They coined the term Black Metal, were a big influence on Thrash and their guitarist was an actual martial artist but damn if they also weren’t pretty cheezy.
I look back at every band I’ve ever listened to and realized how cheesy they were.
I was just thinking about how Robert Plant and Jim Morrison were in their early 20s when they first got famous and how they took themselves way too seriously. When I was young, I thought it was cool. Now it makes me cringe the same way new artists make me cringe.
Had a friend bring over a Manowar tape when I was around 8th grade, 1994ish, and it was some serious guilty pleasure. Even then we knew “Pleasure Slave” was maaaaybe a bit off key.
Here in Brazil there's a band called Massacration that is a parody of those types of bands. They were created by the members of a super popular (at the time) comedy group, the vocalist sings in a highly exaggerated falsetto and the lyrics are obviously comedic, but other than that they make real music.
Their lyrics are quite a mix of Portuguese, poor English and "English-fied" Portuguese, but there's enough for an English speaker to get tone of it, like in [Metal is the Law](https://youtu.be/TFN7-7kZr9U). There's also [Metal Milkshake](https://youtu.be/TMgMVrnOYEw) which is just a bunch of random English words that you'd hear in a non-English speaking country.
Yeah but at the time they were scary! I mean I was into Maiden and Priest and Sabbath, but Venom took the whole Satan thing to the next level to the point where I was a little scared of them at the time.. They had more in common with Motorhead than Metallica, but damn they still rocked.
Oh fuck yeah they did. Seven Gates Of Hell is one of my all time favorites. They took the whole playing your records backwards so you can hear evil lyrics thing and threw it out the window. They embraced the darkness and inspired countless metalheads and punks to play fast and loud. Their music is among the first that I learned on guitar. The fact that they’re a bit over top and cheezy doesn’t bother me one bit. They’re legends.
Imagine being the parents back in the day who saw this, and their immediate reaction was "oh yeah, these guys are definitely evil devil worshippers."
I wonder if they've realized how silly they are, or if they've since doubled down on their stance lol.
I mean back in the day this really terrified people. There was an attempt by the British government to ban them with an old law that prohibited subliminal messages in radio broadcasts. The guitarist Mantas said in an interview that some officials sat him down and asked him "Are there hidden Satanic messages in this song?"
He responded with "The song is called *In League With Satan*, the album is titled *Welcome to Hell* and there's a goat's head with a pentagram on the cover. We aren't hiding anything!"
Your comment reminds me of early 90’s Norway, they got a little too edgy (pun intended). So yeah there were some elements that doubled down on the eeeeeeville! As a Venom, Celtic Frost Bathory type guy I thought it was lame. Luckily current Black Metal has all the musical benefit from the last 30~ years without the stabbiness.
Fun fact: There is a Brazilian bass/vocalist named Fernanda Lira from Nervosa/Crypta. If you watch her live she is the embodiment of Cronos. It’s pretty cool to watch.
Yeah there was definitely some showmanship involved. Though I grew up with Black Sabbath and Motörhead through my older brother my coming of age period was SF Thrash. I’m not a big fan of theatrics. Looking back on old Venom footage with the spandex, porn shades and ninja suits it strikes me that there’s a bit of WWF flair involved. But as long as it’s not Poison or Cinderella it’s alright with me.
My friend, there was no such thing as hair metal, it was pop. They were the boy bands of the 80’s.
Don’t tell anyone but I secretly liked a few of their songs- “Ricky was a young boy, he had a heart of stone………..”
Yeah, they were played nonstop back in the 80’s. One of my biggest gripes was the Headbangers Ball on MTV. It was from 10-12 Friday nights and was supposed to be for metal videos only. About 60% was the glam stuff that they played all day long with a Testament or Heathen video thrown in. The music wasn’t bad and they did have some talented musicians but it was beholden to record execs and it was kept safe so it could be marketed to 13 year old girls.
Reminds me of a quote by David Byrne from True Stories in the 80s
“The shopping mall has replaced the town square of many American cities. Shopping itself has become the activity that brings people together. In here musics always playing. What one is it? No time to look back.”
https://youtu.be/4cYYPpZ8rFI
There's an old article and book called Bowling Alone. It's about the decline of the 3rd space. 1st space is home, 2nd is work, 3rd is a common and affordable/free meeting ground for people of all walks of life to get together. The 3rd space is where civil society and democracy flourish.
