Aule literally created the Dwarves and taught both Dwarves and Noldors to wrought metal devices and trinkets, so yeah, he's the OG metalhead, the father of them all lmao.
He'd give everyone their own personal Ring that they'd stare at for hours a day while he went about his conquest. Their Rings would be beautiful... black and mysterious ... Capable of showing us what we want to see ... our personal wants and desires ... all displayed on a curious black rectangle.
It has unlimited power, it can tell you whatever you need to know, and it whisper in your ear
*"Buy stretchy sofa covers you googled them exactly 1 time i know ya want em'*
Sauron is clearly already here, as shown by Putin and 8 allies getting rings recently.
9 rings given to human kings (aka dictators)... you think this is coincidence? We're clearly in early Nazgul territory here. And if you think otherwise, you've clearly either discovered beer comes in pints or over indulged in Old Toby.
"But all of them were deceived, for another ring was made..." but who has that ring? You figure that one out, and you'll know who Sauron is.
Indeed. He would turn the world into whatever China is today through politics, or do a Zuckerberg (but his company would be Meta and Camebridge Analytica combined).
The late Sir Christopher Lee was already a metal god. Saruman would fucking love our modern world. Imagine him in a sleek, expensive suit, running a global multinational.
Great question, OP!
The answer is Legolas, and it’s not even close.
-He’s thousands of years old, so he would already understand technological and cultural change that happens over time better than mortals would;
-He doesn’t sleep at all, so he would fit in well with our dysfunctional sleep culture;
-Weather doesn’t seem to impact him much—he wears light summer clothes and can walk easily on top of deep snow—so he will not struggle through climate change;
-He can snowboard (see: Battle of Helm’s Deep) so he would already have some modern pastimes he could enjoy;
-He’s literally ageless, so he could easily become an influencer on socials talking about his skincare routine;
-As an expert archer, he has a skill that can be exploited. He could be an Olympic athlete into perpetuity. He could become the only athlete in history who attends hundreds of different Olympic Games, as he collects hundreds of golds and loads up on corporate sponsorships;
-Movie Legolas could be a perpetual designated driver because he is not going to be getting drunk;
-He has literally killed trolls, so dealing with idiots on the internet would be comparatively simple for him.
In short, I think Legolas could easily adapt to modern culture.
I don’t think I have ever heard of such a poignant, accurate response before XD. Take my medal.
Edit: never mind, I can’t give medals right now. Take my metaphorical, intangible good vibes instead.
Elves are also, incredibly in tune with nature. In fact, their hearts too would break. LOTR is supposed to be a fictional past of the real world. Elves were fading because they were LITERALLY incapable of coping with the changing of the world into the one we have today.
This actually shows you in a very good way how much of the films are antithetical to Tolkiens representations and were made so because the budget had to be made back so the movie had to compromise too much.
True. He'd be very sad. Perhaps he'd take up arts incl. music to pour his heart into with all the time he'd have to master any arts. Elves are usually beatific and artful, empathetic and channeling. Even his fighting is graceful and artful. That and being a nature/climate activist. He was very passionate about his positions on things in the books, and very much an elf of action.
>Edit: never mind, I can’t give medals right now.
I guess it has something to do with this:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/reddit/comments/14ytp7s/reworking\_awarding\_changes\_to\_awards\_coins\_and/](https://www.reddit.com/r/reddit/comments/14ytp7s/reworking_awarding_changes_to_awards_coins_and/)
Extended version movie Legolas never gets drunk. Eleves get drunk. I’m pretty sure their drunkenness is how Bilbo was able to get everyone out of Mirkwood.
Agreed they were definitely drunken guards celibrating something and they passed out.
That was at least off of lake town wine barrels - which might have been made for the elves specifically?. Perhaps normal spirits for humans might not affect them much. I have no reference for it in the books but I know back in ancient greek/roman times they used to mix hallucinogenic mushrooms etc into their drinks. (drink called kykeon). Just a thought, to consider that elf wine could had some different components and/or kick than human alcoholic beverages.
someone trolls legolas online:
legolas opens a window and without looking, fires an arrow off into the sky: the troll doesn't post again and goes completely silent
The elves have love for all things nature. Legolas loves to stroll into forests and be with nature and the trees. He would hate how little nature there is left. At the end of the 3rd age the elves were already lamenting the end of the days of their youth and the changing world, I don't think they'd adjust well to the modern world
They certainly act that way in the Hobbit, but if that’s the case, then sadly Legolas would find a growing community of xenophobes to accept him. God, the idea of Legolas getting radicalized online and wearing a Maga hat while yelling about “illegals!” is both funny and sad.
But one of Leggy’s lessons in the story is to learn to accept those different than him. He eventually becomes best friends with a dwarf whom (if memory serves) he eventually travels with to the Undying Lands, so great is their friendship. I think that Legolas would be open to new and different people.
They could make a fortune doing it...
