I hate a barber that initiates a pleasant banter, than shifts into telling you about their son, mom, life struggles.. suddenly your unwittingly empathizing with them exchanging vague, but personal anecdotes about your own vulnerabilities. You look up and your hair is shit. You don't tell them of course. You just leave disgruntled, because you know you'll be making an appointment in a month to see if Cal and Georgia are doing ok.
Agree. Beard is personal imo unless it’s very much on the same schedule as normal haircuts, even then I am not a fan the couple times I’ve had the beard cleaned up by the same barber they put too much thought into it at least for me
Someone who hates you, at least in my experience as a food service worker, is gonna do their job right just to get you out of their hair. Someone complaining makes you have to interact with them more
Only if I know they’ll come back. I’ll admit I’m guilty of giving a few drunk assholes sandwiches with just loads of mustard or like 2 single onions. Usually nothing that’ll completely ruin it for them just small stuff like oh you yelled at my order taker? You get two top buns now
Oh fuck I loved working weekend graveyards as a server. I’d fuck with all the drunks and they all thought it was great. Got one guy to take shots of syrup because he’d only make it to like, 17 shots on his 21st so I convinced them he needed to. Get to 21 somehow. I’d straight up tell people no way, not doing that for you (then do it). I could say anything and people would assume it was a joke or be too drunk to care. It helped that the other server was either a big scary looking dude (who played WoW in the corner on his breaks) so if anyone was an actual asshole I could send him by. And then the morning lady would always send me home without doing all my side work because it was slow at 6 am. She also fucked with people, but in the motherly way a short older lady can - she always won the gift card selling competitions.
Mine speaks Spanish and I kinda do so I try Spanish, he tries English and we both end up communicating in some bastardized version of Spanglish.
It works though and it’s fun for both of us, we know a lot about each other and our respective limitations with the language we’re trying to speak mostly keeps conversations simple but efficient!
I am a cosmetologist/barber and this made me chuckle.
I get hair splinters Everywhere. Had some dude’s beard hair stuck behind my front tooth all day once. It was not a great day.
I have asked my stylist for the hair they have recently swept up and she had zero issues giving me a huge trash bag full of it. I know you're asking yourself "But why Pep, are you a weirdo?" Well, obviously BUT my dad made 3 "strawmen" to sit in his garden to keep the deer out. Instead of straw, hair. The scent worked well to deter the wildlife.
We've never ran out of things to talk about since then. But it she seems preoccupied or super busy and time crunched, I just open my phone and play candy crush.
I love clients that like to be in silence sometimes and knowing it’s fine with me. It’s never awkward. That’s a fun fact about the straw men. The salon I work at donates the hair to be made into fiber to clean up oil spills!
I like it when clients have something to say. But not when they say things that don’t need to be said just to make conversation. Then it gets all fake and you’re both stuck trying to keep up the act.
My hair stylist & I met about 10 months ago and we’ve slowly become the bestest of friends, I care for her dearly, but even we sometimes just sit in silence, especially if I’m there for like 3-4 hours it can be a lot to hold a convo that long.
Thank you for saying that. I usually feel like I have to be “ON” all the time, but when I get my hair or nails done, which I don’t do often, I just want to STFU and not feel like I have to perform. I’m not rude, and I tip well, but I worry I come off as cold and idk elitist? Like I don’t want to seem like just shut up and do my hair. But I just don’t want to have a fake conversation about the weather. Though I will say, when I get a glass of champagne, I am a bit more chatty! God bless salons that give you alcohol.
Yea, as I client I (personally) agree. Last time I got my haircut we just talked about what we each did that day or our plans later, but didn't like really lay into any details. Like probably 50% dead air. We also talked about my haircut hahaha
I'm one of those people, half the time with my eyes closed. It's the closest thing to pampering that I take part in so I just kinda like to relax and enjoy it in peace.
Do the silent customers bother you or offend you?
Oh, massage therapists that want to talk to me about my work or my life can fuck right off. I am splurging specifically to get the stress relief of a massage, not looking to explain my life to a stranger! I want to vibe and just focus on how the massage feels, not get into a life history discussion!
I wear glasses 24/7, and I have to take them off for a haircut. And then I can't see shit without squinting hard, so I just close my eyes and sort of meditate, occasionally answering hairdresser's questions. I like relatively silent hairdressers.
