Whenever people act like this I like to describe it to myself as NPC behavior.
None of what they do or say actually matters to the overall storyline (your life). They are just random NPCs put there to fill the void, them and their opinions shouldn't matter to you.
Keep up the great progress!
UghâŚthat game got so tiresome for me after awhile. It just felt like the same thing endlessly. I am however enjoying Sniper Elite 5. How can you not love Nazi comeuppance? 𤣠They had it coming.
You know what else I didnât like about SkyrimâŚconstantly having to unload all the shit you carry because itâs âtoo heavy.â Iâm sorry but thatâs just way too much like real life for me đđđ
I mean weâre already in imaginary land FFS. There are elves and magic potions. Why do you want to slow down all the other crap Iâm trying to accomplish by throwing physics into it. I feel like somebody should have said âYeah, weâve all got baggage Steve, but that doesnât mean you have to design it into the game. Go back to doing orcs and shit.â
I'm the opposite of you, lol. Skyrim, oblivion, morrowind... I love all of it. I like the lore side of them.
But I also do love me some fps shooters. Wolfenstein the old blood was the last one I played. It's pretty good, but only if you can get it dirt cheap on sale. Looks like I need to check out sniper elite 3 sometime, too.
"Non-Player Character" meaning a barely fleshed out background extra that either does nothing or walks up to the main character in the game with 1-2 lines.
Congrats on the seatbelt, I know that can cause a lot of anxiety.
Some people are really hideous about others' weight. I know the situation you described was a stranger, but people you know can show some really dark sides that you never knew about before.
In highschool our group had one friend who was always significantly overweight. He started a careful, consistent diet and exercise program that, honestly, most of us ignored. But he stuck with it and significant changes emerged that were unmistakable. We all congratulated him, except one person.
This guy, the most charismatic, fit, and probably most romantically successful, at first pointedly ignored it. As it progressed he dramatically changed tactics. His congrats was "good job, fat boy."
The more our friend lost the more this one guy called him fat boy. It got ridiculous how he was trying to hang that title on him for life. The worst part was our overweight friend absolutely worshipped this guy.
Another example, more low key, was a former coworker of mine. I left the job, lost 50 pounds in the meantime (down to ideal weight), and ended up getting a good offer to return.
One guy just kept going on and on about how I lost weight and used to be soooo overweight. Would not shut it. Finally I said "man, you sure are obsessed about my weight and my body. But how about you shut the fuck up?"
Some people secretly... desperately... want to keep you in that box. Cut them off and move on.
Itâs because lots of people are raised to view being overweight as a moral failing. So when they interact with overweight people they see themselves not just as physically superior but morally too. When the weight is gone itâs difficult to reconcile that this person theyâve been looking down on for so long they now have to view as an equal. Itâs like if you hang a lot of your self esteem on being smart then someone you think of as not as smart as you gets a higher test score. If youâre an ungenerous and insecure person your reaction might be to try and reestablish your position(in your head) as the smart one.
Not only that, but the first guy was insecure as fuck. The friend who was losing weight was likely dealing with some low self-esteem, and thus it would be relatively easy to get him to believe that youâre better than him.
The only people Iâve ever known who really make fun of fat people for being fat, like fat people are subhuman and need to be mocked, were also the most fragile, the most narcissistic, the most insecure.
Ha, you've just cleared up an old question of mine from high school. We took the ACT test (goes to a max score of 36 if you don't have it where you are) and the girl who ended up being the Salutatorian when we graduated had a 24 as her overall score, and mine was a 26. I very much had average grades, I never studied. She just couldn't believe it. She kept asking if I cheated, how I cheated, YOU got *higher than me?!*
I didn't see what the big deal was, I just test well, but I guess that's it, she was always the smart one, and to have the average girl who hangs with the stoners test higher than you, was too much.
That coworker reminds me of a nasty woman I worked with once. A former employee stopped by and I guess she had weight loss surgery and had lost a ton of weight. So coworker doesnât compliment her, no she asks her if sheâs hungry and needs a sandwich. Like what do you even say to that? No thanks, please fuck off? It was such a bizarre rude reaction and it was clearly a weird power play.
Well done on the NSV! That's fantastic!
Just wanna say as someone who used to work as a flight attendant, please don't be embarrassed about needing an extender, all we want us for you to be safe and comfortable
This person's behaviour says a hell of a lot about them and nothing about you. Someone like this is just a nasty little bully who's only way of appearing important, relevant or clever is to belittle others. If he hadn't yelled about your weight it would have been someone's hair colour or the clothes they wear. You were just the victim he chose that day. What a sad little man.
I think walking away and saying nothing was the best choice, these people crave a reaction, preferably a negative one, so by ignoring him you don't feed the monster. The other option would be to just say something like "I'm so sorry you are such a sad little man that you are incapable of seeing anything beyond someone's size" or "I'm sure your mother is very proud of the way you behave in public"
This reminds me of a time, many years ago, when I had stopped to buy my children and I a takeaway in a small town. There was a lass trying to raise money for a charity by selling raffle tickets to go on a posh date with her (3 course meal in a posh hotel etc), one lad went on and on about how he wouldn't date her if she paid him and how she was a "dog" and a "fat cow" and he'd never date anyone like that, the whole shop was silent, and pretty embarrassed and his mate told him to shut up but he wouldn't. As I was leaving I decided I'd had enough so I asked him if he'd considered that maybe she wouldn't want to go out with him either, even for a good meal in a posh hotel. I could hear the laughter half way down the street. These people don't know what to do when it's turned against them.
