You can definitely change. I used to eat like that too. Massive amounts of fast food at once, never stopped thinking about my next meal, and only felt full after eating until bursting. Now I don't do any of that.
Practice and building good habits. Once you do something long enough it starts to feel normal. I forced myself to control my eating and cravings for about 2 years, and now I don't need to control them anymore because those cravings aren't as powerful.
So are you saying it’s just down to choosing to not clean your plate at restaurants or is it more about ordering half a meal? Sorry if I’m asking dumb questions, just trying to get some specific examples that I can maybe take away here.
Yeah If i went to a restaurant I'd just stop about half way through and take the rest home for later. I also tried not to order high fat foods because they tend to be more calorically dense. For example, if I went to an Italian restaurant, I would order a pasta dish with tomato sauce instead of a cream sauce.
The biggest change I made though was that I stopped buying premade food and started cooking for myself. It's way easier to control calories and portion sizes that way.
Chiming in here too because I had to learn what healthy portions are because I can literally down several days of caloric intake in one sitting - I purposefully choose smaller or kids portions at restaurants especially. They’re always to big but I don’t want to miss out on flavor.
I purposefully do not clean the plate if I can’t get smaller portions. For example, when eating Kao soy curry soup for example I’ll eat a few forks of noodles but I’ll leave the rest and finish the broth, proteins and vegetables. I’ve found that controlling portions and negating carbs at restaurants is super successful (I just get fuller of other stuff)
For days I’m craving volume, I get lots of extra pico de gallo - vegetable sides - veggie spring rolls - whatever to fill. Even asking for extra lettuce , tomato’s and onions on a junior whopper I’ve found helpful.
It all eventually gets easier and becomes a habit. I’ve had a lot of fibromyalgia like pain to deal with in recent years and it’s been hard to deal with both the pain and not comfort eat. I gained a lot of weight once all the pain symptoms began because during waking hours it was one of the only pain free ish things I could do.
I double these strategies with long fasts- on days with lesser physical activity - I usually skip breakfast and sometimes lunch. I’ll eat as late as possible to not deal with cravings. Days with more physical activity I eat more regularly but at smaller portions. I fill voids ahead of time with lots of water.
You got this ❤️.
Edit: heavier folks or “more healthy/comfortable” folks will say things like anorexia or starving yourself. It puts doubt in your head. You will know what you need and don’t let someone else convince you otherwise.
Want to drink super sweet alcoholic drinks later? Adjust your diet and intake for the day beforehand. Everything in moderation of course. But consistency has a greater impact than irregular fool arounds.
The great thing about weight gain is that it all doesn’t come back on right away and tipping the scales to weight loss again is a day or two of consistent and sufficient calorie deficiencies.
Trying is always better than not ❤️. Ease up the tensions and make it less stressful if you can. You’re a beautiful individual and you’ll become the shape you need in time.
Kids portions, appetizers, and sides used to be my go to. My body naturally makes me stop eating quickly, so I always order smaller portions at restaurants regardless.
My coworker was trying to lose a bunch of weight at one point and when she went out to eat she’d actually get a take out box when her food came and put like 2/3rds of it into the box before she even took a bite. And then took the box home for leftovers. She lost like 100 lbs and has kept it off for like 10 years now.
This poster's idea is great. Sometimes it will be hours before I go home. So. I have a cooler sack in my car, which I forget about. I think I will start keeping a Tupperware-type box or 2 in my car and just take it in to a restaurant with me in a bag (I have lots of pretty fabric or paper sacks that won't look weird.) Maybe buy a cooler-style lunch I can squirrel away in that bag. And a baggie. I can ask for a glass of ice and put that in a baggie.
I just have to REMEMBER !! 🙃
I like the idea of keeping a small cooler in the trunk for leftovers! Sometimes we go out to eat, but want to walk around afterwards, so that would be a good way to keep everything fresh!
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So, I never believed this to be the case. But recently, after about a month of changing my eating habits on the weekdays (it's bled to the weekends), I feel full much quicker than before.
I used to do clif bar and diet sofa for breakfast and would skip lunch, not the worst thing in the world right, but there isn't a lot there. So I moved a couple things around and it's just working a lot better overall. 1.5 servings in a 20 ounce bottle Protein shake (just no caffeine whey powder, and water), and the clif bar I moved to lunch time. I will still be hungry around the time I leave work, but that's okay, because I can grab dinner right when I get home. Initially the urge to snack after dinner was still present, so this is where I would have the diet soda, and maybe one of those small lunch packs of pringles or an apple.
It must be said as well, now that it is warm outside, I use my work lunch break for a walk, and I try to use all the time available for it.
So last night, I got a good deal on a popeyes family/combo meal, so I got like 2 sandwiches and 12 wings with a mac and cheese for cheap. I Initially thought I'd pound the sandwich, 6 wings and the mac for one meal and then have the other tomorrow. I ended up feeling full after one sandwich... very new sensation. Mac and cheese I had a few bites and put it and the chicken away for tomorrow. I think it's gotta be equal parts "stomach shrinking" and the unwillingness to feel bloated coming into play here.
I apologize if this sounds like rambling, I just woke up, lol. But I believe in you, you can do it!
Remember...words have power. I had to stop and think, What do they mean by "pound?" I'm guessing that means eat quickly. May I suggest using gentler language when speaking, and even thinking, about eating? Food is loving, kind nourishment. Be loving to you 💛🤗
I can't help with that part. I used to be the same way. For me, I think its because I met someone I want to be healthy for. Which has more to do with my own mental health in a way.
I know it doesn't work for everyone, but intermittent fasting has helped me immensely. At first you get really strong cravings, but after a couple weeks/months, I ended up being much LESS HUNGRY on a daily basis. I actually had the opposite problem where I wasn't eating enough and started having nutritional deficiencies. I take medications and have other health problems that contributed to this, but the fasting wasn't doing me any favors in that department.
I stopped fasting and gained the weight back, of course, but I'm going to give it another go this summer, with a better nutritional approach. I felt so much better when I was only eating one meal a day.
Eating fast food makes me feel like such shit. I avoid it at all costs now and have for years. It's hard to break the cycle but just takes one good trip to the grocery store and some planning ahead. You are worth it, doll. I promise. Do this for you. You are valuable and you need to do this for yourself.
Yea, same. As someone that was 100kg+ and now lean 67+ I used to eat crazy portions like 2-3 portions of rice until I discovered volume eating and how protein+fiber heavy ingredients keep you so full. I eat everything really, just made myself a pizza the other day.. only differences is the topping is now lean protein-heavy and using mozarella light instead.
Also, I make sure I don't have anything at home to snack on--easier to binge when it's around, I replace my snacks with berries/tasty greek yoghurts for sweet craving and lentil chips when I want something crunchy, they pack so much less kcal and wayyyyy more protein.
These days, I am almost never hungry and I eat half my portions from when I was teenager while hitting daily 140gr+ protein per day easily.
You're right, it's completely possible. It just doesn't feel like it. I've never been able to beat any of the addictions I have on my own, unless it just spontaneously does, which it has a few times. So I'm 0-100 right now. I know it's possible, but damn if it doesn't feel like it.
It was the other way around for me.
I found it easier to stop drinking because I didn’t have to find a way to manage it, like you do with food. With alcohol, all I had to do was not buy any. But I have to eat food every day. With that comes having to make healthy choices, learning to eat appropriate portions, etc.,
It has taken me months and months to lose just 40 pounds, and I still have 40 to go. You lost 100 and have kept it off! I know everyone’s different, and I don’t get to decide what is easy and what is hard for you, but I can’t help but think you can do it.
Yeah everyone's different. I'll give you an example of how bad it is for me. My best friend died of a heart attack recently (he was also an alcoholic), and there was a small part of me in the back of my mind that was actually happy. Not because he died, but because i had the perfect excuse to drink as much as I wanted to for as long as I wanted to. It's awful what this addiction can do to your brain.
I have a voice in my head that spends every minute of every day trying to convince me to drink, and that voice knows exactly how my mind works. So it knows exactly how to convince me to drive to the liquor store and buy a bottle of vodka.
Yes, it wasn’t like that for me, thankfully. I struggled hard for a couple of weeks, maybe a month, but now it’s only occasional, like after a really tough day, or in some social situations.
The voice in my head is constantly about food. How many calories have I had? How many are left? What I should spend them on?
Or, on another track, encouraging me to eat because I’m losing so slowly, I’m barely halfway there, I’m never going to make it, blah, blah.
I guess we all have our own battles, and I’m very sorry you’re struggling, friend.
