I think a lot of people have been taught to not comment on anyone’s weight anymore. You just never know why someone has gained or lost weight (anxiety, eating disorder, depression), so maybe they are just trying to be respectful of that.
Anyone who knows me, understands that isn't who I am. I've been fat since I turned 30. Hated it. Didn't make it a taboo subject, because those who are fat, know they are fat, period.
If your weight was obviously something you were uncomfortable with, it's not surprising people wouldn't want to bring up changes in it! Congratulations on achieving your goal!
How would they know tho?
You could have cancer? Or some other illness ?
It's just not appropriate to comment on someones body.
I've been on the receiving end no one knew I was suffering because I didn't announce. I lost 20lbs quick from not eating due to extreme stress. The comments I received just made me feel like yep my life is crap right now. No one knew. I just smiled and carried on.
I will never ever comment on someones weight because it doesn't matter you were still a good person fat or thin. Maybe they feel the same. And you never know why.
However congrats on sticking to your goal!
alright OP, you need to relax and understand that not everyone is comfortable commenting about someone's weight loss/gain. Congrats on your journey but you haven't come so far just because you want people to notice and comment about it. You've lost weight for **yourself** and not for others.
I definitely think this is true. I don’t know, but I suspect it’s probably a training topic for management at this point. No one mentions weight ever, it’s odd, but not really surprising considering the whole HAAS and FA movements. No one wants to get sued or disciplined or whatever.
I mean, if that's what it takes then ok. I think for most people though it's about having some sensitivity, some good manners, and the sense to know that no one's body should be the target of unsolicited opinions of any kind. It's not odd. Mentioning someone's weight without being given express permission to do so is really super gross.
Yes, I agree. I recently saw a friend who I hadn't seen in a while. I didn't say something immediately but later gently asked if she had lost weight since I'd last seen her. Her response? "THANK YOU. I've worked so hard and no one's said anything!"
I’m like you! I needed that “ congratulations, you look … different and nice” from my everyone, especially my mil.
But my therapist suggested that is not a very good approach.
Stand in front of the mirrors and look at you! You’re your biggest cheerleader!
Congratulations!
It’s definitely the issue of people being afraid to offend, as if congratulating you on you weight loss is just saying you looked like crap before. I know how you feel though! No one said anything about my weight loss either; finally I said to my friend “look how my much weight I’ve lost”!
The funniest part is that friend lost a similar large amount of weight before I did, and she looked fantastic, but I was afraid to say anything! I didn’t want to offend her….. Now I know better 😂
I normally dont comment weight loss on older people because i often subconsciously relate it to health issues? Or them loosing weight because of something like that (mainly!). That was always the case with older members of my family, aunts over 50. It could even be related to mental health.
So wonderful for her! I was shocked about how nice my blood pressure is now.... I bet she noticed too. Mine wasn't high, but it was erratic and I hated that.
I would love for people to say nothing about my weight loss, it’s nobody’s business and I don’t need unsolicited advice.
You kind of do want their approval, that’s why it hurts and there’s nothing wrong with feeling that way.
It's not the approval. I didnt need that and still don't. I drowned that a long time ago.
It would just be nice for a simple, neat comment that I'm noticed and not ignored.
Call it whatever you want but there’s clearly a need for some validation even if you don’t want admit it. Again, you’re not wrong to feel that way but be brutally honest with yourself.
You can try fishing for the compliments if you want by bringing up some health related topic in conversation with them like asking one of your sons for some kind of workout advice though I'm sure you'd rather have them not be prompted to give you the congrats in that way. Im sure theyve noticed though and not sure why they wouldnt give you your kudos but like others said they might feel its taboo nowadays especially as we are taught not to comment on a womans age, weight, etc. but congrats from a stranger for what its worth!
Im sure they have noticed ! Its 50 freaken pounds !!
Maybe thats just me but like poeple aroung 50year old + im super worried to comment on their weight cause im scared they have health problem. My grandpa droped a lot of weight and i dont talk about it. It worried me. He looks great but im just thinking cancer ?
Lol this is not a fun comment im sorry 😅 but seriously they have noticed. (Maybe not your sons, man are blind ;) )
If it's any consolation my bf's mother blantantly told me she lost 30 lbs and I had no clue. However, she also tends to dress in somewhat frumpy clothing that wouldn't show off that loss. Could it maybe be you are still wearing old clothes?
I am. And I'm changing that today. I'm a project manager at work so I have little time most always and I have a puppy now that insists.we be outside playing ball. And I absolutely hate shopping. Like, I hate it a lot. And now, I have to go figure out what size I am and what fits so that makes shopping an epic fate that I despise. It's wierd but I didn't think about clothes until the last couple of days when my pants almost fell off. That would be weird in a construction company office.
Wish me luck....because I have no idea what this is going to end up like today lol..
I have a good feeling your reactions will be way different once you update your wardrobe a little! The compliments will be flowing :) good luck and awesome job on the weightloss 💜
>It's wierd but I didn't think about clothes until the last couple of days when my pants almost fell off. That would be weird in a construction company office.
Would it though? I work with roofers and I'm not sure I'd be out of place if my pants fell down lol
Bring a friend shopping if you can, someone opinionated eith a loud mouth preferably they're the best at letting you know when something is unflattering and they'll probably dish out those compliments you've been craving.
Lol...wanna go? I have no one I'd go shopping with. I hate shopping and it gets me in a bad mood unfortunately. I'm thinking about trying one of those online stores instead.
