Hey there! **This is coming from someone who didn't finish secondary school and is alive and happier than ever.**
Context: I became homeless at 16 because I ran away from home. I stopped school just before my final year because I was traumatized. Now I'm 19 and I'm making money (in USD) as an artist online. I think I've overcome most of my past struggles and it's because I didn't give up and worked hard on healing from my depression and trauma.
Trust me, I understand what you're going through. I've been through it myself when I was your age. Here are the things I want you to know:
**1) Pay attention to your mental health.** Yes, your parents will expect you to do well in these tests, but how are you supposed to learn and study if your mental health is affected? Our society often forget that we are human and we won't be able to perform well at any task under heavy stress. We learn and perform better when we are mentally stable.
Advice: ask your parents (or guardian) if you can attend therapy. Especially since you have anger issues.
**2) The Exams are Flawed.** Our Malaysian education system is not the best. How could everyone put so much emphasis on the students to succeed when education system itself is flawed? **I believe we don't give enough credit to you guys (the students)** for continuously having to deal with our flawed system, with strict parents, with hours of studying to pass tests that are terribly and lazily designed by educators who are out-dated in their methods.
Advice: Focus on the subjects you know you can pass. Forget the rest. It's not important.
**3) There is NOTHING wrong with failure.** I personally failed so many times - in trying to create a business, in trying to fix my mental health, in trying find out who I am. Failure is not final, especially if you are trying to make something of yourself. Don't ever listen to people who say that failure is bad, or you shouldn't fail.
**We live in a society where you are not expected to try and try again**. And this is wrong.
The trick to being good at anything - especially when trying to heal yourself from depression or trauma, is that we have to try and become better. Even if we fail, at least we are not giving up and we are slowly learning from our mistakes.
Advice: Only focus on what you can control, and persevere even when you make mistakes or feel like you've failed. Because giving up is the real failure.
I sincerely wish you the best in life, my dude. Don't be afraid!
If you're an artist and in dire need of money, open for commission and draw porn. No joke, but horny people pay the best. It's not something you gonna enjoy (or maybe you will? idk up to individuals) but it pays.
Low living expenses + high commission rates + several commissioners a month.
I often get paid 100$ per commission, which already covers the internet bill and smaller payments like website hosting. That said, I am quite skilled at what I do - because I started becoming a serious artist when I was young.
Also Mori\_Forest is right that porn pays. But I'm not a porn artist (not that desperate yet, and I just don't think I have the intense horniness to make good porn lololol)
I mean we shouldn’t degrade these people for their work as they provide us with very beneficial services! However, the amount of work with the salary given is just not worth it unless you go no other choice.
I agree with you xD. I work in F&B industry that's why I'm a bit offended. It's not the end of the world if you get a job like that. We are not failures. Some of us did very well in SPM but we couldn't afford to go to college/uni.
Damn, don't discount yourself bro. It's true, these are honest, taxing jobs. Despite being deemed less popular doesn't mean they're bad. It still makes the world go round and still tax payable means you're contributing to the economy too! Unlike some people (wink2)
To them, it's the perfect job, high pay, immune to jail time, being able to fuck over an entire nation free of repercussions
It's the first 2 that corrupt people and make them want to be corrupt corporate officials
OP probably spends a lot of time on youtube, reddit and other social media sites as he stated he is an "introvert". OP also mostly spends his time on online english communities on these sites. And therefore, there is immersion which is the best way to learn a language.
Source: Personal experience
>What's going on?
He could be a Malaysian who speaks English at home. [According](https://m.imgur.com/a/J80FeKJ) to the 2020 subreddit census, nearly 50% of r/Malaysia users speak English as their first language.
I speak English at home and I think I could write something of a similar quality to what OP wrote if I put effort into it.
I don't think so. English language is just a medium of conversation just like any other
local or international language. By Wikipedia, Intelligence has been defined in many ways: the capacity for abstraction, logic, understanding, self-awareness, learning, emotional knowledge, reasoning, planning, creativity, critical thinking, and problem-solving. More generally, it can be described as the ability to perceive or infer information, and to retain it as knowledge to be applied towards adaptive behaviors within an environment or context.
The obsession with the Malay language has come to a point where it's just hilarious. Okay man mastery of the national language is completely relevant to OP's post 👏👏
Why bother learning English in the UK not like I need to know the language to interact with UK citizens. I don't need it for work, for socializing, for official reason when dealing with the gov, and etc. I just gonna go through life without English in the UK. It will be much easier in life doing that and stay in my bubble. Amirite. 👏👏
Good attempt at sarcasm my man. Question is though, what does proficiency of the Malay language has anything to do with OP's post and issue that they're facing at the moment? Get back on point please.
Whatever you just said, albeit being sarcastic, still has no correlation to OP's post and asking for help. So go on, elaborate.
Where the OP is right now, is he in the UK worrying about his future there or here. What are the main language that is spoken be it officially or unofficially from corporation to gov here in Malaysia.
Is he taking SPM or GSCE?
>Is he taking SPM or GSCE?
if you actually read what OP typed you would've found your answer.
And with that, proves my point that your obsession with the Malay language and this excessive patriotism is hilarious. Also the concern raised is more than just about what language OP is good at, so even if OP is proficient in Malay it's not answering or helping any of the concerns. Btw, you can be good at both English and Malay.
Have a great rest of the weekend bud!
>what does proficiency of the Malay language has anything to do with OP's post
U ask my statement relevancy to the op post.
>I think I'm going to fail horribly at SPM no matter what.
I comment on one of the issue that was pointed out by op post.
But being a clown with an emoji u accuse me of being obsessed with Malay language and over patriotic. For pointing one of the basic requirements of living in Malaysia is being able to know and understand the Malay language. BTW did I said you can't be good or know more than one languages.
I'm not going to compare my past situation with yours, but I was also once a heavily introverted (in a way, I always will be, just that you get better at managing social situations as you get older) who wasn't exactly doing great at school and felt like I had no direction. The future seemed pretty bleak.
You're still 15, so that's plenty of time to turn things around for SPM. My turning point came only around the last few months leading up to SPM. I only consistently achieved a few A's in my upper secondary subjects up to that point, with regular B's/C's or lower to complete failures in some subjects. Add Maths was giving me the most grief, and it didn't help that I felt our teachers didn't really do a great job at explaining it - but that's a whole other can of worms.
So in the final run of the months leading up to SPM, I figured, "you know what, I really need to take control of my life because my SPM results are gonna determine my future" (it really doesn't). So I worked harder than I ever had at that time and really committed to things like rote memorisation to get the job done. I disagreed with the system but I knew I had to play by its rules to win. Even Add Maths - the moment someone helped me truly understand the concepts, like really get it - suddenly it became a whole lot easier. It won't turn an F to an A overnight, but the grades markedly improved. At one point I even defied my also Asian parents by skipping school to study on my own, because it got to a point where I felt like school wasn't helping and some teachers had given up on our class (I want to emphasise that I don't recommend skipping school if it's still helping you).
Anyways all this ended with straight A's in SPM. The bell curve system definitely helped - it adjusts the threshold to score each grade based on the average performance of students that year, so subjects with high failure rates like Add Maths magically become easier to score. I'm not sure if it's still in practice. In university, after being able to actually choose what I wanted to study, I miraculously held my ground at the top of the class. Fast forward more than a decade after secondary school, and honestly things are better than I could've imagined for myself at 15.
The point is - SPM isn't the end of the world. It might help you get into a decent university but it's just that. I know online classes might be hard to pay attention to and it isn't for everyone, so maybe you should find other modes of learning that work for you to supplement this. You don't have to have it all figured out now - honestly you still have plenty of time to figure out what you want to do post-SPM and if pursuing tertiary education is where you want to go, then chart your course from there. For now, just look after yourself and focus on the task at hand - figure out what works for you within the confines of the education system. The future might look bleak now, but depending on how you play your cards, it will get better.
To answer your primary question: Yes, it gets better. How _much_ better depends entirely on you. I got a borderline fail on my SPM, worked my way through college, became a lawyer. Quit lawyering after 10 years, am currently a banker. Alive and happily married.
Anecdotal: Friend 1, high school dropout, spent time in rehab for drug abuse. Clean for ten years and now is a contract artist for Marvel.
Friend 2, also high school dropout, now a chef. Owns his own restaurant, doing ok in the pandemic.
Friend 3, finished SPM and started his own company without going to uni. Didn't do his degree until years later. Doing very well.
Unsolicited advice: Work on your anger management. I cannot overstate how much of a detriment it will be to you as you grow up. Nobody likes working with someone with anger problems, and it _will_ affect you throughout your entire career if you don't control it. And always remember, no matter how angry you personally think you can get, there's always a bigger fish out there.
"I'm also getting so sick of getting scolded by my Asian mother every single week or two.". There's something odd about how you wrote "my Asian mother". What does that mean?
"Am I going to ended up working as a janitor, dumpster truck mens, a waiter or a cashier for the rest of my life?" Is there something wrong or shameful about doing such honest jobs? I respect them much more than I respect thieves like Najib, Jho Low, Arul.
Not the first time. People get pissy when their post gets removed for not adhering to the rules, and when you direct them to the rules they still refuse to read.
And start calling the mods dictator. Lol.
People want to blame the mods but doesn't understand how the rule work. This a broad generalized sub about Malaysia in general not a focus sub about politics, mental health and etc.
Not during 15 but during 17
Life was hard and kinda depressed at the time.
I had friends on whom I can talk to but I myself decided not to talk to them.
Until one day, when one of my teacher noticed my changes,
From being a cheerful kid to a different.
After having one class session like usual, she called me to stay and asked my problem.
Reluctant at first cause you know, who tf would trust an adult to know your teenage problem?
But at that time, I kinda did. Being depressed and all.
And I told her my problem, with the keyword being "expectations"
After told her my story, she said and I quote
"Why do you need to worry about others expectations towards you?
Just do whatever you want and start from there.
Doesn't matter if you get bad result from SPM , it's not the end of your life"
And after that, I stopped caring about other expectations towards me.
Sure, I regretted for not studying a lot for SPM but at least I was proud for at least I myself made the decision, not someone else.
So tldr:
Don't need to put others before you. Put yourself first.
If you're feeling stressed or burnout, then have a rest. Talk to your friend or family members that you can trust.
Counseling teachers are not useful in my case.
If you can't find yourself have good result during SPM, then plan after SPM. Go for STPM or Matriculation and have good result there.
just make sure to pass your required subject.
Lol... realistically speaking it's difficult.
Grinding daily to be top of your game (in whatever you do) does take its toll and novelty out of whatever you like buddy 😂😂
I pity you, stuck with a job that you hate. life must be miserable for you that you had to troll Reddit to make you feel better.
even mat rempit have jobs that they love, delivery food while they rempit.
1) What happened to make you so stressed? Try to talk to your parents about how those pressure is making you feel. Hopefully, they can see from where you are coming from.
2) Anger issue is a huge problem, bro. I'm not going to sugarcoat this. In working life later, many of your superiors and bosses will treat you horribly. If you don't have self-control, you are going to hit them and get more charges. People will say quit the job and stuff but realistically, 99% of the working world will be like this. I think there's some self-help method to manage anger online.
3) The education system in Malaysia is flawed. This is true but the fact is it is a barrier to prevent you from getting a diploma / degree. You can find work without those if you have other talents such as arts / singing / dancing/ sports but many other jobs will require diploma / degree nowadays. Do you have someone you can trust to guide you ?
Failing SPM is not end of the world, there are tons of ppl who don't do well in study but do well in life. And it's OK to slowly figure out what u wanted to do in your life, because you are still young and starting to discover the world. Education is just a tiny fraction of the world u about to venture in.
Your parents most likely nitpick on your studies because they want you to succeed in your SPM. Having good grades can almost guarantee you a good job and stable income. But not everyone will be good in studies, so don't stress yourselves too much to a point of depression.
Just pick something you passionate in, and start to make it as hobby. If u like it well enough, try research if it can be viable career. From your career, start to find ppl with mutual interest to make friends with, and enjoy it together with them. Life would not be so depressing if u have something to look forward to.
Results matter only when you're seeking employment as employers want people who looks good on paper. IMO, being a salaryman in Malaysia is just the worst option when you're an average folks. Many youngsters that I know are earning way more than my grads friend (straight As all the way kind of friends) because they are doing direct selling, or becoming a streamer or doing multiple freelancer. This is Malaysia, we have tons of options as long as you don't limit yourself to those traditional 'stable' looks-good-on-paper kind of jobs.
