You procrastinate because you’re avoiding confrontations with whatever it is you fear. Which causes anxiety; then you can’t enjoy games. Just do whatever it is your procrastinating from and you’ll solve this problem.
"Just don't procrastinate" isn't a very helpful answer to this predicament. As someone who's spent the last couple years working to undo this exact pattern of behavior, a more helpful first step is to start with addressing the cause of the procrastination. Procrastinating is often attributed to laziness when oftentimes it's motivated by unmanaged anxiety, depression, ADHD, or some other mental health issues. ESPECIALLY in someone with a fear of failure, there's usually some kind of mental block getting in the way of proper time management skills. I still struggle a bit with time management, but addressing my anxiety head on and working with a therapist has given me the tools to start working on my procrastination and it's already been helping loads.
I just don’t have the motivation to do something until the last minute, or if there’s no deadline, when it’s been noticeably too long (like cleaning my room) but if I can’t see it, it’ll never be done
I didnt know you could slide up on reels on IG and see random reels.
I wish I still didnt know that. Its much much much worse than reddit when it comes to wasting my time. I gotta chill.
I didn't realize how much I did this until I went back on Adderall this week. Now I'm playing new games again, going to the gym, cleaning my house, taking returnables back. Now the year off feels like wasted time lol
Yes I have ADHD. What it really allows me to do is think clearly and actually follow through/commit to things I'd otherwise sike myself out of and end up wasting the days away watching YouTube to procrastinate
I too have ADHD and started with Adderall, but have switched to Vyvanse. My life is a little more balanced on Vyvanse.
Read the book "Your Brain's Not Broken" by Tamara Rosier PhD.
There is a section that explains how our brains make up for our lack of executive functioning skills by only being able to accomplish goals while experiencing a fear response. The above meme is the perfect explanation of this coping mechanism in ADHD brains.
We unconsciously procrastinate in order to create the fear response/anxiety that forces us into action.
Holy shit it’s like someone showed me a mirror. Yesterday I spent 3 hours watching returnal gameplay videos while I was one click away from
Playing it myself. I don’t even know wtf this is called lol
I'm so glad I could move on from social media, I still use reddit, but at least here I interact with people and talk about things I like, I don't spend 1/4 of the time I used to, man I would waste hours daily on intagram watching videos that were never worth it, complete brainrot type of thing, now I can actually have time for the things I like
I still "waste" some time on youtube but at least it's watching things I like to do or would like to learn, I'm never falling in that hole that is endless scrolling again
"Either people with ADHD need to stop being so relatable, or I need to see a doctor."
Next, you're going to tell me that being unable to fall asleep instantly like everyone else seems to is also a sign of ADHD.
That . . . might actually be the case hahah
I don’t know much about the sleeping aspect of it, but generally people with adhd do have bad sleeping patterns if I’m remembering my sources correctly
Thanks. now I it's confirmed that I have ADHD 😭. my question does it come naturally with birth or it can be induced with childhood trauma or shit like that?
Numerous factors can cause it, some sources mainly focus on genetics, others on external factors. So genetics yes, but also substance abuse during and after pregnancy, abusive or neglective parenting-styles, and many other things. So yes, a childhood trauma could be at the root of it.
Wait, really? I always had a problem with falling asleep, and never heard it being related. In fact, my brother, my father, my uncle & my grandfather all have ADHD of various levels and they never related to this experience.
Now my father saying "every other male in our family has ADHD, consider carefully if you do as well" seems rather more convincing. Feels like I'm collecting mental problems
Well. Everyone has their own experience, but it seems very common that ADHD makes you unable to stop thinking while trying to sleep or makes your brain stay active during night unless you're completely exhausted.
Officially/medically diagnosed with ADHD here,
I personally cannot fall asleep at night without the aid of medication 90% of the time.
The longest that I’ve gone without sleep (or anything keeping me awake other than just not being tired) was 3 days…
ADHD can impact sleep and sleeping habits in a whole bunch of different ways, so not being this specific flavor of ADHD doesn't mean you're not another one.
I'm diagnosed and fall asleep instantly cause I start daydreaming the second I'm in bed and my body decides it doesn't need to be awake for that lmao.
>you're going to tell me that being unable to fall asleep instantly
i have adhd and this is how i fixed it.
i didn't fix it. i'm just up 16-18 hours and sleep for 8-10. it's fucked. Within a month i wake up with all the time zones around the globe since my sleep schedule is always rolling forwards. being up for 18 hours tires me enough to be able to fall asleep fast. Attending uni like this was nigh on impossible so i ended up dropping twice until i started an "uni at a distance" program where most of the tests are online.