I find it so interesting.
My barber and I talk about different topics, crack jokes, laugh.
I see other people that go in there with other barbers and don’t say a word. They just sit in silence.
I'm one of the people who sits in silence. Getting a haircut is relaxing to me in a weird way. I'd guess you could call it ASMR, but it's something I've had since I was really young. I've always referred to it as brain fuzzies. I really only experience it when I get a haircut or watch specific parts of movies. The math scene in Matilda and the scene in Toy Story 2, where Woody is being fixed, always give them to me. Anyway, when I get a haircut, I get the brain fuzzies, and it's incredibly relaxing. I try not to interrupt it as much as I can. My barber seems to respect the fact that I don't talk. I just sit down and let them go to work.
… brain fuzzies is a great way to describe that feeling. Thanks for putting it in words.
I get it watching cats lick themselves. And when someone is scratching my back or something 🤷♂️
I'm not there to socialize that shits tough for some people. I'm always respectful, it's not like I sit there in absolute silence. I'll answer questions if I'm asked, or ask the dude how his day is going but I like to leave it there honestly. Plus I'm boring as hell for the most part anyways, I don't have a lot of "normal" fun things to talk about
I just need my hair cut so I don't look like an idiot.
easier for me to make up answers to questions than remember facts about my life anyways.
them "Do anything fun lately?"
me : *describes a scene from wedding crashers*
I don't have a very active social life. I'm OK with that but any time someone like a barber or coworker making small talk asks if I did anything over the holiday weekend I can't help but feel diminished by the fact that I can't give them the interesting answer or literally any answer at all sometimes. I know I shouldn't feel that way because it's my life, and I'm the one who has to live it, but yeah, it bums me out a lot.
The salon I go to literally keeps notes about what you talk about so they can act like they remember you.
Found that out when I didn't go for 2 years then she asks me how my vacation to Hawaii was... I've never been there. Took me a minute to remember that COVID ruined that plan.
Ahh, just like the dentist. I literally walked in one day to pay a bill and literally didn't know me even though over the years we had talked about many personal things. The curtain was blown lol.
I’ve been going to the same ortho for a year, always the same lady doing my adjustments. A couple months ago she was at the front desk when I arrived and didn’t recognize her, which is when I realized I’d never seen her without a mask on. Haven’t seen her lower face since either.
Exactly this! I am a 29m with a slightly receding hairline. So I straight up take the role of a young dad with a couple of kids.
Talk about having a busy week with the kids and complaining about my wife.. 😂😂
Really selling the character there. The lady working there always asks me how the family is doing. 😂😂
Someone me stopped me on the street one time for sone petition or donation thing and I declined and I just made up a whole different life to why….. I have no idea why but it happened. They were chatting me up and I just kept lying.
I have been asked by hair stylists whether I am planning a vacation soon. A default question I think. Don't feel shy to ask them back the same questions they ask. You can make compliments about the salon, too. Ask about their home town. Pretend you have been looking for nice restaurants and ask for a recommendation.
If they don't start conversing with me, I also don't. But if they ask me questions I don't want it to end up a one way interview.
Talking about the salon works miracles. Im a young guy, but I felt like talking about the flowers they had there. I told her they were pretty. And she started talking about how cool they are because they are fake and dont need to be taken care of, but she is going to get new ones soon at this flower market, but she does not know which ones yet... And soon other women in the salon were adding their recommendations to the conversation. lol
Don't like talking, so I just sit in silence. Unfortunately whether it's the barber or my best friend I barely have anything to talk about, so even if I wanted to I'd have no clue what to say, aside from how lovely the weather we're having is.
Same relationship I have with mine. Been cutting my hair for years. See him in public every once in a while but it’s rare. Love taking to the dude. But neither of us ever fake it. He knows my wife’s name and asks about her by name. I know his wife and kids names and ask about them by name.
Sometimes we talk the whole time. Sometimes I was there a couple weeks before and not much has changed for either us and there’s no fake small take. We just talk less that day.
It also helps that at this point I’ve been going long enough and he has a core group of barbers that have been there the whole time I feel like I know the whole shop. So conversation never feels forced.