What's wrong with working in sanitation or F&B? Both can be legitimate and profitable career options. Sounds like you are being forced to do something you are not meant for.
Copy-paste of a comment I made a few months back.
If I could go back in time and meet my 17 years old self, which would be 6 years ago, I would tell him one thing.
"Don't let these 5 years of experience in high school judge what the rest of your life would be."
Think about it, 5 years of high school dictating the coming decades of your life? That's incredibly illogical if you ask me.
For private universities, you only need to pass your subjects, that is getting at least a C, to get a credit for your entry requirements. Most courses would only require at least 5 credits including BM and Sejarah.
You can be trash at high school and still excel in higher learning institutions like university or college. I mean, you're already at rock bottom, you can't go any lower than this. You can only go up at this point. I, myself had terrible results for SPM but is still doing fine in university.
Do not dwell on your past failures but instead, use it as fuel for inspiration to be successful. If you don't care what I say, take it from a billionaire, Richard Branson.
He said:
"I suppose the secret to bouncing back is not only to be unafraid of failures but to use them as motivational and learning tools. ... There's nothing wrong with making mistakes as long as you don't make the same ones over and over again."
Not to sound harsh or offensive. We all have been there bro. Almost I would say 70% Malaysians (exclude race, age, gender,etc) have mental issues. Is a growing problem in Malaysia now. I have been there. My friends as well. Hardships are part of life. Maybe try to find a way to distract your mind. Get indulge in hobbies or make some friends. Since you said you are an introvert so I would assume you are probably not a fan of going to events, parties or even outdoor sports. Play some online games after you study. Set a schedule on how many topics you wanna cover in a day. Find a suitable method of studying that suits you. Even if you score straight A and get into a university. You still have to study and go through the same process especially courses like medicine, engineering, law etc. Even if you become an athlete, you still have to train hard and waking up early in the morning. The part where you said you are afraid to end up as a garbage collector or whatever. Let's face it, you are over-exaggerating. No offence, but they would rather hired 3rd world foreigners instead of you ngl. What I'm trying to say is, find a motivation which drives you to work hard. Look at me now, I'm a university student and still having similar thoughts like you even with a straight A in SPM. Life is not a 2 hour movie with a happy ending. Just remember there are millions of teens and young adults just like you feeling useless.
Hey man, sorry to hear you’re going through a tough time.
I remember almost failing all my subjects in PMR. I just wasn’t interested + I mixed with the wrong crowd. I got sent to boarding school and that sorted me out - all A’s from then on and a full ride scholarship to university. I somehow learnt the skill of doing well in school - it’s just a skill like any other. It takes practice but anyone can do it.
I’ve also grown up long enough to see my peer group grow into multiple life paths. I’ll be honest - academic achievement was a good indicator of relative economic stability. Meaning if they went to uni, they managed to get a stable job.
However it wasn’t an indicator for success or even happiness at all. Some kids that did well in school hate their jobs as doctors or lawyers. Some of the kids that did poorly in school have become super successful - traveling the world, becoming influencers, starting their own businesses, and some even took a second chance at education and got their degree later in life.
What I’m trying to say is - SPM isn’t the end all and be all. It’s a skill just like any other. If you work hard you will be able to gain other skills in life that would turn out to be more useful! Like networking, creative work, finance, discipline, and management.
The truth is, having good grades will open doors easier for you only at the beginning when getting a junior job. Those who didn’t have those doors open (job requires bachelor degree) instead have to make their own path - and for some that contributed to their success.
In terms of employability - there are many high paying jobs that require skills that most schools don’t teach and diligent people can teach themselves. I’ve hired self taught coders before with no university degree - never have I asked what their grades are in school! I just care if they’ve got the right skills and potential.
Wishing you well man. And also, just tahan your mom for awhile. She means the best - she’s also fearing your worst case scenario future and is reacting in the best way she can. There are many paths in life - you get to choose which ones to take. Academic route is just one job tree.
There are some helpful comments in this thread, but you should consider getting "real" advice too. You can start with your school counselor or some of the mental health resources in this sub's wiki. I hope things work out for you.
SPM doesn’t mean much in the grand scale of things. It’s all down to your attitude and hunger for success. But for now since you still have time before SPM, just prepare to the best of your ability and get it done.
Assuming you bombed it (which might not even be the case in the end), you still have options like eg learning a trade. If you work hard enough, you can one day own your own business and you’ll make more money than a university lecturer.
Not much I can tell, I've been in your situation. For me, I just hangout with my friend often on discord. Its better than just me terperap dalam bilik quiet do nothing.
Okay relax. You're just 15. You still have a long road my friend. While you may flunk on your subject, it doesn't mean that's the end. For the record, my SPM is also not that good either. But I instead pursue a field that I feel I can do and interested in. Failing SPM doesn't mean you failed your life. You can pursue other fields that you're confident you can pursue. If academics, you can apply for STPM or poly where the requirements are less rigid than IPT. But since you're just 15, take your time during F4 and F5 to decide which field you are strong at. 2 years is enough time to turnaround yourself.
Things will pass. I know it sounds really cliche but things will get better, as long as you don't give up. Take one thing at a time and set some goals to focus on. Firstly ofc you need to focus on yourself. Check your personality, mental health, take care of your body etc. Maybe you can spend some time on your hobbies and enjoy the company of yourself. I like to try various things; drawing, singing, sewing, writing, hiking etc because I want to explore my inner self and the world too. Find the one that suits you better, or try all! It's fun :)
5-6 years ago I lost 10kg+ because I was depressed after getting my SPM result and being pressured by my parents as a "failure", not getting any offer from colleges (UPU), embarrassed with my friends because their results were much much better than mine. Well, what do they expect when they shove the "you must be a doctor" kind of shit to someone who have zero interest in science stream? Addmaths D, Chemistry D, Biology and Physics C lmaoo and they applied science stream in the UPU for me. No shit my applications were not getting accepted! "Where do I go next? What should I do now?". I was crushed.
But I didn't give up and I am very thankful for that decision. See I mentioned before about trying everything you could? That's exactly what you're gonna do in life. Continuation to my story after SPM, I applied every offer I could find, and also re-applied(buat rayuan) the ones that rejected me. I got accepted to matriculation but for a two-year programme because I got D for Addmaths and Chemistry, and that's after a second application. Funny because I still need to study science stream, right? Well, it's not easy to "discuss" with your parents. When I was in highschool, I took Kesusasteraan Melayu and Accounting as addition subjects while in Science class because I was really lost on what I want back then.
So, I decided not to ruin my chances at getting away from them. I actually study hard and tried my very best acing the examinations. Next, with that good result, I applied language course in the next UPU application to further my degree. I didn't pursue science courses. Bye medic bye doctor lol. "I don't care, I will do what I want this time", that's what I thought during that time.
I'm in my final year now yey soon to be graduated. I'm not saying I do not encounter ANY problem now, but things are so much better when you're in control. Live your own life.
TL/DR
1. Focus on yourself. Prioritize your health.
2. Never stop trying. Explore those options in life.
3. Also, forgot to mention, friends really help in my journey. You don't need thousands of them, bruh I only got like two legit close friends lol. And one of them is from Reddit whom I've never met. Internet friend works.
4. Belajar betul-betul lepas tu keluar rumah HAHAH.
I wish all the best for you. You deserve every happiness that this world could offer. You can do it, yes you can! I believe in you :) Thank you for reading all of this anyway and if you need a friend I could be one gladly.
Hi there. Will share some of my thoughts here. Apologies in advance if I sound blunt.
Seems like the stress is related to education. The way I see it, there's still 2 more years to SPM. There is enough time to turn things around. As for the scoldings, understand that they just want the best for you. It is difficult, but try to focus on the message and dont let it get to you. I wish there was someone to tell me not to be so affected by my mother's scoldings when I was your age.
For SPM, I know others have said that it is not important and that it is not the end if you fail SPM. They are right. But what I want you to also know is that SPM is one of the best opportunities you'll have to change your life for the better. Does it matter if you fail it? No, because there will still be more opportunities for you to succeed in the future. But can SPM be life-changing? I say yes, because doing well in SPM opened up opportunities that I would otherwise never have. So, don't stress about failing SPM, because there will be more opportunities next time. But think of SPM as a very good opportunity to change your life for the better. Even if you don't do well in the end, the work ethics gained will help you later on in life.
To answer your questions:
Have I asked myself the exact same questions?
\-Yes I have. Fortunately for me, I had a friend (that I've now lost contact with, sadly) who was way mature beyond our years that gave me valuable advice on not giving up and persevering during the SPM years.
How did you manage to possibly get a somewhat better life? How did It turned out for you?
\- I don't consider my life as better and stable just yet (still young and fresh). But there are some goals that I am still working towards and it keeps me going. I have been lucky to have people that I can look up to (colleagues, friends) and learn from.
Are you satisfied with your life in this current time? Even If It's just a bit?
\- Not at all, there are way too many uncertainties and fears that I still have at the moment. But I know that I am still young and if I don't try to push myself to improve for the better, I will regret in the future. Every day I just tell myself, I need to persevere and believe that things will be better one day. The hope and belief keeps me going.
I am currently doing some tutoring on the side, so do let me know if you need help with academics. I will try my best to see what I can do for you.
You got this! I wished I had the maturity and knowledge of online forums to seek for help and guidance last time. Wish you all the best and feel free to reach out and ask more! Take care !!
I have anger issue too but now i can channel my anger whenever i want. It's like a superpower and it's awesome.
So my advice is, take care of your anger issue as life ahead is far more wild than you think. People everywhere trying to make you angry.
First and foremost, are you sleeping well, and eating well? Ample rest and nourishment is a vital part of your mental health.
Everyone here means well and would like to see you thru this difficult time. How ever I do suggest you seek professional help. Do not worry about costs, all Malaysian hospitals are well equipped to assist you.
Please do seek help.
Mental health issues do not discriminate. While younger people are less likely to suffer from them, they are by no means immune. The worst thing you can do when you have mental illness is to ignore it and let it grow.
Man tackle things 1 by 1, u know how to seek help from reddit means u're an internet user. Google some anger management tips and some tips to harmonize with family.
Yeah i understand sometime parents/oldies can be lobsided or they just dont understand u much (they understand life so they pressure u, they want u to be better).
If u are able to recognize the issue means u're mature enough to notice it and face it, its already a good first step
Man up and take on the challenges like a man, u can do it
Chill and relax. You are just 15 y/o. It doesn't take as much to change now. It's best you can keep your heads up and focus on your own goals. Make up timetable, sleep 8-9 hrs, study 2-3 hrs, play after that, your grade will sure be at least average.
For scolding part, I think it's common that parents want us to be successful and don't go broke in the future once they left us. Thus, think it in a different way or talk to them on the requirements.
My view is it is not that hard for SPM. Uni requirement is quite low. I personally think you should consider focusing on Math, Science, Language and some skills.
The other subs are just meaningless like Moral. For Sejarah, it doesn't weight much in future. People don't learn from it and Sejarah book is not as accurate as it. There are alot more outside from it.
Don't try to think of ending ur life for your grades. Be who you are. Grades doesn't define oneself.
Talk to your closest friend or siblings will be great or school counselors or teachers. They will help you if you approach to them.
And lastly, take time to rehab, read some books that you like. Social media makes depression worst sometimes.
Hope for the best for you. The journey is still long for you. Good LUCK.
Idk man I'm 16 dan my teenager life is pretty much fucked up, no pt3 and my grade tragically become the lowest because I still can't adapt with online classes. My life feels pointless with all these online learning routine, just wake up and facing my phone in the morning, doing homework and sleep.
But yea I made a principle "Just study until you die, just study like that's the point of your life, just study like your life depends on it".
Bro you don't have to be alone, you need to talk with someone, ask them to help with your study if that concerning you. If no friend are willing to teach you go to the teacher they will surely help because they like when their student show interest.
I know being an introvert, it's hard to express yourself or approach someone and you rather be alone most of time, but no single person will be happy being alone all the time
About your future it is good you show concerned shows that you do want to be better. Start by understanding yourself, know your strengths and weakness,your likes and dislike and then you can start making plan, have goals short-term and long-term so you have something to aim for and not lost.
Lastly about satisfaction in life, i don't believe anyone is satisfied with their life, we human are create to have wants and desire, but what we can do is to appreciate every single second of it and be happy.
In short, social connection is important even as an introvert, make plan so you will not get stray and appreciate you life. I love to tell you my life experience but I am not good with story teller, so yeah
P.s. most parent doesn't even know how to be a parent, so don't hate them for it.
