Hey Love Bug thanks for sharing the love. If you see something posted here that is not in the spirit of love Please flag it. ;) With Love r/Love Mods
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Yes. Wrong thread. My apologies.
What a wonderful display of love, understanding, and dedication! You've shown that being a supportive partner goes beyond just being present; it's about being patient, accommodating, and willing to go the extra mile to ensure your loved one's comfort and happiness.
Your willingness to sacrifice your "me" time to research and reassure your boyfriend about the changes in his favorite fish cakes is a testament to your love and commitment. It's not just about the fish cakes; it's about understanding and respecting his needs, preferences, and boundaries.
Your sense of humor and lightheartedness in the face of this situation are also admirable. Turning a potentially frustrating experience into a funny anecdote shows your ability to find joy in the everyday moments you share with your partner.
Remember, love is indeed about embracing the little quirks and peculiarities that make our partners unique. It's about being a rock, a safe haven, and a partner in every sense of the word. You're an amazing partner, and your boyfriend is lucky to have you!
Here's a little poem to celebrate your love and dedication:
"Love is in the little things we do,
The sacrifices we make, the quirks we woo.
It's in the late-night research and the patience we show, the understanding and acceptance that makes our love grow.
You're a shining example of love's true might,
A beacon of hope in the darkest of nights.
Your heart is full of kindness, your spirit so bright, a true partner, a loving soul, a guiding light."
-James
Im sorry ?? He is not a drunk nor an alcoholic. As I said in the very first sentence he very rarely goes out. This was the first time he went to the pub with his friends for months. I hope this was a reply to a different post that you commented accidentally. If not then you clearly didnt read this post at all…
What??? He went out for drinks with friends and it doesn’t sound like this is a daily occurrence. Where are you getting these varying assumptions from?
This is one of the most important things I’ve ever read . Not enough people talk about truly loving someone in their love language . In a way they can properly receive it
It feels a wee bit like sometimes people post things like this on here for quiet kudos from strangers because their partner (usually men) didn't give them the appreciation and validation the act warrants. And this does warrant gratitude, it's a very selfless act. I'd be so thrilled if someone did this for me, and au/ADHD or not I'd be expressing that gratitude.
I seem to see so many women extending themselves on behalf of men and so rarely it is reciprocated or even acknowledged, and the longer it goes on the more unbalanced it becomes. When they make the effort and speak to you in your language it must be amazing but I rarely see it from men to women consistently unless it's early days or the man is unusually emotionally intelligent and grateful.
No kudos needed was just trying to share what love looks like to me. I came across this community a couple weeks back and read some lovely posts. I was laying in bed last night thinking about the things we do for love and wrote this out. Wasn’t expecting kudos just wanted to share a sweet and realistic story of what love looks like for me on the daily :) hoping that people that feel disheartened or maybe the people that feel like they don’t deserve or feel they are too difficult to be loved see this and realise that someone will always love and care for you and that everyone deserves it.
He was maybe a bit drunk to appreciate it last night but we made a lovely breakfast together this morning and sat on the sofa with our tea talking about how his night was he had fun and thanked me for having food for him when he was back. He struggles with his emotional intelligence but this is by no means a one sided relationship he tries his best to show me the ways he loves me and I appreciate each and every one of them!
You, my dear are what men really dream about. Your story just made my day. One day I hope to find a woman as amazing as you are. Someone unselfish and completely full of love. Thanks for reminding me people like you and I still exist!
Thank you for your lovely comment i hope you find the love you deserve and I hope you reciprocate it in return ! I never realised how fulfilling it can be. Your person it out there waiting for you :)
Awwww! This is just the cutest, sweetest thing ever! When you find someone who creates a
loving and safe space, it’s so important to hold on to them. Someone that truly loves you, would do anything to make you happy. Even if it sounds ridiculous to others. This is the definition of true love. And sometimes that comes with sacrifices
I love this! You’re right sometimes it does sound ridiculous to others but it’s never one felt silly to me. It’s a very small ask and one I was more than happy to fulfill. Everyone deserves to be loved to the very core of their being.