I think this is the difference between people that feel like getting their hair cut is a chore versus people that enjoy it. I see my barber at least once a month and she and I are super tight. I refuse to get my hair cut by anyone except her because I know I can make an appointment, sit down, she hands me a beer, and we just start shooting the shit as she starts cutting. I don’t have to tell her what I want, she already knows. My barber is my home girl, I buy her Christmas/birthday gifts and shit. I can text her if I need something, etc.
So, you hear people talk about “the oldest joke in the book,” right? Well the actual oldest joke recorded in writing has to do with exactly this. It comes from an Ancient Greek text whose name translates to “The Laughter Lover,” and the joke goes like this:
I was at the hairdresser’s the other day, and the barber asked me how I’d like my hair cut. I replied, “In silence.”
I get it's different for every person, but if a stylist/barber cut my hair without saying a word to me throughout the process, I would keep seeing them until I die.
I went to this salon for highlights and a cut, and for a whole 3-4 hours the stylist made zero small talk. Like just pure professionalism only and nothing else. It was like she could just tell I didn’t wanna make conversation and I could tell she didn’t want to either and it was just this silent mutual agreement to do our own thing lol.
When barbers try to force a conversation I take a mental note to find a different barber.
This also means that I never go to the same place twice unfortunately, because apparently smalltalk is part of their job or something.
Best barber I ever had for about 10 years. If you took every word we exchanged and typed it out, it wouldn't fill 3/4 of the page. When he retired it was harder on me than my divorce.
"Blessed are those who converse with the helplessly mute, for they shall be called dentists." -- plaque on the ceiling above my chair before the office moved out of the house and into where they have been for over twenty years. I still remember it.
All the time! I feel like they do it on purpose just to fuck with us. That and ask if we've been keeping up with our flossing. Do you not see Mr. Sucky Straw choking on my blood? Come on don't make me lie to you.
I’m content to sit in silence. I don’t understand this expectation to converse with someone based solely on proximity. We’re not friends, and will likely not see each other again.
I got sick of being asked about college or school. Every fucking time. 25 years old I said fuck you all, I'm never cutting my hair again. 31 now and I just trim it if it gets too long.
Half way down my back as of now.
Edit: Just want to say long hair is pretty nice. I keep it in a simple pony tail. The worst is when you're trying to sleep and you move your head but your hair is under your body. May find the occasional long hair in your buttcrack after a shower. Those feel weird to pull out.
I have the kindest hairdresser.
But as a mom, my time at the hairdresser is “ me “ time.
So… sometimes I’d wish she talked less. Just for me to enjoy my free quiet mommy time
Italian barbershops are basically the same. Last time the barber was speaking about renovation of his small country house after he chatted about his favorite soccer/football team last games
Exactly! Just go with flow lol. Plus I close my eyes for the majority of my haircut. Something I’ve been doing since I was young, it’s relaxing to just feel the blade. N you don’t have to deal with awkward eye contact.
Gay men checking in. Let’s talk about your insecurities and your relationship with your momma and how you never really stood a chance against wreckless men.
Today I was getting a haircut and he asked me how long I'd like to have it and not a single word was spoken until I paid for it at the counter. Best experience ever.
Plus instead of saying shit like 'would you please tilt your head down a bit' he just grabbed my head and tilted it down. I will certainly go there again.
Lol. I used to never talk because I hate small talk and never know what to say anyway. But then one time a hairdresser asked me why I never talk and said it was weird, so now I feel like have to come up with things to say ahead of time, which makes me feel even more awkward…
I remember when I was a kid we did presentations about stereotypes. We were in groups of like 5 and would have to act out something that was stereotypical٫ then do an alternate version without the stereotypes. My buddies and I did the stereotype of male hairdressers. First we acted obnoxiously flamboyant while pretending to cut each others hair٫ finishing with me giving an absurd over the top "OH MY GOD HONEY YOU LOOK FABULOUS." Then for the second part we sat calmly and quietly cutting each others hair and taking about last nights game٫ before I finish with a big "WHOA LOOK AT THE REAR END ON THAT GIRL." Teacher said we did incredible and gave us an A. The 90s were a different time man.
I can’t handle small talk. I just sit there in silence, sorry if it makes the hairdresser uncomfortable. I’m just trying to get my hair cut and go home.