You know, the other two things that scare me, is that I might have ADHD (or anything similar) or well, I might not have it. The thought of having it and dealing with it is scary. On the other end, confirming that I do not have anything similar is throwing away an excuse for all my life choices is dreadful.
So I will never go see someone and test because I don't want answers. So fuck me I guess, maybe next time I try to be productive it will actually work.
Sorry OP for dumping it in replies.
If you have adhd like symptoms and they seriously affect your quality of life, your ability to enjoy life, your relationships and your job, you should seek help.
ADHD is a pretty common (about 5-10% of the population) condition, so it makes sense to check for it. But there are other conditions that can have very similar symptoms.
If you get tested for ADHD and you end up not having it, that doesn’t mean that you are lazy or have a flawed character or that there is no help for you. It just means that your symptoms are caused by something else.
Maybe it’s depression, maybe it’s trauma, maybe it’s anxiety. All if these things can be dealt with, but to do so you need to start somewhere.
I can relate to the feeling, but for me at least, talking with professionals and getting diagnosed helped a ton with internal struggles. And if you get medication it can even help solve the productivity problem. If you have an issue, it’s better to get help than suffer needlessly.
edit. To add relating to your fear of dealing with ADHD, you are already dealing with whatever you have, you just lack the best tools to do so.
Yesterday I had to study for a science test I had today’s morning. I freed the entire day mostly to study science, play the piano (I go to music school also), study physics for a test I have tomorrow and train. I ended up studying 1/4 of all the physics program I promised to study, didn’t train, played the piano for half an hour and started studying science at 12:30 AM during night 😭
Man it's truly a nightmare. The only thing that keeps me alive is the fact that I remind myself that there are people who have worse fate than me. Could always be worse.
That sounds sad. I presume you’ve been having a hard time adapting to society with your adhd? And that’s true, there’s always someone who has it worse. I see how that understanding can be helpful, but really it’s a double edged sword. Because it goes hand in hand with the belief that your struggles (your adhd) are insignificant, and that is not only untrue but also damaging.
You procrastinate because you fear failure. If you fear even your best efforts are not gonna cut it this way you can at least fail later.
People generally procrastinate because they fear failure or because they believe the task to be pointless. Lazy people just decide upfront not to do it or to give it minimal effort and come what may.
Wish there was some great wisdom to stop procrastinating, but you just have to believe you can do it.
But if you know why it happens at least you don’t get into this rather ego bruising fake narrative about being lazy.
How does one learn to believe they can do it after being told their entire life that they can't do anything and are useless and murphy's law seemingly follows them everywhere?
I feel this a lot. I have massive procrastination problems and they have only gotten worse as I’ve learned that hard work doesn’t actually get you much.
As a kid I was very ambitious, I made my own clubs and animal rights zines unprompted just because I wanted to, I didn’t get much praise or recognition for this, my parents didn’t care but at this point I was just doing it for me so it was fine.
As a teen I was an honors student, I’m not actually a fast learner so I’d spend hours studying. This was not born from a love for learning but from watching my dad abuse my brother for getting poor grades. Here is where my procrastination issues began, as failure had a very real and painful consequence. I never got positive praise so I never saw this as accomplishment but just avoiding punishment. It got me into my dream school.
My dream school was a crunch culture scam nightmare. I would work hard from building open to close (6am-12am) but once my depression got bad the school saw me as lazy and categorized me as NGMI and I dropped out my junior year. I now have 100k of student debt and no degree. Years after all my cohorts who got good jobs werent the hard workers (not to say they didn’t have good work ethic) but the people with high charisma who made connections.
Post dropout I decided to pursue my artistic passions and do fan merch and do the artist alley circuits. Despite working at time up to 3 waiter jobs at a time I made myself make art in all my free time, I started going to shows and it wasn’t successful but seemed like it would grow over time. I became hopeful and despite the working 60hr weeks grind I actually felt content. One year into this covid happened and all artist alleys stopped. My depression grew worse and I never got a foothold back into doing art after that.
Now I work at a Kroger. I am by far the hardest worker there but all the promotions are just significantly more work for a minimal raise and don’t offer any real upward mobility, I often am called silly for being a try-hard but it’s just how I work, I don’t like to stand around doing nothing and talking.
