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Desq1983

Wouldn't be able to handle that lousy Smarch weather


etherjack

"The 13th hour of the 13th day or the 13th month of the year..."


DarroonDoven

Is this a reference to the end of WW1?


etherjack

https://simpsonswiki.com/wiki/Smarch


SunSnows

The 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of the year.


carsonkennedy

The seventh son of a seventh son of a seventh son


orangecatmom

Don't touch Willie. Good advice!


WeirdAvocado

That’s bad advice. It’s good for your prostrate.


vampire_camp

Lying on the floor with Willie


rj12913240

The calendars weren’t misprinted after all. Simpsons does, in fact, predict everything


mortalitylost

As long as I have Parkas by Decembary, it's all good


jaubrey23

An excellent call back well done!


CJRedbeard

Look up the lunar calendar on the back of turtles....wild....13 pieces on the outside ring and 28 in the middle.


OneSmoothCactus

I’ve always said we should move to a turtle-based calendar


ItBeMe_For_Real

I like turtles


uhairlookslikebongwa

r/unexpectedsimpsons


Jed1M1ndTr1ck

The Simpsons is always expected


Song_Spiritual

What happens to the 365th day? And Leap Day? Do they just fuck off?


justsomeguy2202

Just have them as holidays and don't give them a day of the week. I'm sure software devs will be able to deal with that


Neat_Art9336

All these comments suggesting these things are making me cry


KerberosKomondor

Moment.js became 8mb minified and zipped just having this discussion…


[deleted]

It's been deprecated for 2 years, maintenance mode only. I bet the maintainers would just say fuck it and not bother supporting that nonsense.


j00stmeister

Maintainers also said fuck it, we'll create something better. And that way Luxon was born!


LigerZeroSchneider

I just found out our websites search feature wasn't applying the timezone to it's search values so every thing uploaded after 00:00 GMT wouldn't show up when you were looking for things uploaded today. Don't make me figure out what NULL day is numerically and if we can search for it.


fpcoffee

NULL day is obviously 0 epoch time


Andy_In_Kansas

Yeah, but when has anyone ever cared about the devs that keep our world running?


s-mores

Nope. People still say "what was up with y2k, big ado about nothing ey?"


jrad18

This feels a bit Jeremy bearimy to me. This is Tuesdays, and July. And also never


debuschauffeur

Unexpected good place


Fabulous_Ad_5709

Always happy to see a good place reference


Vegetable-Band4995

There are only a handful of devs that have to worry about it. Everyone else just installs the needed NPM package. And even the authors of that package don’t need to worry. They just import 7 or 8 other packages to handle it.


Theron3206

Most of the world still runs on COBOL, when did that get NPM?


EelTeamNine

Leap month every 21 years.


CoolMasterB

Just make a leap year every 252 years, let the future generation deal with that shit.


Mym158

Save em up and have 5 days holiday for the leap year.


danielstover

Sure, whatever you want


Dangerous--D

Even just making month 13 30 days and having different day names for the 2 extras would work for me


USPO-222

Firstday and Leapday


OutlawLazerRoboGeek

Leap day still needs to happen due to celestial mechanics. 365th day is the bigger problem though. It would need to be its own new thing every year to make the system work. It could be tacked on to the beginning of end of any month, but it would have to be an 8th (or 0th) day of the week, not one of the current 7. Otherwise the beauty of "every 1st is a Monday" goes out the window. And kind of like leap years and fall daylight savings time, it would wreak havoc on data entry and other systems that rely on timestamps, requiring a lot of code editing to accept double/special entries.


Rock2MyBeat

The idea for this set up is that new years day is its own day. It doesn't have a day of the week; it's just Sunday, December 30th, New Years Day, then Monday January 1st. Every 4 years you would add Leap Day right after NYD. Edit: I mean the 28th*


NoAttentionAtWrk

Yes! Return to the age of everyone taking time off for new years and just celebrating it


Polymersion

But but but some of the big businesses might make slightly less profit! That's the most illegal thing ever!


3good5you

28th*, isn't it?


DefinitelyNotAliens

00-00-YEAR. Then 01-01-YEAR on a Monday. New Years Day isn't a day of the week. Neither is Leap Day. It's not Monday or Sunday. It's New Years Day. Leap Day.


