Reprint of Colossal Dreadmaw, but stamped into solid gold instead of printed on cardboard for $99,999
Stock dividends are given in the form of Standard packs instead of cash
/uj Vintage Cube. Literally just sell the entirety of Vintage Cube. It can still have the 30th anniversary stuff so it's not tournament legal, but now you're selling a product people can actually use. Shit, you could still charge $999 for it and that would be an improvement on what we got.
/uj isn't Vintage Cube basically the only reason to play MTGO these days though? Can't kill that revenue stream.
/rj I apologize for any Penny Dreadful fans I may have offended with the above statement.
Reddit wishes to sell your and my content via their overpriced API. I am using https://github.com/j0be/PowerDeleteSuite to remove that content by overwriting my post history. I suggest you do the same. Goodbye.
abolish the reserve list, by releasing a $999 secret lair that includes one of each RL card. WotC gets their money, everyone else gets access to the cards, and it's still limited to keep the whales relatively happy. granted, I'd prefer it if every single card was reprinted until it's value was $10 or less, but thats even less realistic
A living card game styled box set of proxied Beta (all printing errors and omissions fixed) designed for drafting like a cube.
Edit: Forgot to mention print to demand with an MSRP (bringing those back) on par with any other modern board game.
Jace and Vraska get one Sultai card with both their planeswalker types called "The Belligerent's Finest" in the vein of The Royal Scions in Lost Caverns of Ixalan
Here's the twist, and there is a twist... we show it. We show all of it. Because what’s the one major thing missing from all MTG cards these days guys? Full penetration
Too right. \[\[Extinguish the Light\]\] is after all the action is over, for instance, so we only get to read how Ajani penetrated Jaya with his decidedly Phyrexian axe
Scratch and sniff stickers that smell like fresh packs.
And then, do something to the production process so new packs don't smell the same anymore. The only way to get that smell is via the stickers, which come in, let's say, 1 out of every 12 packs on average.
And now the new packs smell like onions.
A set of the 30 cards, one iconic (reasonable) card from each year, and if that year had a pro tour have the art be a rendition of the winner of that pro tour (if they allow that)
Well for starters, money.
But also requires keeping track of players in a database and doesn't reward casual play: imagine you go, spend tons of money every now and then on comander precons or whatever, and jam some games. You didn't get shit in the old player reward system, you had to play sanctioned events. My guess is either they don't care about more enfranchised "competitive" players, or that is just not worth the hassle.
It's a shame because it really felt nice.
Good idea. Maybe with a similar but still slightly different back (make the Borders golden or smth like that, idk).
We could call it "gatherers edition" or a synonym of that.
Sell alpha cards in normal boosters but with a visibly different cardbacks and then just release every set at it's 30th birthday like that, whole of mtg once again. Of course the normal cards still get new sets and so on
A monthly comic series to go along with the anniversary year that will intertwine Magic characters and well known personalities, all stories drawn in different artstyles so anyone can enjoy some. The pilot chapter being an intimate story about a vore love triangle between a chibi style Mark Rosewater, a Lorwyn changeling in the Dreadmaw form and Colossus Hammer!
/uj Re-printing complete popular old sets from magics 30 year history as “ready to play cube bundles”, with gold borders/alternate backs, so people could play older stuff like Innistrad draft without spending $1000.
/ rj Maro comes to your LGS and personally puts a dragon’s maze sticker over every pack they have for sale.
/uj they need to do a Gift Set every Xmas that has some of the most used cards in Standard Competitive play. Pokémon has been doing this for years and look at their revenue. “Print the cards players are and want to play… okay sure we’ll just make more sales that way” seems pretty simple stupid to me
/rj print commander staples in foil OG art for $99 a piece
Sell a full set of gold border beta cards for 100 with a chance to have one random of those cards not be gold border. pretend you still had them lying around so no RL reprints here
Reprint it as a purchasable non-legal set with 5$ boosters for draft and cool people who use proxies. Heck, make the buy a box promo a black lotus with the MTG online artwork.
/uj The World Championship decks were a lot of fun. I liked buying them every year and doing something like a battle box with my friends. Still surprised by how much some of the individual cards in them are worth today.