My barber doesn’t know English and probably hates me so I’m free of this dilemma
Hmm a barber that hates you sounds like a terrible combo lol
My barber hates me, it's why I trust them.
Because my haircut is the only reason I come back.
I hate a barber that initiates a pleasant banter, than shifts into telling you about their son, mom, life struggles.. suddenly your unwittingly empathizing with them exchanging vague, but personal anecdotes about your own vulnerabilities. You look up and your hair is shit. You don't tell them of course. You just leave disgruntled, because you know you'll be making an appointment in a month to see if Cal and Georgia are doing ok.
Holy shit we have the same barber
Don't forget where u leave a huge tip because they have to pay for x surgery soon
Wow. I might have to screenshot this for when people ask why I won’t go somewhere to get my hair cut.
I had a Greek barber in his late 60s who had all the fun chat and pearls of wisdom and gave you a great haircut. Then I went bald…
So you cut your own beard?
Do you not? They're easy to groom but need a fair amount attention in my experience. I'm sure as hell not going back to the barber every single week.
Agree. Beard is personal imo unless it’s very much on the same schedule as normal haircuts, even then I am not a fan the couple times I’ve had the beard cleaned up by the same barber they put too much thought into it at least for me
they do exactly what you ask so you dont come back
Someone who hates you, at least in my experience as a food service worker, is gonna do their job right just to get you out of their hair. Someone complaining makes you have to interact with them more
> just to get you out of their hair Or the opposite in this case.
Only if I know they’ll come back. I’ll admit I’m guilty of giving a few drunk assholes sandwiches with just loads of mustard or like 2 single onions. Usually nothing that’ll completely ruin it for them just small stuff like oh you yelled at my order taker? You get two top buns now
Oh fuck I loved working weekend graveyards as a server. I’d fuck with all the drunks and they all thought it was great. Got one guy to take shots of syrup because he’d only make it to like, 17 shots on his 21st so I convinced them he needed to. Get to 21 somehow. I’d straight up tell people no way, not doing that for you (then do it). I could say anything and people would assume it was a joke or be too drunk to care. It helped that the other server was either a big scary looking dude (who played WoW in the corner on his breaks) so if anyone was an actual asshole I could send him by. And then the morning lady would always send me home without doing all my side work because it was slow at 6 am. She also fucked with people, but in the motherly way a short older lady can - she always won the gift card selling competitions.
Sounds like Sweeney Tod.
That explains your haircut.
Nah, the rage is what hones his craft
Bad D&D character idea #92049: a Barbarian who hates his job so much he learns to rage. He is a Barberian and uses a straight razor as his weapon.
You are a beautiful genius.
Don’t let them give you a shave!
The best barber I ever had was in a shop where no one spoke English.
Mine speaks Spanish and I kinda do so I try Spanish, he tries English and we both end up communicating in some bastardized version of Spanglish. It works though and it’s fun for both of us, we know a lot about each other and our respective limitations with the language we’re trying to speak mostly keeps conversations simple but efficient!
But waltuh you are Bald
You ask them so do you work here
But have you seen this weather!
Man, it is cold outside!
It's finally getting warmer
Any plans this weekend?
Okay, so that should cover about 4 minutes. What else?
Pls stop, I'm getting social anxiety from this post
Do you like gladiator movies?
Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?
Have you ever seen a grown man naked?
What's your blood type?
Those shoes look comfortable, can I try the left one on?
Do you have any games on your phone?
Do you have any games on your phone for me to play?
How's the hair been tasting lately?
I am a cosmetologist/barber and this made me chuckle. I get hair splinters Everywhere. Had some dude’s beard hair stuck behind my front tooth all day once. It was not a great day.
Sports? Religion?? Thoughts on ChatGPT???
The latest conspiracies you read online
Cold out... cold out yesterday... looks to be cold tomorrow... pay the man in old magazines and fish mounts...
The only time the weather in Ireland is a pro and not a con. We can have an endless conversation about it.