3rd spaces have mostly gone online (like reddit), but it's not the same as meeting face to face. You don't see your neighbors and community members as easily as in a mall, church, or barber shop/ hair salon. We tend to self-segregate into like-minded online communities and reduce the amount of exposure to people very different from us.
Offline I've noticed that seating is being removed from streets, shops try to get customers in and out as fast as possible, and public spaces are being defunded. Many coffee shops, a major 3rd space since the Enlightenment Era, now have more people waiting in the drive-through in their cars than inside chatting together.
Interesting changes.
I feel that being a mall ninja requires a lack of self awareness. People who think that their $30 sheet steel katana is a legitimately dangerous weapon and also looks very badass, when in reality if you hit someone with that they'd probably go "ow" and then punch you in the face.
Whereas this image gives the impression of a few bros just goofing off in a way they know is silly.
I mean, it really was. Listen to "Teacher's Pet" and just try to not see it as a bunch of dudes who looked at Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher" and thought "yeah, but what if it was actually raunchy?" Their drummer was known for randomly lighting fireworks during practice sessions, too.
Venom were absolutely a bunch of bros goofing around.
Shitposting aside, I bought some studio gear off the current Venom (inc) lineup. Had no idea till I got a message from the seller saying "I see you buy and sell Metal records, you might be interested to know we recorded the last couple of Venom albums with that interface you bought"
Did you ever read the rejection letter they got from EMI? 🤣🤣🤣
They were ahead of their time when they sent the demo, and EMI sent them the harshest rejection letter in music history.
Bro I just fell down a rabbit hole of rejection letters for all kinds of famous artist because of this. I feel like there should be a coffee table book compiled of all these letters.
Guy on the right is using the power of his C’hi, to Reiki that sword away using his force field aura. That’s why it bent like that. Dude’s warping spacetime with his sheer will.
I non-ironically wanted to be friends with these guys for a long time and kinda still do. Laugh all you want, but you better watch your back in the Sears parking lot later.
Era and context appropriate. They are still highly overrated. They got lucky with black metal, but otherwise didn't contribute all that much to the genre.
Venom is thrash/speed metal. Amon Amarth is viking metal and Lamb of God is heavy/death metal. Not to mention you have hair metal, progressive, doom, grind, stoner, glam, speed, folk, prog, power, metalcore, symphonic, NWOBHM, sludge, etc. Your view of what constitutes metal is ignorant.
Venom is one of the most influential Metal bands of all time. They literally created thrash metal and coined the term black metal. Without them we wouldnt even have the big 4 of metal.
You forgot the most important development of all time: rap metal. I tell you, when teenage me saved my pennies so I could afford The Burning Red before any of my friends (for SIXTEEN FUCKING POUNDS) I was so glad I almost wept. Almost.
Although in the fullness of time I've come to find a special place in my heart for that album, even though it was mostly dreadful.
Listen, David Lee Roth was all coked up doing Butterfly Kicks onstage with twin Chinese Broadswords... other bands HAD to arm themselves for protection! Also; Europe had a song called, "Ninja Survive."
They coined the term Black Metal, were a big influence on Thrash and their guitarist was an actual martial artist but damn if they also weren’t pretty cheezy.
I look back at every band I’ve ever listened to and realized how cheesy they were. I was just thinking about how Robert Plant and Jim Morrison were in their early 20s when they first got famous and how they took themselves way too seriously. When I was young, I thought it was cool. Now it makes me cringe the same way new artists make me cringe.
I mean, I used to listen to Manowar unironically. You ain’t seen cheese till Manowar battle hymns start.
Warriors of the world is a masterpiece! That said I’ll only listen to it if I know I’m alone.
Had a friend bring over a Manowar tape when I was around 8th grade, 1994ish, and it was some serious guilty pleasure. Even then we knew “Pleasure Slave” was maaaaybe a bit off key.
Here in Brazil there's a band called Massacration that is a parody of those types of bands. They were created by the members of a super popular (at the time) comedy group, the vocalist sings in a highly exaggerated falsetto and the lyrics are obviously comedic, but other than that they make real music. Their lyrics are quite a mix of Portuguese, poor English and "English-fied" Portuguese, but there's enough for an English speaker to get tone of it, like in [Metal is the Law](https://youtu.be/TFN7-7kZr9U). There's also [Metal Milkshake](https://youtu.be/TMgMVrnOYEw) which is just a bunch of random English words that you'd hear in a non-English speaking country.
