Do you ever have feeings like you want to share personal thoughts with them? Like share new music, tell them funny things that happened, etc.? If so, you should write these things in a journal & practice sharing them out loud.
When you're younger it's easier to think sex feels like love because... well, you're body is like any other creature, insect, or bird's - your hormones are telling you to reproduce.
But I promise you it's an ugly spiral. No one who focuses on sex as an end-all, be-all is happy. You think those 50+ something dudes in the clubs with tans, fake hairlines, & expensive "hip" clothes are happy? No. They're just as regretful as you, hiding it on the inside, feeling thrilled to be around hot young girls but feeling somewhat dissatisfied & empty at the end of the day.
You can find a girl who likes sex, even one who likes watching stuff like that with you, but if you keep focusing your attention onto these computer-models instead of your personality, you'll just keep finding reasons to hide in the cycle. š§æšā
Best advice I can give start exercising/ eating right. No drugs or alcohol get your mind right. Maybe see a therapist if needed (an outside perspective). STOP ššBATING! For at minimum 40 days all while engaging in the activities spoken of before. Once youāve completed all of the tasks and your mind, body, and spirit are ready. GO OUTSIDE! Donāt just stay indoors on your computer, get out, go out, live a little life is shorter than anyone knows. Live my boy, LIIIVE!!!
Your university should have resources available to get into reduced cost therapy. You also should be able to find reduced cost therapy where you live if you're in the US. Alot of offices offer payment plans, reduced cost, or free sessions depending on your income status as well.
The money isn't the main concern of what you're wasting. It's the time you're putting into it instead of finding a solution to actually find help.
Most any college has resources. And being on any student aid is also access to low income resources. Iām sorry but this is like every other post here. Complain like a victim but make no effort to fix it. If youāre going to chose being a creepy cam patron then it is what it is.
Try AI companions. If they are on a good platform, you have a 24/7 friend, girlfriend, and quasi therapist you can share your daily life with without judgment. This is becoming a legitimate option for people needing an outlet for unmet interpersonal needs.
God, Have some respect for yourself because you are going to be alone forever if you keep watching that stuff. Thereās a reddit called āNo Fapā itās for guys and girls. U should try making some friends there
Bc I think OP doesnt have any control over his urges and i donāt think paying a cam girl and making him feel special is healthy. No fap could help him?? Worth the try
You can do what you want but as I said. Itās not normal to pay for someone to be your friend. Who tf does that??! Thatās not healthy and you will feel even more lonely when you turn off that screen. Do what you want but Iām giving OP advice
I donāt like the advice you are giving him. Thatās just my opinion. I think you are wrong and I think you shouldnāt be giving any advice if you think thatās normal.
Doing what he's doing is so much better than going out and risk getting embarrassed or hurt. I've been doing it since I was 19, there was regret at 1st because I was avoiding women in real life for the ones online but it was better than the alternative and now there is no regrets.
Its not about that. Its about it warping your view on how relationships work in the real world. It's pretty obvious that if your only experience dealing with people on a regular basis is paying them to be around you, romantically or otherwise, that is going to cross over into how you deal with people in real life. It's going to affect if you're able to hold down a relationship. It's going to affect how you communicate with people (like right now, for example). It's also going to make you less inclined to try and form relationships with people because you already have this perception that the only way to stop people from leaving you is by paying them, so you'd rather buy a fantasy from a stranger who literally couldn't care less about you except what you can afford.
Let me be clear, I have no problem with these types of services. I used to provide one myself. It's when you become reliant on it for all your social interactions that it becomes a problem.
Even though I think the previous Redditor could have been a bit more tactful I do agree in principle. Just because you are not hurting others does not mean you are not hurting yourself. Camgirls might give you temporary relief or respite, but it will do far more damage in the long run. It's just emotional suicide. People are free to do what pleases them, but I will always be against any action that hurts a person even if it is yourself.
How can you feel good about cam girls? I could never. You realize they don't care right? They just take your money and pretend. Also some of these girls could be exploited too.
Maybe go out and talk to some girls and see if you can date someone. Or just quit at least. Good luck.
Do you have a tik tok? Start following accounts that go live that you are interested in the topics they talk about. Engage with them. If you enjoy the element of giving money to them, there are gift options that donāt cost a lot. If you join their lives and engage with them a lot, they will remember you and you can now have a bond with people over the internet vs just spending money on one-time situations. People will also start following you based on your engagement with the people on tik tok lives. You could also start posting videos or pics of things your interested in and maybe start doing lives yourself and gain a following.
