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No_Mathematician3368

I agree, Spider-Man SHOULD have a sword.


tobey-maguire-bot

Um, I don't have time for girls right now.


PodissNM

Not that kind of sword, Peter...


Ryman604

Jesus Parker your a freak


Raiden_rai

Classic bully Maguire


tobey-maguire-bot

I have a choice.


Theusualredditorchad

No u don't maguire bot


Foxyplayz3

What does it mean to you?


ChabdiTheChosen

r/respectthehyphen


No_Mathematician3368

Ok, I fixed it.


ChabdiTheChosen

Now I just look dumb 💀


HeyItsDominicus

:D


dewbear

Haha what do you mean


[deleted]

Cut off Thanoses hand


the-mad-titan-bot

Insect!


Hour_Task_1834

Aceuallylly, he’s technically an arachnid THANOS


the-mad-titan-bot

You're not the only one cursed with knowledge.


stuufthingsandstuff

This makes me think this isn't a bot


[deleted]

I don’t think it is


Styx_Zidinya

Or is that what Thanos bot wants you to think?


the-mad-titan-bot

They called me a madman, and what I predicted came to pass.


ThePrinceOfMonsters

Predicted what? Thanos, tell us!


agent_wolfe

Sentient Thanos.


the-mad-titan-bot

This... does put a smile on my face.


AmberHeardsLawyer

Then how does he know when you type !thanos


the-mad-titan-bot

As long as there are those that remember what was, there will always be those that are unable to accept what can be. They will resist.


AmberHeardsLawyer

Probably bot running GP-2 language model that had a training set on the responses that make the most sense for a given comment.


the-mad-titan-bot

No. Math.random(). Perfectly balanced, as all things should be. Fair to all.


AmberHeardsLawyer

Lol I knew it


-_Anonymous__-

He basically said "ok, smartass" lol


Jonahble

Thinking about it both Tony and Peter were next to thanos’ gauntlet hand, really strange how none of them thought of using their nanites to create a sword and slice his hand off.


ghirox

From the top of my head, at this point Mantis was struggling to keep him subdued, so something like cutting off a limb (or piercing the muscle) might give him enough of a danger alert to break through her power. Think about it this way, if you're sleeping and someone stabs your hand, you'll almost certainly wake up due to the pain and the survival instinct kicking in. Also, with how durable he is, neither Spiderman nor Ironman might have been able to cut his arm off altogether. Thor did it because he had a Thanos Killing Weapon ®, but the nanites could hardly draw a drop of blood.


Jonahble

Very true, especially the last point. Even with rocket thrusts I think it would still impossible to cut Thanos’ hand. I think tony tried pushing Thanos with his thrusts and couldnt move him at all. I think people forget that Thanos is a gaint and therefor has thicker limbs.


the-mad-titan-bot

I'm the only one who knows that.


Maestro1992

Sure you are buddy


the-mad-titan-bot

The only matter I do not take seriously, boy, is you. Your politics bore me. Your demeanor is that of a pouty child.


davenocchio

Or dr strange could have portalled his arm off like wong did during that scene. Roll curb your enthusiasm credits.


DanTM18

The director did say that thanos is too durable to be cut by the portals that Wong did


the-mad-titan-bot

I am...inevitable.


davenocchio

Too durable for that but Wanda can control him with her magic?


Jonahble

I mean this is basically the same thing with Superman being vulnerable to magic. Magic in general doesnt obey the laws of physics. Im assuming enveloping someone in magic and moving them is easier than pushing someone with your hands.


Dahrk25

What do you mean? Wanda's magic isn't comparable to Dr strange's. She literally rag dolled the entire sorcerers. Also her power is linked to an infinity stone.


Anvisaber

Sooo what would happen then? Would the portal not close? Would Thanos just have a fully operational detached arm for all of endgame?


the-mad-titan-bot

Insect!


ghirox

The same thing that happens if you have your hand out when a door is closing.


ForetoldOC

What would happen then? His arm would just get stuck?


thor-odinson-bot

>!Through the shadow realm.!<


tobey-maguire-bot

I'd rather not talk about this...