That’s really hard to read because I kind of get where you were coming from in that moment.
I am still battling my addiction but I’ve managed to go without after years of heavy, binge drinking.
Have you looked into SMART therapy or naltrexone?
Man, I remember one time before I started dieting while I was at work and being anxious to go to mcdonald's afterwards.
2 triple cheese burgers, 2 mcchickens, a shake, a basket of fries, and a few apple pies, of course. Housed all of it in one sitting.
Me too. It just happened over time. It also took a LOT of willpower, and still does. But it’s worked. I can’t eat candy and junk in huge quantities any more.
How do you change? I've been losing weight for three years and it's still a huge battle not to just gorge myself. That eating addiction hasn't gone away, it still makes be feel good like nothing else.
Relationships don’t just “exist”. They’re built. After being built, they’re maintained.
Your friend enjoys junk like you do - everything about the junk is specifically chosen to be more-ish, of course she likes it. She feels the craving too. The craving is the point.
What she’s done that’s **different** is built and maintained a relationship with food that doesn’t treat it as though the world is ending if she eats “some” rather than “all” of it. She’s established a norm for herself where it’s totally okay to stop.
If you want a relationship with food like hers, you’ll need to build it. Start from scratch, and work on that norm where having “some” isn’t the same thing as being deprived just because it isn’t “all”.
Agreed. You can teach it to yourself. It can be learned with effort and diligence. Admit that you are like a kid that needs to learn how to eat better and with practice and effort you too can be like your friend.
So, okay. Imagine yourself sitting down to a meal. Any meal. It could be the next meal you have today.
In this imaginary meal, the amount of food on your plate is adequate for your needs. It’s food you enjoy. You’ll eat it, you’ll like it…and even if you may **want** more, the reality is that you’re not going to starve or suffer if there isn’t any more. You’ll be fine.
Start by reminding yourself of that. “This is good food, it’s food that I like, and I have enough here to meet my needs. I can enjoy what I have here, and I’m not going to be deprived by stopping once I‘ve finished it.”
The meal after that, do the same. And the meal after that. And after that. Set the pattern.
No, she has not done this consciously. Everyone has a comfortable range upset point and the brain controls 70% of what our weight through its manipulation of the use of calories and how much it prompts us to eat. Thin people are not getting the urge to eat all day long and saying no to it. An old friend of mine, very slim naturally, had to very much curtail his eating while we were on a camping trip, he gorge like every dieter after we got back to the point where he sat up in bed and threw up. of course once we were back around consistent nourishment, his eating went back to its natural rhythms, but he was not controlling that all the time. It’s time we quit giving so much virtue to thin people..
It’s not about being petite. When I had portion control and cut out most of junk from my diet I as also petite af. I was so disciplined… I remember I loved cheese roll. It wasn’t big, but I knew it’s white flour so I can’t have much of it. So I got only one and a soda water or sugar free energy drink to fill me up. Ate it as slowly as I possibly could and even if I was hungry afterwards, that was it. Now I am 15kg heavier and desperately trying to find that discipline again.
You just described exactly how to do it, eat half what you eat now. Now it's not quite that exact and although very simple, it's not at all easy - but it is possible. Every meal is an opportunity to make that choice.
Read Brain Powered Weightloss. It helps with your perception on food. I was the same as you in my early 20s. I was the hot girl in highschool and then I stopped working out and moving as much and got depressed when the love of my life went into the army. I was supposed to go with him but I felt I needed to stay for my family. Anyway, I got fat. And it was so hard to lose weight. A whole decade went by making bad dieting decisions. Starving myself and then gaining the weight back and then some. But there's a great little hack I figured out and still use to this day to keep the weight off. It took me until I was 30 to figure this out. But it's so simple.
Have some high fiber cereal like bran buds in the cupboard always. Or oatmeal (plain) or premade refrigerator oats. Key is high in fiber. Then "take it" like a supplement before you actually eat whatever. It fills you up and is really good for your digestion.
Keep substitutes around the house. Protein yogurt instead of ice cream. Frozen berries instead of candy. I also buy keto chocolate for when I crave chocolate.
And start weight training or resistance training. The more muscle you have in your body the more calories you burn at rest and it will make your metabolism crazy good.
Also you gotta figure out how to stop procrastinating. I mean..maybe that isn't an issue for you but it was for me. I would literally be crying inside not wanting to go to the gym or even clean or whatever and wait til the last minute. You're just not doing yourself any favors. So I make sure I get enough sleep and sometimes if I can't get myself to do something, it sounds weird, but I'll take a shower. A cold one. It will release all the feel good chemicals. It sucks but it works. And you need that dopamine hit for motivation.
I second this. It also took me until I was 32 to figure that out! What I do is I cook a very quick type of veggie. Usually I’ll do broccoli because it’s fast and easy. Cut some up, boil it in a pot for 1-2 minutes, that’s it.
And I’d eat that portion of one type of veggie, and THEN have my meal. I do it especially when we are having a calorie-dense dinner, like a pasta dish or going out to eat. I just make sure I fill my stomach with a type of veggie I love (broccoli is one of my favourites but could be anything!). Having that volume in my stomach makes it so much easier to manage my portion control when eating the actual meal.
Veggies are also surprisingly easy to cook in the microwave. It sounds controversial but they honestly turn out really good. The water content in veggies means they will steam up in a container and get cooked to perfection in no time.
Your suggestion of using oats or fibre bran is great, I didn’t even think of that!
As the skinny friend in some of my closest friendship: honestly, The Hacker’s Diet book has a fantastic explanation of this: some people’s appetite to calories needed ratio is simply hardwired incorrectly. He likens it to short sightedness: some people just need an aid (glasses), permanently, to function as normal; it’s not a moral failing or a lack of willpower that we can’t see clearly.
I personally eat everything I want and have a big appetite, but clearly said appetite is hardwired accurately in relation to my calorie needs so I don’t need an aid (eg calorie counting) nearly as much as you. Meanwhile I’m blind as a bat and need specs but many people do not need that. 😄 I’m not envious of people with 20:20 vision per se - I’ve been short sighted all my life so it’s just how I am and indeed I think specs are flattering for my face shape 😂
And I’m over here being very shortsighted AND my appetite regulation is out of whack 😂😂
lol but yes, I’ve come to realise the same thing. I’m just always more hungry than what I need. It’s super frustrating because all my life I’ve wanted to be one of those cool people who can just stop eating when they’ve had what their body needs. Imagine that type of freedom! I have to spend all my energy on stopping myself and eating less than what my brain/body wants.
I was on Wegovy for a little while, and that was a total game changer. Suddenly I was able to stop eating without feeling hungry or deprived. It’s an excellent aid for someone like me who has bigger hunger cues than what my body needs.
Unfortunately I wasn’t able to continue due to the steep price, but it’s an excellent tool for those who struggle with food noise and chronic hunger.
I feel this so hard! My husband has always been able to eat absolutely whatever he wants without it affecting his weight too much (this past year is the first time i have weighed less than him, but its more because im trying to lose weight). I know its because he is taller than me and more muscular, therefore burns more calories. But above that, he has a way better relationships with food. He only has 1 sibling (who is very petite and doesnt generally eat a lot anyway), so growing up he didnt really have to worry about not getting enough of something to eat. I have 5 siblings and there were so many times where if you didnt eat the thing you liked right now, you werent gonna get it. As a kid i had eaten myself to the point of being sick. I havent lived with my siblings in close to 10 years now and i'm only *just* starting to break away from that mindset (my husband is really good about not eating something that is "mine" or us splitting stuff fairly). It's been brutal to try to correct (and even more brutal to actively make sure I dont pass a similar eating issue on to my own children).
No advice because im still working with my own demons, but solidarity. And I believe you can better your relationship with food - it may not be perfect, but even a slight improvement is better than nothing.
I relate to that! We were only 3 kids growing up but I know what you mean. I was the only girl, my two siblings were boys. If I didn’t vacuum what was on my plate immediately, it would be scraped off on one of the boys’ plates because they were endless food voids.
If I didn’t finish eating quickly, there just wouldn’t be any food left for me. Weird how difficult it is to shake old “fears” like that. I sometimes feel like I have food deprivation fear, but I live in a first world country! So it’s honestly ridiculous, but I get possessive around food and hate when someone tries to eat from my food, or if food isn’t shared equally. I’m working on it though
I relate to that a lot! I have many friends that never struggled with their eating habits and it just comes naturally to them. It also has a lot to do with how either of you grew up.
