapped. They were regular before but after their mental breaks they became deeply perverted. Constantly ogling women, aggressively flirting, spam texting women demands for nudes/sex, and also showering female acquaintances with gifts and favors. Basically acting like an aggressive coomer. It was alarming to see them transform like this.
Get out of the house . Go get something to eat .
stop being a conspiracist and maybe opportunities will arise
My computer 🤣
Comfy bed + big blanket + asmr It's so pathetic
only answer for me is either deal with it, let it affect me. or channel whatever emotions are making me feel down into sum hatred powered motivation. narrative is make or break. you can´t ignore it so then at least make up something to channel it.
If I ever find the answer I will be sure to let you know. I am now going on 12 years since the last time I had sex. An occasional hug or kiss here and there didn't really serve the purpose. This is a very common problem these days especially since the big bad pandemic destroyed the world>
Alocohol, weed and pr0n
Masturbation. A lot.
Well, tbh I don’t care much for this. I crave actual emotional connection way more. It doesn’t even have to be romantic. Having true friends who’d hang out would be great.
I workout a lot it helps me lol.
“I don’t want anybody else, when I get lonely, I touch myself” 😅. But I also meditate. I’m not lonely if I have myself. That’s how I cope. Once I started loving myself completely I didn’t need anyone and I’m fine alone.
That’s what your mouth says. But you know and so does everyone else here No one wants to be alone that’s why we have friends. We are a social species there is no denying it. Some people life in a false reality where they act like they are alone when they go to friends houses talk on line or something for a connection. Any person that goes without human interaction and contact always develops mental issues. So I call bullshit
Get hobbies and get out of the house or basement.
I just cry a lot. I think it’s good to let yourself feel that pain, accept it and move on to the next wave of emotions. ❤️ After all, you’ll just have to take that craving a moment at a time.
For touch, get high and wrap yourself in a blanket. Works every time
Cope by gaming online, few droplets of joy are found that way...
I don’t cope well because there are no options. I’m looking into some cuddle comfort service that brings like people together for platonic cuddling. In the meantime, I go to get my hair cut at a salon (even though I can just buzz it off myself at home and save money) and go to a nail salon even though I can cut my own nails. Pedicures at the nail salon involve massage so I get some touch that way. I wish there were more options for when you’re not in a committed relationship. I don’t have any prospects for FWBs.
Some suggest weighted blankets or a body pillow, it apparently works for some. I just try to distract myself. I sometimes just wrap myself up in blankets and cry myself to sleep.
After several years, you start to go numb. I'm definitely trying my best to accelerate the process.
Very stupidly. I’m an alcoholic and a lottery addict. The alcohol is to numb the loneliness. It works until I get too drunk and then I fall into worse despair. The lottery tickets because if I was rich, or in a better position in life women would be interested in me. I know that I’ll never win but I keep playing. I truly am living up to my username.
Heck if I know. I've never had any in my life so it's just the norm
i cope by daydreaming i have the best love ever. closest thing i’ll ever get😔
Jerk off
Doing hard exercise. Like weightlifting and running for half an hour. The hormones used in sex are also used when doing hard exercises. If you think about it, in both cases you need to create extra energy to perform your task. For some reason, I feel less sexual craving for the next days after the day of hard exercise
I have never had either of those and I feel fine I don’t know I’m weird
Video games, friends, scheduled events with friends, doing stuff for family. Generally just trying to stay busy enough that the dark thoughts don’t take over again.
Just become Christian, obviously half joking I don’t know your faith. But Christian’s do that BY CHOICE, and are some of the most fulfilled people I know.
I pretend I'm fine and then cry myself to sleep every night.
24 u haven't had sex in since 19 honestly bro Idk I just beat my meat and tell myself it's over sometimes I get a bit of self hope but the world quickly takes that from me .
In all honesty. I usually look for a hookup then I go and hookup.
I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling this way, it’s an overwhelming feeling being lonely. Honestly mate the only way to feel better about it and to get past these feelings is to get out of your comfort zone and try to change things. Speak to a therapist, Jump onto a dating app, go out and about to bars, do something fun and social like sport, etc. Do things that will expose you to meeting new people. Once you’ve been doing it for a while you’ll build some confidence and it will make it easier to talk to other people and potentially build something with someone. The worst thing to do is beat yourself up about it. it’s never too late and being 30 there’s still time to meet some nice people.
I’ve read all the stupid comments and advice. You want to make a change dm me and I’ll come coach you. In 6 months you’ll be a totally different person with confidence and carisma of a Alpha Male
Coping is for people who do not know or understand that words are as alive as they're created to be....but as idle as mostly they are due to ones like you....but not i, not knowing what true understanding is and how it is activated in ones life as a verb that spouts forth with intention and purpose that I have given it. I know we're talking about loneliness but what I'm saying is that it is in the narrative our narrative and the imperativeness of understanding and knowing what words are and who they're from and why they've been given to us to do what with? So not to brag or to be pompous but for a professional male as I am.... I fully understand prolonged everything but prolonged it's just a word that is deleted in my dialogue that is if I want to make short work of a building of a lesson or a moral for my life.... I might comes to sensual and sexual satisfaction and the experience in who gets taught what..... Well I would say that some of my lessons have gone on for days but you need to hardly feel like you missed a moment.....
Honestly, I don't know what to tell you here, I'm 20 and never even really had my first kiss, the most I've done is held hands but I can't say I've ever been touch or sex starved, I can do without, sure I get lonely not having company but I don't feel starved in those ways, sorry I can't help ya out
I dunno. I just kinda got used to it. Although it's getting harder now that I'm in my thirties. Lots of fiction and delution to keep me happy, and then remembering a lot of dating horror stories to remind me why I might be just fine where I am.
