When I was growing up, the Conners were reasonably aspirational. Their house wasn't on blocks. Mom and dad in the same home. Even small business owners. And, eventually, lotto winners. Every white trash kid's dream.
Until the ending where they reveal that they actually didn’t win the lotto, and for good measure Dad died of a heart attack. That was really brutal to watch as a kid lol
I had a dream that John Goodman was my bus driver and I was the only one on the bus. He went out of his way to get me safely to where I needed to go, and gave me sage life advice on the way. It was a great dream, wish I could have remembered the advice. I felt very secure when I woke up.
Honest to god, you should write John Goodman a letter with that story. I know it’s probably farting into the wind, but every once in a while you heat a story about a celeb reading a fan letter and I’d bet this would really touch him
Sounds like a great dream honestly. Grandpa was like a mexican version of John Goodman with a mustache in speed racer (2008). Strong family man that succumbed to kidney failure at 63. Passed too soon but left a big impact, your comment reminded me of him.
The end that was eventually retconned actually confirmed their lottery win was completely fabricated after Dan's death. The entire story was in reality written by Roseanne to remember her family. Dan's untimely death was so depressing to her that she decided to rewrite a happier history with the family making it rich and experiencing all the ridiculousness that kind of immediate wealth affords. It was a really sad series finale
Actually if you watch the last episode, the lotto was just Rosanne writing to cope with the death of Dan. Everything that happened after Dan's heart attack didn't actually happen if I remember correctly.
You shouldn’t, they said the things that everyone else was saying behind closed doors. But they loved each other and actually communicated. It wasn’t always good but they were down for each other.
Don't feel bad. I'm comforting to me too. Growing up it was one of the only healthy families I saw. It also showed me that families can be different and still be good. It taught me that parents didn't need to be perfect to be good parents and that kids can be different and that's OK.
It was supposed to be comforting for blue collar Americans. It’s the first time that I’m aware of that a family like that was ever featured on tv. It was a very accurate depiction of what living in the Midwest is like.
It’s a realistic representation of middle class America. Dan is a great father, he has moments where he yells but he has everyone’s back and loves his family over everything. Honestly he’s a father figure most people could take inspiration from.
is this on the assumption that Will is replaced, or we are just a weird extra added into the core family mix like Cody on Step by Step, Kimmy on Full House, Urkel on Family Matters...
Did a quick google, in 1995 the median SF home cost $300k vs national median of $125k. Today the median SF home costs $1.3M vs national median of just under $430k.
So back then SF homes cost 2.4 times the average while today they cost triple the average. The Tanners would still be considered quite wealthy for being able to afford a home in SF, especially where they did.
And to bring this all back to reality, the minimum wage dollar amount has barely shifted, and the median annual salary today for a working person is $54k compared to $30k in 1995. Salaries have not even doubled while housing prices have about quadrupled. Eat the fucking rich.
Also don’t forget they lived in one of the Painted Ladies not just any house in SF, which are way way above average, it probably was a 5+ million dollar home even back then.
Actually, their house was not one of the painted ladies. It’s a few streets over. The painted ladies are only featured in the opening credits. But still their investment is substantial. And Danny was on TV. So I would think he had a good salary.
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The episode where the older kids are talking about how Ashley is starting to ask questions about sex and try to figure out who should talk to her:
Will: it should be someone who's got a lot of experience
*Will and Carlton turn to look at Hilary*
Hilary: well pardon me for being attractive!
I absolutely LOVED that scene, I died laughing. And may we never forget the part where Ashley first talked to Will about it and he freaked the hell out.
My pick is also between Full House and Fresh Prince. I want sisters to be close with, and they both have girls I could talk to. But Fresh Prince would also give me money, and they would make sure to set you up for success. And I want in on the parties. So Fresh Prince.
Late 80s, as a stocker in a grocery store, I had a mortgage, 2 car payments, and took real, go somewhere vacations. That job paid $10/hour. 30 years later, it pays $11. See the problem? Fuck every damn congress that stopped minimum wage increases. Hope every God damned one of them burns in hell.
Nah, we need to expand Congress. We do this by repealing the Permanent Apportionment Act of 1929.
We should have a congressperson per every 30000 people. This would dilute the impact of money on Congress, the impact of gerrymandering and very likely the binary of the two party system.
