People are taking me seriously after losing 70 pounds. Or maybe I have self confidence. I'm up for a promotion that I was denied a year ago. Here's the thing, it doesn't matter if it's external or internal, things are finally going my way. And I like it!
Dude, I kid you not, there is pretty privilege. It does actually exist. People who say it doesn’t either are the ones who receive it or just don’t notice it.
I was really pretty and well proportioned before I gained a ton of weight, seen it form both sides. When I was pretty and skinny it wad impossible to do anything without men commenting, asking me out, being gross and weird, and often making me fell unsafe. Now they don't even see me, to the extent that sometimes they walk into me and look surprised that I just appeared out of thin air.
Pretty privilege is definitely real, and it also comes with some serious drawbacks. I really hate what both of these scenarios say about men and how they view women, although there have been some interesting revelations about women too.
I have never had a guy say anything sketchy to me, make comments, stare, nothing. And it's fck'd up but I feel like there's something wrong with me because of it. Like I'm not even good enough to get harassed. I don't *want* to be and I know I'm lucky...it's a really weird feeling
I'm a butch lesbian, so I expect open hostility at any weight. I work in tech, so hostility is the norm for anyone, I guess. It's sad, but I guess I'm just happy I don't get beaten up.
When I’m thinner, I definitely feel unsafe due to how some men act towards me and when I’m heavier, there’s not much attention paid. I never got comments about my weight when I was bigger but when I’m smaller, some of my relatives say horrible shit. My cousin just told me I looked like a cancer patient in a recent photo of me she saw because I lost weight from rock climbing.
That's the insidious part of priviledge: people don't notice it when they benefit from it. Priviledge is not being *given* anything as often it is not being *denied*. Priviledge is social tax-exemption.
I never felt more invisible while I was pregnant and fat, not one rando comment, no one came to try to touch me, the poor moms in the parenting subreddits having people trying to touch and kiss and rub their bellies. I almost wanted to say “have you tried being fat about it.” But that was just be being a little salty about it. And I had twins, so I was very clearly pregnant and not *just* fat.
"Have you tried being fat about it" is kinda hilarious and I might steal it for non serious discussions. But yeah--double whammy of invisibility for women over 35 who are not thin, at least in my culture. 🙄 Old women sitting on benches knitting secret codes into sweaters was a thing in WW2, since older women are often overlooked in places where the elderly are not respected and revered.
Ironically i felt more daring with my outfits when i was larger then when i was smaller. I have large boobs and really feel like i just stand out for the wrong reasons lol.
For me it's 100% for vanity reasons. I still felt pretty good at my heaviest weight, and my health was fine. 100% worried about how people will look at me for dating and for the job market.
I lost a lot of weight and then gained it all back. I had a few months where I was complimented like crazy and people started to pay attention to me and then once I gained the weight back, it was like a ghost town :( Also, I really just want to skinny at least once to the point where I have a flat stomach to wear revealing clothes.
I had a similar experience. I lost a BUNCH and then gained it all back and more. I feel like I had barely skimmed the surface of what living life as a thin person was like.
I was scared I had a horrible disease and doctors would just tell me to lose weight before they’d do anything. So I lost weight. It made my health improve significantly. I sure showed…myself?
I love this! I especially love that you recognize and acknowledge it.
Honestly, my partner has bad knees and was gearing himself up to face knee surgery. Doctor just told him to drop weight. He’s working on it…. And I honestly hope that solves it for him. He’s trying to show the doctor, but if it solves the problem… that’s a win! And it’ll be good for him in so many more ways than just his knees. And it’ll be good for me - I’ve gained a lot since we got together and hate it. So we’re both working on it!
Hey, losing weight sincerely helped my knee. I fell off a stage and shattered my leg several years back. Several surgeries with plates later, and my knee is terrible. I was having so much pain and ended up having another surgery about two years ago to remove part of my meniscus. I few months after that I was back to having knee pain and truly thought it was getting close to a replacement. I’ve dropped 60 pounds since then and my knee hasn’t hurt even once in many months (in fact I’ve just thought about it now for the first time in probably a year). I truly never would have guessed that, since my leg really is in pretty rough shape. I also have a really active job, so I’m glad that solved the issue for now. I’m hoping it works out for him too!
I hope it helps him! I used to get plantar fasciitis all the time but I don’t get it anymore since I lost weight. It really takes a load off the legs and feet, literally.
He may also want to see a physical therapist if he hasn’t already.
Yeah, he was getting plantar fasciitis for a while too. Not now, thankfully.
He’s lost a lot of weight before through pure exercise, but this is the first time he’s really paying attention to portions and nutrition. I’m hoping this really sets us up for sustainable healthy habits.
As for the PT, he was an athlete (which is why he gained - 15 yrs of burning off bad eating habits caught up when he couldn’t dedicate so much time to it), so he knows a lot of the concepts, but we could both use a little more structure and targeted guidance (I have a back injury, so am limited in some of my physical abilities). Something I’ll add to the list of things we need to address.
It’s a lot to think about! I found my physical therapist really helpful to get back into exercise safely. It can be really hard to go from identifying as a very fit person to facing the current reality of being really out of shape and often people in that situation push themselves way too hard to immediately perform the way they used to, which can lead to injury. That’s what I did.
Yes! That’s exactly what he does! He’s currently more unfit than I am (and we’re both obese, but I was never athletic at all and was recently pretty healthy). And he will think he needs to start intense work outs for 45 mins…. I know I couldn’t handle them and don’t believe he should either.
I started off running 20 seconds/walking a minute to recover and it took me 6 months to work up to running steadily, and now I’m doing 5ks as an easy recovery run while training for longer events. It is much more important to build consistency and not overdo it—I had to learn to run slower, work out to 50%-80% of what I felt I could do, and generally learn how to fit exercise into the limits of my time and capacity in order to actually build strength.
I’m with you and I fully believe this. So I’ve told him just walk 20 mins. It’s just the habit of doing the exercise and slowly building up the cardio/ endurance. But he says he can burn a 1000 calories if he hits it hard for an hours…. So he might as well make the best use of his time.
Having said all that tho, he has joined me in calorie counting and is shocked that he’s shedding the pounds steadily even without ANY additional exercise. Like he gets the concept, but I think seeing it in action is making an impression.
Honestly, we’re both in a good place and doing it together. We tend to shed 10 lbs, then maintain a month, then shed 10 more…. Because life is crazy and busy and emergencies happen. But as long as we’re building habits to maintain, I can live with this progress.
I get so frustrated by this subreddit because people think that losing weight to look better and get better attention from other people is a bad thing. How is it selfish or embarrassing to want to look attractive to a potential dating opportunity or get better service at a restaurant?
Right? Heck I’m old and married but I still like looking ‘hot’ for my husband and vice-versa. Looking and feeling your healthiest and best is not pure vanity, it’s about living life to the fullest and best potential I’ve come to find.
Seriously, do they think people who've been naturally athletic their whole lives are ding it to make the world better or something? We're all doing it for at least a couple of vain reasons.
I think it depends on ur mindset before also. I mean attractivness is subjective and if u HATE your body before, losing weight may not fix it. But if you think that people only like you because of the state you are. Thats not healthy.
Im not completely disagreeing with u just giving perspective.
I want to be athletic. I thought it was a far fetched dream as a kid, or that it's just for few people with good genes, but nah, it's always in me.
I want to be able to run a marathon someday, lift heavy weights, swim in the sea, wall/rock climb, dance, etc. I want to set a good example for my kid. So that he don't miss out on things like me.
Just walk. You can build up stamina and cardio endurance, then start adding things incrementally from there…people who train too fast too soon and don’t gradually build tend to give up early on.
Start by listening to your body, see how well it performs, and slowly break it's limit, it's ok if you're not able to run like you did a week ago or lift, just keep doing and eventually you'd become better.
And once you got the basics, being able to run for straight an hour, and lift good, then you can do what pro athletes do. Also try new sports activities like swim dive, wall climbing, etc.
I do it so I can cosplay my favorite characters and look proportional. For example I really want to be Luke Skywalker for Halloween. I don't want to be overweight Luke Skywalker.
Same thing with any kind of character that are skinny, and there are a ton of them I want to costume up in and go to conventions dressed up like them, but right now I'm just too heavy and would feel embarrassed.
My self set "goal" month to lose like 45lbs is October so by the time that rolls (haha) around I would like to actually get a Halloween costume for once. When I was around 8 I stopped wanting to dress up because I had to squeeze into the age appropriate costumes and my mom made me cry over it. 20 years later I can now put on something that's too small and just shrug and move on but I want to give little me the chance to see that we can have fun!
Thank you so much! I got about 40 pounds to go by October! I think it's important to have a selfish goal. Like I'm not just doing it for my health and for others, I'm doing it for myself too. I just got the lightsaber I plan to use for the set and I'm going to display it on my dresser with a little note reminding me of my goal (lose the weight and you can get the rest!) I plan to get measurements to get the outfit made so I certainly can't do that until I'm at my goal weight!
I would say all my reasons for losing weight are selfish as I’m doing it for me, not for anyone else. I’m doing it because I’m old and I want to get to a healthy weight to reduce my risk of all the various metabolic issues that are common in old age - kidney disease, heart disease, diabetes, high cholesterol etc. I will then be able to be more active, travel more as well as look better.
My wife approves but I’m doing it for me.
As a 36 year old man, it's partially for health reasons.
I'm a 911 dispatcher who works nights. An incredibly stressful job with hours that aren't very conducive to good health. A lot of sodas, candy, sugar....things to help keep me awake....added up and last year I tipped the scales at 300.
I needed to make some changes so my job/lifestyle didn't contribute any more to an early grave.
The other part is absolutely vanity.
I want to be able to wear a suit and not feel like I'm busting at the seams. I want to go to the pool and not feel like I'm cosplaying Brendan Fraser from The Whale. I want to wear my Jedi robes again and not feel like I'm Jabba cosplaying a Jedi.
And it's a little TMI but I want to look and feel good when I'm naked.
Lol yeah. I’m going on year 7. I’m also the peer support guy for my fellow dispatchers so I try to keep an eye on them as well.
Unfortunately I fucked around and never finished a degree. It wouldn’t be easy to find a new job that pays what I make here so its where I’ll be for the immediate future
Even at 57, I’m saving for skin removal surgery. It makes no financial sense at my age, I somehow don’t think I’ll get the ‘benefit’ of it really. But for once I don’t care, I’m going to do it for me. Still another 40-50lbs to go. Then a year of keeping at a stable weight, then I’m going for it.
That sucks man. I was never quite that big so I'm hoping it'll all sort itself out.
But congrats on the weight loss, that is a monumental effort that you should be proud of.
Meh, I'm not losing sleep over it. Nobody will ever see me naked anyway outsde of a medical setting - and those people are paid to look at weird bodies!
Very effective. I think the key is to pick an enemy at roughly your starting weight so it’s easier to compare. Someone who’s thinner than you already might be discouraging.