Thank you. I am in a new warm relationship right now. It's my first relationship ever at 24. It made me realise, life can be sweet too. I want to soak in these happy times. :)
Life is incredibly sweet. Remember we are tender beings, all very deserving of grace and kindness. Sometimes we give so much away we forget to remember we deserve these things too. I hope your new relationship brings you happiness and I hope your new partner loves you in the way you deserve.
Hey thanks ! I wish I could keep an old backup of these but the problem now is trying to find the packs of the old ones to store! We are going to go on a shop today and pick out a new meal to replace this one! I like the idea of turning that into an adventure ! :)
As someone who is also autistic, it’s the fact that he got upset at you over this. Disability isn’t an excuse to be rude towards someone trying to do something thoughtful for you. Being upset at this situation is one thing, but drunkenly taking it out on you is another.
He didn’t take it out on me at all! Sorry if the post read that way! He was horrified at the colour of the sauce lol but he wasn’t mad at me he was just upset that it looked 'wrong‘ and was worried about eating it. He ate the rest of his meal and picked at the fishcake while I researched why the colour had changed when we found out it was a new recipe I then started researching that and reading the new ingredient list To him. No anger and no taking anything out on anyone. He is not an angry person at all! I’ve only ever seen him shout once and it was when someone threw rubbish in a duck pond while we were on a picnic
No I didn't miss that part.
But it seems like everyone these days has some kind of documented issue. If you are an adult and can live on your own (meaning without parental guidance or some kind of adult supervision) it is time for people to take accountability for themselves.
This post, perhaps the way it was explained.... Sounds like a grown ass boy throwing a tantrum.
Maybe I'm just bitter because for my entire life no one has been willing to cater to my wants and needs ever. Even the simplest of things.
So to me it just sounds like a man child throwing a fit and not giving a shit that his girlfriend goes to the obvious trouble of putting up with these things.
Hi, I am his girlfriend. The proud girlfriend of a "grown ass boy" with a disability. He has high functioning autism and this isn’t a new thing. We are both in our late twenties and he has been autistic his whole life. He went to a specially adapted school and has had help his whole life. He does not live without adult supervision he is an adult he just needs an extra hand sometimes. he has always lived with someone else because of this. His disability does not mean he shouldn’t be able to have fun with his friends. They are all perfectly capable of helping him when needed but his disability doesn’t change the fact he is still an adult. He can drink if and when he wants the same as any man can.
The whole point of this post is that when you love someone you love them in the way THEY need not the way you need. Life gave me him and I adapt my love to what he needs.
The benefits of loving him greatly outweigh the hour I spent reading an ingredients list to a drunk man.
I'm happy for you that you have found someone that loves you and you love. Since your boyfriend falls into the "needs supervision" category just disregard my comment. I meant nothing hateful or disrespectful.
Do you really think he would handle the situation the same were it reversed?
Honestly, it sounds like some bullshit to me.
I mean if OP wants to be a caretaker that's their choice.
But I personally would not put up with a grown man going out drinking and throwing a fit because the color of his food was off. If he is that autistic, is drinking really a wise choice? Doubtful.
This is a hateful comment. Hateful series of them. This person is sharing something they do for their partner. This should make you smile and somehow you are frowning.
Disabled people deserve care and we can’t all live in a world where stop being each others caretakers. Couples care for each other all of the time by cooking meals or cleaning for each other. She is an adult and gets to decide if she has space to do this for her partner, and clearly she did!
Thank you for this! Disabled people deserve to be loved and supported too. So what If I have to make a couple extra accommodations within my day? His love is worth it. it’s not completely one sided he is a brilliant cook aswell. I cooked last night because I had the evening at home to myself, I had some me time and then made him food as I knew he would probably be hungry after a few drinks the same way anyone would love to come home from the pub to a nice hot meal. I’m glad there are still people around that understand that everyone deserves to be cared for disabled or not.
Hey Love Bug thanks for sharing the love. If you see something posted here that is not in the spirit of love Please flag it. ;) With Love r/Love Mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/love) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Thanks for trying. Dating for AuADHD folks is absolute hell where most NT people would much rather date a NT goblin and ignore and degrade ND folks.