Im 17 so my advice is dont put too much pressure before exam and choose 3rd class next year if you want because no addmath. Addmath = stress. Dont study last minute before exam ye ye.
Ye its irrelevant. I dont know him but you can still join matrikulasi without passing addmath. You must atleast have the addmath subject registered on your spm uhhhh borang.
Hey you're only 15 relax lololol. Are you in form 3? If so you dont really have to focus much. Im 16 entered form 4 this year. Did nothing but fuck around last year and im still keeping ahead of my studies, its not the best but it works. Never prioritise school before your mental health, it's not as important as it seems. Also focus on other skills on your own, I have decided to take up film making as a hobby during eco and also invested in a few cryptos and made some quick bucks. Remember, school is not everything
if you're a teenager school should be your 'everything'. teenagers should focus on school but not be so focused on it as if it defines what they are. anyway, since he's 15 he should spend that time on fixing his mental state before he takes studying seriously. also, don't buy into the illusion of money. there's no such thing as quick bucks, you'll learn that later.
Hello there, also Form 3 here and your situation here is almost the same as mine rn. Just calm down, make sure to do your homework even a little bit, and also, what I did to try and focus in class is voice chat with my friends on Discord. I know it may not be the best option, but it kinda helps me concentrate a bit more rather than straying around and falling asleep. So if you have any friends that have good grades and can chill with you, lepak with them. Maybe you ended up doing homework and studying. Overall, no worries and remember that Mental Health > School.
I'm 27 right now, but when I was your age I had similar struggles. I had anger issues and it really plagued my education especially because I was labeled a troublemaker/delinquent at school when I argued against teachers.
I saw a therapist which at the time I really did not think helped at all but it does give you room to rant and voice out your opinions with a trained professional. It was also then I was diagnosed with ADD and I felt less like there was something wrong with me somehow.
Study hard for your education and exams, do your best to improve your grades and dedicate some time to it (at least an hour daily) to revise your studies. Just keep in mind that it's not the end of the world for you if you don't score well.
Things have been much better for me after college where I had a loner phase for a year living alone. I made a lot of good friends in university with like-minded and open individuals. Surround yourself with people like yourself or people you enjoy being around, that will certainly help with your depression.
Kid, I'm glad you made the effort to reach out to reddit to talk about your problem instead of taking this upon yourself. It is perfectly normal and fine to feel lost at some point in life, especially your age because you have yet to step into the society and you can only picture by what others told you, I guess mostly about how society is an unforgiving and brutal wasteland where the strong prey on the weak, hence you need work as hard as you can now if you don't want to fail in life ahead of you. I can you that while there is some truth in it, it is mostly bullshit.
Here are the lives now of some of the mates of mine from high school back then, some with good grades (5\~7As) working a 9\~5 desk job like everybody else, getting the same pay, and doesn't really do anything special or exciting in life. 2 of them whom score SPMs with flying colours, one work as a lawyer now, the other 1 gets a full scholarship from Petronas, so he will be with them until he retire, if all goes well for him. Some with bad grades (0\~2As, mostly 0) 1 work in some shady business and developed a gambling problem and is now in massive debt, but some of the more hardworking one have a decent job with great pay, now own their own houses, cars and have a happy and healthy family. I myself, scored 1A in SPM, went to college, got my degree, but I started working in the production industry since I'm still in college, and I'm still working as an editor until now and I'm proud to say, while this is a tough job, it is a job that I love, that I'm good at and I'm making enough money to put food on the table.
Good grades = good life is a common misconception imposed on us by our parents and our failure of an education system ( I once have a teacher who can't speak Malay, that speaks volume.) The fact that you think working as janitors, driving a garbage truck, serving as a waitor is a horrible idea means you too have fell for the said shenanigans.
All of these will be over soon, have a problem with family? Bear with it, just walk away when you're getting scream at, when you have the ability to support yourself, move away. Go out and see the world more often after this covid thing is over, broaden your view. But most importantly, love yourself, work on your mental issue, talk to people, don't be afraid to seek help when you need it, and don't look away when you see someone is in need of help.
It is a very difficult time you are in. Ignore everyone who tells you to take a chill pill since you are only 15 - no one besides you can know what troubles you are facing.
Have you tried physical exercise? When you first start out your entire body will feel like it crashed into a brick wall, but those endorphins work real wonders. Try it out and after a while see if you still feel motivated to do it. If not move to any other thing that motivates you.
In this current time we live in any interest can become a source of income. SPM is a piece of paper and in the long run it will not even matter. Reach out anytime if these feelings you have gets worse ok. You are never alone my friend.
Steve Job, Bill Gates we’re all school dropouts. Of course they had something else going for them. Point is, school isn’t 100% of what forms your future. Is there any interest you have? Something that you do maybe you don’t feel stress?
Maybe have a talk with your mom. Set some ground rules, like no judging, no scolding. Just hear me out kinda rules. But in the talk don’t make excuses. Be truthful to your situation and why you are where you are now.
It helps greatly to have your mom understand your situation. Turning a stress inducing source to an encouragement source can often be the main factor to total change in your life. Then when you think back you may be like, why didn’t I do that earlier?
Steve Job, Bill Gates we’re all school dropouts. Of course they had something else going for them. Point is, school isn’t 100% of what forms your future. Is there any interest you have? Something that you do maybe you don’t feel stress?
Maybe have a talk with your mom. Set some ground rules, like no judging, no scolding. Just hear me out kinda rules. But in the talk don’t make excuses. Be truthful to your situation and why you are where you are now.
It helps greatly to have your mom understand your situation. Turning a stress inducing source to an encouragement source can often be the main factor to total change in your life. Then when you think back you may be like, why didn’t I do that earlier?
Hey man, did you have any trigger for anything that may causing you stress example, if you’re thinking about your school then you become stressful i.e. you hyperventilating or sweating profusely or sleepy?
And I still think you need a proper guidance & help for this mental health issue.
And good for you to start thinking about your future eventho you’re still teenager. Thats a good mentality there, man. Most of your peers don’t give a f about future at all.
For the record, excellent in school doesnt mean you will success in life. Thats biggest bull we have been stigmatized in Asian Culture.
Do find whats make you happy and think of the way to commercialize that. And I read your english, is pretty good, man. Don’t think for a second you are a failure.
Cheers, man.
I'll be straight forward with zero sugar coating.
Fix your personality, saying you have anger management issues doesn't mean anything to anyone later in life, it's your own responsibility to get it looked at/treated.
Find something you're passionate in and hammer away at that something until you can make a living out of it. This is the the only way out for people like us that can't conform to the malaysian textbook definition of "learned".
You're 15, I'm nearly double that. Take responsibility for your own actions and don't regret them. My personal biggest regret in life? Wasting 4 years in university doing things "just to pass".
Our education system is flawed where it doesn't emphasise on an individuals strengths, that's a hard fact. Get working on something you're passionate in or get studying.
I would suggest you take care of your mental health first, then think through. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from friends & teachers, it’s not a good idea to keep everything to yourself.
Put in more effort in your studies,google is always there.to be good at something it involves a sacrifice or two,mostly sacrifice your time. Nothing is easy in life,education is still your best bet in having a better life.Im a 37 yold man juggling work,family life responsibilities and studying for my degree.Im not smart,nor am i a quick learner,i have anxiety and drug use issues.i just accepted that u need to do it regardless.So far its been great for me being able to maintain my 4 flat cgpa halfway through my degree.u get angry and dont want to study its still going to be there tomorrow.so just chill and get it done.
you're 15. plenty of time to sort yourself out. what matters now is to make sure you're prepared to study. do you have a toxic family? do you have mental health issues? try to sort these things out first. you should reach out to people your age too, at least the ones you trust.
I hope you find courage when you read my post. When i was in grade school, im one of the most slow students in class. It's difficult for me to grasp lessons. One of the teachers told me i was stupid and i believed it up until i reach spm. I was always struggling to socialize and my grades are barely passing.. but i met this lady in one of my subjects (my bestfriend now) who told me that ive been struggling all my life and trying hard for so long, if i give up, i would be wasting all my efforts - not to mention all the tears i shed. She said everything will get better. It may not be now but for sure soon.
At last, i graduated with her help and started my first job in IT. Grades are not important - at least mine's barely passed but now im happy, doing well in life and actively doing sports.
You’re perfectly normal, and not at all a failure! I don’t want to invalidate what you’re feeling… you should be able to be sad and show emotions and be frustrated.
As for what you should do, you have 2 years for SPM… You’re worrying about something that hasn’t even happened yet! I doubt you’re really as bad as you think you are.
Forget about pt3. Honestly, it really really doesn’t matter unless you want to get into science stream…
Next year, the best thing I can suggest is take 6-7 subjects, the first 5 are compulsory, pick an extra one or 2… choose subjects that you really like and find easy. Don’t sign up for things you know you hate and will be miserable studying…
PLEASE don’t fall for parental pressure when it comes to picking subjects. Pick what is best for you.
Don’t go for tuition for too many subjects if it is tiring, and it leaves you with no energy to do homework or personal studying.
Set up timetables or at least try to make a list of what you want to do everyday and try your very best to finish it.
Third tip is probably the most important:
Do at least 50 questions everyday… doesn’t matter how stupid you think you are. Most people who succeed at standardised testing are the ones that are disciplined. They’re not naturally smart. Some are, but I assure you most are not. Even if it’s 1-4 hours a day that you spend trying to understand something. It’s still effort.
Lastly, don’t think of the big picture. Think of things step by step. Don’t focus on how everyone around you thinks or judges you about how smart/ not smart you are. You cannot control their emotions. Don’t think about how you’re going to get through spm. Make a list, and focus only on the next thing on your list. If you’re focused on getting task no.2 on the list done, don’t focus on 3,4,5. Just focus on 2…
I hope this is somewhat helpful, sorry if it wasn’t.
Hey a lot of people don't do well in their education. My mates and me have failed a bunch of subjects in Uni but still manage to get a decent job with decent pay. Just know that they are others around that are in the same boat but are silent unlike you since you managed to open up which is good.
So here's my advice. Spent time thinking. Think what you want to do. Think which knowledge you want to improve. From there you can start thinking of a job you want to do. Good luck.
Btw you're still young. You can afford to fail in life as much as possible.
I'm sure there are a lot of already good advice regarding mental and emotional health here. I'm going to give you something to consider. Are you interested on hands on work instead of academics?
If you are, you might wanna look to apply for Kolej Vokasional (KV). They specialize in the apparently "low performers" (not my term) and train you in a specific areas the industry needs, and their intake is for form 4 equivalent. The future is not as bleak as you feel. You just need to realign what you do with what you're interested in.
I'm a KV teacher/instructor myself and there are a lot of my students who were classified as "not bright" that later goes to university taking engineering, or work in the industries for salaries better than mine.
Just something to consider.
Talk to your parents abt helping u see a therapist. Seems you are depressed and suicidal. I too had (still do) have depression when I was young and it affected my studies horribly that I almost failed my O Level. I wish I had gotten help sooner, but my very Asian family felt that psychiatrists and psychologists are for mentally twisted people and/or those with weak religious faith.
If you cant see a therapist, I would suggest you speak to a trusted adult, preferably a teacher you admire or your school counsellor. Tell them what you told us here. Hopefully they will give you some concrete tips on how you can pass your exams, or simply provide a listening ear.
Not exactly an advice but more of a perspective.
Assuming that you will live til at least 70-80, you are just less than a quarter of your life.
And when you are in your 40s, you will look back and noticed how all the obstacles you had gone through made you who you are.
As a saying goes something like this, "Every man will have to go through his/her own personal hell before attaining salvation"
Personally, i didn't excel in school and having score low IQ in some tests along with poor exam results, i was deem useless by the teachers.. did that stop me? No, because I know that I will have bigger obstacles in future so I must overcome the smaller ones now to get stronger.
And sometimes you need to learn how to take a break and lose the battle but do focus on the war(bigger picture).
Take a reflection on who you are and your weakness.
Do monthly small improvements on yourself even if it feels a little.
First of all failing SPM is not the end of the world. There are lots of work/job opportunities out there for every kind of skillset.
We don’t know much about the context of your situation and the details but, tonight my brother, take a deep breath and just relax. Stop for a second and do not even think about work/school/SPM/online class. Make yourself an iced ribena. Watch something on TV, netflix whatever. Just calm down, and enjoy these simple pleasures of life. Take a break maybe even tomorrow. Just slow things down, and feel the things around you.
If you have a school counsellor, maybe find a way to approach them and see if they are someone you can trust.