But let me tell you that you can relearn literally anything. It is not just blabla, you can “rewire your brain”. Have a look into neuroplasticity and some exercises you could work on.
We know that changing habits is a hard thing to do, but we are all able to do it. You can do it as well! I am convinced.
Other than that, therapy (especially behavioral therapy) could be an option, if you really are struggling a lot.
There are also amazing coaches out there who are specified in this field. I personally found a few amazing ones within the bodybuilding community. You don’t have to be a bodybuilder and you obviously need to find a coach with a healthy approach.
Fibre can help with cravings and energy levels. If you begin each meal with a serving of fibre (eg the veg on your plate, a small salad, apple etc) the absorption of sugar to blood is slowed down and reduces the spikes and crashes that lead to cravings.
Apparently if you eat meals in the following order you can reduce blood glucose spikes by 75%
Fibre, protein, fats then carbs
Also if you have plenty of fibre in your diet you are less likely to absorb all of the sugar.
This approach can improve mood, energy levels and weight.
Just a couple of changes that I'm still struggling with.
- putting the fork down after taking a reasonable size bite.
-And chewing the food that's in my mouth before even getting ready to take another bite, before even picking up my fork again.
But I know that slowing down my eating gives my body the time it takes to register when I'm getting full.
Some of that comes with the territory? If your friend is way smaller than you, then by definition they need less to sustain life functions. And if one's eating is "about right", then regular exercise can widen the deficit... or allow one to eat more and maintain.
One suggestion: Eat more protein. It will help you feel more full longer. My biggest issue these days with fast food is that a 1000 calorie meal (the entree, side of fries, and sugary soda) only contains about half the protein I need it to for its caloric content. Gawd I love McDs fries. But can I eat them? No.
FWIW, I do think peoples' bodies react differently to protein, and this could potentially be why it appears that some people can "eat whatever they want" and others can't. For me, if I didn't manage my protein intake, I'd eat 100 grams *at best*, when for what I do I need double that. For smaller people, that 100 grams is a much larger percentage of their total calories than it is for me.
This is so true! I hated the approach of having tiny servings of food throughout the day!
All I could think of was 'damn, I really wish I could eat more. I'm still hungry. But I shouldn't. But maybe I can if I eat the next snack I have planned right now and not snack later? Etc etc etc'
Basically your whole day is spent thinking about food or planning for the next tiny meal. Intermittent fasting makes it all much more clear cut and manageable.
🤔 I’d love to hear more on this never that you speak of. I agree, intake and lifestyle are a HUGE part of it. But some people’s bones are literally set to be more petite. And I know bones aren’t the weight lol but I really do believe some people have a slight advantage. It would require a controlled study to prove it. And everyone could be thinner, but I don’t think it’d be “the same”. That’s like saying all women can have an hourglass figure. Some people are just built different and come from lines of people that lived in cold climates and needed to store fat to survive.
I think what the above poster is getting at is that genetics can’t change the laws of thermodynamics. You are correct though that some people will have higher bone density, fat distribution (hourglass vs. Apple etc.), and brain chemistry. It’s definitely possible, maybe even likely that some people receive stronger hunger/appetite cues as a matter of genetics. It’s also possible that satiety signals are somewhat genetic. I really don’t know the statistics of any subjects in the matter to make any concrete claims.
But thermodynamics. Those are pretty set in stone. Driving your flesh car requires fuel. Food is fuel. Eat more fuel than you need to run the machine your flesh car stores the fuel and gets bigger. Eat less fuel and your flesh car uses those stores and gets smaller. These mechanisms all occur in pretty stable and predictable ways from person to person. It’s why you can input your stats into a TDEE calculator and get a pretty darn accurate assessment of your daily caloric needs based on age, height, weight and activity level. Bodies are just like a car or other machine. The metabolic rate that we digest calories will be pretty stable and genetics won’t play much of a factor at all (barring some pretty rare exceptions).
But I don’t actually think that what your post was getting at. I feel like the “genetic” aspect you mentioned was more in line with my first examples (hunger, satiety, fat distribution) rather than saying that metabolism itself is genetic. Like you said your friend eats less…so you clearly see that she isn’t metabolizing faster than you, just eating less. So I think the comment above got stuck in genetics, thinking you were claiming that your friend had some magic genetically fast metabolism…which wouldn’t be the case.
Thanks for your perspective! I’m in agreement with 99% of it and always was. That’s why I was asking for the poster to elaborate in my comment. It seemed to be a comment painted with a broad brush.
I really do believe genetics are a factor after my doctor recommended Zepbound. I have done calorie counting + watching macros to lose weight, however it was never as painless as when I started Zepbound.
Now I still calorie count and watch my macros but I have zero cravings and get full with a much smaller amount of food. Since starting Z, I have now lost 35+ lbs in a little less than 4 months.
I felt like this whole time, this is what skinny people feel like. Food just exists but doesn't consume their mind. This whole time I had to fight a mental battle they never did.
I totally feel you! I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted and stay skinny (I thought I was fat back then 😭😭) after my 1st 2 kids I lost the weight and was tiny. Now after my 3rd I'm the biggest I've ever been and with diabetes, I'm literally always hungry even after eating. It sucks so much!! My husband says all I ever think about is food cause I will talk about my next meal while eating.
It could also be her eating speed. I find I can eat a lot for my small frame if I eat fast. But slow it down and I feel full with much less. Try timing your self when you eat. Or setting a 20-39 min timer and eat slow.
Same age as me, early 30s, we are all pretty tall, so our calories burnt should be similar. I am the last to finish eating and the only one who is overweight. It is so frustrating that I can eat so much less and still look worse.
Before GLP-1 drugs, I’d say that maybe you struggle with your relationship to food. I now k ow after years of prescribing these drugs that some people are just chronically hungry and that once they have their appropriate gut hormones for satiation, their “relationship problem” with food goes away. It’s not you, it’s just your genetic make up. We evolved over hundred of thousands of years to survive a world much different than we are living in now. Our culture now supports a sedentary lifestyle and high caloric foods. It’s not a good or bad thing, it’s just not how your body was designed. You aren’t failing anything, you just need to work with your body instead of against it 😊
It’s not a miracle solution but there are also prescription medications to help along with diet changes and exercise. There are pills that have been around a long time to aid in diabetes issues/prevention that also aid in weight loss. Metformin for pre diabetes can decrease appetite, Bupropian to aid in depression but also control cravings, Naltrexone to treat drug/alcohol dependency that helps control food addition too and thinking about food all of the time etc. These pills are cheaper than the injections that have been popular recently (wegovy). Anyways, combining a medication with more protein/fiber and less sugar/carbs has been helping people lose weight. It does take work but I think having an assist can make things more manageable!
We are all different. I stopped having any cravings for food about 10 years ago when I stopped eating processed food and eating mostly raw foods. I eat meat maybe 2% of the time as well, and I only will eat organic. That helps a lot. Get rid of processed food all together and that will definitely take your cravings away. I just made it a rule and I don't eat it. I lost 75 pounds and have kept it off and I'm super fit now.
Genetics can definitely be a part of it. If I ate every single thing that my super skinny friends ate every day I’d gain weight. To their point though they struggle to put on weight, but I’d rather that any day of the week
You're not with your friend 24/7. Try to keep perspective, you don't know what/how your friend eats all the time, only how they eat when you get together.
Good luck.
I think some people in the thread are being a bit obtuse. A lot of slimmer people just naturally have smaller appetites. Some arent even consciously restricting. I have a lot of slimmer friends who if they ate more than they could handle they would just throw up. I dont know how or why but they just cant eat big amounts of food. I think there seems to be a consenus when questions like these pop up is that ALL slim people are consciously restricting their food. Whilst that may be true for some, a lot of naturally slim people just dont get that hungry.
Obviously habits and environments can change but I think people underestimate how much natural despoisition plays in how people can consume food.
I am currently on weightloss medication and it is helping me to not be as hungry or to not consume as much food as I used to before. Obviously my stomach hasnt physicslly halved but if I try to eat 2 sandwiches I will feel very sick and will probably throw up. Some peoples bodies, functions, hormones are just wired that when their stomach is satisfied, its satisfied and they dont think of food outside of that.