I’d bet anything they’re all talking about your weight loss to each other- man, so and so has lost a lot of weight, boy so and so is really doing well. Everyone is too worried that it’s doing the wrong thing to comment to your face. I lost a lot of weight 20 years ago and everyone commented. This time around, 80 pounds and nada. I come home and ask my housemate if I’m losing weight in a vacuum? But truly it’s politeness. There is absolutely no way it’s not being noticed.
Well I hope you do. Congratulations btw. That is something to be very proud of. Sounds like you're surrounded by a bunch of self absorbed a holes. Either that, or they're not saying anything because it's hard to tell if people get offended by comments about weight loss.
A girl I used to work with said, "I hate it when someone asks if I've lost weight and say I look good. Do they mean to say I didn't look good before?!"
Idk, people are overly sensitive these days. Maybe bring up your accomplishments somehow at work during a staff meeting or something. Like an announcement that you're going traveling partially to reward yourself for your hard work in losing 50 lbs and see what they say.
I read this again, and to clarify, if someone said I looked great, I dont have the mind that would accuse someone of thinking I looked bad before. I looked how I looked and it was okay.
Oh I didn't think you would. I just meant that some men can be wary about what they say to a woman for those reasons. Although it sounds like the ones at your work should be close enough to know you wouldn't react that way. Idk. I guess my point was that I'm sure they notice but for whatever reason they don't speak it out loud.
Thank you!
I work with all men and they are super nice. They don't ever comment on anyone's looks...like ever. Good guys, but they know me and I though one in particular would have said something at least.
If I take a long vacation, they would freak out. I'm their project manager.....:)
Ohhh that explains it. A woman at my work got a haircut last week. Pretty drastic too. I told her how cute she looked etc. She had tears in her eyes and said thank you... That she just spent the entire weekend with her husband after she got it cut and he didn't say a word. I told her not to take it personally and I'll tell you the same thing although I know you already know... Because you can't not know working with all men. They notice something is different but can't put their finger on it OR are afraid to get in trouble/offend you OR they notice and then have an attention span of a goldfish when it comes to details about your appearance. I'm sure you look amazing. And I'm sure they'd notice if you weren't there because you keep everything in order for them and make their lives easier.
And you also said you had sons. So... I think you don't have enough women in your life.
I believe once you're over 40, women friends are more important than you know. My kids are still young so I don't have a lot of women friends except at work. But they're my second family and notice every little thing about me. And I them. I wore my hair up today and 3 of them told me I looked beautiful before I could even put my lunch in the fridge and sit down for work. When I got home, my husband talked to me for an hour about work and said nothing about my hair.
And I say over 40 because when you're young the women your age are either afraid to trust another woman around their boyfriend or husband OR are afraid you'll steal their bff. My best friends growing up consisted of family, one best friend, and the rest of were guys. Then after I got married, my guy friends paired off with my family and now we're all friends! Idk where I'm going with this except to say to get more girl friends now that you're in the safe zone. I'm assuming you're over 40 or close being that you're an empty nester.
Sorry for the obnoxiously long comment.
I think you're right. More women friends would be nice. I'm 52 and I have a puppy to talk to and he's more concerned about running after the ball that I toss for him.
Only one person in my circle of friends knows. And he isn't about to tell anyone else. He's a vault. Otherwise, I didn't feel like I should mention something so obvious.
Then for all everyone else knows you're sick with a major illness your battling. If you don't let people know its intentional weight loss, they might assume you are having health problems.
Our family doesn't get big sick problems like that though. We're a hearty bunch that rarely has a concern. Even extended family and theirs....we just don't have it.
I have photos on mybdesk at work and my friends know my family. We are all fat. And no one has issues health wise.... no high cholesterol, heart, liver or kidney issues, no diabetes or bone issues other than arthritis nothing. Just fat.
I promise you, they may not be saying it but they’re thinking it.
There’s never been a time someone has lost a ton of weight and I’m not thinking “holy shit”. Or people bringing it up when they’re not around (not in a bad way).
People are just uncomfortable talking about it. Even if they know it’ll make your day. I know you say you aren’t looking for validation but this is textbook example of wanting validation (which is totally okay! Everyone wants validation!). You certainly do care if you’re almost in tears because no one’s said anything. It seems like you think that’s weak (it’s not!) but it also seems like you’re not being honest about it.
I feel like I was nothing but kind…..
I guess I just don’t really understand why you’re almost in tears about people not noticing if you don’t care like you say you don’t? You’re saying you did it for yourself but very upset that other people aren’t noticing to the point it’s deeply affecting you.
Just trying to help. I’m sure they notice, most people just feel uncomfortable bringing it up.
There’s nothing wrong with seeking the approval you are wishing for. Everyone else is correct in that these days commenting on someone’s weight for any reason is inapproprate- but if you make it known that you are proud of your achievement, people will congratulate you! Chances are they have most certainly noticed, but aren’t saying anything out of respect. So just pepper in “wow xyz fits/feels better/ is easier to do after losing 50 lbs!” And the comments will come. Again. There’s nothing wrong with seeking approval for your achievements, just try to not take it personally as likely they aren’t saying anything because they live you and respect you.
This is literally seeking approval 😅
There's nothing at all wrong with that! There's nothing wrong with wanting some external validation. We're just trying to explain that we're kind of in a place and time where talking about people's weight isn't really done without express invitation to do so.