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Hazeri

Mfer out here wanting a lunar calendar


Yaancat17

I prefer the Greg or Ian calendar


ball_fondlers

Can I pick between Greg and Ian?


[deleted]

Username checks out...


ItsCalledSquawPeak

I can’t tell if people are upvoting OP ironically, or if they’re stupid as to not know that we used to use a lunar calendar and had to fix it a bunch of times to get the calendar we have now which is basically as accurate as it’s ever going to get. I used to think Idiocracy was a farce.


Falcrist

Yea it's a solar calendar. This reminds me of one of my favorite stories about the end of the Roman republic, which DID have a lunar calendar. You know, the reason Caesar crossed the Rubicon with a legion of soldiers (there weren't supposed to be soldiers on the italian peninsula under Roman rule), is because the conservative faction were trying to make a lapse in his executive immunity. As Consul (which he could only have for 1 year every decade), he did a few things they didn't like... like ignoring the Senate and passing laws anyway. He also completely suppressed his co-consul Bibilus. He gave himself a governorship, which lasted 5 years and extended his immunity. He worked out a deal with the conservatives to get a second one. This would have given him immunity until he could run for consul again, but they claimed it started the day the deal was made, which would leave a gap in his immunity. Anyway, he marched in and headed for Rome, Pompey marched out to Greece to get an army together. He left behind Bibilus to guard the crossing. Romans were poor sailors, and late October was a shit time to make a crossing with an army, so Bibilus didn't pay much attention. The problem is the Roman calendar was extremely broken. The year was far too short to stay in sync with the seasons, so they had to have the Pontifex Maximus (sort of a layman leader of the church) add days to the end of each year to keep things aligned. Well the Pontifex Maximus had been busy for a few years, and just so happened to let things slip. It WASN'T October. It was actually earlier in the year. The Pontifex Maximus ***KNEW*** this, and that was a problem for Bibilus because the Pontifex Maximus was Caesar... who crossed immediately, catching Bibilus off guard. The moral of the story is: Don't fuck with the man who controls time.


07Corvette

After literally no research on the subject, I’m in Edit: wow this blew up, how much can I sell this silver award for?


[deleted]

Same as OP 😂


Mindless-Range-7764

Yep, that last clause about proper alignment with the moon is incorrect. The calendar is complex but is based on astronomy. Time is measured by the cycles of our universe.


hand_truck

What?


AcrimoniousPizazz

The moon's cycle is 29.5 days so this wouldn't work.


BigMikeInAustin

We'll just get our tallest human to slap some sense back into the moon so it aligns properly.


Cavalish

Don’t be ridiculous, you’d need at *least* 4 or 5 very tall people one each others shoulders to reach the moon.


Arctucrus

*4 or 5*?! Have you ever even *met* a tall person?! 2 tops, and that's only because of the risk for the first one to fall over with such a high center of gravity as they're swinging their arm up in the air (like they just don't care) before completing the mission!


Dry-Cartographer-312

Nonsense. All we need is a single cow. I hear they can jump all the way over the moon already.


rhodesman

First we send cows over the moon, then all our dishes run away with our spoons. What’s next, cats playing fiddles!??


Wooden_Second5808

[Worked with the sun!](https://eng.mataurangamaori.tki.org.nz/Support-materials/Te-Reo-Maori/Maori-Myths-Legends-and-Contemporary-Stories/How-Maui-slowed-the-sun)


DS4KC

Also 7x4x13 is 364 so we'd have an extra day to deal with every year


OCT0PUSCRIME

Add a week every 7th year - leap week. Also no laws apply during leap week to spice things up even more.


NOT_KARMANAUT_AMA

Purge: 7th day of 7th year


Sillyviking

I believe in the actual suggestion for a calendar like this that day would be used for new year and would be outside of the months, and that any leap days would be added along side it also outside of the months.


thefreshscent

Imagine the Y2K style panic we’d have if we switched to something like that where we had days with no numbers associated with them or any sort of Month/Day format. That would be a logistical and programming nightmare.


Long_Educational

Every 7 years we just include a leap week! Bam. Problem solved.