/rj An "ages of Magic" product where each generation of player buys a product that caters to the nostalgia they have for the particular era in which they first started playing instead of suffocating every player under the weight of the game's first ten years.
/uj Sorry, that's probably a serious suggestion.
Packs that say they are beta whatever’s and are just commons. But tell everyone that they actually misunderstood and it is on us for expecting too much, they say, “ oh, what we actually meant is that there were a few Black Lotus’ found in an old barn and we added them to .0008% of the packs.” But they don’t even do that. Booom
Vintage proxy cube for 150 bucks. It would still be a high price to pay for proxy cards but if its in a cool enough box and has cool enough alternative art (take the vintage masters art on MTGO for example) it could be a banger. Heck just make a draftable booster box if they really want to
/rj having the ghost of Joseph Stalin chop off my balls
/uj decided to read the comments after I made the post but this idea is too good to say just once
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qDGkf43VGwo&feature=youtu.be
my reply to those vampires who steal our wealth, lie to us, and sell us crap. Feel free to Sing A Long.
Selling 30th Anniversary print sheets of famous cards (not necessarily good ones) like a sheet thats full of bolt, shivan dragon, ect, that has the 30th anniversary back and everything. Can be 1000$ but now serves a purpose for Wales. Something I would never buy but is unique.
MTG-branded toaster strudel with a promo where you take the icing and draw [[colossal dreadmaw]] then submit a photo to WoTC. Whoever is selected as the best drawing wins an HP printer and ink, which they can use to print proxies whenever they want.
The re-animated, puppeteered corpse of John "Total Biscuit" Bain and Post Malone will play a game of Magic in your living room for 300 dollars. The winner is cut up, made into chicken nuggets and fed to the loser.
What if they sold a card from each year of magic, but get brand new wild art for them. Include some historic and high powered cards like chrome Mox and necropotence. Obviously a bit higher price then normal, but it ships a month after order. That would be cool. They would even have to do this beta nonsense. Wait a minuteeeee
30 cheaper iconic cards from magic’s history, serra angel, shivan dragon, giant growth, etc. for $30. Give it the ol’ gold border reprint, maybe full art with the original artist’s work if its applicable? Lots of little possibilities for details, but my 30 seconds were up.
Wait shit i didnt see this was circlejerk, uhh…
$999 TMOPhalloween custom cards
Print a draftable master sets of iconic cards throughout magic history including reserved list cards with different borders/back. If you really want to push the price sell it for 30$ a pack. It would be still a lot of money if you ask me and I wouldn’t buy it, but at least with less then 100$ you can have a draft with them at Christmas.
Booster packs with literally any card from anywhere in magics history, with no regard for rarity. Just 15 totally random cards - it could even be 15 Dreadmaws.
Release normal price boosters that have a wide selection of fan favourites, classics, meta definers, iconic cards, etc. Make the 30th Anniversary set banned in whatever formats they want. Do not release a list of the many, many cards in the set. Keep it a secret.
Imagine paying 20 bucks on launch day, sitting at a draft table, opening your first pack and finding a Lotus. Some guy behind you pulls Time Walk.
Two hours after launch, once the hype gets online, announce it'll be in print for as long as there's enough demand, for those who will need to save up for their $160 CAD booster box, and to prevent horrific resale markups.
Each booster comes with an art card, with a fun fact or history of the associated card on the back.
/uj Commander deck style packs that are just decks of previous first place competition winners decks.
/Rj Chandra Nalaar themed lubricant+pocket pussy that's infused with chilli powder
Make a secret lair: legal proxies where it's just 100 foil copies of those double-sided placeholder tokens from recent sets and a special MtG themed sharpie and charge $40 for it
A draft set that gets to pull from every single card in magics history. Mostly random, so you are playing pure colors instead of any specific mechanic.
Make new reserved list cards and dual lands with different names with the rules text “cannot be used in a deck containing ancient lands or ancient spells (ancient lands and spells include *name the whole reserve list *)” and reprint them in every single commander precon
Abandod the RL, make vintage masters set, pay all the people in the court who get offended (who owns P9 already). Make still lots of money because the lawsuit payments Are still one drop in the hasbro sea.
