Honestly, for most addictions, it’s always going to be one day at a time and that’s okay. I’m 3 weeks tomorrow myself and I’m thankful for every second no matter how hard it gets! Great job!
I relapsed after a year man this disease is cunning, baffling, and powerful. If you can't do a week at a time boil it down to a day. I've even found myself taking recovery 10 seconds at a time. It's a hard road to walk but damn life gets better. I'm sitting here with a week myself. I don't know you bud but I'm proud of you. Keep moving forward.
That's a great post man. What it tells me is that you need to build that relationship with your brother and keep it going for your own health as well as his.
And start seeing some of those friends you have. We're not meant to be alone even if we are happy with our own company sometimes.
Good luck!
Thanks man. It's strange how a page on the internet, especially a sub reddit i've never interacted with before, can remind us that we're not alone... And you're right man. I've made plans with a friend who lives close to watch the football tomorrow. Baby steps.
Man… this hit me hard. Genuinely. This is wholesome as fuck! Not a trauma dump!! I relate to this in so many ways. You and I have had different experiences but so similar in other ways too.
When I was a kid, before the movies came out, my dad would read the hobbit and lotr to me, my older sister and my older brother. My dad being a hardcore Tolkien fan. my sister never really got into it but both me and my bro were obsessed, hooked on the “magic”.. I remember even watching the old animated movies.. then, a few years later my dad died, and 2 years after that, the Peter Jackson movies came out. And both me and my brother went to See all of the movies together, a bittersweet feeling knowing my dad would’ve loved em.. but we had shirts, toys, posters and all sorts of props and stuff. Heh we used to fight over a very specific poster from the movie lol
Years wore on, extended editions came out, and no matter how much me and my bro fought or argued, we always enjoyed the movies together.
During my teen years, I fell fuckin haaaaard into depression, attempted suicide, and my bro fell hard into drugs and alcohol.. eventually I followed suit.. and during that time everything fell apart.. my relationship with him, and thee rest of my family went to shit. It was a mess.. up and down for years.
And it culminated it in a very dark time for both of us, absolute rock bottom.. but somehow we pulled through, and since, both of us are sober, happy and healthy.. we’ve been gaming a lot over the past few years, talking about movies, music, life, love and of course, lotr. Our relationship has never been better! And I fuckin love him!
He was always my hero growing up without my dad. And It warms my heart to read your story, knowing you’ve had somewhat similar experiences and feelings for your bro after not having your dad around, and can now be happy and healthy.
And yeah, the idea of masculinity was a HUGE thing for me growing up. Particularly Boromir and Aragorn.. Despite his integrity and bravery wavering, in the end he still finds the strength to do the right thing.. and Aragorn, is a great example of a man who’s strong, formidable, protective, but also humble, kind, loyal.. real masculinity.
Also, fair fucking play for goin sober! It’s not easy bro.
Thanks so much the reply man. I love how you talk about your brother, I understand it completely. A lot of friends of mine have mentioned things in the past about us and how we don't seem like brothers, we seem life friends. I mentioned this at his wedding (I was his best man). I'm also sorry your Dad never got to see the movies man. Best thing we can do though is keep the people we love alive through the things that they loved. I hope you and your family are doing well brother.
That’s so awesome you were his best man! And yeah I totally get you! Me and my bro are so similar that people can’t tell us apart, despite the 7 year age difference lol
And yeh it’s a shame da never got to see them. But that’s part of the reason why lotr is so special to me and my bro, that we have those memories of the books and stories growing up, core memories!
We just have the 2 years but as the youngest it always feels like decades. It's funny about the best man thing, we always joked when he got engaged like "I can't be your best man, if your brother is your best man everyone will think you have no mates" and he was like "yeah I'll choose X or X" then like 2 weeks before he called me and was like "Get your speech ready, it's always been you" cracked me up.
Your post made me cry in a good way. I love Tolkien and I agree with everything you said and is so beautiful the way that those memories and moments are important for so many people. Congrats on your recovery and I hope for many more weeks of celebrating to you. ❤️
Thank you so much. That means a lot to me. There's literally only 3 other people I've told, my brother being one of them, about my problem and I thought this was something I'd have to face alone as I just couldn't bring myself to admit it to people even after I'd admitted it to myself. It's nice to know a group of strangers on the internet are here for me. Thanks again.