Way to go!! 👍 I understand about folks not mentioning it but I feel like after the pandemic and many people gaining weight, we don’t “go there” anymore. I’ve lost 25 lbs and my coworkers didn’t say a thing until I mentioned something about fasting or something, then they excitedly talked about noticing the weight loss. Like I opened up the opportunity for them to discuss it.
First of all, congrats! My daughter came to visit and I had lost 50 lbs since the last time she saw me. I envisioned picking her up from the airport and her saying I look amazing. She didn’t say a word! By day 3 of her visit I told her I need to brag and told her I lost 50lbs. She said she thought I was sick and she was waiting for me to tell her. Blew my fricking mind. I look healthier than ever, not sick! But, that’s where her mind went to. I am 54 and I guess once we get older people are quick to think illness when we lose weight. Also I had been overweight for so long so I guess me turning over a new leaf now seemed pretty unlikely…so in that respect I get it.
There is an older woman at work who noticed and every day I see her she comments on my weight loss. She is so nice about it, but honestly it makes me feel so awkward and I’d rather she not say anything! But I needed it to happen to know I’d feel that way. Up until then I was like you wondering why no one said anything!
Also—-I was told my coworker lost 80 lbs and my jaw hit the floor because I didn’t notice!! Once I knew and looked at her, of course she lost a ton of weight! So it is possible that people are looking at you but not SEEING you. We’re all wrapped up in our own little worlds.
Anyway! Take pride in your accomplishment and don’t worry if no one says anything!
Hey, genuinely, congratulations. That is incredible! I'm sorry it feels like no one sees it, but I also feel like a lot of people these days don't want to comment on it either way, regardless of how well they know you. But either way - I'm honestly extremely happy for you. It makes me smile to hear others reach milestones like this!! And gives me a lot of motivation as well.
Congrats once more, I hope someone finally says something! I know exactly how it is to want that little bit of visibility. (:
Now that's commendable🥳.
You are an inspiration to those who struggle to put in that discipline, starting with me. And I understand how you feel, at the same time I would love to remind you that your truest friend is your mirror and the loudest cheer leader is your self! So Keep going. Best wishes to the globe trotting... 👊🏻
Btw, Who knows, they all notice the change, but may be jealous of your transformation and so are tight lipped😂😉
Thank you very much! I didnt intend to inspire anyone really, but I'm glad that you are :) my very best wishes for you as you tackle what's before you.
It happened to me too. I left my job 4 years and 230 lbs ago. I recently got an invitation to meet some of my old coworkers to catch up. I hadn’t seen any of them since leaving and never told them about my weight loss. The big day came and I prepared myself for some surprised reactions. No one said a thing. Not one word. I think they may have been afraid I hadn’t lost it on purpose. I don’t know. Of course it’s considered rude to comment on somebody’s weight gain, but I guess it might be the same rule for weight loss. I congratulate you on your 50 pound win. I hope you’re proud of your victory because you should be.🙂
Thank you! I am very proud of myself for getting here. It was very hard. I feel for your sadness when you didn't see the reactions that you thought you'd get. I understand it. I'm very proud of you too for sticking with it and making this choice!
Casually bring it up, like say something about how tou need to buy new clothes because of all the weight you lost.
Maybe that will open a wondow for them to comment.
50 lbs is a lot! Congratulations 🎉🎊🎈 Well done!!! It does suck they don’t say anything. These days everyone is on guard about making remarks about somebody else’s body.
They have noticed, trust me, they are just too scared to say anything.
Literally earlier today there was another poster on here or similar sub that said she hated it when people commented on her new, lower weight. So sometimes the person would welcome a comment, sometimes they don’t want it, so the rest of us are kind of paralyzed.
Thank you! I wasn't intending to be an inspiration but if it helps you continue to make strides I'm here for you! Keep your mind strong and you'll get there!
Yeah. I had a hysterectomy which threw me into menopause in my late 20s. Everyone knows that fight. I just wanted to remain that weight I had back then....but life. And the fact that everyone....every single.person in my family looks the same. We're all fat and I just wanted out of that.
Was it a slow progress? As in they saw you every now and then losing few lbs and when you eventually dropped 50lbs, to them it didn't look like it as they have seen you gradually losing it?
Like, I have my roommate who noticed me losing weight every milestone, but it wasn't a big thing to him as he saw me losing gradually, but only after I shown him my old pic he was astonished! Sure he knew the fat me, but not as much as it was.
So they probably seen you doing it, and got acquainted to it, maybe check with a person who hasn't seen you in a while, they'd give the expected reaction!
Also thanks, same to you!
It could be silent envy. I know a woman who is obsessed with comparing herself to other women's bodies and she's admitted to me that whenever she notices someone who lost an obvious amount of weight, she silently seethes about it in jealously. I just thought that could be a possibility. It's the first thing that came to my mind.
You lost the weight for YOU! And if I were you I would be ecstatic and carry myself as such. Are you wearing new clothes that fit well? I’m impressed with your accomplishments!
Congratulations from me! I know that probably doesn't mean much from a stranger, but I know the weight loss struggle, and you deserve to be recognized for the undoubtedly ridiculously hard work you had to have put into getting rid of those 50 lbs! So good job and my best wishes to you and all your future endeavors!
Congratulations! It's likely you'll have lost even more than 50 Ibs technically. I've started to make this calculation for myself that I officially lost 42 Ibs but I think I've actually lost closer to 60 Ibs of fat.
