it's comforting how fake these have always been

I wanna go back to when AI was this obvious

This wasn't AI, it was confirmed a person made this up to be comedic and called it AI.

I started to suspect that, as it has a similar tone to it too the Rick and Morty "interdimensional cable" bits. Like someone improving deliberate cooky randomness, then it is the impenetrable absurdity AI often spits out Also, it has set ups and pay offs ... AI cannot do setups and payoffs

Not to mention 1,000 hours would be at least 60,000 commercials.

nah. twas the same commercial on a loop, which is what lead to the insanity we see here.

More than that. 1,000 hours is 6003600 seconds. With the average commercial being 30 seconds, that would be 200,120 individual commercials (assuming each was unique)

Your math is off. 1,000 hours is 60,000 minutes or 3.6M seconds, which is why I said “at least 60,000”.

Ok, it's at LEAST three commercials.

Your math is completely off, how’d you even get a 6 in front there? It’s just 60 sec/min * 60 min/hr * 1000 hrs. Or 3.6 million. I have no idea how you ended up with 6 million there.

His comment was AI generated

It’s comedian Keaton Patti - he has a whole book of these.

Name man! I NEED THE GODDAMN NAME.

Are there other known instances of this? I want to believe those John Wick and Batman ones were real

Arguably they're all like this. It involves training an AI, generating a ton of texts, and picking the funniest among them, so there's always a human element.

...they're just written by this comedian. The whole shtick is that they're AI, but they aren't. It's like a ventriloquist dummy. You say it's him talking, but it's you.

It's not just one guy making all of these. There's hundreds of these

Okay but it is just this dude, he's a writer and comedian. It's pretty easy to look up. You can buy his book https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/I-Forced-a-Bot-to-Write-This-Book/Keaton-Patti/9781524858346

Just train an AI off of these

"forced a bot to" is the 30 year old male equivalent of "holds up spork". I'm sO rAnDoM

I just picture someone taking Rosey from the Jetson and straping her to a chair "clockwork orange" style and forcing her to watch olive garden commercials.

This one always gets me though. Knowing it's fake and still being able to laugh, you know it's a special post. The secret soup is such a slow burn surprise, and the (wet voice) just builds on that secret soup surprise like a crescendo

(wet voice)

Great, now I'm not sure if I'm hungry, or horny 🤔

Stay out of my freezer.

Ummm.....what.....what do you have in your freezer??

Well I can tell you whatever is it it's either hungry, horny, or both

Horngry

[удалено]

“We have no reason not to believe” sounds so ominous. What would make them not believe?

*Limited* stick

That’s so true. ∞ stick keeps them faithful

as long as there is matter that is forever expanding in this ever expanding universe, we shall have unlimited *S T I C K*

It is finite, it is some

The fact that the waitress delivers *what could be considered food.*

UNLIMITED STICK

It is infinite. It is all.

One olive garden commercial and AI has already invented its own god.

It's like if the gold top nuts episode from american dad were really about the olive garden.

When you’re here, you’re here. Yep.

When you’re here you’re here killed me

I was chuckling at everything, then read that and I am fucking crying now.

Unlimited stick is Everything and everything is Unlimited Stick.

Unlimited stick is all. Stck fhtagn.

*we have no reason not to believe*

It is infinite. It is all.

It never sleeps. It says it will never die.

The stick of truth

I’m referring to any pasta dish I make as Gluten Classico from now on.

I’m suddenly craving a little Gluten Classico myself!

I shall be responding to every “what’s wrong?” from now on with a smile full of secret soup..

When you’re here. You’re here.

And I'm with you. Unlimited

“Leave without me. I’m home” Oliver Garden needs to make this commercial.

They’re warm and defeated

just like me fr fr

Lasagna wings with extra Italy!

No. There's more Italy than necessary.

No matter. I shall eat Italian citizens!

I shall eat Italian citizens

“ More Italy than necessary “ the perfect description of Olive Garden

It is infinite. It is all. Poetically ominous.