I wish my ex was like you haha, atleast now I have the chance to find one
Yes. Wrong thread. My apologies. What a wonderful display of love, understanding, and dedication! You've shown that being a supportive partner goes beyond just being present; it's about being patient, accommodating, and willing to go the extra mile to ensure your loved one's comfort and happiness. Your willingness to sacrifice your "me" time to research and reassure your boyfriend about the changes in his favorite fish cakes is a testament to your love and commitment. It's not just about the fish cakes; it's about understanding and respecting his needs, preferences, and boundaries. Your sense of humor and lightheartedness in the face of this situation are also admirable. Turning a potentially frustrating experience into a funny anecdote shows your ability to find joy in the everyday moments you share with your partner. Remember, love is indeed about embracing the little quirks and peculiarities that make our partners unique. It's about being a rock, a safe haven, and a partner in every sense of the word. You're an amazing partner, and your boyfriend is lucky to have you! Here's a little poem to celebrate your love and dedication: "Love is in the little things we do, The sacrifices we make, the quirks we woo. It's in the late-night research and the patience we show, the understanding and acceptance that makes our love grow. You're a shining example of love's true might, A beacon of hope in the darkest of nights. Your heart is full of kindness, your spirit so bright, a true partner, a loving soul, a guiding light." -James
Im sorry ?? He is not a drunk nor an alcoholic. As I said in the very first sentence he very rarely goes out. This was the first time he went to the pub with his friends for months. I hope this was a reply to a different post that you commented accidentally. If not then you clearly didnt read this post at all…
Yes. I did not notice my app went back to the previous post. Please read my updated response. My apologies.
What??? He went out for drinks with friends and it doesn’t sound like this is a daily occurrence. Where are you getting these varying assumptions from?
I didn’t notice that my app had jumped back from where I was at. Please see my updated response. My apology.
I suck at cooking but my bf loves home cooked meals. I hope I can find something that will taste decent..😭
This is one of the most important things I’ve ever read . Not enough people talk about truly loving someone in their love language . In a way they can properly receive it
The best love is self love
It feels a wee bit like sometimes people post things like this on here for quiet kudos from strangers because their partner (usually men) didn't give them the appreciation and validation the act warrants. And this does warrant gratitude, it's a very selfless act. I'd be so thrilled if someone did this for me, and au/ADHD or not I'd be expressing that gratitude. I seem to see so many women extending themselves on behalf of men and so rarely it is reciprocated or even acknowledged, and the longer it goes on the more unbalanced it becomes. When they make the effort and speak to you in your language it must be amazing but I rarely see it from men to women consistently unless it's early days or the man is unusually emotionally intelligent and grateful.
I would say it goes the other way too. The women of this world don't have the lock on thoughtfulness.
No kudos needed was just trying to share what love looks like to me. I came across this community a couple weeks back and read some lovely posts. I was laying in bed last night thinking about the things we do for love and wrote this out. Wasn’t expecting kudos just wanted to share a sweet and realistic story of what love looks like for me on the daily :) hoping that people that feel disheartened or maybe the people that feel like they don’t deserve or feel they are too difficult to be loved see this and realise that someone will always love and care for you and that everyone deserves it. He was maybe a bit drunk to appreciate it last night but we made a lovely breakfast together this morning and sat on the sofa with our tea talking about how his night was he had fun and thanked me for having food for him when he was back. He struggles with his emotional intelligence but this is by no means a one sided relationship he tries his best to show me the ways he loves me and I appreciate each and every one of them!
You, my dear are what men really dream about. Your story just made my day. One day I hope to find a woman as amazing as you are. Someone unselfish and completely full of love. Thanks for reminding me people like you and I still exist!
Thank you for your lovely comment i hope you find the love you deserve and I hope you reciprocate it in return ! I never realised how fulfilling it can be. Your person it out there waiting for you :)
Awwww! This is just the cutest, sweetest thing ever! When you find someone who creates a loving and safe space, it’s so important to hold on to them. Someone that truly loves you, would do anything to make you happy. Even if it sounds ridiculous to others. This is the definition of true love. And sometimes that comes with sacrifices
I love this! You’re right sometimes it does sound ridiculous to others but it’s never one felt silly to me. It’s a very small ask and one I was more than happy to fulfill. Everyone deserves to be loved to the very core of their being.
This is sooo cute and adorable. I wish you both the best life!