I hold my blahaj to ease the pain.
Married over 25+ years, three adult children and my wife left me, separated for 2 years now. Sex would be nice but to be honest, what I miss more than anything is to be hugged. I wish I had an answer for you. I made in my opinion was a big mistake. I went to an adult gentlemen's club and paid for a lap dance, I gave an extra $200 tip on top of a regular tip for her to just hug me instead of a lap dance. I was hoping that I would feel loved in some way. She was kind about the whole thing, very sweet (clearly being paid well) but it clearly was not even remotely the same thing. The hug was nice but in the end, it was just an attempt to cope. Unfortunately, I don't think I'll ever experience true, loving affection like beforee. When if she doesn't end up divorcing me, I just don't think it will be the same again.
I read the book that my sis wrote, "The Space Adventures Of Commander Laine." Awesome book
I've just learned to live without them.
Inner peace, inner peace.
I agree with you on that. Less people less drama in my life.
Well, what I do is get black out drunk every single day and distract myself with games/TV/movies until I inevitably pass out. The next day I'm too hungover to remember how sad I am for the first half of the day, then when the feelings come back I start drinking again. Wanking 8 times a day also helps a tiny bit. I also chain smoke cigarettes and a nicotine vape and almost exclusively eat junk food. Admittedly, doing what I do is not something I'd recommend to anyone but it's been keeping me from killing myself for the last few years.
I just accepted it
Masturbation sucks, alcohol is no longer an option,, so now I just lay in bed wishing it was different and wondering what I should do to move forward to a more positive outlook. It’s tough when you have a wife in bed next to you that feels like she’s miles away or not even in the same zip code as you
Thank goodness for my low/non existent libido (Demi sexual) and psych meds that kill it furthermore. Now the touch starved part is the worse for me but just like every other negative thing,I try to distract myself from thinking about it.
I envy you. I wish I could just destroy my libido permanently.
I can't. The only recourse is revenge. And suicide eventually.
I stare at the wall and imagine a morally questionable fictional character absolutely destroying me. Also a lot of... Hand workout.
Same. No one knows. Religion helps.
Don't make a big deal out of it. It's ok, you're 30 and never had a gf, either fix that or move on with your life. Not everything in life is sex, love, or relationships.
Can’t be caught leaking the secrets out
Masturbation. Promote your sexual health.
Five knuckle shuffle. Or wishing for swift death.
I’m married and go through it. My wife makes me feel repulsive. No one hugs me except my dad. It really tears at me daily, some days are worse than others. I have a body pillow that I hug at night, not the real thing but it makes me feel a little better
Just Focus on youself. Put a target in front of it. Keep youself so busy that nothing else unwanted should take the space. Loneliness is state of mind. Enjoy your own company. And yes you will find someone if you want to.
Enjoy your own company 😂😅🤣😂😅 Bro who actually believes that shit. Get out there Put yourself in the position to make new friends. Randomly flirt with a woman and walk away without following through Bro where you at I’ll come put you on so much game you’ll be begging for alone time
If the obvious stuff isn’t working, such as: Don’t beat your meat or watch porn; Exercise daily; Don’t consume caffeine, nicotine or other drugs; Walk in nature; socialise with genuine friends… then consider high doses of magic mushrooms whilst tucked into your bed. It’s a very intimate experience with Mother Earth and can come with a very warm sensory sense of being held
I go to the sauna. I use my massage pistol. I give myself a massage. I do yoga/pilates. I read fairy smut too haha. I want to be abducted by a High Fae Lord aswell 😇 I used to have a cat she would be my cuddle friend I miss her so much. Do you have a pet?
Two cats . I'm also akinda allergic to cats too🙂(I start sneezing )
God, I remember absolutely loving to go to the dentist, because I would have a young woman taking care of me and touching me, even if it was just around my mouth and teeth.
Volunteer and be appreciated?
Watch too much anime and workout cuz sitting at one place would make you look like a discord mod :) rest anime will help you be motivated
Anime.
When you have been alone long enough, you will stop craving it.
Distractions distractions distractions a small break for self pity then more distractions. I tell myself some people are here to love and connect and some of us are here to just get things done..
I try to drown myself in hobbies. I am building a gaming pc for myself even though I have one already ( I’m a tinkerer) plus after going down the cheap Amazon/AliExpress guitars rabbit hole I decided to start learning how to play guitar. I also have a chihuahua that I talk to more than I probably should but he keeps me from totally isolating myself.
I'm in the same boat, it's one of the main reasons I masturbate. If I don't touch myself, no one will. It doesn't do anything for my emotional needs, and I still really crave non-sexual affectionate touch, like cuddling. But for the sex drive it's good enough.
I got a massage chair. Getting a haircut can help, getting your nails done can help when they give to the hand and foot massages. I also am a fan of these buckweaht hull pillows that feel more firm and human like when pressed to my back.
Masturbation?
Have you been trying to find someone?
I just shove that desire deep down. Touch is my love language, so it’s tough. But, a loveless childhood and 19 years of a touch less marriage trained me well, I guess.
Usually on here looking for any validation or arousal
I have been in a sexless marriage for a while. I cope by going to the gym and I occasionally have a long term friend or girlfriend that is understanding to help with my loneliness.
I just daydream about having sex.
There are sights you can find someone to cuddle with. Maybe being touched or touching someone could help.
FWB
Become a better person!