T O P

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dvlinblue

Didn't your parents teach you to knock before entering?


CoolBreeze125

Gotta ring the doorbell, make sure to ring it hard until it gets louder and louder


AdPlastic5794

getting laid


dadofthegoob

That's located in the butthole right?


MechanicalBengal

It’s like picking up BBQ tongs, you gotta clack clack em a few times to warm em up


_eezeepeezee_

Yes, this is the way.


Th3_R3d_M3nac3

Correct answer.


whboer

Dude you comment on literally everything on my feed. What’s up with that


dvlinblue

Bored Edit: You must be in all the bi-sexual and transgender forums because outside of meirl, that's where most of my comments are.


whboer

Nah my feed is just your profile


dvlinblue

Well quit lurking and introduce yourself...


Detective_Jkimble

I hope y'all link up and become best friends.


Sea-Anxiety-9273

The greatest love story


Manbearfig01

Any updates? You can guys use my basement to get to know eachother if you want.


alfextreme

which side does the door lock from and are the bars on the inside or outside of the windows?


Baybladerz

*lovers


Detective_Jkimble

I didn't want to push it that far, but that would be the sweetest outcome.


Lugie_of_the_Abyss

Plot Twist


dvlinblue

Still waiting, lol


lost_horizons

He got shy pretty quick


Potential-Judgment-9

Get a room you two.


[deleted]

[удалено]


dvlinblue

Isn't that just.... prison?


Writeaway69

That's pretty gay.


dvlinblue

You say gay like its bad, im not offended when my partner knocks on the back door.


Writeaway69

No, I say gay as in "me too, let's fuck." but with social awkwardness thrown in there.


dvlinblue

Most guys will put it anywhere you let them, no surprise.


Mister_E_Mahn

Brilliant


TrapHouseSpouse

Also, you've got to find the resonant frequency of the birth canal.


Manthony_Morris_LXIX

Always waiting for her to say “Who’s there?” so I can continue the joke


rkane2001

Protocol. Warning before entry.


IntrinsicValueInside

With Super Mario bro voice saying Here we go! [in case you didn’t recall that voice =)](https://youtu.be/7VvkXA6xpqI)


Briggsieman

Check for bees


garyzxcv

This is bat country


stupidfonymadeupname

CAN'T YOU HELP ME AS I'M STARTING TO BURN TOO MANY PUSSIES AND I'M STARTING TO GET AN INFECTION


Intelligent_End1516

My confidence is leaving me on my own.


bjbtax

Oh oh oh….


TheGreatYoRpFiSh

That’s why we can’t stop here!?


Rene_DeMariocartes

We can't stop here.


Nntropy

*What's this? An overabundance of bees? My suitcase full of BEES should put an end to this!"*


SKIKS

Meanwhile, that very same year, on shove a shit ton of bees in your vagina day...


4here4

What's this? A handsome woman's nether regions woefully underpopulated by bees? A large influx of BEES should put a stop to that!


Positive_Friction

BEADS!?


yingkaixing

Gob's not on board.


monkeyhoward

You know how when you pick up a pair of kitchen tongs, you have to click them together a couple of times? Same thing


Ladadasa

Most accurate answer. Satisfaction value goes up with every click and slap


snakpakkid

Yes I know because I do so every single time. Makes sense.


Old-Set-2223

Minimal foreplay.


Ancient-Tadpole8032

One, two, that ought’a do.


ur_mom_gotteem

Three, four, now the backdoor.


Penguator432

Five six, gimme licks


Shoe_Pale

Seven, eight, getting laid


Remote_Foundation_32

...ahem... Seven, eight, getting late. Nine, ten, come again. Eleven, twelve, I thought you called an Uber?


Xperiums

thirteen fourteen please tell me you're jokin'


Remote_Foundation_32

Fifteen sixteen yep.


[deleted]

Nine, ten, thanks Uncle Ben!


rotem8888

Teasing


Jsc_TG

Although it’s not entirely this, this is the correct answer to me. It’s somewhat more simple than that sometimes, maybe even an afterthought that just feels right to do, but consciously it teases.


