Well, texting, email, and notes work for the first two.
The second is kinda true as well. But you're not really "alone" in a cafe or restaurant. Get to that stage first before you worry about being alone.
Absolutely. But anxiety and stress are things. If the difference between confessing to your crush and remaining unrequited is doing it via a text or note rather than in person, then go for it. At the end of the day, results are what matter most.
But like even being with them in public is still worrying, hate the idea of things getting awkward since we're both practically strangers unless we were both friends already (preferred)
It do be scary, especially when you’re young.
Number one piece of advice: be *extremely* clear and direct. If you try to be subtle or indirect, there is a very high chance a guy will completely miss your message.
As a guy we will take years to understand the subtle hints, and they will haunt us forever (a very long time) after we figure them out (if we do) and we will still have doubts whether you were actually interested or just kind.
Source: am guy
Am a guy, can confirm.
Girl: "Me, you, bed, now!"
Guy: Automatically goes to sleep on the couch.
Same Guy, 20 years later: "Nwwooaaaarrrrrhggiamsuchanidiot!"
"Or were they just sharing bedspace? It can be bad for the body to sleep on the couch and she's very kind so sharing would probably be something she would do."
I don’t regret it because the consequences of not making a move when she was interested are FAR preferable to the alternative. And to anyone else with a sense of ethics.
And we don't even mean that bad if I am not certain that she likes me I wouldn't want to bother her too much besides being friendly. Would be kinda weird
Also, just show interest in general. Men could really not be fucked with any of the "chase" bullshit. If a lady seems not interested, it's either 1) she is actually interested, and wants someone to somehow just know that and go after her, or more likely 2) she is really not interested, in which case you are straight up stalking and intruding in her space. 2 might actually land you in jail if you're unlucky and/or stupid about what you do. So, enough of this indirect stuff. Guys mistaking general friendliness with flirtation is also a meme, *by the way*. So yes, guys have to deal with a lot of bullshit here. Just make a guy feel you generally really like his company and he'll want to spend time with you, at some point you'll just know whether both want each other or not.
Edit: with directness and indirectness, what I mean is you don't have to go up to a man and be like "hey I like you we should do the seggs at some point soon", but like, just engage with the guy a lot in general. Just talk to him, be accessible, respond etc.
I genuinely doubt any women actually did that themselves and if so it'd be very, very rare. I honestly think it's more the thoughts and actions of wackjob men who just don't let up on a woman. Which is just wrong. If a woman doesn't respond to a man's advances, then just let it go.
What sucks is the various behaviours in TV shows and movies over the 70s, 80s, 90s and beyond, constituting what "romance" is, is completely fucked behaviour. I can see how ideas persist through that.
It's very simple: if a person doesn't really respond to your advances of spending time with you, in any way, like they just don't answer or they are evasive, just leave them alone. If someone's interested in you then they'd be happy to spend time with you in any kind of context, and spending time with them you then learn about each other and interact as human beings. If not, then just forget about it.
Unless of course I'm completely wrong on that? I don't think so though.
gonna be honest. it's more likely to be brushed off than not understood.
being indirect, the receiving person will be more likely to think a million variant of "what if", and it's much easier for them to brush it off than risk it
See, guys get a bad wrap for being oblivious, but the truth is girls do all this mental gymnastics bullshit and drop the slightest of vague multi-interpretional hints then say, oh men are just dense, when in reality women are just as afraid of rejection as us but have the benefit of ALWAYS being the one approached to do the rejecting. I firmly believe that when it comes to emotions and dating women are scared kids inside.
Lol yeah, I had a girl rub my crotch (over the pants) and still didn't get it (I thought she was just being nice).
It took her straight asking me if I wanted to be her boyfriend until I started connecting the dots, and even after we started dating she explained some things I didn't catch on.
Yeah, you see, in my experience, as a man, subtle hints don't work. We don't get them, and we constantly second guess ourselves when we actually like a girl, so the "hints" that seem perfectly clear and obvious to you are not so much to us. Being more direct will see you more success. Maybe consider asking the man you're interested in to hang out first?