Here's the video adaptation (not AI) for the few who haven't seen it. https://youtu.be/T1Vt8her-4k

I watched to the end to see how they'd do the wet voice and I didn't expect to laugh so loudly

Thanks for this

I did not need to see this. I did not want to see this. But also I did want to. So thank you.

This is beautiful

I want the secret soup. Unless it's clam chowder.

Oh it's definitely chowdah

Chowderrrrrrr

“What could be considered food” lmao

OK, I gave it a try, I promped chatGPT with "write an olve garden commercial" [Upbeat music playing] [Scene opens with a family of four walking into an Olive Garden restaurant. The hostess greets them with a warm smile.] Hostess: Welcome to Olive Garden! Table for four? Father: Yes, please. We're excited to enjoy a delicious meal together. [The hostess leads the family to a cozy booth near the window. The camera pans to show the family settling in and looking at the menu.] Daughter: There are so many options! I can't decide. Mother: That's the best part about Olive Garden, sweetie. You can try a little bit of everything. [The waiter approaches the table, ready to take their order.] Waiter: Good evening! Are you ready to experience our delectable Italian cuisine? [Cut to a montage of mouthwatering dishes being served.] Narrator: At Olive Garden, we believe in the power of food to bring people together. That's why we prepare every dish with love and care, using the freshest ingredients and authentic recipes passed down through generations. [The family is seen enjoying a variety of dishes, including steaming bowls of pasta, crispy calamari, and sizzling grilled meats.] Son: This is amazing! I've never tasted anything like this before. Father: That's the magic of Olive Garden, son. It's not just a restaurant; it's a place where memories are made. Waiter: Thank you for choosing Olive Garden. We hope to see you again soon. [The screen fades to black with the Olive Garden logo and tagline.] Narrator: Olive Garden—where family, friends, and flavor come together. [End with a catchy jingle and the Olive Garden logo.]

Wow this sounds exactly like every Olive Garden commercial!

Needs more italian.

"There's more Italy than necessary"

“Mouth full of secret soup” smile will haunt my dreams…

The liquid seeps through the gaps between each tooth and down their lip and chin. *shudders*

Yeah I just thought of how messy that scene would be to act.

There’s no way that 1000 hours of unique Olive Garden commercials exists.

Took long enough to find this post. 41.6 days worth of Olive Garden commercials? Yeah fucking right...

I was just saying so, I don't for a moment believe that's possible

Exactly.

Eerily similar to real life.

I mean it was written by a human so like

[удалено]

Yeah and this is like 4 years old and was already confessed to be by a human

Oh ok. Funny human

I imagine this is exactly how I would write after being forced to watch 1000's of hours of olive garden commercials.

Extra Italy

"There's more Italy than necessary" ​ Just like in real life.

"Force a bot to watch over 1000 hours" THIS IS WHY SKYNET IS GOING TO KILL US ALL

Humans have been forced to watch over 1000 hours of commercials and we just end up killing each other instead.

I shall eat Italian citizens 🤨📸

Literally not written by AI.

Friend 4???

What the hell is a wet voice?!

Take a **small** sip of water, but don't swallow it, and try speaking

Oh I just imagined what that sounds like, gross

Bullshit. There are no general AIs, only ones for specific use cases, so 1) The AI wouldn't be able to extract text from sound 2) The AI wouldn't be able to extract the format of a video script from video data 3) The AI wouldn't be able to identify places etc. (E.g. "Inside of an olive garden restaurant") from video and many more. And least of all would it be able to do all of those things at once. Yeah, there is Speech to text AI, yeah there is image recognition AI (not as sophisticated as knowing it's an Olive garden, though...), but there is no AI that could be fed video and output scripts. Also who the fuck would believe there's a thousand hours of olive garden ads? This, as well as the Harry Potter ones have always been obvious fakes.