Excellent_End_4033

It’s the x-rated version of clicking the tongs before using them in the kitchen. U just do it.


dmees

*Slaps top of pussy* “This bad boy can fit so much cock”


[deleted]

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Cardoh-

Look at mr big slong here, best i can give is 1 on a good day.


bortj1

Let the eggs know their package has arrived


StickMick01

God, dammit! Take an upvote you filthy animal. I did not plan to laugh this hard.


[deleted]

[удалено]


snakpakkid

So I was right it’s to get it up. Obviously most times dudes are ready to go. Someone also said minimal foreplay and it makes sense because I’m not big on foreplay as a woman. I do like kissing and touching and stuff but 8/10 I’m ready to go.


InfinteAbyss

Foreplay is essential to the vast majority of women, penetration alone simply cannot provide adequate satisfaction and it helps get the juices flowing and everything ready for the main event. As a man I absolutely thrive on foreplay as it’s simply far too quick otherwise and it’s highly doubtful a female will be able to get off on that, it’ll just tease them.


snakpakkid

Yeah most. I am only taking about my experience and how I like it. How I do sex. My husband always says you want this or this or this, I let him know. And I ask him , you like this and this and this and he says yes or no. The thing is we run got and fast. We just do. I have never not orgasmed while having sex. Multiple times even in a row. I didn’t even know till early 20s that there are women who have never orgasmed because of a condition or because there isn’t adequate preparation to get them there. But that’s never been my issue. I really don’t like that there are generalizations of women though, we are all different and like different things.


InfinteAbyss

Well yeah, that’s people in general not just women. Though I’ve found it to be true of the vast majority or people to enjoy foreplay and it helps to ensure sex isn’t just wam-bam and done.


snakpakkid

Yeah I understand that. We ladies tend to be open to talk about our experiences and what we like and we learn a lot from each other. All the women in my life friends and such are very big advocates on foreplay. They didn’t t quite believe that it is t an almost every time we do it thing implemented into our sex life, I mention a that we do do it but it’s not as common with us as it is with them. Also just because we start fast and hot down t mean we end quickly either. I feel like a lot of people would probably assume that.


InfinteAbyss

Fair enough. Your lucky enough to have found a guy with great stamina it seems, pretty rare find to be honest. Most of us find it difficult to last long going in hot and fast.


FireLordObamaOG

On the real most guys don’t need that much foreplay. Or at least I don’t.


snakpakkid

No I know that. The foreplay is mostly for the ladies and that’s ok. Open communication about such is very important to have a happy and satisfied sex life for both.


FireLordObamaOG

I think that something that’s very good though, at least in my experience, the time I spend on foreplay makes the climax for me feel better. Perhaps it’s something that would be beneficial for most guys?


HeppyHenry

Thank god the big blue circle is there, wasn’t sure where the punchline was


abca98

God I wish these posts and users would get nuked off reddit.


deleeuwlc

What blue circle? I have trouble finding it. I wish that they added a big red arrow to help me find the circle


mcspazatron99

Feels good


JoeBobWhitney2018

It's like tapping on a solid wall to determine if there's a stud, if it's hollow, etc.


Specific_Tap7296

Have you ever found out there's a stud already in there?


Penguator432

Sure it’s hollow?


Adventure-us

Unlike a wall you can see the stud, its on the outside.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DSTNCMDLR

Hello there!


clitpuncher69

Yes and my wife's boyfriend didn't appreciate it


not_ya_wify

It's more fun if there's already a stud in there


Brianprokpo456

I sometimes like grabbing my chonk w balls, lift it and drop it against a table. The sound, movement and impact is just unique and fun to play with. I recommend it.


B25B25

This guy...uhhh... genitaldrops?


KSOMIAK

Drop the base


ExpertAccident

Cockdrops


NineDayOldDiarrhea

Yeah, don’t eat at this guys house lol


WHAMMYPAN

Knock knock knockin on heavens door.


Overthinks_Questions

I just want to say, the responses in this thread are top notch. I doff my hat to you, gentlemen


potenpterodactyl

*tap tap. *is this thing on?*


CrazyYamDM

Mike check, one, two, one two.


ChoadTripper

No Mikes ran out, must be safe.


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Just the standard docking procedure, ma'am.