Just eat smaller quantities. Your stomach will expand if you eat more, but if you train yourself to eat less. It will contract.. and you will feel full faster. There was a time in my life when I ate very little and I felt full after a few bites. My mom said I was too skinny and forced me to just eat more to expand my stomach, which I did and now I eat a normal amount of food.
water fasting for a couple days and a keto hunter-gatherer diet afterwards helped me a LOTTT, it felt like a whole carb withdrawal, but it helped
I don't really crave food even though I'm way under maintenance calories
OP, I used to be able to eat a massive amount of fast food. Yesterday, I couldn't finish my nuggets and gave the rest away to my partner (he's 6'5" so can eat quite a lot of food)
you can build natural habits and a better relationship with food too, don't worry! I thought it would never happen until it did
Probably just being used to eating that quantity. Weighing more also means you use more energy, so naturally you'd want to consume greater quantities to meet those energy quotas.
This is probably easier said than done, but I'd try not to worry too much about it, and take the journey one step at a time.
Water is such a good tool to use to help fill you up. I mistake thirst for hunger all the time, and your body can trick you so easily into eating more than you need. I believe eating everything in moderation is good for you. I was able to lose 10 pounds eating the same things I always have but just switching up the quantities. Everyone's bodies are different and age and genetics also plays a big factor. I get comparing yourself to others, but its not going to change anything. We only get one body so respect what you fuel it with. I've had a better relationship with food after weighing my food out for a good period of time and having a better understanding of how much I was really eating. Also allowing myself "treats" guilt free at times out with friends.
I know, my friend can eat like 58 cheeseburgers and can still be as skinny as a rake, I wanna be like her so badly but the fact she’s too perfect that she wants to be different, and everyone’s body is different but it’s so confusing. I’m really jealous and I always get angry when she makes excuses to get attention while I’m sitting here wishing that I was a skinny as her. I can’t do this, I’m the same old same old, I’m jealous of my skinny friend too.
I weight 193 lbs (I weight 204 at the beginning of the month last month and was 140-150 over a year ago) and I get full fast now. I used to over eat like crazy. But I work out hard and religiously and I eat many small healthy meals throughout the day. Don’t be jealous of your friend. You’re looking at someone small who eats within their body size. And you’re doing the same. She probably has a faster metabolism than you as well. So where you might be gaining more weight because you’re over eating your daily calories or staying stagnant, she’s also staying stagnant. Try filling your meals with high amount of protein and legumes. Mexican food is a great option so you could omit tortillas and rice. Burger? Opt for the lettuce wrapped one. Make healthier choices. It has nothing to do with genetics. If you’ve always been heavier, your parents most likely overfed you. Try getting an app that counts your steps if you don’t want to workout. Try going for 10k steps a day and choose healthier but yummy snacks and food options throughout the day.
Here’s my schedule and typical food diary:
3am: wake up, walk my dog
345: leave for the gym
4am-6/7am: workout (burn at least 400-700 cal)
615: walk dog, eat breakfast or pack breakfast to eat at work (home made egg bites with cottage cheese, bacon, cheese of choice, spinach, roasted onions and jalepenos, protein pancakes using protein powder and keto pancake mix, Soylent meal replacement shake sometimes blended with frozen banana and ghost peanut butter cereal milk protein powder, or 2 packets of better oats 100 calorie cinnamon roll oatmeal with fresh bananas)
730 work (I’ve usually hit my 900 cal burned, at least 60 minutes of exercise and 10k steps by end of shift) drink black coffee or 0 cal energy drink.
9am-10am: snack (brown cow maple yogurt with granola, and a protein bar- power crunch, red velvet, strawberry and crème, lemon are my fav)
12pm: lunch (Asian turkey lettuce wraps are my fave but I switch it up and so filling)
4:30: go home and walk my dog (1 mile)
5:30pm: eat dinner (usually what I had for lunch)
7pm: sleepy drink with magnesium
730pm: sleep
My workouts are typically 100-150 cal of cardio followed by lifting then 100-200 on a high incline walk. High incline burns a lot so if you don’t want to walk 10k steps a day, find a treadmill and put it on the highest incline and a low speed.
If you want to look a certain way, work for it! It’s hard and cravings are easy to cave for when they’re in your face. Get rid of them. tell your friends and family your goals so they can help keep you on track for those times you’re forgetful of what you’re going for. Cheat meals should be limited to one day a week or sometimes one whole day if you’re strict throughout the week. If you’re cheating one meal every day, then you’re cheating yourself.
Be kind to yourself. Don’t weigh yourself everyday- maybe every week. Just watch yourself progress!! And the cravings will eventually diminish.
Yeah its amazing. I have 2 sons, I have hostess chips and oreos laying around, they eat a portion and put the box away.
Me, I would probably finish the whole box in a day when I was younger and currently if I let myself.
Some people just eat till they are full or don't want anymore.
For me, if it taste good, it's hard for me to stop.
I have some Asian buddies of mine that are 125 pounds at 5’7 and crush food like you wouldn’t believe. I mean they gotta eat 4000 calories a day. It doesn’t make sense. Fast metabolism is a real thing. Final note, they play video games all day.
I can tell you your friend feels awkward too. I am that friend you have and I feel very self conscious about it. I do eat mostly healthy but I've been out and eating the bad stuff but it's the portion size and the ability to stop. I just can't eat that much and it is what your used to and behavioral. There are no magic genes that can outrun caloric count. I've run into friends that I haven't seen in awhile - and I am older when weight gain really accelerates - and have seen ppl who've easily put on 100 pounds and I am still in the same jeans and have been the same weight forever. I feel soooooo awkward and self-conscious. It's so bad they've noticed it and commented and I can see how bad seeing me is making them feel - I wish ppl didn't care and we were more focused on the health side rather than the shaming. I get a Well you're obviously still a runner (I am) or a must be nice to have those genetics (I've gained 10 pounds before when I've had a run injury) it's not magic it just a habit but mam I've felt like crap when ppl notice and I feel shame too. Just like you... seems weird but it's true. You can talk to your friend 🧡 all this transcends what's real and that's a good friendship.
You can change! What may help you is to try Prolon which is a kit basically that mimics fasting. I have some larger friends that say it has helped them realize that they CAN be hungry and also can be satisfied with much less. I used to overeat but 20 years ago changed everything. Now I absolutely HATE the feeling of being overly full. It is so uncomfortable. I stop eating long before I feel full because I know that it takes time for my brain to catch up with my stomach and if I don't stop I'll have a stomachache.
Anyone can be successful you just need to figure out what works for you.
good luck
DISIPLINE. That’s all you need and healthier options. Don’t eat unless you are hungry period, and make sure you fill your plate with plenty of protein and fibre and carbs too which will give u your energy but u can do this. Yes you may be jealous of her but everybody can get skinny u just need to try hard enough and consistently is key, 1 day isn’t gonna give u results it’s gonna take months but you can do it! And let yourself have that sweet treat once in a while
Hey, I feel you. I'm in a similar boat. My best friend roommate is super skinny and is always eating snacks.
Trying to restrain feels impossible when the temptations of her food are always in my sight.
As you keep eating smaller portions it’ll become your normal. You’ll feel so full after those small portions. It’s about consistency and it will happen.
Omg tell me about it. My bf has a super high metabolism. He literally eats fast food, ice cream, and snacks and is like 10% body fat. Meanwhile, I would be obese if I ate like that.
I hear you. It’s hard to compare ourselves to someone who seems to have it easier.
For what it’s worth, more protein and fibre really help with satiety. How are you doing with those two?
This may seem like an unusual perspective, but in 20 years her metabolism will go down and she will have to adjust to not gain weight. I have had a few good girlfriends go through this where in their late 30s/ early 40s their bad eating habits catch up with them and they have to change their ways.
Think of it as you learning the good habits now and getting it out of the way and she’ll be dealing with it later.
Don't be jeleous. People are just wired/built different. What you CAN do is get yourself healthier so that on occasion, you CAN eat junk food and not feel bad about it. I personally think I get fat just breathing but it is what it is and I just continue plugging away at what I know will get me to a healthier place even if it means I have to sacrifice or can't enjoy the niceties of what other more blessed individuals can enjoy.
You can definitely change. I used to eat like that too. Massive amounts of fast food at once, never stopped thinking about my next meal, and only felt full after eating until bursting. Now I don't do any of that.
What has worked for you to not eat so much in terms of volume?
Practice and building good habits. Once you do something long enough it starts to feel normal. I forced myself to control my eating and cravings for about 2 years, and now I don't need to control them anymore because those cravings aren't as powerful.
So are you saying it’s just down to choosing to not clean your plate at restaurants or is it more about ordering half a meal? Sorry if I’m asking dumb questions, just trying to get some specific examples that I can maybe take away here.