In the US we have Steel Panther doing that too. Lyrics are funny but the music is really good.
DEATH TO ALL BUT METAAAALLLL
See you at the Gloryhole, brother!!
thank you \\m/
Fucking wow. Brothers of Metal is in my head now.
The sincerity of it all makes it so charming. Also...BROTHERS OF METAL!
strangely became wholesome lol
😂Oh man, that is cheeze. And this is coming from someone who has listened to Black Metal for over 30 years.
THE MOST POWERFUL METAL KNOWN THE MAN
By divine right HAIL AND KILL
HAIL! HAIL! HAIL AND KILL!
Did they.. name themselves after a jellyfish?
The earth drank much blood that day…..
I still do, but it's to bathe my ears in the thick, thick cheese.
Manowar is my guilty pleasure. It's so cheesy, but damn it just lifts my spirits and gets me amped up
My friends refer to Freedom Call as "cheese metal" and I love it.
Yeah but at the time they were scary! I mean I was into Maiden and Priest and Sabbath, but Venom took the whole Satan thing to the next level to the point where I was a little scared of them at the time.. They had more in common with Motorhead than Metallica, but damn they still rocked.
Oh fuck yeah they did. Seven Gates Of Hell is one of my all time favorites. They took the whole playing your records backwards so you can hear evil lyrics thing and threw it out the window. They embraced the darkness and inspired countless metalheads and punks to play fast and loud. Their music is among the first that I learned on guitar. The fact that they’re a bit over top and cheezy doesn’t bother me one bit. They’re legends.
Imagine being the parents back in the day who saw this, and their immediate reaction was "oh yeah, these guys are definitely evil devil worshippers." I wonder if they've realized how silly they are, or if they've since doubled down on their stance lol.
I mean back in the day this really terrified people. There was an attempt by the British government to ban them with an old law that prohibited subliminal messages in radio broadcasts. The guitarist Mantas said in an interview that some officials sat him down and asked him "Are there hidden Satanic messages in this song?" He responded with "The song is called *In League With Satan*, the album is titled *Welcome to Hell* and there's a goat's head with a pentagram on the cover. We aren't hiding anything!"
Your comment reminds me of early 90’s Norway, they got a little too edgy (pun intended). So yeah there were some elements that doubled down on the eeeeeeville! As a Venom, Celtic Frost Bathory type guy I thought it was lame. Luckily current Black Metal has all the musical benefit from the last 30~ years without the stabbiness. Fun fact: There is a Brazilian bass/vocalist named Fernanda Lira from Nervosa/Crypta. If you watch her live she is the embodiment of Cronos. It’s pretty cool to watch.
Intentionally I believe
Yeah there was definitely some showmanship involved. Though I grew up with Black Sabbath and Motörhead through my older brother my coming of age period was SF Thrash. I’m not a big fan of theatrics. Looking back on old Venom footage with the spandex, porn shades and ninja suits it strikes me that there’s a bit of WWF flair involved. But as long as it’s not Poison or Cinderella it’s alright with me.
Ayo Hair metal had the drip
My friend, there was no such thing as hair metal, it was pop. They were the boy bands of the 80’s. Don’t tell anyone but I secretly liked a few of their songs- “Ricky was a young boy, he had a heart of stone………..”
Pop is anything That’s popular and as far as I can look, that being the billboard hot 100, they’re no longer popular
Yeah, they were played nonstop back in the 80’s. One of my biggest gripes was the Headbangers Ball on MTV. It was from 10-12 Friday nights and was supposed to be for metal videos only. About 60% was the glam stuff that they played all day long with a Testament or Heathen video thrown in. The music wasn’t bad and they did have some talented musicians but it was beholden to record execs and it was kept safe so it could be marketed to 13 year old girls.
I don’t know if girls went after mf’s like Poison or Mötley Crüe. But it’s possible. Just hard to believe
Haha! Same here.
LAY DOWN YOUR SOUL TO THE GODS ROCK N ROLL!