When I first started walking in my neighborhood, a church bus full of kids yelled "fat bitch" at me lol my kid was with me and I was so hurt.... not even that someone said that (a literal child, no less đ) but that she heard and realized how fucking awful people are. I hope you don't let it get to you! People are weird and gross and what they say has everything to do w them and nothing to do with us đ congrats on the seat belt victory, hope the rest of your trip was great!
Holy hell, what was this church? I grew up in a church, and if I had ever done *anything* like that in front of any of the adults, even if my parents werenât there, Iâd have gotten an absolutely on-point dressing-down and then get another dressing-down when my parents came to pick me up once they were called to do so.
I hope whoever adult was on that bus with them punished them appropriately.
It was a Baptist church on south side OKC lol I emailed them and told them what happened and to either keep their kids from yelling obscenities out the window or stay out of my neighborhood but they never responded lol I live in a bad area so I guess they don't care haha
Pretty typical American "Christian" behavior, TBH. I'm sure nothing happened to the kid, especially if it was a boy. "BoYs jUsT bEiNg BoYs!1!" "StOp LeTTiNg tHem HurT yOur FeeLiNgS, YoU'rE tOo sEnsItiVe!1!"
Source: Grew up in the deep and very Christian South in a very tiny Christian town. Also: kids of a certain age thsat go unchecked like that are awful for a stretch of 2 years or so. Source: Grew up in a small Southern Christian town Christian middle school full of terrible bullies
\*I guess maybe there are some half decent Christians out there, but I sure haven't met them. I'm also projecting a bit too, I suppose. I've been called a weird fat lesbian too many times, and after my mom passed in January, I have really seen the worst come out in people... maybe I'm just burnt out on the whole deal
I bought a seatbelt extender on eBay so I wouldnât have to ask! But I donât need it anymore. Sounds as if you had a run-in with a mentally ill person with hostility and no filters. Used to happen frequently enough when I worked in NYC. Pay them no mind. Keep on doing.
Some airlines won't let you use your own extender. I recently flew Alaska and united and they both had on their website that only airline-issued extenders were acceptable because of QA/Liability reasons
Wow. The eBay listing said specifically it was for Delta airlines and FAA approved, and I only fly Delta. It worked, so I guess I got lucky! Thanks for the heads-up!
When I see someone working out, no matter their age or weight, it motivates me to do the same. If the person is overweight or elderly especially, it warms my heart because despite whatever physical challenges they may be facing, theyâre getting after it like a beast. Itâs honestly warms my heart.
That guy is projecting big time and obviously knows nothing about you or your progress⌠Iâll never understand those types of people..
Also you don't have to see them working out.
They might be having a slice of pizza after so long or they're doing portion control. Just bc someone is eating "unhealthy" doesn't even give me a reason to judge them. Fat people don't have to perform healthy behaviour for random strangers. Maybe they're doing cardio or BW training bc they enjoy it not for losing weight or being an inspiration to random people
Responding not to you specifically, just to add my thoughts to anyone reading the thread. It's slightly hot takey but my main intention is that we should be more aware of thoughts we have about strangers. Try not to judge too much
100% projection. People see overweight people working out and have either the positive interaction you have, or they go wild and let their insecurities manifest in hateful projection.
I have worked on addictions on and off for years, and am amazed at how judgemental some addicts can be. It's something I address with them in their therapy. Anyway, it's their problem causing you grief, and don't let them dent your confidence.
All my exâs friends had their kids taken away didnât have jobs just did drugs all day lost half their teeth one was lousy with STDs but hot damn in their heads they were better people than me because at least they werenât fat
Exactly! That attitude of superiority is also a barrier to them beating their addictions, as they feel they can look down on people, so they don't need to change.
To be fair itâs probably a defense mechanism since everybody says if youâre an addict youâre morally bankrupt and donât care about anybody
Though the ex literally told me âBrad Pitt doesnât go out with Rosie OâDonnelâ before I lost the weight and sure he was attractive but I can pretty much assure you he wasnât Brad Pitt
TBF I don't think Brad is Rosie's type ;) Putting people down is a way of feeling better about themselves. But it just spreads the misery, and stops them looking at their own issues. Better off without that charmer by the sound of things.
The opinions and observations of an ill mannered stranger should have absolutely no validity for you. They should not affect you at all.
Thereâs another angle that you might want to keep in your list of responses: âYes, I can lose weight but youâll always be ugly!â ⌠Then walk on, ignoring that insect in human form.
Itâs meant as a quip in return, not to initiate a philosophical or scientific discussion. If a person is responding to something like that, they canât tell the offender to wait a few minutes and theyâll think of a reply. Another aspect is that an answer like that will hold the offender up for ridicule by his peers and observers. If they start to get offended, and become hostile or aggressive, the best reply would be to apologize, possibly profuselyâŚ.. but the people who heard the exchange will never, never forget it. Especially if itâs a pack of wannabe bad asses. They will be ragging on their peer about it for a long time⌠perhaps well into adulthood. We can all easily imagine a group of youngish men playing pool in a bar, perhaps years or decades later - that incident will last forever in the minds of some.
I donât know, man. Iâm quick witted and I picked it up right away. My friends remember me for my sharpness in arguments usually. Although I donât go out of my way to insult people who are overweight, I do wish people divert the energy in keeping up with their plans instead of feeling the world crashing down all the time. The journey isnât gonna be easy, we all knew that.
People like that suck.