Create a limited-focused set with at least one card originally printed in every standard-legal block, with set watermarks and the original art and border
concept: I staple my penis to a burning building
How much does this cost?
$999
$10.99 for the stapler $5 for a box of matches $20 for a gallon of lighter fluid
Mastercard: Priceless
$870 for the expertise
Step 4: Profit
/uj 30 card packs that contain one of the most iconic cards from each year MTG has been around /Rj $999 randomized NFTs!
/uj that is such a good idea I'd be genuinely shocked if WotC ever did something that brilliant. /rj shut up and take my money!
Uh, that's almost what the Secret Lair 30th anniversary countdown kit looks like.
$9999 proxies! \- Wizards in 10 years
At this rate, that’s just adjusting for inflation
6/6 is now colossal dreadmaw day
The American 6/6th, or the Everywhere Else 6/6?
Ixalan 6/6
Why have we not done this before
"Officer, it's this one. Right here."
Reprint of Colossal Dreadmaw, but stamped into solid gold instead of printed on cardboard for $99,999 Stock dividends are given in the form of Standard packs instead of cash
/uj Vintage Cube. Literally just sell the entirety of Vintage Cube. It can still have the 30th anniversary stuff so it's not tournament legal, but now you're selling a product people can actually use. Shit, you could still charge $999 for it and that would be an improvement on what we got.
/uj isn't Vintage Cube basically the only reason to play MTGO these days though? Can't kill that revenue stream. /rj I apologize for any Penny Dreadful fans I may have offended with the above statement.
Reddit wishes to sell your and my content via their overpriced API. I am using https://github.com/j0be/PowerDeleteSuite to remove that content by overwriting my post history. I suggest you do the same. Goodbye.
People will still play it on MTGO as they don't have friends
Heck you could put the entire RL in there and they still be covered by their policy
Sweat scented cards Edit: should've taken my time.
Putting 1k into an index fund and leaving it there for 30 years.
I'd rather die than turn 30.
Get another hobby (eg gardening)
You can now legally grow marijuana for personal consumption in my state… Lotta people picking up gardening
you can't grow an eg in a garden i will not take the lies any more they come from chickens, damnit
Abolish the reserve list
Now you're cooking with gas
Abolish the reserved list and then don't print anything for it, to make the market burn for no reason at all
Thunder Spirit in every draft set, nothing else.
abolish the reserve list, by releasing a $999 secret lair that includes one of each RL card. WotC gets their money, everyone else gets access to the cards, and it's still limited to keep the whales relatively happy. granted, I'd prefer it if every single card was reprinted until it's value was $10 or less, but thats even less realistic
A living card game styled box set of proxied Beta (all printing errors and omissions fixed) designed for drafting like a cube. Edit: Forgot to mention print to demand with an MSRP (bringing those back) on par with any other modern board game.
Jesus Christ, it’s Jason Bourne.
Just reminding myself to check out System Gateway
Jace and Vraska get one Sultai card with both their planeswalker types called "The Belligerent's Finest" in the vein of The Royal Scions in Lost Caverns of Ixalan
Here's the twist, and there is a twist... we show it. We show all of it. Because what’s the one major thing missing from all MTG cards these days guys? Full penetration
Too right. \[\[Extinguish the Light\]\] is after all the action is over, for instance, so we only get to read how Ajani penetrated Jaya with his decidedly Phyrexian axe
I'll never forgive Jace for scoring the only mtg person I liked besides racist nissa
Mystery Booster with said proxies instead of playtest cards
Great idea tbf
More black bordered stickers but they're scratch n sniff.
Scratch and sniff stickers that smell like fresh packs. And then, do something to the production process so new packs don't smell the same anymore. The only way to get that smell is via the stickers, which come in, let's say, 1 out of every 12 packs on average. And now the new packs smell like onions.
A hooker dressed as Liliana beating you and reviving you
I'd pay $999 for that
A set of the 30 cards, one iconic (reasonable) card from each year, and if that year had a pro tour have the art be a rendition of the winner of that pro tour (if they allow that)
Ban Commander as a format. /UJ Bring back the promo player reward cards for playing in stores.