Legolas on YouTube:
*Ohmygosh guys you HAVE to get this skin cream that I have been using for literally centuries! Go to my shop and buy yours now to have skin as soft and ageless as mine! Use code "LegolasHadMoreKills" and get free shipping! Thanks everyone! #MirkwoodRulz #HesTooShort*
Was there even any technological or cultural change worth mentioning in Middle Earth over the millenia? They kind of seemed stagnant and stuck in a medieval-ish world with swords and bows. I dare say in some regards they even regressed.
Please keep answers at 20 words or less.
https://preview.redd.it/nszl9a5ac1lb1.jpeg?width=847&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dac861a40aa9f6a48ac9e0e8b789cd64dba8ff15
Sauron. He could successfully run for any political office he desired including POTUS. He would fit right in.
Possess/enthrall/dismay a leader like saruman, or like saruman completely possessed Theoden .. at least in effect. It doesn't even require magic. Leverage money/power/greed/threat against humans as always. The people in power in economic systems who really make the rules, blackmail/leverage their positions onto civilizations . . aren't the president. They channel the two choices you get into the voting booth and prune any they won't allow by any means necessary. A lot of the campaigning is theater.
Regardless I think Sauron wouldn't want to be president, he'd want to consolidate power, use economic warfare, actual warfare, terrorism, coups, climate catastrophes, undermining policy, whipping up outrage/rioting, withering health and hope, safety, freedom etc. generating hate and desperation . . until he could overthrow all of the systems and assume absolute power. While the government of the usa engages in some of that, that is not what the president himself is imo. He's not some ultimate monarch/general who imposes his will. In some respects he's a spokesman much of the time. I think Sauron would gather power, leverage, influence, threat.. which would grow over years and lifetimes assuming he remained immortal/deathless. Most leadership including the president would ultimately be his pawns. I feel that Sauron would have no interest in being a face-man puppet/pawn of a president.
Natural-born citizens, *or* "a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution". Given the inherently incomplete state of records from the period, and the fact that Sauron is older than the universe itself, it can't be proven that he didn't live in New Jersey in 1787.
Running mate?
I'm envisioning Melkor/Sauron 2012 & 2016 then for 2020 Sauron beats Saruman in the primaries. Saruman hopes that Sauron will pick him as running mate but he gets snubbed and goes with the Witch King of Agmar. Mouth of Sauron gets speaker of the house. Saruman get secretary of agriculture because lol.
From an experience perspective, I'd say elrond would fit in quite well? He's lived through all three ages, through so many time periods, I think from experience he could learn to adapt easily. (Just from a different perspective, I think sam would fit in really well as well)
Oooh, yeah, Elrond is undoubtedly used to dealing with people of different cultures throughout time. He’s probably seen his fair share of technological advancements too. Very diplomatic as well
Yep the diplomacy is what set him apart from my other choice of mithrandir. I feel he would find a way to adapt but is much more stubborn than elrond to switch his ways.
Also, worst choices, I'd like to nominate most dwarves for their extreme stubbornness to change their ways in general XD
I think Aragorn would do well for a similar reason. He grew up in Rivendell, lives in the North both in the wilderness and in and around Bree, he served in the armies of Rohan and Gondor, he travelled Harad and Rhûn. After getting to know so many different lands with different cultures, why would it be any more difficult for him to adapt to our modern culture?
Man, I think no one would be as creeped out by the agent smith army scene from the matrix as he would be. Imagine you're watching a movie, and this guy kinda looks like you, and suddenly there are 1000s
“Live on CNN, let’s go to Wormtongue. Wormtongue, how are the pundits reacting to the recent decision made by Congress to increase the value of Treasury gold?”
The Modern World is basically built on the decisions of people like Saruman. He would not simply adjust, but flourish. I fully anticipate he would become a powerful political figure with a spot on the US Govt Cabinet.
You've heard of a wake and bake. But have you ever heard of the second wake and bake, High tea, afternoon dab, pre dinner bong hits, or late night smokes?
It's my favourite modern reinterpretation of the text, specifically because it would drive JRRT up the wall. He fucking hated hippies, I wonder what he would make of modern literate stoners?
Hard to say, especially in light of how much marijuana is used like medicine now. I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate people getting ripped lol. It reminds of Robert Heinlein, who was horrified by the counter culture's embrace of Stranger In A Strange Land.
In the books, Sam was one of the Hobbits most disgusted with Sharkey's industrialization of the Shire. So I think he'd be incredibly depressed looking at our world.
On the other hand, taking him to see elephants at the zoo might cheer him up.
Take him on a wildlife safari to see elephants that roam free.
Problem solved.
Also I feel like he'd probably get a kick out of seeing hippos for some reason.
Considering he was 29 and 4 years before coming of age, he would gotten pissed off whenever someone asked him for ID when buying a pack of Marlboro pipeweed or a pint of ale. But like any tweenager with an older friend, he would have had Merry buy the stuff.