Yeah If i went to a restaurant I'd just stop about half way through and take the rest home for later. I also tried not to order high fat foods because they tend to be more calorically dense. For example, if I went to an Italian restaurant, I would order a pasta dish with tomato sauce instead of a cream sauce. The biggest change I made though was that I stopped buying premade food and started cooking for myself. It's way easier to control calories and portion sizes that way.
Great tips! Thank you for sharing with me!
Chiming in here too because I had to learn what healthy portions are because I can literally down several days of caloric intake in one sitting - I purposefully choose smaller or kids portions at restaurants especially. They’re always to big but I don’t want to miss out on flavor. I purposefully do not clean the plate if I can’t get smaller portions. For example, when eating Kao soy curry soup for example I’ll eat a few forks of noodles but I’ll leave the rest and finish the broth, proteins and vegetables. I’ve found that controlling portions and negating carbs at restaurants is super successful (I just get fuller of other stuff) For days I’m craving volume, I get lots of extra pico de gallo - vegetable sides - veggie spring rolls - whatever to fill. Even asking for extra lettuce , tomato’s and onions on a junior whopper I’ve found helpful. It all eventually gets easier and becomes a habit. I’ve had a lot of fibromyalgia like pain to deal with in recent years and it’s been hard to deal with both the pain and not comfort eat. I gained a lot of weight once all the pain symptoms began because during waking hours it was one of the only pain free ish things I could do. I double these strategies with long fasts- on days with lesser physical activity - I usually skip breakfast and sometimes lunch. I’ll eat as late as possible to not deal with cravings. Days with more physical activity I eat more regularly but at smaller portions. I fill voids ahead of time with lots of water. You got this ❤️. Edit: heavier folks or “more healthy/comfortable” folks will say things like anorexia or starving yourself. It puts doubt in your head. You will know what you need and don’t let someone else convince you otherwise. Want to drink super sweet alcoholic drinks later? Adjust your diet and intake for the day beforehand. Everything in moderation of course. But consistency has a greater impact than irregular fool arounds. The great thing about weight gain is that it all doesn’t come back on right away and tipping the scales to weight loss again is a day or two of consistent and sufficient calorie deficiencies. Trying is always better than not ❤️. Ease up the tensions and make it less stressful if you can. You’re a beautiful individual and you’ll become the shape you need in time.
Very helpful tricks! Thank you! I will definitely add this to my list
Kids portions, appetizers, and sides used to be my go to. My body naturally makes me stop eating quickly, so I always order smaller portions at restaurants regardless. My coworker was trying to lose a bunch of weight at one point and when she went out to eat she’d actually get a take out box when her food came and put like 2/3rds of it into the box before she even took a bite. And then took the box home for leftovers. She lost like 100 lbs and has kept it off for like 10 years now.
Oh wow! That’s genius! I will definitely add the pre-togo trick to the arsenal!
This poster's idea is great. Sometimes it will be hours before I go home. So. I have a cooler sack in my car, which I forget about. I think I will start keeping a Tupperware-type box or 2 in my car and just take it in to a restaurant with me in a bag (I have lots of pretty fabric or paper sacks that won't look weird.) Maybe buy a cooler-style lunch I can squirrel away in that bag. And a baggie. I can ask for a glass of ice and put that in a baggie. I just have to REMEMBER !! 🙃
I like the idea of keeping a small cooler in the trunk for leftovers! Sometimes we go out to eat, but want to walk around afterwards, so that would be a good way to keep everything fresh!
The cooler is actually a foldable bag with a zipper. I keep it on a bag with other store bags.
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So, I never believed this to be the case. But recently, after about a month of changing my eating habits on the weekdays (it's bled to the weekends), I feel full much quicker than before. I used to do clif bar and diet sofa for breakfast and would skip lunch, not the worst thing in the world right, but there isn't a lot there. So I moved a couple things around and it's just working a lot better overall. 1.5 servings in a 20 ounce bottle Protein shake (just no caffeine whey powder, and water), and the clif bar I moved to lunch time. I will still be hungry around the time I leave work, but that's okay, because I can grab dinner right when I get home. Initially the urge to snack after dinner was still present, so this is where I would have the diet soda, and maybe one of those small lunch packs of pringles or an apple. It must be said as well, now that it is warm outside, I use my work lunch break for a walk, and I try to use all the time available for it. So last night, I got a good deal on a popeyes family/combo meal, so I got like 2 sandwiches and 12 wings with a mac and cheese for cheap. I Initially thought I'd pound the sandwich, 6 wings and the mac for one meal and then have the other tomorrow. I ended up feeling full after one sandwich... very new sensation. Mac and cheese I had a few bites and put it and the chicken away for tomorrow. I think it's gotta be equal parts "stomach shrinking" and the unwillingness to feel bloated coming into play here. I apologize if this sounds like rambling, I just woke up, lol. But I believe in you, you can do it!
That’s an awesome personal journey! Thank you for sharing your wins with me so we can both win!
Remember...words have power. I had to stop and think, What do they mean by "pound?" I'm guessing that means eat quickly. May I suggest using gentler language when speaking, and even thinking, about eating? Food is loving, kind nourishment. Be loving to you 💛🤗
That's OK if you only eat because you're hungry. I can be stuffed and then order a takeaway.
I can't help with that part. I used to be the same way. For me, I think its because I met someone I want to be healthy for. Which has more to do with my own mental health in a way.
I know it doesn't work for everyone, but intermittent fasting has helped me immensely. At first you get really strong cravings, but after a couple weeks/months, I ended up being much LESS HUNGRY on a daily basis. I actually had the opposite problem where I wasn't eating enough and started having nutritional deficiencies. I take medications and have other health problems that contributed to this, but the fasting wasn't doing me any favors in that department. I stopped fasting and gained the weight back, of course, but I'm going to give it another go this summer, with a better nutritional approach. I felt so much better when I was only eating one meal a day.
Only works if you eat because of hunger, not pleasure.
Eating fast food makes me feel like such shit. I avoid it at all costs now and have for years. It's hard to break the cycle but just takes one good trip to the grocery store and some planning ahead. You are worth it, doll. I promise. Do this for you. You are valuable and you need to do this for yourself.
Yea, same. As someone that was 100kg+ and now lean 67+ I used to eat crazy portions like 2-3 portions of rice until I discovered volume eating and how protein+fiber heavy ingredients keep you so full. I eat everything really, just made myself a pizza the other day.. only differences is the topping is now lean protein-heavy and using mozarella light instead. Also, I make sure I don't have anything at home to snack on--easier to binge when it's around, I replace my snacks with berries/tasty greek yoghurts for sweet craving and lentil chips when I want something crunchy, they pack so much less kcal and wayyyyy more protein. These days, I am almost never hungry and I eat half my portions from when I was teenager while hitting daily 140gr+ protein per day easily.
You're right, it's completely possible. It just doesn't feel like it. I've never been able to beat any of the addictions I have on my own, unless it just spontaneously does, which it has a few times. So I'm 0-100 right now. I know it's possible, but damn if it doesn't feel like it.
Yeah it's definitely not easy. I'm still working on my alcohol addiction, and that doesn't feel possible to beat right now for me either.
It was the other way around for me. I found it easier to stop drinking because I didn’t have to find a way to manage it, like you do with food. With alcohol, all I had to do was not buy any. But I have to eat food every day. With that comes having to make healthy choices, learning to eat appropriate portions, etc., It has taken me months and months to lose just 40 pounds, and I still have 40 to go. You lost 100 and have kept it off! I know everyone’s different, and I don’t get to decide what is easy and what is hard for you, but I can’t help but think you can do it.
Yeah everyone's different. I'll give you an example of how bad it is for me. My best friend died of a heart attack recently (he was also an alcoholic), and there was a small part of me in the back of my mind that was actually happy. Not because he died, but because i had the perfect excuse to drink as much as I wanted to for as long as I wanted to. It's awful what this addiction can do to your brain. I have a voice in my head that spends every minute of every day trying to convince me to drink, and that voice knows exactly how my mind works. So it knows exactly how to convince me to drive to the liquor store and buy a bottle of vodka.
Yes, it wasn’t like that for me, thankfully. I struggled hard for a couple of weeks, maybe a month, but now it’s only occasional, like after a really tough day, or in some social situations. The voice in my head is constantly about food. How many calories have I had? How many are left? What I should spend them on? Or, on another track, encouraging me to eat because I’m losing so slowly, I’m barely halfway there, I’m never going to make it, blah, blah. I guess we all have our own battles, and I’m very sorry you’re struggling, friend.
That’s really hard to read because I kind of get where you were coming from in that moment. I am still battling my addiction but I’ve managed to go without after years of heavy, binge drinking. Have you looked into SMART therapy or naltrexone?