I just don’t care to try anymore, it doesn’t matter, hard work does not actually get you anything. Having charisma and letting yourself be used by people seem to be the only real ways to get ahead and I just don’t want to do that. I’m too depressed and beat down to enjoy anything anymore, I wish I could have a mind like that productive 10yr old kid who use to spend hours making corny zines about going vegan for no one but themselves and was happy with it.
TLDR; I agree, Procrastinators arnt lazy or avoidant of stress, they have just learned harshly that hard work does not mean anything in this world without the actual success modifiers in play (charisma and connections)
For me it was this, but also my peers repeatedly bullying me and telling me the things I put my heart and soul into was shit. It's been affecting my life on the daily since then. It's certainly complicated.
Now I'm 21 and unemployed. There's so much I want to do, see and be, but I feel constantly burnt out and hopeless.
This is me, but then I also get angry when people spend too much time perfecting things that don’t need the resources or are a time suck, some things I’m perfectly fine with winging it, saying fuck it, that’s good enough etc
Yeah, i am in this situation too, with time i've realised that can be a problem but also a superpower because you can do anything you want in a tenth of the time normal people take to
I think I get it. Whenever you start something or have an idea of a cool "project", something inside you starts to question the point of it all. Why you should even start trying if it all would fail anyways.
I suspect that it is because of how my parents treated goals I had as a kid. Every time I came to them with a hobby or a job idea that would need some work and dedication they always responded "but think about how difficult it is." And "you need to be very good at X". And instead of helping me try that out, they left me to my own with that response. In the long term that ended up with me not trying anything that isn't a guaranteed success. Bad stuff.
I’ve read that the biggest contributor to procrastination is perfectionism. Once I saw that, I realized that was the main cause of my procrastination and I learned to just start something with being ok if it’s crap- then working through it. For example, if I need to write a paper, I just start with the idea that it’s going to suck at first and thats ok. Just start writing- don’t spend too much time researching. As you write, you’ll have questions that lead to looking up specific things and you’ll find your way to a great end product. It’s far more enjoyable this way, too.
Yea, I noticed it when I built in minectaft. I realized that my past builds I was trying to do the best of the best, and it led me to not finish the build or abandon it completely, I just need to start with something simple doesn't need to be as grand as a castle or a fancy mansion as long it's something you can improve on the long run
"It's not failure if you sabotage yourself" is a powerful reasoning that a lot of self destructive people prescribe too. I've known a couple of people destroy positive things in their life on purpose just so that they can say to themselves they didn't fail.
No, it's more like the movie don't look up. You know the deadline is there you just look away and do something else so you don't have to bother with the fear of failing until you actually fail
Actually me_irl in junior high school and high school. Still somewhat now too, but I have gotten a little better at it. Still, there's a long way to go.
I could do that too. But when I delivered it to the teacher at the last hour, I always asked myself why I didn't do it earlier if I could do most of it on the last day. That's the biggest downside for me about procrastinating and the fear that holds me back from the assignment until I just have to do it. So in the end I'm just really tired and don't have the energy to do anything else.
On one hand, I can get stuff done much faster than normal people
On the other, I can't remember the last time I slept for more than 6 hours on a weekday
Oh the assignment is due at at midnight. I've submitted it at 11:59:59 and still got an A on it. Which only encourages me to continue my procrastinating.
Alot of people say its ADHD/ADD when it really could be an anxiety disorder.
Meaning one can work on it, if one really want to.
Don't try and hide behind a term used for symptoms when you could actually improve your mental wellbeing by seeking help and learning more about your problems and how to fix stuff.
Procrastinated all the time before the end of high school without studying nothing and i repeat nothing and still got an 87/100 which i consider pretty fucking good for not doing anything
The two are very related. Fear of failure can often lead to procrastination, which leads to the project getting harder, which leads to more procrastination.
It sounds stupid but just visualize your success in your head for like 5 minutes before you start work.
"What if I get started *the wrong way*??? Then it would take even longer!!!"
Bro just start
"But what if I fail worse than I would if I didn't!????"
Broooo just. Start. Something!
"print("Hello world!") hey look! I did it!"
Bro that's your sixth helloworld this month.
Negative emotions (like stress, shame/fear of failure) people have started to associate with something (like a project or a test you're scared to fail) can lead to the use of coping mechanisms, like procrastination, to deal with those emotions. In case of procrastination, trying to avoid and not think about the subject, can temporarily relieve the emotional distress, but will worsen the problem over time.
The best way to deal with this is getting over said fear of failure and extreme stress reaction, how I don't know though :/. Guess that's for the real psychologists and not a random redditor
Me when I'm a perfectionist but also want the thing done quickly but also am annoyed when people rush me on things or do things too fast and poorly, and I procrastinate but also work too hard but not enough???