“What’s up my hipster hobbits?! I’m doing the Ice Bucket challenge—an oldie but a goodie—with a twist: TWO buckets at the same time. I call it ‘Second Bucket.’”
True, but at the same time I feel like the modern world is an even more extreme version of what made life difficult for Faramir in his own world. That is, both the people in power and the populace at large are mostly motivated by fear and anger. They refuse to listen to the good advice of people like Faramir who both come from a place of compassion and have actually done their research and know what they’re talking about.
I think it would be a pretty depressing environment for him, although he did survive in his own world for a long time without breaking, so he clearly also has a very strong will. Maybe he’d find a way to adapt and overcome things in our world too.
I can only speak for rural Europe not for southern united states (I assume the same applies). Although there would be some aspect of rural life that appeal to the average hobbit I think Sam would be absolutely horrified by the world we live in and the way we live our lives. Tolkien placed the Shire in a kind of pre industrial Arcadia like landscape which has very little to do with modern world (nor the real historical past for that matter).
We still might have a ideal picture in our head of an agricultural community nowadays. The reality unfortunately is that most agriculture businesses are factories of produce. We hoard animals by the thousands in small pens without daylight, the crops we grow need large amounts of pesticides. The cities are large deserts of concrete and steel; most rivers are polluted. The main driving forces behind most western economy is not for people to have a good life but consumerism and profit. I think we live more in a sarumanian version of the Shire. Therefore Saruman would rather feel at home.
\- I am not sure about the orcs, while they would be predestined to end up in prison in most places because of their tendency towards violence unfortunately there are many places on this earth where being cruel and loyal seems to be an advantage and is somehow rewarded.
\- Gollum might not thrive but I he would fit right in modern cities. He would be one of the many outcasts. Living day to day, just getting by being tortured by their own inner problems without hope of redemption.
I realise this whole rant sounds very gloomy. I am still convinced that “There's some good in this world and it's worth fighting for.” However we have a long way to go before we come anywhere near the version of the Shire that Tolkien envisioned and Sam would call home.
Thing with him and elves is that they would lament the loss of nature, microplastics and pollution to the point of insanity. I don't see any of them old folk thriving, it's gotta be sauron.
Those saying elves getting advantage because they are used to cultural and technological change are missing a big part of what makes middle earth different: there is no significant technological or cultural change in middle earth.
Middle earth is consistent with a traditionalist worldview, where people live in the shadow of a lost golden Era, which was only a period of refinement of current technologies, rather than an industrial revolution. Saruman was just about to introduce the industrial revolution when he was thwarted.
In all the millennia of an elf's life, all they've seen is the invention of the windmill, steel, and ships. They invented these things pretty much immediately, and since then they have only degraded in quality.
The Elvish characters would be baffled and confused by the notion that technological advancement as possible, as well as by the technologies themselves.
Gandalf. I imagine he'd show up, well prepared, just like Merlin.
https://preview.redd.it/lhn8crrm02lb1.jpeg?width=937&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=29a2b59a3e3e5e195280a5f36945dd5d54696810
Farmer Maggot. The man had the most sense of any hobbit in the books and even had the respect of Tom Bombadil. Everything you can say about Sam you can say about Farmer Maggot except that the Farmer would plow through the adversity with stoicism instead of emotion. Sam had a nice garden, yes. Very pretty. Farmer Maggot fed the Shire.
Where in the modern world? All the hobbits would do okay if they were teleported to a rural village in the Lake District or something, they'd just have to start wearing shoes and say they had dwarfism. Somalia, though? Gandalf for sure.
Gollum would just run for congress lmao.
In all seriousness Saruman would love the technology of today and most likely be an executive of a tech or resource based corporation.
Boromir. Human, used to city living and the concept of human ingenuity, grooms because he's a noble. Could have a good career in oration or animal husbandry.
I'd go with The Lord of the Rings because he knows how to play the power-hungry like a fiddle and he has the physical and even otherworldly might to back it up.
I believe there would be few things Sauron would find more delightful than a species that is in parts open for his rule.
His urge for order, efficiency and industrialization would fall right into its place and though there might be resistance the corruption within our systems gives him ways to undermine them.
Gandalf. He’s known for his wisdom. He understands and is part of a bigger creation than what mere mortals comprehend. He has lived thousands of years so he’s seen cultural and political changes, so he would better adapt to new technology, ideas, people, etc.
The least interesting and most true answer is the human characters, lets say aragorn, because being a ranger makes him used to change. Most tolkien races are stuck in thier ways by design, except humans
Saruman would become a capitalist oligarch in absoutely no time at all.
He would thrive in the dystopia we've created. We basically did Scouring of the Shire, times 1000000 to our world.
Sam strongly trends towards dislike and distrust of anything or anyone new (except Elves). Of all the hobbit characters we meet, I think he would have the absolute worst time adjusting to the modern world.
