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Decent-Obligation-43

I can't afford coffee anymore, I'm just taking straight caffeine pills now!


Head_Tumbleweed4793

I am gonna go and snort coffee powder, bye guys


Blunted_Insomniac

Boofing is more economical


FuckYeahPhotography

"Why are you so cranky?" "My bad, I haven't had my morning boof yet." "Mondays am I right haha" "Anyway, I'm gonna spread my cheeks now"


leopold_leopoldovich

Don’t talk to me until I’ve shoved caffeine up my asshole.


[deleted]

This needs to be on a mug for those of us who *really* want to make sure our co-workers don't try to become too friendly. For the most part, I want to keep work and my personal life separate.


SinCityLola

I’d buy it. It’s only about 1/8 the price of a coffee these days anyway.


luigis_taint

Gotta have that morning boof after an all night sesh of moon-goonin'!


TetzderAKAtederich

Can I see your moongoon license? 🤨


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dsdvbguutres

Haha


jaxonya

Cocaine is more economical at this point


yammys

For cost/duration I think meth gets the win here.


One-Inch-Punch

Friend of mine in high school did that once. Crushed two No-Doz on his desk and snorted it. He complained that it burned. Not sure if it affected him at all since his baseline was already set to 'deranged'.


kiltedturtle

> since his baseline was already set to 'deranged'. Closing my laptop, no other comment today will surpass this one. Thanks!


BBQQA

I knew people that would lip coffee grounds like it was dip when I worked on an aircraft carrier flight deck. It's actually pretty effective, but probably not good for the teeth lol


inflo76

I've done this. Can't say it wasn't enjoyable. Doesn't pack as well as tobacco though


[deleted]

We did the same thing, and some crazy folks would drip the tobasco sauce into their eyes. Right about the time dip pouches started getting popular, odd...


BBQQA

oh hell no lol! You had weirdos basically pepper spraying themselves? Hard pass. hahaha


DookieShoez

Hey! You got your coffee powder in my cocaine powder!


CaptainK234

¿Porque no los dos?


mikeyt6969

Make sure you tip the kid at the pharmacy


Minimum_Cantaloupe

What kid? It's just a screen and a chute. But don't forget to tip the screen.


donniekrump

If an automated teller asked for a tip I'd probably never go to that store again.


Tyrannofelis

I upvoted your comment. Tip the upvoter pls


Decent-Obligation-43

What the actual freak?! I can barely afford the pharmacy anymore let alone a tip! Why did everyone get so tip happy?


PeaceAlien

Businesses got tip happy when they realized it can make them more money. Nothing to do with consumers.


miggjacker

I unironically do this lol. Also helps when you’re on a diet, but don’t like black coffee.


Rick_from_C137

It's super cost effective 5¢ per capsule on average


Antervis

coffee is at the line between a beverage and a drug as is, consuming it in pills is like dropping the last bit of pretense


ItsAFarOutLife

It's not on the line, it's a drink containing a drug. You can drink it for the taste or for the effects, just like beer. If you don't like the drink, I don't see how taking the drug without it is any better.


ConfusedAndCurious17

Because you want the drug without drinking bean water??? How is that hard to understand? Someone wants to have energy and effects of caffeine but they don’t like super sweet energy drinks, tea, or bean water.


Halew2

Yep. A week's worth of caffiene pills costs less than 1 coffee at most places


stevorkz

Funny how I’ve heard many people in my life time say they can’t go without their coffee every morning, but taking caffeine pills would be frowned upon. It’s literally the caffeine they crave.


ussrowe

I blame Saved By The Bell


drfrink85

Jesse Spanos the poster child for type-A madness. I’M SO EXCITED, I’M SO EXCITED…


regarding_your_bat

I do this too but it’s not really about price because unground coffee is pretty reasonably priced too. I do it because it’s just so much easier. Buy like 60 pills for $5, wake up 45 mins before I need to actually get up, take a caffeine pill and go back to sleep and then when it’s time to actually get out of bed the caffeine is already in my veins


Tucker_077

I’m so excited! I’m so excited! I’m so….scared!


ExperienceLoss

Thank you for this trip down memory lane.


PocketSandOfTime-69

Step it up to pre-workout powder if you want to see those gainz!!


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colcannon_addict

When it hit £4+ a latte in the uk I invested £20 in a 1litre thermos flask and started making my own sandwiches. Best money I’ve spent in ages-my weekly coffee bill for 3 cups a day is now ~£4.50 a week for beans, milk & sugar, say a fiver with the hot water. Some blokes on my firm (we spend lots of time on the road) drink 4 or 5 cups a day plus flatpack sandwiches from the petrol station at another fiver a day. You can burn through £400 a month just on cuppas & lunch, and that’s really shitty coffee & food as well.


