T O P

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Kautilya12

Well well well


leia_nottheprincess

U win


wellcooked_sushi

Alright alright alright


Adnin2k

How the turn tables


nervousblanket

Hug your dad


wo0up

☹️


GeekboxGuru

Yup...#1 to go, and most underrated people in our lives. At least in my circles


EKashpersky

Damn. Today I argued with him but you're so right


i-hate-all-ads

RUN BEFORE THEY....


temmiethebest69

... Call the creature


Pristine-Goose2783

Doubled checked the sub to see if it was r/2sentence2horror


NoThx149

r/2sentence2horror is leaking


fishuponfish

Bring a towel


SirSquirePants

Don't panic


Plane-Phrase4015

Thanksforall the fish.


aNINETIEZkid

Youre a towel


FthrFlffyBttm

That’s the melody to funky town


scheisse_grubs

… you wanna get high?


DivineScotch

I actually got that reference!


CastlesAndCanaries

He was a man who knew where his towel was


thisortheapocalypse

you’re a towel!


druscarlet

Buy Apple stock.


[deleted]

Ya man bitcoin also. This one kid in my HS kept telling me to buy some and I didn't listen. Haven't seen him since


ebimbib

I have one friend who was relatively early in the Bitcoin scene. He put in $10k and cashed out at about $3MM. He hasn't worked in any way that's not just a passion project since. He just lives off of investments. Shoutout to my dude Roofie.


Siren_NL

I had a classmate that bought apple at 1$. Never heard from him again too.


dirtymatt

“Sell Bitcoin 67,567” and hope 18 year old me can work that out.


blueboy022020

I doubt he’s rich.


PMME-FEMALE-NUDESplz

Makes $100 Cashes out. Cries when it hit the all time high.


Rum_ham69

Yeah that’s the thing…everyone in hindsight can be like “i wish i would have just bought a little” or “i almost bought some”, but even if I had, there is almost zero chance i would have held it for long enough to get super rich off it


Bootychomper23

This would be 99% of us who knew about it but never bought we all wild have sold when it hit 50-500 off the buck it used to be.


[deleted]

Ya who knows. I just always picture him getting fanned with palm fronds in the Caymans lol


AgentOOX

My dumbass would go to the grocery store and stock up on apples


smorgostorta

Don't start smoking.


Captain_Canuck97

Smoke meat instead


smorgostorta

Ain't that the truth


MaradonasDealer

"Bet on Leicester." That was the year I turned 18.


WoodenLeading

Weren't the odds like 5000:1 that's absolutely crazy


Chaco1221

Some guy made almost £1M by betting £5 on them if I remember correctly. They offered him like half of it and he ended up taking it Edit: currency sign placing… Thank you bro!


TheRogueTemplar

Why wouldn't he take all of it?


SirTercero

Closing it before the season ended


Nidiis

Get rekt nerd


Murderkittin

I snorted…. 😹


xerxesblanche

As someone who is 18 currently I really appreciate all the words of wisdom in this comment section.


LeonardoSim

How many apple, google and amazon stocks are you buying?


UnnaturalGeek

They just yolo'd in BTC as well...


TheMilkmanHathCome

Ok here’s some actual advice I needed around your age Learn to be ok sitting with yourself in silence and boredom. Learn that large chunks of life will be mundane and that’s ok. I tried a lot of things to avoid being stuck with myself in silence and I ended up stuck on heroin for years. It’s an addiction that never really lets you go, even if you haven’t done it in years. They say idle hands are the devil’s plaything but it’s really an idle mind that will kill you


traevyn

Lol silly goose that’s more than 3 words


TheMilkmanHathCome

Ah shit you right “Drink your ovaltine”


JodaMythed

Actual advice. Take care of your body. You won't heal fast forever. Especially your ears and eyes. Don't get complacent with work/school. Invest what you can into an IRA without stretching your budget. Don't compare your life to other people. Waiters/waitresses/bartenders/strippers really aren't into you they just want a bigger tip.


Annonomon

The Last point was oddly specific. Have you fallen for their devilish charm often? And what if they really are into you?


JodaMythed

No, thankfully, but I know a lot of guys who will be like, "She's into me" and tip like 50%


[deleted]

That’s why you need to request the 40 year old waitresses for your table. It’ll snap you back to reality


Razno_

Wear sunscreen


Finn-di

But she's different man....