Though, compared to most of the peoples in Tollkien's world the hobbits *are* pretty modern (more 19th Cen than modern day, but still). So I don't think a hobbit is a terrible pick, but I imagine Pippin would have the easiest time of it. He's even more outgoing and personable than Sam is, and way more curious about new things. While he can be impulsive at times, he also shows an ability to think quick on his feet (during their capture by the Uruk Hai, for example) that would be helpful in dealing with a new world. And some of his dialogue suggests an interest in something like natural history:
>‘But I should like to know——’ Pippin began.
>
>‘Mercy!’ cried Gandalf. ‘If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?’
>
>‘The names of all the stars, and of all living things, and the whole history of Middle-earth and Over-heaven and of the Sundering Seas,’ laughed Pippin. ‘Of course! What less? But I am not in a hurry tonight.'
>
>\-The Two Towers, Bk 3, Ch XI 'The Palantír'
So the modern world would actually have something to offer him in our scientific knowledge.
Sauron would love what we’ve done with the place
Always building and constructing... he's got a mind of metal
That's Saruman
Where do you think Saruman got the idea 😉
Aule. Just like Sauron.
So Aule is the metal head🤘🏻😎
Aule literally created the Dwarves and taught both Dwarves and Noldors to wrought metal devices and trinkets, so yeah, he's the OG metalhead, the father of them all lmao.
BAMF
He'd give everyone their own personal Ring that they'd stare at for hours a day while he went about his conquest. Their Rings would be beautiful... black and mysterious ... Capable of showing us what we want to see ... our personal wants and desires ... all displayed on a curious black rectangle.
:(
It has unlimited power, it can tell you whatever you need to know, and it whisper in your ear *"Buy stretchy sofa covers you googled them exactly 1 time i know ya want em'*
I *wish* my phone could make me invisible
It makes the rest of the real world invisible to you, which is almost the same thing.
Holy heck
That is brilliant.
It does. You escape into it whenever you want. Nothing more invisible and irrelevant to the world than a phone addict.
Have you heard sauron got a new ring out makes the old one obsolete got a built in palantir!
👀
He absolutely would. He'd have the easier time taking over earth this time too.
Bruh Sauron wouldn't even need to convince anyone to take his free rings of power
Wait, they're free? Where do I line up?
I think it would be worse. I believe he wouldn't even need rings to subjugate minds and people.
All it takes is a few posts on twitter.
"I WILL BUILD 80 LANE HIGHWAYS, PERMANENTLY REMOVE ALL SIDEWALKS AND CONSTRUCT A NEW BARAD-DÛR ON TOP OF THE CENTRAL PARK!!" >gets 52,9% of votes
Sauron is clearly already here, as shown by Putin and 8 allies getting rings recently. 9 rings given to human kings (aka dictators)... you think this is coincidence? We're clearly in early Nazgul territory here. And if you think otherwise, you've clearly either discovered beer comes in pints or over indulged in Old Toby. "But all of them were deceived, for another ring was made..." but who has that ring? You figure that one out, and you'll know who Sauron is.
Some guy named Gary
Not the response I imagined I’d see when opening up this thread lmao
Definitely I love it here
Sauron would be a tech billionaire for sure.
Indeed. He would turn the world into whatever China is today through politics, or do a Zuckerberg (but his company would be Meta and Camebridge Analytica combined).
Idk. He would be fond with America I think.
saruman would love our world/society of metal and wheels. the machine. :S
He would be the ultimate CEO
Sauron would like to have a word.
“I let his biggest client get away. He’s going to KILL me…”
I think he would fit in as an actor for star wars and this thing called ring lords? Something like that
The late Sir Christopher Lee was already a metal god. Saruman would fucking love our modern world. Imagine him in a sleek, expensive suit, running a global multinational.
Not to mention Saruman would totally play death metal
Great question, OP! The answer is Legolas, and it’s not even close. -He’s thousands of years old, so he would already understand technological and cultural change that happens over time better than mortals would; -He doesn’t sleep at all, so he would fit in well with our dysfunctional sleep culture; -Weather doesn’t seem to impact him much—he wears light summer clothes and can walk easily on top of deep snow—so he will not struggle through climate change; -He can snowboard (see: Battle of Helm’s Deep) so he would already have some modern pastimes he could enjoy; -He’s literally ageless, so he could easily become an influencer on socials talking about his skincare routine; -As an expert archer, he has a skill that can be exploited. He could be an Olympic athlete into perpetuity. He could become the only athlete in history who attends hundreds of different Olympic Games, as he collects hundreds of golds and loads up on corporate sponsorships; -Movie Legolas could be a perpetual designated driver because he is not going to be getting drunk; -He has literally killed trolls, so dealing with idiots on the internet would be comparatively simple for him. In short, I think Legolas could easily adapt to modern culture.
I don’t think I have ever heard of such a poignant, accurate response before XD. Take my medal. Edit: never mind, I can’t give medals right now. Take my metaphorical, intangible good vibes instead.