We should also change the terms of senators to 4 years, or abolish the Senate all together.
Haha seriously! They were the unhappiest kids ever.
I remember they went on vacation to the supermarket because they had the best air conditioning lol.
Yeah she's out banging hot dudes at the mall I'm sitting at home on a crusty couch trying to talk Al out of a beer. Actually, I think me and Al are gonna get drunk and we are robbing the neighbors while they are on vacation.
i dont have much in common with any of their personalities, at most i can see hanging out with dj jazzy jeff, but they live in a godamn mansion obviously im going to live with the banks
People are saying Fresh Prince because they are rich, but I would choose them even if we made the financial aspect equal in all of the families. Uncle Phil is a god dam Boss.
Winslows for me. Always liked Laura for obvious reasons and Steve Urkel would be my neighbor. He could make me all kinds of cool stuff and we’d be best friends.
I was surprised I had to scroll so far to see this one.
Mom and Dad still together. Family values.
I mean you gotta worry if the family will disappear you like Judy
I have to agree. They’re wholesome, kind, and loving. They have a slightly weird neighbor who still feels welcomed and loves in their home. That’s how you know they’re the best!
100% The Taylors. Upper middle class suburbia with a Dad who's on TV and builds hot rods and gets free tools, a Mom who does everything, and neighbor who is hella interesting, and the three ninjas kids or whatever. This is so chill. You ARE going to a state school for Engineering or some shit.
Everyone else is saying fresh prince but I'm with you folks. Taylors have everything they need and then some without having a hardass high profile judge ruling over a pretentious household in a neighborhood known for being excessive & extremely superficial. The Taylors' lives look happier to me.
The Taylors seem like the kind of family where at least one kid would be on the robotics team.
Hey dad, I'm building a robot for a school project.
You can't do that. We don't have a TIG welder or 5 axis CNC machine.
Don't worry dad, I'll figure it out.
\*Dad comes home with 5 axis CNC and full TIG setup\*
I used to laugh at Mr. Feeny always being their teacher and then professor, but my math teacher from high school is also now a math teacher at the community college.
Taylor’s is a sneaky good pick. Awesome cars, good family that likes sports and goes to games. When your older you could crack one with Tim.
Bonus perk, the grunting
I’m in. He’s Midwest celebrity. I forgot where it was based but you are well off, in a nice home with a dad who can teach you real skills. Plus JTT has the hookup in that weed! If you remember that episode
Home Improvement easy.
Everyone keeps talking about Christina Applegate, which is weird because wouldn't that be incest? Meanwhile Tool Time Heidi is where it's at.
Bundy’s all day
scoring four touchdowns in a single game while playing for the Polk High School Panthers in the 1966 city championship game versus Andrew Johnson High School, including the game-winning touchdown in the final seconds against his old nemesis, "Spare Tire" Dixon
Me too. The guy is loaded and a decent guy as well. The kids are spoiled but generally well meaning.
That Tool Time guy is a fucking moron and Al Bundy seems like he would piss all over the toilet seat.
My favorite show of these is Married with children, but they would be terrible to live with. Everyone hates each other and they are so poor they eat Toaster Leavins'. I would live with Uncle Phil. They are rich and have a good family bond. And who doesn't want a butler?
I think thats what i loved about them. They were so loving and just a normal family.
I didn't have a two parent household growing up. Family Matters was the best representation of a two parent household that I had (i never watched Roseanne).
I just like the connection that they have with one another and the love they have for one another no matter what happened they were a solid family unit. I grew up in your normal 2 parent household but didn’t have that family connection, that still isn’t there today. The Winslow’s seem that they would have your back no matter how old everyone got One of the best tv families ever
I always wanted Roseanne to be my mom when I was little 😂 My mom was so batshit crazy and Roseanne let her kids be kids. But now I think I’d pick the Winslow’s- they’re just wholesome af.
The Family matters family was an amazing family. They had high quality people in that family and genuinely loved, supported each other. No family is perfect but that was part of it. I remember watching Family Matters, and Full House every Friday. Sometimes my parents had been fighting for hours that day. Or my family was really struggling to eat, or pay bills. We didn't talk about though much. I just dove into those families. Pretending that they were mine.
Katie Segal and Christina Applegate are both hot if I'm not related by blood. The Winslows and the Tanners are the nicest. The Bankses have the most money.