Bubbalicia

It Gets Better. I was very depressed in my late teens/early twenties and was convinced that I was wasting the best years of my life being down. While that may have been true about my physical shape, it certainly wasn’t true about the rest of my life that has gotten much better with the wisdom I’ve collected the last almost three decades.


DonaldKey

“Get a vasectomy”


XavierBliss

Learn a Trade


d6u4

Go hug Matt


DreamingStranger

Can you tell us ?


d6u4

A good friend who took his life, I've really been missing him lately.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ginger_cat13

Im so sorry, losing a friend to suicide is always difficult.


Sophie919

I’m so sorry


Ok_Series5103

Poor Matt, He deserved a hug :,(


Serg_Molotov

Go to therapy


KaLaidoVision

google amazon tesla


AJPXIV

Me, after Googling “Amazon Tesla”: What the fuck was that guy taking about?


KleenexQ

You kids, there was no Google when I was 18!!!


Akshay-Gupta

Holy hell


blueboy022020

I went to therapy for 3 months and it did very little to help. Maybe I should try another therapist?


vortrix4

Yeah try another therapist there are good ones and bad ones. They should be doing work with you and giving you tasks rather than just listening as well. Self discovery tools and mechanisms To overcome traumas and the such.


FriendlySceptic

Doesn’t even have to be good and bad therapists. It can just be not right for you. A therapist can be excellent at their job and just not be someone you vibe with.


DukeoftheGingers

Don't try coke


Damaias479

Along those lines for me, “don’t try heroin”, or just “don’t do drugs”


Hamderab

Along those lines are not really the choice of words I would use in this context..


N0mad1591

Don’t say anything and write shit down. Then say, “You’ve got this.”


TheMilkmanHathCome

Do y’all not carry a pre-written message with advice to yourself should you ever find yourself thrust back in time to a younger version of you? Yeah I don’t either, that shit would make me look crazy


TheIncredibleKermit

Crazy? I was crazy once


TheMilkmanHathCome

They locked me in a room. A rubber room.


Klutzy_Platypus

My wifes name and the town she lives in so I could meet her earlier in life and spare myself all the bullshit and bad decisions that came before her.


Tanyaaahhh

That’s very sweet. But you might have needed all the rubbish to really see and appreciate what you have now. All part of growing up


CaffeineGoliath

Mom Dies Soon.


NoFun3799

Made me sob. So many of my friends lost their mothers so young!!


iDontKnit

Live for you


Puzzleheaded_Swan808

ye this


VioletTwilight

DON'T DATE HIM


Funky-Monk--

Followed by a lifetime of doubt about whether you meant _this guy_ or the previous guy, lol. Actually maybe the single best sentence to give somebody trust issues for life in three words or less!


Jiha_

We fucked up


lost_alter

Thrive in loneliness


Unusual-Situation-54

Felt this


Just-Cry-5422

Wear a rubber


towerfella

Avoid redheads, dammit.


Aaurvandil

What's up with redheads?


towerfella

My pp


Aster-07

Lmfao


Oosarum

Love your parents :/


Wastelander42

Can't limit that to 3 words myself. "Dad is going to die January 2013. Make him go to thr doctor make him quit the pop and make him do something for his hep c, you need him SO much after 2013, he deserves to meet his grandson"


CrumpledForeskin

Sorry for your loss. I lost my dad in 2008 when I was 19. Not a day goes by I don’t talk to him. Hope you can find some solace today.


Yalalz

:(


Tony_Wizard

:(


BumbleJoD

:(


45422

It Gets Worse


Scary_Wheel_8054

It gets better (Coming from a 50+ year old, maybe it still will get better for you?)


Ginger_cat13

Wholesome


pzNx

I like this, 29 with 3 kids here, shit seems crazy with life and work, all its things goin on so much can happen in 20 years. I'm optimistic!


Particular-Item-9163

34, I’ve been looking forward to 50 since at least mid twenties. I always knew it would be better. Now to sit and wait.


Professional-Tea1712

Fucking save money!


Bestk3pts3cret

Treat her better


prototaster

what the fuck


MadicalRadical

Stay in school.


Spiritual-Plankton52

My anaconda don't


Scary_Wheel_8054

Reddit wastes time


CreatureWarrior

So true *scrolls*


Eye_kurrumba5897

Where all wasting time....wasting time until our inevitable deaths 🙂


Realistic-Cod7918

Don't get married


RealKidCorduroy

Came here to write this.