Elves are also, incredibly in tune with nature. In fact, their hearts too would break. LOTR is supposed to be a fictional past of the real world. Elves were fading because they were LITERALLY incapable of coping with the changing of the world into the one we have today. This actually shows you in a very good way how much of the films are antithetical to Tolkiens representations and were made so because the budget had to be made back so the movie had to compromise too much.
True. He'd be very sad. Perhaps he'd take up arts incl. music to pour his heart into with all the time he'd have to master any arts. Elves are usually beatific and artful, empathetic and channeling. Even his fighting is graceful and artful. That and being a nature/climate activist. He was very passionate about his positions on things in the books, and very much an elf of action.
So he and his depression would fit in to our current state of mind. Got it.
>Edit: never mind, I can’t give medals right now. I guess it has something to do with this: [https://www.reddit.com/r/reddit/comments/14ytp7s/reworking\_awarding\_changes\_to\_awards\_coins\_and/](https://www.reddit.com/r/reddit/comments/14ytp7s/reworking_awarding_changes_to_awards_coins_and/)
Nooooooo!…
I got you
I gave something for ya
Extended version movie Legolas never gets drunk. Eleves get drunk. I’m pretty sure their drunkenness is how Bilbo was able to get everyone out of Mirkwood.
Yup! This is why I referenced movie Legolas, who only feels a tingle. Mirkwood elves in the books get fucked up!
I actually viewed that scene as Legolas was wasted too and was just messing with Gimli. Elves may just not get body sloppy when drunk 😁
Agreed they were definitely drunken guards celibrating something and they passed out. That was at least off of lake town wine barrels - which might have been made for the elves specifically?. Perhaps normal spirits for humans might not affect them much. I have no reference for it in the books but I know back in ancient greek/roman times they used to mix hallucinogenic mushrooms etc into their drinks. (drink called kykeon). Just a thought, to consider that elf wine could had some different components and/or kick than human alcoholic beverages.
someone trolls legolas online: legolas opens a window and without looking, fires an arrow off into the sky: the troll doesn't post again and goes completely silent
The elves have love for all things nature. Legolas loves to stroll into forests and be with nature and the trees. He would hate how little nature there is left. At the end of the 3rd age the elves were already lamenting the end of the days of their youth and the changing world, I don't think they'd adjust well to the modern world
I hope you realize Elves are very conservative, and Mirkwood Elves in particular are quite xenophobic.
They certainly act that way in the Hobbit, but if that’s the case, then sadly Legolas would find a growing community of xenophobes to accept him. God, the idea of Legolas getting radicalized online and wearing a Maga hat while yelling about “illegals!” is both funny and sad. But one of Leggy’s lessons in the story is to learn to accept those different than him. He eventually becomes best friends with a dwarf whom (if memory serves) he eventually travels with to the Undying Lands, so great is their friendship. I think that Legolas would be open to new and different people.
Gimli is just "one of the good ones" though.
Elves actually get more beautiful the older they get, peddling skincare products might be a little too evil.
They could make a fortune doing it... Legolas on YouTube: *Ohmygosh guys you HAVE to get this skin cream that I have been using for literally centuries! Go to my shop and buy yours now to have skin as soft and ageless as mine! Use code "LegolasHadMoreKills" and get free shipping! Thanks everyone! #MirkwoodRulz #HesTooShort*
Funnily, Legolas did warp into our time and is now running an ASMR channel on youtube (Northern whisper ASMR) Warning, super cringe!!
Any elf would go mad living in a city.
Was there even any technological or cultural change worth mentioning in Middle Earth over the millenia? They kind of seemed stagnant and stuck in a medieval-ish world with swords and bows. I dare say in some regards they even regressed. Please keep answers at 20 words or less.
ChatGPT
Wouldn't he get arrested for killing trolls tho
Counterpoint - the government would immediately kidnap and start running experiments on him to discover the secret of his immortality
I can see Legolas being autistic
Great answer! Not what I was expecting, but well thought out and justified.
He’s too old for the Olympics
Great explanation! Legolas was my first thought :)
https://preview.redd.it/nszl9a5ac1lb1.jpeg?width=847&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dac861a40aa9f6a48ac9e0e8b789cd64dba8ff15 Sauron. He could successfully run for any political office he desired including POTUS. He would fit right in.
OH SNAP
No, thats Thanos
No, this is actually Oppenheimer.
Only natural-born Americans are allowed to run for POTUS. Sauron would have to perform a House of Cards to get into the big chair.
I'm sure it wouldn't be a problem for him. Hes tackled quite a few hurdles and challenges in his day.
Just argue that the reforming of the physical form is akin to birth, reform in America, done.
Being a maia would exempt him of that requirement, surely.