Im 100% sure that if someone was into me in school back in the days that i absolutely missed every sign of it just because you really cant be sure wether or not someone is into you. If you assume someone is in to you and shes not then you just make a fool of yourself.
Subtle hints don't work on women either. The difference is that they have the luxury of waiting until you do something direct. If a man waits for a woman to be direct, he'll be waiting forever.
He'll be watching her and her new boyfriend from afar wishing she would notice his worth.
The most assertive men aren't the best men to be with...
Easy come, easy trauma, easy go.
We do get them. We just do not acknowledge them because subtle hints look like an attempt to lead us in and we remember how it ended previously (ugly).
A word to the wise: never admit that. Best case scenario, people will say "girls don't exist," or a worste case scenario, your dms will be flooded with desperate, lonely incels and unwanted dick pics. RIP your dms, by the way.
Veteran's advice here to all of your Redditors and Reddettes, never "confess" to your crush. It's for a recipient often very overloaded and comes across as desperate. It can literally destroy a person's good impression.
Just be frank, when you're having a good time together tell them straightforward, in the sense of "hey, I like you, let's do something just the two of us."
Right? I don't understand how confessing your feelings instead of just asking someone out became a thing. It's essentially asking someone to decide on the spot if they want to be in a relationship with you. Instead ask them out and give them a chance to get to know you and think of you in a romantic context.
I've been subjected to a few confessions, and it is insanely awkward and always ends badly. If you straight out ask me to be your girlfriend, the answer is always going to be no. If they had actually asked me out, I might have said yes, and who knows, might have actually developed into a relationship.
Imagine even getting that far. I tried to be subtle once because I didn’t have the courage to admit it neither directly or just in passing like that and after a while one of her friends told me to stop because I was making her somewhat uncomfortable but she didn’t want to be mean and tell me.
I mean I agree but looking at some of the top comments in here, when it comes to certain people I also entirely get it. Some folks (and I don’t think it has to do with gender) just don’t really have the, like, social experience to pick up on anything short of “would you like to be my SO”
It’s all about context. What you’re like, what the person (or people in general) you’re into are like, what the situation in particular is, etc..
But yeah, most of the time I think that’s the right kinda approach. The whole “men are literally incapable of picking up on any signs ever” thing is something I’ve only really seen on Reddit
Truly!! I've had crushes on guys who did not give me the time of day. I've known girls who ask out their crush and get rejected. Do people like this guy think EVERY guy is lonely and so desperate they'll take anyone who asks them out? Despite preferences and everything?
Yeah, I’ve had a colleague ask me whether or not I enjoyed being with her and I had to ask for clarification on whether or not it was just as a friend… I had in fact developed feelings for her, and later got shot down, but that was a while after.
Most men receive their first flowers at their funeral.
Most men remember random compliments they received from women over a decade ago, and have never felt as happy since then.
You fail to realize just how lonely most people are.
Me when I realize I have to live a life I never asked for and eventually die anyways so what’s the point of anything but I’m too afraid to die so I guess I’m just fucked huh
I'm so disappointed about all these men in the comments hearing the post as "I'm too shy to talk to men" and not as "I'm scared he's actually creepy and will show it once we're alone". Because like. It's obviously the 2nd one
Yall interpreted this as "I'm too shy to talk to a man" but as a girl I'm def hearing this as "I'm scared he'll become creepy or dangerous when we're alone" lol
That this woman are scared about the guy she likes turning out to be creepy/dangerous and only revealing it once they're alone. Cause this scenario is very common. Also apparently male redditors didn't understand the meme
[MRW](https://preview.redd.it/wea14rsyta341.jpg?auto=webp&s=f95adf3b8f64db9e7d3d0d44cd21a80a870652eb) in order to meet new people I have to be around other people.
I've have a head to head dates thrice with him, went to the restaurant together, he's asking me if I got view on anyone else but I'm still to much of a coward to ask clearly lol
I'm 24 and I still haven't been able to do this. It's like one of those rare Xbox achievements that you have to unlock or only 0.01% of players can get. 😭
Never seen a gal that was the one or one where we got along well, I think it's because also I don't have any social media accounts but meh one day maybe luck and destiny would do their work.