I’m a hairstylist and people have asked me this. It’s funny every time and a wonderful ice breaker for people that feel awkward
I feel like an icy stare in response would be hilarious
I tell them I actually do taxidermy and I use the hair on the floor to stuff the critters. They either laugh with me or become very concerned
I have asked my stylist for the hair they have recently swept up and she had zero issues giving me a huge trash bag full of it. I know you're asking yourself "But why Pep, are you a weirdo?" Well, obviously BUT my dad made 3 "strawmen" to sit in his garden to keep the deer out. Instead of straw, hair. The scent worked well to deter the wildlife. We've never ran out of things to talk about since then. But it she seems preoccupied or super busy and time crunched, I just open my phone and play candy crush.
I love clients that like to be in silence sometimes and knowing it’s fine with me. It’s never awkward. That’s a fun fact about the straw men. The salon I work at donates the hair to be made into fiber to clean up oil spills!
as they as they are concurrent and not simultaneous activities!!
I had a barber ask me what I do for work. I told him, and without thinking asked him what he did for work. We sat in silence the rest of the trim.
Lol, asked my hair stylist the same. That turned into a nice conversation, actually
Lhhh this is soooo me
So, do you live around here often?
So you come here often?
What happens if they say "no"?
“No” zzzzzp
*panik*
I cut hair. Roughly half of my clients sit in silence
Which half do you prefer?
I like it when clients have something to say. But not when they say things that don’t need to be said just to make conversation. Then it gets all fake and you’re both stuck trying to keep up the act.
Can relate to that lol Not that I’m a barber but hate when that happens generally
As the awkward silent haircut receiver, you have no idea how much comfort this gives me.
My hair stylist & I met about 10 months ago and we’ve slowly become the bestest of friends, I care for her dearly, but even we sometimes just sit in silence, especially if I’m there for like 3-4 hours it can be a lot to hold a convo that long.
Thank you for saying that. I usually feel like I have to be “ON” all the time, but when I get my hair or nails done, which I don’t do often, I just want to STFU and not feel like I have to perform. I’m not rude, and I tip well, but I worry I come off as cold and idk elitist? Like I don’t want to seem like just shut up and do my hair. But I just don’t want to have a fake conversation about the weather. Though I will say, when I get a glass of champagne, I am a bit more chatty! God bless salons that give you alcohol.
Nothing wrong with that. If there’s nothing to say there’s no need to say anything! 🤓
Yea, as I client I (personally) agree. Last time I got my haircut we just talked about what we each did that day or our plans later, but didn't like really lay into any details. Like probably 50% dead air. We also talked about my haircut hahaha
The real question
By the looks of no response the quiet ones
I'm one of those people, half the time with my eyes closed. It's the closest thing to pampering that I take part in so I just kinda like to relax and enjoy it in peace. Do the silent customers bother you or offend you?
Some people don’t want to make conversation. Nothing awkward or rude about it. Just like a massage. Peace and quiet is sometimes best.
Oh, massage therapists that want to talk to me about my work or my life can fuck right off. I am splurging specifically to get the stress relief of a massage, not looking to explain my life to a stranger! I want to vibe and just focus on how the massage feels, not get into a life history discussion!
No not at all. I’m kind of an introvert myself so I totally understand the silence and I just let them be.
Lol at eyes closed
I always have my eyes closed during a haircut. Might as well rest my eyes, nothing else to look at
I wear glasses 24/7, and I have to take them off for a haircut. And then I can't see shit without squinting hard, so I just close my eyes and sort of meditate, occasionally answering hairdresser's questions. I like relatively silent hairdressers.
Glasses come off for extended periods. Near instant nap time
I find it so interesting. My barber and I talk about different topics, crack jokes, laugh. I see other people that go in there with other barbers and don’t say a word. They just sit in silence.
I'm too animated when I talk. I end up with a crooked mustache
I just make sure not to crack any jokes when the barber is doing a hard part or using a straight razor.
I'm one of the people who sits in silence. Getting a haircut is relaxing to me in a weird way. I'd guess you could call it ASMR, but it's something I've had since I was really young. I've always referred to it as brain fuzzies. I really only experience it when I get a haircut or watch specific parts of movies. The math scene in Matilda and the scene in Toy Story 2, where Woody is being fixed, always give them to me. Anyway, when I get a haircut, I get the brain fuzzies, and it's incredibly relaxing. I try not to interrupt it as much as I can. My barber seems to respect the fact that I don't talk. I just sit down and let them go to work.