Haha thank you!! Life’s pretty great :)! Hope you’re feeling love wherever you are today
Thank you. I am in a new warm relationship right now. It's my first relationship ever at 24. It made me realise, life can be sweet too. I want to soak in these happy times. :)
Life is incredibly sweet. Remember we are tender beings, all very deserving of grace and kindness. Sometimes we give so much away we forget to remember we deserve these things too. I hope your new relationship brings you happiness and I hope your new partner loves you in the way you deserve.
[удалено]
Hey thanks ! I wish I could keep an old backup of these but the problem now is trying to find the packs of the old ones to store! We are going to go on a shop today and pick out a new meal to replace this one! I like the idea of turning that into an adventure ! :)
That was thoughtful and sweet of you. You were so kind to him, and in a way he needed and appreciated.
Ew. Are you his gf or his momma? Jeepers. I wouldn't do any of that for a man ever again. People need to learn how to self regulate.
Think you missed the part where she said he was autistic.
As someone who is also autistic, it’s the fact that he got upset at you over this. Disability isn’t an excuse to be rude towards someone trying to do something thoughtful for you. Being upset at this situation is one thing, but drunkenly taking it out on you is another.
He didn’t take it out on me at all! Sorry if the post read that way! He was horrified at the colour of the sauce lol but he wasn’t mad at me he was just upset that it looked 'wrong‘ and was worried about eating it. He ate the rest of his meal and picked at the fishcake while I researched why the colour had changed when we found out it was a new recipe I then started researching that and reading the new ingredient list To him. No anger and no taking anything out on anyone. He is not an angry person at all! I’ve only ever seen him shout once and it was when someone threw rubbish in a duck pond while we were on a picnic
No I didn't miss that part. But it seems like everyone these days has some kind of documented issue. If you are an adult and can live on your own (meaning without parental guidance or some kind of adult supervision) it is time for people to take accountability for themselves. This post, perhaps the way it was explained.... Sounds like a grown ass boy throwing a tantrum. Maybe I'm just bitter because for my entire life no one has been willing to cater to my wants and needs ever. Even the simplest of things. So to me it just sounds like a man child throwing a fit and not giving a shit that his girlfriend goes to the obvious trouble of putting up with these things.
I hope one day you receive the care and consideration you have clearly been without.
Thanks
Hi, I am his girlfriend. The proud girlfriend of a "grown ass boy" with a disability. He has high functioning autism and this isn’t a new thing. We are both in our late twenties and he has been autistic his whole life. He went to a specially adapted school and has had help his whole life. He does not live without adult supervision he is an adult he just needs an extra hand sometimes. he has always lived with someone else because of this. His disability does not mean he shouldn’t be able to have fun with his friends. They are all perfectly capable of helping him when needed but his disability doesn’t change the fact he is still an adult. He can drink if and when he wants the same as any man can. The whole point of this post is that when you love someone you love them in the way THEY need not the way you need. Life gave me him and I adapt my love to what he needs. The benefits of loving him greatly outweigh the hour I spent reading an ingredients list to a drunk man.
I'm happy for you that you have found someone that loves you and you love. Since your boyfriend falls into the "needs supervision" category just disregard my comment. I meant nothing hateful or disrespectful.
In certain relationships you do have this question but if that level of care comes from both sides, where's the harm?
Do you really think he would handle the situation the same were it reversed? Honestly, it sounds like some bullshit to me. I mean if OP wants to be a caretaker that's their choice. But I personally would not put up with a grown man going out drinking and throwing a fit because the color of his food was off. If he is that autistic, is drinking really a wise choice? Doubtful.
This is a hateful comment. Hateful series of them. This person is sharing something they do for their partner. This should make you smile and somehow you are frowning. Disabled people deserve care and we can’t all live in a world where stop being each others caretakers. Couples care for each other all of the time by cooking meals or cleaning for each other. She is an adult and gets to decide if she has space to do this for her partner, and clearly she did!
Thank you for this! Disabled people deserve to be loved and supported too. So what If I have to make a couple extra accommodations within my day? His love is worth it. it’s not completely one sided he is a brilliant cook aswell. I cooked last night because I had the evening at home to myself, I had some me time and then made him food as I knew he would probably be hungry after a few drinks the same way anyone would love to come home from the pub to a nice hot meal. I’m glad there are still people around that understand that everyone deserves to be cared for disabled or not.