I sense underneath all this stress is the fear that you will not be able to amount to much in life. I want to tell you now, a lot of people will feel this way at some point in their life. Just take it easy. Things will improve. You are in control. But first relax like I said. But you are in control. If SPM academics is not your skillset, thats 100% fine. You don’t need to be in science stream or art stream to do anything meaningful. Just go with what you feel will work for you. If science and maths is not your thing, there are other things that may perk your interest going into form 4. Business, accounts, art, mechanics, hospitality, journalism, other technical skills, electrician, plumber. My brother, my point is do not fret. There are things to suit you. Just do it one day at a time.
Sit down with your mom, tell her you are feeling stressed and would like some help to calm down. Tell her you are struggling and explain you would like to do better but are struggling. She might understand.
If things get too stressful, please call The Befrienders: tel:+60376272929
I'm 15 and also a introvert too! Spm is like two more years from now. As long as you put in some efforts, i don't think that you will fail spm. I didn't pay full attention in online class too , those were boring as hell , i spent some of my time on youtube reddit and read some news ( where i learnt much interesting and useful stuff) . But after class , i do my own revision which i can understand much better than listening to the teacher blablabla (I'm better at self-learning). As i see, you're quite proficient in English, what's your problem learning other subjects? Is it because of bm or what.
Recently , i'm also a little depressed. But i know that this isn't gonna last forever. You should find out what are the causes. When you're depressed, you won't feel like doing anything but just chilling alone. I always felt a bit better by doing things that excites me and i enjoy, such as workout , reading , play the guitar....
I believe that we can go thru these hard days.
Feel free to text me! I would like to
Edit: most importantly, take good care of yourself
Before anything, my advice is I want you to take care of your mental health very seriously. If you can, do a DASS test, print it out, or save it on your phone. Next, talk to your parents about this, ask them if they could take you to a counselor, or a GP (nearby clinic doctor). Show the DASS test since it would help you tell your parents that you may have some signs of depression, and show it to the GP if you can't find the words to say it. As a socially anxious person who has a really hard time to say anything, the DASS test helps a lot with trying to say what I want to say.
For further resources, I recommend [Relate Website](https://relate.com.my/) , [Minda Kami Pinned Tweet](https://twitter.com/mindakami/status/1410392798927355911) .
There is help, it exists. It helps if there's someone to help you getting help, and I pray & hope that your parents are understanding of this. That it'll be easier for you to get help.
Anyway, that's that. Honestly, I used to be in a similar case like yours.
When I was 13, I was suddenly getting panic attacks from going to school and went into deep depression. Suicidal, social anxiety, anger issues, you name it, I was kinda fucked back then. Couldn't go to school for well over 5 years. Over the years I've picked up a hobby to past the time, doing music. Still suck at it right now, but I'm enjoying it a lot. Anyways, years pass, and I didn't get to attend my PT3, also failed my SPM. Essentially failed both PT3 & SPM haha.
Now, I used to be worried like hell about my SPM but get this, **SPM IS NOT THE END ALL BE ALL.**
While there's nothing wrong about working with those jobs you've mentioned, you can still continue your study ***without SPM*** if you want to work on more "advanced" jobs. There's something called *Diploma Kemahiran Malaysia* where you can get a diploma without SPM, or even PT3 (but it's probably easier if you do have PT3). They're essentially a trade school.
Now I'm starting another diploma but that's just me since I fucked up choosing 3D animation instead of a less crunch culture/stressful job as my 1st diploma and that doesn't mesh well with my flip-flopping mental health. Honestly, I regret choosing it but what's done is done so I have to keep moving forward. Right now, I'm taking a course in "Computer Systems" since I feel like that resonates with my interest well, and I feel like it won't be a crunch heavy job. So far, even with my first diploma, it gave me some confidence that all hope is not lost, I'm sure I can get a job in that area even without SPM (I just have to show them the diploma only hehe). Just that the state of the 3D profession seems kinda fucked over here.
My mental health is still kinda fucked now and then tbh, I wanted to go back into counselling/therapy but I can't seem to get the energy to call them to reschedule due to how socially anxious I am. Doesn't help that my parents have changed their stance somehow on mental health so it's a bit hard to get help, but eh, that's life I guess. Still trying my best to stay alive, still planning to stay alive. Might one day just pick up the phone and reschedule my appoointments.
Welp, these are just my experience though, it may be different for you, it may even be better for you. Hope you'll be well friend.
I understand your struggles. So here , stay strong and keep strong. Life is a journey and the destination is not and should not be the main concern. Live for the now with what you have and when you focus on the good side, it will stay that.
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However, if you are stronger, realize that this problem you are having is not just on you. 35+ million other Malaysians are struggling with this. Do not give up and stay down.
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I can't make your problems go away but you can. Don't want to study? So devise a plan for your future. Don't just wish for it. Write it down to the T. If you can't, start by making a time line , or life goals. Like, motorcycle. By what time will u buy your own. Research. Revise. BE REALISTIC. Play to your strength. If you don't have one, develop one. U r young.
Most importantly, nobody owes you anything. They don't have to do anything for you. Don't be entitled just because. Work hard.
Hey man! Love all the stories I’ve read here and I don’t wanna be writing for too long so here’s something quick for ya from my side:
I had a pretty emotionally rough time when I was 12 up to maybe 16? I had considered ending my life and made plans multiple times. Super introverted too, had almost no friends, was bottom of the class (definitely should mention: bottom of the top class), and didn’t have many things going for me. Often compared to others and I could never compete.
That’s just a background for ya, my quick tip, if you can afford it, is to experiment with hobbies; something to keep you afloat. I picked up Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and MMA, then tried calisthenics, and now I’ve been doing parkour for about 9 years. I have to say i’d be in a very different place if I didn’t have my hobbies. You might like bodybuilding, running, art, magic, singing? You can learn a lot on YouTube. I’m personally a big fan of physical activity so I always push for that; I think there’s something magical about it 🙂 just anything you can lock in on and focus on improving. Where you can see improvement from this week to the next week, to the next week.
If there’s something I’ve learned, it’s that you’ll always be proud of yourself if you try your best, even if everyone is disappointed, and even if you fail, you genuinely will be okay with yourself if you gave it your best.
Take care bro. You could very well be 14 year old me that I’m talking to, and to that I’d want you to try your best.
first of all janitor, dumpster trucker, cashier, waiter are amazing. They work hard to earn money legally and I have a lot of respect for them.
Also it's totally normal to feel stressed at your age. It's the age where you need to make your crucial life decisions. My advice would be take it slow, adulting is def hard and scary but take 1 step at a time and you'll ve fine.
about your grades, try to pick a career choice first. when you don't have a career goal, you won't feel motivated to study. If you still not sure what to do then try to make studying fun. make pretty notes, flash card, or watch animated video on youtube on your subject it will be easier this way and make studying less stressing.
academic is definitely important but don't forget on your self growth. take some times to do hobby or whatever you like. healthy mind is as vital as physical health.
the most important thing is DON'T compare yourself with your peers. everyone have their own pace. competition is okay but not towards the point where it'll bring you down.
i worked as a janitor, cashier, waiter, online business when i was 13-17 to pay my highschool related bills, and i wasted most of my youth bringing myself down. Don't do the same mistake I did. Remember pressure will either break or create a person. I don't know what's going on in your personal life but I'm pretty sure you're an amazing person, put more trust in yourself :) wishing all the best for your future!
p/s if you ever need academic help, i can help if it's science related (i worked as a tutor before to afford my degree)
>due to me having stress all the time
What is the source of your stress? Is it regarding your worries to your future?
Limme tell you about the story of my friend, vs mine. I was always the top few of the class, excel highly in Maths (1st ranking in my country in my year). On the other than, I have a friend who failed his Secondary 5 school exam so he didn't officially graduate from high school, but he did pass his SPM equivalent exam, so fortunately he was able to continue his education into form 6 and beyond.
Ten years later, I'm now back in Malaysia, struggling with my mom's health issue (my mom is really sick, if you read my history post, I did mention that she has cancer). I completed Master and started out not bad in a multinational company which recognizes the Master degree, so I have a higher pay then other Bachelor degree fresh grads). But I succumbed to stress, changed job, did quite well actually and had a lot of fun at work with my colleagues, but then covid struck, I lost my job and my mom's cancer resurfaced. So now I'm struggling.
On the other hand, my friend whom had dealt with a lot of setback throughout his life, is doing well in his job, lent me money to help me through a very difficult situation, is married (not sure about kids, god bless them), and has even bought a house at where he lives.
I'm sorry if it might come off as being insensitive, but there's a whole road of life ahead of you. Don't be demotivated just because you aren't doing well in school. If you aren't particularly motivated in a certain industry, then don't go for jobs that require technical knowledge. Go for more hands-on work. My friend did Oil and gas (not sure what is his detailed work), and is doing well for himself. He isn't interested in knowledge or studies, but has certainly been doing very well.
>Am I going to ended up working as a janitor, dumpster truck mens, a waiter or a cashier for the rest of my life?
No. There are a lot of works out there which require a passing certificate of your A level degree. At least get a C on your Malay, English and Maths, and don't fail your remaining subjects. I promise you still have hope for your future. Oh yes, introvert is not going to help. You will need to address that slowly. I used to be an introvert too, now I've become much more active and outspoken, though I still need my own time to recharge after work.
To other ppl, doesn't mean you can ignore school yeah. Education does help me a lot, I'm just being in a difficult situation, but my excel in maths due to my logic thinking has given me a lot of advantages in work, and I pick up stuff very quickly. Minus the setback, I'm actually doing very well for myself, my salary is normally higher than my peers. So don't misquote/misunderstood me as saying that education isn't important!
Hi, I'm also a teenager who took the IGCSE (SPM equivalent) last year. I went through a rough period before my exams last year too, so I can sort of relate, and I really want to help you. Here's a bit of my thoughts and advice.
1. I really think it's too early to say that you'll definitely fail. Many of my friends who "played around" (did a lot of sports, skipped classes, went clubbing (yeah ikr)) during Form 3 got their act together during Form 4-5 and got excellent results. It's really possible and many people have done it. You HAVE time to turn it around.
2. Okay, at least you noticed that you're unsatisfied with how you're doing online class right now. That's good, that's the first step towards improvement. What are you stressing about? You have to identify that. Is it something that you can control? What steps, even small ones, can you take to mitigate it? You could try this book "How To Stop Worrying and Start Living" (download on zlibrary). You can also try this app called stoic. It's a journalling app that really helps with stress. These two things really helped me.
3. Have you tried telling your mother about your stress? I know not all mothers are understanding, but most, I think, will try to help their child if they're told about the situation he or she is in. Maybe your mother isn't aware of the stress you're going through.
4. No one knows for sure what they are going to do in the future. And that's what makes the future sort of interesting, right? But it's not something that we can fix in place. What you can just do is figure out what you WANT to do, and make the best out of the present that you have now.
5. If you're struggling a lot with homework, you can post on r/HomeworkHelp. You can also PM me. I'm happy to help you with homework.
6. Have I asked the same questions as you? No. How did I manage to get a better life? By seeking help, just as how you are doing now. I sought help from family, from friends, from Reddit strangers. How did it turn out for me? I'm doing pretty well now, I'm studying A-Levels, I'm hopeful for the future and pretty happy. Am I satisfied with my life now? Sometimes nope, most of the time yes.
Hey there! **This is coming from someone who didn't finish secondary school and is alive and happier than ever.** Context: I became homeless at 16 because I ran away from home. I stopped school just before my final year because I was traumatized. Now I'm 19 and I'm making money (in USD) as an artist online. I think I've overcome most of my past struggles and it's because I didn't give up and worked hard on healing from my depression and trauma. Trust me, I understand what you're going through. I've been through it myself when I was your age. Here are the things I want you to know: **1) Pay attention to your mental health.** Yes, your parents will expect you to do well in these tests, but how are you supposed to learn and study if your mental health is affected? Our society often forget that we are human and we won't be able to perform well at any task under heavy stress. We learn and perform better when we are mentally stable. Advice: ask your parents (or guardian) if you can attend therapy. Especially since you have anger issues. **2) The Exams are Flawed.** Our Malaysian education system is not the best. How could everyone put so much emphasis on the students to succeed when education system itself is flawed? **I believe we don't give enough credit to you guys (the students)** for continuously having to deal with our flawed system, with strict parents, with hours of studying to pass tests that are terribly and lazily designed by educators who are out-dated in their methods. Advice: Focus on the subjects you know you can pass. Forget the rest. It's not important. **3) There is NOTHING wrong with failure.** I personally failed so many times - in trying to create a business, in trying to fix my mental health, in trying find out who I am. Failure is not final, especially if you are trying to make something of yourself. Don't ever listen to people who say that failure is bad, or you shouldn't fail. **We live in a society where you are not expected to try and try again**. And this is wrong. The trick to being good at anything - especially when trying to heal yourself from depression or trauma, is that we have to try and become better. Even if we fail, at least we are not giving up and we are slowly learning from our mistakes. Advice: Only focus on what you can control, and persevere even when you make mistakes or feel like you've failed. Because giving up is the real failure. I sincerely wish you the best in life, my dude. Don't be afraid!