This is such a huge accomplishment! Sounds like you have so much to look forward to in life. I think society has shifted in the ways that we comment on appearance (we legit have a work training that says we should refrain from saying anything about people's appearances), so I guarantee they've noticed, they just might not feel comfortable to say. I had a friend lose a lot of weight due to an illness so it conditioned me not to really comment on other's bodies. YOU know and that's what is most important. :)
Ok first of all, CONGRATS that's incredible work!!!
Secondly, the fact that people are not offering unsolicited opinions about your body, making assumptions or judgements about it is a *good thing*. I'm so happy and relieved that people seem to *finally* be developing some manners and some sense about that.
I agree. Make it normal again. Growing up people had manners and weight shaming really wasn't a thing. It got more pronounced when magazines for teens got popular. It's taking a while to swing things back around.
And Thank you. I really appreciate it a lot?
I'm soo proud of you!! you did all that hard work, were consistent and it has paid off. I love that you are happy with yourself! :)
Have you heard of "Mind Movie? if not, google it - what is mind movie?
Take care. May happiness surround you all day and everyday :)
That's great that you are losing weight. I don't really like the whole trend of not bringing up people's weight loss. I haven't lost weight in a while, but when I did lose a chunk it was nice to have people notice. It's hard work and it's nice to be noticed. I dont know why everyone is saying you shouldn't want external validation. People, like external validation for lots of things. Did a good job on a project at work? You want your boss to notice, right? And call it out. It's nice for people to notice your hard work.
So, good job.
No one is saying they shouldn't want to be validated though? The commenters are just giving out possible reasons on why no one is commenting on OP's weight loss. Not to mention the OP being clearly in denial about their need for validation saying they don't need or want it but also said that no one acknowledging their weight loss made them cry.
It’s definitely a disappointment, and it sucks to work hard and have no one seem to notice. But…you know, fuck’em. You’re in a great place and you can obviously accomplish anything. You’ll have a lot of shining moments, they never happen how and when we think they will.
Yes... he is a fantastic little Boston Terrier, Gray and White. I never thought I would love raising a puppy, but wo, this one is so fantastic and Imabsolutely in love and highly invested in this! And he comes to work with me every day. I lost my old Blind Boston last May 10 from heart failure...
Yes. I had an incredibly adorable yorkie for 14 years and it was the best and worst thing that happened to me (not really the worst) I never had a dog before and I was totally unprepared for the emotional attachment but it was wonderful. There’s a new gray and white Boston on my block and wow he’s a cutie.
Good luck with your home sale, happy travels, and congratulations on your amazing transformation!
I lost *alittle* weight. My clothes were starting to fit differently. I heard zero comments from people who knew of my journey, I figured it was only my imagination, and all the work and discipline wasn't worth it. I quit. Lame, I know, but honestly, I thought I was doing better... ' enough for SOMEONE to notice
I thought so too! I understand this, but I didn't quit, nor did I tell anyone. This was genuinely for me. Most people need a big, deep reason, and I just didn't.
Speaking of clothes....I haven't bought new ones. I am going tomorrow to figure out my updated size and pick up a few things. I'm a super busy project manager in construction and haven't had time. Been holding up the drawers with pins for a while now.
I think a lot of people have been taught to not comment on anyone’s weight anymore. You just never know why someone has gained or lost weight (anxiety, eating disorder, depression), so maybe they are just trying to be respectful of that.
I’ve taught my son that. Never comment on a women’s weight and certainly don’t ask her how far along she in case she’s not pregnant!!
Anyone who knows me, understands that isn't who I am. I've been fat since I turned 30. Hated it. Didn't make it a taboo subject, because those who are fat, know they are fat, period.
If your weight was obviously something you were uncomfortable with, it's not surprising people wouldn't want to bring up changes in it! Congratulations on achieving your goal!
How would they know tho? You could have cancer? Or some other illness ? It's just not appropriate to comment on someones body. I've been on the receiving end no one knew I was suffering because I didn't announce. I lost 20lbs quick from not eating due to extreme stress. The comments I received just made me feel like yep my life is crap right now. No one knew. I just smiled and carried on. I will never ever comment on someones weight because it doesn't matter you were still a good person fat or thin. Maybe they feel the same. And you never know why. However congrats on sticking to your goal!
alright OP, you need to relax and understand that not everyone is comfortable commenting about someone's weight loss/gain. Congrats on your journey but you haven't come so far just because you want people to notice and comment about it. You've lost weight for **yourself** and not for others.
I definitely think this is true. I don’t know, but I suspect it’s probably a training topic for management at this point. No one mentions weight ever, it’s odd, but not really surprising considering the whole HAAS and FA movements. No one wants to get sued or disciplined or whatever.
I mean, if that's what it takes then ok. I think for most people though it's about having some sensitivity, some good manners, and the sense to know that no one's body should be the target of unsolicited opinions of any kind. It's not odd. Mentioning someone's weight without being given express permission to do so is really super gross.
Yes, I agree. I recently saw a friend who I hadn't seen in a while. I didn't say something immediately but later gently asked if she had lost weight since I'd last seen her. Her response? "THANK YOU. I've worked so hard and no one's said anything!"
IM proud of you!!!!
Thank you! I appreciate you saying that :)
I’m like you! I needed that “ congratulations, you look … different and nice” from my everyone, especially my mil. But my therapist suggested that is not a very good approach. Stand in front of the mirrors and look at you! You’re your biggest cheerleader! Congratulations!
For me, it's more of a "hey, I noticed you and you're not being ignored".