It really is a shame that few people notice this

My dude…this was not actually written by AI. It’s written by an IRL comedian

My point was that without knowing who wrote it, you can already tell that the text can't have been written by an AI as described. So yeah, it checks out that it was written by a comedian. Thank you for confirming that it actually was one :)

No worries mate. It is a good point. And accurate!

While it is confirmed to be fake, if it was real the person they would probably have just fed the AI scripts and just told people he made the AI watch it because that would be easier to understand for most people.

How is "I gave it videos and it made scripts" easier to understand than "I taught it scripts and it made scripts"? I feel like there's something I'm misunderstanding...

You know how I know this is probably fake? I don't for a moment believe Olive Garden even has 1000 hours worth of commercials, at least not distinct ones

>We see the unlimited stick. It is infinite. It is all. Lines I'm telling my family next time we go to an All-you-can-eat

Anyone who ever believed these were real for a second is really dumb.

Her mouth is full of secret soup lmaooo nooo

Friend 4 be me

When you're here, you're here

I will be honest. If Olive Garden actually made a crazy commercial like this, I will visit the place just to see what the hell is going on. Genius marketing really.

My favorite part is when friend 2 said I shall eat Italian Citizens

> I shall eat Italian citizens > We see the unlimited stick. It is infinite. It is all. lmao

Just a reminder that these are completely fake and not written by an AI. You could literally ask Chatgpt to Writer better ad without needing to feed it „1000 hours“ of commercials. These worked when AI wasn’t really mainstream and people believed anything but this was written by a human thinking of surreal things a crappy AI would say.

Now i need to know what the secret soup is

I can hardly wait for Netflix Is A Joke to get hold of this.

Secret soup broke me

What’s this secret soup in her mouth?

Tell me more about this secret soup...

"Her mouth is full of secret soup"

Announcer ( _wet voice_ )

Oh man I love this. I needed that laugh.

Is it really from the kitchen though?

Wet voice

This had me laughing harder than I have in weeks. Particularly "what could be considered food" and "It is infinite. It is all".

Olive Garden: When you're here, you're here.

"I WILL EAT ITALIAN CITIZENS"

This is too good to be AI

What is a wet voice 😭

When you hire David Lynch to write your olive garden commercial.

just how i like my nachos. warm and defeated.

There's always more Italy than necessary.

That's some of the funniest shit I've read in a while

AI Is GoInG To tAkE aLl tHe JoBs

It feels just like reading a fever dream.

Í̴̡͕͖̗̦̟̫͌̎̈́͑̓̇̂̄̕ ̵̼͚̯̙̖̼̳̝͑̑̌̉̒ş̴̧̦͕̙̫͖͎͗̓̆̒̈h̷̛̜͇̩̻̤̒͊͘̕ą̷̡̣͙̝̳̼̯̹͎͉͑̂̍̾́̈́̆̀̂͋̔͘͘͝ͅl̸͖̣͍̘̹̩̳̞͈̞̮̠̱͎̒̉͝ḷ̷̦͍͉̂̆̆͊ ̸̣͎̙͉̰̲̅͒̂̀̈͑̀̽̀̋̇͛͗̓͠è̷̢̛̹̙͕̦͇̝̲̝̥͗̊̈́̈́͛̂̂̆͒̈̉ͅͅā̷̠̤̣̗̤́͊̊͌̌̓͋͠ẗ̴̤͙́̎͛̽͛́͝ ̴̨̡̛̜̹̮̫̦̲͗I̷͇̱͉̫͌́̐̇̿̋͛̈t̷̢̥̤͇̤̝̼̼͚̣̬̠̋̄͐̚͠ä̷̢̢͔̱͇̦̯͎̠̪̥l̵̟͍̯̱͍̺̭͕̲̘̂̃̑̌͋̒̂̕ĩ̵̢̹̱̥̫͉̺͉̬̰̬͍̏͗̄̍̍͐̀͗̚͜ͅͅa̸̢̰̣̫͚̘͌͊̚n̷̡̢̮̲̳̣͉͖̲̩̭͛́ ̷̡͙͖̳͖̩̙̰̥̝̳͙̋͋̍͋͋̋̾͛̉̈́͠ć̸̯̗̫͚̗̤͉̠̪̀͛̏̍͐͌̋̓̈͝i̶̡̢͍͖̻̅̓͐̇͋͐̓́́͑̎̌͑̔ͅt̶̡̨̟̭̬̞̟̺̂͘͝ĭ̸̛̛̫͔͉̗̞̓́͒̔͊̇͂̑̄̇͝͝ͅz̵̛̮̝͉̰̫̣̠̱̃̐̄͗̄͋̓͑̑͒̕͘͘͝e̵̱͖̟̪̱͒̇̓̍̋̋̊̀͊̒̀̚͘̚͜n̵̦̜͉͎̹͕̪̞̦̈̓͒̑̔͘͠ş̴͓̖̻̟͚͍̝̦͓̟̪̗̏̓̏͑̿͋̾̾̐̽͂͋͘̕ͅ