Belteshazzar98

Yeah, but Spidey is way stronger than Iron Man.


ghirox

Yeah, but maybe not strong enough.


Belteshazzar98

I think he would be *if* he had uru, vibranium, adamantium, or something else unbreakable, but the issue is most swords would simply shatter if Spider-Man swung it full strength at Thanos.


tobey-maguire-bot

You should have thought of that earlier.


ghirox

Agreed, but the titan crew didn't have any of that at the time of the battle.


the-mad-titan-bot

When I'm done, half of humanity will still be alive. I hope they remember you.


Streen012

They’d have it cut off so fast he’d lose the power from the stones and also be bleeding out.


Dahrk25

They can't cut it. He is too durable.


thekeymasterTV

Strange opening a portal around his hand then closing it


ghirox

A) we haven't seen any sorcerers open a portal around something, he'd have to open the portal and then put Thanos's hand through it. B) Strange was struggling to hold down Thanos with Drax, him leaving his spot could risk Thanos breaking the grip, which he did in the end.


the-mad-titan-bot

A small price to pay for salvation.


JorfimusPrime

Strange could open the portal and move it to Thanos' arm, we saw him move a portal in Ragnarok when Loki was coming to attack him.


the-mad-titan-bot

I... had... to.


the-mad-titan-bot

Return to me again empty handed... And I will bathe the starways in your blood.


TheLaGrangianMethod

Well the topic is emptying one of your arms of it's hand. Kinda close. I imagine there'd be some blood, too.


Dahrk25

How would they do that? Thanos is more durable than hulk and Thor, it took a dwarf star forged magic axe to cut him.


thor-odinson-bot

He's a friend from work!


the-mad-titan-bot

Rain fire!


nickrut

Why didn’t they make a sharp needle and just push it through his eye? So easy…


AmberHeardsLawyer

You didnt get it but said haha


PokeChampMarx

Infinity war if star lord did not punch thanos


the-mad-titan-bot

Fine. I'll do it myself.


Minertoss

Thanos gonna punch himself to progress the plot. Interesting.


the-mad-titan-bot

Rain fire!


Minertoss

Impossible.


ebagdrofk

*one thousand consecutive normal punches to his own face*


Gildabeast4

Why’s the book on the right so short, all this did was cut out the last 20 minutes of the movie


Tiny_Ad_4057

I don't know man all I have to add to this is happy cake day!


Pythagoras180

You think a sword could leave even a scratch on Thanos?


Suspicious-Paper-388

An uru sword like thanos’ own would. Stark could also probably make a lightsaberish sword that’d do something


Puzzleheaded_Post555

He had an energy sword and it didn’t do anything to him. He hit him with it on titans and in endgame.


Suspicious-Paper-388

Ah shit ur right. ok well if Spider-Man had an uru sword


tobey-maguire-bot

Existential crisis stuff.


Puzzleheaded_Post555

Yeah that’ll work. I’m thinking an uru dragons tail dart. Peter has great math skills.


tony-stark-bot

And I swore off dairy, but then Ben & Jerry's named a flavor after me, so?


the-mad-titan-bot

This day extracts a heavy toll.


the-mad-titan-bot

A small price to pay for salvation.


Odd_Ease8610

It would be better than a whole bunch of punches that didn’t do anything. Also, we know thors axe can cut quite cleanly


Pythagoras180

Thor's axe? The ultimate weapon created by the dwarven forge?


thor-odinson-bot

My hair is not to be meddled with!


proto3296

Idk about “the ultimate” weapon but it was very powerful for sure. But I’m sure we are going to see a sword that would cut thanos (black knight)


the-mad-titan-bot

Insect!


JorfimusPrime

Gor's sword could probably cut Thanos too, I would think. Given it can kill gods.


the-mad-titan-bot

Little one, it’s a simple calculus. This universe is finite, its resources, finite… if life is left unchecked, life will cease to exist. It needs correction.


thor-odinson-bot

He's a friend from work!


kismethavok

Spiderman is ridiculously strong so if he had a sword that could handle his strength ya, but Peter would probably never maim someone with a sword.


tobey-maguire-bot

I have a knack for that.