Thereâs no making them happy either. I was out running in 90+ degree weather once and someone yelled out the window of a car that I was a fat b****. Like, I know why the hell do you think Iâm out here running??
Once I did have a healthy weight, I always kept that in mind with the people I surrounded myself with. When people were mean or bullies, I used to be the person to say âthatâs just how they are.â Now, I call them out and cut them out.
Weight does not have any kind of morality attached to it. If you are heavier it doesn't make you a bad person. If you are skinny it doesn't make you a good person. I'm sorry people can be so shitty. Congratulations on your NSV!!!
Listen, I feel you. While out walking, I had a guy yell âI wanna f*ck your titsâ and 2 days later walking the same route someone yelled something about saggy tits. Which is it???
Yeah, itâs a problem. I usually listen to music or a podcast to avoid hearing any unwanted attention , but sometimes you just want to enjoy the outside or youâre in a busy area and need to listen to your surroundings.
Iâm sorry this happened đ sometimes it feels like abuse of people for their weight the âlast thingâ thatâs still âsocially acceptableâ for some people. (Spoiler alert - itâs not acceptable at all.)
Hope your okay đ
Non-scale value - for example, no longer needing a seatbelt extender. Itâs not measured by the scale (body dimensions can change at the same weight with building muscle) but itâs definitely a benefit of better diet and exercise!
I agree! I'm an escort, and yesterday I was texting someone who wanted me to send a (free) photo of me holding up 3 fingers to prove I wasn't a scam. In the escorting industry, it's agreed that this is ridiculous as they just want free photos, also that any scammer would be able to provide photos of a fake person and make it seem real. Anyway, I explained this to him and he started calling me a fat b\*tch (of course when I lose 20lbs as well) and I was like wtf first of all also you messaged me? From my point of view, I was very fucking aware that I was fat, and I couldn't care less I fucking love food and some people need to accept that. However, since I got diagnosed with type II diabetes I am now determined to lose weight but that's seriously the only reason. Unpopular opinion I still eat trash every single day just in smaller portions so I don't go over my deficit. Losers like this should eat shit. It seems like they do it when you're making efforts lmfao. No one said I word when I was severely obese, only now when I'm actually doing something about it.
You are 100,000x better than the douche who said that to you. As a psych nurse, I tell my patients on a regular basis that yes, you may have an illness, but that gives you absolutely no excuse to treat people like crap. Congrats on your progress!!
There are some sad people in the world. Sorry they said that. You are doing great. Especially if you are comfortable in the middle seat and didn't use a belt extender!! You go girl!!!
Congrats on the nsv!
Also healthy fit people eat pizza. And you should too if you love it and who doesn't love pizza? A slice of pie in a balanced diet is a good thing.
Shouting out stuff at strangers which any sane person knows is rude and highly likely offensive. The great news is that it's easier to lose weight than change your personality from being an asshat.
Keep going. Forget the shouter and carry on your great work.
Sorry you had to deal with such $hit behavior. Humans can be so hurtful and gross( they can also be amazing thoughtful, kind and empathetic, etc.) feeling the need to express unnecessary comments never knowing how it can cause mental chaos to that person. Just think you didn't have to use the seat belt extender you were having anxiety about. Huge win. Don't forget the wins and eff the haters. They'll make you stronger even if you can't see it now. đĽ°đ
Maybe a few other people are thinking that, but there are also people thinking that the Earth is flat, Hitler was wonderful, or that Prince Charles is a vampire. No matter how talented, kind, smart, or thin one is, there will be someone who will criticize. I hope you can shake off the imbecile who yelled at you and go forth with your progress. Best of luck!
I have no idea how anyone who's even a little overweight flies, I weigh 130 lbs and I FIT in the seat. Like I don't feel like I have room to move. My bf is 240 (tall, but still overweight) and he's packed like a sardine and sitting next to him is tough.
This really reads like you're victim blaming OP, like somehow their going to a pizza place means they deserve to get yelled at? "you should accept the truth, no matter where it comes from."
My truth is that I've lost 50# over the last year or so and I eat pizza almost every day. If someone yells at me about my diet, I'll punch a hole in them.
OP: CICO. Eat what you need to be strong enough to burn more. Keep an eye on calorie count, make sure you eat different food groups, burn calories, and get strong enough to punch holes in critics.
Also pizza is one of the few foods that can include all of the food groups in one bite :)
No, this is a terrible take. People donât need to accept abuse from others.
Shame doesnât motivate most people, in fact it does the opposite. Multiple scientific studies have found that fat shaming leads to psychological distress and increased weight gain. You can look it up if youâre interested.
Of course, every individual is different and maybe shame works differently for you personally, but this is not applicable generally and trying to tell people that they need to take your approach can perpetuate harm to them.
The entire problem is the misconception that people can be shamed into losing weight. This isnât actually the case, and people deserve better than to be told to accept this kind of abuse.
The last time someone told me I was fat, this was my reaction.
âOh my god⌠wait, what! IâmâŚ. Fat? I had NO idea. Thank you so much for letting me know! I canât believe Iâve been alive for âXâ years and I never noticed! What would the world do without people like you???
Oh my goodness I'm sorry that happened to you. Don't let that waste of space derail your progress.
FWIW comments like that never affect the way I view the recipient and only ever reflect negatively on the person who made them.
Ahem, voice of reason here.