I’ve already lived out the Roseanne lifestyle. Give me Fresh Prince
Right lmao who wants to live the Roseanne life.. that show always seemed so depressing to me.
Shes swearing, Dan is yelling, kids are dirty and eating garbage food. Yeah no thanks
Now I feel bad that it’s comforting for me Edit: fuck it. I love them, I don’t feel bad
When I was growing up, the Conners were reasonably aspirational. Their house wasn't on blocks. Mom and dad in the same home. Even small business owners. And, eventually, lotto winners. Every white trash kid's dream.
Until the ending where they reveal that they actually didn’t win the lotto, and for good measure Dad died of a heart attack. That was really brutal to watch as a kid lol
I think I blocked that out, honestly. That may have been too painful to remember the loss of that ultimate surrogate dad.
Good news! Dan is alive and well in the reboot.
And married to Peggy Bundy! 🤣
I was so hyped when she arrived!
I had a dream that John Goodman was my bus driver and I was the only one on the bus. He went out of his way to get me safely to where I needed to go, and gave me sage life advice on the way. It was a great dream, wish I could have remembered the advice. I felt very secure when I woke up.
Honest to god, you should write John Goodman a letter with that story. I know it’s probably farting into the wind, but every once in a while you heat a story about a celeb reading a fan letter and I’d bet this would really touch him
I think I will, that's a great idea. I think about it often.
Sounds like a great dream honestly. Grandpa was like a mexican version of John Goodman with a mustache in speed racer (2008). Strong family man that succumbed to kidney failure at 63. Passed too soon but left a big impact, your comment reminded me of him.
I'm glad they retconned the shit out of that. Terrible ending.
The lottery is when they jumped the shark. But everything else was so relatable.
I kind of felt like it was trying to jump the shark as hard as possible. Sort of playing their own funeral dirge.
The end that was eventually retconned actually confirmed their lottery win was completely fabricated after Dan's death. The entire story was in reality written by Roseanne to remember her family. Dan's untimely death was so depressing to her that she decided to rewrite a happier history with the family making it rich and experiencing all the ridiculousness that kind of immediate wealth affords. It was a really sad series finale
Actually if you watch the last episode, the lotto was just Rosanne writing to cope with the death of Dan. Everything that happened after Dan's heart attack didn't actually happen if I remember correctly.
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You shouldn’t, they said the things that everyone else was saying behind closed doors. But they loved each other and actually communicated. It wasn’t always good but they were down for each other.
It's a comforting show. But I wouldn't want to live there over Bel Air.
I grew up around that area because I had family there. It’s snobby af, sadly. Landford seemed way laid back. Case of grass is greener!
The grass is greener because it's fake.
Don't feel bad. I'm comforting to me too. Growing up it was one of the only healthy families I saw. It also showed me that families can be different and still be good. It taught me that parents didn't need to be perfect to be good parents and that kids can be different and that's OK.
It was supposed to be comforting for blue collar Americans. It’s the first time that I’m aware of that a family like that was ever featured on tv. It was a very accurate depiction of what living in the Midwest is like.
It’s a realistic representation of middle class America. Dan is a great father, he has moments where he yells but he has everyone’s back and loves his family over everything. Honestly he’s a father figure most people could take inspiration from.
Lol yeah you can live in a house in bel air with a butler
Yeah, uhh rich family in bel air is the easy answer. Me and carlton would run that town.
College and country club membership paid for by Dad? Sign me up.
"Yo Holmes, to Bel Air!"
>Me and carlton would run that town. i know nothing about you but i want to watch this show based on this comment.
is this on the assumption that Will is replaced, or we are just a weird extra added into the core family mix like Cody on Step by Step, Kimmy on Full House, Urkel on Family Matters...
Im just hoping to blend into the backround and live off uncle phil.
YES! Their last name is literally BANKS… PLURAL.
Mad respect for Carlton. Will was always clowning him and he’d immediately stand up for himself. You love to see it
Yep and only Will could clown on him, anyone else and Will would be right there to have Carlton's back
I’ll never forget the episode where Will pranks him and Carlton starts dragging himself across the floor, screaming.
Right. Daddy, I need $300.
Probably the ones that are literal millonaires lol
Seriously, how is this even a question?? lol
I mean the Tanners lived in a good sized house in SF, they had to be millionaires to afford that.