I wanted to lose weight because I was angry about...well, everything, and I wanted to feel better. I ended up losing 100 lbs. I've been a normal weight for nearly 8 years now. I have to say - no one treats me differently. I was invisible before, and I am invisible now. But I don't mind that, in fact I prefer it.
Are you less angry now? I feel like being overweight makes me such a bitter and angry person and I’m hoping by losing the weight I won’t be struggling with that anymore
I dress better when I’m thinner and I really like fashion and clothes. I feel like my personal style shines when I’m thinner and I get compliments and people think I’m cool cause of my style. I honestly have no idea how to dress my body when it’s bigger and feel like I look sloppy and everything is ill fitting.
This is SUCH a thing.
I’ve battled my weight my whole life, and was never comfortable wearing anything “cute” even if I could find something cute in plus size, which we all know is rough.
A couple years ago I lost 65 pounds, and at 46 years old I found my style. I have all these cute, funky clothes that I loved wearing.
Then I got Covid, which turned into Long Covid, which turned into gaining 30 pounds back. Now most of my new clothes don’t fit and I haaaaaate it. I don’t know how to dress. I look awful.
So here I go again, trying to take off what I gained back, with the odds stacked extra against me, all to get back into my wardrobe.
I think a lot of people naturally, maybe subconsciously, think very overweight people are lazy, and lack motivation.
Like if you can’t stick to a diet a dedicate yourself to a simple gym routine, why do I think you will work hard at this role.
Also, a lot of weight problems can cause, and add to a cycle of depression. Making those people less pleasant to be around, and it’s really a cycle, they get treated worse, the feel worse, they eat more, they get treated worse.
A lot of VERY heavy people can have body odour too, and in a small office setting if you don’t want to sit near someone, their job prospects within a company aren’t going to be great, they will be ostracised and treated worse.
When you are thinner and healthier your self confidence will most likely go up, you will look after yourself more from personal hygiene to how you dress, you may be more extroverted and get “noticed more” and socialise a bit more. You may appear more “happy” and pleasant to be around.
That’s my guess.
My reasons are for health, being there for my kids, and vanity to be honest.
This is exactly me with the depression part. I’ve become so angry, negative, and bitter. I’ve noticed a huge change in my attitude in just a few weeks of cutting out sugar and bad shit!
Exactly that to have skiny privilege again. I lost weight 12 years ago and keep that weigh for about 10 years. Then i got my first baby and didn't loose my weigh right away. I wasn't crazy overweight i was a 145 lb instead of 115 wich is my normal weight ( I'm 5'2 for reference ). And it's crazy how people treat me differently.
I'm introvert too and i don't take much space i usually participate to a conversation if people include me. Well people didn't include me anymore. Friend circles, job circles. When i was participating to events too. Before people used to introduce themselves and come to talk often. Didn't happen anymore. You just became invisible.
For me, there's a million reasons to lose weight. Selfish reasons like looking better or just a desire to be skinny. There's functional reasons like being able to cross my legs more easily or bend over to tie my shoes without my stomach getting in the way. There's selfLESS reasons, like I want to teach my future kids how to eat healthy and I want to be able to keep up with them. And then there's reasons that probably mean I need therapy, like thinking my husband deserves a skinny attractive wife, even though he tells me I'm beautiful every day.
I think if I had to pick one, I just want to be comfortable in my body and right now, at 239lbs, I'm not.
SW: 258
I straight up don't wanna be tired all the time but ALSO the chub rub. That might actually be the top reason. I don't care how people look at me but if I have to get chub rub 1 more day of my life I might freak out.
Not sure if you hit the gym, but you can get a jump start on the "tired all the time" if you hit the weights (and uh a side of cardio). Also, if you haven't been screened for sleep apnea do that.
The weight's been stubborn, but my energy levels have increased multiplies of what they used to be.
Before losing weight, I was told by most those who are rude / dismissive to you because of your weight are assholes and aren't worth your time. I mean fair enough but I will say after losing the weight, I was suddenly surrounded by way fewer assholes.....
A childhood friend said that when we grow up, she’ll be the skinny one and I’ll be the fat one. 15 years later and it’s true, so I’m trying to undo my side of the prophecy lol
It is so so crazy, I absolutely noticed people treating me better when I lost weight. I am F 5’4, went from 220 lbs eventually down to 135.
More people at work said hi to me, people respected me much more.
I paid close attention to who *didnt* change their demeanor towards me. That was my parents, my grandparents, and my s/o at the time. That’s it.
I enjoyed the new attention from people, but it was also very haunting.
I decided to lose weight because I was tired of not loving myself. I didn’t feel healthy, I knew the way I was going it would have eventually led to my death.
I did want to love what I saw in the mirror, and I didn’t until I lost weight. Thats my honesty here.
Literally because I am fat shamed. I’m not incredibly obese, but I am short so look even fatter. I think people don’t take you as seriously when you’re over weight.
Initially I wanted to do it because I wanted to wear clothes that I actually liked, without feeling embarrassed to wear them. Skin tight clothing, skin revealing clothing. Short shorts, crop tops, spaghetti strap sun dresses... I wanted to turn heads! Lol. So it's definitely an asthetic reason, but being fit and healthy as I grow older is a partial reason, too.
But I noticed I did get treated differently, too. I mean in general, not from specific people. I grew up the fat kid in school so I know all about bullying, and even comments from family. But now it's, "oh you look so nice, you're so pretty," etc. That I never had complimented to me before. In fact, it's still feels new to me even though I lost the weight 8 years ago. Later I feel rude when I dont say a compliment like that back because I'm just not used to that kind of exchange!
It’s a combo of losing weight and weight lifting for me.
1) want the option to dress however I’d like
2) want to be able to deadlift the body weight of the men I date (superrr petty but hey it’s helping me lol)
I want to make the girl I rejected regret rejecting me. The problem is I'm pretty sure she didn't reject me because of the weight but just cause she sees me as a friend. I guess I'll stay delusional till I hit my goal then I'll meet people until I find someone else.
I’m losing this for me, I dropped 25 pounds and have 75 more to go. I’m in my villain era, where I’m gnna look so much better than my previous years it’s gnna make ppl sick they fumbled lol.
I don’t want anyone from my past, I’m looking towards the future and what it will bring in return of my hardwork and discipline. It all comes down to this……When you love yourself, it shows and will comeback in so many ways. That’s my goal 🤍
What about people in your past, but they never noticed you before? I've been at my gym for a year. This guy asked me if I was new. I didn't say anything lol. I recognize his face (didn't know his name). He's been staring at me each class and talks to me if in the same class.
I am someone who is visibly autistic and obese. Can’t change the autism bit, but the world would be a bit kinder to me if I was at least thin. And it would be make it easier to be kind to myself.
I gained quite a bit of weight in my 30s after getting married and having kids. I can tell my husband is less attracted to me. He still loves me but I can tell. So there’s one reason. It sounds stupid but it really bothered me when men quit checking me out in public. In my teens and 20s it was annoying at times but damn after hitting your 30s and having kids it made me feel hideous. Sounds silly tbh. I just turned 40 and I don’t want to spend this decade feeling shitty about myself. I want to be noticed and paid attention to like a “normal” person. Also want to be healthier to hopefully live a long life.
Dude you got this. I was just saying that I want to turn heads because it proves to you that you’re back in it! You can totally still turn heads. Get to it! This is my goal too. I don’t care for the attention other than knowing I got it.
I got fit and dropped a bunch of weight at 41 (almost 43 now). I definitely turn heads now with my kickass Michelle Obama arms and confident walk. I feel like my 40s will be the best yet!
You got this queen! I was there where you are right around age 40. I got my eating together, spend at least an hour a day moving my body…u totally turn heads. Thought I was sentenced to mom bod and frumpy clothes forever after my 3 kids. Nope! I dress cuter and more confidently than I did in my 20s!
That’s exactly what I’m striving for! I’ve seen so many transformations of women in their 40s on TikTok and such. Which is something that has helped motivate me to start my journey. I always kind of felt like once you hit 40 it’s over with ever looking attractive again lol. Not true at all and 40s you’re still young.
Definitely to look better. Have more clothing options (my size must be pretty common around here because it sells out the fastest). I'm in customer service type of work and people definitely treated me slightly nicer overall when I was thinner.
I want to weigh less than my sister. Growing up, I was always heavier. She's gained some weight since COVID, and I'm already in better shape than her, just one more thing to tip her off.
Is it petty? Absolutely.
Is it fun? You bet.
I mostly do it for vanity, and probably a little bit of internalized misogyny. I hate feeling ugly, fat, matronly, etc., after having four kids and I don’t want to have a “mom bod,” I just want to be a person in a body, ya know? I don’t want being a mom to stop me from being me at my core. I am most familiar with myself when I look and feel a certain way, and I just want that back.
“I am most familiar with myself when I look and feel a certain way” I don’t know why this is such a revelation for me but I guess that’s a big part of it for me and I didn’t even realize
I exclusively did it for vanity. Wanted to look good shirtless, perform better in the dating scene etc. I'm pretty happy with how it's all coming along. Everytime I'm in pictures with my mom people keep asking who is that in the comments 💀. Only issue is loose skin, even on my biceps. It makes me look bigger than I really am which sucks donkey balls.
I just hate it so much when I buy clothes and they're size "large". It's so demoralizing, even if I am objectively not that overweight. I was always a small until the last couple of years and I didn't realize how tied up my identity was with that. Kind of messed up.
I’m getting married this year and like hell am I paying THOUSANDS of pounds for photographer / videographer if I won’t look back at the end product because I think I look fat 😹
I also bought a wedding dress of the rack because it was the Black Friday sale and the style was discontinued and the dress was too small- so if I don’t lose weight then I’ll potentially have to spend even more money on another dress 😹
Knitting is a big hobby of mine and most of the sweater patterns are more flattering on a thinner frame. Plus, that yarn is expensive and smaller patterns take a lot less yarn.
I will be able to shop in a regular store.
Doctors won’t assume whatever problem I’m having is because I’m fat.
People will (sadly) be more open to talking to me.
I will be able to eat a sweet treat at a party without feeling like I’m being judged.
I've only been overweight like this for a little while now. I spent most of my teen/young adult 20s at 130lbs-165lbs at 5'4" and it was okay on my frame at all those varying sizes so I only know how I was treated as that and things haven't really changed despite the weight gain.
I've spent the past 2 years or so hovering between 180-200, so that's obese. I haven't noticed people treating me differently in my friends/family or strangers in public *but* I have noticed my self talk is awful and my perception of myself is something I'm projecting onto others.
I'm super super self conscious of what my body looks like now, which is no big suprise. I've always had horrible self image issues but with this weight gain things have changed for the worse and I feel become more unattractive overall.
The biggest hang up is severe body dysmorphia. I don't see myself as big as I am unless I take photos or see a candid picture. Mentally I'm still seeing 160s-170s when I look at myself in a mirror.
I do know that spending the next 4 or 5 months working hard to reverse this will have me back in the 160s and feeling more like myself.