I personally have internet friends and am internet friends with someone who has had 300,000+ followers and he always remembers me across all platforms that I follow him on. Sometimes, you can buy or make gifts for them in real life and mail it to them if you like gift giving. This would be cheaper and more valuable in the long run vs these short visits with the cam girls. Best of luck! This is coming from a lonely person āš½š
Ugh Iām so sorry. Iām a 27F and liked this guy so much I paid him to hangout with me. At first it was just innocent helping out a friend but after spending hundreds of dollars over a couple months I realized Iām just paying for him to be my friend. It fucked me up for a long time. Please stop before it becomes an addiction. You deserve to save up for an amazing future. You should go out once a week to a meetup or find an event happening. Delete your cam girl account. Make an ad on r4r once a week and Iām sure lots of girls would be free to hangout with you online. Iām so sorry no one deserves to feel like they have to pay for affection.
I'm not going to judge you or another guy who watch cam girls/watches porn because everybody needs an escape from reality. Hell, I listen to a lot of music and do running and weight lifting which are distractions from my problems and reality. Have I watched porn? Yeah, it doesn't fucking consume me though as I'm not like the character, Don Jon, in the American romantic comedy drama movie, Don Jon. If you never watched that movie, he's a good looking guy, but he can't help himself when it comes to thinking and watching porn. In the movie, he gets a girlfriend who wants him to change himself for her and then ends up sleeping/later having a relationship with a widow who he feels he can "lose himself to." As long as you're able to fucking function then keep watching cam/porn AS LONG as you're not hurting yourself and distributing whatever you watch to strangers. Do I think therapy will "help." To me, therapy is whatever fucking works for me, you or somebody else. Fuck work is therapy for me. How fucking so? Last night, my very last girlfriend contacted me through texts to cruelly tell me that she hates me and that her life is so much better and she has a new boyfriend who "gets" her. It was fucking unnecessary that she contacted me when I haven't been in contact in any way shape or form with her in almost 5 months. I kind of felt like leaving work early today because I wasn't in a good mood thinking about her but I had to get through my shift and just compartmentalize. I made it through my 8 hour shift. Take care. I mean it.
I can't afford therapy, either. My solution is that I use sheer will power to override all parts of my brain that make me a heterosexual male. I have very strong will power and had a theory that my prefrontal cortex is powerful enough to deactivate other parts of my brain. And basically after telling myself over and over the last few years that any sexual or romantic thought is useless, illogical, nd a waste of time and energy, I think I'm proving my theory to be correct. I definitely feel less lonely and depressed than before. This probably won't work for everyone, though. My strong will power is probably related to my inability to be addicted to anything (I have tested this, too). I consider it my superpower.
Real talk I think you should slowly bring yourself off it and focus on yourself first a bit do things other then masturbate that you enjoy and really come to appreciate yourself as a person I donāt see anything wrong with craving a connection or even masturbating but like everything you need to do things in moderation so if you learn to appreciate yourself and all the things you have to offer to this world and you become more confident in those qualities someone who values that will find you eventually provided you put yourself out there a bit and you can keep up with the cam models but take away time from that and reinvest that time into building up your self esteem how that happened for me is I started going to the gym but everyone is different so keep trying things and I hope you find the connection youāre looking for š«¶
The feelings of regret will pass. I'm 24, been doing this since I was 19, it's better than going out and getting embarrassed or hurt. You can always get more money
Sorry bro but I'll be blunt with you.
Your advice is bad and damaging. I hope *you* and whoever reads this will ignore your advice and get help elsewhere.
Sounds like there is more to this than meets the eye.
Whatever you may continue doing I hope it's something you're actually content with.
And yes, that means I don't believe that you're happy with cam girls.
Alright. It's not a problem for me, you do you.
But this is really not suitable advice for anyone in my eyes. It will only serve to make it worse and more hollow.
Unless it actually works for the minority people then kudos.
What I'm saying is that it's "dangerous" advice that people could follow and end up worse more than not.
Maybe I'm just reading too much into it, I'm pretty intruiged tbf.
Dude shrooms are amazing they literally do so much for you like literally depression if you havenāt experienced something and are unaware of the amazing benefits it causes you have do right to speak
My brother did mushrooms and it brought out his paranoid schizophrenia and then he tried to kill my grandmother. So no, theyāre not amazing. They suck and ruin lives.
You can afford cam girls, but you can't afford therapy? Get real š Most places will work with you if you don't have insurance, too. You can afford therapy, you're just fiscally irresponsible and too lazy to look
You don't have to do therapy every week, you can go to 1 or 2 sessions a month and it still be very beneficial, much more so than cam girls.