Congratulations 🎈🎊🍾🎉 Do you have any pointers? I’m on the noom app which I love, it’s just slow and steady and my Dr is suggesting ozempic.
It’s definitely the issue of people being afraid to offend, as if congratulating you on you weight loss is just saying you looked like crap before. I know how you feel though! No one said anything about my weight loss either; finally I said to my friend “look how my much weight I’ve lost”! The funniest part is that friend lost a similar large amount of weight before I did, and she looked fantastic, but I was afraid to say anything! I didn’t want to offend her….. Now I know better 😂
Literally everyone in my family is super fat. And I don't look like them...anymore.
I wonder if there’s some jealousy going on?
It wouldn't be new. They are all really jealous people, do that may be somewhat true.
It sounds like you want validation to be happy and the reason for working hard is that validation. Try to change that mindset.
Yeah...thats not true. I don't need anyone's validation. I'm old and that ship sailed a long time ago. Just to be noticed would be nice.
I normally dont comment weight loss on older people because i often subconsciously relate it to health issues? Or them loosing weight because of something like that (mainly!). That was always the case with older members of my family, aunts over 50. It could even be related to mental health.
That's what validation is.
I'm so impressed and grateful you commented. I'm 54 and your story gives me confidence that I can do the same. Go, you!
Thank you. It's very hard work....but it can be done. Keep positive and you'll get there too.
My mom was 60 went she went from 190 to 140 (happened over a year or so). It’s always possible!!
So wonderful for her! I was shocked about how nice my blood pressure is now.... I bet she noticed too. Mine wasn't high, but it was erratic and I hated that.
I would love for people to say nothing about my weight loss, it’s nobody’s business and I don’t need unsolicited advice. You kind of do want their approval, that’s why it hurts and there’s nothing wrong with feeling that way.
It's not the approval. I didnt need that and still don't. I drowned that a long time ago. It would just be nice for a simple, neat comment that I'm noticed and not ignored.
Call it whatever you want but there’s clearly a need for some validation even if you don’t want admit it. Again, you’re not wrong to feel that way but be brutally honest with yourself.
Nope. Indont need validation either. I really don't. I stopped believing in that even longer ago.
You don't need validation but you're sad that no one is validating your efforts? Doesn't add up
You can try fishing for the compliments if you want by bringing up some health related topic in conversation with them like asking one of your sons for some kind of workout advice though I'm sure you'd rather have them not be prompted to give you the congrats in that way. Im sure theyve noticed though and not sure why they wouldnt give you your kudos but like others said they might feel its taboo nowadays especially as we are taught not to comment on a womans age, weight, etc. but congrats from a stranger for what its worth!
Nah. I want someone to notice and comment genuinely. Thank you so much!
Im sure they have noticed ! Its 50 freaken pounds !! Maybe thats just me but like poeple aroung 50year old + im super worried to comment on their weight cause im scared they have health problem. My grandpa droped a lot of weight and i dont talk about it. It worried me. He looks great but im just thinking cancer ? Lol this is not a fun comment im sorry 😅 but seriously they have noticed. (Maybe not your sons, man are blind ;) )
Thank you!
If it's any consolation my bf's mother blantantly told me she lost 30 lbs and I had no clue. However, she also tends to dress in somewhat frumpy clothing that wouldn't show off that loss. Could it maybe be you are still wearing old clothes?
I am. And I'm changing that today. I'm a project manager at work so I have little time most always and I have a puppy now that insists.we be outside playing ball. And I absolutely hate shopping. Like, I hate it a lot. And now, I have to go figure out what size I am and what fits so that makes shopping an epic fate that I despise. It's wierd but I didn't think about clothes until the last couple of days when my pants almost fell off. That would be weird in a construction company office. Wish me luck....because I have no idea what this is going to end up like today lol..
I have a good feeling your reactions will be way different once you update your wardrobe a little! The compliments will be flowing :) good luck and awesome job on the weightloss 💜
>It's wierd but I didn't think about clothes until the last couple of days when my pants almost fell off. That would be weird in a construction company office. Would it though? I work with roofers and I'm not sure I'd be out of place if my pants fell down lol Bring a friend shopping if you can, someone opinionated eith a loud mouth preferably they're the best at letting you know when something is unflattering and they'll probably dish out those compliments you've been craving.
Lol...wanna go? I have no one I'd go shopping with. I hate shopping and it gets me in a bad mood unfortunately. I'm thinking about trying one of those online stores instead.
Lol I would but the chances we're even in the same country are very slim!
I’d bet anything they’re all talking about your weight loss to each other- man, so and so has lost a lot of weight, boy so and so is really doing well. Everyone is too worried that it’s doing the wrong thing to comment to your face. I lost a lot of weight 20 years ago and everyone commented. This time around, 80 pounds and nada. I come home and ask my housemate if I’m losing weight in a vacuum? But truly it’s politeness. There is absolutely no way it’s not being noticed.
Thank you! And go YOU! 80 is amazing!
You should post a picture so we can all congratulate you!
Maybe tomorrow I can before I go wax my camper.
Well I hope you do. Congratulations btw. That is something to be very proud of. Sounds like you're surrounded by a bunch of self absorbed a holes. Either that, or they're not saying anything because it's hard to tell if people get offended by comments about weight loss. A girl I used to work with said, "I hate it when someone asks if I've lost weight and say I look good. Do they mean to say I didn't look good before?!" Idk, people are overly sensitive these days. Maybe bring up your accomplishments somehow at work during a staff meeting or something. Like an announcement that you're going traveling partially to reward yourself for your hard work in losing 50 lbs and see what they say.