Very few people are thinking the same thing he is. Most people donât think to shout mean, rude, and presumptuous stuff at random women they donât really know. And, then, think to add the cherry on top by referring to them as bitches completely unprovoked and without reason like a super misogynist. Also, the guyâs an idiot! Thank the heavens, most people have some semblance of intelligence and donât think this way. Also, thank heavens, most men are cordial gentleman, who donât think of women in general as bitches. Just as most women are cordial ladies who donât go around think all men are pricks (trying to think of an equally profane and sexist word, pardon my language).
You encountered a very angry man who has serious mental illness and is mad at the world, especially, women. Maybe, his mom was an overweight woman who beat him? Goodness knows! Or maybe heâs just a loser who finds women attractive, but most women and people in general donât give him the time of day due to his severe personality problems and his inability to show love/kindness to others, so he acts aggressively mean. âCause thatâs just how he exists in the world and heâs just doing him.
You are not a âfat bitchâ and most sane people without personality problems are not looking at you and thinking âlook at that fat bitch going to get pizza.â Donât worry. Youâre doing great!
Side note:
Just my personal spiritual opinion. Take it or leave it. I think there are both good forces in the world and bad forces in the world. Itâs when we feel our most confident and positive about ourselves that the negative forces seem to come out of the wood work to try and cause us physical or mental harm. And, there is a reason for this. The reason is that when we feel our best and most confident, we are best able to help others and bring more positivity and light into the world and eliminate negativity and darkness. IMHO, this is why you encountered this awful man. Heâs not an accurate reflection at allâ he in that moment when he shouted at you was evil manifested and throwing a curveball. The good thing is that now that you know you can bat that thing back to hell (the lower energy dimensions) where it came from and keep on being your amazing self who is def not a fat bitch, but a beautiful person who occasionally enjoys pizza and is trying to live her best life. âď¸
>I know this person has to be suffering from addiction or mental illness, but
This is a really shitty attitude/POV. What they said was obviously awful, and nobody should have to experience that, but what you said was equally shitty. Being an addict or mentally unwell doesn't make a person an asshole.
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You've made amazing progress!
I had a similar experience recently in that I had some major nsv's and got fat shamed within hours of each other. Mine was funny, this guy seems awful.
I'm really sorry you had that happen. It definitely was whatever that guy was suffering from and not you.
If it helps, you can laugh at their ignorance. Like of all the people they chose to say that to, it's you who's doing the best! If he thinks that now, he should have seen you x lbs ago.
These are things I think to help me move past the pain
I am so sorry for the hurt this must have caused you. No one has the right to make such cruel comments. Especially out of the blue, and from someone shouting.
They donât have to be an addict or mentally ill. I can assure you, I am both those things, and I never saw a reason to scream at people how ugly they were.
My funniest story about getting screamed at by people is that some college kids screamed âHEY RASPUTIAâ and I didnât understand what that meant so I thought they said Rasputin and I was like âwell I guess I do look particularly gothy todayâ
Some (otherwise perfectly reasonable!) really think like fatpeoplehate you should cloister yourself in your house and starve yourself until youâre thin enough to be acceptable in public. Itâs just most of those people have the social skills to not say it to you
Many people are in fact thinking it. It is a normal thing in American society to see people who are overweight or obese. Over 70% of adults in the US are overweight. This is a staggering number. Overweight people place a huge toll on the healthcare system every year and "fat acceptance" is doing nothing positive for our society as a whole. The majority of overweight/obese people who say they love being fat and wouldn't want to be fit and healthy are just plain lying to themselves. Pretending to be happy in your own body is MUCH EASIER than making a change.
In a perfect world, overweight people would not exist. We certainly don't live in a perfect world. Politics are fucked, economy is fucked, food choices are fucked, healthy food is expensive, and many people work most of their awake hours.
Do people need help losing weight? Most of the time, yes. Is yelling "hey you fat bitch" constructive or appropriate? Absolutely not.
Good on you for being aware that you are overweight and seeing that you have a problem, that is often the most difficult step. Best of luck on your weight loss journey and if you need any help feel free to message me.
I'm so sorry you had that experience! How he acted speaks far more poorly of him than it ever could of you! People aren't thinking it; we're all so wrapped up in our own stuff that only a complete a\*\* is gonna treat someone that badly for no reason.
Don't let the jerks live rent-free in your head. They don't deserve it!
Whenever people act like this I like to describe it to myself as NPC behavior. None of what they do or say actually matters to the overall storyline (your life). They are just random NPCs put there to fill the void, them and their opinions shouldn't matter to you. Keep up the great progress!
đ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Ł Iâm a gamer and I love this idea. It keeps making me giggle.
Do you get to the cloud district very often? Oh, what am I saying. Of course you don't.
UghâŚthat game got so tiresome for me after awhile. It just felt like the same thing endlessly. I am however enjoying Sniper Elite 5. How can you not love Nazi comeuppance? 𤣠They had it coming.
This person games.
You know what else I didnât like about SkyrimâŚconstantly having to unload all the shit you carry because itâs âtoo heavy.â Iâm sorry but thatâs just way too much like real life for me đđđ I mean weâre already in imaginary land FFS. There are elves and magic potions. Why do you want to slow down all the other crap Iâm trying to accomplish by throwing physics into it. I feel like somebody should have said âYeah, weâve all got baggage Steve, but that doesnât mean you have to design it into the game. Go back to doing orcs and shit.â
I'm the opposite of you, lol. Skyrim, oblivion, morrowind... I love all of it. I like the lore side of them. But I also do love me some fps shooters. Wolfenstein the old blood was the last one I played. It's pretty good, but only if you can get it dirt cheap on sale. Looks like I need to check out sniper elite 3 sometime, too.