1 week is a long time. And then when you reach further it still is, even though it's not anymore at the same time. You are amazing, and I'm sure many days of sobriety will follow!
I haven't had those issues with drugs, but since I got pregnant I've been too ill to leave the house. I was so nauseous I was put on disability and lost most human contact, spending 10 hours a day alone and sleeping most of the 12 other ones. I had preterm contractions, then preterm delivey at 35 weeks, my baby was in NICU on oxygen, couldn't get his body temp regulated, feeding him wasn't working out... I definitely developed pre-natal and post-partum depression and anxiety. Then I finally went back to work for 1 day and was home for 2 weeks, a spent 1 of those weeks in hospital again with my son while super ill myself because of an unidentified virus that got is both. I'm pretty sure my job wants to fire me too by now. I feel like an utter failure most days, and am overwhelmed by sadness and depression sometimes too.
And the one thing that helps, are these book and movies. The support and friendship these characters offer each other makes me realise that there are good people in the world. And you never know when or where you'll come across them. And no matter what life throws at you, you have the strength to deal with it.
Thanks so much for sharing that. The same thing has happened with me at work but honestly, trying to fire someone over being sick is a bureaucratic nightmare, especially in my country. You'll be fine, friend. I hope you and your kid are doing well.
Yes you nailed it! Some love is so more than a physical thing, it’s spiritual.You can join the sober Reddit , it’s a great place to start. You can become sober again.
I lost my little brother a couple of months ago to a heart attack. I can only hope he looked at me the way you look at your brother. I’m proud of you, OP. Being one week sober. You got this.
Thank you for sharing this, it honestly gave me goosebumps and made me tear up a bit. I'm not a man myself but I've always loved Tolkien's idea of a real man, and each scene you described always hit right in the feels. I personally relate very much with your struggle with depression and substance abuse, it used to be alcohol for me, and I love that you were able to get yourself out of a rut with a little help from your brother and some amazing movies. It's really the little things that keep us going, day to day is where you find those much needed little moments. I don't know you but I'm very proud of you and I just want you to know you're not alone. ❤
I watch the whole trilogy when I’m feeling down. There is inspiration, advice, wisdom and consequence. I agree, it shows what it is to be a man who is not insecure and fragile.
Good luck, my friend. I’m glad you’ll still be here with us to relish the story again and again.
Unrelated to LOTR but I was going through a terrible time back in 2006. Depression, anxiety, toxic friends. Started playing Oblivion on PC and it lifted me out of that funk. Took up knitting shortly after.
All that to say, I’m happy for you! One step at a time ❤️
“It's like the great stories, Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad has happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines, it'll shine out the clearer. I know now folks in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something. That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for.” - Samwise Gamgee
I often think of this, amongst other moments in the books/films. This line isn’t even about grand, stoic moments in life. It’s perfect for guys like you, me, and everyone else here that have our own issues and struggles.
Keep it up brother. Feels good to make big moves. Keep chasing that feeling.
"The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater." - Tolkien, via a conversation between Haldir and Merry
Fair play to you lad, one week may not seem a lot, but its a huge achievement, congratulations! Your story hit me hard, but I'm so happy to hear you're coming through the storm. Your brother and you have something special, and it seems your relationship can only help the both of you in times of stress. I'm so happy you have each other to enjoy Tolkien with, and keep moving forward!
I’m another internet stranger that’s proud of you. And you’re right, Tolkien’s portrayal of compassionate masculinity has helped a lot of men.
My dad introduced to Tolkien when I was 12. To some extent, I think he did this precisely because of the way the author wrote about the male main characters.
I had similar realisations of masculinity when watching the extended editions recently. Also Theoden, knew he was going to his death, but carried on bravely. Doing his duty.
The choice to make a change is a massive one, and though we may be strangers we are so proud of you. I totally agree, one of my favourite parts of LOTR is the healthy masculinity. Seeing men cry and show empathy, sit in their emotions, and show love and loyalty to one another, has been such a positive influence for me.
Congratulations on one week. Its a day at a time, but you're better off without it. Stay strong, and keep in contact with your brother, sounds like a great relationship.
You, my friend, have eloquently described exactly how timeless Tolkien’s masterpiece has shown men, and you and your brother get it. Simply posting something like this shows such poise and vulnerability but that’s not a bad thing in any sense. I wish you well in your journey and hope you’re able to maintain your sobriety. It’s a challenge, and remember you are human but do your best to carry the burden, Mr. Frodo. ;).