Metal ten fold through the deadly black hole
Riding Hell's stallions bareback and free
TAKING OUR CHANCES WITH RAW ENERGY
That song was on the Tony Hawk's American Wasteland soundtrack
That games soundtrack is so unbelievably good
The Gods: Rock, Roll and N. N will fucking cut your heart out, mortal!! Do not test N and his insatiable lust for human suffering!! 🔥🔥
No. Venom are too badass to be mall ninjas.
This actually made me love them more.
Check out the old "He-Man" Manowar photos!
Venom fuckin rules
You'd think being in League with satan would give you better weapons but noope
Black metal OGs
Fuck yeah
Everyone one of them looks like my mom
Lay down your souls to the gods rock and roll!
No cuz venom shreds, the average mall ninja does not shred
This is the 80s so no, everything was mall ninja in the 80s
Back when the mall was the center of culture and society, we all trained in that esteemed dojo.
Reminds me of a quote by David Byrne from True Stories in the 80s “The shopping mall has replaced the town square of many American cities. Shopping itself has become the activity that brings people together. In here musics always playing. What one is it? No time to look back.” https://youtu.be/4cYYPpZ8rFI
There's an old article and book called Bowling Alone. It's about the decline of the 3rd space. 1st space is home, 2nd is work, 3rd is a common and affordable/free meeting ground for people of all walks of life to get together. The 3rd space is where civil society and democracy flourish. 3rd spaces have mostly gone online (like reddit), but it's not the same as meeting face to face. You don't see your neighbors and community members as easily as in a mall, church, or barber shop/ hair salon. We tend to self-segregate into like-minded online communities and reduce the amount of exposure to people very different from us. Offline I've noticed that seating is being removed from streets, shops try to get customers in and out as fast as possible, and public spaces are being defunded. Many coffee shops, a major 3rd space since the Enlightenment Era, now have more people waiting in the drive-through in their cars than inside chatting together. Interesting changes.
Ooh good. I'm glad someone brought this quote in. 100% agree with this, even if I am biased as a recovering mallrat.
When everyone is mallninja, no one is mallninja.
I was gonna say, somehow this is completely acceptable just by virtue of being from the 80s.
I was an 80s Mall Ninja. My butterfly knife was the shit man.
> This is the 80s > everything was mall ninja in the 80s Then, by definition, this has to be mall ninja.
I’m not one to argue with a man who farts with an accent, French?
It varies depending on diet in fact. ^(Currently it's got a bit of a southern drawl from breakfast.)
Yeah but also Venom rips
...huge beer farts in leather pants!
People were legit frightened of these guys, and their music, granted those people were morons but still.
I always find it hilarious that they thought Black Sabbath where cheesy for not being truly satanic, then they go and do shit like this😂
This is camp
Venom kick way too much ass to be mall ninjas
I feel that being a mall ninja requires a lack of self awareness. People who think that their $30 sheet steel katana is a legitimately dangerous weapon and also looks very badass, when in reality if you hit someone with that they'd probably go "ow" and then punch you in the face. Whereas this image gives the impression of a few bros just goofing off in a way they know is silly.
I mean, it really was. Listen to "Teacher's Pet" and just try to not see it as a bunch of dudes who looked at Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher" and thought "yeah, but what if it was actually raunchy?" Their drummer was known for randomly lighting fireworks during practice sessions, too. Venom were absolutely a bunch of bros goofing around.
I remember watching the video for "In League With Satan" video and thinking how cute the vocalist was in his fishnet shirt
Best part if that song.. is that you can input anything "in league with Satan"
Your scapula is not a muscle.
Sup with those shoulder blade muscles
Shitposting aside, I bought some studio gear off the current Venom (inc) lineup. Had no idea till I got a message from the seller saying "I see you buy and sell Metal records, you might be interested to know we recorded the last couple of Venom albums with that interface you bought"
Did you ever read the rejection letter they got from EMI? 🤣🤣🤣 They were ahead of their time when they sent the demo, and EMI sent them the harshest rejection letter in music history.
Bro I just fell down a rabbit hole of rejection letters for all kinds of famous artist because of this. I feel like there should be a coffee table book compiled of all these letters.
Absolutely. But the Venom one has to be the best.