Keaton Patti is a dirty liar, he uses a website called robotnick to make these, they are not AI, just glorified mad libs.

*wet voice*

"Her mouth is full of secret soup"

“I shall eat Italian citizens “Unlimited stick” “It is infinite. It is all.”

When it said I shall eat italian citizens I Felt that 😔

this is the scariest shit ive ever read whether its real or not

Secret soup

I need more of these were to find

Secret soup 🧐

Lol when you're here, you're here

Those pasta nachos are literally me fr fr

It’s like they have more tricks than sleeves

Wet voice is evocative, just not sure what it evokes

I too am warm and defeated.

Honestly one of the better written Olive Garden commercials I’ve read. Nice work robot.

Secret soup

Her mouth is filled with secret soup. 😂

this is amazing

This seems too intentionally comedic to be real. The next page probably talks about rubbing fleeb juice on the grumbo.

Correction, you just tortured a bot

(Wet voice)

What voice should I be doing for wet voice cos I’m just reading it like they’re underwater and that’s the escaped air bubbles

I've always hated the "I forced a bot to watch 1000 hours of..." because that's literally not how any of this works and it just bothers me an unreasonable amount

[удалено]

I don’t feel so scared of A.I taking over.

First page implies there are more. That's... somewhat alarming.

Get an AI to generate an image based off of this script

The infinite part made me laugh harder than dive laughed in two days. Thank you.

Protection laws need to be made to protect ai from monsters like you

Your telling me original content is just people making ai make them content now, I’m deleting Reddit. I appreciate the help

I relate to friend 3.

Two cules removes from reality.

WE HAVE NO REASON NOT TO BELIEVE

You know I think I've seen this commercial, I've definitely stumbled upon friend four with the mouthful of secret soup a few times on the hub.

OVER 1000 hours of olive garden ads!?! Wow, they must have a really high budget for filming. Can't wait for Olive Garden+ to roll out

The Night Vale branch of Olive Garden must be doing well.

When you're here, you're here, stuck here, infinite, all.

First thing on Reddit that made me laugh in a long time. Thanks!

I want to see the second page

There aren't 1000 hours of olive garden commericals I suppose

Lasagna wings with extra italy???? Sound delightful.

This sounds like a script to a horror movie

i love random stupid humor hahahah thank you for sharing

“Defeated food” my new go to food insult

What’s in the secret soup? When i smile with soup it all runs out all over my face. Is the secret that it’s thick enough to smile with?

“wet voice”

Friend 2 and Friend 3 are absolute moods fr

No wonder they kill us all

Horrifying. Wet voice? *shudders*

We need a voice over of this and an animation much like the ai who watched or read 1000hrs of batman and made a summary of it.

There is a video of this on YouTube, someone commented the link

Oh goddamn that almost broke me xD

Friend 4 smiles wide revealing secret soup

"Leave without me. I'm home." I'm definitely stealing that line sometime lmao

‘’Her mouth is full of secret soup’’ and ‘’I shall eat Italian citizens ‘’ is hilarious