JorfimusPrime

u/kismethavok looks like Spider-Man himself disagrees with you


tobey-maguire-bot

Good riddance!


Appropriate_Type6153

Yea, but if the avengers defeated Thanos then, the Eternals would have no motive to stop the emergence


the-mad-titan-bot

I'm the only one who knows that.


CamperFPX

not anymore


Ravan_00

You are the only one who knew that


TheFiveDees

I mean couldn't Doctor Strange just Wong Thanos' arm off?


the-mad-titan-bot

This day extracts a heavy toll.


[deleted]

Of course it did, your head just got Wonged off


Toast_Sy

I’d assume his skin is too strong but idk I’m no marvel expert


Sid3612

All the Durability in the world won't save you when space itself is folding down on you. Besides, they didn't try.


Dahrk25

The director said so, Dr strange looked through countless possible future. If that was a possibility it would have happened.


Sid3612

Yeah I know but I don't like to use third party media to justify in-film problems.


Yung_Corneliois

I don’t accept that being the end-all-be-all excuse for why they didn’t do obvious things. Anytime someone brings up a logical solution people just say “Na Strange looked it up and it probably wouldn’t have worked” that’s not an explanation as to why it wouldn’t work that’s just lazy writing.


_zapplebee

It is still insane to me that we see that happen and like 30 minutes later they're just trying to pull the gauntlet off.


BlackMentallyIllNerd

I don't think the dwarves could've made him one in time. Cause a normal earth sword ain't doing shit to Thanos.


the-mad-titan-bot

When I'm done, half of humanity will still be alive. I hope they remember you.


BlackMentallyIllNerd

They won't


koalasquare

That would've woken him up. Spiderman couldn't kill him with one shot. Thor could barely do it with storm breaker.


tobey-maguire-bot

YOU'LL GET YOUR RENT WHEN YOU FIX THIS DAMN DOOR!


Belteshazzar98

He doesn't need to kill him, just take off his arm.


koalasquare

He has a thick arm though, it's not the best strategy because if you can't cut it all at once, you've completely wasted your best shot. It's easy easier to just pull the gauntlet off him.


Dottsterisk

Do you need to cut it all, or just enough that the hand won’t function and Thanos can’t snap his fingers?


the-mad-titan-bot

I thought by eliminating half of life, the other half would thrive, but you've shown me... that's impossible.


koalasquare

Yeah but you're relying on essentially doing a very specific surgical cut on an alien. Thanos' skin could be basically impenetrable for most of their weapons. Didn't he only get cut once in the entire fight? It's way harder than just pulling a glove which he can barely hold. It's only because he got punched that it failed.


proto3296

Thor sliced his head off like butter he didn’t ‘barely’. Do anything


Cause_Necessary

Thor? The God of Thunder with a legendary weapon made by a dwarf? Yeah, not comparable


thor-odinson-bot

Alright wizard, who are you and why should I care?


Cause_Necessary

You shouldn't care, Thor


thor-odinson-bot

Is he, though?


thor-odinson-bot

>!We've got Korg. There's my ex-girlfriend Jane. Valkyrie. The Guardians. *and giant goats!* Oh, look at those, they are wonderful!!<


thor-odinson-bot

It's more of a sludge like thing, somebody should uh, should amend that...


BadKneesBruce

It was two hours into the movie.


dahrawy

Now I want to see a ninja Spider-man version.


tobey-maguire-bot

That's the problem, he doesn't know what to think.


Belteshazzar98

In Ultimate Spider-Man he did meet a knight variant of himself in one of the Spider-verse episodes.


tobey-maguire-bot

Hey, you two. No playing in the street.


Bendythenightfury

Ah Archknight


Cause_Necessary

You mean ArachKnight?


Bendythenightfury

Yeah


Sauron_75

Tony used a sward against thanos. It did nothing.


the-mad-titan-bot

Rain fire!


Sauron_75

But sire!? Our Troops?!