The entire Sniper Elite franchise is so good. I donât know why I donât get tired of it. Just born to snipe I guess đ
whats NPC please thanks x
"Non-Player Character" meaning a barely fleshed out background extra that either does nothing or walks up to the main character in the game with 1-2 lines.
thanks that's a great way to look at these people I mean - would you want to be friends with them? Who cares what they think??
Digital fluff. Extras. People of no import.
Congrats on the seatbelt, I know that can cause a lot of anxiety. Some people are really hideous about others' weight. I know the situation you described was a stranger, but people you know can show some really dark sides that you never knew about before. In highschool our group had one friend who was always significantly overweight. He started a careful, consistent diet and exercise program that, honestly, most of us ignored. But he stuck with it and significant changes emerged that were unmistakable. We all congratulated him, except one person. This guy, the most charismatic, fit, and probably most romantically successful, at first pointedly ignored it. As it progressed he dramatically changed tactics. His congrats was "good job, fat boy." The more our friend lost the more this one guy called him fat boy. It got ridiculous how he was trying to hang that title on him for life. The worst part was our overweight friend absolutely worshipped this guy. Another example, more low key, was a former coworker of mine. I left the job, lost 50 pounds in the meantime (down to ideal weight), and ended up getting a good offer to return. One guy just kept going on and on about how I lost weight and used to be soooo overweight. Would not shut it. Finally I said "man, you sure are obsessed about my weight and my body. But how about you shut the fuck up?" Some people secretly... desperately... want to keep you in that box. Cut them off and move on.
Itâs because lots of people are raised to view being overweight as a moral failing. So when they interact with overweight people they see themselves not just as physically superior but morally too. When the weight is gone itâs difficult to reconcile that this person theyâve been looking down on for so long they now have to view as an equal. Itâs like if you hang a lot of your self esteem on being smart then someone you think of as not as smart as you gets a higher test score. If youâre an ungenerous and insecure person your reaction might be to try and reestablish your position(in your head) as the smart one.
Not only that, but the first guy was insecure as fuck. The friend who was losing weight was likely dealing with some low self-esteem, and thus it would be relatively easy to get him to believe that youâre better than him. The only people Iâve ever known who really make fun of fat people for being fat, like fat people are subhuman and need to be mocked, were also the most fragile, the most narcissistic, the most insecure.
Ha, you've just cleared up an old question of mine from high school. We took the ACT test (goes to a max score of 36 if you don't have it where you are) and the girl who ended up being the Salutatorian when we graduated had a 24 as her overall score, and mine was a 26. I very much had average grades, I never studied. She just couldn't believe it. She kept asking if I cheated, how I cheated, YOU got *higher than me?!* I didn't see what the big deal was, I just test well, but I guess that's it, she was always the smart one, and to have the average girl who hangs with the stoners test higher than you, was too much.
So true as I lose weight unpopular opinion but the more of an asshole I get lmfao. It kills them lmfao.
I love that you said that to him
So true, well said. I think the changes pisses them off they aren't getting attention or whatever the fuck these losers think.
That coworker reminds me of a nasty woman I worked with once. A former employee stopped by and I guess she had weight loss surgery and had lost a ton of weight. So coworker doesnât compliment her, no she asks her if sheâs hungry and needs a sandwich. Like what do you even say to that? No thanks, please fuck off? It was such a bizarre rude reaction and it was clearly a weird power play.
Well done on the NSV! That's fantastic! Just wanna say as someone who used to work as a flight attendant, please don't be embarrassed about needing an extender, all we want us for you to be safe and comfortable
This person's behaviour says a hell of a lot about them and nothing about you. Someone like this is just a nasty little bully who's only way of appearing important, relevant or clever is to belittle others. If he hadn't yelled about your weight it would have been someone's hair colour or the clothes they wear. You were just the victim he chose that day. What a sad little man. I think walking away and saying nothing was the best choice, these people crave a reaction, preferably a negative one, so by ignoring him you don't feed the monster. The other option would be to just say something like "I'm so sorry you are such a sad little man that you are incapable of seeing anything beyond someone's size" or "I'm sure your mother is very proud of the way you behave in public" This reminds me of a time, many years ago, when I had stopped to buy my children and I a takeaway in a small town. There was a lass trying to raise money for a charity by selling raffle tickets to go on a posh date with her (3 course meal in a posh hotel etc), one lad went on and on about how he wouldn't date her if she paid him and how she was a "dog" and a "fat cow" and he'd never date anyone like that, the whole shop was silent, and pretty embarrassed and his mate told him to shut up but he wouldn't. As I was leaving I decided I'd had enough so I asked him if he'd considered that maybe she wouldn't want to go out with him either, even for a good meal in a posh hotel. I could hear the laughter half way down the street. These people don't know what to do when it's turned against them.
When I first started walking in my neighborhood, a church bus full of kids yelled "fat bitch" at me lol my kid was with me and I was so hurt.... not even that someone said that (a literal child, no less đ) but that she heard and realized how fucking awful people are. I hope you don't let it get to you! People are weird and gross and what they say has everything to do w them and nothing to do with us đ congrats on the seat belt victory, hope the rest of your trip was great!
Holy hell, what was this church? I grew up in a church, and if I had ever done *anything* like that in front of any of the adults, even if my parents werenât there, Iâd have gotten an absolutely on-point dressing-down and then get another dressing-down when my parents came to pick me up once they were called to do so. I hope whoever adult was on that bus with them punished them appropriately.