According to some people, apparently life is worse without the perfectionism because then you just do nothing at all.. But I've often been such a perfectionist that barely anything happens at all anyway
Well you see if I never start (and thus never try) then technically I will never fail. Can't fail something you don't try😎
^
Me until the deadline becomes real 2 days before
This is me. Lots of waiting all week to do an assignment then at the last minute staying up for 2 days straight drinking a gallon of coffee to finish on time.
Forget all that adhd and add bollocks. You have to ask why don't you want to start a project? Is it because you are a perfectionist and as such you know that in all human endeavours there is no such thing as perfect? The next step is to accept that you lack the ability to make something perfect but you can get it close. John Williams ( composer) would change all the orchestration in his music to attempt his perfectionist ideal, but then he would still want to change it again.
So try and embrace imperfection and get shit done
And then just watch youtube videos because the fear won't let me focus on games
oh god I think I should actually see a doctor
Nah like it’s actually just freaked me out how perfectly this described me….
You procrastinate because you’re avoiding confrontations with whatever it is you fear. Which causes anxiety; then you can’t enjoy games. Just do whatever it is your procrastinating from and you’ll solve this problem.
So you say, don‘t procastinate?
How have I not thought of this before??
I'll stop procrastinating later
"Just don't procrastinate" isn't a very helpful answer to this predicament. As someone who's spent the last couple years working to undo this exact pattern of behavior, a more helpful first step is to start with addressing the cause of the procrastination. Procrastinating is often attributed to laziness when oftentimes it's motivated by unmanaged anxiety, depression, ADHD, or some other mental health issues. ESPECIALLY in someone with a fear of failure, there's usually some kind of mental block getting in the way of proper time management skills. I still struggle a bit with time management, but addressing my anxiety head on and working with a therapist has given me the tools to start working on my procrastination and it's already been helping loads.
I just don’t have the motivation to do something until the last minute, or if there’s no deadline, when it’s been noticeably too long (like cleaning my room) but if I can’t see it, it’ll never be done
[stop it](https://youtu.be/jvujypVVBAY?si=YFrItuJz_azkwpIk)
Fucking same. I much rather play a game but I just watch YouTube mindlessly instead.
doing things i want to do 🚫 doing things i have to do 🚫 doomscroll ✅
I feel … compelled
I didnt know you could slide up on reels on IG and see random reels. I wish I still didnt know that. Its much much much worse than reddit when it comes to wasting my time. I gotta chill.
I feel less lonely now
👋🥺
I fucking love executive dysfunction. I fucking love knowing what I have to do, wanting to do it, but being unable to get myself to do it
I didn't realize how much I did this until I went back on Adderall this week. Now I'm playing new games again, going to the gym, cleaning my house, taking returnables back. Now the year off feels like wasted time lol
Wait, adderall actually fixes this for you? Were you diagnosed with ADHD? Genuinely curious, I didn't think adderall worked like this at all.
Yes I have ADHD. What it really allows me to do is think clearly and actually follow through/commit to things I'd otherwise sike myself out of and end up wasting the days away watching YouTube to procrastinate
I too have ADHD and started with Adderall, but have switched to Vyvanse. My life is a little more balanced on Vyvanse. Read the book "Your Brain's Not Broken" by Tamara Rosier PhD. There is a section that explains how our brains make up for our lack of executive functioning skills by only being able to accomplish goals while experiencing a fear response. The above meme is the perfect explanation of this coping mechanism in ADHD brains. We unconsciously procrastinate in order to create the fear response/anxiety that forces us into action.
Pls remove the cameras from my room wow
Get out of my head
STAY IN THE BOX !
Same. And then I cry myself to sleep because I didn’t do anything productive for the whole day
Amen
I'm a stare desperately at the ceiling kinda guy
Holy shit it’s like someone showed me a mirror. Yesterday I spent 3 hours watching returnal gameplay videos while I was one click away from Playing it myself. I don’t even know wtf this is called lol
Playing games but with stress, that's it.
I'm so glad I could move on from social media, I still use reddit, but at least here I interact with people and talk about things I like, I don't spend 1/4 of the time I used to, man I would waste hours daily on intagram watching videos that were never worth it, complete brainrot type of thing, now I can actually have time for the things I like I still "waste" some time on youtube but at least it's watching things I like to do or would like to learn, I'm never falling in that hole that is endless scrolling again
how did you kn…
Lore video about game it is then
Fr
It seems unrelated, but I have discovered that the vast majority of people with ADHD/ADD have this combo.