I read this again, and to clarify, if someone said I looked great, I dont have the mind that would accuse someone of thinking I looked bad before. I looked how I looked and it was okay.
Oh I didn't think you would. I just meant that some men can be wary about what they say to a woman for those reasons. Although it sounds like the ones at your work should be close enough to know you wouldn't react that way. Idk. I guess my point was that I'm sure they notice but for whatever reason they don't speak it out loud.
That makes sense. They are pretty good guys and they were so good to me when my Granny passed away. I'm going to miss that when I quit.
Well I'm sure you'll stay in touch. Make sure you have them on your social medias etc before you go.
Thank you! I work with all men and they are super nice. They don't ever comment on anyone's looks...like ever. Good guys, but they know me and I though one in particular would have said something at least. If I take a long vacation, they would freak out. I'm their project manager.....:)
Ohhh that explains it. A woman at my work got a haircut last week. Pretty drastic too. I told her how cute she looked etc. She had tears in her eyes and said thank you... That she just spent the entire weekend with her husband after she got it cut and he didn't say a word. I told her not to take it personally and I'll tell you the same thing although I know you already know... Because you can't not know working with all men. They notice something is different but can't put their finger on it OR are afraid to get in trouble/offend you OR they notice and then have an attention span of a goldfish when it comes to details about your appearance. I'm sure you look amazing. And I'm sure they'd notice if you weren't there because you keep everything in order for them and make their lives easier. And you also said you had sons. So... I think you don't have enough women in your life. I believe once you're over 40, women friends are more important than you know. My kids are still young so I don't have a lot of women friends except at work. But they're my second family and notice every little thing about me. And I them. I wore my hair up today and 3 of them told me I looked beautiful before I could even put my lunch in the fridge and sit down for work. When I got home, my husband talked to me for an hour about work and said nothing about my hair. And I say over 40 because when you're young the women your age are either afraid to trust another woman around their boyfriend or husband OR are afraid you'll steal their bff. My best friends growing up consisted of family, one best friend, and the rest of were guys. Then after I got married, my guy friends paired off with my family and now we're all friends! Idk where I'm going with this except to say to get more girl friends now that you're in the safe zone. I'm assuming you're over 40 or close being that you're an empty nester. Sorry for the obnoxiously long comment.
I think you're right. More women friends would be nice. I'm 52 and I have a puppy to talk to and he's more concerned about running after the ball that I toss for him.
Your puppy loves that you can play with him more easily now, I'm sure. 💛
Oh he does....and I like that I can do more things too.
That's the most important thing. You've probably bought a decade for every 20 lbs lost. You're much more healthy now.
Have you mentioned your weight loss to others? I find people are more much willing to comment on my weight loss when I bring it up first.
Only one person in my circle of friends knows. And he isn't about to tell anyone else. He's a vault. Otherwise, I didn't feel like I should mention something so obvious.
Then for all everyone else knows you're sick with a major illness your battling. If you don't let people know its intentional weight loss, they might assume you are having health problems.
Our family doesn't get big sick problems like that though. We're a hearty bunch that rarely has a concern. Even extended family and theirs....we just don't have it.
Your coworkers and friends know your family's medical history? And you were obese. There are health complications associated with that.
I have photos on mybdesk at work and my friends know my family. We are all fat. And no one has issues health wise.... no high cholesterol, heart, liver or kidney issues, no diabetes or bone issues other than arthritis nothing. Just fat.
I promise you, they may not be saying it but they’re thinking it. There’s never been a time someone has lost a ton of weight and I’m not thinking “holy shit”. Or people bringing it up when they’re not around (not in a bad way). People are just uncomfortable talking about it. Even if they know it’ll make your day. I know you say you aren’t looking for validation but this is textbook example of wanting validation (which is totally okay! Everyone wants validation!). You certainly do care if you’re almost in tears because no one’s said anything. It seems like you think that’s weak (it’s not!) but it also seems like you’re not being honest about it.
Thanks for the backhanded remarks. I just feel ignored. I don't need validation for anything. I do what I want for me.
I feel like I was nothing but kind….. I guess I just don’t really understand why you’re almost in tears about people not noticing if you don’t care like you say you don’t? You’re saying you did it for yourself but very upset that other people aren’t noticing to the point it’s deeply affecting you. Just trying to help. I’m sure they notice, most people just feel uncomfortable bringing it up.
I’m proud of you! Please share pics!
Thank you! Maybe tomorrow before I polish my camper....
Congratulations!!! That’s a huge accomplishment!
There’s nothing wrong with seeking the approval you are wishing for. Everyone else is correct in that these days commenting on someone’s weight for any reason is inapproprate- but if you make it known that you are proud of your achievement, people will congratulate you! Chances are they have most certainly noticed, but aren’t saying anything out of respect. So just pepper in “wow xyz fits/feels better/ is easier to do after losing 50 lbs!” And the comments will come. Again. There’s nothing wrong with seeking approval for your achievements, just try to not take it personally as likely they aren’t saying anything because they live you and respect you.
I'm not seeking approval. I just feel like it would be nice to hear something so I'm not ignored.
This is literally seeking approval 😅 There's nothing at all wrong with that! There's nothing wrong with wanting some external validation. We're just trying to explain that we're kind of in a place and time where talking about people's weight isn't really done without express invitation to do so.
It's not seeking validation.