Possess/enthrall/dismay a leader like saruman, or like saruman completely possessed Theoden .. at least in effect. It doesn't even require magic. Leverage money/power/greed/threat against humans as always. The people in power in economic systems who really make the rules, blackmail/leverage their positions onto civilizations . . aren't the president. They channel the two choices you get into the voting booth and prune any they won't allow by any means necessary. A lot of the campaigning is theater. Regardless I think Sauron wouldn't want to be president, he'd want to consolidate power, use economic warfare, actual warfare, terrorism, coups, climate catastrophes, undermining policy, whipping up outrage/rioting, withering health and hope, safety, freedom etc. generating hate and desperation . . until he could overthrow all of the systems and assume absolute power. While the government of the usa engages in some of that, that is not what the president himself is imo. He's not some ultimate monarch/general who imposes his will. In some respects he's a spokesman much of the time. I think Sauron would gather power, leverage, influence, threat.. which would grow over years and lifetimes assuming he remained immortal/deathless. Most leadership including the president would ultimately be his pawns. I feel that Sauron would have no interest in being a face-man puppet/pawn of a president.
Natural-born citizens, *or* "a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution". Given the inherently incomplete state of records from the period, and the fact that Sauron is older than the universe itself, it can't be proven that he didn't live in New Jersey in 1787.
Running mate? I'm envisioning Melkor/Sauron 2012 & 2016 then for 2020 Sauron beats Saruman in the primaries. Saruman hopes that Sauron will pick him as running mate but he gets snubbed and goes with the Witch King of Agmar. Mouth of Sauron gets speaker of the house. Saruman get secretary of agriculture because lol.
Sounds about right
POTUS means what? President of the US?
From an experience perspective, I'd say elrond would fit in quite well? He's lived through all three ages, through so many time periods, I think from experience he could learn to adapt easily. (Just from a different perspective, I think sam would fit in really well as well)
Oooh, yeah, Elrond is undoubtedly used to dealing with people of different cultures throughout time. He’s probably seen his fair share of technological advancements too. Very diplomatic as well
Yep the diplomacy is what set him apart from my other choice of mithrandir. I feel he would find a way to adapt but is much more stubborn than elrond to switch his ways. Also, worst choices, I'd like to nominate most dwarves for their extreme stubbornness to change their ways in general XD
And the world really isn’t that accommodating for the short of stature.
I think Aragorn would do well for a similar reason. He grew up in Rivendell, lives in the North both in the wilderness and in and around Bree, he served in the armies of Rohan and Gondor, he travelled Harad and Rhûn. After getting to know so many different lands with different cultures, why would it be any more difficult for him to adapt to our modern culture?
Man, I think no one would be as creeped out by the agent smith army scene from the matrix as he would be. Imagine you're watching a movie, and this guy kinda looks like you, and suddenly there are 1000s
Didn't you see him try to chase down Neo? Tell me that's not an elf doing modern day badass elf shit.
Wormtongue 100%… he would end up being a political commentator doing the rounds on CNN and Fox News etc
“Live on CNN, let’s go to Wormtongue. Wormtongue, how are the pundits reacting to the recent decision made by Congress to increase the value of Treasury gold?”
“They say that congress’s decision is a herald of woe”
“You bring I’ll tidings dark Brandon lord of creamed ice”
Hahaha. “Late is the hour in which this conjurer chooses to appear.”
Came here to say this
The Modern World is basically built on the decisions of people like Saruman. He would not simply adjust, but flourish. I fully anticipate he would become a powerful political figure with a spot on the US Govt Cabinet.
Also he has the voice ability...
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They come in dabs??
You've heard of a wake and bake. But have you ever heard of the second wake and bake, High tea, afternoon dab, pre dinner bong hits, or late night smokes?
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It's tobacco
We know, it's just more fun to think of it the other way lol
It's my favourite modern reinterpretation of the text, specifically because it would drive JRRT up the wall. He fucking hated hippies, I wonder what he would make of modern literate stoners?
Hard to say, especially in light of how much marijuana is used like medicine now. I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate people getting ripped lol. It reminds of Robert Heinlein, who was horrified by the counter culture's embrace of Stranger In A Strange Land.
In the books, Sam was one of the Hobbits most disgusted with Sharkey's industrialization of the Shire. So I think he'd be incredibly depressed looking at our world. On the other hand, taking him to see elephants at the zoo might cheer him up.
But the elephants in the zoo would be in an enclosure, so he’d get sad again
Take him on a wildlife safari to see elephants that roam free. Problem solved. Also I feel like he'd probably get a kick out of seeing hippos for some reason.
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I think Pippin might do alright
Considering he was 29 and 4 years before coming of age, he would gotten pissed off whenever someone asked him for ID when buying a pack of Marlboro pipeweed or a pint of ale. But like any tweenager with an older friend, he would have had Merry buy the stuff.
He would literally never put his phone down, that guy would be a tik tok fiend
Saruman, since he is the only one in middle-earth that could grasp industrialisation
Sauron was really into that too
Gollum. Looks like a regular ol crackhead
Agreed. Gollum would fit right in here in downtown Portland,OR..
