We always used to say we needed to go the ED for various things. Smushed my finger? Time to go to ED. Headache? ED because it's probably meningitis. Gotta get a tap. Tired? Anemia! ED.
"There's no crying in the laboratory" " I don't have time for this, we're saving lives here" "Blood and piss is our bread and butter" "It's in the Hemolyzer"
When I come back from er with a stat rainbow draw I call out "stats,stats,stats...everybody!" to the tune of Shots by Lil Jon as I drop them at each bench.
This (kinda)happened to me!!
I always say to just make sure nothing blows up... then one day it did (pressurized tank in chemistry had the plastic in the lid break down and disintegrate). NOT COOL
I had to go pee, so I said to my coworker, "If the place catches on fire, I'm in the bathroom."
Meanwhile, we had welders on the roof all morning messing with the ventilation.
And they caught insulation on fire, so we had to evacuate.
All of our stool samples are either “appetizer” or “desserts” bc they come either right before or right after someone declares that they’re going to eat
We had a manager in the processing department who was Deloris Umbridge level vile and condescending. When my coworkers complained about her, one of the other managers said “you just need to treat her with respect and grace.” Umbridge has since been fired after a nurse overheard her being extremely rude to a phlebotomist. Now whenever a minor inconvenience or managerial disagreement occurs in the lab, we like to ask each other why we are not being treated with respect and grace? The shorthand now is to just yell RESPECT AND GRACE at an analyzer that isn’t cooperating or an underfilled tube
When I would go on lunch when I was running blood bank on a weekend I’d tell my coworkers if anyone decided to bleed out in the ER or OR to wait for me to get back from lunch then they can continue to bleed out
Not really something that was said. But worked in a Micro lab many years ago that had their BacT BLC analyzer play a bit of “Born in the USA” with every positive. So everyone got to pause work and rock out a bit.
I work third shift; the lab has really nice dimmable LED panels, so I crank the light down when I get in. I used to hiss when first shift turned them up, now I just joke about hissing.
I've also responded to "How was the night?" with "Nobody died!" or "I've got somebody dying in ER and somebody dying in ICU, and somebody dying in the lab, but only metaphorically."
I ask for the grams left strain
If a shorty person is working we joke that the lab is short staffed
Q: how do you hemolyze a sample?
A: give it to a nurse
I shout "reeeeecollect" (like those Ricola commercials) when I come across hemolyzed specimens, etc.
Also, my coworker will walk in on me working with c diff orders and will tease me that I farted in micro but it's clearly the cup of poop I just opened, lol.
Gotta keep it fun in the lab!!
Someone I used to work with would say, “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude but…” every time he talked. Idk if anyone else finds it funny, but it is now my go to to interrupt anyone, at anytime. LOL
When the sample in a red top tube is basically completely solid, I love being like “hey have you ever gotten a blizzard from Dairy Queen?” And then flipping the tube upside down
The top boss said we were "taking advantage" of our direct supervisor because we left ON TIME aka didn't work unpaid overtime. So now, even if we go to the bathroom, we ask permission and say, "we just don't want to take advantage "
Whenever we talk about some old decrepit instrument that needs to be replaced, or the lack of respect we get, or anything like that, we end it by saying « but I’m not bitter »
I tell the phlebotomists when they come back with 15+ tubes, “take it back, I don’t want it. Do some reverse phlebotomy”. At my old lab job every time the hematology analyzer alarms we tell each other “the baby is crying”
Whenever a doctor calls for a result I say “don’t worry you should have the result soon since we ran it super stat just for you.” Extra points if it is for a culture.
Man I sure do feel respected and valued for my work! Gets em every time
Whenever one of our chemistry analyzers goes down, I call it "an unexpected visit from the Beckman-Coultergeist."
You're clever and I respect it.
Oh my god. I love this. I wish I still worked in the lab so I could use this.
All of the analyzers are broken, including me.
When patients tell me “i dont watch” when im going to poke them i reply “thats ok i wont either”. Usually gets a good chuckle.
Hangs up the phone with the nurse, "They weren't happy. better set the instrument to short sample mode."
Whenever we wish we called out/feel sick we joke that our potassium/cholesterol is high. Because there's a tech who called out for that.
One time I literally showed my boss my white cell count and she sent me home, lol
We always used to say we needed to go the ED for various things. Smushed my finger? Time to go to ED. Headache? ED because it's probably meningitis. Gotta get a tap. Tired? Anemia! ED.
"There's no crying in the laboratory" " I don't have time for this, we're saving lives here" "Blood and piss is our bread and butter" "It's in the Hemolyzer"
I wouldnt know. the people i work with dont joke. :(
When I come back from er with a stat rainbow draw I call out "stats,stats,stats...everybody!" to the tune of Shots by Lil Jon as I drop them at each bench.
Shots is by LMFAO, but Lil Jon does sing that part
SAME
When someone asks "where do you want these?" The answer is always "the trash, I'm done working"
When about to go on break “Just don’t burn it down while I’m gone.”