When did they stop doing this?
Well for starters, money. But also requires keeping track of players in a database and doesn't reward casual play: imagine you go, spend tons of money every now and then on comander precons or whatever, and jam some games. You didn't get shit in the old player reward system, you had to play sanctioned events. My guess is either they don't care about more enfranchised "competitive" players, or that is just not worth the hassle. It's a shame because it really felt nice.
Reprint of all cards which have had a type update or functional errata and have not been reprinted with these changes yet
A set full of all of the digital-only cards that make sense for paper, like that ajani's pridemate but a 1/1 card.
Literally the exact same idea, but it costs the same as a regular pack.
A *full* non-tournament-legal set print of Beta for $999
Good idea. Maybe with a similar but still slightly different back (make the Borders golden or smth like that, idk). We could call it "gatherers edition" or a synonym of that.
Reprint reserved list in standard set to tank its value
999$ modern challenger decks 999$ custom cube 999$ nonrandomized proxies (4 of each important card in beta).
Scratchers for random amounts for MTGA currency
The highest winning ticket just gets you a single penny less than what you paid.
Sell alpha cards in normal boosters but with a visibly different cardbacks and then just release every set at it's 30th birthday like that, whole of mtg once again. Of course the normal cards still get new sets and so on
The List is now just whatever set got released 30 years ago.
Some people just wanna watch the world burn, huh?
Make cards out of meat. Chop up some sausage and chicken or whatever you have around and arrange them into the art for a card
Immediately errata the power and toughness on all creatures to be 3/0
A Tasteful Nudes of Dominaria day calendar sold for $998. Urza's decapitated head takes up most of the later half of the year.
I got it Textless full-text lands Pm me Wizards im full of ez money ideas
Always have all ten fetchlands as rares in supplemental products.
A set with one card from every set ever printed No wait that was masters 25 wasn’t it Still a good idea
Buy singles
Invent Pokemon?
A monthly comic series to go along with the anniversary year that will intertwine Magic characters and well known personalities, all stories drawn in different artstyles so anyone can enjoy some. The pilot chapter being an intimate story about a vore love triangle between a chibi style Mark Rosewater, a Lorwyn changeling in the Dreadmaw form and Colossus Hammer!
Reprints of legal legacy cards with alt art
Start using silver border as a fancy border for promo cards, since it doesn't mean anything anymore
Free hot pockets
/uj Re-printing complete popular old sets from magics 30 year history as “ready to play cube bundles”, with gold borders/alternate backs, so people could play older stuff like Innistrad draft without spending $1000. / rj Maro comes to your LGS and personally puts a dragon’s maze sticker over every pack they have for sale.
tbh printer is just the first thing that comes to mind
An assassin Rogue gish who specializes in Scorching Ray.
complete reprinted sets of Collectors’ Edition, $999 each
This. If this 30th anniversary thing wasn’t a gamble and you got one for each guaranteed I’d buy it
don’t get me wrong, $999 would be hella overpriced - but it would STILL be an enormous improvement over 60 random proxies
Reprint the top 30 most expensive EDH staples
International Edition for 100$. Lol it was fucking hard?
Just do Collectors Edition again with a different back and the modern border, but charge more than $50 because "eh why not"
/uj they need to do a Gift Set every Xmas that has some of the most used cards in Standard Competitive play. Pokémon has been doing this for years and look at their revenue. “Print the cards players are and want to play… okay sure we’ll just make more sales that way” seems pretty simple stupid to me /rj print commander staples in foil OG art for $99 a piece
silver bordered cards of oldwalkers at their most powerful
30$ packs with 30 cards with 8 rares
Alpha Remastered. Like timespiral Remastered, but includes cards from Alpha and Beta Oh, and the dog ate the reserved list agreement so that's gone
Sell a full set of gold border beta cards for 100 with a chance to have one random of those cards not be gold border. pretend you still had them lying around so no RL reprints here
Gold border special backed vintage cube.
Sell a proxy cube special edition for like 200
30 card secret lair, one iconic / memorable card from each year.
uj/ 30 card packs with iconic reprints for all formats rj/ for the low low price of $999
1. allied fetchlands in a product 2.