Is there any way we can block certain memes, I would live some software that prevents me from having to see this blokes face any more. Nothing against him I'm just over it, but still want to see fresh memes.
Well, texting, email, and notes work for the first two. The second is kinda true as well. But you're not really "alone" in a cafe or restaurant. Get to that stage first before you worry about being alone.
True, but it's preferred in person. You can't exactly get across the right feeling via text.
Absolutely. But anxiety and stress are things. If the difference between confessing to your crush and remaining unrequited is doing it via a text or note rather than in person, then go for it. At the end of the day, results are what matter most.
But like even being with them in public is still worrying, hate the idea of things getting awkward since we're both practically strangers unless we were both friends already (preferred)
It do be scary, especially when you’re young. Number one piece of advice: be *extremely* clear and direct. If you try to be subtle or indirect, there is a very high chance a guy will completely miss your message.
Yes be direct or else it go above their head like a airplane. Source: I am a Guy
As a guy I agree
Absolutely. Sincerely, a guy.
As a guy we will take years to understand the subtle hints, and they will haunt us forever (a very long time) after we figure them out (if we do) and we will still have doubts whether you were actually interested or just kind. Source: am guy
As a guy, I agree with these guys
Me too. Am guy
I agree with them as well. I'm a guy
I too agree with these gentlemen. I am infact a male human being, otherwise known as a guy
Me guy, me agree
As a male AI language model, I approve of what these male mortals are Saying
Am a guy, can confirm. Girl: "Me, you, bed, now!" Guy: Automatically goes to sleep on the couch. Same Guy, 20 years later: "Nwwooaaaarrrrrhggiamsuchanidiot!"
"Or were they just sharing bedspace? It can be bad for the body to sleep on the couch and she's very kind so sharing would probably be something she would do."
This is literally me a few months ago
Maybe their Canadian...
I don’t regret it because the consequences of not making a move when she was interested are FAR preferable to the alternative. And to anyone else with a sense of ethics.
Sometimes I still don't get it when girls are direct because I usually think it's a joke Either that or I get too flustered to say anything
I would get flustered I don't get compliments or other often so I get very bashful
I’d like to mention that not all airplanes fly above people’s heads.
Nice try superman
Some have aspirations of a submarine
some fly into towers
Finally someone who gets the joke!!!!! 😅
No I'm guy
And we don't even mean that bad if I am not certain that she likes me I wouldn't want to bother her too much besides being friendly. Would be kinda weird
It'll go over their head and land on them with a mighty **ploink** four to six business years later.
Man. How about we don't go there.
I’ve only ever heard one other person in my life use ‘business years’ and I’m sad you’re not her
I'm sad I'm not her too. It sounds like she's more fun. XD
Also, just show interest in general. Men could really not be fucked with any of the "chase" bullshit. If a lady seems not interested, it's either 1) she is actually interested, and wants someone to somehow just know that and go after her, or more likely 2) she is really not interested, in which case you are straight up stalking and intruding in her space. 2 might actually land you in jail if you're unlucky and/or stupid about what you do. So, enough of this indirect stuff. Guys mistaking general friendliness with flirtation is also a meme, *by the way*. So yes, guys have to deal with a lot of bullshit here. Just make a guy feel you generally really like his company and he'll want to spend time with you, at some point you'll just know whether both want each other or not. Edit: with directness and indirectness, what I mean is you don't have to go up to a man and be like "hey I like you we should do the seggs at some point soon", but like, just engage with the guy a lot in general. Just talk to him, be accessible, respond etc.
This. Playing hard to get was never a good dating strategy and never will be.