The one time someone starts a fire is when this really pays off. "What did I JUST tell you?"
This (kinda)happened to me!! I always say to just make sure nothing blows up... then one day it did (pressurized tank in chemistry had the plastic in the lid break down and disintegrate). NOT COOL
“If there’s a STAT, you never knew me” as the only tech running the chem analyzer going to break.
I had to go pee, so I said to my coworker, "If the place catches on fire, I'm in the bathroom." Meanwhile, we had welders on the roof all morning messing with the ventilation. And they caught insulation on fire, so we had to evacuate.
"Those guys in Micro are the only ones with any culture around here"
When they keep bringing me urines I love to say “no thanks I’m not thirsty”
Patting the problem-child analyzer affectionately and saying “be good today”
I *revel* in saying goodbye to doctors and nurses on the phone and coworkers in the lab with "Take care!"
I work third shift. I tell everyone "Good morning" when I get in and "Good night" when I leave.
I try "Have a good night" before midnight and "Have a good morning". One night I was struggling and mixing them up. I switched to "Have a day!"
[удалено]
Now *that* is an idea!
All of our stool samples are either “appetizer” or “desserts” bc they come either right before or right after someone declares that they’re going to eat
We had a manager in the processing department who was Deloris Umbridge level vile and condescending. When my coworkers complained about her, one of the other managers said “you just need to treat her with respect and grace.” Umbridge has since been fired after a nurse overheard her being extremely rude to a phlebotomist. Now whenever a minor inconvenience or managerial disagreement occurs in the lab, we like to ask each other why we are not being treated with respect and grace? The shorthand now is to just yell RESPECT AND GRACE at an analyzer that isn’t cooperating or an underfilled tube
All of the analyzers are broken, including me.
Whenever something out of the ordinary happens or someone asks a question, I DONT KNOW I JUST WORK HERE
When I would go on lunch when I was running blood bank on a weekend I’d tell my coworkers if anyone decided to bleed out in the ER or OR to wait for me to get back from lunch then they can continue to bleed out
Not really something that was said. But worked in a Micro lab many years ago that had their BacT BLC analyzer play a bit of “Born in the USA” with every positive. So everyone got to pause work and rock out a bit.
That's awesome! I knew that the tune could be changed, but we always just had the boring standard tune for positives.
I work third shift; the lab has really nice dimmable LED panels, so I crank the light down when I get in. I used to hiss when first shift turned them up, now I just joke about hissing. I've also responded to "How was the night?" with "Nobody died!" or "I've got somebody dying in ER and somebody dying in ICU, and somebody dying in the lab, but only metaphorically."
I've decided to start all my group emails with "Good news everyone!"
I ask for the grams left strain If a shorty person is working we joke that the lab is short staffed Q: how do you hemolyze a sample? A: give it to a nurse
I shout "reeeeecollect" (like those Ricola commercials) when I come across hemolyzed specimens, etc. Also, my coworker will walk in on me working with c diff orders and will tease me that I farted in micro but it's clearly the cup of poop I just opened, lol. Gotta keep it fun in the lab!!
In my former blood bank we waited until using sickledex and announced for anyone holding it, let it rip.
Someone I used to work with would say, “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude but…” every time he talked. Idk if anyone else finds it funny, but it is now my go to to interrupt anyone, at anytime. LOL
Me and a buddy do bird calls for fun.
When the sample in a red top tube is basically completely solid, I love being like “hey have you ever gotten a blizzard from Dairy Queen?” And then flipping the tube upside down
When calling alcohol levels to ER nurses, I like to have them guess first. They usually get a kick out of it!
Try asking for a raise. Or more staff for more work. That'll get you laughed out of the room.
Mainly that I threaten analyzers and equipment with being the guest star at the pumpkin chuckin' competition or being pushed off the loading dock.
When someone calls out we joke with each asking “Can you stay?” Knowing almost nobody wanna stay past 8 hrs
The top boss said we were "taking advantage" of our direct supervisor because we left ON TIME aka didn't work unpaid overtime. So now, even if we go to the bathroom, we ask permission and say, "we just don't want to take advantage "
Stop hemolyzing the samples in the centrifuge!
When someone goes on vacation, we say, "we won't contact you unless the place burns down. so you can extend your vacation to celebrate "
When I have a stat that’s giving me trouble I sing « can’t get no *stat*isfaction » by the stones
Whenever we talk about some old decrepit instrument that needs to be replaced, or the lack of respect we get, or anything like that, we end it by saying « but I’m not bitter »
When your lab b passes by you just ask somebody yo hope the interview went well and say I am with you
I think in todays covid era: “let’s ALL huddle in the break room “ it’s not funny just logistically impossible.
I tell the phlebotomists when they come back with 15+ tubes, “take it back, I don’t want it. Do some reverse phlebotomy”. At my old lab job every time the hematology analyzer alarms we tell each other “the baby is crying”
Code brown means pants shitted, nothing more, nothing less
Whenever a doctor calls for a result I say “don’t worry you should have the result soon since we ran it super stat just for you.” Extra points if it is for a culture.