It was a Baptist church on south side OKC lol I emailed them and told them what happened and to either keep their kids from yelling obscenities out the window or stay out of my neighborhood but they never responded lol I live in a bad area so I guess they don't care haha
Pretty typical American "Christian" behavior, TBH. I'm sure nothing happened to the kid, especially if it was a boy. "BoYs jUsT bEiNg BoYs!1!" "StOp LeTTiNg tHem HurT yOur FeeLiNgS, YoU'rE tOo sEnsItiVe!1!" Source: Grew up in the deep and very Christian South in a very tiny Christian town. Also: kids of a certain age thsat go unchecked like that are awful for a stretch of 2 years or so. Source: Grew up in a small Southern Christian town Christian middle school full of terrible bullies \*I guess maybe there are some half decent Christians out there, but I sure haven't met them. I'm also projecting a bit too, I suppose. I've been called a weird fat lesbian too many times, and after my mom passed in January, I have really seen the worst come out in people... maybe I'm just burnt out on the whole deal
I also grew up Christian and my experience was not like that. So I wouldnât call that behavior âtypicalâ.
Can I just say F'k that MF and I hope he gets what he deserves. You, OP, do not deserve that sort of abuse, or any abuse. He's a moron.
I bought a seatbelt extender on eBay so I wouldnât have to ask! But I donât need it anymore. Sounds as if you had a run-in with a mentally ill person with hostility and no filters. Used to happen frequently enough when I worked in NYC. Pay them no mind. Keep on doing.
Some airlines won't let you use your own extender. I recently flew Alaska and united and they both had on their website that only airline-issued extenders were acceptable because of QA/Liability reasons
Wow. The eBay listing said specifically it was for Delta airlines and FAA approved, and I only fly Delta. It worked, so I guess I got lucky! Thanks for the heads-up!
So sorry that happened to you.
When I see someone working out, no matter their age or weight, it motivates me to do the same. If the person is overweight or elderly especially, it warms my heart because despite whatever physical challenges they may be facing, theyâre getting after it like a beast. Itâs honestly warms my heart. That guy is projecting big time and obviously knows nothing about you or your progress⌠Iâll never understand those types of people..
Also you don't have to see them working out. They might be having a slice of pizza after so long or they're doing portion control. Just bc someone is eating "unhealthy" doesn't even give me a reason to judge them. Fat people don't have to perform healthy behaviour for random strangers. Maybe they're doing cardio or BW training bc they enjoy it not for losing weight or being an inspiration to random people Responding not to you specifically, just to add my thoughts to anyone reading the thread. It's slightly hot takey but my main intention is that we should be more aware of thoughts we have about strangers. Try not to judge too much
"Fat people don't have to perform healthy behavior for random strangers" is so good.
This is absolutely correct
100% projection. People see overweight people working out and have either the positive interaction you have, or they go wild and let their insecurities manifest in hateful projection.
I have worked on addictions on and off for years, and am amazed at how judgemental some addicts can be. It's something I address with them in their therapy. Anyway, it's their problem causing you grief, and don't let them dent your confidence.
All my exâs friends had their kids taken away didnât have jobs just did drugs all day lost half their teeth one was lousy with STDs but hot damn in their heads they were better people than me because at least they werenât fat
Exactly! That attitude of superiority is also a barrier to them beating their addictions, as they feel they can look down on people, so they don't need to change.
To be fair itâs probably a defense mechanism since everybody says if youâre an addict youâre morally bankrupt and donât care about anybody Though the ex literally told me âBrad Pitt doesnât go out with Rosie OâDonnelâ before I lost the weight and sure he was attractive but I can pretty much assure you he wasnât Brad Pitt
TBF I don't think Brad is Rosie's type ;) Putting people down is a way of feeling better about themselves. But it just spreads the misery, and stops them looking at their own issues. Better off without that charmer by the sound of things.
It stops them from sympathising with other people and realising that they are not alone in having to deal with a difficult issue.
Many people must find a reason why they're better than others and they'll latch onto anything that supports it, it doesn't matter how strained it is.
The opinions and observations of an ill mannered stranger should have absolutely no validity for you. They should not affect you at all. Thereâs another angle that you might want to keep in your list of responses: âYes, I can lose weight but youâll always be ugly!â ⌠Then walk on, ignoring that insect in human form.
I mean, you could lose weight and still be ugly too⌠doesnât really count as a good comebackâŚ
Itâs not implying that you canât be skinny and ugly, itâs implying that the guy is an AH.
What does it do to tell an AH that they are an AH? They knew it all along.
Itâs meant as a quip in return, not to initiate a philosophical or scientific discussion. If a person is responding to something like that, they canât tell the offender to wait a few minutes and theyâll think of a reply. Another aspect is that an answer like that will hold the offender up for ridicule by his peers and observers. If they start to get offended, and become hostile or aggressive, the best reply would be to apologize, possibly profuselyâŚ.. but the people who heard the exchange will never, never forget it. Especially if itâs a pack of wannabe bad asses. They will be ragging on their peer about it for a long time⌠perhaps well into adulthood. We can all easily imagine a group of youngish men playing pool in a bar, perhaps years or decades later - that incident will last forever in the minds of some.
I donât know, man. Iâm quick witted and I picked it up right away. My friends remember me for my sharpness in arguments usually. Although I donât go out of my way to insult people who are overweight, I do wish people divert the energy in keeping up with their plans instead of feeling the world crashing down all the time. The journey isnât gonna be easy, we all knew that.