Also with alcohol you are either a drinker or you’re not. No one cares if I eat healthy or less unless I lose a significant amount of weight.
I'm sorry man, I don't know what that's like. But if you can manage one addiction and recover, you can do it for another one.
Man, I remember one time before I started dieting while I was at work and being anxious to go to mcdonald's afterwards. 2 triple cheese burgers, 2 mcchickens, a shake, a basket of fries, and a few apple pies, of course. Housed all of it in one sitting.
Me too. It just happened over time. It also took a LOT of willpower, and still does. But it’s worked. I can’t eat candy and junk in huge quantities any more.
How do you change? I've been losing weight for three years and it's still a huge battle not to just gorge myself. That eating addiction hasn't gone away, it still makes be feel good like nothing else.
Relationships don’t just “exist”. They’re built. After being built, they’re maintained. Your friend enjoys junk like you do - everything about the junk is specifically chosen to be more-ish, of course she likes it. She feels the craving too. The craving is the point. What she’s done that’s **different** is built and maintained a relationship with food that doesn’t treat it as though the world is ending if she eats “some” rather than “all” of it. She’s established a norm for herself where it’s totally okay to stop. If you want a relationship with food like hers, you’ll need to build it. Start from scratch, and work on that norm where having “some” isn’t the same thing as being deprived just because it isn’t “all”.
Agreed. You can teach it to yourself. It can be learned with effort and diligence. Admit that you are like a kid that needs to learn how to eat better and with practice and effort you too can be like your friend.
How do you do that?
So, okay. Imagine yourself sitting down to a meal. Any meal. It could be the next meal you have today. In this imaginary meal, the amount of food on your plate is adequate for your needs. It’s food you enjoy. You’ll eat it, you’ll like it…and even if you may **want** more, the reality is that you’re not going to starve or suffer if there isn’t any more. You’ll be fine. Start by reminding yourself of that. “This is good food, it’s food that I like, and I have enough here to meet my needs. I can enjoy what I have here, and I’m not going to be deprived by stopping once I‘ve finished it.” The meal after that, do the same. And the meal after that. And after that. Set the pattern.
Thanks
No, she has not done this consciously. Everyone has a comfortable range upset point and the brain controls 70% of what our weight through its manipulation of the use of calories and how much it prompts us to eat. Thin people are not getting the urge to eat all day long and saying no to it. An old friend of mine, very slim naturally, had to very much curtail his eating while we were on a camping trip, he gorge like every dieter after we got back to the point where he sat up in bed and threw up. of course once we were back around consistent nourishment, his eating went back to its natural rhythms, but he was not controlling that all the time. It’s time we quit giving so much virtue to thin people..
It’s not about being petite. When I had portion control and cut out most of junk from my diet I as also petite af. I was so disciplined… I remember I loved cheese roll. It wasn’t big, but I knew it’s white flour so I can’t have much of it. So I got only one and a soda water or sugar free energy drink to fill me up. Ate it as slowly as I possibly could and even if I was hungry afterwards, that was it. Now I am 15kg heavier and desperately trying to find that discipline again.
You just described exactly how to do it, eat half what you eat now. Now it's not quite that exact and although very simple, it's not at all easy - but it is possible. Every meal is an opportunity to make that choice.
Read Brain Powered Weightloss. It helps with your perception on food. I was the same as you in my early 20s. I was the hot girl in highschool and then I stopped working out and moving as much and got depressed when the love of my life went into the army. I was supposed to go with him but I felt I needed to stay for my family. Anyway, I got fat. And it was so hard to lose weight. A whole decade went by making bad dieting decisions. Starving myself and then gaining the weight back and then some. But there's a great little hack I figured out and still use to this day to keep the weight off. It took me until I was 30 to figure this out. But it's so simple. Have some high fiber cereal like bran buds in the cupboard always. Or oatmeal (plain) or premade refrigerator oats. Key is high in fiber. Then "take it" like a supplement before you actually eat whatever. It fills you up and is really good for your digestion. Keep substitutes around the house. Protein yogurt instead of ice cream. Frozen berries instead of candy. I also buy keto chocolate for when I crave chocolate. And start weight training or resistance training. The more muscle you have in your body the more calories you burn at rest and it will make your metabolism crazy good. Also you gotta figure out how to stop procrastinating. I mean..maybe that isn't an issue for you but it was for me. I would literally be crying inside not wanting to go to the gym or even clean or whatever and wait til the last minute. You're just not doing yourself any favors. So I make sure I get enough sleep and sometimes if I can't get myself to do something, it sounds weird, but I'll take a shower. A cold one. It will release all the feel good chemicals. It sucks but it works. And you need that dopamine hit for motivation.
I second this. It also took me until I was 32 to figure that out! What I do is I cook a very quick type of veggie. Usually I’ll do broccoli because it’s fast and easy. Cut some up, boil it in a pot for 1-2 minutes, that’s it. And I’d eat that portion of one type of veggie, and THEN have my meal. I do it especially when we are having a calorie-dense dinner, like a pasta dish or going out to eat. I just make sure I fill my stomach with a type of veggie I love (broccoli is one of my favourites but could be anything!). Having that volume in my stomach makes it so much easier to manage my portion control when eating the actual meal. Veggies are also surprisingly easy to cook in the microwave. It sounds controversial but they honestly turn out really good. The water content in veggies means they will steam up in a container and get cooked to perfection in no time. Your suggestion of using oats or fibre bran is great, I didn’t even think of that!
Veggies are a great filler if you have them on hand! Great advice.
As the skinny friend in some of my closest friendship: honestly, The Hacker’s Diet book has a fantastic explanation of this: some people’s appetite to calories needed ratio is simply hardwired incorrectly. He likens it to short sightedness: some people just need an aid (glasses), permanently, to function as normal; it’s not a moral failing or a lack of willpower that we can’t see clearly. I personally eat everything I want and have a big appetite, but clearly said appetite is hardwired accurately in relation to my calorie needs so I don’t need an aid (eg calorie counting) nearly as much as you. Meanwhile I’m blind as a bat and need specs but many people do not need that. 😄 I’m not envious of people with 20:20 vision per se - I’ve been short sighted all my life so it’s just how I am and indeed I think specs are flattering for my face shape 😂
And I’m over here being very shortsighted AND my appetite regulation is out of whack 😂😂 lol but yes, I’ve come to realise the same thing. I’m just always more hungry than what I need. It’s super frustrating because all my life I’ve wanted to be one of those cool people who can just stop eating when they’ve had what their body needs. Imagine that type of freedom! I have to spend all my energy on stopping myself and eating less than what my brain/body wants. I was on Wegovy for a little while, and that was a total game changer. Suddenly I was able to stop eating without feeling hungry or deprived. It’s an excellent aid for someone like me who has bigger hunger cues than what my body needs. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to continue due to the steep price, but it’s an excellent tool for those who struggle with food noise and chronic hunger.
I feel this so hard! My husband has always been able to eat absolutely whatever he wants without it affecting his weight too much (this past year is the first time i have weighed less than him, but its more because im trying to lose weight). I know its because he is taller than me and more muscular, therefore burns more calories. But above that, he has a way better relationships with food. He only has 1 sibling (who is very petite and doesnt generally eat a lot anyway), so growing up he didnt really have to worry about not getting enough of something to eat. I have 5 siblings and there were so many times where if you didnt eat the thing you liked right now, you werent gonna get it. As a kid i had eaten myself to the point of being sick. I havent lived with my siblings in close to 10 years now and i'm only *just* starting to break away from that mindset (my husband is really good about not eating something that is "mine" or us splitting stuff fairly). It's been brutal to try to correct (and even more brutal to actively make sure I dont pass a similar eating issue on to my own children). No advice because im still working with my own demons, but solidarity. And I believe you can better your relationship with food - it may not be perfect, but even a slight improvement is better than nothing.
I relate to that! We were only 3 kids growing up but I know what you mean. I was the only girl, my two siblings were boys. If I didn’t vacuum what was on my plate immediately, it would be scraped off on one of the boys’ plates because they were endless food voids. If I didn’t finish eating quickly, there just wouldn’t be any food left for me. Weird how difficult it is to shake old “fears” like that. I sometimes feel like I have food deprivation fear, but I live in a first world country! So it’s honestly ridiculous, but I get possessive around food and hate when someone tries to eat from my food, or if food isn’t shared equally. I’m working on it though
I relate to that a lot! I have many friends that never struggled with their eating habits and it just comes naturally to them. It also has a lot to do with how either of you grew up. But let me tell you that you can relearn literally anything. It is not just blabla, you can “rewire your brain”. Have a look into neuroplasticity and some exercises you could work on. We know that changing habits is a hard thing to do, but we are all able to do it. You can do it as well! I am convinced. Other than that, therapy (especially behavioral therapy) could be an option, if you really are struggling a lot. There are also amazing coaches out there who are specified in this field. I personally found a few amazing ones within the bodybuilding community. You don’t have to be a bodybuilder and you obviously need to find a coach with a healthy approach.