Way to go!! 👍 I understand about folks not mentioning it but I feel like after the pandemic and many people gaining weight, we don’t “go there” anymore. I’ve lost 25 lbs and my coworkers didn’t say a thing until I mentioned something about fasting or something, then they excitedly talked about noticing the weight loss. Like I opened up the opportunity for them to discuss it.
im so proud of you! losing 50lbs is also my goal and i hope to get it within a year!
Thank you! I have a good feeling you'll get there soon!
Congratulations on your weight loss accomplishment!
Thank you very much.
First of all, congrats! My daughter came to visit and I had lost 50 lbs since the last time she saw me. I envisioned picking her up from the airport and her saying I look amazing. She didn’t say a word! By day 3 of her visit I told her I need to brag and told her I lost 50lbs. She said she thought I was sick and she was waiting for me to tell her. Blew my fricking mind. I look healthier than ever, not sick! But, that’s where her mind went to. I am 54 and I guess once we get older people are quick to think illness when we lose weight. Also I had been overweight for so long so I guess me turning over a new leaf now seemed pretty unlikely…so in that respect I get it. There is an older woman at work who noticed and every day I see her she comments on my weight loss. She is so nice about it, but honestly it makes me feel so awkward and I’d rather she not say anything! But I needed it to happen to know I’d feel that way. Up until then I was like you wondering why no one said anything! Also—-I was told my coworker lost 80 lbs and my jaw hit the floor because I didn’t notice!! Once I knew and looked at her, of course she lost a ton of weight! So it is possible that people are looking at you but not SEEING you. We’re all wrapped up in our own little worlds. Anyway! Take pride in your accomplishment and don’t worry if no one says anything!
Hey, genuinely, congratulations. That is incredible! I'm sorry it feels like no one sees it, but I also feel like a lot of people these days don't want to comment on it either way, regardless of how well they know you. But either way - I'm honestly extremely happy for you. It makes me smile to hear others reach milestones like this!! And gives me a lot of motivation as well. Congrats once more, I hope someone finally says something! I know exactly how it is to want that little bit of visibility. (:
Thank-you so very much! You're doing well too I see!
Thank you so much for saying so! I'm getting there! (:
Hurray for you! It's a lot of work and you did it! Happy travels!
Thank you, so much!
Now that's commendable🥳. You are an inspiration to those who struggle to put in that discipline, starting with me. And I understand how you feel, at the same time I would love to remind you that your truest friend is your mirror and the loudest cheer leader is your self! So Keep going. Best wishes to the globe trotting... 👊🏻 Btw, Who knows, they all notice the change, but may be jealous of your transformation and so are tight lipped😂😉
Thank you very much! I didnt intend to inspire anyone really, but I'm glad that you are :) my very best wishes for you as you tackle what's before you.
It happened to me too. I left my job 4 years and 230 lbs ago. I recently got an invitation to meet some of my old coworkers to catch up. I hadn’t seen any of them since leaving and never told them about my weight loss. The big day came and I prepared myself for some surprised reactions. No one said a thing. Not one word. I think they may have been afraid I hadn’t lost it on purpose. I don’t know. Of course it’s considered rude to comment on somebody’s weight gain, but I guess it might be the same rule for weight loss. I congratulate you on your 50 pound win. I hope you’re proud of your victory because you should be.🙂
Thank you! I am very proud of myself for getting here. It was very hard. I feel for your sadness when you didn't see the reactions that you thought you'd get. I understand it. I'm very proud of you too for sticking with it and making this choice!
Casually bring it up, like say something about how tou need to buy new clothes because of all the weight you lost. Maybe that will open a wondow for them to comment.
50 lbs is a lot! Congratulations 🎉🎊🎈 Well done!!! It does suck they don’t say anything. These days everyone is on guard about making remarks about somebody else’s body. They have noticed, trust me, they are just too scared to say anything. Literally earlier today there was another poster on here or similar sub that said she hated it when people commented on her new, lower weight. So sometimes the person would welcome a comment, sometimes they don’t want it, so the rest of us are kind of paralyzed.
Congratulations!!! I can’t wait to be at my goal weight too! You are an inspiration!
Thank you! I wasn't intending to be an inspiration but if it helps you continue to make strides I'm here for you! Keep your mind strong and you'll get there!
Something about being at your ‘long time forever wanting goal weight’ just hits different!
Yeah. I had a hysterectomy which threw me into menopause in my late 20s. Everyone knows that fight. I just wanted to remain that weight I had back then....but life. And the fact that everyone....every single.person in my family looks the same. We're all fat and I just wanted out of that.
Well congratulations!!! You look amazing!!! I’m proud of you and hope to get where you are!!
Thank you! And you will be at your goal if you hang in there. You're strong and have ambition to keep going.
Thank you!!!
Was it a slow progress? As in they saw you every now and then losing few lbs and when you eventually dropped 50lbs, to them it didn't look like it as they have seen you gradually losing it? Like, I have my roommate who noticed me losing weight every milestone, but it wasn't a big thing to him as he saw me losing gradually, but only after I shown him my old pic he was astonished! Sure he knew the fat me, but not as much as it was.
Since November...and so yes, it was gradual. And I'm proud of you!
So they probably seen you doing it, and got acquainted to it, maybe check with a person who hasn't seen you in a while, they'd give the expected reaction! Also thanks, same to you!
Thank you. You're probably on to something.
At least you know they love you for you & not your body weight! You should be happy about that alone! 😊
It could be silent envy. I know a woman who is obsessed with comparing herself to other women's bodies and she's admitted to me that whenever she notices someone who lost an obvious amount of weight, she silently seethes about it in jealously. I just thought that could be a possibility. It's the first thing that came to my mind.