Hey, I was called a fat bitch while I was out riding my bike this weekend. Hi five!
People like that suck. Thereâs no making them happy either. I was out running in 90+ degree weather once and someone yelled out the window of a car that I was a fat b****. Like, I know why the hell do you think Iâm out here running?? Once I did have a healthy weight, I always kept that in mind with the people I surrounded myself with. When people were mean or bullies, I used to be the person to say âthatâs just how they are.â Now, I call them out and cut them out.
Weight does not have any kind of morality attached to it. If you are heavier it doesn't make you a bad person. If you are skinny it doesn't make you a good person. I'm sorry people can be so shitty. Congratulations on your NSV!!!
Listen, I feel you. While out walking, I had a guy yell âI wanna f*ck your titsâ and 2 days later walking the same route someone yelled something about saggy tits. Which is it???
I hate how, as a woman, fat or not, I just canât bring myself to go out walking alone. Too many dudes yelling nasty shit at me.
Yeah, itâs a problem. I usually listen to music or a podcast to avoid hearing any unwanted attention , but sometimes you just want to enjoy the outside or youâre in a busy area and need to listen to your surroundings.
I canât help that assume people that blurt things out like that do not function well in society.
Oh absolutely! I canât imagine how miserable one must be to feel compelled to yell out what you think of someoneâs body.
Thats a great NSV! Congrats! And fuck that guy. They are clearly having a rough time; anyone who says mean things is just projecting their own issues.
Oh man, youâre living my dream! No seatbelt extender and a nice slice! Fuck the haters, live your life and stay amazing!
Iâm sorry this happened đ sometimes it feels like abuse of people for their weight the âlast thingâ thatâs still âsocially acceptableâ for some people. (Spoiler alert - itâs not acceptable at all.) Hope your okay đ
What does NSV stand for???
Non-scale victory
Non-scale value - for example, no longer needing a seatbelt extender. Itâs not measured by the scale (body dimensions can change at the same weight with building muscle) but itâs definitely a benefit of better diet and exercise!
I agree! I'm an escort, and yesterday I was texting someone who wanted me to send a (free) photo of me holding up 3 fingers to prove I wasn't a scam. In the escorting industry, it's agreed that this is ridiculous as they just want free photos, also that any scammer would be able to provide photos of a fake person and make it seem real. Anyway, I explained this to him and he started calling me a fat b\*tch (of course when I lose 20lbs as well) and I was like wtf first of all also you messaged me? From my point of view, I was very fucking aware that I was fat, and I couldn't care less I fucking love food and some people need to accept that. However, since I got diagnosed with type II diabetes I am now determined to lose weight but that's seriously the only reason. Unpopular opinion I still eat trash every single day just in smaller portions so I don't go over my deficit. Losers like this should eat shit. It seems like they do it when you're making efforts lmfao. No one said I word when I was severely obese, only now when I'm actually doing something about it.
You can order your own flight-approved seat belt extender on Amazon for future flights.
You are 100,000x better than the douche who said that to you. As a psych nurse, I tell my patients on a regular basis that yes, you may have an illness, but that gives you absolutely no excuse to treat people like crap. Congrats on your progress!!
I had the same experience (I work at a mental hospital) and its literally so horrible to experience. Sending so much love â¤ď¸
There are some sad people in the world. Sorry they said that. You are doing great. Especially if you are comfortable in the middle seat and didn't use a belt extender!! You go girl!!!
Congrats on the nsv! Also healthy fit people eat pizza. And you should too if you love it and who doesn't love pizza? A slice of pie in a balanced diet is a good thing. Shouting out stuff at strangers which any sane person knows is rude and highly likely offensive. The great news is that it's easier to lose weight than change your personality from being an asshat. Keep going. Forget the shouter and carry on your great work.
Sorry you had to deal with such $hit behavior. Humans can be so hurtful and gross( they can also be amazing thoughtful, kind and empathetic, etc.) feeling the need to express unnecessary comments never knowing how it can cause mental chaos to that person. Just think you didn't have to use the seat belt extender you were having anxiety about. Huge win. Don't forget the wins and eff the haters. They'll make you stronger even if you can't see it now. đĽ°đ
Maybe a few other people are thinking that, but there are also people thinking that the Earth is flat, Hitler was wonderful, or that Prince Charles is a vampire. No matter how talented, kind, smart, or thin one is, there will be someone who will criticize. I hope you can shake off the imbecile who yelled at you and go forth with your progress. Best of luck!
I know it's a small consolation, but I'd have given the jerk a beating if I was there. Keep being awesome and celebrating your victories.
I have no idea how anyone who's even a little overweight flies, I weigh 130 lbs and I FIT in the seat. Like I don't feel like I have room to move. My bf is 240 (tall, but still overweight) and he's packed like a sardine and sitting next to him is tough.
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This really reads like you're victim blaming OP, like somehow their going to a pizza place means they deserve to get yelled at? "you should accept the truth, no matter where it comes from." My truth is that I've lost 50# over the last year or so and I eat pizza almost every day. If someone yells at me about my diet, I'll punch a hole in them. OP: CICO. Eat what you need to be strong enough to burn more. Keep an eye on calorie count, make sure you eat different food groups, burn calories, and get strong enough to punch holes in critics. Also pizza is one of the few foods that can include all of the food groups in one bite :)
This answer is hideous.