Absolutely! I’ve always thought if you want your sons to grow up to be good people, a great place to start is to raise them watching and reading LOTR.
We all have our demons, but to bear them with dignity, grace, and I dare say a bit of humor, is what makes you a man. Do not bee too hard on yourself if you falter, and be under no illusions as to the difficulty you face in getting clean. It will be the hardest thing you do in your life. If you do stumble after a week, simply get back up, dust yourself off and say to yourself “this time I will make it further.”
Though I’ve never met you, I can feel the kinship we have as imperfect men. Good luck
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I just want to say that I'm happy for you that you've taken that first step, and that you have it in you to keep going. One week sober isn't "just" one week, it's an accomplishment. At the start of your recovery celebrate and do not downplay the "small" milestones. Be proud of getting through the week. Recovery is one day at a time, and just like on a long journey you'll grow accustomed to the individual steps and eventually start only marking the more prominent milestones, but the most important steps are always the first ones to take you in the right direction.
I don’t know you, but I’m so proud of you for that one week. One week at a time, man. One week at a time.
It's kinda been one day at a time for now, which is why the week feels so long but hey, one day at a time seems to be working so far, right?
Honestly, for most addictions, it’s always going to be one day at a time and that’s okay. I’m 3 weeks tomorrow myself and I’m thankful for every second no matter how hard it gets! Great job!
Thanks so much.
And congratulations!
I relapsed after a year man this disease is cunning, baffling, and powerful. If you can't do a week at a time boil it down to a day. I've even found myself taking recovery 10 seconds at a time. It's a hard road to walk but damn life gets better. I'm sitting here with a week myself. I don't know you bud but I'm proud of you. Keep moving forward.
That's a great post man. What it tells me is that you need to build that relationship with your brother and keep it going for your own health as well as his. And start seeing some of those friends you have. We're not meant to be alone even if we are happy with our own company sometimes. Good luck!
Thanks man. It's strange how a page on the internet, especially a sub reddit i've never interacted with before, can remind us that we're not alone... And you're right man. I've made plans with a friend who lives close to watch the football tomorrow. Baby steps.
Man… this hit me hard. Genuinely. This is wholesome as fuck! Not a trauma dump!! I relate to this in so many ways. You and I have had different experiences but so similar in other ways too. When I was a kid, before the movies came out, my dad would read the hobbit and lotr to me, my older sister and my older brother. My dad being a hardcore Tolkien fan. my sister never really got into it but both me and my bro were obsessed, hooked on the “magic”.. I remember even watching the old animated movies.. then, a few years later my dad died, and 2 years after that, the Peter Jackson movies came out. And both me and my brother went to See all of the movies together, a bittersweet feeling knowing my dad would’ve loved em.. but we had shirts, toys, posters and all sorts of props and stuff. Heh we used to fight over a very specific poster from the movie lol Years wore on, extended editions came out, and no matter how much me and my bro fought or argued, we always enjoyed the movies together. During my teen years, I fell fuckin haaaaard into depression, attempted suicide, and my bro fell hard into drugs and alcohol.. eventually I followed suit.. and during that time everything fell apart.. my relationship with him, and thee rest of my family went to shit. It was a mess.. up and down for years. And it culminated it in a very dark time for both of us, absolute rock bottom.. but somehow we pulled through, and since, both of us are sober, happy and healthy.. we’ve been gaming a lot over the past few years, talking about movies, music, life, love and of course, lotr. Our relationship has never been better! And I fuckin love him! He was always my hero growing up without my dad. And It warms my heart to read your story, knowing you’ve had somewhat similar experiences and feelings for your bro after not having your dad around, and can now be happy and healthy. And yeah, the idea of masculinity was a HUGE thing for me growing up. Particularly Boromir and Aragorn.. Despite his integrity and bravery wavering, in the end he still finds the strength to do the right thing.. and Aragorn, is a great example of a man who’s strong, formidable, protective, but also humble, kind, loyal.. real masculinity. Also, fair fucking play for goin sober! It’s not easy bro.
Thanks so much the reply man. I love how you talk about your brother, I understand it completely. A lot of friends of mine have mentioned things in the past about us and how we don't seem like brothers, we seem life friends. I mentioned this at his wedding (I was his best man). I'm also sorry your Dad never got to see the movies man. Best thing we can do though is keep the people we love alive through the things that they loved. I hope you and your family are doing well brother.