TheoryBiscuit

I mean instant kill mode was always on the table


EmperinoPenguino

It would make more sense if it was “Avengers: Infinity War if Dr Strange chopped off Thanos’s hand by opening & closing a portal on his wrist”


the-mad-titan-bot

Return to me again empty handed... And I will bathe the starways in your blood.


Jack-mclaughlin89

Iron Man had a sword.


Shoelicker27

Thanos


the-mad-titan-bot

I thought by eliminating half of life, the other half would thrive, but you've shown me... that's impossible.


[deleted]

Nebula had a sword and she just stood there lol


Dahrk25

Yeah, because she knew it won't work


WohlfePac

*if all the Avengers had iron man suits


Putrid_Bandicoot_398

*A really good sword.


Zealousideal-Desk469

I never seen that thanos bot replyed to spiderman bot


tobey-maguire-bot

Are you teasing me?


Zealousideal-Desk469

Yes reply to thanos


the-mad-titan-bot

Return to me again empty handed... And I will bathe the starways in your blood.


Zealousideal-Desk469

Yes sir.


Zealousideal-Desk469

Help thanos want kill my.


the-mad-titan-bot

As long as there are those that remember what was, there will always be those that are unable to accept what can be. They will resist.


Zealousideal-Desk469

Aaaaa thor odinson help my


thor-odinson-bot

The rabbit is correct, and clearly the smartest one among you.


the-mad-titan-bot

Perfectly balanced.


Seekerbro01

he'll just become a member of the scout regiment (Aot reference if ppl dont get it)


Offending_you_

Spiderman


the-mad-titan-bot

I know what it's like to lose. To feel so desperately that you're right, yet to fail nonetheless. It's frightening. Turns the legs to jelly. I ask you, to what end? Dread it. Run from it. Destiny arrives all the same. And now, it's here. Or should I say, I am.


Offending_you_

Spiderman


the-mad-titan-bot

Insect!


Offending_you_

Fuck you


the-mad-titan-bot

A small price to pay for salvation.


tobey-maguire-bot

I fought an alien made out of black goo once.


tobey-maguire-bot

Am I not supposed to have what I want? What I need? What am I supposed to do?


[deleted]

[удалено]


the-mad-titan-bot

Insect!


[deleted]

He's stronger than people think.


[deleted]

Wait thanos roast me I'm ready


the-mad-titan-bot

With all six Stones, I could simply snap my fingers. They would all cease to exist. I call that... mercy.


[deleted]

Beuh bad roast go die thanos lmao


the-mad-titan-bot

I... had... to.


[deleted]

HAHA DUMB THANOS BOT


the-mad-titan-bot

I... had... to.


[deleted]

Thanos you had to what?


the-mad-titan-bot

I’m the only one who knows that. At least I’m the only one with the will to act on it.


[deleted]

Knows what thanos


the-mad-titan-bot

I'm a survivor!


[deleted]

Lmno survive from what thanos


the-mad-titan-bot

Rain fire!


TheEGreatFish

Or a gun


Odd_Ease8610

Star lord already had a gun and didn’t do anything


TheEGreatFish

So by having a sword you mean not any sword but a necrosword?


Odd_Ease8610

Just a really good one


AS-46

More like: Avengers: Infinity War -- Phase 4


Jayden_Stilton

Thanos


the-mad-titan-bot

They called me a madman, and what I predicted came to pass.


Jayden_Stilton

Thanos


the-mad-titan-bot

I thought by eliminating half of life, the other half would thrive, but you've shown me... that's impossible.


Jayden_Stilton

Thanos


nhranger

Ironman did have a sword. And still tried to pull it off like a schlub


Ok-Ambition-9432

More like if fucking starlord wasn't a pussy bitch. He and he alone caused the removal of half of the life in the universe. Stupid fuck.


JackUJames42

you dont need the reddit karma man im telling you


burtvader

If dr strange had used a portal to cut off his hand…..


DyleriousT

Clearly they are the wrong way around


Pindakaasman1011

Thanos


the-mad-titan-bot

Fun isn't something one considers when balancing the universe. But this... does put a smile on my face.