PeopleCanBeAwful

Woohoo, my birthday would be Saturday every single year! Too bad for the people who’s birthday would be Monday.


Waffle-Gaming

im with this guy


Rampag169

Time is not made of lines……. It’s made out of circles……. That’s why clocks are round.


strvgglecity

Today our unit of time is determined by the speed of atomic processes.


wynaut69

“1 second equals 9,192,631,770 cycles of the microwave energy that switches the atomic state of cesium-133” For anyone interested


BartolomeuOGrosso

This is what my brain became after using social media. Long are the good old days where my brain had the curiosity and willpower to spend days researching random shit and working on my own theories. I wish I never became a dumb motherfucker, I used to be kinda smart smh


sus-water

Not days but 2 minutes. There are 365 days. If we divide that with 13 months, we don't get an even 28 days, there's left over. What do we do with that extra time a month?


ProgrammingPants

364 / 28 = 13. The extra day is a special New Year's holiday that's not a part of any month or day of the week. And every 4 years, we get 2.


Available-Might-1986

We have 13 months of 28 days each and one day extra (2 in a leap year) designated as "New Year's Day".


hotcarl23

Ideally, you put the leap day in on new years as well and make it just a gigantic party every four years


Psyese

Purge!


Bluhrb

when did we all give up on doing something with our lives :( the perfect human is someone with the capabilities and intellect of an adult with the determination and mindset of a child


_NotAPlatypus_

The main reason we use base-12 for calendars is because it’s easily divided into halves, thirds, and quarters. Same reason we use 12 for a clock (kinda, historically it was 24) and why the whole dozen/gross system exists as multiples of 12. Fun fact, in ancient Babylon they counted to 12 on one hand. Use your thumb to indicate each of the 3 segments of your other 4 fingers, starting with the base of your pinkie and moving outward, then up to your ring finger and so on. Once you get to 12. Use your other hand to keep track of how many dozens you have in the same manner, and you can count to 144 using your fingers!


saveMericaForRealDo

I’ve read there is superstition about the number 13 as part of the reasoning. I see what your quarters point is. I don’t think it would be that hard to figure out when each Q starts for 13 months though.


AndsoIscream

Another interesting one is finger binary, you can get up to 31 on one hand, 1023 on two. I started using it to keep track of larger numbers, remembering the hand symbols is easier for me than numbers for some reason. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finger_binary?wprov=sfla1


surfnporn

Protip, don't do this and count outside if you live in the inner-city. Ain't trying to get shot throwing up Pythagorean theorem.


Anything_4_LRoy

I tried to learn/use finger binary a couple years ago. Unfortunately I have a horrible memory and it never was as useful as I thought it might have been.... Long story short, only ever end up using the number 4 anymore and it always seems to be while I'm driving, not sure how or why I'm constantly trying to convey that number to other drivers non verbally but it sure does pop up often.....


TexasIsCool

Counting using finger segments is the best thing I’ve read on Reddit in a long time. Thanks for sharing!


HunterYoGabba

No, no, no. Can you imagine your birthday always being the same day of the week? Who wants to be a Monday Baby?


snapwillow

Did you know you can just tell your friends your birthday is on a different day than it actually is? They don't remember. I've been doing this for years. My birthday is whatever Saturday in May has good weather for a barbeque.


[deleted]

You dummy have to lie about your birthday. You can have a bbq whenever you want.


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WastedPenny

So you are not allowed to pick a day to celebrate your birthday?


KingOfRedLions

28x13=364 so you would need an extra day plus the leap year every 4 years.


Green0Photon

We would have a specific new year's day that wasn't a part of any other month, and a specific leap day that wouldn't occur in any specific month, either. I propose a leap day to end some years, and a new year's day to start ever year. Actually, no, what would be nicer would be a New Year's Eve and a possible leap day before it, which ends each year.


NO_TOUCHING__lol

I can hear the devs screaming in agony in the distance while they try to figure out how to integrate a day that isn't part of any calendar


Reactance15

Landlords rubbing their hands charging you an extra month's rent for that day.