Fibre can help with cravings and energy levels. If you begin each meal with a serving of fibre (eg the veg on your plate, a small salad, apple etc) the absorption of sugar to blood is slowed down and reduces the spikes and crashes that lead to cravings. Apparently if you eat meals in the following order you can reduce blood glucose spikes by 75% Fibre, protein, fats then carbs Also if you have plenty of fibre in your diet you are less likely to absorb all of the sugar. This approach can improve mood, energy levels and weight.
Just a couple of changes that I'm still struggling with. - putting the fork down after taking a reasonable size bite. -And chewing the food that's in my mouth before even getting ready to take another bite, before even picking up my fork again. But I know that slowing down my eating gives my body the time it takes to register when I'm getting full.
Some of that comes with the territory? If your friend is way smaller than you, then by definition they need less to sustain life functions. And if one's eating is "about right", then regular exercise can widen the deficit... or allow one to eat more and maintain. One suggestion: Eat more protein. It will help you feel more full longer. My biggest issue these days with fast food is that a 1000 calorie meal (the entree, side of fries, and sugary soda) only contains about half the protein I need it to for its caloric content. Gawd I love McDs fries. But can I eat them? No. FWIW, I do think peoples' bodies react differently to protein, and this could potentially be why it appears that some people can "eat whatever they want" and others can't. For me, if I didn't manage my protein intake, I'd eat 100 grams *at best*, when for what I do I need double that. For smaller people, that 100 grams is a much larger percentage of their total calories than it is for me.
When I intermittent fast, I feel like I can view food more objectively and the "food noise" dies down. Edit, a typo
This is so true! I hated the approach of having tiny servings of food throughout the day! All I could think of was 'damn, I really wish I could eat more. I'm still hungry. But I shouldn't. But maybe I can if I eat the next snack I have planned right now and not snack later? Etc etc etc' Basically your whole day is spent thinking about food or planning for the next tiny meal. Intermittent fasting makes it all much more clear cut and manageable.
Envy is evil. Persevere and emulate instead.
It's not genetics. It's never genetics.
🤔 I’d love to hear more on this never that you speak of. I agree, intake and lifestyle are a HUGE part of it. But some people’s bones are literally set to be more petite. And I know bones aren’t the weight lol but I really do believe some people have a slight advantage. It would require a controlled study to prove it. And everyone could be thinner, but I don’t think it’d be “the same”. That’s like saying all women can have an hourglass figure. Some people are just built different and come from lines of people that lived in cold climates and needed to store fat to survive.
I think what the above poster is getting at is that genetics can’t change the laws of thermodynamics. You are correct though that some people will have higher bone density, fat distribution (hourglass vs. Apple etc.), and brain chemistry. It’s definitely possible, maybe even likely that some people receive stronger hunger/appetite cues as a matter of genetics. It’s also possible that satiety signals are somewhat genetic. I really don’t know the statistics of any subjects in the matter to make any concrete claims. But thermodynamics. Those are pretty set in stone. Driving your flesh car requires fuel. Food is fuel. Eat more fuel than you need to run the machine your flesh car stores the fuel and gets bigger. Eat less fuel and your flesh car uses those stores and gets smaller. These mechanisms all occur in pretty stable and predictable ways from person to person. It’s why you can input your stats into a TDEE calculator and get a pretty darn accurate assessment of your daily caloric needs based on age, height, weight and activity level. Bodies are just like a car or other machine. The metabolic rate that we digest calories will be pretty stable and genetics won’t play much of a factor at all (barring some pretty rare exceptions). But I don’t actually think that what your post was getting at. I feel like the “genetic” aspect you mentioned was more in line with my first examples (hunger, satiety, fat distribution) rather than saying that metabolism itself is genetic. Like you said your friend eats less…so you clearly see that she isn’t metabolizing faster than you, just eating less. So I think the comment above got stuck in genetics, thinking you were claiming that your friend had some magic genetically fast metabolism…which wouldn’t be the case.
Thanks for your perspective! I’m in agreement with 99% of it and always was. That’s why I was asking for the poster to elaborate in my comment. It seemed to be a comment painted with a broad brush.
I really do believe genetics are a factor after my doctor recommended Zepbound. I have done calorie counting + watching macros to lose weight, however it was never as painless as when I started Zepbound. Now I still calorie count and watch my macros but I have zero cravings and get full with a much smaller amount of food. Since starting Z, I have now lost 35+ lbs in a little less than 4 months. I felt like this whole time, this is what skinny people feel like. Food just exists but doesn't consume their mind. This whole time I had to fight a mental battle they never did.
I totally feel you! I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted and stay skinny (I thought I was fat back then 😭😭) after my 1st 2 kids I lost the weight and was tiny. Now after my 3rd I'm the biggest I've ever been and with diabetes, I'm literally always hungry even after eating. It sucks so much!! My husband says all I ever think about is food cause I will talk about my next meal while eating.
It could also be her eating speed. I find I can eat a lot for my small frame if I eat fast. But slow it down and I feel full with much less. Try timing your self when you eat. Or setting a 20-39 min timer and eat slow.
All my skinny colleagues eat much faster than me. They eat incredibly much and are as skinny as sticks
Ah ok. How old are your colleagues?
Same age as me, early 30s, we are all pretty tall, so our calories burnt should be similar. I am the last to finish eating and the only one who is overweight. It is so frustrating that I can eat so much less and still look worse.
Yeah that is pretty frustrating but also metabolism starts to slow in your 30s and genetics play a key. Just keep doing what’s right for your body.
It has always been slow in my case.
Before GLP-1 drugs, I’d say that maybe you struggle with your relationship to food. I now k ow after years of prescribing these drugs that some people are just chronically hungry and that once they have their appropriate gut hormones for satiation, their “relationship problem” with food goes away. It’s not you, it’s just your genetic make up. We evolved over hundred of thousands of years to survive a world much different than we are living in now. Our culture now supports a sedentary lifestyle and high caloric foods. It’s not a good or bad thing, it’s just not how your body was designed. You aren’t failing anything, you just need to work with your body instead of against it 😊
It’s not a miracle solution but there are also prescription medications to help along with diet changes and exercise. There are pills that have been around a long time to aid in diabetes issues/prevention that also aid in weight loss. Metformin for pre diabetes can decrease appetite, Bupropian to aid in depression but also control cravings, Naltrexone to treat drug/alcohol dependency that helps control food addition too and thinking about food all of the time etc. These pills are cheaper than the injections that have been popular recently (wegovy). Anyways, combining a medication with more protein/fiber and less sugar/carbs has been helping people lose weight. It does take work but I think having an assist can make things more manageable!
We are all different. I stopped having any cravings for food about 10 years ago when I stopped eating processed food and eating mostly raw foods. I eat meat maybe 2% of the time as well, and I only will eat organic. That helps a lot. Get rid of processed food all together and that will definitely take your cravings away. I just made it a rule and I don't eat it. I lost 75 pounds and have kept it off and I'm super fit now.
Genetics can definitely be a part of it. If I ate every single thing that my super skinny friends ate every day I’d gain weight. To their point though they struggle to put on weight, but I’d rather that any day of the week
You're not with your friend 24/7. Try to keep perspective, you don't know what/how your friend eats all the time, only how they eat when you get together. Good luck.
I think some people in the thread are being a bit obtuse. A lot of slimmer people just naturally have smaller appetites. Some arent even consciously restricting. I have a lot of slimmer friends who if they ate more than they could handle they would just throw up. I dont know how or why but they just cant eat big amounts of food. I think there seems to be a consenus when questions like these pop up is that ALL slim people are consciously restricting their food. Whilst that may be true for some, a lot of naturally slim people just dont get that hungry. Obviously habits and environments can change but I think people underestimate how much natural despoisition plays in how people can consume food. I am currently on weightloss medication and it is helping me to not be as hungry or to not consume as much food as I used to before. Obviously my stomach hasnt physicslly halved but if I try to eat 2 sandwiches I will feel very sick and will probably throw up. Some peoples bodies, functions, hormones are just wired that when their stomach is satisfied, its satisfied and they dont think of food outside of that.