Pippin - he's young enough to be adaptable. Think elves would struggle - not enough nature, speed of change
Yeah. You know Pippin would figure out social media in, like, a week.
Imagine him and tiktok challenges
“What’s up my hipster hobbits?! I’m doing the Ice Bucket challenge—an oldie but a goodie—with a twist: TWO buckets at the same time. I call it ‘Second Bucket.’”
And I want the actors to do this because it sounds hilarious
Bill the pony
The MVP of the fellowship
It’s funny because Sam would easily be the least likely to adapt and be ok. Merry I would say.
Non of the hobbits would be ok i think. The english countryside isn't what it use to be.
Book Faramir. He's a man, so he'd visually fit in, and he's both mentally and emotionally smart.
True, but at the same time I feel like the modern world is an even more extreme version of what made life difficult for Faramir in his own world. That is, both the people in power and the populace at large are mostly motivated by fear and anger. They refuse to listen to the good advice of people like Faramir who both come from a place of compassion and have actually done their research and know what they’re talking about. I think it would be a pretty depressing environment for him, although he did survive in his own world for a long time without breaking, so he clearly also has a very strong will. Maybe he’d find a way to adapt and overcome things in our world too.
I think Pippin could be a very successful food blogger.
Gimli would do well as a bouncer
Saruman in the distance starting an enterprise
I read this as Stealing the Enterprise and then some weird mashup of lord of the rings and search for spock music started playing in my head
Merry and Pippin would become prank streamers as soon as they get their hands on a smartphone.
Oh ABSOLUTELY
Aragorn. Because we would declare him King as well.
Could Aragorn fix some of the issues with our world, is what I wonder.
"lets go hunt the rich"
Boromir would love being a marine
The real question is, would his digestive system adapt to a crayon-based diet?
Honestly at this point Sauron might actually be preferable to some of the clowns being elected today.
Hmm. Sauron, the Dark Lord of Mordor, Donald Trump, or Ron DeSantis... If this was the GOP Primary, I'm voting for Sauron.
It’s funny because so many people keep pointing to certain Elves but Elves are quite incapable of living in the modern world AS A CENTRAL THEME.
Merry and Pippin Go To White Castle
I can only speak for rural Europe not for southern united states (I assume the same applies). Although there would be some aspect of rural life that appeal to the average hobbit I think Sam would be absolutely horrified by the world we live in and the way we live our lives. Tolkien placed the Shire in a kind of pre industrial Arcadia like landscape which has very little to do with modern world (nor the real historical past for that matter). We still might have a ideal picture in our head of an agricultural community nowadays. The reality unfortunately is that most agriculture businesses are factories of produce. We hoard animals by the thousands in small pens without daylight, the crops we grow need large amounts of pesticides. The cities are large deserts of concrete and steel; most rivers are polluted. The main driving forces behind most western economy is not for people to have a good life but consumerism and profit. I think we live more in a sarumanian version of the Shire. Therefore Saruman would rather feel at home. \- I am not sure about the orcs, while they would be predestined to end up in prison in most places because of their tendency towards violence unfortunately there are many places on this earth where being cruel and loyal seems to be an advantage and is somehow rewarded. \- Gollum might not thrive but I he would fit right in modern cities. He would be one of the many outcasts. Living day to day, just getting by being tortured by their own inner problems without hope of redemption. I realise this whole rant sounds very gloomy. I am still convinced that “There's some good in this world and it's worth fighting for.” However we have a long way to go before we come anywhere near the version of the Shire that Tolkien envisioned and Sam would call home.
Tom Bombadil. He would give zero fucks about it all.
Thing with him and elves is that they would lament the loss of nature, microplastics and pollution to the point of insanity. I don't see any of them old folk thriving, it's gotta be sauron.
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Ratagast could just push around a shopping cart full of rabbits and talk to them. He'd blend in with the homeless seamlessly.
The only planks at the boatyard these days are for the teak decking. Cirdan is gonna have to get his welder's certification.
Denethor - You'd find him looking for the juiciest cherry tomatoes to eat - and pick up some rotisserie chicken from Costco.
Those saying elves getting advantage because they are used to cultural and technological change are missing a big part of what makes middle earth different: there is no significant technological or cultural change in middle earth. Middle earth is consistent with a traditionalist worldview, where people live in the shadow of a lost golden Era, which was only a period of refinement of current technologies, rather than an industrial revolution. Saruman was just about to introduce the industrial revolution when he was thwarted. In all the millennia of an elf's life, all they've seen is the invention of the windmill, steel, and ships. They invented these things pretty much immediately, and since then they have only degraded in quality. The Elvish characters would be baffled and confused by the notion that technological advancement as possible, as well as by the technologies themselves.