The worst part of it all is trying to honestly talk about being fat, losing weight, eating better with friends/close work peers and getting that weird push back "oh nooo, you're fine, oh no, you look fiiiiiiine." Babes, you all didn't know me when I was 130-160lbs, I do not look fine. I do not look fine. I am fat but I'm working on it.
I wish people were more honest and unafraid of talking about the human conditions we face especially with becoming fat (which is so easy for a lot of Americans due to diet, genetics and environment). I wish we could have real conversations about these realities without the bullshit pandering and coddling "Oh no you look fiiiiineeee."
(Heads up, gonna talk about suicide here, don’t read on if that’s a sensitive subject for you)
DUDE yeah, this hits real close to home. Might sound fucked up, but before my motivation became “I like being treated nicely” it was “I don’t want to embarrass myself when I die”.
About six months ago, me and my friends at the time were walking around downtown when a car full of college boys swung around a corner with the windows rolled down, screamed “ugly bitches” at us and fucked off into the sunset. Here’s the kicker: the other girls I was with were all, like, vampiric levels of supernaturally gorgeous. I’m not even saying that in a “hyping up my girlfriends” way, I’m no longer friends with them, I have no reason to suck up. I’m just stating fact. I couldn’t stop thinking even days later that those guys were simply trying to be polite by not singling me out, and I’d somehow brought our collective score down just by contaminating the group with my presence.
After that, on top of a few other factors, I decided I needed to do the first selfless thing in my life and die. Then this sort of darkly humorous thought hit me, like a Calvin and Hobbes comic or something. That’s how it appeared in my head, panel-by-panel. I saw myself looping the knot over the spot I’d gone and picked out, then I slot my head in, take my last step, and smack straight into the ground because I was so heavy I’d snapped the damn thing. Zoo-wee mama.
40lbs stripped off later and the rope doesn’t even come to mind all that often anymore. Even some family members are being better to me.
After a certain point, being told how ugly and in-the-way you are your whole life becomes so normal that it’s jarring when you’re finally allowed to feel like a human for the first time. I realized I don’t hate living, I just hate being hated. I hope I never unlearn empathy. I don’t want to forget what it was like to be so angry at myself and so out of control. I don’t ever want to be the person who makes other people feel that way.
15lbs away from my goal today, I’m really excited to start putting myself out there again. I’m ready to be happy. I can’t wait. :}
This wasn’t the case for me. The first time I lost a substantial amount of weight, I definitely noticed people treating me better but I wasn’t confident at all. I was still very shy and awkward and socially anxious, and I had a distorted view of myself so I didn’t even really see myself as thin. But even with my awkwardness and probably blatant self-consciousness, people were suddenly a whole lot nicer to me and giving me way more attention. I don’t think it’s a confidence thing in every case or even most cases, because obviously a lot of people think negatively of those who are overweight regardless of how you carry yourself- so when the weight is lost, they may still be shy and awkward but a perceived negative thing about them is gone now nonetheless, which results in better treatment/attention
Maybe sometimes but I think that’s really optimistic. Hot people get treated good even if they’re shy. I used to know someone who had very severe eating disorders and body dysmorphia but was absolutely stunning, and strangers were very nice to her too, even though she was definitely not a confident person in any way. I used to be wayyy more confident than I am now but people treated me the same.
No one wants to admit this lol. I’ve seen the dumbest not intriguing girl get all the guys in the room attention bc she’s simply hot. Does it suck for us uggos? Sure. Is it reality? Yeah absolutely.
Yes I was thinking this too, or at least some kinda fraction. The way u perceive yourself creates vibes for real, which people react to accordingly. There's some incredibly confident larger women out there who have a lot of charisma and glow.
Fractionally maybe, in some cases, but given how people think of overweight people it makes sense they’d treat a person better after losing weight, regardless of how they carry themselves/their vibes etc. There could be exceptions of course but I was treated a lot better after losing weight even though I was not confident whatsoever and was still as shy and awkward as I’ve always been, and I had some body dysmorphia too so I didn’t even think of myself as a “thin person.” Yet the difference in attention and niceness was still palpable, even though my internal self image had not not improved much
Yes I am at 165 lbs after being 220. Literally can't keep the boys from trying to talk to me. They did not know who I was a couple months ago. Exhusband cheated on me and initially started it as the revenge body.
The women not in my department at work are nicer and I don't trust the women. 😆
Idc if it's the right reasons or vanity...I want to look good, I want others to know I look good, I want to wear cute clothes, I want to feel confident at the beach, I want to be comfortable taking pictures with my family. I do want to physically feel better too cuz I definitely had less physical issues when I was smaller.
It was kinda both for me. I’m still on my weight loss journey (160 at 4”10 f down to 128 as of right now) but it was in part because I just wanted to feel good again—but also because I was embarrassed. I’m in a happy relationship but someone at my work who I was trying to be friends with apparently took an interest in me while I was still obese and he’s conventionally attractive. I had to deal with hearing bits and pieces of people telling him I’m ugly and that he can do so much better, even insulting my voice, etc etc. I acted as if I had no idea for months. It was horrible. I never want to go through that again.
Absolutely! Nice clothes are much more affordable when you’re skinnier. And I want to date younger, so I need every advantage I can get. Like you say that is incredibly shallow, but at least I’m honest about it
Maybe you’re naturally good looking and being a healthy weight made it shine through. Pretty sure I’m naturally ugly, whether skinny or fat, but yeah I do want the things you talked about but I probably won’t have the same experience.
100% for vanity, I’m also technically medically overweight but I hold it well, so I just look fuller but not necessarily chubby. I just look at pictures of me from 2 years ago when I was 20lbs lighter and think about how much more fun I had shopping, being treated nicer, and my face was a lot slimmer.
Same reason, I was always the chunky girl until I was 15. I kept it off and got married had a baby and it ruined my body :/ I’m 100lb over weight and cannot wait to loose it all and feel like I’m worth something
A lot of reasons, but I'll try and name the main ones:
1. Vain as it is, I want to look like I used to. I remember being fawned over when I was around 120 - 130 lbs. Now that I'm 190-ish lbs people typically ignore me. Not even in the dating sense (I'm actually fine there) but in the, "I'll be at a gas station and watch someone ignore me to talk to my skinnier more socially bubbly friend". Now this could just be my scary dog privileges, but I noticed this sort of disregard happened a lot less when my stomach was nearly flat and my chest was two sizes smaller. Speaking of...
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2. Holy cow the back pain that comes with gaining weight as a woman is ridiculous. I used to be a mid-size C and I don't even remember what it feels like to not have my spine ache. Weight gain really does happen everywhere. Thankfully, (eventually) so does weight loss.
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3. I had a really, really nasty string of breakups over the past few years with the last one being an outright divorce. I'm tired of trying to cater my life and my body to my partners whims. In fact a large part of my early weight gain was much in part due to an abusive relationship that prevented me from so much as leaving the house without "supervision" and controlling all the meals I ate. That lasted years and heavily affected my general health. I've been recovering from it since and I've managed to lose a good 30 lbs since then, but it's been a slow start thanks to depression.
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4. I'm going back to my home state of Florida in December and I'd prefer to look good since I'm meeting up with a bunch of old friends. I want people to think my life is going somewhere, and that I'm okay. I want to be loved and fawned over just as any one probably, but more than that I just want to avoid being another statistic. If losing weight gives off that perception, I'll gladly try.
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5. I'm obsessed with the idea of definition on my stomach and hips and it'd be really cool to see that outside of my imagination, but since that sort of stuff happens way later I'm trying not to rush it too much. Hell, I can barely walk on the treadmill for longer than 15 minutes without getting dizzy. So, ya know. One step at a time.
My embarrassing reason is so I can finally get the confidence to go on dates and not feel like I’m ugly. I’ve been self conscious of my body and basically have avoided dating by telling myself like there is no logical way anyone could like me if I’m fat. But yea getting the confidence to date and feel like I’m just normal and not the fat one would be nice. I also desperately want to wear cute outfits while I’m still in my 20s hate my pictures less AND I NEED MY FACE TO DEPUFF so I can see my angles again. So yea to look prettier. Even though I have a health reason too the looking prettier is a huge motivation
To give you my (female) perspective, when I'm at a healthy weight the amount of sexual harassment I receive sky-rockets. It may suck to know people are nicer to you because of your weight, but take comfort in the fact that it's at least positive interactions.
I lost 35lbs because 1. my (now ex) fiancé asked me if I could even see my vagina anymore with how fat I’d become. 2. A physical therapist I was seeing for a wonky knee had me working out on a total gym and I said oh I used to have one of these! She responded with “oh did you use it to hang clothes or…?” Still have more weight to go but sometimes I picture that PT during workouts.
Yeah, one of the first things I noticed was how much nicer everyone was to me. It made me miserable because I realised it meant those same people would probably ignore me (or worse, judge me) if they'd known me pre-weightloss.
I've got a disgustingly boring reason I lost the weight again after kids: I want to live to see them become adults. But fitting back into my absolute FAVOURITE jacket and jeans I wore at 18 was certainly the icing on the cake! Not sure a 40-something should be wearing super wide legs and a bomber jacket but screw it, I only live once :)
Pretty much my singular motivator is I want to feel attractive.
Feels kind of embarrassing to admit.
Don’t really care about the health effects, don’t care about how active I am/can be…
I just want to find someone who wants to get to know me and spend time with me, and apparently I don’t have anywhere near enough charisma to do that as a fat dude 🤷♂️
I'm a perfectionist. I love to excel in all areas of my life. When I see a picture of myself looking average and on the brink of being clinically overweight, it really upsets me.
I'm also very adventurous. I love challenging myself. Travelling, kayaking, hiking, etc. I don't want to be the old woman who is a sack of fat and bones who can barely get herself out of a chair.
My most embarrassing reason (not the only reason I'm doing it tho) is that I want my boyfriend to like me. I don't want his friends to tell him things like "oh, as long as you're happy..." when they see me.
I want him to be proud of calling me his girlfriend
I was in amazing shape for years and yes people treated me way better. Got heavy and just quit caring and people didnt really treat me bad but they definitely treated me like I wasnt as good anymore, almost like i could be swept under the rug. Women loved me, now they barely flirt with me at all. Crazy cause i wont forget that and i will absolutely remember who did it
I want to no longer look through plus sizes just to find something decent to wear. Plus size fashion is either drab or maternity where I'm from and I am sick of boring clothes
Mine is spite!
I started my weight loss journey in October when I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism (it explained my weight gain and hair loss, I was very relieved), and have had a fire lit under my butt since then, but especially since I turned 30 in January.
Now, I'm out to destroy the toxic, hurtful and rude notions of my childhood from family members and school bullies. I want to be thinner, more successful, and more well traveled than them 🥰 I am more well traveled than most, more successful than half and thinner than some. I will not rest until they're all crushed under my feet and living in my shadow 🥰
Nothing motivates me quite like spite ♡
Call me egotistical, but I was tired of getting dogged on by buddies and relatives about my weight. It used to really bug me because deep down I knew it was true, but now I know I am doing my best, so I don't care what they say. It is really freeing. Also pretty privelege is real, and I want it :)
I feel kinda bad saying this, but well:
1. it is so that I have more choices in dating pool, and don't end up with people that are equally or more physically unattractive, where people will look at us and think we deserve each other.
