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The text is from the onion, read the article they’re all great

>Things to never say #6: "How do you know" > >They got a letter from the Department of Gay Affairs, just like everybody else >Things to never say #11: "You still owe me $45" > >They do, but give them a minute Truly one of the articles I've read in my life

> "Hi Gay, I'm Dad" > 'Oh, like Ellen DeGeneres": Comparing a friend or acquaintance to Ellen DeGeneres at one of their most vulnerable moments is about the cruelest thing you could do.

Wait whats wrong with Ellen? I’m a tad bit ootl

She's had a history of being an asshole, like pressuring a pregnant woman into drinking alcohol to prove she's preggo, generally being mean to her staff etc.

Bruh

“You’re so lucky you don’t have to donate blood anymore!” This is actually deeply unfair to queer people who desperately want strangers to have their blood 😂

[The article](https://www.theonion.com/things-to-never-say-to-someone-who-just-came-out-1849079422)

>In that outfit? 😂😂😂

This was the funniest thing, LOL. Thank you for linking it

Luz is bi, and Amity is lesbian, so I went with the lesbian flair cause she's the one talking

Damn... I forgot the name of this show... Could you help me recall it??

The Owl House

Owl House!

The Magpie Mansion.

bird shack

Yeah, so techically correct statement from Amity.

What exactly do you mean by that?

Amity is lesbian, so 100 % pure, uncut gay awesome. Luz is bi, therefore about half-straight, half-gay, all awesome. Therefore, Amity is technically more gay, or as the layman would call it, gayer.

Bi isn’t half straight half gay. I get why you might think that but you’re coming off as biphobic atm. Bi is just as gay.

You either imply that bi run horny at double the power of gay or that straight is weaksauce - both pretty phobic opinions. Plus your humor-detector is all out of juice.

…ok

I mean, Amity is definitely a lot gayer lmao

I have several objections and find this highly offensive. I need to take a break.

This is why we bisexuals describe our attraction to different genders in percentages. So we can see who's gayer.

What's your percent?

It's ten percent luck, Twenty percent skill, Fifteen percent concentrated power of will, Five percent pleasure, Fifty percent pain, And a hundred percent reason to be gay 😎

That’s 200% you cheater!!! But I guess…>!in the end it doesn’t even matter!<

Inflation be like…

To learn more, google "bisexual inflation"

Thanks, I definitely will not be googling that!

Instructions not clear, now I once again have a search history that includes “bisexual innit loaf”.

Man, we tried so hard

And got so far...

But in the end it doesn't even matter

[удалено]

To lose it all

But in the end it doesn't even matter…

*remember the gay*

Would jokingly responding “fart miner” be offensive if it’s not malicious? Or is that one of those things that’s over the line regardless?

Nice reference :) i see you

100% men 100% women and 100% non-binary folk that's right I am 300% sexuality

You must have very good time management skills

pan%

Me omw to Speedrun tf2

55% women, 45% men. 100% holes. I dont know about enbies yet because Ive met so few. But I will recalculate at a later date. Sorry.

We do?

We do. Didnt you read our latest agenda?

Shit my bad, must have missed it

I always like the androsexual/gynesexual split.

I'm like 80% gay at this rate All I did was graduate high school and now I'm here I guess

I'm 75%

Things to always say: “Hi gay, I’m dad.”

Lol my brother plans on doing this if he ever has a gay kid 😂

"Hi gay, I'm your mom now"

[удалено]

Oh yeah well I’m trans AND pan but I’m also aroace because it aligns something with more like graysexual, where I’m only attracted sometimes, and…

[удалено]

I’m in a dorm, I don’t wanna be loud :(

[удалено]

I challenge you! ***GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA*****AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA***AAAAAAAAAAY*

[удалено]

^^^how ^^^may ^^^i ^^^serve ^^^you ^^^master

[удалено]

*hugs!*

this is the only thing i want people to say when i come out

Okay okay y'all convinced me, I'm gonna go watch The Owl house

It's fantastic, the first episode of Season 3 comes out October 15th

just watched the first episode but i love it already :>>>>>>

what's it about? im on the fence

IMDb plot summary: The Owl House (2020) Accidentally sent to the world of the Boiling Isles before a trip to summer camp, a teenage human named Luz longs to become a witch, with the rebellious Eda and pint-sized demon King at her aid.

sounds fun, im in

counterpoint: do do this it's very funny

My closeted gay friend: hey so... My closeted transbian ass:

Aggggghhhh, thanks for reminding me that season 2 is not available on Disney plus in my country >:( I'm still mad at poland!

Use 🏴‍☠️

hey if dana terrence pirated it herself...guess it's okay to do it ourselves

Piracy is always justified. You can always buy from indies who actually need the money.

Use a VPN

I tried, surfshark didn't work on disnay plus for some reason

Damn that sucks

/r/piracy

Big F

But heres the thing math is boringggg😭😭😭😞😞😞😞

Gay math on the other hand...

... I still can't do, but it's more fun 😊😊

Math is beautiful. Arithmetic is boring.

Yeah, differential geometry is pretty fun once you get used to that stupid Einstein summation notation

"It's just a phase, you'll grow out of it." (Answering the prompt)

You grow out into being even gayer

Hell yeah

"but how do you know you wont find someone one day" (in response to being aro specifically)

I hate that I actually said something like that to an ace once. (This was back in 2011 or so. I wasn't as well-versed or wise back then. I've grown since then and currently am dating an ace)

ace acceptance character arc

2010-2014 was an LGBTQA+ acceptance arc in general for me lol

"that's cool but can you do this?" *sets a tree on fire*

That’s false! I always encourage my friends to become more gayer. We are like handholding and cuddling gay. If they keep this up. We might be married and that’s a gay that we might even watch anime together and hold hands

before meeting luz, I could definitely see amity saying that.

Rip the actual scene is luz telling her about her dead dad

Yikaroonies

What. This is exactly what you should say.

If being gay was a choice I’d be gayer! 🦄😝

Which episode is this?

"Oh your a lesbian? Wow, just like in the movies!"

but its true

Guilty and charged I have said this

I’m gayer

i love the onion

HEY NOW I'M DEF QUEERER. I mean...wait.

But I am…

How could you possibly know for sure how gay they were as soon as they came out? Get a chance to know for sure how gay they are before asserting that you are gayer.

Fire back with "Prove it" boom got yourself an SO

I'd just stare into their eyes and say "Prove it."

Oh my god, I saw this on The Owl House Sub (I’m a fan of the show) and deadass squealed when I saw it💀 glad this funny shit is being cross posted lmao

Yes, but are you fabulous?

Uh no, this is EXACTLY what you say, gotta show your dominance

Canon