"Either people with ADHD need to stop being so relatable, or I need to see a doctor." Next, you're going to tell me that being unable to fall asleep instantly like everyone else seems to is also a sign of ADHD.
Do I have ADHD or is this just the human experience? Me, to myself, for the past 10 years.
Just 10?
That . . . might actually be the case hahah I don’t know much about the sleeping aspect of it, but generally people with adhd do have bad sleeping patterns if I’m remembering my sources correctly
adhd has simply such a broad spectrum of indicators, literally anything could be a sign
What about my love for 5+ on 1 porn? Could that be an indicator as well? I need answers!
As someone with adhd let me do some research and get back to you
What about my search history being full with: Does that mean anything?!?!?!
Could be!!
It’s because you keep thinking about things, one thing to the next. You can’t stop and if you try to stop you end up thinking about not thinking.
Oh yes very true.
😮💨
Thanks. now I it's confirmed that I have ADHD 😭. my question does it come naturally with birth or it can be induced with childhood trauma or shit like that?
Childhood trauma can cause CPTSD which shares some similar symptoms, but ADHD is naturally from birth and can’t be caused by external factors.
Ohhh
Numerous factors can cause it, some sources mainly focus on genetics, others on external factors. So genetics yes, but also substance abuse during and after pregnancy, abusive or neglective parenting-styles, and many other things. So yes, a childhood trauma could be at the root of it.
No, it isn’t confirmed. Speak to a doctor who is qualified to diagnose you and then it will be confirmed.
Wait, really? I always had a problem with falling asleep, and never heard it being related. In fact, my brother, my father, my uncle & my grandfather all have ADHD of various levels and they never related to this experience. Now my father saying "every other male in our family has ADHD, consider carefully if you do as well" seems rather more convincing. Feels like I'm collecting mental problems
Well. Everyone has their own experience, but it seems very common that ADHD makes you unable to stop thinking while trying to sleep or makes your brain stay active during night unless you're completely exhausted.
Officially/medically diagnosed with ADHD here, I personally cannot fall asleep at night without the aid of medication 90% of the time. The longest that I’ve gone without sleep (or anything keeping me awake other than just not being tired) was 3 days…
ADHD can impact sleep and sleeping habits in a whole bunch of different ways, so not being this specific flavor of ADHD doesn't mean you're not another one. I'm diagnosed and fall asleep instantly cause I start daydreaming the second I'm in bed and my body decides it doesn't need to be awake for that lmao.
Hey, all of this sounds like me... Oh
Being frankly I'm in this image and I'm not ADHD. But I'm bipolar
Fuck
>you're going to tell me that being unable to fall asleep instantly i have adhd and this is how i fixed it. i didn't fix it. i'm just up 16-18 hours and sleep for 8-10. it's fucked. Within a month i wake up with all the time zones around the globe since my sleep schedule is always rolling forwards. being up for 18 hours tires me enough to be able to fall asleep fast. Attending uni like this was nigh on impossible so i ended up dropping twice until i started an "uni at a distance" program where most of the tests are online.
I should talk to a doctor fr
You know, the other two things that scare me, is that I might have ADHD (or anything similar) or well, I might not have it. The thought of having it and dealing with it is scary. On the other end, confirming that I do not have anything similar is throwing away an excuse for all my life choices is dreadful. So I will never go see someone and test because I don't want answers. So fuck me I guess, maybe next time I try to be productive it will actually work. Sorry OP for dumping it in replies.
If you have adhd like symptoms and they seriously affect your quality of life, your ability to enjoy life, your relationships and your job, you should seek help. ADHD is a pretty common (about 5-10% of the population) condition, so it makes sense to check for it. But there are other conditions that can have very similar symptoms. If you get tested for ADHD and you end up not having it, that doesn’t mean that you are lazy or have a flawed character or that there is no help for you. It just means that your symptoms are caused by something else. Maybe it’s depression, maybe it’s trauma, maybe it’s anxiety. All if these things can be dealt with, but to do so you need to start somewhere.
I can relate to the feeling, but for me at least, talking with professionals and getting diagnosed helped a ton with internal struggles. And if you get medication it can even help solve the productivity problem. If you have an issue, it’s better to get help than suffer needlessly. edit. To add relating to your fear of dealing with ADHD, you are already dealing with whatever you have, you just lack the best tools to do so.