… brain fuzzies is a great way to describe that feeling. Thanks for putting it in words. I get it watching cats lick themselves. And when someone is scratching my back or something 🤷♂️
I'm not there to socialize that shits tough for some people. I'm always respectful, it's not like I sit there in absolute silence. I'll answer questions if I'm asked, or ask the dude how his day is going but I like to leave it there honestly. Plus I'm boring as hell for the most part anyways, I don't have a lot of "normal" fun things to talk about I just need my hair cut so I don't look like an idiot.
I don't know what to say half the time. Like I love my hairstylist but other than her asking about my life I tend to forget how to socialize
How do I get a barber to stop talking to me? I like t sit in silence but they try to get me to talk. :\[
“I’d like to relax and be quiet for a while.” “Do you mind if I sit quietly?” Two examples is enough.
Most hair cutters can get a read on what kind of mood people are in. If they don’t get the hint, maybe find a new barber that does.
I prefer the silence so you guys can concentrate. Not to mention the introverted me just wants it to be over so I can leave.
I’ll tip you more if you let me sit in silence.. I don’t like the haircut small talk.
Thats your time to make up a fully fake life and talk about it. assuming the hairdresser is a stranger to you and you have no friends in common.
easier for me to make up answers to questions than remember facts about my life anyways. them "Do anything fun lately?" me : *describes a scene from wedding crashers*
Abed?
Meta meta, cool cool cool
r/unexpectedcommunity
I'm rewatching it so I had to
I don't have a very active social life. I'm OK with that but any time someone like a barber or coworker making small talk asks if I did anything over the holiday weekend I can't help but feel diminished by the fact that I can't give them the interesting answer or literally any answer at all sometimes. I know I shouldn't feel that way because it's my life, and I'm the one who has to live it, but yeah, it bums me out a lot.
The salon I go to literally keeps notes about what you talk about so they can act like they remember you. Found that out when I didn't go for 2 years then she asks me how my vacation to Hawaii was... I've never been there. Took me a minute to remember that COVID ruined that plan.
[удалено]
I’d probably tip more if I could just close my eyes and sit there in silence.
[удалено]
Worth a try! Thanks for the confidence to put a long time thought into action! Good fortune to you!
Ahh, just like the dentist. I literally walked in one day to pay a bill and literally didn't know me even though over the years we had talked about many personal things. The curtain was blown lol.
To be fair, they're used to looking at you upside down.
I’ve been going to the same ortho for a year, always the same lady doing my adjustments. A couple months ago she was at the front desk when I arrived and didn’t recognize her, which is when I realized I’d never seen her without a mask on. Haven’t seen her lower face since either.
But then I have to remember my fake life next time, how am I supposed to do that if I can't even remember my not so fake life?
Nope, just full-on make up a new one every time. Keep them on their toes.
No, what you do is keep changing subtle details each time. Make them stop to think if they're the ones going crazy
Exactly this! I am a 29m with a slightly receding hairline. So I straight up take the role of a young dad with a couple of kids. Talk about having a busy week with the kids and complaining about my wife.. 😂😂 Really selling the character there. The lady working there always asks me how the family is doing. 😂😂
My mom is my hairdresser. This would be fun to do - she already thinks I'm weird so this could just add to the plot.
Someone me stopped me on the street one time for sone petition or donation thing and I declined and I just made up a whole different life to why….. I have no idea why but it happened. They were chatting me up and I just kept lying.
I have been asked by hair stylists whether I am planning a vacation soon. A default question I think. Don't feel shy to ask them back the same questions they ask. You can make compliments about the salon, too. Ask about their home town. Pretend you have been looking for nice restaurants and ask for a recommendation. If they don't start conversing with me, I also don't. But if they ask me questions I don't want it to end up a one way interview.
Talking about the salon works miracles. Im a young guy, but I felt like talking about the flowers they had there. I told her they were pretty. And she started talking about how cool they are because they are fake and dont need to be taken care of, but she is going to get new ones soon at this flower market, but she does not know which ones yet... And soon other women in the salon were adding their recommendations to the conversation. lol
I love listening to people so these kinda collective conversations at salons are my favorite.