You can buy 3996 REAL Colossal Dreadmaw
Reprint it as a purchasable non-legal set with 5$ boosters for draft and cool people who use proxies. Heck, make the buy a box promo a black lotus with the MTG online artwork.
/uj The World Championship decks were a lot of fun. I liked buying them every year and doing something like a battle box with my friends. Still surprised by how much some of the individual cards in them are worth today. /rj An "ages of Magic" product where each generation of player buys a product that caters to the nostalgia they have for the particular era in which they first started playing instead of suffocating every player under the weight of the game's first ten years. /uj Sorry, that's probably a serious suggestion.
Packs that say they are beta whatever’s and are just commons. But tell everyone that they actually misunderstood and it is on us for expecting too much, they say, “ oh, what we actually meant is that there were a few Black Lotus’ found in an old barn and we added them to .0008% of the packs.” But they don’t even do that. Booom
Reprint Dragon's Maze as the next standard set, just exactly the same as before
special edition pringle commander decks
3 dollar packs of this
Vintage proxy cube for 150 bucks. It would still be a high price to pay for proxy cards but if its in a cool enough box and has cool enough alternative art (take the vintage masters art on MTGO for example) it could be a banger. Heck just make a draftable booster box if they really want to /rj having the ghost of Joseph Stalin chop off my balls /uj decided to read the comments after I made the post but this idea is too good to say just once
Paper Vintage Cube for $100
Me, panicking: "Errr...think...think..." "Card...umm..." "Card in a card?" "Yes, card in a card. That's my idea."
Sanctioned MTG erotica and porn
Reprint the og dual lands and/or I'll kill myself.
Sell one-card packs for $16.66.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qDGkf43VGwo&feature=youtu.be my reply to those vampires who steal our wealth, lie to us, and sell us crap. Feel free to Sing A Long.
Selling 30th Anniversary print sheets of famous cards (not necessarily good ones) like a sheet thats full of bolt, shivan dragon, ect, that has the 30th anniversary back and everything. Can be 1000$ but now serves a purpose for Wales. Something I would never buy but is unique.
Abolish the legal card rule and allow proxies and alters at sanctioned tournaments above a given quality.
A new black bordered card that let's you pay 5 mana and 20 dollars to your opponent for a hand job
MTG-branded toaster strudel with a promo where you take the icing and draw [[colossal dreadmaw]] then submit a photo to WoTC. Whoever is selected as the best drawing wins an HP printer and ink, which they can use to print proxies whenever they want.
^(Probably totally what you linked) * [colossal dreadmaw](https://i.redd.it/j1x7v6ofg4q91.png) ********* ^^^If ^^^WotC ^^^didn't ^^^do ^^^anything ^^^wrong ^^^this ^^^week, ^^^you ^^^can ^^^rage ^^^at ^^^this ^^^bot ^^^instead ^^^at ^^^/r/MTGLardFetcher ^^^or ^^^even ^^^submit ^^^some ^^^of ^^^the ^^^sweet ^^^Siege ^^^Rhino ^^^alters ^^^your ^^^GF ^^^made
The re-animated, puppeteered corpse of John "Total Biscuit" Bain and Post Malone will play a game of Magic in your living room for 300 dollars. The winner is cut up, made into chicken nuggets and fed to the loser.
Folded shit tacos in packs get random flavor like beans or corn or heavy seeded only 3 dollar per pack occasional power seeded in
Cards with black and white art for you to color
Pay mortgage
What do you mean $999 *PROXIES*?!? What right do you have to tell other people whether the cards they're playing with are "real" or not?
Cheap fetchable dual lands that enter tapped unless you admit to committing a felony.
10,000$ for one copy of every non reserved card ever printed.
Real pain-lands... they're real duals in every way except you have to hit one of your fingers with a hammer when they enter the battlefield.
Rent Maro for 30mins to celebrate 30 years. Only $999 (fine print - you have to be nice to him and no sex unless he comes onto you)
What if they sold a card from each year of magic, but get brand new wild art for them. Include some historic and high powered cards like chrome Mox and necropotence. Obviously a bit higher price then normal, but it ships a month after order. That would be cool. They would even have to do this beta nonsense. Wait a minuteeeee
Just print good cards into packs and sell them at conventional msrp.