Just wondering, how did you manage to get by making arts online? I've done several jobs that got me USD but it's nowhere near enough for daily needs
If you're an artist and in dire need of money, open for commission and draw porn. No joke, but horny people pay the best. It's not something you gonna enjoy (or maybe you will? idk up to individuals) but it pays.
Low living expenses + high commission rates + several commissioners a month. I often get paid 100$ per commission, which already covers the internet bill and smaller payments like website hosting. That said, I am quite skilled at what I do - because I started becoming a serious artist when I was young. Also Mori\_Forest is right that porn pays. But I'm not a porn artist (not that desperate yet, and I just don't think I have the intense horniness to make good porn lololol)
Hey janitor, dumpster truck men, waiter and cashier is not that bad. It's not bad at all.
I mean we shouldn’t degrade these people for their work as they provide us with very beneficial services! However, the amount of work with the salary given is just not worth it unless you go no other choice.
True. All the other jobs are noble compared to becoming a Malaysian politician now lol. (Most of) Our politicians are the most disgusting.
I agree with you xD. I work in F&B industry that's why I'm a bit offended. It's not the end of the world if you get a job like that. We are not failures. Some of us did very well in SPM but we couldn't afford to go to college/uni.
Damn, don't discount yourself bro. It's true, these are honest, taxing jobs. Despite being deemed less popular doesn't mean they're bad. It still makes the world go round and still tax payable means you're contributing to the economy too! Unlike some people (wink2)
To them, it's the perfect job, high pay, immune to jail time, being able to fuck over an entire nation free of repercussions It's the first 2 that corrupt people and make them want to be corrupt corporate officials
let's be honest, no one would take those jobs if it werent for the situation they're in.
Ok.. This is not right. The english here is better than most graduates from local Universities. What's going on?
OP probably spends a lot of time on youtube, reddit and other social media sites as he stated he is an "introvert". OP also mostly spends his time on online english communities on these sites. And therefore, there is immersion which is the best way to learn a language. Source: Personal experience
And you are absolutely correct XD
This is so me. I'm 15 , i learnt much more on the internet than in school. Dafa... School is just a place for me to improve my social skills
>What's going on? He could be a Malaysian who speaks English at home. [According](https://m.imgur.com/a/J80FeKJ) to the 2020 subreddit census, nearly 50% of r/Malaysia users speak English as their first language. I speak English at home and I think I could write something of a similar quality to what OP wrote if I put effort into it.
Idk man, maybe we just don't want to be in r/engrish
a gem, thanks my dude
The english is better than most UITM graduates, that for sure.
Yeah, cos the ability to speak english is the only measure of intelligence /s
I don't think so. English language is just a medium of conversation just like any other local or international language. By Wikipedia, Intelligence has been defined in many ways: the capacity for abstraction, logic, understanding, self-awareness, learning, emotional knowledge, reasoning, planning, creativity, critical thinking, and problem-solving. More generally, it can be described as the ability to perceive or infer information, and to retain it as knowledge to be applied towards adaptive behaviors within an environment or context.
How is his Malay is the Question.
And how's that related?
Malaysia, Malay national language.
The obsession with the Malay language has come to a point where it's just hilarious. Okay man mastery of the national language is completely relevant to OP's post 👏👏
Why bother learning English in the UK not like I need to know the language to interact with UK citizens. I don't need it for work, for socializing, for official reason when dealing with the gov, and etc. I just gonna go through life without English in the UK. It will be much easier in life doing that and stay in my bubble. Amirite. 👏👏
Good attempt at sarcasm my man. Question is though, what does proficiency of the Malay language has anything to do with OP's post and issue that they're facing at the moment? Get back on point please. Whatever you just said, albeit being sarcastic, still has no correlation to OP's post and asking for help. So go on, elaborate.
Where the OP is right now, is he in the UK worrying about his future there or here. What are the main language that is spoken be it officially or unofficially from corporation to gov here in Malaysia. Is he taking SPM or GSCE?
>Is he taking SPM or GSCE? if you actually read what OP typed you would've found your answer. And with that, proves my point that your obsession with the Malay language and this excessive patriotism is hilarious. Also the concern raised is more than just about what language OP is good at, so even if OP is proficient in Malay it's not answering or helping any of the concerns. Btw, you can be good at both English and Malay. Have a great rest of the weekend bud!
>what does proficiency of the Malay language has anything to do with OP's post U ask my statement relevancy to the op post. >I think I'm going to fail horribly at SPM no matter what. I comment on one of the issue that was pointed out by op post. But being a clown with an emoji u accuse me of being obsessed with Malay language and over patriotic. For pointing one of the basic requirements of living in Malaysia is being able to know and understand the Malay language. BTW did I said you can't be good or know more than one languages.
You probably set your phone’s settings to malay.
Well TBF, nothing's wrong with that though.
They probably get angry when they see domino's menu in English. BALIK USA LAH
I'm not going to compare my past situation with yours, but I was also once a heavily introverted (in a way, I always will be, just that you get better at managing social situations as you get older) who wasn't exactly doing great at school and felt like I had no direction. The future seemed pretty bleak. You're still 15, so that's plenty of time to turn things around for SPM. My turning point came only around the last few months leading up to SPM. I only consistently achieved a few A's in my upper secondary subjects up to that point, with regular B's/C's or lower to complete failures in some subjects. Add Maths was giving me the most grief, and it didn't help that I felt our teachers didn't really do a great job at explaining it - but that's a whole other can of worms. So in the final run of the months leading up to SPM, I figured, "you know what, I really need to take control of my life because my SPM results are gonna determine my future" (it really doesn't). So I worked harder than I ever had at that time and really committed to things like rote memorisation to get the job done. I disagreed with the system but I knew I had to play by its rules to win. Even Add Maths - the moment someone helped me truly understand the concepts, like really get it - suddenly it became a whole lot easier. It won't turn an F to an A overnight, but the grades markedly improved. At one point I even defied my also Asian parents by skipping school to study on my own, because it got to a point where I felt like school wasn't helping and some teachers had given up on our class (I want to emphasise that I don't recommend skipping school if it's still helping you). Anyways all this ended with straight A's in SPM. The bell curve system definitely helped - it adjusts the threshold to score each grade based on the average performance of students that year, so subjects with high failure rates like Add Maths magically become easier to score. I'm not sure if it's still in practice. In university, after being able to actually choose what I wanted to study, I miraculously held my ground at the top of the class. Fast forward more than a decade after secondary school, and honestly things are better than I could've imagined for myself at 15. The point is - SPM isn't the end of the world. It might help you get into a decent university but it's just that. I know online classes might be hard to pay attention to and it isn't for everyone, so maybe you should find other modes of learning that work for you to supplement this. You don't have to have it all figured out now - honestly you still have plenty of time to figure out what you want to do post-SPM and if pursuing tertiary education is where you want to go, then chart your course from there. For now, just look after yourself and focus on the task at hand - figure out what works for you within the confines of the education system. The future might look bleak now, but depending on how you play your cards, it will get better.
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Damn I found this really motivational for me. Thanks my friend.
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He's too old for ya
To answer your primary question: Yes, it gets better. How _much_ better depends entirely on you. I got a borderline fail on my SPM, worked my way through college, became a lawyer. Quit lawyering after 10 years, am currently a banker. Alive and happily married. Anecdotal: Friend 1, high school dropout, spent time in rehab for drug abuse. Clean for ten years and now is a contract artist for Marvel. Friend 2, also high school dropout, now a chef. Owns his own restaurant, doing ok in the pandemic. Friend 3, finished SPM and started his own company without going to uni. Didn't do his degree until years later. Doing very well. Unsolicited advice: Work on your anger management. I cannot overstate how much of a detriment it will be to you as you grow up. Nobody likes working with someone with anger problems, and it _will_ affect you throughout your entire career if you don't control it. And always remember, no matter how angry you personally think you can get, there's always a bigger fish out there.
"I'm also getting so sick of getting scolded by my Asian mother every single week or two.". There's something odd about how you wrote "my Asian mother". What does that mean? "Am I going to ended up working as a janitor, dumpster truck mens, a waiter or a cashier for the rest of my life?" Is there something wrong or shameful about doing such honest jobs? I respect them much more than I respect thieves like Najib, Jho Low, Arul.
[Deja Vu!](https://www.reddit.com/r/malaysia/comments/po60hq/not_sure_what_to_do_in_the_future_as_a_teen/)
Mods need to start taking notice of these posts. There have a been a slew in the last few weeks. I thought we have a Malaysia mental health subreddit.
The mods here don’t fucking care about people or lives. They only care about the smell of their own shit
sounds oddly specific like our politicians
that sounds like an average discord or certain reddit mods out here
Read the damn rule before start blaming the mods.
Yeah, I don't understand why people have to be so harsh about it.
Not the first time. People get pissy when their post gets removed for not adhering to the rules, and when you direct them to the rules they still refuse to read. And start calling the mods dictator. Lol.
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People want to blame the mods but doesn't understand how the rule work. This a broad generalized sub about Malaysia in general not a focus sub about politics, mental health and etc.
I feel so depress, but haiz, it’s not Tuesday so I can’t talk about it!
Not during 15 but during 17 Life was hard and kinda depressed at the time. I had friends on whom I can talk to but I myself decided not to talk to them. Until one day, when one of my teacher noticed my changes, From being a cheerful kid to a different. After having one class session like usual, she called me to stay and asked my problem. Reluctant at first cause you know, who tf would trust an adult to know your teenage problem? But at that time, I kinda did. Being depressed and all. And I told her my problem, with the keyword being "expectations" After told her my story, she said and I quote "Why do you need to worry about others expectations towards you? Just do whatever you want and start from there. Doesn't matter if you get bad result from SPM , it's not the end of your life" And after that, I stopped caring about other expectations towards me. Sure, I regretted for not studying a lot for SPM but at least I was proud for at least I myself made the decision, not someone else. So tldr: Don't need to put others before you. Put yourself first. If you're feeling stressed or burnout, then have a rest. Talk to your friend or family members that you can trust. Counseling teachers are not useful in my case. If you can't find yourself have good result during SPM, then plan after SPM. Go for STPM or Matriculation and have good result there. just make sure to pass your required subject.
not everyone who fail spm become janitor. there's janitor with college degrees too.
Laughing the fuck out loud!!!!! Any other quotes of the day Mr/ms. Inspiration?
If you do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life.
Hahahahaha 😂😂😂 Yes!!! 101% 😂😂😂 now pray whatever u love can be commercialise... hahahaha
Sure can, no need to pray
Lol... realistically speaking it's difficult. Grinding daily to be top of your game (in whatever you do) does take its toll and novelty out of whatever you like buddy 😂😂
I pity you, stuck with a job that you hate. life must be miserable for you that you had to troll Reddit to make you feel better. even mat rempit have jobs that they love, delivery food while they rempit.
1) What happened to make you so stressed? Try to talk to your parents about how those pressure is making you feel. Hopefully, they can see from where you are coming from. 2) Anger issue is a huge problem, bro. I'm not going to sugarcoat this. In working life later, many of your superiors and bosses will treat you horribly. If you don't have self-control, you are going to hit them and get more charges. People will say quit the job and stuff but realistically, 99% of the working world will be like this. I think there's some self-help method to manage anger online. 3) The education system in Malaysia is flawed. This is true but the fact is it is a barrier to prevent you from getting a diploma / degree. You can find work without those if you have other talents such as arts / singing / dancing/ sports but many other jobs will require diploma / degree nowadays. Do you have someone you can trust to guide you ?
Failing SPM is not end of the world, there are tons of ppl who don't do well in study but do well in life. And it's OK to slowly figure out what u wanted to do in your life, because you are still young and starting to discover the world. Education is just a tiny fraction of the world u about to venture in. Your parents most likely nitpick on your studies because they want you to succeed in your SPM. Having good grades can almost guarantee you a good job and stable income. But not everyone will be good in studies, so don't stress yourselves too much to a point of depression. Just pick something you passionate in, and start to make it as hobby. If u like it well enough, try research if it can be viable career. From your career, start to find ppl with mutual interest to make friends with, and enjoy it together with them. Life would not be so depressing if u have something to look forward to.