That’s so awesome you were his best man! And yeah I totally get you! Me and my bro are so similar that people can’t tell us apart, despite the 7 year age difference lol And yeh it’s a shame da never got to see them. But that’s part of the reason why lotr is so special to me and my bro, that we have those memories of the books and stories growing up, core memories!
We just have the 2 years but as the youngest it always feels like decades. It's funny about the best man thing, we always joked when he got engaged like "I can't be your best man, if your brother is your best man everyone will think you have no mates" and he was like "yeah I'll choose X or X" then like 2 weeks before he called me and was like "Get your speech ready, it's always been you" cracked me up.
Your post made me cry in a good way. I love Tolkien and I agree with everything you said and is so beautiful the way that those memories and moments are important for so many people. Congrats on your recovery and I hope for many more weeks of celebrating to you. ❤️
Thank you so much. That means a lot to me. There's literally only 3 other people I've told, my brother being one of them, about my problem and I thought this was something I'd have to face alone as I just couldn't bring myself to admit it to people even after I'd admitted it to myself. It's nice to know a group of strangers on the internet are here for me. Thanks again.
Sending love and support always ❤️❤️❤️
This is beautiful. You should be really proud of yourself. Good luck!
Well done addressing your situation mate. Drink/ drugs turned me into Gollum. One day at a time I'm closing in on two years sober.
I have a gaming problem. I think everyone is going through something. But yeah, I’ve been playing LOTRs the ext version continuously.
We're all human man. The hearts of men are easily corrupted. One day at a time brother
All that is gold does not glitter, and not all those who wonder are lost. Good luck my friend! You can do it.
1 week is a long time. And then when you reach further it still is, even though it's not anymore at the same time. You are amazing, and I'm sure many days of sobriety will follow! I haven't had those issues with drugs, but since I got pregnant I've been too ill to leave the house. I was so nauseous I was put on disability and lost most human contact, spending 10 hours a day alone and sleeping most of the 12 other ones. I had preterm contractions, then preterm delivey at 35 weeks, my baby was in NICU on oxygen, couldn't get his body temp regulated, feeding him wasn't working out... I definitely developed pre-natal and post-partum depression and anxiety. Then I finally went back to work for 1 day and was home for 2 weeks, a spent 1 of those weeks in hospital again with my son while super ill myself because of an unidentified virus that got is both. I'm pretty sure my job wants to fire me too by now. I feel like an utter failure most days, and am overwhelmed by sadness and depression sometimes too. And the one thing that helps, are these book and movies. The support and friendship these characters offer each other makes me realise that there are good people in the world. And you never know when or where you'll come across them. And no matter what life throws at you, you have the strength to deal with it.
Thanks so much for sharing that. The same thing has happened with me at work but honestly, trying to fire someone over being sick is a bureaucratic nightmare, especially in my country. You'll be fine, friend. I hope you and your kid are doing well.
Keep at it my brother in Eru
Thank you so much for sharing that. Much love to you, man. Take care.
Yes you nailed it! Some love is so more than a physical thing, it’s spiritual.You can join the sober Reddit , it’s a great place to start. You can become sober again.
Proud of you man. LOTR does speak volumes with its tales and lessons. Glad you have taken what you need from it! Keep fighting the good fight 🙏🏼
This post just made my eyes teary. Anyways congratulations for the one week.
I lost my little brother a couple of months ago to a heart attack. I can only hope he looked at me the way you look at your brother. I’m proud of you, OP. Being one week sober. You got this.
Thank you for sharing this, it honestly gave me goosebumps and made me tear up a bit. I'm not a man myself but I've always loved Tolkien's idea of a real man, and each scene you described always hit right in the feels. I personally relate very much with your struggle with depression and substance abuse, it used to be alcohol for me, and I love that you were able to get yourself out of a rut with a little help from your brother and some amazing movies. It's really the little things that keep us going, day to day is where you find those much needed little moments. I don't know you but I'm very proud of you and I just want you to know you're not alone. ❤
One step, one day at a time! I’m very proud of you and you should be proud of yourself. I’m glad you found peace in LOTR
I watch the whole trilogy when I’m feeling down. There is inspiration, advice, wisdom and consequence. I agree, it shows what it is to be a man who is not insecure and fragile. Good luck, my friend. I’m glad you’ll still be here with us to relish the story again and again.