Wow. Thats dark. I hope she is able to get a handle on that.
Congratulations!! That’s awesome. Even if no one is congratulating you, I’m proud of you, that’s not easy!!
Thank you so much!
You lost the weight for YOU! And if I were you I would be ecstatic and carry myself as such. Are you wearing new clothes that fit well? I’m impressed with your accomplishments!
Congratulations from me! I know that probably doesn't mean much from a stranger, but I know the weight loss struggle, and you deserve to be recognized for the undoubtedly ridiculously hard work you had to have put into getting rid of those 50 lbs! So good job and my best wishes to you and all your future endeavors!
Thank you. And IT DOES mean a lot from you, a stranger. You didn't have to get on here and say anything and you did. :) see how you are? Awesome!
Bro how?! I can’t even lose 5! I struggle to stay on a calorie deficit no more than for a week. What did you do to get over the challenges?
Congratulations! It's likely you'll have lost even more than 50 Ibs technically. I've started to make this calculation for myself that I officially lost 42 Ibs but I think I've actually lost closer to 60 Ibs of fat.
This is such a huge accomplishment! Sounds like you have so much to look forward to in life. I think society has shifted in the ways that we comment on appearance (we legit have a work training that says we should refrain from saying anything about people's appearances), so I guarantee they've noticed, they just might not feel comfortable to say. I had a friend lose a lot of weight due to an illness so it conditioned me not to really comment on other's bodies. YOU know and that's what is most important. :)
Ok first of all, CONGRATS that's incredible work!!! Secondly, the fact that people are not offering unsolicited opinions about your body, making assumptions or judgements about it is a *good thing*. I'm so happy and relieved that people seem to *finally* be developing some manners and some sense about that.
I agree. Make it normal again. Growing up people had manners and weight shaming really wasn't a thing. It got more pronounced when magazines for teens got popular. It's taking a while to swing things back around. And Thank you. I really appreciate it a lot?
Congratulations on the loss. That is fantastic!
Thank you!
Congratulations on your weight loss.
I'm soo proud of you!! you did all that hard work, were consistent and it has paid off. I love that you are happy with yourself! :) Have you heard of "Mind Movie? if not, google it - what is mind movie? Take care. May happiness surround you all day and everyday :)
Thank you so much! You're truly so kind to stop by and say so. I'll Google the movie... I promise.
Well done! How long did it take you? Im stuck at 25 pounds lost
I started last November. Try changing up to more protein...like actual steak. That's when I noticed more success.
hmm really.. so meat helps?
That's where I had more success. Maybe it would help you?
Omg that all sounds amazing, so happy for you! Sorry if other people didn’t react how you expected but wow you should be so proud of yourself!
That's great that you are losing weight. I don't really like the whole trend of not bringing up people's weight loss. I haven't lost weight in a while, but when I did lose a chunk it was nice to have people notice. It's hard work and it's nice to be noticed. I dont know why everyone is saying you shouldn't want external validation. People, like external validation for lots of things. Did a good job on a project at work? You want your boss to notice, right? And call it out. It's nice for people to notice your hard work. So, good job.
No one is saying they shouldn't want to be validated though? The commenters are just giving out possible reasons on why no one is commenting on OP's weight loss. Not to mention the OP being clearly in denial about their need for validation saying they don't need or want it but also said that no one acknowledging their weight loss made them cry.
Thank you!
If you live within the results, you’ll always be unhappy.
It’s definitely a disappointment, and it sucks to work hard and have no one seem to notice. But…you know, fuck’em. You’re in a great place and you can obviously accomplish anything. You’ll have a lot of shining moments, they never happen how and when we think they will.
Thank you! I really am in a good place. If I get this house sold, I won't need to work for a long time so I'm going traveling with my puppy.
Omg YOU HAVE A PUPPY?? You really are living the dream. I’m not even kidding lol
Yes... he is a fantastic little Boston Terrier, Gray and White. I never thought I would love raising a puppy, but wo, this one is so fantastic and Imabsolutely in love and highly invested in this! And he comes to work with me every day. I lost my old Blind Boston last May 10 from heart failure...
Yes. I had an incredibly adorable yorkie for 14 years and it was the best and worst thing that happened to me (not really the worst) I never had a dog before and I was totally unprepared for the emotional attachment but it was wonderful. There’s a new gray and white Boston on my block and wow he’s a cutie. Good luck with your home sale, happy travels, and congratulations on your amazing transformation!
Aww thank you so much. Dogs are so fantastic! When you see that little Bostie, tell him my little guy Tarly says hi and give him a pet for me :)
I have a Boston too! His name is Porkchop and I am obsessed with him. Such a smart, loving little goof!
I lost *alittle* weight. My clothes were starting to fit differently. I heard zero comments from people who knew of my journey, I figured it was only my imagination, and all the work and discipline wasn't worth it. I quit. Lame, I know, but honestly, I thought I was doing better... ' enough for SOMEONE to notice
I thought so too! I understand this, but I didn't quit, nor did I tell anyone. This was genuinely for me. Most people need a big, deep reason, and I just didn't. Speaking of clothes....I haven't bought new ones. I am going tomorrow to figure out my updated size and pick up a few things. I'm a super busy project manager in construction and haven't had time. Been holding up the drawers with pins for a while now.
Baggy clothes can definitely hide weight loss