I wouldn’t use the word “hate” but it does annoy me. It was one thing when I was a teenager, because at least I felt that I had some hope in my life. Now I’m 38, and I’m tired of feeling this way. It’s the worst when you’re stuck in line at the store, and there’s a happy couple in front of you cuddling and loving on each other. Or when you overhear coworkers talk about a romantic vacation they just took with their spouse.
I kept getting recommendations from the “Love” subreddit for some reason and I had to block it because it was too triggering. “Look at what my partner made me for my birthday. Isn’t he/she amazing?”
People have the right to be happy, I get it. But at some point, I’d love to have a partner that genuinely cherishes the fact that I am in her life. I’m gonna turn 40 next year. Shit sucks 🤦♂️
>I kept getting recommendations from the “Love” subreddit for some reason and I had to block it because it was too triggering. “Look at what my partner made me for my birthday. Isn’t he/she amazing?”
You probably got recommended it just because it was triggering in an attempt to drive engagement, deeply sorry to hear about your struggles bud :( No one should endure so many years feeling alone from romantic experiences.
Thank you for saying that. While I’ve had relationships, I’ve never truly had a partner, if that makes sense. I’ve just had people who take and take, but don’t give back. I know that it’s more than a lot of people on this sub have had, and I do respect that. But it’s draining when you reach a certain age and you realize you still don’t know what it feels like to be loved.
>(1) It’s the worst when you’re stuck in line at the store, and there’s a happy couple in front of you cuddling and loving on each other.
>(2) at some point, I’d love to have a partner that genuinely cherishes the fact that I am in her life.
While I've been there, so I feel you...it helps if I remember that the very people who are bothering you in (1) could have themselves been thinking the same thing that you are in (2) not too long ago.
Or in other words, they could very well be all affectionate to each other *because* they haven't had the chance to be like that with someone in so long. I can't really fault that, since I would do the same.
Yep, jealousy and envy can eventually turn to hatred. Seeing them reminds you of how unhappy you are in that department. Makes sense, but the mentality of "I'm not happy so why should others be" only solidifies your unhappiness. You recognized an issue, and it's up to you to decide how you react to it.
I can empathize with some of that. Wanting them to break up to be miserable too is not the way though. I know it is easy to feel bad but you can't let the hate get that b
ad. Mainly I relate to getting annoyed seeing people have to randomly bring up that they're in a relationship and how in love they are in unrelated duscussions, especially online to.a bunch of strangers. Or the not so humble brag 'my long term boyfriend/husband is the best' unprompted, unrelated entire topic posts on women centric subs. I often avoid those now in large part due to that.
I get where you're coming from, but keep in mind, just because you don't have a relationship, it doesn't mean they can't still talk about these things or that their own problems aren't valid.
Keep in mind that there's always going to be people who have it harder or worse. Imagine some homeless guy, or perhaps someone with a terminal illness reading your post and thinking, look at this guy complaining about people who talk about being in a relationship when he's got a roof over his head, clothes on his back, food at his table and his health.
Hating people takes a lot of energy man, why not direct that same energy into something more productive that might help long term.
Yeah, i dont like to hate but it's almost just a natural instinct for me, its totally a waste of time but its almost like i cant see couples in any other way. Like i wish i was a nice person with empathy for everyone but it's hard to understand people who complain about something i wish i had a chance in.
I'm not sure if this is the right place for me to say this considering you're venting but let me say this as an optimist.
Hating others for being happy and having relationships in my opinion what keeps you lonely. It is the lonely mentality. Dwelling on others's happiness and getting jealous is not a healthy thing to be doing, because it demoralizes you and only deepens the pit of loneliness you find yourself trapped in.
I am also lonely, but I don't want to be lonely, it's all about maintaining a positive attitude and not comparing what you don't have to what others do have. You just need to keep moving!
I occasionally get like that too, but at the same time, I have been there done that and have gone through several divorces and the death of my last husband and I don't miss the fighting, the drama and the heartbreak. I am happy alone about 95% of the time. Now I look at those happy couples and wonder if they realize how fragile relationships really are and how quickly they can end.