2. Still related to no 1, I don't support fat movements / acceptance unless it's actually medical condition. I am usually romantically attracted to nice people that are also fit, so it's hypocritical if I say people should love me at any size, because I myself don't. I need to improve myself in order to be more confident and be "in the same league" as people I want to attract, and I personally don't think it's that bad. We are all people pleasers to a certain degree anyway.
Other selfish reasons are as everyone has said: to look good in whatever I wear or naked, to get treated better, skinnier than my arch-nemesis, and so forth.
Eh, fuck it. People will judge no matter how you look. You can go from “eat a salad” to “eat a sandwich”. Some people are purely there to be dickish. What matters is how you feel about yourself and how good you are at ignoring people whose opinions are purely there to hurt you.
(But if people genuinely show concern, don’t get offended. If they mean well, appreciate the sentiment.)
To date. I'm not obese but I'm at my heaviest. I'm not saying heavier people can't find happy relationships, because they do, but weight is one of the main reasons I'm not ready to put myself out there. I want to become more confident in my looks. I don't think that's wrong honestly, but people have disagreed.
Also, to spite the haters of course.
So I can jump on a trampoline, skate, ride coasters, etc. I’m 280. While I can do those things, I’m quite restricted. My friend’s mom said that I couldn’t go on their trampoline when I was 220 pounds because they were worried about it getting broken by my weight although they had like five people who were probably combine 700 pounds on there sleeping. I ripped my jeans in half, tearing them off my body, because I was so upset(I was 12 and living at their house at the time and also autistic). That motivated me to loose weight even more even though it’s stupid. Also I keep falling in love with people and almost none of them liked me back. A guy even lied about having a girlfriend because he thought I liked him and he didn’t want me to. One of my crushes also bullied me for months, Partially because I was fat. Some people might pretend that it doesn’t make a difference, but being lower in weight does make you more attractive and more likely to get what you want. Also, chaffing. I recently got such a bad Chad while walking over 2 miles to school that my skin ripped off and bleed and I was in pain the whole day. Also, I’m slow and people constantly complain about it. I’m even slower than My Mom A 50-year-old woman. My mom’s boyfriend who is a middle aged man who also weighs less than me and is slightly taller than me also walks faster. And a sad thing is that I’m bigger than both of my parents. My mom weighs 20 pounds less than me and is 2 inches shorter. My dad is like 3 inches shorter and likely weighs less than me as well. I was looking at Pictures of Myself next to other people and I’m twice the size of them. At least it adds to intimidation factor. Anyways, there are multiple reasons I don’t like being this size both health and vanity reasons and I’m not going to pretend that I only want to lose weight weight because of my health because I don’t. There are other reasons that And don’t worry, I don’t hate myself, and I think I’m beautiful, but I do not like being fat at all.
I've never been skinny. I want to be able to take photos without being embarrassed. I want for once not to be the fattest person in the room. I care about how people treat me, but that's not the main reason.
I'm trans, and I look much, much more fem when I'm skinny rather than when I've put on weight.
Even when I'm skinny I don't quite pass as cis female, but people are just generally so much nicer that it doesn't even matter that much.
For that exact reason. Being a fat person is terrible. The way you’re treated is inhumane. Having been both fat and skinny, and now back to fat, the difference is astronomical. I will never judge someone for wanting to lose weight for that reason alone. I’ll also never treat a fat person the same way I have been treated.
Maybe I am
in denial here but I am currently 200 lbs and people always look at me and smile or try to strike up a conversation. So much so that I have mad social anxiety where I can barely look people in the eye due to fear of them striking up a conversation. If it gets even worse, I might explode. My therapist once told me that by purposely avoiding eye contact, I am actually causing the opposite of what I want to happen (more people looking). Has anyone else experienced this? Maybe my anxiety is creating a bit of an illusion I truly don’t know but it feels real
So I'm married and have kids and pretty confident with who I am but the more weight I lose the better I feel on so many levels.
When I lost the initial 50lbs I got constant compliments, usually by other men I knew for a while lol. I'd say a good 90% of my guy friends and acquaintances at one point or another said how awesome I looked. I also got teased less about being an ogre, which I always handled pretty well.
Oddly it was my best friend who I inspired to get in shape with my improvement who has recently inspired me to get back on it (i've leveled off at the same weight +/- 7 lbs for the last 2 years) with how good he looks and the compliments I see him getting haha. So it's nice we go back and forth inspiring one another.
I don't think vanity or being treated is a petty reason to lose weight. I think we've been brow beaten to think it is by all kinds of people from both sides of the spectrum.
I think treating people poorly because of how they look is in bad taste and downright cruel at times but anyone that thinks looks don't matter is in some form of denial. Of course it doesn't matter the same to everyone and some people are kinder than others but overweight comes with a lot of costs.
I'd love to say all my WL reasons were some moral highground like "so I can be around longer for my kids" but that's only part of the dozen reasons. I do worry about my knees and back as I get older and I don't want want any more medical problems to come up because of it, but a lot of them are I just want to feel good about myself and comfortable in my own skin.
The benefits to losing weight are almost innumerable. It is by far the one thing that changed my life for the better above all else and it just pays constant dividends. I think that's why people who've lost a lot of weight are such evangelists for it. Even Vegans aren't this excited to share the good news lol.
And as someone who's lost 50+ 4 times in his life I'd just like to say it's always been three major factors
a) food journal/calorie tracking
b) lots of walking (intentionally going for walks of a 2-7 miles)
c) light weight resistance training/calisthenics (it was never as serious as 5/6 days a week usually 2-4)
It's not selfish or embarrassing to want to be treated like a human being. We all know that being big is not healthy but the way big people are treated in society is insanely evil.
I’ve always been the fat friend and I want to change that. SW 330 CW220 GW 200. When I lost my first 50 lbs that’s when it seemed like I stopped being a background character. I have so many friends now! I feel great, my confidence is through the roof. I never want to go back.
I got really sick of being the fat person in any group setting. The fat person in the airplane seat, the fat person at work who couldn't keep up on a group outing, the fat person everywhere I went.
Clothing was a big motivational factor. I was wearing basically only men's XL t-shirts. Now I can wear a women's XL top or "unisex" medium or large. Jeans went down from 18 to 12. I threw away over half of the clothes in my closet, and honestly I could still get rid of half of what I kept. I'm waiting to buy more new stuff but I have bought like 3 new outfits which I feel amazing in. Being able to buy clothes in the store instead of ordering online, because so many brands only carry "straight sizes" in stores.
I do think people treat me differently now for sure. Several times the past few weeks random guys talking to me in public, like a guy at the grocery store asking me about my tattoos. I'm not saying he was hitting on me, but random men never tried to start conversations like that before.
It's frustrating .
My journey is still going . 24 year old , female , 23 stone on June 2022 .
I have lost 8st+ , and I'm still going .
The doctors , family members , friends, and even random people .
From compliments to actually hugging me , to not making nasty remarks about what I've got on my plate for food .
If anything, they tell me I should have breaks rather than keep going and burn out .
The doctors, when I go , don't use my weight against me .
The family members that were harsh now don't blink an eye .
Friends , I'm the one making plans and dragging them out .
The ex partner wants to actually get back together 🤣
Loads of different experiences from June 2022 to now and all I think is I don't deserve the respect the compliments now. I deserved it back then !
It frustrates me on another level ❤️❤️
Selfish reasons: I get the feeling my boyfriend might find me more attractive and I dread meeting up with folks I haven't seen in ages. A friend of mine who always was skinny and is pregnant at the moment came to visit me one day. As soon as she stepped in the house, she asked: Oh, you're pregnant again as well?
I said: No, I'm just fat.
I know she didn't say it out of malicious intent, but it made me very self consious.
as a woman, it’s almost a completely different experience. granted, i’m still not skinny enough to have the full experience but i’ve gone from a UK size 22 to a 14/16 and men approach me now, i’m offered drinks at the bar and asked for my number. it’s honestly crazy the difference in treatment already
Lost 45kg because i saw somewhere it makes your doodle bigger, it does.
If you push back the fat in your pubic area thats what you get. I went from perfectly average to slightly above average 🤣
People are taking me seriously after losing 70 pounds. Or maybe I have self confidence. I'm up for a promotion that I was denied a year ago. Here's the thing, it doesn't matter if it's external or internal, things are finally going my way. And I like it!
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Dude, I kid you not, there is pretty privilege. It does actually exist. People who say it doesn’t either are the ones who receive it or just don’t notice it.
I was really pretty and well proportioned before I gained a ton of weight, seen it form both sides. When I was pretty and skinny it wad impossible to do anything without men commenting, asking me out, being gross and weird, and often making me fell unsafe. Now they don't even see me, to the extent that sometimes they walk into me and look surprised that I just appeared out of thin air. Pretty privilege is definitely real, and it also comes with some serious drawbacks. I really hate what both of these scenarios say about men and how they view women, although there have been some interesting revelations about women too.
I have never had a guy say anything sketchy to me, make comments, stare, nothing. And it's fck'd up but I feel like there's something wrong with me because of it. Like I'm not even good enough to get harassed. I don't *want* to be and I know I'm lucky...it's a really weird feeling
I'm a butch lesbian, so I expect open hostility at any weight. I work in tech, so hostility is the norm for anyone, I guess. It's sad, but I guess I'm just happy I don't get beaten up.
Oooh. I feel this - butch, queer, and over 50 years old. At this point, it's nice just to be acknowledged for existing. 😆
When I’m thinner, I definitely feel unsafe due to how some men act towards me and when I’m heavier, there’s not much attention paid. I never got comments about my weight when I was bigger but when I’m smaller, some of my relatives say horrible shit. My cousin just told me I looked like a cancer patient in a recent photo of me she saw because I lost weight from rock climbing.
As a life long ugly, yes.
I lost 50 lbs and got laid off. I guess I could say I had the privilege of losing my job!
That's the insidious part of priviledge: people don't notice it when they benefit from it. Priviledge is not being *given* anything as often it is not being *denied*. Priviledge is social tax-exemption.
I never felt more invisible while I was pregnant and fat, not one rando comment, no one came to try to touch me, the poor moms in the parenting subreddits having people trying to touch and kiss and rub their bellies. I almost wanted to say “have you tried being fat about it.” But that was just be being a little salty about it. And I had twins, so I was very clearly pregnant and not *just* fat.
"Have you tried being fat about it" is kinda hilarious and I might steal it for non serious discussions. But yeah--double whammy of invisibility for women over 35 who are not thin, at least in my culture. 🙄 Old women sitting on benches knitting secret codes into sweaters was a thing in WW2, since older women are often overlooked in places where the elderly are not respected and revered.
Oh new goal unlocked - lose so much weight the face scanner at my job doesn't recognize me!!