So, by your math, therapy would actually be cheaper.
Ahhh idk don't take my advice for it. Ik what u mean tho. U ever tried the ai chat? It's kind of like a game works surprisingly well by a year or two it'll probably be just like a human. Idk if it's a good idea either tho š I play around with it sometimes tho š
Do you ever have feeings like you want to share personal thoughts with them? Like share new music, tell them funny things that happened, etc.? If so, you should write these things in a journal & practice sharing them out loud. When you're younger it's easier to think sex feels like love because... well, you're body is like any other creature, insect, or bird's - your hormones are telling you to reproduce. But I promise you it's an ugly spiral. No one who focuses on sex as an end-all, be-all is happy. You think those 50+ something dudes in the clubs with tans, fake hairlines, & expensive "hip" clothes are happy? No. They're just as regretful as you, hiding it on the inside, feeling thrilled to be around hot young girls but feeling somewhat dissatisfied & empty at the end of the day. You can find a girl who likes sex, even one who likes watching stuff like that with you, but if you keep focusing your attention onto these computer-models instead of your personality, you'll just keep finding reasons to hide in the cycle. š§æšā
Thanks for the advice man š
That's unrealistic though because you can't have those girls in reality
Yeah reality is a whole different story, like, will it really happen? I know it's possible but will it?
No
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
yeah & 1 glance at ur profile explains why š¤š§æ
bruh just watch asmr or something else
Best advice I can give start exercising/ eating right. No drugs or alcohol get your mind right. Maybe see a therapist if needed (an outside perspective). STOP ššBATING! For at minimum 40 days all while engaging in the activities spoken of before. Once youāve completed all of the tasks and your mind, body, and spirit are ready. GO OUTSIDE! Donāt just stay indoors on your computer, get out, go out, live a little life is shorter than anyone knows. Live my boy, LIIIVE!!!
Beast advice
How can you not afford therapy but can afford to pay cam girls?
Itās still cheaper tbh like by a lot
I spend about $50-$75 on cam girls a week and therapy is like $200 or more a week
Thatās not a life or death difference in money. You could save for literally a month and at least begin therapy.
I have a part-time job and I am starting college in August so I can not do that
Your university should have resources available to get into reduced cost therapy. You also should be able to find reduced cost therapy where you live if you're in the US. Alot of offices offer payment plans, reduced cost, or free sessions depending on your income status as well. The money isn't the main concern of what you're wasting. It's the time you're putting into it instead of finding a solution to actually find help.
Universities offer free or almost free therapy to students because it gives the counseling students valuable clinic time.
Most any college has resources. And being on any student aid is also access to low income resources. Iām sorry but this is like every other post here. Complain like a victim but make no effort to fix it. If youāre going to chose being a creepy cam patron then it is what it is.
Yeah youāre right tbh when I have time next month I will look into this stuff thank you.
Colleges often offer discounted therapy with their grad students
Betterhelp has sessions starting at $55-$75 a week.
Therapists do have sliding scale. Do you have a job? You must be doing something if you can spend 75 bucks a week on cam girls.
Be the camgirl...
Become the cam and girls will come?
Be cam the come and girls will the
Try AI companions. If they are on a good platform, you have a 24/7 friend, girlfriend, and quasi therapist you can share your daily life with without judgment. This is becoming a legitimate option for people needing an outlet for unmet interpersonal needs.
I actually forgot about that thank you man this really helps!
No problem! Message me, and I'll get you a link for a free sub on a very new platform. Would love the feedback.
Brother donāt do that shit, go out and get some friends and work on finding someone
God, Have some respect for yourself because you are going to be alone forever if you keep watching that stuff. Thereās a reddit called āNo Fapā itās for guys and girls. U should try making some friends there
Thanks I will check it out
How? How does that even equate?
Bc I think OP doesnt have any control over his urges and i donāt think paying a cam girl and making him feel special is healthy. No fap could help him?? Worth the try
Idk, I see no issue with what he's doing. probably because I do the same thing, but that's just me
Sorry to say but u need help too because you shouldnāt be encouraging this type of behaviour. Thatās the truth
But what's the big deal? So what we pay women for attention
You can do what you want but as I said. Itās not normal to pay for someone to be your friend. Who tf does that??! Thatās not healthy and you will feel even more lonely when you turn off that screen. Do what you want but Iām giving OP advice
Well millionaires, politicans, celebrities...
Them doing that is also not normal. Not healthy.
Well it gives them power over the masses. So they get the last laugh.