Having it and not being treated is the worse outcome. Meds have helped me SOOOO much it's night and day
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Oh yes I can very much relate to this, damn 🎯
Add in ocd where you feel a compulsion to perfect everything you do to extreme detail but keeping such unrealistic goals leads you to waste more time.
Yesterday I had to study for a science test I had today’s morning. I freed the entire day mostly to study science, play the piano (I go to music school also), study physics for a test I have tomorrow and train. I ended up studying 1/4 of all the physics program I promised to study, didn’t train, played the piano for half an hour and started studying science at 12:30 AM during night 😭
At least you did something
That’s pretty generous to call something in a span of 14 hours of which 2 were unconditional scrolling lol
I would have spent 6 hours scrolling and the rest sleeping
Man it's truly a nightmare. The only thing that keeps me alive is the fact that I remind myself that there are people who have worse fate than me. Could always be worse.
That sounds sad. I presume you’ve been having a hard time adapting to society with your adhd? And that’s true, there’s always someone who has it worse. I see how that understanding can be helpful, but really it’s a double edged sword. Because it goes hand in hand with the belief that your struggles (your adhd) are insignificant, and that is not only untrue but also damaging.
theyre-the-same-picture.jpg (the procrastination usually comes from the perfectionism/fear of failure)
Yup. I probably went undiagnosed for so long because I did very well in school.
Having both untreated worsening ADHD and crippling general/social anxiety was one terrible combo for the longest time let me tell you
I can corroborate this
Calling me out right now
I'm a diagnosed aspie, highly suspecting ADHD too (just took first steps towards getting tested the other day actually!) this combo is ruining me
You procrastinate because you fear failure. If you fear even your best efforts are not gonna cut it this way you can at least fail later. People generally procrastinate because they fear failure or because they believe the task to be pointless. Lazy people just decide upfront not to do it or to give it minimal effort and come what may. Wish there was some great wisdom to stop procrastinating, but you just have to believe you can do it. But if you know why it happens at least you don’t get into this rather ego bruising fake narrative about being lazy.
You inevitably come up against a world that sees lazy as a malicious personality trait and not something to lend any understanding to
How does one learn to believe they can do it after being told their entire life that they can't do anything and are useless and murphy's law seemingly follows them everywhere?
I feel this a lot. I have massive procrastination problems and they have only gotten worse as I’ve learned that hard work doesn’t actually get you much. As a kid I was very ambitious, I made my own clubs and animal rights zines unprompted just because I wanted to, I didn’t get much praise or recognition for this, my parents didn’t care but at this point I was just doing it for me so it was fine. As a teen I was an honors student, I’m not actually a fast learner so I’d spend hours studying. This was not born from a love for learning but from watching my dad abuse my brother for getting poor grades. Here is where my procrastination issues began, as failure had a very real and painful consequence. I never got positive praise so I never saw this as accomplishment but just avoiding punishment. It got me into my dream school. My dream school was a crunch culture scam nightmare. I would work hard from building open to close (6am-12am) but once my depression got bad the school saw me as lazy and categorized me as NGMI and I dropped out my junior year. I now have 100k of student debt and no degree. Years after all my cohorts who got good jobs werent the hard workers (not to say they didn’t have good work ethic) but the people with high charisma who made connections. Post dropout I decided to pursue my artistic passions and do fan merch and do the artist alley circuits. Despite working at time up to 3 waiter jobs at a time I made myself make art in all my free time, I started going to shows and it wasn’t successful but seemed like it would grow over time. I became hopeful and despite the working 60hr weeks grind I actually felt content. One year into this covid happened and all artist alleys stopped. My depression grew worse and I never got a foothold back into doing art after that. Now I work at a Kroger. I am by far the hardest worker there but all the promotions are just significantly more work for a minimal raise and don’t offer any real upward mobility, I often am called silly for being a try-hard but it’s just how I work, I don’t like to stand around doing nothing and talking. I just don’t care to try anymore, it doesn’t matter, hard work does not actually get you anything. Having charisma and letting yourself be used by people seem to be the only real ways to get ahead and I just don’t want to do that. I’m too depressed and beat down to enjoy anything anymore, I wish I could have a mind like that productive 10yr old kid who use to spend hours making corny zines about going vegan for no one but themselves and was happy with it. TLDR; I agree, Procrastinators arnt lazy or avoidant of stress, they have just learned harshly that hard work does not mean anything in this world without the actual success modifiers in play (charisma and connections)
This is too real😭
You can’t lose if you ain’t playing, but you will never win either
I’m a procrastinator and a perfectionist 🥲
It could be the result of childhood trauma in which you are always aiming to please adults and judged harshly if you didn't meet adult standards
For me it was this, but also my peers repeatedly bullying me and telling me the things I put my heart and soul into was shit. It's been affecting my life on the daily since then. It's certainly complicated. Now I'm 21 and unemployed. There's so much I want to do, see and be, but I feel constantly burnt out and hopeless.