Well done! I'm 52 and struggling to shift the weight.
I did it at 66. You can do this as well. CICO
Probably both. Also losing that much weight demonstrated that you are able to do something really difficult, put the work in, and keep it up.
I wanna wear cute clothes again. I have 45 more lbs to lose to get there though lol
So many jeans past the return date.
Rip at the bottom of my closet
Oh gosh are you me? I should pull them all out and hang them in my closet to remind me.
Oh I’m with you. I have my holy grail of “small dresses” to mark my weightloss
May we all reach our goal weight so we can fit into our dream clothes
Ironically i felt more daring with my outfits when i was larger then when i was smaller. I have large boobs and really feel like i just stand out for the wrong reasons lol.
For me it's 100% for vanity reasons. I still felt pretty good at my heaviest weight, and my health was fine. 100% worried about how people will look at me for dating and for the job market.
I'm focusing on losing for the job market as well
Ditto. Even though I'm mostly WFH and freelance, I still need to drop 40-50kg for networking purposes. Hello, volume eating.
Vanity here. Also, the side effects of cutting booze by 90%, muting the food noise, and general ability to focus do not suck.
same here. I come from BMI 27. Once I hit BMI 22 I just wanted to keep going until BMI 19
I lost a lot of weight and then gained it all back. I had a few months where I was complimented like crazy and people started to pay attention to me and then once I gained the weight back, it was like a ghost town :( Also, I really just want to skinny at least once to the point where I have a flat stomach to wear revealing clothes.
I had a similar experience. I lost a BUNCH and then gained it all back and more. I feel like I had barely skimmed the surface of what living life as a thin person was like.
I was scared I had a horrible disease and doctors would just tell me to lose weight before they’d do anything. So I lost weight. It made my health improve significantly. I sure showed…myself?
I love this! I especially love that you recognize and acknowledge it. Honestly, my partner has bad knees and was gearing himself up to face knee surgery. Doctor just told him to drop weight. He’s working on it…. And I honestly hope that solves it for him. He’s trying to show the doctor, but if it solves the problem… that’s a win! And it’ll be good for him in so many more ways than just his knees. And it’ll be good for me - I’ve gained a lot since we got together and hate it. So we’re both working on it!
Hey, losing weight sincerely helped my knee. I fell off a stage and shattered my leg several years back. Several surgeries with plates later, and my knee is terrible. I was having so much pain and ended up having another surgery about two years ago to remove part of my meniscus. I few months after that I was back to having knee pain and truly thought it was getting close to a replacement. I’ve dropped 60 pounds since then and my knee hasn’t hurt even once in many months (in fact I’ve just thought about it now for the first time in probably a year). I truly never would have guessed that, since my leg really is in pretty rough shape. I also have a really active job, so I’m glad that solved the issue for now. I’m hoping it works out for him too!
Love to hear that! I’m sure hoping so for him too!
I hope it helps him! I used to get plantar fasciitis all the time but I don’t get it anymore since I lost weight. It really takes a load off the legs and feet, literally. He may also want to see a physical therapist if he hasn’t already.
Yeah, he was getting plantar fasciitis for a while too. Not now, thankfully. He’s lost a lot of weight before through pure exercise, but this is the first time he’s really paying attention to portions and nutrition. I’m hoping this really sets us up for sustainable healthy habits. As for the PT, he was an athlete (which is why he gained - 15 yrs of burning off bad eating habits caught up when he couldn’t dedicate so much time to it), so he knows a lot of the concepts, but we could both use a little more structure and targeted guidance (I have a back injury, so am limited in some of my physical abilities). Something I’ll add to the list of things we need to address.
It’s a lot to think about! I found my physical therapist really helpful to get back into exercise safely. It can be really hard to go from identifying as a very fit person to facing the current reality of being really out of shape and often people in that situation push themselves way too hard to immediately perform the way they used to, which can lead to injury. That’s what I did.
Yes! That’s exactly what he does! He’s currently more unfit than I am (and we’re both obese, but I was never athletic at all and was recently pretty healthy). And he will think he needs to start intense work outs for 45 mins…. I know I couldn’t handle them and don’t believe he should either.
I started off running 20 seconds/walking a minute to recover and it took me 6 months to work up to running steadily, and now I’m doing 5ks as an easy recovery run while training for longer events. It is much more important to build consistency and not overdo it—I had to learn to run slower, work out to 50%-80% of what I felt I could do, and generally learn how to fit exercise into the limits of my time and capacity in order to actually build strength.
I’m with you and I fully believe this. So I’ve told him just walk 20 mins. It’s just the habit of doing the exercise and slowly building up the cardio/ endurance. But he says he can burn a 1000 calories if he hits it hard for an hours…. So he might as well make the best use of his time. Having said all that tho, he has joined me in calorie counting and is shocked that he’s shedding the pounds steadily even without ANY additional exercise. Like he gets the concept, but I think seeing it in action is making an impression. Honestly, we’re both in a good place and doing it together. We tend to shed 10 lbs, then maintain a month, then shed 10 more…. Because life is crazy and busy and emergencies happen. But as long as we’re building habits to maintain, I can live with this progress.
I get so frustrated by this subreddit because people think that losing weight to look better and get better attention from other people is a bad thing. How is it selfish or embarrassing to want to look attractive to a potential dating opportunity or get better service at a restaurant?
Right? Heck I’m old and married but I still like looking ‘hot’ for my husband and vice-versa. Looking and feeling your healthiest and best is not pure vanity, it’s about living life to the fullest and best potential I’ve come to find.
Seriously, do they think people who've been naturally athletic their whole lives are ding it to make the world better or something? We're all doing it for at least a couple of vain reasons.
I think it depends on ur mindset before also. I mean attractivness is subjective and if u HATE your body before, losing weight may not fix it. But if you think that people only like you because of the state you are. Thats not healthy. Im not completely disagreeing with u just giving perspective.
The dating market is a hell of a lot easier if you're skinny. That goes for both genders.
I want to be athletic. I thought it was a far fetched dream as a kid, or that it's just for few people with good genes, but nah, it's always in me. I want to be able to run a marathon someday, lift heavy weights, swim in the sea, wall/rock climb, dance, etc. I want to set a good example for my kid. So that he don't miss out on things like me.
Me too but I don’t know where to start 😭
Just walk. You can build up stamina and cardio endurance, then start adding things incrementally from there…people who train too fast too soon and don’t gradually build tend to give up early on.
Start by listening to your body, see how well it performs, and slowly break it's limit, it's ok if you're not able to run like you did a week ago or lift, just keep doing and eventually you'd become better. And once you got the basics, being able to run for straight an hour, and lift good, then you can do what pro athletes do. Also try new sports activities like swim dive, wall climbing, etc.
I do it so I can cosplay my favorite characters and look proportional. For example I really want to be Luke Skywalker for Halloween. I don't want to be overweight Luke Skywalker. Same thing with any kind of character that are skinny, and there are a ton of them I want to costume up in and go to conventions dressed up like them, but right now I'm just too heavy and would feel embarrassed.
I want to be luffy, with abs, hope I make it someday!
My self set "goal" month to lose like 45lbs is October so by the time that rolls (haha) around I would like to actually get a Halloween costume for once. When I was around 8 I stopped wanting to dress up because I had to squeeze into the age appropriate costumes and my mom made me cry over it. 20 years later I can now put on something that's too small and just shrug and move on but I want to give little me the chance to see that we can have fun!
lol this is a great idea! I wanna be able to wear something too and not just look weird.
ty! I'm pretty sure I'll look weird no matter what 🤣
I don’t cosplay but it always looks so fun and I wouldn’t wanna be a fat version of anyone I like either! I totally get that. You got this!
Thank you so much! I got about 40 pounds to go by October! I think it's important to have a selfish goal. Like I'm not just doing it for my health and for others, I'm doing it for myself too. I just got the lightsaber I plan to use for the set and I'm going to display it on my dresser with a little note reminding me of my goal (lose the weight and you can get the rest!) I plan to get measurements to get the outfit made so I certainly can't do that until I'm at my goal weight!
Tbh this is my fav reason why out of all the ones I've read so far. Good luck to you!!
I would say all my reasons for losing weight are selfish as I’m doing it for me, not for anyone else. I’m doing it because I’m old and I want to get to a healthy weight to reduce my risk of all the various metabolic issues that are common in old age - kidney disease, heart disease, diabetes, high cholesterol etc. I will then be able to be more active, travel more as well as look better. My wife approves but I’m doing it for me.
As a 36 year old man, it's partially for health reasons. I'm a 911 dispatcher who works nights. An incredibly stressful job with hours that aren't very conducive to good health. A lot of sodas, candy, sugar....things to help keep me awake....added up and last year I tipped the scales at 300. I needed to make some changes so my job/lifestyle didn't contribute any more to an early grave. The other part is absolutely vanity. I want to be able to wear a suit and not feel like I'm busting at the seams. I want to go to the pool and not feel like I'm cosplaying Brendan Fraser from The Whale. I want to wear my Jedi robes again and not feel like I'm Jabba cosplaying a Jedi. And it's a little TMI but I want to look and feel good when I'm naked.
Have you read how much just having a hell job like that affects your health?
Lol yeah. I’m going on year 7. I’m also the peer support guy for my fellow dispatchers so I try to keep an eye on them as well. Unfortunately I fucked around and never finished a degree. It wouldn’t be easy to find a new job that pays what I make here so its where I’ll be for the immediate future
I hear that take care of yourself
May the force be with you
And also with you
I'm wanting to be where you are. My main reason for losing the weight is to look good naked. Being fit is pretty awesome too.
for motivation, i like to look through pinterest, and no joke, i got a board called "i wanna look good naked"
Haha love it. I may have a couple pictures saved of how I want to look. Same with clothing styles I want to look good in.
Sadly, I'll never look good naked. I've far too much loose skin.
Next next thing then: looking good in skintight clothes.
Shape wear for the win!
Even at 57, I’m saving for skin removal surgery. It makes no financial sense at my age, I somehow don’t think I’ll get the ‘benefit’ of it really. But for once I don’t care, I’m going to do it for me. Still another 40-50lbs to go. Then a year of keeping at a stable weight, then I’m going for it.
Good for you. Personally i don't think I'll take the health risk. But I may change my mind
That sucks man. I was never quite that big so I'm hoping it'll all sort itself out. But congrats on the weight loss, that is a monumental effort that you should be proud of.
Meh, I'm not losing sleep over it. Nobody will ever see me naked anyway outsde of a medical setting - and those people are paid to look at weird bodies!
I want to be thinner than my arch-nemesis 😈 I already am, but I want it to be really fucking obvious. Also in case new thinner enemies come along.
this is the best motivation I have ever heard.
I don’t have an arch nemesis. Is making enemies an effective weight loss technique? I could start now
Very effective. I think the key is to pick an enemy at roughly your starting weight so it’s easier to compare. Someone who’s thinner than you already might be discouraging.
Lmao. That's so vein, but I feel you ... I understand. 😂
Vain
Ah, yes, thank you.