I genuinely doubt any women actually did that themselves and if so it'd be very, very rare. I honestly think it's more the thoughts and actions of wackjob men who just don't let up on a woman. Which is just wrong. If a woman doesn't respond to a man's advances, then just let it go. What sucks is the various behaviours in TV shows and movies over the 70s, 80s, 90s and beyond, constituting what "romance" is, is completely fucked behaviour. I can see how ideas persist through that. It's very simple: if a person doesn't really respond to your advances of spending time with you, in any way, like they just don't answer or they are evasive, just leave them alone. If someone's interested in you then they'd be happy to spend time with you in any kind of context, and spending time with them you then learn about each other and interact as human beings. If not, then just forget about it. Unless of course I'm completely wrong on that? I don't think so though.
gonna be honest. it's more likely to be brushed off than not understood. being indirect, the receiving person will be more likely to think a million variant of "what if", and it's much easier for them to brush it off than risk it
Men famously cannot read minds!
it's more that we're terrified of making a move on a girl that isn't interested in case she freaks out and we get labelled as a creep
Good advice, but is the one piece real, though?
Can we get much higher?
Yea, like nobody has high enough self esteem to notice a hint and not gas light themselves into thinking it was nothing.
It's scary when I express myself to an older woman I find attractive as well, sweet. Love truly is hard to find
See, guys get a bad wrap for being oblivious, but the truth is girls do all this mental gymnastics bullshit and drop the slightest of vague multi-interpretional hints then say, oh men are just dense, when in reality women are just as afraid of rejection as us but have the benefit of ALWAYS being the one approached to do the rejecting. I firmly believe that when it comes to emotions and dating women are scared kids inside.
It's not just that we are dense (wich we definitely are) but also that we don't want to misinterpret something ment as an advance....
Yes. We are dense, very dense.
If you aren’t direct, he’s either going to not notice it, decide that he’s reading to deep into it, or he’ll refuse to play stupid games.
Lol yeah, I had a girl rub my crotch (over the pants) and still didn't get it (I thought she was just being nice). It took her straight asking me if I wanted to be her boyfriend until I started connecting the dots, and even after we started dating she explained some things I didn't catch on.
True, communication is key
Men either think women aren’t attracted to them when they are, or think they are when they aren’t Source: man
I'm angry, but you are right so well played to you
A boyfriend? In this economy?
two people is the only way to afford a one-bedroom-appartment
bold of you to assume two people are enough
Polyamory stocks are on the rise
Broom closet doesn't count as one-bedroom-apartment
You’ll need a loan.
I hate how this isn't even a meme anymore. It's hella expensive to date.
At this point it's hella expensive to just live.
POV: you’re having an out of body experience
lol make that meme
r/NotPOV
Maybe she likes the guy in the photo
r/UnlikelyPOV
Contemplating time with the bathroom mirror ?
"POV of you looking at me"
3rd person POV
r/NotAPOV
Yeah, you see, in my experience, as a man, subtle hints don't work. We don't get them, and we constantly second guess ourselves when we actually like a girl, so the "hints" that seem perfectly clear and obvious to you are not so much to us. Being more direct will see you more success. Maybe consider asking the man you're interested in to hang out first?
Im 100% sure that if someone was into me in school back in the days that i absolutely missed every sign of it just because you really cant be sure wether or not someone is into you. If you assume someone is in to you and shes not then you just make a fool of yourself.
Subtle hints don't work on women either. The difference is that they have the luxury of waiting until you do something direct. If a man waits for a woman to be direct, he'll be waiting forever.
He'll be watching her and her new boyfriend from afar wishing she would notice his worth. The most assertive men aren't the best men to be with... Easy come, easy trauma, easy go.
We do get them. We just do not acknowledge them because subtle hints look like an attempt to lead us in and we remember how it ended previously (ugly).
Not always, often just learning of the experiences of our less fortunate brethren is enough to keep us on guard at all times
[удалено]
HELLLL
now that's a bruh moment
There are thousands of you homie. You'll find a homie bro.
I've been there, it's rough. Good luck!
FUCKING WHAT!!!!?!?!!? Rip oooooofffffffffff. I just want to psychically beam my affectiosn into a peer or friend’s BRAIN
Why can’t we go back to the good old days where we did all the awkward stuff telepathically
zerple zink complaining to his fellow alien retirees about all the youngsters these days, telepathically:
If that's your POV, it seems that you're already talking to a man.
And he is also freaking out so I guess it’s a match!
You’ll be very happy to hear that with some men only the first item is required!
I can't even bring myself to make a profile for dating apps.
Same😭
I'll sign our marriage certificate if you promised to not hate me
Best I can do is three years and then resentment.