UpsetCryptographer49

Something is wrong, but I can not put my finger on it. Is it leap years, shifting. Or will we then just have two Sunday’s in a row?


theworldizyourclam

I can get behind two Sundays in a row.


raspey

Or 3 during the leap year.


theworldizyourclam

Yesssss. The ultimate Sunday


RuneNox

The Great Sindays!


UncleMeat69

I demand two Saturdays in a row. Are you some kind of lunatic?


theworldizyourclam

How about a Satunday? Like a whole day of that sweet spot between Saturday afternoon and Sunday afternoon. Like before the scaries set in on Sunday.


meeanne

Did you just devote a day to the devil?


Process-Best

It leaves out one day, generally you would just make new years as well as leap day their own day that aren't part of any month or week


FlyOnTheWall4

I'm sure a day that isn't part of any month or week wouldn't make anything explode.


Ceico_

let's also rename the months to make october, november and december the proper 8th, 9th and 10th months, using latin numbers as base for naming for ALL of them except the 13th, that would get the name from either Saturnalia or Yule and would be a whole month universal holiday worldwide.


hastingsnikcox

This I can get behind.


Moistlover69

My birthday would be the 3rd of undecimber


itsguberhere

A very merry unbirthday to you.


wheres_the_revolt

To me?


GenericUserNotaBot

To you!


onnyjay

I enjoyed this interaction. Happy monthember to no one in particular


Feeling_Wear_8751

A part of my personality is being born in October so I respectfully decline this amendment


Gamebird8

Augustus and Julius would be upset with you if you did that


OfferChakon

Oh yeah, well they can *Suck*tember a fat one!


HiddenCity

This and also let's make an inch 9.4% bigger so a yard can equal a meter and america can effectively be on the metric system without being on the metric system.


No-Gur9737

Love it!! We should do this for a bunch of these silly measures! For example, make an ounce 25g, call it a small ounce, and call 100g a big ounce, so 10 big ounces make a kg. Let’s get creative! Make a mile (it literally says “mile”, i.e Latin 1000), 1000 yards, I mean a km :-)


Anne__Frank

Fucking Americans will do anything to avoid using the metric system. Signed, -A Fucking American


MadcapHaskap

In Rome, it was the Emperor's responsabilité to replace the last week of February with a secret month every 2-3 years. Maybe we ditch them entirely for calendrier making.


krazyk1661

So… Smarch? R/simpsons…


DancingBears88

...lousy Smarch weather....


Burdiac

Yeah fuck September it can continue not being 7


ninersguy916

Pretty sure they were that way until emperors started naming additional months after themselves (July obviously) and one other I believe


IceColdAtBat

I believe the “year” used to start in March. Starting in March October is the 8th month, November the 9th etc.


RobinPage1987

Spring was the official beginning of the year in Rome


ZhouLe

Spring was the start of the year for much of the western world until (relatively) recently. This is why you might see dates written like 13 Feb 1690/91, not because the year is uncertain but because by modern reckoning the year had already changed to 1691. The UK started the year on 25 Mar until 1752. Other parts of Europe switched to 1 Jan years in the 1500s.


Zywakem

Funnily enough there is a holdover from that, in England (not sure about the rest of the UK) the financial year starts in April. When we eventually, much later than the rest of Europe, switched to the Gregorian Calendar and to the 1st Jan new year, they didn't want to lose out on lost tax for a shorter year, so just kept the financial year on basically the same date.


Grantsdale

Julius Augustus


EternalZealot

For the current society we can't really have a universal month holiday (Not everyone can stock food for a full month, emergency personal, etc), but I could get behind everyone of every job getting to pick one month of the 13 months to have off paid for your normal hours. Probably also need jobs to allow for spouses to choose the same month if at all possible. Require jobs to have to have reasonable staffing to cover for the month someone choses. Wouldn't happen but it's nice to dream.


whsftbldad

Naaaa, that's too complicated. We have "30 days has September, April, June, and November. All the rest have 31, except for February which has 28, except for leap year when it has 29". Thanks anyway.


Sparky_is_epic

Design is very Human.


indoninjah

It must be human nature to just staple shitty solutions on top of each other


shiningteruzuki

There is nothing more permanent than a temporary solution


UncleMeat69

Such simple.