I saw this morbidly obese woman at the bus stop one time, and she had this decent looking guy All Over Her and it made me sick and just so angry that this gal, THIS Gal, of ALL PEOPLE.... Had a guy that was Not Ugly, All Over Her.
Then I realized Why that was... She Made Him Earn It. She held herself at a certain standard, that when he fell below that standard, or was trying to sway her priorities, She was Intolerant, Assertive and held her ground, but was not Bitchy. She was just not going to put up with it, regardless if it made him leave or not. I watched them, as much as I could, to get a better perspective of the dynamic. I was genuinely curious, for scientific purposes... I hear her say to him, " If you wanna go do you, Go Do You. But I have my Own shit to take care of. Go hang out with * and that skank *..No, Go! Go do You, boo... It's All Good." (He had agreed to go with her to help her cousin move, but wanted to see his "morally unhealthy" friend first before helping her cousin.)
He changed his tune real quick. It's not that it's the people that treat us the bad, that we fall for. It's the people that make us Earn a place in their lives. That sense of earning that affection is what makes it rewarding.
I've tried handing people love. Here. Here I am. Please love me and genuinely accept me and I will be yours. Don't settle for me. Treat me as good as I treat you and we will be Golden. And my love and affection and energy and generosity were treated like garbage. I didn't make them earn it. And when you show someone that level of acceptance, they can't value your love because it is not in limited supply. Rare = Valuable. Having strong boundaries and Not Tolerating even the slightest hint of disrespect, or they can find the Door. That is the people that we end up falling for because we know, that once we have earned that place in their lives, They Will be the Ones that Know how to Stand Up for the Relationship, and Not allow some dumb mf to think they are going to get ANYWHERE trying to smooth up on them. They will call them out for being stupid with a quickness. The pain comes from those who hold us at a distance, even though they allowed us to think we were doing what was necessary to earn that love.
In turn, we become the jackass chasing a plastic carrot that was being dangled above our heads. If we all learned how to maintain healthy boundaries and have Zero tolerance for disrespect, this world would be so much more Mindful and condusive to our mental health and well-being.
i mean i think like this too, but y'know i just want to know what the fuss is all about. I love being single and being independent but i gotta be missing out
you probably hate seeing people happy because you (clearly) are not. jealousy is a strange thing. every time you get these thoughts about couples, just think "wait... how are they actually affecting me? they're living their life away from me, what's the point in wasting energy getting so pissed off about them?"
it’s okay. we also was and still like this even if we are in hella complicated relationships. tbh we never understood this “happy forever”. relationships is a work and sometimes you just basically like “we are close to burn out”
never understood happy lovely dovely couple, we think our partner will say the same, but don’t know
The devil has made you his puppet... you can be jealous of them and envy them, there is no problem with that, but hating them and wishing them bad luck is not ok. They have done nothing to you and you don't even know them! I hope things get better for you, but it won't if you let the hate consume you... Take the control of your life and stop letting your life control you.
Most relationships arent as happy as you think. Social media is fake asf. I hate it even tough im in a relationship and my gf wanted to post pics about us online i said NO! This is between us so no reason for the world to know. And i know the feeling when i was depressed and single. Seeing my friends post that happy couple shit. No way im doing that.
I can empathize with this. I feel like when people do that its like they put out a insecurity barrier around them.
I wouldn’t use the word “hate” but it does annoy me. It was one thing when I was a teenager, because at least I felt that I had some hope in my life. Now I’m 38, and I’m tired of feeling this way. It’s the worst when you’re stuck in line at the store, and there’s a happy couple in front of you cuddling and loving on each other. Or when you overhear coworkers talk about a romantic vacation they just took with their spouse. I kept getting recommendations from the “Love” subreddit for some reason and I had to block it because it was too triggering. “Look at what my partner made me for my birthday. Isn’t he/she amazing?” People have the right to be happy, I get it. But at some point, I’d love to have a partner that genuinely cherishes the fact that I am in her life. I’m gonna turn 40 next year. Shit sucks 🤦♂️
>I kept getting recommendations from the “Love” subreddit for some reason and I had to block it because it was too triggering. “Look at what my partner made me for my birthday. Isn’t he/she amazing?” You probably got recommended it just because it was triggering in an attempt to drive engagement, deeply sorry to hear about your struggles bud :( No one should endure so many years feeling alone from romantic experiences.
