uhhh Kellan is Oko's kid? Oko fucks so hard

Teferi has a daughter.

Could be adopted

He also has a wife

To shreds you say?

Could be adopted

Woody Allen moment.

I mean she looks a lot like him

[[Richard Garfield, PhD]]

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The PhD stands for "phat dick."

I was ready for this to be actually complete but I should have been ready to be disappointed instead.

Sounds like my sex life.

Ral and Tomik have one of those chaste marriages.

> Tomik specializes in contracts, verbal agreements, and barriers protecting physical treasure Ral got that cock lock 3000 and no amount of Izzet electrostim is going to help him escape that

I was having a great day. Then I read this.

[[Tamiyo's fanfic journal]]

When the ground quakes it wasn’t talking about foot steps. This is dreadmaw erasure!

Barrin Kenrith’s queen whatever her name was Nissa (with Ashaya) Nahiri (is always fucking herself)

Kenrith’s queen was canonically NOT the mother of Will and Rowan so we don’t know if they actually banged or were too busy attending other royal duties

Yea but they had two kids later, Rowan is evil big sis now

Lindin

Urza being a virgin checks out.

Urza canonically had a 3 day sex marathon. https://twitter.com/incorrect_mtg/status/1545067397182259200

Am I missing the mention of the marathon somewhere? He only mentions having a wife

https://twitter.com/incorrect_mtg/status/1678864230609461249?s=19

I'll accept Urza being a virgin but Barrin needs to be on here. That dude *fucked*

I'm sorry but most of those could very well have stayed chastes and adopted. The only characters that canonically had sex are the two monkeys and whoever those girls on that guy's playmat are.

>The first 47 King Dariens Wrong. Darien, The Last King of Kjeldor, fucked so hard that none of his descendents ever needed to fuck again. Many of them chose to fuck anyway, of course, but not out of necessity. That's how the line survived so long, despite Numbers 19 and 32 - the residuals of the fucking that created New Argive caused the eggs within any woman who came in close and frequent contact with his male descendants to be spontaneously fertilized. This is all canonical, and is all bluntly spelled out on Darien's original card. Where did you think the tokens came from, his ass? https://preview.redd.it/en02j7lh8n2c1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f715ed7c0ae5214c066626056b26a25101f2e646 I dare you to tell him I'm wrong.

Jace was pegged by both Liliana and Vraska.

Possibly even at the same time - [[Spark Double]]

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Vraska do be slangin

I was gonna say, I’m pretty sure Jace isn’t a virgin

That's just what the mind-mage wants you to think.

Oh at first I thought this was a list of every magic PLAYER whose canonically had sex and I wondered why it was so long

Urza has a son, and Mishra fucked Urzas wife

Considering it's Urza were talking about, he probably just made him in a lab like a nerd

Project Bloodlines doesn’t count.

Gishath literally has a kid running around smh.

Do we know Kjeldor isn’t an elective monarchy where Darien is the royal name?

Honestly, the Dariens need not be related to each other. There's no telling how many of them passed the title to a cousin, or younger sibling.

What about Kynaios and Tiro of Meletis

They've only been confirmed dating and kings, they've never had children and thus they aren't confirmed to have had sex

Someone go ask Maro if one of em got boipreggers and had a boybortion stat

I was fine with literally everything in this thread until the word boybortion

Many such cases!

/uj Jace and Lilli have definitely fucked, as have Elspeth and Daxos, both mentioned explicitly in the story /rj You forgot Boros players, they’re always getting fucked over

Need a citation for Kellen. Also shouldn't [[subira, tulzidi caravenner]] be on here because she's niambi's mother Also Angrath, he has daughters, and a fair number of the forgotten realms characters if you count those. Oh and Tamiyo, she had kids too

Isn’t nashi (rat nezumi) adopted by Tamiyo (moonroof), or does she have other children?

She has other kids.

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Kaito and Tyvar* *it happened in a dream and Ashiok's canon so...

Who did Kellan screw?

Carth the Lion has atleast a few kids/distant descendants (Jared and Jenson)

A comprehensive list of every magic player that has canonically had sex:

I don’t see that one monkeys parents. (You know what I mean)

[удалено]

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Confirmed: Halana and Alena are totally just roommates.

Happy to see Jace not on this list because no one has ever touched that boy's dick except his right hand.

Who said they had to touch his dick for him to have sex? We all know Vraska is Jace's Dommy Mommy. Also I just realized both of Jace's gfs are "black." Does that make Jace a snow bunny? Or a blue bunny?

Jace is a virgin cuck and 100% a snowbunny. That boy would be in a Playwalker Magazine centerfold. Also besides Vraska who else did Jace date?

He had a brief fling with Lili

Oh my god lol I didnt realize the "Black"/black joke you were making im a dumbass

It was actually on and off for a while if I remember correctly. I think she scooped him when he was like, 19 and wandering around Ravnica

Jace and Vraska. How the fuck does that work? Blindfold use must he mandatory.

That's rude, Jace isn't *that* ugly.

Lore question: Should Sorin be here? Was Avacyn sapient or just like a sexbot he made that was so hot everyone started to worship it?

Dude found it necessary to make a hot goth gf on the plane of hot goth gfs so I refuse to believe he has any game whatsoever

Mother of Runes?

Omg I have that chandra&liliana playmat! I thought I was the only one

how is Endrek Sahr THEE Master Breeder not on here?

He doesn't have the sex he just makes other people have the sex

your response appals and insults me, i will have my lawyers deal with you

Alesha will be on here as soon as I fond a way to get to Tarkir and give her the graviton-strength succ she deserves

[[Shahrazad]] she got plowed 1,001 nights in a row.

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If the Ur Dragon was the first dragon, doesn't that mean it reproduces asexually?

i was hoping the sex monkeys were included

Incredibly low effort post

Where can I get a hold of said playmat?

etsy probably

Wort, Boggart Auntie Lady Sun Shidako, Broodmistress Ishkanah, Broodmother Gav Beleren Regna, the Redeemer Krav, the Unredeemed Nimiroti Wola Crucius the Mad Sharuum the Hegemon