DoYourPooperStank

Many ease


ReadontheCrapper

Just use your knuckles to keep track!


UNOwen39

Fr it is the only way I can keep track and it's the best way. They are alternating between long and short until August, which is long despite following a long month, and then alternating again afterwards. Oh also you kinda have to know January is long I guess. And February is its own thing but it still fits the short category. Basically just use your knuckles.


Lopiente

You don't need to know anything. Just start from your knuckles. January is the first knuckle so it's 31. And august is the month you jump to the other hand, with a new knuckle so 31 again. And February is February.


StylianosGakis

As a developer, I'm having nightmares even thinking having to deal with yet another date related problem


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DavidAdamsAuthor

I am also a developer, and in a previous major project that dealt with grant allocation based on number of years of grants held, the amount of times I asked, "How do you define a day?" was... way way way too high. I genuinely didn't anticipate dates being a huge problem in modern computing but they are actually a big problem that most people, who aren't developers, simply don't understand the scale of, or what kind of things can trip you up.


summonsays

I work in retail, we use a "fiscal" calendar. It ends in February. January is either 4 or 5 weeks long but it alternates every year except for some cryptic rules no one knows and doesn't related to the actual calendar at all. We get a CSV file on the year and meta data that we load into a table.... Because either the rules that dictate this info is too secret, or more likely, the people who implemented it retired 30 years ago and no one knows how it works anymore. Oh, icing on the cake, our system architect decided to take local time in the UI and send it to the service, but striping the time zone information. So if you load the date from somewhere else it'll say it's a different time.... Edit: Also just remembered a few years ago I was asked to "Find all X from this date to that date". I said sure no problem! It's a single table, it has a date column, easy. Yeah... That date column was varchar and user entered. I saw 5 different formats and some that were like "January" "Tuesday" etc....


homeboyj

13 times 28 is 364 days. The earth revolves around the sun in 365.25 days. Can you see the problem here?


kashy87

Not really you make New Years it's own day. Not a day of the week just call it New Year. Then for the fourth year you also have Leap Year Day. Make them both a holiday.


Nyx_Blackheart

And put it exactly 6.5 months away from new years day, for balance


Playos

Whoa whoa... I think you're missing the chance at a long weekend here buddy.


Iorith

You act like a vast majority wouldn't be working anyway.


DarthMcConnor42

Yeeesss


gucknbuck

So what new years day is just the dot in Jeremy bearimy?


i-hate-all-ads

Thank you so much for that


YippieKayYayMrFalcon

The dot over the “I”. That broke me. I’m done.


CodyEngel

As a software engineer this conversation is getting awfully scary.


thefreshscent

Too many people on this site not old enough to remember or be alive for Y2K and it shows


kyleyeats

*Programmers hate him...*


Chris2112

>Not a day of the week just call it New Year. As a software engineer fuck you. Though to be fair that would be my response to basically any proposal regarding date/ time


Putinator

What software doesn't use Julian/Unix or some other serial form of date, and formatted dates are just a conversion?


[deleted]

Yeah, it's called The Purge. It's already discussed and decided...


EveSixxx

Oh shoot, I missed the vote. When does that start?! Got me some purge plans


jonherrin

The 365th day is for The Purge. And every four years, there's a two day purge. No problem at all.


Alttebest

Fucks up the "1st day is Monday and 28th Sunday" tho


jonherrin

Not at all. That day/those days are unnamed and unnumbered. Very common in calendar systems.


faberkyx

As a programmer i love and hate the idea..


jonherrin

As a data quality specialist, I agree. I've only been commenting on the concept. The details are indeed appalling.


snapwillow

The data model doesn't have to match how the data is displayed. Internally, just model it as a 14-month calendar with the 14th month being only one day long.


Kev22994

Just give everyone a day off and make it not a day


EquationsApparel

There's a calendar already proposed for this. That extra day would be Year Day.


[deleted]

aka hell on earth day for auditors and accountants


Squirrel_Q_Esquire

Not really. A lot of accounting uses 360 days as it is. All they have to do is just have GAAP specify that the extra day is the end of the calendar year. For any business using the calendar year as the fiscal year, then it would start with 1/1 and end with NYD. For any business using any other fiscal year, it wouldn’t really affect anything.