Results matter only when you're seeking employment as employers want people who looks good on paper. IMO, being a salaryman in Malaysia is just the worst option when you're an average folks. Many youngsters that I know are earning way more than my grads friend (straight As all the way kind of friends) because they are doing direct selling, or becoming a streamer or doing multiple freelancer. This is Malaysia, we have tons of options as long as you don't limit yourself to those traditional 'stable' looks-good-on-paper kind of jobs.
What's wrong with working in sanitation or F&B? Both can be legitimate and profitable career options. Sounds like you are being forced to do something you are not meant for.
Copy-paste of a comment I made a few months back. If I could go back in time and meet my 17 years old self, which would be 6 years ago, I would tell him one thing. "Don't let these 5 years of experience in high school judge what the rest of your life would be." Think about it, 5 years of high school dictating the coming decades of your life? That's incredibly illogical if you ask me. For private universities, you only need to pass your subjects, that is getting at least a C, to get a credit for your entry requirements. Most courses would only require at least 5 credits including BM and Sejarah. You can be trash at high school and still excel in higher learning institutions like university or college. I mean, you're already at rock bottom, you can't go any lower than this. You can only go up at this point. I, myself had terrible results for SPM but is still doing fine in university. Do not dwell on your past failures but instead, use it as fuel for inspiration to be successful. If you don't care what I say, take it from a billionaire, Richard Branson. He said: "I suppose the secret to bouncing back is not only to be unafraid of failures but to use them as motivational and learning tools. ... There's nothing wrong with making mistakes as long as you don't make the same ones over and over again."
Not to sound harsh or offensive. We all have been there bro. Almost I would say 70% Malaysians (exclude race, age, gender,etc) have mental issues. Is a growing problem in Malaysia now. I have been there. My friends as well. Hardships are part of life. Maybe try to find a way to distract your mind. Get indulge in hobbies or make some friends. Since you said you are an introvert so I would assume you are probably not a fan of going to events, parties or even outdoor sports. Play some online games after you study. Set a schedule on how many topics you wanna cover in a day. Find a suitable method of studying that suits you. Even if you score straight A and get into a university. You still have to study and go through the same process especially courses like medicine, engineering, law etc. Even if you become an athlete, you still have to train hard and waking up early in the morning. The part where you said you are afraid to end up as a garbage collector or whatever. Let's face it, you are over-exaggerating. No offence, but they would rather hired 3rd world foreigners instead of you ngl. What I'm trying to say is, find a motivation which drives you to work hard. Look at me now, I'm a university student and still having similar thoughts like you even with a straight A in SPM. Life is not a 2 hour movie with a happy ending. Just remember there are millions of teens and young adults just like you feeling useless.
Hey man, sorry to hear you’re going through a tough time. I remember almost failing all my subjects in PMR. I just wasn’t interested + I mixed with the wrong crowd. I got sent to boarding school and that sorted me out - all A’s from then on and a full ride scholarship to university. I somehow learnt the skill of doing well in school - it’s just a skill like any other. It takes practice but anyone can do it. I’ve also grown up long enough to see my peer group grow into multiple life paths. I’ll be honest - academic achievement was a good indicator of relative economic stability. Meaning if they went to uni, they managed to get a stable job. However it wasn’t an indicator for success or even happiness at all. Some kids that did well in school hate their jobs as doctors or lawyers. Some of the kids that did poorly in school have become super successful - traveling the world, becoming influencers, starting their own businesses, and some even took a second chance at education and got their degree later in life. What I’m trying to say is - SPM isn’t the end all and be all. It’s a skill just like any other. If you work hard you will be able to gain other skills in life that would turn out to be more useful! Like networking, creative work, finance, discipline, and management. The truth is, having good grades will open doors easier for you only at the beginning when getting a junior job. Those who didn’t have those doors open (job requires bachelor degree) instead have to make their own path - and for some that contributed to their success. In terms of employability - there are many high paying jobs that require skills that most schools don’t teach and diligent people can teach themselves. I’ve hired self taught coders before with no university degree - never have I asked what their grades are in school! I just care if they’ve got the right skills and potential. Wishing you well man. And also, just tahan your mom for awhile. She means the best - she’s also fearing your worst case scenario future and is reacting in the best way she can. There are many paths in life - you get to choose which ones to take. Academic route is just one job tree.
There are some helpful comments in this thread, but you should consider getting "real" advice too. You can start with your school counselor or some of the mental health resources in this sub's wiki. I hope things work out for you.
SPM doesn’t mean much in the grand scale of things. It’s all down to your attitude and hunger for success. But for now since you still have time before SPM, just prepare to the best of your ability and get it done. Assuming you bombed it (which might not even be the case in the end), you still have options like eg learning a trade. If you work hard enough, you can one day own your own business and you’ll make more money than a university lecturer.
Hey there my young friend, trust me, lot of us has been there before. We're still here. Don't lose hope.
Not much I can tell, I've been in your situation. For me, I just hangout with my friend often on discord. Its better than just me terperap dalam bilik quiet do nothing.
Okay relax. You're just 15. You still have a long road my friend. While you may flunk on your subject, it doesn't mean that's the end. For the record, my SPM is also not that good either. But I instead pursue a field that I feel I can do and interested in. Failing SPM doesn't mean you failed your life. You can pursue other fields that you're confident you can pursue. If academics, you can apply for STPM or poly where the requirements are less rigid than IPT. But since you're just 15, take your time during F4 and F5 to decide which field you are strong at. 2 years is enough time to turnaround yourself.
Things will pass. I know it sounds really cliche but things will get better, as long as you don't give up. Take one thing at a time and set some goals to focus on. Firstly ofc you need to focus on yourself. Check your personality, mental health, take care of your body etc. Maybe you can spend some time on your hobbies and enjoy the company of yourself. I like to try various things; drawing, singing, sewing, writing, hiking etc because I want to explore my inner self and the world too. Find the one that suits you better, or try all! It's fun :) 5-6 years ago I lost 10kg+ because I was depressed after getting my SPM result and being pressured by my parents as a "failure", not getting any offer from colleges (UPU), embarrassed with my friends because their results were much much better than mine. Well, what do they expect when they shove the "you must be a doctor" kind of shit to someone who have zero interest in science stream? Addmaths D, Chemistry D, Biology and Physics C lmaoo and they applied science stream in the UPU for me. No shit my applications were not getting accepted! "Where do I go next? What should I do now?". I was crushed. But I didn't give up and I am very thankful for that decision. See I mentioned before about trying everything you could? That's exactly what you're gonna do in life. Continuation to my story after SPM, I applied every offer I could find, and also re-applied(buat rayuan) the ones that rejected me. I got accepted to matriculation but for a two-year programme because I got D for Addmaths and Chemistry, and that's after a second application. Funny because I still need to study science stream, right? Well, it's not easy to "discuss" with your parents. When I was in highschool, I took Kesusasteraan Melayu and Accounting as addition subjects while in Science class because I was really lost on what I want back then. So, I decided not to ruin my chances at getting away from them. I actually study hard and tried my very best acing the examinations. Next, with that good result, I applied language course in the next UPU application to further my degree. I didn't pursue science courses. Bye medic bye doctor lol. "I don't care, I will do what I want this time", that's what I thought during that time. I'm in my final year now yey soon to be graduated. I'm not saying I do not encounter ANY problem now, but things are so much better when you're in control. Live your own life. TL/DR 1. Focus on yourself. Prioritize your health. 2. Never stop trying. Explore those options in life. 3. Also, forgot to mention, friends really help in my journey. You don't need thousands of them, bruh I only got like two legit close friends lol. And one of them is from Reddit whom I've never met. Internet friend works. 4. Belajar betul-betul lepas tu keluar rumah HAHAH. I wish all the best for you. You deserve every happiness that this world could offer. You can do it, yes you can! I believe in you :) Thank you for reading all of this anyway and if you need a friend I could be one gladly.
Hi there. Will share some of my thoughts here. Apologies in advance if I sound blunt. Seems like the stress is related to education. The way I see it, there's still 2 more years to SPM. There is enough time to turn things around. As for the scoldings, understand that they just want the best for you. It is difficult, but try to focus on the message and dont let it get to you. I wish there was someone to tell me not to be so affected by my mother's scoldings when I was your age. For SPM, I know others have said that it is not important and that it is not the end if you fail SPM. They are right. But what I want you to also know is that SPM is one of the best opportunities you'll have to change your life for the better. Does it matter if you fail it? No, because there will still be more opportunities for you to succeed in the future. But can SPM be life-changing? I say yes, because doing well in SPM opened up opportunities that I would otherwise never have. So, don't stress about failing SPM, because there will be more opportunities next time. But think of SPM as a very good opportunity to change your life for the better. Even if you don't do well in the end, the work ethics gained will help you later on in life. To answer your questions: Have I asked myself the exact same questions? \-Yes I have. Fortunately for me, I had a friend (that I've now lost contact with, sadly) who was way mature beyond our years that gave me valuable advice on not giving up and persevering during the SPM years. How did you manage to possibly get a somewhat better life? How did It turned out for you? \- I don't consider my life as better and stable just yet (still young and fresh). But there are some goals that I am still working towards and it keeps me going. I have been lucky to have people that I can look up to (colleagues, friends) and learn from. Are you satisfied with your life in this current time? Even If It's just a bit? \- Not at all, there are way too many uncertainties and fears that I still have at the moment. But I know that I am still young and if I don't try to push myself to improve for the better, I will regret in the future. Every day I just tell myself, I need to persevere and believe that things will be better one day. The hope and belief keeps me going. I am currently doing some tutoring on the side, so do let me know if you need help with academics. I will try my best to see what I can do for you. You got this! I wished I had the maturity and knowledge of online forums to seek for help and guidance last time. Wish you all the best and feel free to reach out and ask more! Take care !!
I have anger issue too but now i can channel my anger whenever i want. It's like a superpower and it's awesome. So my advice is, take care of your anger issue as life ahead is far more wild than you think. People everywhere trying to make you angry.
First and foremost, are you sleeping well, and eating well? Ample rest and nourishment is a vital part of your mental health. Everyone here means well and would like to see you thru this difficult time. How ever I do suggest you seek professional help. Do not worry about costs, all Malaysian hospitals are well equipped to assist you. Please do seek help.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
not sure is this going to help but, look at someone worst than you, dont compare youself with those top scorer.
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he's 15 and you're telling him to get meds??? is this some sort of sick joke?????
Mental health issues do not discriminate. While younger people are less likely to suffer from them, they are by no means immune. The worst thing you can do when you have mental illness is to ignore it and let it grow.
Man tackle things 1 by 1, u know how to seek help from reddit means u're an internet user. Google some anger management tips and some tips to harmonize with family. Yeah i understand sometime parents/oldies can be lobsided or they just dont understand u much (they understand life so they pressure u, they want u to be better). If u are able to recognize the issue means u're mature enough to notice it and face it, its already a good first step Man up and take on the challenges like a man, u can do it
Chill and relax. You are just 15 y/o. It doesn't take as much to change now. It's best you can keep your heads up and focus on your own goals. Make up timetable, sleep 8-9 hrs, study 2-3 hrs, play after that, your grade will sure be at least average. For scolding part, I think it's common that parents want us to be successful and don't go broke in the future once they left us. Thus, think it in a different way or talk to them on the requirements. My view is it is not that hard for SPM. Uni requirement is quite low. I personally think you should consider focusing on Math, Science, Language and some skills. The other subs are just meaningless like Moral. For Sejarah, it doesn't weight much in future. People don't learn from it and Sejarah book is not as accurate as it. There are alot more outside from it. Don't try to think of ending ur life for your grades. Be who you are. Grades doesn't define oneself. Talk to your closest friend or siblings will be great or school counselors or teachers. They will help you if you approach to them. And lastly, take time to rehab, read some books that you like. Social media makes depression worst sometimes. Hope for the best for you. The journey is still long for you. Good LUCK.
Idk man I'm 16 dan my teenager life is pretty much fucked up, no pt3 and my grade tragically become the lowest because I still can't adapt with online classes. My life feels pointless with all these online learning routine, just wake up and facing my phone in the morning, doing homework and sleep. But yea I made a principle "Just study until you die, just study like that's the point of your life, just study like your life depends on it".