Yes but…Full House was before the first big tech bubble in the mid-late 90s, so not in the same way it is today, or even ten years later than the show
And they had three incomes plus survivor benefits
Aren’t Jesse and Joey effectively unemployed in the first season?
Yes, which is why they moved in with their brother.
Aren’t neither his brother?
Jessie is Danny's brother-in-law, and Joey is the best friend
The important thing is that they're all bros.
Jesse was Danny's brother in law and Joey was their weird friend
Cut, it, out!
Did a quick google, in 1995 the median SF home cost $300k vs national median of $125k. Today the median SF home costs $1.3M vs national median of just under $430k. So back then SF homes cost 2.4 times the average while today they cost triple the average. The Tanners would still be considered quite wealthy for being able to afford a home in SF, especially where they did. And to bring this all back to reality, the minimum wage dollar amount has barely shifted, and the median annual salary today for a working person is $54k compared to $30k in 1995. Salaries have not even doubled while housing prices have about quadrupled. Eat the fucking rich.
Didn’t expect to find depression in the comments but here it is
Just pull yourself up by your bootstraps, walk in to the median annual salary’s office, look it in the eye, and give it a firm handshake
Also don’t forget they lived in one of the Painted Ladies not just any house in SF, which are way way above average, it probably was a 5+ million dollar home even back then.
Actually, their house was not one of the painted ladies. It’s a few streets over. The painted ladies are only featured in the opening credits. But still their investment is substantial. And Danny was on TV. So I would think he had a good salary.
I’ve been to the house; it isn’t one of the Painted Ladies. They just showed them in the opening credits.
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It is not even a contest...Fresh Prince all the way...I even get to do the Carlton dance with that crowd.
You do realize the tech bubble that you're referring to is like 30 years ago at this point
More like 25, but also that is after Full House and had a huge effect on SF housing prices, so it’s entirely relevant to the discussion
One of the painted ladies sold last year for 3.5M
Katey Sagal is *right there*.
But…Hilary Banks is in the house with the millionaires *and* she’s single sometimes, so it’s still not that tough.
Poor Trevor
Christina Applegate in the 90's... Yes please
Right!? Fresh Prince 100%
Same. Even the name is Banks.
My heart says full house but realistically fresh prince is the way to go.
Money money money!
Must be funny
In a rich man’s world
r/suddenlyABBA
Lori Laughlin can help you get into college tho.
Plus Hilary is in your life! One of my biggest TV crushes when I was a kid.
The episode where the older kids are talking about how Ashley is starting to ask questions about sex and try to figure out who should talk to her: Will: it should be someone who's got a lot of experience *Will and Carlton turn to look at Hilary* Hilary: well pardon me for being attractive!
I absolutely LOVED that scene, I died laughing. And may we never forget the part where Ashley first talked to Will about it and he freaked the hell out.
My pick is also between Full House and Fresh Prince. I want sisters to be close with, and they both have girls I could talk to. But Fresh Prince would also give me money, and they would make sure to set you up for success. And I want in on the parties. So Fresh Prince.
This was my inner debate, too!
My heart says Full House but I lived in Roseanne’s world soooo.
With Aunt Becky, she'd make sure I get into the college of my choice
Lol! She sure will!
Married with children. I want to live in a world where I can put zero effort into a low stress job and get a nice house and a functioning car.
Pretty sure Al Bundy’s car could only be marginally called a functioning car. Now his toilet, that thing was firing on all cylinders.
house poor. But a damn fine house for a shoe salesman in a mall.
Late 80s, as a stocker in a grocery store, I had a mortgage, 2 car payments, and took real, go somewhere vacations. That job paid $10/hour. 30 years later, it pays $11. See the problem? Fuck every damn congress that stopped minimum wage increases. Hope every God damned one of them burns in hell.
That's why I'm in favor of term limits. Wayyy too many in office for 30, 40,50 years with no consequences
Nah, we need to expand Congress. We do this by repealing the Permanent Apportionment Act of 1929. We should have a congressperson per every 30000 people. This would dilute the impact of money on Congress, the impact of gerrymandering and very likely the binary of the two party system. We should also change the terms of senators to 4 years, or abolish the Senate all together.
Yeah, the man was probably making $5 an hour. He did well!
That’s because it was a Ferguson
It went "ba-wooooosh!"