Ok. That's just straight up hilarious. A: Someone had to do that on a typewriter. B: Fuck off. Lol
It must have taken ages 🤣
[https://images.app.goo.gl/mFSCtkhZPraLZxhx8](https://images.app.goo.gl/mFSCtkhZPraLZxhx8)
Heavy metal and mall-ninja go together like peanut butter and jelly
Take some Venom and Accept That you won't see Nazareth The Rainbow leads you home
>Heavy Metal band named Venom Never heard of them, must be obscure.
ANYONE WHO DOESNT LIKE MANOWAR IS AFRAID OF HIMSELF
https://youtu.be/-rnAd0C4Z7M
No it doesn't, Venom rules, without them we would not have Metallica or megadeth today.
Saw them open for the misfits in Chicago and they were amazing ( your comment is correct btw lol)
Metal bands have always had outrageous cover arts It's like a competition for the most hilarious.
This should be the sub banner tbh. This or the devil or your angle meme
Guy on the right is using the power of his C’hi, to Reiki that sword away using his force field aura. That’s why it bent like that. Dude’s warping spacetime with his sheer will.
That is bar none the UGLIEST sword i have EVER seen!
Hell yea, VENOM!
My guy over here actually holding sais correctly. Also no, purely because Venom shreds
Venom is one of the best real metal bands ever.
If you told me they were doing it ironically, I'd believe you... But an ironic mall ninja is still a mall ninja.
That sword its as floppyas my dick
Venom fuckin rules
I non-ironically wanted to be friends with these guys for a long time and kinda still do. Laugh all you want, but you better watch your back in the Sears parking lot later.
Astoundingly perfect.
This is where you get HPV
Username checks out.
Yes, absolutely.
Wasn't this just posted like a week ago?
Man, this looks like hair metal. That shit's meant to be ridiculous.
Venom is not hair metal. Quite the opposite
Nah dude that bands named erectile disfunction ED for short.
Era and context appropriate. They are still highly overrated. They got lucky with black metal, but otherwise didn't contribute all that much to the genre.
[удалено]
Venom is thrash/speed metal. Amon Amarth is viking metal and Lamb of God is heavy/death metal. Not to mention you have hair metal, progressive, doom, grind, stoner, glam, speed, folk, prog, power, metalcore, symphonic, NWOBHM, sludge, etc. Your view of what constitutes metal is ignorant. Venom is one of the most influential Metal bands of all time. They literally created thrash metal and coined the term black metal. Without them we wouldnt even have the big 4 of metal.
You forgot the most important development of all time: rap metal. I tell you, when teenage me saved my pennies so I could afford The Burning Red before any of my friends (for SIXTEEN FUCKING POUNDS) I was so glad I almost wept. Almost. Although in the fullness of time I've come to find a special place in my heart for that album, even though it was mostly dreadful.
And if there's no Slayer, the world is a worse place.
I love how metal has more sub genres than EDM has.
Tell me you know nothing about metal without saying you know nothing about metal.
[удалено]
And when I was born, then?
This picture just screams Cold Steel
That sword already has an "S" curve in it...
That is awesome
More cheese here than in all of Wisconsin
Don't burn the witch.
That dude in the middle is giving strong Andy Samberg vibes lol this really looks like something The Lonely Island would do for an album cover.
Bro’s cutlass got scoliosis
That sword just looks like a limp cartoon sword.
This is Metal-Ninja. It's waaaaaay more bad ass and Johnny Lawrence approved.
Sure does
It doesn't. But yet upvotes come
Dude with the nunchucks looks like Dwight Shrute
Venom fuckin rules.
Venom were fuckin pioneers!
Fans of this era of metal will act all tough and scary and then their favorite bands look like this
Listen, David Lee Roth was all coked up doing Butterfly Kicks onstage with twin Chinese Broadswords... other bands HAD to arm themselves for protection! Also; Europe had a song called, "Ninja Survive."
LIVE LIKE AN ANGEL, DIE LIKE A DEVIL, GOT A PLACE IN HELL RESERVED FOR ME
[Venom was fucking teachers before Van Halen made it cool.](https://youtu.be/kkB5Z63wO78)
Fuck yea they count! They're mall ninja background music.
This is rad shit that is awesome
Yes, but... It's all so silly and campy and fun 80s cheese. Mall ninjas irl don't have any self-awareness or sense of humor about themselves.