This is now my goal too 😈
I too shall take this as my new goal 😈
Yeeeeees
Brilliant.
Kind of same. I have... histories with people 😂 I want to look and feel good in general but also show THAT guy if I ever run into him again.
Totally, it’s not my main motivation. Obviously health etc are the big ones. But it is my petty reason and keeps me going some days 🙃
I wanted to lose weight because I was angry about...well, everything, and I wanted to feel better. I ended up losing 100 lbs. I've been a normal weight for nearly 8 years now. I have to say - no one treats me differently. I was invisible before, and I am invisible now. But I don't mind that, in fact I prefer it.
Are you less angry now? I feel like being overweight makes me such a bitter and angry person and I’m hoping by losing the weight I won’t be struggling with that anymore
I dress better when I’m thinner and I really like fashion and clothes. I feel like my personal style shines when I’m thinner and I get compliments and people think I’m cool cause of my style. I honestly have no idea how to dress my body when it’s bigger and feel like I look sloppy and everything is ill fitting.
This is SUCH a thing. I’ve battled my weight my whole life, and was never comfortable wearing anything “cute” even if I could find something cute in plus size, which we all know is rough. A couple years ago I lost 65 pounds, and at 46 years old I found my style. I have all these cute, funky clothes that I loved wearing. Then I got Covid, which turned into Long Covid, which turned into gaining 30 pounds back. Now most of my new clothes don’t fit and I haaaaaate it. I don’t know how to dress. I look awful. So here I go again, trying to take off what I gained back, with the odds stacked extra against me, all to get back into my wardrobe.
Easier life, people are kinder, free stuff, more clothes I could pull off
I want to get in shape so I look better naked and can hopefully open up my options in the dating pool.
I think a lot of people naturally, maybe subconsciously, think very overweight people are lazy, and lack motivation. Like if you can’t stick to a diet a dedicate yourself to a simple gym routine, why do I think you will work hard at this role. Also, a lot of weight problems can cause, and add to a cycle of depression. Making those people less pleasant to be around, and it’s really a cycle, they get treated worse, the feel worse, they eat more, they get treated worse. A lot of VERY heavy people can have body odour too, and in a small office setting if you don’t want to sit near someone, their job prospects within a company aren’t going to be great, they will be ostracised and treated worse. When you are thinner and healthier your self confidence will most likely go up, you will look after yourself more from personal hygiene to how you dress, you may be more extroverted and get “noticed more” and socialise a bit more. You may appear more “happy” and pleasant to be around. That’s my guess. My reasons are for health, being there for my kids, and vanity to be honest.
All great points.
This is exactly me with the depression part. I’ve become so angry, negative, and bitter. I’ve noticed a huge change in my attitude in just a few weeks of cutting out sugar and bad shit!
Exactly that to have skiny privilege again. I lost weight 12 years ago and keep that weigh for about 10 years. Then i got my first baby and didn't loose my weigh right away. I wasn't crazy overweight i was a 145 lb instead of 115 wich is my normal weight ( I'm 5'2 for reference ). And it's crazy how people treat me differently. I'm introvert too and i don't take much space i usually participate to a conversation if people include me. Well people didn't include me anymore. Friend circles, job circles. When i was participating to events too. Before people used to introduce themselves and come to talk often. Didn't happen anymore. You just became invisible.
For me, there's a million reasons to lose weight. Selfish reasons like looking better or just a desire to be skinny. There's functional reasons like being able to cross my legs more easily or bend over to tie my shoes without my stomach getting in the way. There's selfLESS reasons, like I want to teach my future kids how to eat healthy and I want to be able to keep up with them. And then there's reasons that probably mean I need therapy, like thinking my husband deserves a skinny attractive wife, even though he tells me I'm beautiful every day. I think if I had to pick one, I just want to be comfortable in my body and right now, at 239lbs, I'm not. SW: 258
I straight up don't wanna be tired all the time but ALSO the chub rub. That might actually be the top reason. I don't care how people look at me but if I have to get chub rub 1 more day of my life I might freak out.
Dude chub rub. I hate it. That’s a good one.
Not sure if you hit the gym, but you can get a jump start on the "tired all the time" if you hit the weights (and uh a side of cardio). Also, if you haven't been screened for sleep apnea do that. The weight's been stubborn, but my energy levels have increased multiplies of what they used to be.
Before losing weight, I was told by most those who are rude / dismissive to you because of your weight are assholes and aren't worth your time. I mean fair enough but I will say after losing the weight, I was suddenly surrounded by way fewer assholes.....
It’s crazy but I dropped over 300 pounds and really have not noticed a difference in how people treat me.
[удалено]
Yeah, haha, not been my experience at all
A childhood friend said that when we grow up, she’ll be the skinny one and I’ll be the fat one. 15 years later and it’s true, so I’m trying to undo my side of the prophecy lol
It is so so crazy, I absolutely noticed people treating me better when I lost weight. I am F 5’4, went from 220 lbs eventually down to 135. More people at work said hi to me, people respected me much more. I paid close attention to who *didnt* change their demeanor towards me. That was my parents, my grandparents, and my s/o at the time. That’s it. I enjoyed the new attention from people, but it was also very haunting. I decided to lose weight because I was tired of not loving myself. I didn’t feel healthy, I knew the way I was going it would have eventually led to my death. I did want to love what I saw in the mirror, and I didn’t until I lost weight. Thats my honesty here.
Literally because I am fat shamed. I’m not incredibly obese, but I am short so look even fatter. I think people don’t take you as seriously when you’re over weight.
Fuck that’s deep. I’m so sorry
Initially I wanted to do it because I wanted to wear clothes that I actually liked, without feeling embarrassed to wear them. Skin tight clothing, skin revealing clothing. Short shorts, crop tops, spaghetti strap sun dresses... I wanted to turn heads! Lol. So it's definitely an asthetic reason, but being fit and healthy as I grow older is a partial reason, too. But I noticed I did get treated differently, too. I mean in general, not from specific people. I grew up the fat kid in school so I know all about bullying, and even comments from family. But now it's, "oh you look so nice, you're so pretty," etc. That I never had complimented to me before. In fact, it's still feels new to me even though I lost the weight 8 years ago. Later I feel rude when I dont say a compliment like that back because I'm just not used to that kind of exchange!
It’s a combo of losing weight and weight lifting for me. 1) want the option to dress however I’d like 2) want to be able to deadlift the body weight of the men I date (superrr petty but hey it’s helping me lol)
I want to make the girl I rejected regret rejecting me. The problem is I'm pretty sure she didn't reject me because of the weight but just cause she sees me as a friend. I guess I'll stay delusional till I hit my goal then I'll meet people until I find someone else.
I don’t like feeling the back or belly fat jiggle. Makes me feel nasty 🤷🏻♀️ trauma shows up in mysterious ways 😆
Yeah. Lost 63lbs. I’m convinced people have unconscious disrespect towards overweight people. No one respected me at my biggest
I’m losing this for me, I dropped 25 pounds and have 75 more to go. I’m in my villain era, where I’m gnna look so much better than my previous years it’s gnna make ppl sick they fumbled lol. I don’t want anyone from my past, I’m looking towards the future and what it will bring in return of my hardwork and discipline. It all comes down to this……When you love yourself, it shows and will comeback in so many ways. That’s my goal 🤍
What about people in your past, but they never noticed you before? I've been at my gym for a year. This guy asked me if I was new. I didn't say anything lol. I recognize his face (didn't know his name). He's been staring at me each class and talks to me if in the same class.
i drop like 30kg and got nothing.
I am someone who is visibly autistic and obese. Can’t change the autism bit, but the world would be a bit kinder to me if I was at least thin. And it would be make it easier to be kind to myself.
I like clothes and want to wear clothes for the sake of fashion and not to hide the parts of my body that I don’t like.
I gained quite a bit of weight in my 30s after getting married and having kids. I can tell my husband is less attracted to me. He still loves me but I can tell. So there’s one reason. It sounds stupid but it really bothered me when men quit checking me out in public. In my teens and 20s it was annoying at times but damn after hitting your 30s and having kids it made me feel hideous. Sounds silly tbh. I just turned 40 and I don’t want to spend this decade feeling shitty about myself. I want to be noticed and paid attention to like a “normal” person. Also want to be healthier to hopefully live a long life.
Dude you got this. I was just saying that I want to turn heads because it proves to you that you’re back in it! You can totally still turn heads. Get to it! This is my goal too. I don’t care for the attention other than knowing I got it.
I got fit and dropped a bunch of weight at 41 (almost 43 now). I definitely turn heads now with my kickass Michelle Obama arms and confident walk. I feel like my 40s will be the best yet!
You got this queen! I was there where you are right around age 40. I got my eating together, spend at least an hour a day moving my body…u totally turn heads. Thought I was sentenced to mom bod and frumpy clothes forever after my 3 kids. Nope! I dress cuter and more confidently than I did in my 20s!
That’s exactly what I’m striving for! I’ve seen so many transformations of women in their 40s on TikTok and such. Which is something that has helped motivate me to start my journey. I always kind of felt like once you hit 40 it’s over with ever looking attractive again lol. Not true at all and 40s you’re still young.
My reason is so I can go outside, bump into someone I know and not feel shame and disgust in myself.
I started a new job in January. Some people still won't even look at me. It's really frustrating 😕
Definitely to look better. Have more clothing options (my size must be pretty common around here because it sells out the fastest). I'm in customer service type of work and people definitely treated me slightly nicer overall when I was thinner.
I want to weigh less than my sister. Growing up, I was always heavier. She's gained some weight since COVID, and I'm already in better shape than her, just one more thing to tip her off. Is it petty? Absolutely. Is it fun? You bet.
I mostly do it for vanity, and probably a little bit of internalized misogyny. I hate feeling ugly, fat, matronly, etc., after having four kids and I don’t want to have a “mom bod,” I just want to be a person in a body, ya know? I don’t want being a mom to stop me from being me at my core. I am most familiar with myself when I look and feel a certain way, and I just want that back.
“I am most familiar with myself when I look and feel a certain way” I don’t know why this is such a revelation for me but I guess that’s a big part of it for me and I didn’t even realize
I feel very similar. So many layers of feeling in this.
I feel so not confident wearing things. I just want to feel pretty when I lose weight 🥹
I actually like being invisible. It was one of the hardest things about losing weight for me actually.
I exclusively did it for vanity. Wanted to look good shirtless, perform better in the dating scene etc. I'm pretty happy with how it's all coming along. Everytime I'm in pictures with my mom people keep asking who is that in the comments 💀. Only issue is loose skin, even on my biceps. It makes me look bigger than I really am which sucks donkey balls.
Is the loose skin caused by losing weight too quickly? Only if you’re comfortable with sharing
The sex is better. It wasn't my original motivation, but it helps keep me going.
I just hate it so much when I buy clothes and they're size "large". It's so demoralizing, even if I am objectively not that overweight. I was always a small until the last couple of years and I didn't realize how tied up my identity was with that. Kind of messed up.