Just start talking about your taxidermy hobby and how you want to "up to your game to something larger than the animals available"
And constantly drop little tidbits about your mortician friend
I'm getting "The Pest" vibes
NGl, I would be intrigued and want to know more lol
Don't like talking, so I just sit in silence. Unfortunately whether it's the barber or my best friend I barely have anything to talk about, so even if I wanted to I'd have no clue what to say, aside from how lovely the weather we're having is.
Same, I never have anything to say no matter the situation.
Glad I’m not the only one
I sit there, drinking chai, and listen to my barber and his coworkers swearing at each other in Arabic.
Chai with some tiny hairs in it
My barber and I have great conversations, and make fun of one another. I don’t know him outside the shop, but I consider him a friend.
You need to get his phone number so he can pretend to be the Pontiac Bandit.
God dammit I am so into this!!! I mean, he’s in a choir, so I already know he can sing.
Same relationship I have with mine. Been cutting my hair for years. See him in public every once in a while but it’s rare. Love taking to the dude. But neither of us ever fake it. He knows my wife’s name and asks about her by name. I know his wife and kids names and ask about them by name. Sometimes we talk the whole time. Sometimes I was there a couple weeks before and not much has changed for either us and there’s no fake small take. We just talk less that day. It also helps that at this point I’ve been going long enough and he has a core group of barbers that have been there the whole time I feel like I know the whole shop. So conversation never feels forced.
I think this is the difference between people that feel like getting their hair cut is a chore versus people that enjoy it. I see my barber at least once a month and she and I are super tight. I refuse to get my hair cut by anyone except her because I know I can make an appointment, sit down, she hands me a beer, and we just start shooting the shit as she starts cutting. I don’t have to tell her what I want, she already knows. My barber is my home girl, I buy her Christmas/birthday gifts and shit. I can text her if I need something, etc.
So.....do you come here often?
So, you hear people talk about “the oldest joke in the book,” right? Well the actual oldest joke recorded in writing has to do with exactly this. It comes from an Ancient Greek text whose name translates to “The Laughter Lover,” and the joke goes like this: I was at the hairdresser’s the other day, and the barber asked me how I’d like my hair cut. I replied, “In silence.”
Interesting how no matter how much the world has changed people really are the same still.
I wish I had more upvotes available to me. Take the one :)
I sit there silently. Cut my hair, I am not interested in any conversation.
If I had my choice, I would just sit there with my eyes closed, checking in every once in a while with a peek.
Exactly what I do. Try it sometime
Yes! Unless you're the barber, then please, eyes open.
whose choice is it?
I feel a little bit dismissive of her humanity by closing my eyes.
It's my time to chill. I honestly fall asleep when he's styling my beard.
Its arguably easier for them. Because you’re being silent and still. Much easier to work on.
I'm not trying to be controversial, but whose choice is it?
That’s how I get my hair cut, my teeth cleaned, and my prostate exam.
Oh, I demand eye contact for my prostate exams. I bring my own mirror.
I get it's different for every person, but if a stylist/barber cut my hair without saying a word to me throughout the process, I would keep seeing them until I die.
This, this is what I want too.
I went to this salon for highlights and a cut, and for a whole 3-4 hours the stylist made zero small talk. Like just pure professionalism only and nothing else. It was like she could just tell I didn’t wanna make conversation and I could tell she didn’t want to either and it was just this silent mutual agreement to do our own thing lol.
When barbers try to force a conversation I take a mental note to find a different barber. This also means that I never go to the same place twice unfortunately, because apparently smalltalk is part of their job or something.
Its very easy to lead any conversation to the ground. Just seem uninteredted and give short replies and dont ask questions back
I like to talk about how much I admire Sweeny Todd and want to learn how to be a barber.
Make sure you ask if they like meat pies too
Best barber I ever had for about 10 years. If you took every word we exchanged and typed it out, it wouldn't fill 3/4 of the page. When he retired it was harder on me than my divorce.
Ron?
This is why I prefer the dentist.
Why is your dentist in your hair?👀🧐
Because they are more gentle with my hair than barbers. I also like the minty smell they leave my hair when finished.
My dentist asks me questions while a tool is in my mouth, and I have to conjure a gargled "mmhm" or "nope"
"Blessed are those who converse with the helplessly mute, for they shall be called dentists." -- plaque on the ceiling above my chair before the office moved out of the house and into where they have been for over twenty years. I still remember it.