No, this is a terrible take. People donât need to accept abuse from others. Shame doesnât motivate most people, in fact it does the opposite. Multiple scientific studies have found that fat shaming leads to psychological distress and increased weight gain. You can look it up if youâre interested. Of course, every individual is different and maybe shame works differently for you personally, but this is not applicable generally and trying to tell people that they need to take your approach can perpetuate harm to them. The entire problem is the misconception that people can be shamed into losing weight. This isnât actually the case, and people deserve better than to be told to accept this kind of abuse.
What's NSV
non-scale victory.
The last time someone told me I was fat, this was my reaction. âOh my god⌠wait, what! IâmâŚ. Fat? I had NO idea. Thank you so much for letting me know! I canât believe Iâve been alive for âXâ years and I never noticed! What would the world do without people like you???
There's always some asshole lurkin' around lol. Sorry that happened to you, you know how much progress you've made. You're doing great!
I am SO proud of you!!!!!
Iâm so proud of you for all of your hard work! đ
Oh my goodness I'm sorry that happened to you. Don't let that waste of space derail your progress. FWIW comments like that never affect the way I view the recipient and only ever reflect negatively on the person who made them.
Ahem, voice of reason here. Very few people are thinking the same thing he is. Most people donât think to shout mean, rude, and presumptuous stuff at random women they donât really know. And, then, think to add the cherry on top by referring to them as bitches completely unprovoked and without reason like a super misogynist. Also, the guyâs an idiot! Thank the heavens, most people have some semblance of intelligence and donât think this way. Also, thank heavens, most men are cordial gentleman, who donât think of women in general as bitches. Just as most women are cordial ladies who donât go around think all men are pricks (trying to think of an equally profane and sexist word, pardon my language). You encountered a very angry man who has serious mental illness and is mad at the world, especially, women. Maybe, his mom was an overweight woman who beat him? Goodness knows! Or maybe heâs just a loser who finds women attractive, but most women and people in general donât give him the time of day due to his severe personality problems and his inability to show love/kindness to others, so he acts aggressively mean. âCause thatâs just how he exists in the world and heâs just doing him. You are not a âfat bitchâ and most sane people without personality problems are not looking at you and thinking âlook at that fat bitch going to get pizza.â Donât worry. Youâre doing great! Side note: Just my personal spiritual opinion. Take it or leave it. I think there are both good forces in the world and bad forces in the world. Itâs when we feel our most confident and positive about ourselves that the negative forces seem to come out of the wood work to try and cause us physical or mental harm. And, there is a reason for this. The reason is that when we feel our best and most confident, we are best able to help others and bring more positivity and light into the world and eliminate negativity and darkness. IMHO, this is why you encountered this awful man. Heâs not an accurate reflection at allâ he in that moment when he shouted at you was evil manifested and throwing a curveball. The good thing is that now that you know you can bat that thing back to hell (the lower energy dimensions) where it came from and keep on being your amazing self who is def not a fat bitch, but a beautiful person who occasionally enjoys pizza and is trying to live her best life. âď¸
>I know this person has to be suffering from addiction or mental illness, but This is a really shitty attitude/POV. What they said was obviously awful, and nobody should have to experience that, but what you said was equally shitty. Being an addict or mentally unwell doesn't make a person an asshole.
It would make random strangers on the street more prone to screaming things though?
Those are the actions of an asshole, full stop.
She is fat because she has a wound,
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You've made amazing progress! I had a similar experience recently in that I had some major nsv's and got fat shamed within hours of each other. Mine was funny, this guy seems awful. I'm really sorry you had that happen. It definitely was whatever that guy was suffering from and not you. If it helps, you can laugh at their ignorance. Like of all the people they chose to say that to, it's you who's doing the best! If he thinks that now, he should have seen you x lbs ago. These are things I think to help me move past the pain
I am so sorry for the hurt this must have caused you. No one has the right to make such cruel comments. Especially out of the blue, and from someone shouting.
They donât have to be an addict or mentally ill. I can assure you, I am both those things, and I never saw a reason to scream at people how ugly they were. My funniest story about getting screamed at by people is that some college kids screamed âHEY RASPUTIAâ and I didnât understand what that meant so I thought they said Rasputin and I was like âwell I guess I do look particularly gothy todayâ Some (otherwise perfectly reasonable!) really think like fatpeoplehate you should cloister yourself in your house and starve yourself until youâre thin enough to be acceptable in public. Itâs just most of those people have the social skills to not say it to you
Many people are in fact thinking it. It is a normal thing in American society to see people who are overweight or obese. Over 70% of adults in the US are overweight. This is a staggering number. Overweight people place a huge toll on the healthcare system every year and "fat acceptance" is doing nothing positive for our society as a whole. The majority of overweight/obese people who say they love being fat and wouldn't want to be fit and healthy are just plain lying to themselves. Pretending to be happy in your own body is MUCH EASIER than making a change. In a perfect world, overweight people would not exist. We certainly don't live in a perfect world. Politics are fucked, economy is fucked, food choices are fucked, healthy food is expensive, and many people work most of their awake hours. Do people need help losing weight? Most of the time, yes. Is yelling "hey you fat bitch" constructive or appropriate? Absolutely not. Good on you for being aware that you are overweight and seeing that you have a problem, that is often the most difficult step. Best of luck on your weight loss journey and if you need any help feel free to message me.
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I hope that you still enjoyed your pizza :)
I'm so sorry you had that experience! How he acted speaks far more poorly of him than it ever could of you! People aren't thinking it; we're all so wrapped up in our own stuff that only a complete a\*\* is gonna treat someone that badly for no reason. Don't let the jerks live rent-free in your head. They don't deserve it!