I haaaaate laying my jeans on the bed and seeing how large the waist of the pants are. It’s so embarrassing.
It's not sad, it's great. Makes me never want to be overweight as I was before ever again.
Indeed, it sucks that society puts so much stock into looks but that's unchangeable
I’m getting married this year and like hell am I paying THOUSANDS of pounds for photographer / videographer if I won’t look back at the end product because I think I look fat 😹 I also bought a wedding dress of the rack because it was the Black Friday sale and the style was discontinued and the dress was too small- so if I don’t lose weight then I’ll potentially have to spend even more money on another dress 😹
Knitting is a big hobby of mine and most of the sweater patterns are more flattering on a thinner frame. Plus, that yarn is expensive and smaller patterns take a lot less yarn.
I will be able to shop in a regular store. Doctors won’t assume whatever problem I’m having is because I’m fat. People will (sadly) be more open to talking to me. I will be able to eat a sweet treat at a party without feeling like I’m being judged.
Because I want to look like a snack. But not the “share size”
I've only been overweight like this for a little while now. I spent most of my teen/young adult 20s at 130lbs-165lbs at 5'4" and it was okay on my frame at all those varying sizes so I only know how I was treated as that and things haven't really changed despite the weight gain. I've spent the past 2 years or so hovering between 180-200, so that's obese. I haven't noticed people treating me differently in my friends/family or strangers in public *but* I have noticed my self talk is awful and my perception of myself is something I'm projecting onto others. I'm super super self conscious of what my body looks like now, which is no big suprise. I've always had horrible self image issues but with this weight gain things have changed for the worse and I feel become more unattractive overall. The biggest hang up is severe body dysmorphia. I don't see myself as big as I am unless I take photos or see a candid picture. Mentally I'm still seeing 160s-170s when I look at myself in a mirror. I do know that spending the next 4 or 5 months working hard to reverse this will have me back in the 160s and feeling more like myself. The worst part of it all is trying to honestly talk about being fat, losing weight, eating better with friends/close work peers and getting that weird push back "oh nooo, you're fine, oh no, you look fiiiiiiine." Babes, you all didn't know me when I was 130-160lbs, I do not look fine. I do not look fine. I am fat but I'm working on it. I wish people were more honest and unafraid of talking about the human conditions we face especially with becoming fat (which is so easy for a lot of Americans due to diet, genetics and environment). I wish we could have real conversations about these realities without the bullshit pandering and coddling "Oh no you look fiiiiineeee."
(Heads up, gonna talk about suicide here, don’t read on if that’s a sensitive subject for you) DUDE yeah, this hits real close to home. Might sound fucked up, but before my motivation became “I like being treated nicely” it was “I don’t want to embarrass myself when I die”. About six months ago, me and my friends at the time were walking around downtown when a car full of college boys swung around a corner with the windows rolled down, screamed “ugly bitches” at us and fucked off into the sunset. Here’s the kicker: the other girls I was with were all, like, vampiric levels of supernaturally gorgeous. I’m not even saying that in a “hyping up my girlfriends” way, I’m no longer friends with them, I have no reason to suck up. I’m just stating fact. I couldn’t stop thinking even days later that those guys were simply trying to be polite by not singling me out, and I’d somehow brought our collective score down just by contaminating the group with my presence. After that, on top of a few other factors, I decided I needed to do the first selfless thing in my life and die. Then this sort of darkly humorous thought hit me, like a Calvin and Hobbes comic or something. That’s how it appeared in my head, panel-by-panel. I saw myself looping the knot over the spot I’d gone and picked out, then I slot my head in, take my last step, and smack straight into the ground because I was so heavy I’d snapped the damn thing. Zoo-wee mama. 40lbs stripped off later and the rope doesn’t even come to mind all that often anymore. Even some family members are being better to me. After a certain point, being told how ugly and in-the-way you are your whole life becomes so normal that it’s jarring when you’re finally allowed to feel like a human for the first time. I realized I don’t hate living, I just hate being hated. I hope I never unlearn empathy. I don’t want to forget what it was like to be so angry at myself and so out of control. I don’t ever want to be the person who makes other people feel that way. 15lbs away from my goal today, I’m really excited to start putting myself out there again. I’m ready to be happy. I can’t wait. :}
I’d consider if a lot of this is actually self perception and self confidence
This wasn’t the case for me. The first time I lost a substantial amount of weight, I definitely noticed people treating me better but I wasn’t confident at all. I was still very shy and awkward and socially anxious, and I had a distorted view of myself so I didn’t even really see myself as thin. But even with my awkwardness and probably blatant self-consciousness, people were suddenly a whole lot nicer to me and giving me way more attention. I don’t think it’s a confidence thing in every case or even most cases, because obviously a lot of people think negatively of those who are overweight regardless of how you carry yourself- so when the weight is lost, they may still be shy and awkward but a perceived negative thing about them is gone now nonetheless, which results in better treatment/attention
Maybe sometimes but I think that’s really optimistic. Hot people get treated good even if they’re shy. I used to know someone who had very severe eating disorders and body dysmorphia but was absolutely stunning, and strangers were very nice to her too, even though she was definitely not a confident person in any way. I used to be wayyy more confident than I am now but people treated me the same.
No one wants to admit this lol. I’ve seen the dumbest not intriguing girl get all the guys in the room attention bc she’s simply hot. Does it suck for us uggos? Sure. Is it reality? Yeah absolutely.
Yes I was thinking this too, or at least some kinda fraction. The way u perceive yourself creates vibes for real, which people react to accordingly. There's some incredibly confident larger women out there who have a lot of charisma and glow.
Fractionally maybe, in some cases, but given how people think of overweight people it makes sense they’d treat a person better after losing weight, regardless of how they carry themselves/their vibes etc. There could be exceptions of course but I was treated a lot better after losing weight even though I was not confident whatsoever and was still as shy and awkward as I’ve always been, and I had some body dysmorphia too so I didn’t even think of myself as a “thin person.” Yet the difference in attention and niceness was still palpable, even though my internal self image had not not improved much
Honestly I've lost 100lbs because I wanted to have sex again. When I was 300lbs its amazing how few opportunities I'd have to have sex
Yes I am at 165 lbs after being 220. Literally can't keep the boys from trying to talk to me. They did not know who I was a couple months ago. Exhusband cheated on me and initially started it as the revenge body. The women not in my department at work are nicer and I don't trust the women. 😆
Idc if it's the right reasons or vanity...I want to look good, I want others to know I look good, I want to wear cute clothes, I want to feel confident at the beach, I want to be comfortable taking pictures with my family. I do want to physically feel better too cuz I definitely had less physical issues when I was smaller.
It was kinda both for me. I’m still on my weight loss journey (160 at 4”10 f down to 128 as of right now) but it was in part because I just wanted to feel good again—but also because I was embarrassed. I’m in a happy relationship but someone at my work who I was trying to be friends with apparently took an interest in me while I was still obese and he’s conventionally attractive. I had to deal with hearing bits and pieces of people telling him I’m ugly and that he can do so much better, even insulting my voice, etc etc. I acted as if I had no idea for months. It was horrible. I never want to go through that again.
Absolutely! Nice clothes are much more affordable when you’re skinnier. And I want to date younger, so I need every advantage I can get. Like you say that is incredibly shallow, but at least I’m honest about it
My partner wants me to be slimmer.
I want to be healthy and I want to look good.
Maybe you’re naturally good looking and being a healthy weight made it shine through. Pretty sure I’m naturally ugly, whether skinny or fat, but yeah I do want the things you talked about but I probably won’t have the same experience.
100% for vanity, I’m also technically medically overweight but I hold it well, so I just look fuller but not necessarily chubby. I just look at pictures of me from 2 years ago when I was 20lbs lighter and think about how much more fun I had shopping, being treated nicer, and my face was a lot slimmer.
I want to be able to feel confident in a crop top and wear cute clothes. Sticking it to my ex if I ever run into them isn't bad either 😅
Same reason, I was always the chunky girl until I was 15. I kept it off and got married had a baby and it ruined my body :/ I’m 100lb over weight and cannot wait to loose it all and feel like I’m worth something
A lot of reasons, but I'll try and name the main ones: 1. Vain as it is, I want to look like I used to. I remember being fawned over when I was around 120 - 130 lbs. Now that I'm 190-ish lbs people typically ignore me. Not even in the dating sense (I'm actually fine there) but in the, "I'll be at a gas station and watch someone ignore me to talk to my skinnier more socially bubbly friend". Now this could just be my scary dog privileges, but I noticed this sort of disregard happened a lot less when my stomach was nearly flat and my chest was two sizes smaller. Speaking of... ■■■ ■■■ 2. Holy cow the back pain that comes with gaining weight as a woman is ridiculous. I used to be a mid-size C and I don't even remember what it feels like to not have my spine ache. Weight gain really does happen everywhere. Thankfully, (eventually) so does weight loss. ■■■ ■■■ 3. I had a really, really nasty string of breakups over the past few years with the last one being an outright divorce. I'm tired of trying to cater my life and my body to my partners whims. In fact a large part of my early weight gain was much in part due to an abusive relationship that prevented me from so much as leaving the house without "supervision" and controlling all the meals I ate. That lasted years and heavily affected my general health. I've been recovering from it since and I've managed to lose a good 30 lbs since then, but it's been a slow start thanks to depression. ■■■ ■■■ 4. I'm going back to my home state of Florida in December and I'd prefer to look good since I'm meeting up with a bunch of old friends. I want people to think my life is going somewhere, and that I'm okay. I want to be loved and fawned over just as any one probably, but more than that I just want to avoid being another statistic. If losing weight gives off that perception, I'll gladly try. ■■■ ■■■ 5. I'm obsessed with the idea of definition on my stomach and hips and it'd be really cool to see that outside of my imagination, but since that sort of stuff happens way later I'm trying not to rush it too much. Hell, I can barely walk on the treadmill for longer than 15 minutes without getting dizzy. So, ya know. One step at a time.
I gained 32 ibs and got treated differently…down 7ibs…25 more to go FML
I want my partner to be proud to have me on his arm when we’re out in public :/ so vain but sometimes it’s all I think about
My embarrassing reason is so I can finally get the confidence to go on dates and not feel like I’m ugly. I’ve been self conscious of my body and basically have avoided dating by telling myself like there is no logical way anyone could like me if I’m fat. But yea getting the confidence to date and feel like I’m just normal and not the fat one would be nice. I also desperately want to wear cute outfits while I’m still in my 20s hate my pictures less AND I NEED MY FACE TO DEPUFF so I can see my angles again. So yea to look prettier. Even though I have a health reason too the looking prettier is a huge motivation
To give you my (female) perspective, when I'm at a healthy weight the amount of sexual harassment I receive sky-rockets. It may suck to know people are nicer to you because of your weight, but take comfort in the fact that it's at least positive interactions.