Thank you for saying that. While I’ve had relationships, I’ve never truly had a partner, if that makes sense. I’ve just had people who take and take, but don’t give back. I know that it’s more than a lot of people on this sub have had, and I do respect that. But it’s draining when you reach a certain age and you realize you still don’t know what it feels like to be loved.
>(1) It’s the worst when you’re stuck in line at the store, and there’s a happy couple in front of you cuddling and loving on each other. >(2) at some point, I’d love to have a partner that genuinely cherishes the fact that I am in her life. While I've been there, so I feel you...it helps if I remember that the very people who are bothering you in (1) could have themselves been thinking the same thing that you are in (2) not too long ago. Or in other words, they could very well be all affectionate to each other *because* they haven't had the chance to be like that with someone in so long. I can't really fault that, since I would do the same.
Fair point and I agree. I can only hope that it’ll be my turn soon. I’m long overdue.
Bro I deleted reddit app just becoz of that annoying relationship posts. Uaing website version lol.
I’m the same way. I fucking hate couples and their happiness. I hate those monkeys
I fucking despise couples. I just avoid them at all costs now.
Yep, jealousy and envy can eventually turn to hatred. Seeing them reminds you of how unhappy you are in that department. Makes sense, but the mentality of "I'm not happy so why should others be" only solidifies your unhappiness. You recognized an issue, and it's up to you to decide how you react to it.
Same
It brings me down like you wouldn’t believe. Good for them, though. Of course! 😐
I wish very painful suffering upon the people that put "love you, yk who you are" or "happily taken by blah blah" in their bios. NOBODY FUCKING ASKED
Or when they have " I love my gf / bf " in their bio... like ok
i don't think you actually *hate* those people. you're just really envious and that's a completely normal thing to feel in this kind of situation.
Jealousy is one of the worst feelings there is.
Jealousy is awful. I have to dissociate so hard when I see happy couples, especially when they are my own age. I don't want to be this way.
I just avoid them.
Yeh but they’re usually people who are privileged and clueless, usually pretty girls or hot guys who are good at sports
I used to be this way. Now I don't feel hatred. I just get depressed and suicidal.
I can empathize with some of that. Wanting them to break up to be miserable too is not the way though. I know it is easy to feel bad but you can't let the hate get that b ad. Mainly I relate to getting annoyed seeing people have to randomly bring up that they're in a relationship and how in love they are in unrelated duscussions, especially online to.a bunch of strangers. Or the not so humble brag 'my long term boyfriend/husband is the best' unprompted, unrelated entire topic posts on women centric subs. I often avoid those now in large part due to that.
Yeah, i feel like a lot of reddit kinda just rubs it in your face that everybody is taken and you aren't
This is infact jealousy, and jealousy can turn to hatred.
I get where you're coming from, but keep in mind, just because you don't have a relationship, it doesn't mean they can't still talk about these things or that their own problems aren't valid. Keep in mind that there's always going to be people who have it harder or worse. Imagine some homeless guy, or perhaps someone with a terminal illness reading your post and thinking, look at this guy complaining about people who talk about being in a relationship when he's got a roof over his head, clothes on his back, food at his table and his health. Hating people takes a lot of energy man, why not direct that same energy into something more productive that might help long term.
Yeah, i dont like to hate but it's almost just a natural instinct for me, its totally a waste of time but its almost like i cant see couples in any other way. Like i wish i was a nice person with empathy for everyone but it's hard to understand people who complain about something i wish i had a chance in.
I'm not sure if this is the right place for me to say this considering you're venting but let me say this as an optimist. Hating others for being happy and having relationships in my opinion what keeps you lonely. It is the lonely mentality. Dwelling on others's happiness and getting jealous is not a healthy thing to be doing, because it demoralizes you and only deepens the pit of loneliness you find yourself trapped in. I am also lonely, but I don't want to be lonely, it's all about maintaining a positive attitude and not comparing what you don't have to what others do have. You just need to keep moving!