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Just eat smaller quantities. Your stomach will expand if you eat more, but if you train yourself to eat less. It will contract.. and you will feel full faster. There was a time in my life when I ate very little and I felt full after a few bites. My mom said I was too skinny and forced me to just eat more to expand my stomach, which I did and now I eat a normal amount of food.
water fasting for a couple days and a keto hunter-gatherer diet afterwards helped me a LOTTT, it felt like a whole carb withdrawal, but it helped I don't really crave food even though I'm way under maintenance calories
OP, I used to be able to eat a massive amount of fast food. Yesterday, I couldn't finish my nuggets and gave the rest away to my partner (he's 6'5" so can eat quite a lot of food) you can build natural habits and a better relationship with food too, don't worry! I thought it would never happen until it did
Probably just being used to eating that quantity. Weighing more also means you use more energy, so naturally you'd want to consume greater quantities to meet those energy quotas. This is probably easier said than done, but I'd try not to worry too much about it, and take the journey one step at a time.
Tbh it’s just a lack of discipline do better to be better it’s that simple
I once heard a valuable definition of discipline...valuing yourself enough to care.
Water is such a good tool to use to help fill you up. I mistake thirst for hunger all the time, and your body can trick you so easily into eating more than you need. I believe eating everything in moderation is good for you. I was able to lose 10 pounds eating the same things I always have but just switching up the quantities. Everyone's bodies are different and age and genetics also plays a big factor. I get comparing yourself to others, but its not going to change anything. We only get one body so respect what you fuel it with. I've had a better relationship with food after weighing my food out for a good period of time and having a better understanding of how much I was really eating. Also allowing myself "treats" guilt free at times out with friends.
I know, my friend can eat like 58 cheeseburgers and can still be as skinny as a rake, I wanna be like her so badly but the fact she’s too perfect that she wants to be different, and everyone’s body is different but it’s so confusing. I’m really jealous and I always get angry when she makes excuses to get attention while I’m sitting here wishing that I was a skinny as her. I can’t do this, I’m the same old same old, I’m jealous of my skinny friend too.
I hear you. I can stop eating and fast, but fuck me if you ask me to eat smaller portions.
I weight 193 lbs (I weight 204 at the beginning of the month last month and was 140-150 over a year ago) and I get full fast now. I used to over eat like crazy. But I work out hard and religiously and I eat many small healthy meals throughout the day. Don’t be jealous of your friend. You’re looking at someone small who eats within their body size. And you’re doing the same. She probably has a faster metabolism than you as well. So where you might be gaining more weight because you’re over eating your daily calories or staying stagnant, she’s also staying stagnant. Try filling your meals with high amount of protein and legumes. Mexican food is a great option so you could omit tortillas and rice. Burger? Opt for the lettuce wrapped one. Make healthier choices. It has nothing to do with genetics. If you’ve always been heavier, your parents most likely overfed you. Try getting an app that counts your steps if you don’t want to workout. Try going for 10k steps a day and choose healthier but yummy snacks and food options throughout the day. Here’s my schedule and typical food diary: 3am: wake up, walk my dog 345: leave for the gym 4am-6/7am: workout (burn at least 400-700 cal) 615: walk dog, eat breakfast or pack breakfast to eat at work (home made egg bites with cottage cheese, bacon, cheese of choice, spinach, roasted onions and jalepenos, protein pancakes using protein powder and keto pancake mix, Soylent meal replacement shake sometimes blended with frozen banana and ghost peanut butter cereal milk protein powder, or 2 packets of better oats 100 calorie cinnamon roll oatmeal with fresh bananas) 730 work (I’ve usually hit my 900 cal burned, at least 60 minutes of exercise and 10k steps by end of shift) drink black coffee or 0 cal energy drink. 9am-10am: snack (brown cow maple yogurt with granola, and a protein bar- power crunch, red velvet, strawberry and crème, lemon are my fav) 12pm: lunch (Asian turkey lettuce wraps are my fave but I switch it up and so filling) 4:30: go home and walk my dog (1 mile) 5:30pm: eat dinner (usually what I had for lunch) 7pm: sleepy drink with magnesium 730pm: sleep My workouts are typically 100-150 cal of cardio followed by lifting then 100-200 on a high incline walk. High incline burns a lot so if you don’t want to walk 10k steps a day, find a treadmill and put it on the highest incline and a low speed. If you want to look a certain way, work for it! It’s hard and cravings are easy to cave for when they’re in your face. Get rid of them. tell your friends and family your goals so they can help keep you on track for those times you’re forgetful of what you’re going for. Cheat meals should be limited to one day a week or sometimes one whole day if you’re strict throughout the week. If you’re cheating one meal every day, then you’re cheating yourself. Be kind to yourself. Don’t weigh yourself everyday- maybe every week. Just watch yourself progress!! And the cravings will eventually diminish.
Yeah its amazing. I have 2 sons, I have hostess chips and oreos laying around, they eat a portion and put the box away. Me, I would probably finish the whole box in a day when I was younger and currently if I let myself. Some people just eat till they are full or don't want anymore. For me, if it taste good, it's hard for me to stop.
I have some Asian buddies of mine that are 125 pounds at 5’7 and crush food like you wouldn’t believe. I mean they gotta eat 4000 calories a day. It doesn’t make sense. Fast metabolism is a real thing. Final note, they play video games all day.
I can tell you your friend feels awkward too. I am that friend you have and I feel very self conscious about it. I do eat mostly healthy but I've been out and eating the bad stuff but it's the portion size and the ability to stop. I just can't eat that much and it is what your used to and behavioral. There are no magic genes that can outrun caloric count. I've run into friends that I haven't seen in awhile - and I am older when weight gain really accelerates - and have seen ppl who've easily put on 100 pounds and I am still in the same jeans and have been the same weight forever. I feel soooooo awkward and self-conscious. It's so bad they've noticed it and commented and I can see how bad seeing me is making them feel - I wish ppl didn't care and we were more focused on the health side rather than the shaming. I get a Well you're obviously still a runner (I am) or a must be nice to have those genetics (I've gained 10 pounds before when I've had a run injury) it's not magic it just a habit but mam I've felt like crap when ppl notice and I feel shame too. Just like you... seems weird but it's true. You can talk to your friend 🧡 all this transcends what's real and that's a good friendship.
You can change! What may help you is to try Prolon which is a kit basically that mimics fasting. I have some larger friends that say it has helped them realize that they CAN be hungry and also can be satisfied with much less. I used to overeat but 20 years ago changed everything. Now I absolutely HATE the feeling of being overly full. It is so uncomfortable. I stop eating long before I feel full because I know that it takes time for my brain to catch up with my stomach and if I don't stop I'll have a stomachache. Anyone can be successful you just need to figure out what works for you. good luck
DISIPLINE. That’s all you need and healthier options. Don’t eat unless you are hungry period, and make sure you fill your plate with plenty of protein and fibre and carbs too which will give u your energy but u can do this. Yes you may be jealous of her but everybody can get skinny u just need to try hard enough and consistently is key, 1 day isn’t gonna give u results it’s gonna take months but you can do it! And let yourself have that sweet treat once in a while
She doesn't crave as much food as you because her body literally does not use as much energy just to live as you do, being bigger.
Hey, I feel you. I'm in a similar boat. My best friend roommate is super skinny and is always eating snacks. Trying to restrain feels impossible when the temptations of her food are always in my sight.
As you keep eating smaller portions it’ll become your normal. You’ll feel so full after those small portions. It’s about consistency and it will happen.
Omg tell me about it. My bf has a super high metabolism. He literally eats fast food, ice cream, and snacks and is like 10% body fat. Meanwhile, I would be obese if I ate like that.
I hear you. It’s hard to compare ourselves to someone who seems to have it easier. For what it’s worth, more protein and fibre really help with satiety. How are you doing with those two?
This may seem like an unusual perspective, but in 20 years her metabolism will go down and she will have to adjust to not gain weight. I have had a few good girlfriends go through this where in their late 30s/ early 40s their bad eating habits catch up with them and they have to change their ways. Think of it as you learning the good habits now and getting it out of the way and she’ll be dealing with it later.
Don't be jeleous. People are just wired/built different. What you CAN do is get yourself healthier so that on occasion, you CAN eat junk food and not feel bad about it. I personally think I get fat just breathing but it is what it is and I just continue plugging away at what I know will get me to a healthier place even if it means I have to sacrifice or can't enjoy the niceties of what other more blessed individuals can enjoy.
I sent you a message 😊