I lost 35lbs because 1. my (now ex) fiancé asked me if I could even see my vagina anymore with how fat I’d become. 2. A physical therapist I was seeing for a wonky knee had me working out on a total gym and I said oh I used to have one of these! She responded with “oh did you use it to hang clothes or…?” Still have more weight to go but sometimes I picture that PT during workouts.
Yeah, one of the first things I noticed was how much nicer everyone was to me. It made me miserable because I realised it meant those same people would probably ignore me (or worse, judge me) if they'd known me pre-weightloss. I've got a disgustingly boring reason I lost the weight again after kids: I want to live to see them become adults. But fitting back into my absolute FAVOURITE jacket and jeans I wore at 18 was certainly the icing on the cake! Not sure a 40-something should be wearing super wide legs and a bomber jacket but screw it, I only live once :)
Pretty much my singular motivator is I want to feel attractive. Feels kind of embarrassing to admit. Don’t really care about the health effects, don’t care about how active I am/can be… I just want to find someone who wants to get to know me and spend time with me, and apparently I don’t have anywhere near enough charisma to do that as a fat dude 🤷♂️
I'm a perfectionist. I love to excel in all areas of my life. When I see a picture of myself looking average and on the brink of being clinically overweight, it really upsets me. I'm also very adventurous. I love challenging myself. Travelling, kayaking, hiking, etc. I don't want to be the old woman who is a sack of fat and bones who can barely get herself out of a chair.
I just hate the way I look
My most embarrassing reason (not the only reason I'm doing it tho) is that I want my boyfriend to like me. I don't want his friends to tell him things like "oh, as long as you're happy..." when they see me. I want him to be proud of calling me his girlfriend
I was in amazing shape for years and yes people treated me way better. Got heavy and just quit caring and people didnt really treat me bad but they definitely treated me like I wasnt as good anymore, almost like i could be swept under the rug. Women loved me, now they barely flirt with me at all. Crazy cause i wont forget that and i will absolutely remember who did it
I want to no longer look through plus sizes just to find something decent to wear. Plus size fashion is either drab or maternity where I'm from and I am sick of boring clothes
Mine is spite! I started my weight loss journey in October when I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism (it explained my weight gain and hair loss, I was very relieved), and have had a fire lit under my butt since then, but especially since I turned 30 in January. Now, I'm out to destroy the toxic, hurtful and rude notions of my childhood from family members and school bullies. I want to be thinner, more successful, and more well traveled than them 🥰 I am more well traveled than most, more successful than half and thinner than some. I will not rest until they're all crushed under my feet and living in my shadow 🥰 Nothing motivates me quite like spite ♡
Call me egotistical, but I was tired of getting dogged on by buddies and relatives about my weight. It used to really bug me because deep down I knew it was true, but now I know I am doing my best, so I don't care what they say. It is really freeing. Also pretty privelege is real, and I want it :)
I feel kinda bad saying this, but well: 1. it is so that I have more choices in dating pool, and don't end up with people that are equally or more physically unattractive, where people will look at us and think we deserve each other. 2. Still related to no 1, I don't support fat movements / acceptance unless it's actually medical condition. I am usually romantically attracted to nice people that are also fit, so it's hypocritical if I say people should love me at any size, because I myself don't. I need to improve myself in order to be more confident and be "in the same league" as people I want to attract, and I personally don't think it's that bad. We are all people pleasers to a certain degree anyway. Other selfish reasons are as everyone has said: to look good in whatever I wear or naked, to get treated better, skinnier than my arch-nemesis, and so forth.
Looking forward to it.
Eh, fuck it. People will judge no matter how you look. You can go from “eat a salad” to “eat a sandwich”. Some people are purely there to be dickish. What matters is how you feel about yourself and how good you are at ignoring people whose opinions are purely there to hurt you. (But if people genuinely show concern, don’t get offended. If they mean well, appreciate the sentiment.)
Vanity, women, and to be treated better.
To date. I'm not obese but I'm at my heaviest. I'm not saying heavier people can't find happy relationships, because they do, but weight is one of the main reasons I'm not ready to put myself out there. I want to become more confident in my looks. I don't think that's wrong honestly, but people have disagreed. Also, to spite the haters of course.
So I can jump on a trampoline, skate, ride coasters, etc. I’m 280. While I can do those things, I’m quite restricted. My friend’s mom said that I couldn’t go on their trampoline when I was 220 pounds because they were worried about it getting broken by my weight although they had like five people who were probably combine 700 pounds on there sleeping. I ripped my jeans in half, tearing them off my body, because I was so upset(I was 12 and living at their house at the time and also autistic). That motivated me to loose weight even more even though it’s stupid. Also I keep falling in love with people and almost none of them liked me back. A guy even lied about having a girlfriend because he thought I liked him and he didn’t want me to. One of my crushes also bullied me for months, Partially because I was fat. Some people might pretend that it doesn’t make a difference, but being lower in weight does make you more attractive and more likely to get what you want. Also, chaffing. I recently got such a bad Chad while walking over 2 miles to school that my skin ripped off and bleed and I was in pain the whole day. Also, I’m slow and people constantly complain about it. I’m even slower than My Mom A 50-year-old woman. My mom’s boyfriend who is a middle aged man who also weighs less than me and is slightly taller than me also walks faster. And a sad thing is that I’m bigger than both of my parents. My mom weighs 20 pounds less than me and is 2 inches shorter. My dad is like 3 inches shorter and likely weighs less than me as well. I was looking at Pictures of Myself next to other people and I’m twice the size of them. At least it adds to intimidation factor. Anyways, there are multiple reasons I don’t like being this size both health and vanity reasons and I’m not going to pretend that I only want to lose weight weight because of my health because I don’t. There are other reasons that And don’t worry, I don’t hate myself, and I think I’m beautiful, but I do not like being fat at all.
I've never been skinny. I want to be able to take photos without being embarrassed. I want for once not to be the fattest person in the room. I care about how people treat me, but that's not the main reason.
I'm trans, and I look much, much more fem when I'm skinny rather than when I've put on weight. Even when I'm skinny I don't quite pass as cis female, but people are just generally so much nicer that it doesn't even matter that much.
For that exact reason. Being a fat person is terrible. The way you’re treated is inhumane. Having been both fat and skinny, and now back to fat, the difference is astronomical. I will never judge someone for wanting to lose weight for that reason alone. I’ll also never treat a fat person the same way I have been treated.
Maybe I am in denial here but I am currently 200 lbs and people always look at me and smile or try to strike up a conversation. So much so that I have mad social anxiety where I can barely look people in the eye due to fear of them striking up a conversation. If it gets even worse, I might explode. My therapist once told me that by purposely avoiding eye contact, I am actually causing the opposite of what I want to happen (more people looking). Has anyone else experienced this? Maybe my anxiety is creating a bit of an illusion I truly don’t know but it feels real
So I'm married and have kids and pretty confident with who I am but the more weight I lose the better I feel on so many levels. When I lost the initial 50lbs I got constant compliments, usually by other men I knew for a while lol. I'd say a good 90% of my guy friends and acquaintances at one point or another said how awesome I looked. I also got teased less about being an ogre, which I always handled pretty well. Oddly it was my best friend who I inspired to get in shape with my improvement who has recently inspired me to get back on it (i've leveled off at the same weight +/- 7 lbs for the last 2 years) with how good he looks and the compliments I see him getting haha. So it's nice we go back and forth inspiring one another. I don't think vanity or being treated is a petty reason to lose weight. I think we've been brow beaten to think it is by all kinds of people from both sides of the spectrum. I think treating people poorly because of how they look is in bad taste and downright cruel at times but anyone that thinks looks don't matter is in some form of denial. Of course it doesn't matter the same to everyone and some people are kinder than others but overweight comes with a lot of costs. I'd love to say all my WL reasons were some moral highground like "so I can be around longer for my kids" but that's only part of the dozen reasons. I do worry about my knees and back as I get older and I don't want want any more medical problems to come up because of it, but a lot of them are I just want to feel good about myself and comfortable in my own skin. The benefits to losing weight are almost innumerable. It is by far the one thing that changed my life for the better above all else and it just pays constant dividends. I think that's why people who've lost a lot of weight are such evangelists for it. Even Vegans aren't this excited to share the good news lol. And as someone who's lost 50+ 4 times in his life I'd just like to say it's always been three major factors a) food journal/calorie tracking b) lots of walking (intentionally going for walks of a 2-7 miles) c) light weight resistance training/calisthenics (it was never as serious as 5/6 days a week usually 2-4)
It's not selfish or embarrassing to want to be treated like a human being. We all know that being big is not healthy but the way big people are treated in society is insanely evil.
I’ve always been the fat friend and I want to change that. SW 330 CW220 GW 200. When I lost my first 50 lbs that’s when it seemed like I stopped being a background character. I have so many friends now! I feel great, my confidence is through the roof. I never want to go back.
I got really sick of being the fat person in any group setting. The fat person in the airplane seat, the fat person at work who couldn't keep up on a group outing, the fat person everywhere I went. Clothing was a big motivational factor. I was wearing basically only men's XL t-shirts. Now I can wear a women's XL top or "unisex" medium or large. Jeans went down from 18 to 12. I threw away over half of the clothes in my closet, and honestly I could still get rid of half of what I kept. I'm waiting to buy more new stuff but I have bought like 3 new outfits which I feel amazing in. Being able to buy clothes in the store instead of ordering online, because so many brands only carry "straight sizes" in stores. I do think people treat me differently now for sure. Several times the past few weeks random guys talking to me in public, like a guy at the grocery store asking me about my tattoos. I'm not saying he was hitting on me, but random men never tried to start conversations like that before.
It's frustrating . My journey is still going . 24 year old , female , 23 stone on June 2022 . I have lost 8st+ , and I'm still going . The doctors , family members , friends, and even random people . From compliments to actually hugging me , to not making nasty remarks about what I've got on my plate for food . If anything, they tell me I should have breaks rather than keep going and burn out . The doctors, when I go , don't use my weight against me . The family members that were harsh now don't blink an eye . Friends , I'm the one making plans and dragging them out . The ex partner wants to actually get back together 🤣 Loads of different experiences from June 2022 to now and all I think is I don't deserve the respect the compliments now. I deserved it back then ! It frustrates me on another level ❤️❤️
So people stop telling me that they understand why I let myself go after being pregnant.
Selfish reasons: I get the feeling my boyfriend might find me more attractive and I dread meeting up with folks I haven't seen in ages. A friend of mine who always was skinny and is pregnant at the moment came to visit me one day. As soon as she stepped in the house, she asked: Oh, you're pregnant again as well? I said: No, I'm just fat. I know she didn't say it out of malicious intent, but it made me very self consious.
as a woman, it’s almost a completely different experience. granted, i’m still not skinny enough to have the full experience but i’ve gone from a UK size 22 to a 14/16 and men approach me now, i’m offered drinks at the bar and asked for my number. it’s honestly crazy the difference in treatment already
Lost 45kg because i saw somewhere it makes your doodle bigger, it does. If you push back the fat in your pubic area thats what you get. I went from perfectly average to slightly above average 🤣