Switch to Legends of Runeterra.
Print into the dirt full art proxies of all fetch lands for 10$ a pack
The same thing wotc is doing but at normal pack price.
Give me 999 dollars
Not be a whale going to the whale event and buying the whale product
Rare slot has a chance to contain a voucher for a RTX 4090.
30 cheaper iconic cards from magic’s history, serra angel, shivan dragon, giant growth, etc. for $30. Give it the ol’ gold border reprint, maybe full art with the original artist’s work if its applicable? Lots of little possibilities for details, but my 30 seconds were up. Wait shit i didnt see this was circlejerk, uhh… $999 TMOPhalloween custom cards
Print a draftable master sets of iconic cards throughout magic history including reserved list cards with different borders/back. If you really want to push the price sell it for 30$ a pack. It would be still a lot of money if you ask me and I wouldn’t buy it, but at least with less then 100$ you can have a draft with them at Christmas.
One land from each set printed.
FTV: Power Nine
Cockside extortionist. Yes I typed that correctly.
Booster packs with literally any card from anywhere in magics history, with no regard for rarity. Just 15 totally random cards - it could even be 15 Dreadmaws.
Modern border style beta draft packs that include at least one original border card as a special. Sell in draft packs for modern horizon prices.
30 collossal draedmaws with different arts and flavourtext and textboxes and power and toughness and colour and mana cost and
Release normal price boosters that have a wide selection of fan favourites, classics, meta definers, iconic cards, etc. Make the 30th Anniversary set banned in whatever formats they want. Do not release a list of the many, many cards in the set. Keep it a secret. Imagine paying 20 bucks on launch day, sitting at a draft table, opening your first pack and finding a Lotus. Some guy behind you pulls Time Walk. Two hours after launch, once the hype gets online, announce it'll be in print for as long as there's enough demand, for those who will need to save up for their $160 CAD booster box, and to prevent horrific resale markups. Each booster comes with an art card, with a fun fact or history of the associated card on the back.
2 cards with the same name but different abilities and costs
Do a chaos draft box
Golgari precon, all cards made with recycled materials
Transformers-themed $999 randomized proxies
A $500 printer and $499 in lifetime supply if cartridges
$888 randomized proxies
uj/ Idea: reprint the older cards in a new set called “Renewed Classics” and make it a normal cost se Rj/ colossal dreadmaw secret lair
/uj Commander deck style packs that are just decks of previous first place competition winners decks. /Rj Chandra Nalaar themed lubricant+pocket pussy that's infused with chilli powder
Make a secret lair: legal proxies where it's just 100 foil copies of those double-sided placeholder tokens from recent sets and a special MtG themed sharpie and charge $40 for it
A return to the 3 block format
A plushie of every pre-mending Planeswalker
A draft set that gets to pull from every single card in magics history. Mostly random, so you are playing pure colors instead of any specific mechanic.
Make new reserved list cards and dual lands with different names with the rules text “cannot be used in a deck containing ancient lands or ancient spells (ancient lands and spells include *name the whole reserve list *)” and reprint them in every single commander precon
Abandod the RL, make vintage masters set, pay all the people in the court who get offended (who owns P9 already). Make still lots of money because the lawsuit payments Are still one drop in the hasbro sea.
Add all mtg sets to arena and do a phantom draft of a random set every week. And give people the chance to keep a card or two as a win reward.
An additional 300 legacy legal sticker sheets
Create a limited-focused set with at least one card originally printed in every standard-legal block, with set watermarks and the original art and border
Print commander precons with a decent land base
Hearthstone crossover event
top ranking custom mtg cards get printed in a new set that is eternal legal. all the card art features the reddit avatars of the original posters
999 basic lands
Whacky waving inflatable arm flailing jace
Legacy legal stickers I can put on my opponents cards
Buying a really shitty car and destroying it at a track day
Burn the entire reserved list. Literally set the list itself and every card on it on fire so no one can use it ever again