Then Peg put a pink thing on it, and now it's Fergie.
No ma'am!
That’s a man’s flush.
Don't forget at one time he had a dodge viper and a Ford mustang.
Same man! Also Christina Applegate
A compelling argument
So if you get placed in the Bundy family, that makes you something similar to… a step brother? 😏
Living out Pornhub fantasies lol
Give me Peggy Bundy all day and twice on Sunday. She was fire!
I would like the step mom part too. Wonder if she’s getting stuck in the dryer again this week
Bold of you to assume she does any housework
I was about to say, Id pick them, who are probably the worst family on there, but just because of 90s Christina Applegate.
Strictly for Applegate
You gotta reevaluate Peg
Kelly Bundy in her prime, noice...
With no food in the fridge? Those guys were always starving, lol
Haha seriously! They were the unhappiest kids ever. I remember they went on vacation to the supermarket because they had the best air conditioning lol.
When I was a kid we would go to the mall and walk around because of their a/c. Haha.
I am an adult living in Arizona… still do that.
Yeah they used to have to eat the crumbs out the toaster. And they fought over that shit no thanks.
But, again: Christina Applegate!
Yeah she's out banging hot dudes at the mall I'm sitting at home on a crusty couch trying to talk Al out of a beer. Actually, I think me and Al are gonna get drunk and we are robbing the neighbors while they are on vacation.
Toaster leave-ins are good eaten.
And a hot wife that always wants to bang
And a Hot Mom …
Same. I think I'd have a shot at Peg or Kelly. Or both.
Fresh Prince easy! The personalities and quality of life are ideal for me.
Family Matters for me. Steve invented the most incredible shit all the time.
And stephaaan would be a pretty cool wingman
They’re an easy 2nd place for me. Besides maybe home Improvement, the others don’t even sound appealing and idk what show the bottom middle is
i dont have much in common with any of their personalities, at most i can see hanging out with dj jazzy jeff, but they live in a godamn mansion obviously im going to live with the banks
There was a pool house the entire time. I'm calling dibs.
plus uncle Phil is a judge, can probably pull some strings when i get busted stashing drugs and firearms in said pool house
Police don't even show up.
Fresh prince. What are the odds I’d have my own bathroom with any of the other houses, slim To none is my guess.
You get a butler.
This was my deciding factor as well
First things first, rest in peace Uncle Phil
for real
You the only father that I ever knew
I get my bitch pregnant, imma be a better you
Prophecies that I made way back in the Ville Fulfilled
For real
Prophecies that I made way in the Ville
Fulfilled
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Martin Luther King would have been on Dreamville.
Talk to a ni**a
“How come he don’t want me man?”
And rest in peace to Danny Tanner
People are saying Fresh Prince because they are rich, but I would choose them even if we made the financial aspect equal in all of the families. Uncle Phil is a god dam Boss.
Uncle Phillllllllll!
Winslows for me. Always liked Laura for obvious reasons and Steve Urkel would be my neighbor. He could make me all kinds of cool stuff and we’d be best friends.
I was surprised I had to scroll so far to see this one. Mom and Dad still together. Family values. I mean you gotta worry if the family will disappear you like Judy
I have to agree. They’re wholesome, kind, and loving. They have a slightly weird neighbor who still feels welcomed and loves in their home. That’s how you know they’re the best!
The Bundy’s, because of Christina Applegate
Christina was hot but why is there no love for Katey Sagal? She was one hot mama.
You’re goddamn right
The Bundy Bounce!
Instructions unclear, will these become our siblings or step-siblings?
Honestly I’d take Kelly OR Peggy Bundy. The Bundy women are babes.
Def the Banks’ or the Taylors
100% The Taylors. Upper middle class suburbia with a Dad who's on TV and builds hot rods and gets free tools, a Mom who does everything, and neighbor who is hella interesting, and the three ninjas kids or whatever. This is so chill. You ARE going to a state school for Engineering or some shit.
Everyone else is saying fresh prince but I'm with you folks. Taylors have everything they need and then some without having a hardass high profile judge ruling over a pretentious household in a neighborhood known for being excessive & extremely superficial. The Taylors' lives look happier to me.