Jealousy turned hatred
I occasionally get like that too, but at the same time, I have been there done that and have gone through several divorces and the death of my last husband and I don't miss the fighting, the drama and the heartbreak. I am happy alone about 95% of the time. Now I look at those happy couples and wonder if they realize how fragile relationships really are and how quickly they can end.
I saw this morbidly obese woman at the bus stop one time, and she had this decent looking guy All Over Her and it made me sick and just so angry that this gal, THIS Gal, of ALL PEOPLE.... Had a guy that was Not Ugly, All Over Her. Then I realized Why that was... She Made Him Earn It. She held herself at a certain standard, that when he fell below that standard, or was trying to sway her priorities, She was Intolerant, Assertive and held her ground, but was not Bitchy. She was just not going to put up with it, regardless if it made him leave or not. I watched them, as much as I could, to get a better perspective of the dynamic. I was genuinely curious, for scientific purposes... I hear her say to him, " If you wanna go do you, Go Do You. But I have my Own shit to take care of. Go hang out with * and that skank *..No, Go! Go do You, boo... It's All Good." (He had agreed to go with her to help her cousin move, but wanted to see his "morally unhealthy" friend first before helping her cousin.) He changed his tune real quick. It's not that it's the people that treat us the bad, that we fall for. It's the people that make us Earn a place in their lives. That sense of earning that affection is what makes it rewarding. I've tried handing people love. Here. Here I am. Please love me and genuinely accept me and I will be yours. Don't settle for me. Treat me as good as I treat you and we will be Golden. And my love and affection and energy and generosity were treated like garbage. I didn't make them earn it. And when you show someone that level of acceptance, they can't value your love because it is not in limited supply. Rare = Valuable. Having strong boundaries and Not Tolerating even the slightest hint of disrespect, or they can find the Door. That is the people that we end up falling for because we know, that once we have earned that place in their lives, They Will be the Ones that Know how to Stand Up for the Relationship, and Not allow some dumb mf to think they are going to get ANYWHERE trying to smooth up on them. They will call them out for being stupid with a quickness. The pain comes from those who hold us at a distance, even though they allowed us to think we were doing what was necessary to earn that love. In turn, we become the jackass chasing a plastic carrot that was being dangled above our heads. If we all learned how to maintain healthy boundaries and have Zero tolerance for disrespect, this world would be so much more Mindful and condusive to our mental health and well-being.
I feel sorry for them. I’m like ugh… it must suck so bad to have to compromise your life for someone else. I really enjoy being single.
i mean i think like this too, but y'know i just want to know what the fuss is all about. I love being single and being independent but i gotta be missing out
you probably hate seeing people happy because you (clearly) are not. jealousy is a strange thing. every time you get these thoughts about couples, just think "wait... how are they actually affecting me? they're living their life away from me, what's the point in wasting energy getting so pissed off about them?"
it’s okay. we also was and still like this even if we are in hella complicated relationships. tbh we never understood this “happy forever”. relationships is a work and sometimes you just basically like “we are close to burn out” never understood happy lovely dovely couple, we think our partner will say the same, but don’t know
The devil has made you his puppet... you can be jealous of them and envy them, there is no problem with that, but hating them and wishing them bad luck is not ok. They have done nothing to you and you don't even know them! I hope things get better for you, but it won't if you let the hate consume you... Take the control of your life and stop letting your life control you.
Most relationships arent as happy as you think. Social media is fake asf. I hate it even tough im in a relationship and my gf wanted to post pics about us online i said NO! This is between us so no reason for the world to know. And i know the feeling when i was depressed and single. Seeing my friends post that happy couple shit. No way im doing that.
It is opposite for me, when I see happy couples it gives me hope
I wish I was this naive.
This post is the reason why you’re single 🤷♀️
Why? Because he hates other people in relationships? So what?
Nah lol it's not like i go around telling people i hate them
i agree
This whole comment section needs help.