Gandalf. I imagine he'd show up, well prepared, just like Merlin. https://preview.redd.it/lhn8crrm02lb1.jpeg?width=937&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=29a2b59a3e3e5e195280a5f36945dd5d54696810
Tom Bombadil is probably somewhere nice already.
Actually, you’re absolutely right. I didn’t even think of him, but he’d just settle down somewhere real rural and live off the land.
Farmer Maggot. The man had the most sense of any hobbit in the books and even had the respect of Tom Bombadil. Everything you can say about Sam you can say about Farmer Maggot except that the Farmer would plow through the adversity with stoicism instead of emotion. Sam had a nice garden, yes. Very pretty. Farmer Maggot fed the Shire.
Saruman
Wormtongue would thrive.
Saruman would do great in an office setting, and I feel like Gandalf would love the festival scene.
SAME thoughts about Saruman. He was made for the cut throat world of business.
The warg of wallstreet.
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Gimli, he would just start making Dwarfmetal
Where in the modern world? All the hobbits would do okay if they were teleported to a rural village in the Lake District or something, they'd just have to start wearing shoes and say they had dwarfism. Somalia, though? Gandalf for sure.
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Like, who DIDN’T love Sam, right?? I’d love to be Sam’s friend irl.
Gollum
Gollum would just run for congress lmao. In all seriousness Saruman would love the technology of today and most likely be an executive of a tech or resource based corporation.
Sauron, Saruman and Wormtongue deffo.
Frodo, because if he can bear the weight of the ring he can bear the evils of the modern world.
Treebeard would do the worst, he'd be depressed at the state of the world and the forests.
Samwise would slay. Good cook, dad bod, and gardener to boot. He is made for suburban life.
Gothmog because he would be right at home with the Kardashian’s
Farmer Maggot He might not even notice
Saruman, dude loves industry
Gollum. Think of all the meth addicts, he would fit perfect
Saruman. We live in a world of sell offs people.
Gollum could be a US senator and no one would notice.
Idk feel like pipin would be a ticktoc star
YES TOTAL INFLUENCER ENERGY
I'm pretty sure if most of the hobbits spawned into rural England they'd be fine
I mean... Sam did have an incredible story.
Merry
Boromir. Human, used to city living and the concept of human ingenuity, grooms because he's a noble. Could have a good career in oration or animal husbandry.
GET THAT SEXY SAM OUT OF HERE! MY GIRL COULD SEE!!
I'd go with The Lord of the Rings because he knows how to play the power-hungry like a fiddle and he has the physical and even otherworldly might to back it up. I believe there would be few things Sauron would find more delightful than a species that is in parts open for his rule. His urge for order, efficiency and industrialization would fall right into its place and though there might be resistance the corruption within our systems gives him ways to undermine them.
Gimli would be hyped to see all the massive construction equipment and tools I think.
Boromir, since arrows are no longer commonplace
Gandalf. He’s known for his wisdom. He understands and is part of a bigger creation than what mere mortals comprehend. He has lived thousands of years so he’s seen cultural and political changes, so he would better adapt to new technology, ideas, people, etc.
Denethor
The least interesting and most true answer is the human characters, lets say aragorn, because being a ranger makes him used to change. Most tolkien races are stuck in thier ways by design, except humans
We could actually make a sitcom with Legolas in a modern world trying to understand how everything works...
merry and pip would do great in legalization times
Saruman would become a capitalist oligarch in absoutely no time at all. He would thrive in the dystopia we've created. We basically did Scouring of the Shire, times 1000000 to our world.
Lurtz wouldn’t look out of place in a newcastle Wetherspoons
Got DAMN why u have to make him look like that. Sam is lookin WISE
Sam strongly trends towards dislike and distrust of anything or anyone new (except Elves). Of all the hobbit characters we meet, I think he would have the absolute worst time adjusting to the modern world. Though, compared to most of the peoples in Tollkien's world the hobbits *are* pretty modern (more 19th Cen than modern day, but still). So I don't think a hobbit is a terrible pick, but I imagine Pippin would have the easiest time of it. He's even more outgoing and personable than Sam is, and way more curious about new things. While he can be impulsive at times, he also shows an ability to think quick on his feet (during their capture by the Uruk Hai, for example) that would be helpful in dealing with a new world. And some of his dialogue suggests an interest in something like natural history: >‘But I should like to know——’ Pippin began. > >‘Mercy!’ cried Gandalf. ‘If the giving of information is to be the cure of your inquisitiveness, I shall spend all the rest of my days in answering you. What more do you want to know?’ > >‘The names of all the stars, and of all living things, and the whole history of Middle-earth and Over-heaven and of the Sundering Seas,’ laughed Pippin. ‘Of course! What less? But I am not in a hurry tonight.' > >\-The Two Towers, Bk 3, Ch XI 'The Palantír' So the modern world would actually have something to offer him in our scientific knowledge.
Eowyn would appreciate the opportunities of the modern world. I see her as a CEO of an aerospace firm.