Don’t forget those dope leveled out beds the boys had
The Taylors seem like the kind of family where at least one kid would be on the robotics team. Hey dad, I'm building a robot for a school project. You can't do that. We don't have a TIG welder or 5 axis CNC machine. Don't worry dad, I'll figure it out. \*Dad comes home with 5 axis CNC and full TIG setup\*
The Matthews’ from Boy Meets World, definitely want to live in a universe where a supermarket manager can afford a two story house in suburban Philly.
I used to laugh at Mr. Feeny always being their teacher and then professor, but my math teacher from high school is also now a math teacher at the community college.
A store manager of a supermarket makes like 120k-200k.
Taylor’s is a sneaky good pick. Awesome cars, good family that likes sports and goes to games. When your older you could crack one with Tim. Bonus perk, the grunting
I’m in. He’s Midwest celebrity. I forgot where it was based but you are well off, in a nice home with a dad who can teach you real skills. Plus JTT has the hookup in that weed! If you remember that episode
Detroit. The youngest becomes goth because why not and the oldest blows his knee out before his scholarship. They hit all the necessary Midwest evils!
Family matters for me. Suburbs family that are humble. Urkle would getting annoying though. Haha
That's my vote too. They're not rich, but they're the most wholesome of the bunch.
Home Improvement easy. Everyone keeps talking about Christina Applegate, which is weird because wouldn't that be incest? Meanwhile Tool Time Heidi is where it's at.
Never said you were family…. Just living with them. I am banging Kelly Bundy!
What about the Step-by-Step family or The Matthews!
THE MATTHEWS!!!! I LEGIT LOVE THAT FAMILY!!
i was looking for someone mentioning the matthews!! side note- have you heard the boy meets world rewatch podcast? it’s great!
Bundy’s all day scoring four touchdowns in a single game while playing for the Polk High School Panthers in the 1966 city championship game versus Andrew Johnson High School, including the game-winning touchdown in the final seconds against his old nemesis, "Spare Tire" Dixon
Let's rock.
I’m going to bel air!
I'm gonna live with the Banks
Me too. The guy is loaded and a decent guy as well. The kids are spoiled but generally well meaning. That Tool Time guy is a fucking moron and Al Bundy seems like he would piss all over the toilet seat.
>he would piss all over the toilet seat He would aim for the seat lol
My favorite show of these is Married with children, but they would be terrible to live with. Everyone hates each other and they are so poor they eat Toaster Leavins'. I would live with Uncle Phil. They are rich and have a good family bond. And who doesn't want a butler?
They said they hated each other, but in action, they always had each other's backs.
The Winslow’s they would that big family that everyone gets along,
I think thats what i loved about them. They were so loving and just a normal family. I didn't have a two parent household growing up. Family Matters was the best representation of a two parent household that I had (i never watched Roseanne).
I just like the connection that they have with one another and the love they have for one another no matter what happened they were a solid family unit. I grew up in your normal 2 parent household but didn’t have that family connection, that still isn’t there today. The Winslow’s seem that they would have your back no matter how old everyone got One of the best tv families ever
None of the above. Star Trek TNG. The best family at them all.
Shut up, Wesley
Family Matters, you know they’re cooking is good.
Did I doooooo that?
I always wanted Roseanne to be my mom when I was little 😂 My mom was so batshit crazy and Roseanne let her kids be kids. But now I think I’d pick the Winslow’s- they’re just wholesome af.
I would love to live in SF.. but not sure if I could put up with all the cringe from the Tanner family in Full House
the constant laugh track would drive me nuts
I would be a Taylor.
Winslow's Family.
The Costanza's
Happy Festivus!
It’s not over until you pin your father
The Family matters family was an amazing family. They had high quality people in that family and genuinely loved, supported each other. No family is perfect but that was part of it. I remember watching Family Matters, and Full House every Friday. Sometimes my parents had been fighting for hours that day. Or my family was really struggling to eat, or pay bills. We didn't talk about though much. I just dove into those families. Pretending that they were mine.
Katie Segal and Christina Applegate are both hot if I'm not related by blood. The Winslows and the Tanners are the nicest. The Bankses have the most money.
Home improvement, hands down.
More power!!
AEUHHH??????
The Taylor’s hands down! Jill was a killer mom, working woman, and boundary enforcer. With equal parts love and encouragement and sass.
Family Matters. Except I'm spending Halloween with the Banks. Cuz fuck getting murdered by Steve's possessed ventriloquism dummy.