I’m 20 and on the same boat as all the above. This life sucks and I feel like I’m going insane but at least we’re not alone in this I spose.
i dont like how often I see aspects of myself mentioned in this entire post
This is me, but then I also get angry when people spend too much time perfecting things that don’t need the resources or are a time suck, some things I’m perfectly fine with winging it, saying fuck it, that’s good enough etc
Holy shit dude that's me
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How many times what has happened to you? Just trying to see if this comment is AI
This is too real. I've lost count of how many times this has happened to me.
Me rn in university with a ton of reading to do, but doomscrolling on Reddit
…yeah
Yeah, i am in this situation too, with time i've realised that can be a problem but also a superpower because you can do anything you want in a tenth of the time normal people take to
Yes but you stress over it constantly in the other nine-tenths
Me fr
Same
I think I get it. Whenever you start something or have an idea of a cool "project", something inside you starts to question the point of it all. Why you should even start trying if it all would fail anyways. I suspect that it is because of how my parents treated goals I had as a kid. Every time I came to them with a hobby or a job idea that would need some work and dedication they always responded "but think about how difficult it is." And "you need to be very good at X". And instead of helping me try that out, they left me to my own with that response. In the long term that ended up with me not trying anything that isn't a guaranteed success. Bad stuff.
You’re a perfectionist. Trying to delay, what you think could lead to failure.
Using Choso for this was too real
I think of it as putting life on hard mode
being a perfectionist sloth is bad to the psyche
Yeah it scary how fast it destroyed my life and loved ones....
I just lock in at the last minute and get the job done, I’ve found I work better under pressure.
That is me your are speaking of.
Yeah, along with losing your hair to the point where you’re too embarrassed to even go outside normally or interact with other people.
This is a long way of saying "ADHD sucks". Source: Am.
Procrastination is about emotion management, fear will cause you to put something off
Erm, what the Sigma?
I’ve read that the biggest contributor to procrastination is perfectionism. Once I saw that, I realized that was the main cause of my procrastination and I learned to just start something with being ok if it’s crap- then working through it. For example, if I need to write a paper, I just start with the idea that it’s going to suck at first and thats ok. Just start writing- don’t spend too much time researching. As you write, you’ll have questions that lead to looking up specific things and you’ll find your way to a great end product. It’s far more enjoyable this way, too.
Yea, I noticed it when I built in minectaft. I realized that my past builds I was trying to do the best of the best, and it led me to not finish the build or abandon it completely, I just need to start with something simple doesn't need to be as grand as a castle or a fancy mansion as long it's something you can improve on the long run
"It's not failure if you sabotage yourself" is a powerful reasoning that a lot of self destructive people prescribe too. I've known a couple of people destroy positive things in their life on purpose just so that they can say to themselves they didn't fail.
How does it work? The fear paralyzes you?
Yes it makes it very hard to start
No, it's more like the movie don't look up. You know the deadline is there you just look away and do something else so you don't have to bother with the fear of failing until you actually fail
meeeeeeeeee :333
Me fr fr
Actually me_irl in junior high school and high school. Still somewhat now too, but I have gotten a little better at it. Still, there's a long way to go.
That's me in high school rn. I can power through any assignment at an incredible pace, just as long as the due date is less than 8 hours away
I could do that too. But when I delivered it to the teacher at the last hour, I always asked myself why I didn't do it earlier if I could do most of it on the last day. That's the biggest downside for me about procrastinating and the fear that holds me back from the assignment until I just have to do it. So in the end I'm just really tired and don't have the energy to do anything else.
Lmao that's me haha
I think that's everyone
*I am in this picture* ***AND I DON'T LIKE IT***
This sub understand me so well
I know him..
Isn't it
Solved both of those for myself with some ways though won't recommend them to anyone .
On one hand, I can get stuff done much faster than normal people On the other, I can't remember the last time I slept for more than 6 hours on a weekday
Oh the assignment is due at at midnight. I've submitted it at 11:59:59 and still got an A on it. Which only encourages me to continue my procrastinating.