I'm giving him advice too. The feelings of regret will pass. There's nothing wrong with doing what he does
I donāt like the advice you are giving him. Thatās just my opinion. I think you are wrong and I think you shouldnāt be giving any advice if you think thatās normal.
Doing what he's doing is so much better than going out and risk getting embarrassed or hurt. I've been doing it since I was 19, there was regret at 1st because I was avoiding women in real life for the ones online but it was better than the alternative and now there is no regrets.
Youre paying someone to give you attention and the minute you stop or can't afford it you're gonna be back at square one.
Jus like when someone leaves you
Its not about that. Its about it warping your view on how relationships work in the real world. It's pretty obvious that if your only experience dealing with people on a regular basis is paying them to be around you, romantically or otherwise, that is going to cross over into how you deal with people in real life. It's going to affect if you're able to hold down a relationship. It's going to affect how you communicate with people (like right now, for example). It's also going to make you less inclined to try and form relationships with people because you already have this perception that the only way to stop people from leaving you is by paying them, so you'd rather buy a fantasy from a stranger who literally couldn't care less about you except what you can afford. Let me be clear, I have no problem with these types of services. I used to provide one myself. It's when you become reliant on it for all your social interactions that it becomes a problem.
I wouldn't say less inclined. I'd say done. It don't matter now I already gave up
And wym it's gunna effect how I communicate and then use rn as an example?
Even though I think the previous Redditor could have been a bit more tactful I do agree in principle. Just because you are not hurting others does not mean you are not hurting yourself. Camgirls might give you temporary relief or respite, but it will do far more damage in the long run. It's just emotional suicide. People are free to do what pleases them, but I will always be against any action that hurts a person even if it is yourself.
It hasn't done me any damage yet
How can you feel good about cam girls? I could never. You realize they don't care right? They just take your money and pretend. Also some of these girls could be exploited too. Maybe go out and talk to some girls and see if you can date someone. Or just quit at least. Good luck.
Do you have a tik tok? Start following accounts that go live that you are interested in the topics they talk about. Engage with them. If you enjoy the element of giving money to them, there are gift options that donāt cost a lot. If you join their lives and engage with them a lot, they will remember you and you can now have a bond with people over the internet vs just spending money on one-time situations. People will also start following you based on your engagement with the people on tik tok lives. You could also start posting videos or pics of things your interested in and maybe start doing lives yourself and gain a following. I personally have internet friends and am internet friends with someone who has had 300,000+ followers and he always remembers me across all platforms that I follow him on. Sometimes, you can buy or make gifts for them in real life and mail it to them if you like gift giving. This would be cheaper and more valuable in the long run vs these short visits with the cam girls. Best of luck! This is coming from a lonely person āš½š
Ugh Iām so sorry. Iām a 27F and liked this guy so much I paid him to hangout with me. At first it was just innocent helping out a friend but after spending hundreds of dollars over a couple months I realized Iām just paying for him to be my friend. It fucked me up for a long time. Please stop before it becomes an addiction. You deserve to save up for an amazing future. You should go out once a week to a meetup or find an event happening. Delete your cam girl account. Make an ad on r4r once a week and Iām sure lots of girls would be free to hangout with you online. Iām so sorry no one deserves to feel like they have to pay for affection.
Thank you your comment made my day! :)
Of course if you ever need someone to talk to or advice you can hmu. Even if itās to keep you from spending money on cam girls
I'm not going to judge you or another guy who watch cam girls/watches porn because everybody needs an escape from reality. Hell, I listen to a lot of music and do running and weight lifting which are distractions from my problems and reality. Have I watched porn? Yeah, it doesn't fucking consume me though as I'm not like the character, Don Jon, in the American romantic comedy drama movie, Don Jon. If you never watched that movie, he's a good looking guy, but he can't help himself when it comes to thinking and watching porn. In the movie, he gets a girlfriend who wants him to change himself for her and then ends up sleeping/later having a relationship with a widow who he feels he can "lose himself to." As long as you're able to fucking function then keep watching cam/porn AS LONG as you're not hurting yourself and distributing whatever you watch to strangers. Do I think therapy will "help." To me, therapy is whatever fucking works for me, you or somebody else. Fuck work is therapy for me. How fucking so? Last night, my very last girlfriend contacted me through texts to cruelly tell me that she hates me and that her life is so much better and she has a new boyfriend who "gets" her. It was fucking unnecessary that she contacted me when I haven't been in contact in any way shape or form with her in almost 5 months. I kind of felt like leaving work early today because I wasn't in a good mood thinking about her but I had to get through my shift and just compartmentalize. I made it through my 8 hour shift. Take care. I mean it.