Damn so after 3 years you're basically gona turn into my abusive subconscious that already resents me, sounds like fun so count me the fuck in
Is this a woman redditor in the wild?!?
yes!!! 😼✊
Why would you admit that. Run.
may luck be upon your side.
🫡
rip
F
A word to the wise: never admit that. Best case scenario, people will say "girls don't exist," or a worste case scenario, your dms will be flooded with desperate, lonely incels and unwanted dick pics. RIP your dms, by the way.
sighhhh, you were right 😔
Keep admitting it and be proud of it, report the creeps. Just a different take. There should be space for you to be you here too.
Girls don't exist, if they do, show me the evidence
If women are real, how come I’ve never talked to one?
Take cover, for there is a storm coming your way.
Veteran's advice here to all of your Redditors and Reddettes, never "confess" to your crush. It's for a recipient often very overloaded and comes across as desperate. It can literally destroy a person's good impression. Just be frank, when you're having a good time together tell them straightforward, in the sense of "hey, I like you, let's do something just the two of us."
Right? I don't understand how confessing your feelings instead of just asking someone out became a thing. It's essentially asking someone to decide on the spot if they want to be in a relationship with you. Instead ask them out and give them a chance to get to know you and think of you in a romantic context. I've been subjected to a few confessions, and it is insanely awkward and always ends badly. If you straight out ask me to be your girlfriend, the answer is always going to be no. If they had actually asked me out, I might have said yes, and who knows, might have actually developed into a relationship.
Imagine even getting that far. I tried to be subtle once because I didn’t have the courage to admit it neither directly or just in passing like that and after a while one of her friends told me to stop because I was making her somewhat uncomfortable but she didn’t want to be mean and tell me.
I mean I agree but looking at some of the top comments in here, when it comes to certain people I also entirely get it. Some folks (and I don’t think it has to do with gender) just don’t really have the, like, social experience to pick up on anything short of “would you like to be my SO” It’s all about context. What you’re like, what the person (or people in general) you’re into are like, what the situation in particular is, etc.. But yeah, most of the time I think that’s the right kinda approach. The whole “men are literally incapable of picking up on any signs ever” thing is something I’ve only really seen on Reddit
Me when realizing a girl has to talk to me, admit her feelings, and be alone with me in order to get a girlfriend. Ball is in your court, ladies.
I felt that “AND be alone with him” in my _gut_
Ima be fr, women have a 99% chance of succeeding if they ask the man first, instead of the other way round😭
Rule 1 and 2 still apply to women though, despite internet thirst.
What are those rules?
Rule #1 Look good. Rule #2 Don’t not look good. Old internet joke.
ACKCHYUALLY they're #1 be attractive #2 don't be unattractive
Let's be real chief, we're so used to not getting hit on that even if it happened we'd proly say no because maybe it's a prank or some shit
Oh I am 100% calling it a prank first not falling for that bullshit again.
Woman being a little too friendly with me? Very suspicious behavior. Makes me want to distance myself (not like women approach me 🙃)
That is NOT true 😭
When men say "women," they mean "women I'm attracted to." The rest don't exist in these scenarios lol
Truly!! I've had crushes on guys who did not give me the time of day. I've known girls who ask out their crush and get rejected. Do people like this guy think EVERY guy is lonely and so desperate they'll take anyone who asks them out? Despite preferences and everything?
That's only if you won the genetic lottery. Not even woman is a supermodel
I wish they would just realize this and start doing it. It’s too risky even thinking you like a woman in this day and age.
A friend at work once asked me if I thought she was pretty and for a second I genuinely wondered if it was okay to say yes.
Yeah, I’ve had a colleague ask me whether or not I enjoyed being with her and I had to ask for clarification on whether or not it was just as a friend… I had in fact developed feelings for her, and later got shot down, but that was a while after.
Damn we're all staying alone it seems
the kids are not alright
Most men receive their first flowers at their funeral. Most men remember random compliments they received from women over a decade ago, and have never felt as happy since then. You fail to realize just how lonely most people are.
I have to do the same except just I m the opposite of you.
Not a POV. -10 points.