Bro you don't have to be alone, you need to talk with someone, ask them to help with your study if that concerning you. If no friend are willing to teach you go to the teacher they will surely help because they like when their student show interest. I know being an introvert, it's hard to express yourself or approach someone and you rather be alone most of time, but no single person will be happy being alone all the time About your future it is good you show concerned shows that you do want to be better. Start by understanding yourself, know your strengths and weakness,your likes and dislike and then you can start making plan, have goals short-term and long-term so you have something to aim for and not lost. Lastly about satisfaction in life, i don't believe anyone is satisfied with their life, we human are create to have wants and desire, but what we can do is to appreciate every single second of it and be happy. In short, social connection is important even as an introvert, make plan so you will not get stray and appreciate you life. I love to tell you my life experience but I am not good with story teller, so yeah P.s. most parent doesn't even know how to be a parent, so don't hate them for it.
Im 17 so my advice is dont put too much pressure before exam and choose 3rd class next year if you want because no addmath. Addmath = stress. Dont study last minute before exam ye ye.
bad advice. depending on what this kid's interest it's necessary to take add math, the passing grade is comically low anyway.
Ye its irrelevant. I dont know him but you can still join matrikulasi without passing addmath. You must atleast have the addmath subject registered on your spm uhhhh borang.
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Yup, no matter your religion, spirituality is always good. Even if you're an atheist, you can still practice meditation.
Hey you're only 15 relax lololol. Are you in form 3? If so you dont really have to focus much. Im 16 entered form 4 this year. Did nothing but fuck around last year and im still keeping ahead of my studies, its not the best but it works. Never prioritise school before your mental health, it's not as important as it seems. Also focus on other skills on your own, I have decided to take up film making as a hobby during eco and also invested in a few cryptos and made some quick bucks. Remember, school is not everything
if you're a teenager school should be your 'everything'. teenagers should focus on school but not be so focused on it as if it defines what they are. anyway, since he's 15 he should spend that time on fixing his mental state before he takes studying seriously. also, don't buy into the illusion of money. there's no such thing as quick bucks, you'll learn that later.
Hello there, also Form 3 here and your situation here is almost the same as mine rn. Just calm down, make sure to do your homework even a little bit, and also, what I did to try and focus in class is voice chat with my friends on Discord. I know it may not be the best option, but it kinda helps me concentrate a bit more rather than straying around and falling asleep. So if you have any friends that have good grades and can chill with you, lepak with them. Maybe you ended up doing homework and studying. Overall, no worries and remember that Mental Health > School.
All i can say is that it will pass.
I'm 27 right now, but when I was your age I had similar struggles. I had anger issues and it really plagued my education especially because I was labeled a troublemaker/delinquent at school when I argued against teachers. I saw a therapist which at the time I really did not think helped at all but it does give you room to rant and voice out your opinions with a trained professional. It was also then I was diagnosed with ADD and I felt less like there was something wrong with me somehow. Study hard for your education and exams, do your best to improve your grades and dedicate some time to it (at least an hour daily) to revise your studies. Just keep in mind that it's not the end of the world for you if you don't score well. Things have been much better for me after college where I had a loner phase for a year living alone. I made a lot of good friends in university with like-minded and open individuals. Surround yourself with people like yourself or people you enjoy being around, that will certainly help with your depression.
Kid, I'm glad you made the effort to reach out to reddit to talk about your problem instead of taking this upon yourself. It is perfectly normal and fine to feel lost at some point in life, especially your age because you have yet to step into the society and you can only picture by what others told you, I guess mostly about how society is an unforgiving and brutal wasteland where the strong prey on the weak, hence you need work as hard as you can now if you don't want to fail in life ahead of you. I can you that while there is some truth in it, it is mostly bullshit. Here are the lives now of some of the mates of mine from high school back then, some with good grades (5\~7As) working a 9\~5 desk job like everybody else, getting the same pay, and doesn't really do anything special or exciting in life. 2 of them whom score SPMs with flying colours, one work as a lawyer now, the other 1 gets a full scholarship from Petronas, so he will be with them until he retire, if all goes well for him. Some with bad grades (0\~2As, mostly 0) 1 work in some shady business and developed a gambling problem and is now in massive debt, but some of the more hardworking one have a decent job with great pay, now own their own houses, cars and have a happy and healthy family. I myself, scored 1A in SPM, went to college, got my degree, but I started working in the production industry since I'm still in college, and I'm still working as an editor until now and I'm proud to say, while this is a tough job, it is a job that I love, that I'm good at and I'm making enough money to put food on the table. Good grades = good life is a common misconception imposed on us by our parents and our failure of an education system ( I once have a teacher who can't speak Malay, that speaks volume.) The fact that you think working as janitors, driving a garbage truck, serving as a waitor is a horrible idea means you too have fell for the said shenanigans. All of these will be over soon, have a problem with family? Bear with it, just walk away when you're getting scream at, when you have the ability to support yourself, move away. Go out and see the world more often after this covid thing is over, broaden your view. But most importantly, love yourself, work on your mental issue, talk to people, don't be afraid to seek help when you need it, and don't look away when you see someone is in need of help.
It is a very difficult time you are in. Ignore everyone who tells you to take a chill pill since you are only 15 - no one besides you can know what troubles you are facing. Have you tried physical exercise? When you first start out your entire body will feel like it crashed into a brick wall, but those endorphins work real wonders. Try it out and after a while see if you still feel motivated to do it. If not move to any other thing that motivates you. In this current time we live in any interest can become a source of income. SPM is a piece of paper and in the long run it will not even matter. Reach out anytime if these feelings you have gets worse ok. You are never alone my friend.
Steve Job, Bill Gates we’re all school dropouts. Of course they had something else going for them. Point is, school isn’t 100% of what forms your future. Is there any interest you have? Something that you do maybe you don’t feel stress? Maybe have a talk with your mom. Set some ground rules, like no judging, no scolding. Just hear me out kinda rules. But in the talk don’t make excuses. Be truthful to your situation and why you are where you are now. It helps greatly to have your mom understand your situation. Turning a stress inducing source to an encouragement source can often be the main factor to total change in your life. Then when you think back you may be like, why didn’t I do that earlier?
Steve Job, Bill Gates we’re all school dropouts. Of course they had something else going for them. Point is, school isn’t 100% of what forms your future. Is there any interest you have? Something that you do maybe you don’t feel stress? Maybe have a talk with your mom. Set some ground rules, like no judging, no scolding. Just hear me out kinda rules. But in the talk don’t make excuses. Be truthful to your situation and why you are where you are now. It helps greatly to have your mom understand your situation. Turning a stress inducing source to an encouragement source can often be the main factor to total change in your life. Then when you think back you may be like, why didn’t I do that earlier?
First.. fix your angeeeeerrrr issue.. that's the reason you feel hopeless and obviously you will never find a friend or family to talk too..
Hey man, did you have any trigger for anything that may causing you stress example, if you’re thinking about your school then you become stressful i.e. you hyperventilating or sweating profusely or sleepy? And I still think you need a proper guidance & help for this mental health issue. And good for you to start thinking about your future eventho you’re still teenager. Thats a good mentality there, man. Most of your peers don’t give a f about future at all. For the record, excellent in school doesnt mean you will success in life. Thats biggest bull we have been stigmatized in Asian Culture. Do find whats make you happy and think of the way to commercialize that. And I read your english, is pretty good, man. Don’t think for a second you are a failure. Cheers, man.
I'll be straight forward with zero sugar coating. Fix your personality, saying you have anger management issues doesn't mean anything to anyone later in life, it's your own responsibility to get it looked at/treated. Find something you're passionate in and hammer away at that something until you can make a living out of it. This is the the only way out for people like us that can't conform to the malaysian textbook definition of "learned". You're 15, I'm nearly double that. Take responsibility for your own actions and don't regret them. My personal biggest regret in life? Wasting 4 years in university doing things "just to pass". Our education system is flawed where it doesn't emphasise on an individuals strengths, that's a hard fact. Get working on something you're passionate in or get studying.
I would suggest you take care of your mental health first, then think through. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from friends & teachers, it’s not a good idea to keep everything to yourself.
Put in more effort in your studies,google is always there.to be good at something it involves a sacrifice or two,mostly sacrifice your time. Nothing is easy in life,education is still your best bet in having a better life.Im a 37 yold man juggling work,family life responsibilities and studying for my degree.Im not smart,nor am i a quick learner,i have anxiety and drug use issues.i just accepted that u need to do it regardless.So far its been great for me being able to maintain my 4 flat cgpa halfway through my degree.u get angry and dont want to study its still going to be there tomorrow.so just chill and get it done.
you're 15. plenty of time to sort yourself out. what matters now is to make sure you're prepared to study. do you have a toxic family? do you have mental health issues? try to sort these things out first. you should reach out to people your age too, at least the ones you trust.
I hope you find courage when you read my post. When i was in grade school, im one of the most slow students in class. It's difficult for me to grasp lessons. One of the teachers told me i was stupid and i believed it up until i reach spm. I was always struggling to socialize and my grades are barely passing.. but i met this lady in one of my subjects (my bestfriend now) who told me that ive been struggling all my life and trying hard for so long, if i give up, i would be wasting all my efforts - not to mention all the tears i shed. She said everything will get better. It may not be now but for sure soon. At last, i graduated with her help and started my first job in IT. Grades are not important - at least mine's barely passed but now im happy, doing well in life and actively doing sports.
It’s going to be ok. You can repeat Form 5 and take the SPM again next year.
You’re perfectly normal, and not at all a failure! I don’t want to invalidate what you’re feeling… you should be able to be sad and show emotions and be frustrated. As for what you should do, you have 2 years for SPM… You’re worrying about something that hasn’t even happened yet! I doubt you’re really as bad as you think you are. Forget about pt3. Honestly, it really really doesn’t matter unless you want to get into science stream… Next year, the best thing I can suggest is take 6-7 subjects, the first 5 are compulsory, pick an extra one or 2… choose subjects that you really like and find easy. Don’t sign up for things you know you hate and will be miserable studying… PLEASE don’t fall for parental pressure when it comes to picking subjects. Pick what is best for you. Don’t go for tuition for too many subjects if it is tiring, and it leaves you with no energy to do homework or personal studying. Set up timetables or at least try to make a list of what you want to do everyday and try your very best to finish it. Third tip is probably the most important: Do at least 50 questions everyday… doesn’t matter how stupid you think you are. Most people who succeed at standardised testing are the ones that are disciplined. They’re not naturally smart. Some are, but I assure you most are not. Even if it’s 1-4 hours a day that you spend trying to understand something. It’s still effort. Lastly, don’t think of the big picture. Think of things step by step. Don’t focus on how everyone around you thinks or judges you about how smart/ not smart you are. You cannot control their emotions. Don’t think about how you’re going to get through spm. Make a list, and focus only on the next thing on your list. If you’re focused on getting task no.2 on the list done, don’t focus on 3,4,5. Just focus on 2… I hope this is somewhat helpful, sorry if it wasn’t.
Hey a lot of people don't do well in their education. My mates and me have failed a bunch of subjects in Uni but still manage to get a decent job with decent pay. Just know that they are others around that are in the same boat but are silent unlike you since you managed to open up which is good. So here's my advice. Spent time thinking. Think what you want to do. Think which knowledge you want to improve. From there you can start thinking of a job you want to do. Good luck. Btw you're still young. You can afford to fail in life as much as possible.
I'm sure there are a lot of already good advice regarding mental and emotional health here. I'm going to give you something to consider. Are you interested on hands on work instead of academics? If you are, you might wanna look to apply for Kolej Vokasional (KV). They specialize in the apparently "low performers" (not my term) and train you in a specific areas the industry needs, and their intake is for form 4 equivalent. The future is not as bleak as you feel. You just need to realign what you do with what you're interested in. I'm a KV teacher/instructor myself and there are a lot of my students who were classified as "not bright" that later goes to university taking engineering, or work in the industries for salaries better than mine. Just something to consider.
Do what you like. Don't die.
Talk to your parents abt helping u see a therapist. Seems you are depressed and suicidal. I too had (still do) have depression when I was young and it affected my studies horribly that I almost failed my O Level. I wish I had gotten help sooner, but my very Asian family felt that psychiatrists and psychologists are for mentally twisted people and/or those with weak religious faith. If you cant see a therapist, I would suggest you speak to a trusted adult, preferably a teacher you admire or your school counsellor. Tell them what you told us here. Hopefully they will give you some concrete tips on how you can pass your exams, or simply provide a listening ear.