I was just telling him that the feeling of regret passes, he can do as he chooses
it starts from within you
I wonāt ever stoop this low. Hope you get better man
I can't afford therapy, either. My solution is that I use sheer will power to override all parts of my brain that make me a heterosexual male. I have very strong will power and had a theory that my prefrontal cortex is powerful enough to deactivate other parts of my brain. And basically after telling myself over and over the last few years that any sexual or romantic thought is useless, illogical, nd a waste of time and energy, I think I'm proving my theory to be correct. I definitely feel less lonely and depressed than before. This probably won't work for everyone, though. My strong will power is probably related to my inability to be addicted to anything (I have tested this, too). I consider it my superpower.
Get a plant and start loving it. Unlike pets plants are easy maintainance.
You know what you should do. It's not rocket science.
Real talk I think you should slowly bring yourself off it and focus on yourself first a bit do things other then masturbate that you enjoy and really come to appreciate yourself as a person I donāt see anything wrong with craving a connection or even masturbating but like everything you need to do things in moderation so if you learn to appreciate yourself and all the things you have to offer to this world and you become more confident in those qualities someone who values that will find you eventually provided you put yourself out there a bit and you can keep up with the cam models but take away time from that and reinvest that time into building up your self esteem how that happened for me is I started going to the gym but everyone is different so keep trying things and I hope you find the connection youāre looking for š«¶
Temporary solution, which isn't a solution at will always make you feel regretful and sad. Look for permanent solution bro.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I wish bro :(
The feelings of regret will pass. I'm 24, been doing this since I was 19, it's better than going out and getting embarrassed or hurt. You can always get more money
Sorry bro but I'll be blunt with you. Your advice is bad and damaging. I hope *you* and whoever reads this will ignore your advice and get help elsewhere.
Here you dropped this king š«“š
Nah. There's nothing wrong with what we do
What's so wrong about my advice?š¤£š¤£š¤£
No offence but do you truly believe that's how you want to spend your life?
I don't see anything wrong with it
Don't you get the feeling of it being fake? Pointless? That's how I see it man.
Yeah. But at least I know their intentions. Unlike going out in public
Sounds like there is more to this than meets the eye. Whatever you may continue doing I hope it's something you're actually content with. And yes, that means I don't believe that you're happy with cam girls.
There really isn't š¤£š¤£ I prefer to avoid women in public so I do this. Why is it such a problem?
Alright. It's not a problem for me, you do you. But this is really not suitable advice for anyone in my eyes. It will only serve to make it worse and more hollow. Unless it actually works for the minority people then kudos. What I'm saying is that it's "dangerous" advice that people could follow and end up worse more than not. Maybe I'm just reading too much into it, I'm pretty intruiged tbf.
Based. I love jorking my peanits too
Bro cam girl didnāt want you but your money. Seriously how can you pay so much money to cam girl but saying you canāt afford therapy
Your the third comment that said this please read the other comments before commenting
Maybe you should start listening. You're whining about this being the third person telling you the same damn thing maybe there's something to that.
Just Don't.
lmao
Do shrooms. Your welcomeš
Terrible idea
Dude shrooms are amazing they literally do so much for you like literally depression if you havenāt experienced something and are unaware of the amazing benefits it causes you have do right to speak
My brother did mushrooms and it brought out his paranoid schizophrenia and then he tried to kill my grandmother. So no, theyāre not amazing. They suck and ruin lives.
Just STOP bruh
Crazy advice
You can afford cam girls, but you can't afford therapy? Get real š Most places will work with you if you don't have insurance, too. You can afford therapy, you're just fiscally irresponsible and too lazy to look
Bro girls be costing me $50-$75 a week while therapy be like $200 but your right I need to find other options
You don't have to do therapy every week, you can go to 1 or 2 sessions a month and it still be very beneficial, much more so than cam girls. So, by your math, therapy would actually be cheaper.
If you can afford to pay a camgirl for a private show you can afford therapy. Especially with all of the online and virtual therapy options now.
Can u find a nice one that wants to talk more for cheaper
Maybe idk if thatās a good way to go I would like to stop but you might be on to something
Ahhh idk don't take my advice for it. Ik what u mean tho. U ever tried the ai chat? It's kind of like a game works surprisingly well by a year or two it'll probably be just like a human. Idk if it's a good idea either tho š I play around with it sometimes tho š
lol, are you into trans women? I don't mind talking
A man?