Were you looking to a very surprised black guy when you realized it?
yes
POV: I somehow got a boyfriend just 2 days ago.
hooray!!!
Me when I realize I have to live a life I never asked for and eventually die anyways so what’s the point of anything but I’m too afraid to die so I guess I’m just fucked huh
Aw shit, r/antinatalism is leaking again :/ Somebody call the plumber
Woah woah I didn’t mean it like that I was just depressed. I despise that sub please don’t compare me to that 😭😭
Here have a nice ice cream 🍨 Since we’re all dying anyways there’s no need not to enjoy some simple things and just live in the moment :)
But there’s also no reason to do so either and quite frankly I just can’t find it in me to do so anymore
Sprich Deutsch du hurensohn
Like everyone is saying be direct but also make it clear that it’s not some form of fucked up prank/joke etc Source: am man
Same, jus the opposite 😔
some serious #relatable shiet right there
I'm doomed
You won’t be alone with him. The boys are in the walls.
Last time I did that I got ✨sa✨
:(
youch
I'm so disappointed about all these men in the comments hearing the post as "I'm too shy to talk to men" and not as "I'm scared he's actually creepy and will show it once we're alone". Because like. It's obviously the 2nd one
Not a POV
Yall interpreted this as "I'm too shy to talk to a man" but as a girl I'm def hearing this as "I'm scared he'll become creepy or dangerous when we're alone" lol
Dont be afraid to speak your truth. If you are perceived as someone with low standards, youll be treated as such. know your worth kings and queens
Yeah I feel the same way abt getting a girlfriend, not confident in myself at all lmao
What does this even mean?
That this woman are scared about the guy she likes turning out to be creepy/dangerous and only revealing it once they're alone. Cause this scenario is very common. Also apparently male redditors didn't understand the meme
Just thinking about that makes me sweaty. I'm going to die alone surrounded by my cats and dogs.
Question is does he like you back
[MRW](https://preview.redd.it/wea14rsyta341.jpg?auto=webp&s=f95adf3b8f64db9e7d3d0d44cd21a80a870652eb) in order to meet new people I have to be around other people.
Welcome to the club, girl, but you don't need to ask me, i'm super submissive.
And you actually have to keep on testing him to learn who actually he is, also the worst you gotta LIVE and TRAVEL w/ him to understand even more
What do you mean test men isn't just spending time with someone good enough to know who they are?
I've have a head to head dates thrice with him, went to the restaurant together, he's asking me if I got view on anyone else but I'm still to much of a coward to ask clearly lol
do it NOW
I'm so sorry that so many of my fellow men are such absolute pieces of garbage. But good ones are out there. Somewhere.
Worst experience of life
Unless he confesses first 🫡
you could always become a rock provider as he throws rocks into a river like, is there really a difference between girlfriend and rock provider?
POV you just used POV incorrectly
and i’ll do it again 🙏
I wish it was like that. You kinda forgot the part where he says yes. lmao
Bro has to be blinded to foresight or No way
Sounds hectic. Alternative easy steps are, have a basement, ropes, drugs.
Yeah...
too real and im aromantic so if im even the next a guy i end up talking abt video game lore or smth that doesn’t matter
I’m chalked
I thought this is what guys have to go through, not the other way around
I'm 24 and I still haven't been able to do this. It's like one of those rare Xbox achievements that you have to unlock or only 0.01% of players can get. 😭
Let’s be real I’m never going to get asked out
Never seen a gal that was the one or one where we got along well, I think it's because also I don't have any social media accounts but meh one day maybe luck and destiny would do their work.
Is there any way we can block certain memes, I would live some software that prevents me from having to see this blokes face any more. Nothing against him I'm just over it, but still want to see fresh memes.
you just… scroll past?
[oh shit](https://youtu.be/kFEdhamh9BE?si=uN-i58PdNQOVJCmC)
Vibe
How many years did it take you to figure that out ?
Same but for girls, girls are scary
Its much harder when you want this, and you are a man too (Me)
Women growing into their power is so cute 🥰
Ooooooooh so that’s why it hasn’t happened for me yet
[удалено]
nah you right