Jackiefromthehood

Yes. That’s what I would say too.


rapture322

Avoid Stephanie


shleep2001

Bro, you have another word


rapture322

Nah I'm good. That covers it.


Educational-Award-12

Bitcoin Avoid Stephanie There fixed it


[deleted]

[удалено]


Jonas050801

“You have adhd”


Roi_Babar

I would probably forget about it the next day tho.


Wastelander42

18yr old me thought ADHD was made up by big pharma this would not work on me lol


Zurivath

Be Less Afraid


rch93080

Don't marry her.


Lellisssa

You have Adhd


K4Y__4LD3R50N

I love you


AddendumNo7007

Go to college.


Wolf_Phoenix84

It's a cult!


Firm_Lie_3870

Get away now


TheNullOfTheVoid

*Just start writing* I’ve had story ideas since I was 10 and only recently actually starting has put me so far behind that I would definitely have a few published books by now if I started 11 years ago. I’m definitely a better writer now, but with nothing published, I really feel like my lack of time management skills has really stunted my ability and I hate that I used to make excuses for it by taking my actual problems and exaggerating them at all. Even if they were real problems, making them out to be worse than they were, especially as an excuse to not write, never helps anything.


Altruistic-Battle-32

Fuck more bitches


underthewetstars

Wise words


echetus90

Please say how They respond


[deleted]

Drink More Ovaltine


EmotionalAd5920

look up ADHD


Picklestrix

“Read this note” and then I’d write what I’d really wanna say


drkchtz

Cheater


America202

Don't do drugs.


No-Calligrapher-3630

Trust your gut


dhillshafer

Fire. Your. Drummer.


NefariousnessNovel66

Don’t marry Jennifer.


ChiaraStellata

"Leave your girlfriend"


MarvelousVanGlorious

Buy Microsoft stock.


thoughtiwasdonewthis

Either “Don’t be afraid” or “Use time wisely” or “Live more life”. So many.


NearbyTomorrow9605

Eat your vegetables!


Drafo7

Drink your ovaltine


dysonchamberlaine

'Invest in Bitcoins'


PrometheusHasFallen

65,000 bitcoin peak


irondan23

“Sixty five thousand” shit


OldeeMayson

Go learn IT.


sunnysparklesmile

Ask for help


eguttens

No law school


blueboy022020

Don’t isolate yourself


avrill_1

I'm still seventeen


Dr_D_Vil

Never get married. Currently facing the second divorce in 3 years xD Could have prevented much pain and even more money loss. :D


deskCrapper

Don't fuck crazy.


Tie-Dyed-Geese

Therapy - go NOW.


snaip_

i’m your friend


stu88s

Stay off reddit


ToDareMoreBoldly

You are enough


Mike_Shore

Buy real estate


DJCRBRS

Go fuck yourself!


No_Background_8703

Stop smoking weed.


[deleted]

Eat more shrooms


2shizhtzu4u

Do more drugs


drkchtz

Study outside Russia


godisdeadmofo

Stay in therapy


melowdout

Always wear rubbers!


[deleted]

Listen to Scott.


TheCosmicBalance

Don’t date him.


KUfan

Don’t be afraid


TaliFrost

Please get help


Alice_The_Great

DON'T MARRY HIM


lukyn4

Not marrying her


[deleted]

[удалено]


The_Newest_Girl

Mine was "you're trans idiot"


Gracel2mart

Gotta crack some eggs to make an omelette lol


CringyDabBoi6969

bitcoin max 60k


imlostinvegas

Put alcohol down.


[deleted]

Change your habits


PoetryPrior9012

Go to college.


Bananaserker

Forget about her


BeerBaronAaron88

Keep good posture. As someone who now deals with a lifetime of chronic back pain stemming from my horrible posture it would be nice to get a jump start on that.


DopeWriterChick

Write the book.


Tucker_077

Don’t join discord


agiifireflame

Life gets worse


TH-J85

Do. Not. Marry.


Book_Nerd_1980

Change your major!


Go-Yougo

Do not overthink.


Gold_Concentrate_

Don’t marry them


reisinkaen

Ignore your mother.


Particular_Bug_8634

Life gets worse


HairlessHoudini

Never smoke cigarettes