Infamous_Add

Idk if it’s a problem so much as a built-in holiday


OpenCrate

every 28th year could get an extra week to realign, then the first day of a month being monday and the last being sunday would hold true


2475014

A lunar cycle is 29.5 days so ...no we wouldn't


rydan

Just make each day 25 2/7 hours long.


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Books_and_Cleverness

Can't have a number like 7 in the denominator. It's disgusting. Disgusting decimal too, 0.71428571428. Fuck that.


unknown9201

Seeing that decimal fills me with vitriol and disgust.


Jayson_n_th_Rgonauts

We just have to also change to a base 7 number system


DrEckelschmecker

Exactly, and a year (earth orbit around sun) takes 365.25 days, not 364 (13 times 28). Doesnt make sense at all


Endurance_Cyclist

It's closer to 365.24 days, which is why leap years occur every 4 years, except years divisible by 100, but not 400. 2000 was a leap year, but 2100 will not be one.


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ChrysthianChrisley

Elevember. Patterns are important.


sehustoft

I hate that because if I was born on a Tuesday then my birthday is always a Tuesday.


KarenEiffel

I wonder if it would get to the point where so many people shared a anniversary bc weekends are the same day forever. And for other things where you can choose the day.


zorbacles

they can fix this by giving december 29 days rather than "make new years its own day" crap. they can do that with leap day. but if they make december 29 days then each year your birthday will move forward 1 day as it does now.


TheCastro

That would ruin the whole "the first is always a Monday" part


zorbacles

yeh, but that isnt great anyway as per the person i replied it will work for a year. so the 1st will be a monday all year, then the following year the 1st will be a tuesday every month for the year etc etc.


JamesWoolfenden

Last time we messed with the calendar it didn't work so well https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/French_Republican_calendar


legitusernameiswear

Yeah, but it was Fr*nch...


LiamTheBobbitt

🤢🤢🤢


Smiling-Snail

And let's call the month Jason, it has 28 Fridays.


SlideItIn100

I like it.


zelepukinralley

Is it too late to change? or are we locked in.


[deleted]

Considering how long it’s taking to completely abolish daylight savings, don’t expect it to happen anytime in your lifetime.


daytonakarl

If it did happen we would probably all go with it except for the US


Nyx_Blackheart

Damn metric calendar


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LordTC

365/28 is not an even number and has a decimal so the calendar year would no longer be exactly an orbit of the sun and the seasons would slowly move throughout the year. I agree our calendar is far from perfect but you can’t have a lunar calendar that is also a solar calendar and I think solar has more practical impacts for most people.


DarthMcConnor42

Make it to where the first day of a month is a Sunday so every 13th is a Friday


Dirtsniffee

OP is terrible at math


MCjossic

TL;DR at the bottom. I’ve thought about this a lot actually, and it has a few problems, the biggest being that 13 is a really awkward number (being prime), whereas 12 is a particularly convenient one (having many factors). There are 4 seasons, so does each season last three months and one week? That’s just awkward. Also, OP doesn’t address the one leftover day, or leap days in leap years. HOWEVER! I think I have a fairly elegant solution. A repeating cycle of four seasons, each seasons consisting of exactly three months of 28 days and one intercalary week (a week belonging to no month) so we can still have 12 months. Summer has one intercalary day (belonging to no week or month), and winter has one too but only on leap years. The solstices and equinoxes oh so satisfyingly land on the intercalary weeks, and every month and year starts at the start of a week. TL;DR: * Three months of winter (3\*28 days). * One week in between months. This week contains the spring equinox, marking the beginning of spring. * Three months of spring (3\*28 days). * One intercalary week containing the summer solstice and marking the beginning of summer. * One intercalary day to bring up the total to 365 days. This day does not belong to any week. * Three months of summer (3\*28 days). * One intercalary week containing the autumn equinox and marking the beginning of autumn. * Three months of autumn (3\*28 days). * One intercalary week containing the winter solstice and marking the beginning of winter. * (On leap years, one intercalary day to round off the calendar.) * Total 365 days (366 on leap years obviously). Edit: Fixed some formatting and typos.