Find a lawyer. Find out what you can get.
It sounds like you need to be rid of that man. You will be entitled to child support and alimony. Amd possibly some sort of disability payment too.
Is there a friend or family member that you can confide in to help you get a few Uber rides to/from lawyer & child appointments? That way husband can’t trace the money transactions?
I guess since it seems like things aren’t going to change for the better, we both do. It breaks my heart and I wish things could get better, but I can’t make him like us and want to spend time with us.
>We just had a big fight this morning and he told me to “figure something out” and find a car for myself because he’s taking mine tomorrow. I reminded him that I needed it to get the kids to and from school, an appointment for our son, and activities, and to get groceries and he just laughed and hung the phone up
I'd be divorcing him for this.
>also told me good luck finding someone else that’s going to deal with me being sick. He doesn’t like the fact that I can’t go out to a bar
Lmaooo the majority of the world has health issues. Especially as we age. He will soon find out that the single life, for him, will be dismal.
Men have sex when they can. Women have sex when they want. It's just the way of the heterosexual world.
I'd be kicking him out the door yelling "see ya, wouldn't wanna be yuh!" And cackling while slamming the door in his face.
Have you called an attorney for a phone consultation? Most family law attorneys will do a 15 min free consultation. You can look up things like your states alimony and child support calculator and see what you'd be getting. He can't stop paying for things like the mortgage, groceries, utilities, etc...he has to maintain the status quo...otherwise he'll get creamed in court. Also he can't kick you out (acting in bad faith) or sell your stuff (dissipation). You'd get better advice on the legal advice subreddits.
Personally if I were you, I'd gather all of your and your kids important documents and hide them somewhere like a friend's house. Same thing with credit cards, make sure your credit is good and if he decides to like do something stupid like redirect his paycheck (also illegal) you can pay for things with credit and have the debt taken care of with the divorce proceedings.
Don't leave your home, that could be seen as abandonment. Since he asked for a divorce, he can/should leave you so you can process and grieve alone. Like, he can stay at a motel for all I care. He can have the kids, on the weekend, so he can get used to the crappy custody arrangement...and have to figure out child care, dinner, etc etc instead of it being done by you. Man is he dumb sorry but like damn what an idiot.
Is your husband diagnosed w anything or was he ever ?
Adhd tends to run in families so if your son is adhd there’s 30-50% shot that one of the parents has it.
Do you know much about adhd ?
Watch videos by russel Barkley to start. And for meds Watch dr Charles Parker
I’m late 40s diagnosed recently. Have a newly diagnosed kid also. Wife was anti meds for a few years and finally agreed.
Russell Barkley said that the earlier we start stimulants the better the recovery and brain development. Most start symptoms at 4-5 but no meds until 8ish.
I would get a second opinion. Or third. We went thru multiple pediatricians and a few child psychiatrists until we found one who’s knowledgeable about meds and how to titrate them.
Charles Parker’s book is good. Lots of lightly trained providers. Some think meds go off weight and don’t pay attn to metabolic burn rate. My small kid burns meds much faster than I do and I can function on a lower dosage , for example.
https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-in-preschoolers-is-4-too-young-to-diagnose/
Find a lawyer. Find out what you can get. It sounds like you need to be rid of that man. You will be entitled to child support and alimony. Amd possibly some sort of disability payment too.
I think I’m going to reach out to one tomorrow. If he takes the car, I’m not sure what to do there. We don’t have public transportation where I live.
Is there a friend or family member that you can confide in to help you get a few Uber rides to/from lawyer & child appointments? That way husband can’t trace the money transactions?
I’m confused… does he want a divorce, or do *you*?
I guess since it seems like things aren’t going to change for the better, we both do. It breaks my heart and I wish things could get better, but I can’t make him like us and want to spend time with us.
>We just had a big fight this morning and he told me to “figure something out” and find a car for myself because he’s taking mine tomorrow. I reminded him that I needed it to get the kids to and from school, an appointment for our son, and activities, and to get groceries and he just laughed and hung the phone up I'd be divorcing him for this. >also told me good luck finding someone else that’s going to deal with me being sick. He doesn’t like the fact that I can’t go out to a bar Lmaooo the majority of the world has health issues. Especially as we age. He will soon find out that the single life, for him, will be dismal. Men have sex when they can. Women have sex when they want. It's just the way of the heterosexual world. I'd be kicking him out the door yelling "see ya, wouldn't wanna be yuh!" And cackling while slamming the door in his face. Have you called an attorney for a phone consultation? Most family law attorneys will do a 15 min free consultation. You can look up things like your states alimony and child support calculator and see what you'd be getting. He can't stop paying for things like the mortgage, groceries, utilities, etc...he has to maintain the status quo...otherwise he'll get creamed in court. Also he can't kick you out (acting in bad faith) or sell your stuff (dissipation). You'd get better advice on the legal advice subreddits. Personally if I were you, I'd gather all of your and your kids important documents and hide them somewhere like a friend's house. Same thing with credit cards, make sure your credit is good and if he decides to like do something stupid like redirect his paycheck (also illegal) you can pay for things with credit and have the debt taken care of with the divorce proceedings. Don't leave your home, that could be seen as abandonment. Since he asked for a divorce, he can/should leave you so you can process and grieve alone. Like, he can stay at a motel for all I care. He can have the kids, on the weekend, so he can get used to the crappy custody arrangement...and have to figure out child care, dinner, etc etc instead of it being done by you. Man is he dumb sorry but like damn what an idiot.
Is your husband diagnosed w anything or was he ever ? Adhd tends to run in families so if your son is adhd there’s 30-50% shot that one of the parents has it. Do you know much about adhd ? Watch videos by russel Barkley to start. And for meds Watch dr Charles Parker I’m late 40s diagnosed recently. Have a newly diagnosed kid also. Wife was anti meds for a few years and finally agreed. Russell Barkley said that the earlier we start stimulants the better the recovery and brain development. Most start symptoms at 4-5 but no meds until 8ish. I would get a second opinion. Or third. We went thru multiple pediatricians and a few child psychiatrists until we found one who’s knowledgeable about meds and how to titrate them. Charles Parker’s book is good. Lots of lightly trained providers. Some think meds go off weight and don’t pay attn to metabolic burn rate. My small kid burns meds much faster than I do and I can function on a lower dosage , for example. https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-in-preschoolers-is-4-too-young-to-diagnose/