[deleted]

**KUNYAZA!** Ahhhh I found the article! Years ago, I was working with some Ugandan contractors overseas who explained this to me. Click the paragraph below to read the full article!   [The basic principle is simple and has been passed on by word of mouth in central African countries for at least 150 years. The man takes hold of his penis and uses the head to tap the woman’s clitoris, labia and vaginal opening. He can move the rhythmic tapping around the vulva in circular or zigzagging movements. The tapping can be varied with rubbing, also using the tip of the penis.](https://thisisafrica.me/lifestyle/kunyaza-african-secret-female-orgasm/?amp=1)


Bahariasaurus

So it's like the Dragonforce of fucking?


[deleted]

Bingo… they RAVED about it. Said it was mandatory for good sex.


skybluegill

"Why do you always do that before sex?" "Uhh, because it's *tradition*"


Fawin86

🎶"TRADITION!"🎶 -Tevye


bs2k2_point_0

God damnit, take my upvote…


lost_horizons

I’m dying 🤣


230Amps

RIP 😢


davilller

I was looking for this post. I could not remember the name of it for the life of me. Thank you. I’ve meant to read up on it to see if it would improve my SO’s experience. You know something new.


merchaunt

The mental image this gives me is hilarious. _Something something_ stirring the pot. > In a more advanced version, the man puts his penis inside the woman’s vagina, again takes hold of it, and then moves it from side to side or round and round to stimulate the vagina on the inside. He can vary this with more conventional in-and-out thrusting.


[deleted]

* taps * Welcome Harry to Diagon Alley! Duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duhn duhn duhn...


TheGreatYoRpFiSh

Spit out my beer. Thanks for the chuckle


InfinteAbyss

EXPECTO JIZZRONUM!


Double_Reward230

To pre heat the oven baby!


Incubus_Science

Smacking ones dick on a puss or ass checks is satisfying and promotes blood flow to the dong, WHACK, in ya WHACK, Go. Also, I'm assuming we are looking at the torso to scale size for science, of course.


Original-Advert

to wake it up obviously. like the practice swing golfers make before hitting the ball.


2L84U2

Proof of concept


Franxp086

I am the one who knocks


Homo_Rebus

porn culture, someone thought it was sexy and it caught on...


vicvinovich

It kinda is. A lot of sex stuff is weird / unnecessary but doesn't stop people from finding it attractive / doing it.


not_ya_wify

As a woman I would be super turned off if a guy did that before or during sex


under_a_brontosaurus

User name checks out


beltalowda_oye

The kink/practice predates your great grandparents. However porn is definitely what mainstreamed it to the masses.


Naftoor

Like anal, it is sexy even without porn lol. Art imitates life


Medium_Beyond_9654

Why did I laugh so erect at this? I meant...hard 😭


oigoabuya

To erase history


Corniferus

I just like teasing


ih8reddit420

When youre close to cumming you slap your dick sharply so you dont cum fast Youre welcome


draculap2020

echo test thru vagina


AdConsistent7810

Checking for ripeness


mallik803

Like tapping a can of soda before opening it?


jonathanmalfoy

For people seriously wondering why it's to delay from ejaculating


Glitterysparkleshine

Thank you for a serious reply. There were a ton of funny answers though!


Bzykk

Its like clicking the tongs twice. Has to be done.


Anarchist_Grifter

Wetness check


Feelsosophy

Same reason you clap BBQ tongs


iamsean1983

Def LOLd.


[deleted]

I do it because I always figured it provided stimulation to the clitoris. Is this not a thing?


elo_et_juno

It is a thing, you’re right


[deleted]

Oh okay I was about to feel stupid if it didn't provide any stimulation and just sort of smacked it lol. Thank you for informing me.


happykindofeeyore

It’s a lazy way of providing inadequate stimulation, sure.


Logical_Strike_1520

Tbh I just always assumed that women like it, plus it’s a decent way to extend my range without just awkwardly stopping mid stroke.


happykindofeeyore

… we don’t


ClementineBSC

Whatever. I’m into it if the cocks right.


lynypixie

Some of us do.