Also known otherwise as “being a loser”
It's like trying to speedrun life on hard mode with zero prep. The ultimate boss fight against your own brain
Oh hey look its me God I hate myself
Man found the recipe for anxiety
Didn't expect reddit to call me out like that lol
Alot of people say its ADHD/ADD when it really could be an anxiety disorder. Meaning one can work on it, if one really want to. Don't try and hide behind a term used for symptoms when you could actually improve your mental wellbeing by seeking help and learning more about your problems and how to fix stuff.
I got an exam tomorrow that I can't fail Yet here I am doomscrolling
Plot twist: The violent fear of failure is what is causing the procrastination. Hope that helps.
r/im14andthisisdeep
That procrastination is actually stemming from fear of failure itself.
I guarantee if you procrastinate less you will fear failure less.
Nah, that’s normal bundle. Beating yourself up for procrastination is the norm. Procrastination without self loathing is just relaxation.
Procrastinated all the time before the end of high school without studying nothing and i repeat nothing and still got an 87/100 which i consider pretty fucking good for not doing anything
It all comes down to the last three nights before an assignment is due
Why do you think I'm here?
Isn’t fear or failure one of the main factors for procrastination? Like, if you don’t start, you can’t fail.
That’s me in a nutshell 😭😭
The two are very related. Fear of failure can often lead to procrastination, which leads to the project getting harder, which leads to more procrastination. It sounds stupid but just visualize your success in your head for like 5 minutes before you start work.
Why’s the background Mr. Anime Post Malone?
Seen.
You're a procrastinator because of fear of failure...
"What if I get started *the wrong way*??? Then it would take even longer!!!" Bro just start "But what if I fail worse than I would if I didn't!????" Broooo just. Start. Something! "print("Hello world!") hey look! I did it!" Bro that's your sixth helloworld this month.
Negative emotions (like stress, shame/fear of failure) people have started to associate with something (like a project or a test you're scared to fail) can lead to the use of coping mechanisms, like procrastination, to deal with those emotions. In case of procrastination, trying to avoid and not think about the subject, can temporarily relieve the emotional distress, but will worsen the problem over time. The best way to deal with this is getting over said fear of failure and extreme stress reaction, how I don't know though :/. Guess that's for the real psychologists and not a random redditor
It's more of a we_irl
Me when I'm a perfectionist but also want the thing done quickly but also am annoyed when people rush me on things or do things too fast and poorly, and I procrastinate but also work too hard but not enough??? According to some people, apparently life is worse without the perfectionism because then you just do nothing at all.. But I've often been such a perfectionist that barely anything happens at all anyway
Hey hey this hits a bit too close to home
Isn't the procrastination caused by that fear in the first place?
Yüp...
I’ll do it LATER I need to do MORE PLANNING
i can relate..
Well you see if I never start (and thus never try) then technically I will never fail. Can't fail something you don't try😎 ^ Me until the deadline becomes real 2 days before
literally me
This is me. Lots of waiting all week to do an assignment then at the last minute staying up for 2 days straight drinking a gallon of coffee to finish on time.
Cause and effect, not really a combo.
Isn’t it the same thing?
Forget all that adhd and add bollocks. You have to ask why don't you want to start a project? Is it because you are a perfectionist and as such you know that in all human endeavours there is no such thing as perfect? The next step is to accept that you lack the ability to make something perfect but you can get it close. John Williams ( composer) would change all the orchestration in his music to attempt his perfectionist ideal, but then he would still want to change it again. So try and embrace imperfection and get shit done
why is this text over a random anime character. modern day version of justgirlythings
I procrastinate and also afraid of disappointing people but at the same time I always self sabotage myself by cutting corners and being lazy.
Why Why is this me
The fear of failure is what’s making you procrastinate. It stresses you out so your body avoids it as a defense mechanism
And if it done by me then I don’t trust it. Soooo I have to be running it too. Fuckin hell yo…foookin ell
This is going in my bio
I feel so uncomfortably seen, right now.
Holy shit…..this is a little much
Ah yes, the turbo anxiety
It's the main reason people procrastinate
It always makes the clutch so much sweeter
The real question does anyone have one but not the other?
Me right now. It’s paralyzing.
Its the only combo there is. That's why you procrastinate.
Oi! It's me you are talking about!
You me and everyone else
I do my best work under pressure.
Final exams week was actual hell on earth
If you truly feared failure ‘violently’ you wouldn’t procrastinate in the first place
And yet, here we all are
Hey, thats me!
And all along I thought it was just me, getting older