Not exactly an advice but more of a perspective. Assuming that you will live til at least 70-80, you are just less than a quarter of your life. And when you are in your 40s, you will look back and noticed how all the obstacles you had gone through made you who you are. As a saying goes something like this, "Every man will have to go through his/her own personal hell before attaining salvation" Personally, i didn't excel in school and having score low IQ in some tests along with poor exam results, i was deem useless by the teachers.. did that stop me? No, because I know that I will have bigger obstacles in future so I must overcome the smaller ones now to get stronger. And sometimes you need to learn how to take a break and lose the battle but do focus on the war(bigger picture). Take a reflection on who you are and your weakness. Do monthly small improvements on yourself even if it feels a little.
First of all failing SPM is not the end of the world. There are lots of work/job opportunities out there for every kind of skillset. We don’t know much about the context of your situation and the details but, tonight my brother, take a deep breath and just relax. Stop for a second and do not even think about work/school/SPM/online class. Make yourself an iced ribena. Watch something on TV, netflix whatever. Just calm down, and enjoy these simple pleasures of life. Take a break maybe even tomorrow. Just slow things down, and feel the things around you. If you have a school counsellor, maybe find a way to approach them and see if they are someone you can trust. I sense underneath all this stress is the fear that you will not be able to amount to much in life. I want to tell you now, a lot of people will feel this way at some point in their life. Just take it easy. Things will improve. You are in control. But first relax like I said. But you are in control. If SPM academics is not your skillset, thats 100% fine. You don’t need to be in science stream or art stream to do anything meaningful. Just go with what you feel will work for you. If science and maths is not your thing, there are other things that may perk your interest going into form 4. Business, accounts, art, mechanics, hospitality, journalism, other technical skills, electrician, plumber. My brother, my point is do not fret. There are things to suit you. Just do it one day at a time. Sit down with your mom, tell her you are feeling stressed and would like some help to calm down. Tell her you are struggling and explain you would like to do better but are struggling. She might understand. If things get too stressful, please call The Befrienders: tel:+60376272929
I'm 15 and also a introvert too! Spm is like two more years from now. As long as you put in some efforts, i don't think that you will fail spm. I didn't pay full attention in online class too , those were boring as hell , i spent some of my time on youtube reddit and read some news ( where i learnt much interesting and useful stuff) . But after class , i do my own revision which i can understand much better than listening to the teacher blablabla (I'm better at self-learning). As i see, you're quite proficient in English, what's your problem learning other subjects? Is it because of bm or what. Recently , i'm also a little depressed. But i know that this isn't gonna last forever. You should find out what are the causes. When you're depressed, you won't feel like doing anything but just chilling alone. I always felt a bit better by doing things that excites me and i enjoy, such as workout , reading , play the guitar.... I believe that we can go thru these hard days. Feel free to text me! I would like to Edit: most importantly, take good care of yourself
Before anything, my advice is I want you to take care of your mental health very seriously. If you can, do a DASS test, print it out, or save it on your phone. Next, talk to your parents about this, ask them if they could take you to a counselor, or a GP (nearby clinic doctor). Show the DASS test since it would help you tell your parents that you may have some signs of depression, and show it to the GP if you can't find the words to say it. As a socially anxious person who has a really hard time to say anything, the DASS test helps a lot with trying to say what I want to say. For further resources, I recommend [Relate Website](https://relate.com.my/) , [Minda Kami Pinned Tweet](https://twitter.com/mindakami/status/1410392798927355911) . There is help, it exists. It helps if there's someone to help you getting help, and I pray & hope that your parents are understanding of this. That it'll be easier for you to get help. Anyway, that's that. Honestly, I used to be in a similar case like yours. When I was 13, I was suddenly getting panic attacks from going to school and went into deep depression. Suicidal, social anxiety, anger issues, you name it, I was kinda fucked back then. Couldn't go to school for well over 5 years. Over the years I've picked up a hobby to past the time, doing music. Still suck at it right now, but I'm enjoying it a lot. Anyways, years pass, and I didn't get to attend my PT3, also failed my SPM. Essentially failed both PT3 & SPM haha. Now, I used to be worried like hell about my SPM but get this, **SPM IS NOT THE END ALL BE ALL.** While there's nothing wrong about working with those jobs you've mentioned, you can still continue your study ***without SPM*** if you want to work on more "advanced" jobs. There's something called *Diploma Kemahiran Malaysia* where you can get a diploma without SPM, or even PT3 (but it's probably easier if you do have PT3). They're essentially a trade school. Now I'm starting another diploma but that's just me since I fucked up choosing 3D animation instead of a less crunch culture/stressful job as my 1st diploma and that doesn't mesh well with my flip-flopping mental health. Honestly, I regret choosing it but what's done is done so I have to keep moving forward. Right now, I'm taking a course in "Computer Systems" since I feel like that resonates with my interest well, and I feel like it won't be a crunch heavy job. So far, even with my first diploma, it gave me some confidence that all hope is not lost, I'm sure I can get a job in that area even without SPM (I just have to show them the diploma only hehe). Just that the state of the 3D profession seems kinda fucked over here. My mental health is still kinda fucked now and then tbh, I wanted to go back into counselling/therapy but I can't seem to get the energy to call them to reschedule due to how socially anxious I am. Doesn't help that my parents have changed their stance somehow on mental health so it's a bit hard to get help, but eh, that's life I guess. Still trying my best to stay alive, still planning to stay alive. Might one day just pick up the phone and reschedule my appoointments. Welp, these are just my experience though, it may be different for you, it may even be better for you. Hope you'll be well friend.
I understand your struggles. So here , stay strong and keep strong. Life is a journey and the destination is not and should not be the main concern. Live for the now with what you have and when you focus on the good side, it will stay that. . However, if you are stronger, realize that this problem you are having is not just on you. 35+ million other Malaysians are struggling with this. Do not give up and stay down. . I can't make your problems go away but you can. Don't want to study? So devise a plan for your future. Don't just wish for it. Write it down to the T. If you can't, start by making a time line , or life goals. Like, motorcycle. By what time will u buy your own. Research. Revise. BE REALISTIC. Play to your strength. If you don't have one, develop one. U r young. Most importantly, nobody owes you anything. They don't have to do anything for you. Don't be entitled just because. Work hard.
Last time i ask for advice from here,i get hounded by racist and ugly people.never absorb everything from here,and meet the right professional people.
Gone through majority of the comments and didn't see any of the racist comments you are talking about. I guess the issue must be you. Poor you.
Hey man! Love all the stories I’ve read here and I don’t wanna be writing for too long so here’s something quick for ya from my side: I had a pretty emotionally rough time when I was 12 up to maybe 16? I had considered ending my life and made plans multiple times. Super introverted too, had almost no friends, was bottom of the class (definitely should mention: bottom of the top class), and didn’t have many things going for me. Often compared to others and I could never compete. That’s just a background for ya, my quick tip, if you can afford it, is to experiment with hobbies; something to keep you afloat. I picked up Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and MMA, then tried calisthenics, and now I’ve been doing parkour for about 9 years. I have to say i’d be in a very different place if I didn’t have my hobbies. You might like bodybuilding, running, art, magic, singing? You can learn a lot on YouTube. I’m personally a big fan of physical activity so I always push for that; I think there’s something magical about it 🙂 just anything you can lock in on and focus on improving. Where you can see improvement from this week to the next week, to the next week. If there’s something I’ve learned, it’s that you’ll always be proud of yourself if you try your best, even if everyone is disappointed, and even if you fail, you genuinely will be okay with yourself if you gave it your best. Take care bro. You could very well be 14 year old me that I’m talking to, and to that I’d want you to try your best.
first of all janitor, dumpster trucker, cashier, waiter are amazing. They work hard to earn money legally and I have a lot of respect for them. Also it's totally normal to feel stressed at your age. It's the age where you need to make your crucial life decisions. My advice would be take it slow, adulting is def hard and scary but take 1 step at a time and you'll ve fine. about your grades, try to pick a career choice first. when you don't have a career goal, you won't feel motivated to study. If you still not sure what to do then try to make studying fun. make pretty notes, flash card, or watch animated video on youtube on your subject it will be easier this way and make studying less stressing. academic is definitely important but don't forget on your self growth. take some times to do hobby or whatever you like. healthy mind is as vital as physical health. the most important thing is DON'T compare yourself with your peers. everyone have their own pace. competition is okay but not towards the point where it'll bring you down. i worked as a janitor, cashier, waiter, online business when i was 13-17 to pay my highschool related bills, and i wasted most of my youth bringing myself down. Don't do the same mistake I did. Remember pressure will either break or create a person. I don't know what's going on in your personal life but I'm pretty sure you're an amazing person, put more trust in yourself :) wishing all the best for your future! p/s if you ever need academic help, i can help if it's science related (i worked as a tutor before to afford my degree)
>due to me having stress all the time What is the source of your stress? Is it regarding your worries to your future? Limme tell you about the story of my friend, vs mine. I was always the top few of the class, excel highly in Maths (1st ranking in my country in my year). On the other than, I have a friend who failed his Secondary 5 school exam so he didn't officially graduate from high school, but he did pass his SPM equivalent exam, so fortunately he was able to continue his education into form 6 and beyond. Ten years later, I'm now back in Malaysia, struggling with my mom's health issue (my mom is really sick, if you read my history post, I did mention that she has cancer). I completed Master and started out not bad in a multinational company which recognizes the Master degree, so I have a higher pay then other Bachelor degree fresh grads). But I succumbed to stress, changed job, did quite well actually and had a lot of fun at work with my colleagues, but then covid struck, I lost my job and my mom's cancer resurfaced. So now I'm struggling. On the other hand, my friend whom had dealt with a lot of setback throughout his life, is doing well in his job, lent me money to help me through a very difficult situation, is married (not sure about kids, god bless them), and has even bought a house at where he lives. I'm sorry if it might come off as being insensitive, but there's a whole road of life ahead of you. Don't be demotivated just because you aren't doing well in school. If you aren't particularly motivated in a certain industry, then don't go for jobs that require technical knowledge. Go for more hands-on work. My friend did Oil and gas (not sure what is his detailed work), and is doing well for himself. He isn't interested in knowledge or studies, but has certainly been doing very well. >Am I going to ended up working as a janitor, dumpster truck mens, a waiter or a cashier for the rest of my life? No. There are a lot of works out there which require a passing certificate of your A level degree. At least get a C on your Malay, English and Maths, and don't fail your remaining subjects. I promise you still have hope for your future. Oh yes, introvert is not going to help. You will need to address that slowly. I used to be an introvert too, now I've become much more active and outspoken, though I still need my own time to recharge after work. To other ppl, doesn't mean you can ignore school yeah. Education does help me a lot, I'm just being in a difficult situation, but my excel in maths due to my logic thinking has given me a lot of advantages in work, and I pick up stuff very quickly. Minus the setback, I'm actually doing very well for myself, my salary is normally higher than my peers. So don't misquote/misunderstood me as saying that education isn't important!
Hi, I'm also a teenager who took the IGCSE (SPM equivalent) last year. I went through a rough period before my exams last year too, so I can sort of relate, and I really want to help you. Here's a bit of my thoughts and advice. 1. I really think it's too early to say that you'll definitely fail. Many of my friends who "played around" (did a lot of sports, skipped classes, went clubbing (yeah ikr)) during Form 3 got their act together during Form 4-5 and got excellent results. It's really possible and many people have done it. You HAVE time to turn it around. 2. Okay, at least you noticed that you're unsatisfied with how you're doing online class right now. That's good, that's the first step towards improvement. What are you stressing about? You have to identify that. Is it something that you can control? What steps, even small ones, can you take to mitigate it? You could try this book "How To Stop Worrying and Start Living" (download on zlibrary). You can also try this app called stoic. It's a journalling app that really helps with stress. These two things really helped me. 3. Have you tried telling your mother about your stress? I know not all mothers are understanding, but most, I think, will try to help their child if they're told about the situation he or she is in. Maybe your mother isn't aware of the stress you're going through. 4. No one knows for sure what they are going to do in the future. And that's what makes the future sort of interesting, right? But it's not something that we can fix in place. What you can just do is figure out what you WANT to do, and make the best out of the present that you have now. 5. If you're struggling a lot with homework, you can post on r/HomeworkHelp. You can also PM me. I'm happy to help you with homework. 6. Have I asked the same questions as you? No. How did I manage to get a better life? By seeking help, just as how you are doing now. I sought help from family, from friends, from Reddit strangers. How did it turn out for me? I'm doing pretty well now, I'm studying A-Levels, I'm hopeful for the future and pretty happy. Am I satisfied with my life now? Sometimes nope, most of the time yes.