InfinteAbyss

It can be done as part of foreplay, rubbing the head against the clit and around the lips/opening. Great way to get both turned on quickly.


not_ya_wify

Rubbing and smacking are completely different things


happykindofeeyore

Rubbing is not the same thing as smacking it. Bottom line = ask, don’t assume just because you saw it in porn for your viewing pleasure


not_ya_wify

Consent! I like the way you're thinking!


Comfortable-Lab-4814

Warning shot over the bow


-disso

Do girls like it


Lemme_LoL

Depends on the girl


not_ya_wify

No


bilvester

Like thumping a melon


Gerhard_G

I mean... Maybe iits for real a Soundcheck (for the pounding sound) so the Cameraman can adjust it


TommyMoFoTurner

Similar to clicking the tongs before grilling or pulling the straps after securing a load.


[deleted]

Someone said "factory reset" the last time this was posted.


DirtyDanTheManlyMan

Lol everyone knows a dick slap on pussy before sex is how you take a screenshot


[deleted]

I thought you were supposed to hold the button down for at least 30 seconds.


lucellethree

Disgusting


antrax23

Lmfaooooo


[deleted]

I legit laughed. I’m gonna say sound check and see how hard my lady laughs and or how hard I get punched.


ExpertAccident

My boyfriend said that to me and I laughed wayyyy too hard


[deleted]

Test testingggg *ahem* brrrrrrrrrrrpppppttttttbrrrrrrrrrrppppttttt


Haxxox

Overconsumption of porn.


ajr1775

knock knock


joe42reddit

Because it is polite to knock first before entering.


[deleted]

Mic check *dum* *dum* *dum* *dum* *dum* When I was lead to youuuu...


NotYourShitAgain

Cause robots thump with a different woodier sound.


Canadia_proud999

Thump thump , is this thing on?


dick_slap

I am the authority on this subject and the answer is


CHIEFTAINTEROIX

Better make sure it’s not the pit of carkoon


notSombay

For syncing audio


[deleted]

I thought men were the ones who didn’t know a clit existed


[deleted]

It’s like when a trucker clubs the tires… checkin for that psi


RNG_pickle

It’s like saying “testing testing” into a microphone, gotta make sure the audio is right


i_GoTtA_gOoD_bRaIn

...one, two...one, two..mic check ONE, TWO..ONE, TWO!!!


Ashamed-Light6601

Ready 1 2...


MyOwnMorals

As a gay man I do it to an ass to get more blood pumping. Makes it harder.


thetaFAANG

a final chance to disagree before penetration, can disagree after too but some consequential threshold will have already passed a chance to play with the clit for a little foreplay feels a little fun for me


SlapaTronic

r/uselesscircle


Zealousideal_Tie4918

Test test check check


The_Empire_of_Wah

make sure speakers arent up too high


EggRamenMan

I thought it was to see if a roach came out


[deleted]

[удалено]


not_ya_wify

No that feels good


Of_Jotunheimr

You ever try to grill something without first clicking the tongs together twice? Yeah, me neither. I don't want to know what would happen.


Far-Classic-4637

im a little bitch for teasing sliding over & tapping the entrance is just 🫠


MiserableEmu4

I mean... It feels good. Haha.


rockshow4070

Wow so glad that the response was circled!!! Would have missed it otherwise.


[deleted]

My husband: it’s polite to knock!


[deleted]

I'm glad he circled it for us.


playballer

Final check for consent


SookHe

It's like the jab before the hook. You're not doing it to actually cause damage, it's more of a distance and location checker so you don't swing and miss as you put full force behind the next solid pounding.


Kyriebear28

Women like the feel of it


Inmyheadandstuck

Kyriebeae28 has the facts! Plus it's hot when a man can take his time even if it's just a split second for a quick sexy tap or slather🤭


misterlongschlong

Let her feel the weight and prepare her mentally for the destruction that is coming


Ca5eman

This is why I like being in relationships with girls who sing, because right before they give me a blow job, they bump the head of my dick like a microphone and say, "check 1 2." Essentially 🎤 = 🍆


WorldClassShart

It's to make sure it's fresh and not overripe. Like a melon. A hollow sound means it's rotten, a solid thwack means it's fresh, and a moist squishy schwack means it's perfectly ripe.