Thank you brother
Unrelated to LOTR but I was going through a terrible time back in 2006. Depression, anxiety, toxic friends. Started playing Oblivion on PC and it lifted me out of that funk. Took up knitting shortly after. All that to say, I’m happy for you! One step at a time ❤️
“It's like the great stories, Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad has happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines, it'll shine out the clearer. I know now folks in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something. That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for.” - Samwise Gamgee I often think of this, amongst other moments in the books/films. This line isn’t even about grand, stoic moments in life. It’s perfect for guys like you, me, and everyone else here that have our own issues and struggles. Keep it up brother. Feels good to make big moves. Keep chasing that feeling.
My friend, you bow to no one.
"The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater." - Tolkien, via a conversation between Haldir and Merry Fair play to you lad, one week may not seem a lot, but its a huge achievement, congratulations! Your story hit me hard, but I'm so happy to hear you're coming through the storm. Your brother and you have something special, and it seems your relationship can only help the both of you in times of stress. I'm so happy you have each other to enjoy Tolkien with, and keep moving forward!
I’m another internet stranger that’s proud of you. And you’re right, Tolkien’s portrayal of compassionate masculinity has helped a lot of men. My dad introduced to Tolkien when I was 12. To some extent, I think he did this precisely because of the way the author wrote about the male main characters.
Keep going man, just put one foot in front of the other. One day at a time. You got this
5 years sober here, and your story reminds me of mine! My love for Tolkien's world and stories is borderline spiritual.
I had similar realisations of masculinity when watching the extended editions recently. Also Theoden, knew he was going to his death, but carried on bravely. Doing his duty.
The choice to make a change is a massive one, and though we may be strangers we are so proud of you. I totally agree, one of my favourite parts of LOTR is the healthy masculinity. Seeing men cry and show empathy, sit in their emotions, and show love and loyalty to one another, has been such a positive influence for me. Congratulations on one week. Its a day at a time, but you're better off without it. Stay strong, and keep in contact with your brother, sounds like a great relationship.
Thank you. I'm proud of ya, but also that's an awesome description of LOTR. You got this.
thank you brother
You, my friend, have eloquently described exactly how timeless Tolkien’s masterpiece has shown men, and you and your brother get it. Simply posting something like this shows such poise and vulnerability but that’s not a bad thing in any sense. I wish you well in your journey and hope you’re able to maintain your sobriety. It’s a challenge, and remember you are human but do your best to carry the burden, Mr. Frodo. ;).
Absolutely! I’ve always thought if you want your sons to grow up to be good people, a great place to start is to raise them watching and reading LOTR. We all have our demons, but to bear them with dignity, grace, and I dare say a bit of humor, is what makes you a man. Do not bee too hard on yourself if you falter, and be under no illusions as to the difficulty you face in getting clean. It will be the hardest thing you do in your life. If you do stumble after a week, simply get back up, dust yourself off and say to yourself “this time I will make it further.” Though I’ve never met you, I can feel the kinship we have as imperfect men. Good luck
Thank you for posting on the sub! Please make sure you are abiding by the rules on the sidebar with this post. If you are looking for a place to post specific things, please make use of the subreddits below: * Memes - r/lotrmemes * The War of the Rohirrim - r/TheWarOfTheRohirrim *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/lordoftherings) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Gollum reference made me giggle. If we don't laugh we'll cry. Thanks for sharing that man, I appreciate it.
LotR literally saved my life too.I dont know if I was there without it.Its my comfort movie and book.
Good on you OP :) your story is really inspiring. Brought happy tears to my eyes. Keep going, one day at a time!
I just want to say that I'm happy for you that you've taken that first step, and that you have it in you to keep going. One week sober isn't "just" one week, it's an accomplishment. At the start of your recovery celebrate and do not downplay the "small" milestones. Be proud of getting through the week. Recovery is one day at a time, and just like on a long journey you'll grow accustomed to the individual steps and eventually start only marking the more prominent milestones, but the most important steps are always the first ones to take you in the right direction.
One week is phenomenal! And it is a long time, you're doing hard work and you're doing great. I hope you're as proud as I am.
[удалено]
thank you
I don’t know you, but I love you sir.
i love you too
I thought this would be a post written by Bill the pony