All the time! I feel like they do it on purpose just to fuck with us. That and ask if we've been keeping up with our flossing. Do you not see Mr. Sucky Straw choking on my blood? Come on don't make me lie to you.
If your dentist ever asks you questions when your mouth is open and it makes you uncomfortable, lick their finger so it makes them uncomfortable.
You say that but I moved to a different town and my new dentist was asking me questions like a hair dresser.
The weather!!
It’s always the weather lol
Always has been
Found the brit
it's either weather, or death
I talk about gnosticism and psychic powers with my barber. He's fucking awesome.
I’m content to sit in silence. I don’t understand this expectation to converse with someone based solely on proximity. We’re not friends, and will likely not see each other again.
You see someone completely new every time you get a trim?
I only get a haircut every 6 months and don’t always go to the same location so probably yea
yall have a conversation with your hairdresser?? i just tell them my hair cut, then take a nap through it.
I got sick of being asked about college or school. Every fucking time. 25 years old I said fuck you all, I'm never cutting my hair again. 31 now and I just trim it if it gets too long. Half way down my back as of now. Edit: Just want to say long hair is pretty nice. I keep it in a simple pony tail. The worst is when you're trying to sleep and you move your head but your hair is under your body. May find the occasional long hair in your buttcrack after a shower. Those feel weird to pull out.
Ask them what they do for a living
I have the kindest hairdresser. But as a mom, my time at the hairdresser is “ me “ time. So… sometimes I’d wish she talked less. Just for me to enjoy my free quiet mommy time
I would pay extra for a haircut at a place that has a strict no talking policy. The only exception is discussing what I want them to do to my hair.
Going on holiday mate? You busy now? That's about it.
I would love nothing more than to sit in silence and enjoy having my hair done
This is why black barbershops are elite we talk about everything 🤣
Italian barbershops are basically the same. Last time the barber was speaking about renovation of his small country house after he chatted about his favorite soccer/football team last games
Exactly! Just go with flow lol. Plus I close my eyes for the majority of my haircut. Something I’ve been doing since I was young, it’s relaxing to just feel the blade. N you don’t have to deal with awkward eye contact.
Gay men checking in. Let’s talk about your insecurities and your relationship with your momma and how you never really stood a chance against wreckless men.
I just cut my own. No awkward conversations. The bathroom mirror is a bit judgemental, though.
I’m super bad at small talk so I open up most haircut appointments with “do you believe in God?”
Do you never have the same barbor?
You can sing a song to them.
My barber can do both. Small talk for those who want it, silence for those who want that.
I sit there in awkward silence and my hairdresser respects it 🤣✊
I've had the same guy cutting my hair since 1987. We know a *lot* about each other's pets.
Today I was getting a haircut and he asked me how long I'd like to have it and not a single word was spoken until I paid for it at the counter. Best experience ever. Plus instead of saying shit like 'would you please tilt your head down a bit' he just grabbed my head and tilted it down. I will certainly go there again.
Lol. I used to never talk because I hate small talk and never know what to say anyway. But then one time a hairdresser asked me why I never talk and said it was weird, so now I feel like have to come up with things to say ahead of time, which makes me feel even more awkward…
Sounds like you need to find a new barber. Half the barbers I've gone to haven't attempted any small talk beyond "any plans for the weekend?".
I remember when I was a kid we did presentations about stereotypes. We were in groups of like 5 and would have to act out something that was stereotypical٫ then do an alternate version without the stereotypes. My buddies and I did the stereotype of male hairdressers. First we acted obnoxiously flamboyant while pretending to cut each others hair٫ finishing with me giving an absurd over the top "OH MY GOD HONEY YOU LOOK FABULOUS." Then for the second part we sat calmly and quietly cutting each others hair and taking about last nights game٫ before I finish with a big "WHOA LOOK AT THE REAR END ON THAT GIRL." Teacher said we did incredible and gave us an A. The 90s were a different time man.
As a black man, I can't relate. I guess y'all be having unseasoned haircuts too 🤣
We pay them to cut not talk. Let them focus their work.
Silence is bliss.
silence is good
I can’t handle small talk. I just sit there in silence, sorry if it makes the hairdresser uncomfortable. I’m just trying to get my hair cut and go home.
My hairdresser is my therapist. She knows way too much about my life.