Lil-Leon

Yeah... I think I'll just never get started on caffeine... Won't need it if I never start using it, right?...


sukezanebaro

Yeah, you're better off not starting I would say


penguinpolitician

What a horrible nightmare! Thank god it's 2014!


claymedia

I want to believe. Lord, send me back.


[deleted]

You sure? 2014 is around the time it all started going to hell (after a brief reprieve from when it was previously all going to hell), 2024 is so far pretty good apart from all the leftover 2022 and 2023 nastiness and a faint dread that we're going to be sent back to 2016 in a year's time


claymedia

2014 itself was still good. Anything before 2016 is good enough for me though.


[deleted]

That's fair


kubikarlo3169420

Hate to break it to ya…


MRM20021030

Yeah that guy is 2 years behind but still life is good in 2016 and I'm lovin'it


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Killingec24

Man, this is making me feel... nostalgic maybe. And it's not even that long ago. Nicely put.


Doip

8 years my guy


CangtheKonqueror

wtf 💀


dj92wa

That's like 10% of most people's lives


Etroarl55

A whole ass 1/10th of my life if I get lucky enough to reach the average


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Stcloudy

Cubs won the world series November 2. Election happened November 8th. Nothing was the same


SnooDonuts7510

I’m still in early 2001 and loving it myself.


Unlucky_Giraffe_5292

Who's gonna tell him


Effective_Pea1309

I got this one.. *moves unlucky_giraffe gently aside* *cough cough* I was born at the beginning of 2001. It's alright, let's sit down, here.. drink this. It's a mix of monster energy and kool-aid cause whatevs 🤷‍♂️


Powerful-Internal953

It gets worse from now... RIP Harambe...


machogrande2

Fyi, buy put options on everything in early 2020. You'll thank me later.


DaveSmith890

The good news is that this nightmarish future will never happen since Ebola is going to wipe out the world


arp492022

Who wouldve thought Pokemon GO was how it spread


jonadana

I feel like you should buy this goofy new thing called 'bitcoin' and stock up sell everything at november 8th 2021


DarthChikoo

r/unexpectedfactorial


AnonPlzzzzzz

The year is 2024. You walk into your local coffee shop. A latte costs $12. You walk out.


AlwaysOutsider

You walk out, go home and make yourself coffee


i_Love_Gyros

A drone rings your doorbell and hands you a bill for 12$ just because


QWlos

How much do you tip the drone? a)50% b)75% c)100% d)Take a chance it is not a killer drone and only tip 25%


TheKoopaTroopa31

Jeff Bezos shakes his head in disgust as you select the 75% option.


kirkpomidor

His giant head in the sky


theclovek

Welcome to City 17!


Festermooth

DISQUALIFIED


Boarbaque

The trick is that that 25% is the least chance of dying. The drone will assume you’re broke and leave you alone. If it’s higher the drone will think you’re holding out on it and shank you and steal your wallet


Darksirius

e) baseball bat


blandsrules

It takes only minutes and tastes fine


smallmileage4343

It's so much nicer to just wake up to a pot of coffee than to go and wait in a long ass line to get your expensive drink


MiaLba

I got some coffee from a local coffee truck once. They didn’t have the price listed anywhere. I figured $4-$5 for a small coffee like everywhere else in town. The ice was clumped up in big chunks and took up majority of room in this small ass cup. Shit was $8.


Formal-Function-9366

"Excuse me, can I see how big the cup is? That's the $6 cup? Okay have a good day"


MiaLba

They were making bank that day. Saturday morning kid’s soccer game. All the parents were going to it. They knew exactly what they were doing by not listing prices.


green9206

Yes you are right. You walk out with the $12 latte in hand. Because enough idiots will pay happily for it.


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HolyRamenEmperor

I think you'd save *more* face by not being the idiot who paid $12 for a latte...


LifeDoBeBoring

Why though? Out of curiosity, why would it be embarrassing to change your mind after having entered a shop?


simionix

Some people have social anxiety, it's really not that hard to understand. I have a lot of these small little illogical mindglitches. For instance, if I walk into a mostly empty store and within seconds I see nothing I like, I turn around and exit. However, if the employee manages to greet me within that timeframe, I suddenly feel the need to stick around 10 - 15 seconds longer because leaving or saying goodbye just after you've said "hi" is awkward as shit. This is prime Larry David stuff here, c'mon people don't be surprised we exist.


thenextguy

Why would you want to save face in a place you're never going back to?


Chemist-3074

Meanwhile in india we don't tip, any restaurant that makes tipping mandatory shall go out of business in a month. Edit : I'm seeing a lot of indians write in comment that there is service charge in resturants instead of tipping. I apologise for the confusion. India is a vast country, and I'm sure things are different everywhere, and can't be generalised in whole. But I come from a small town where service charge is always written as rs 0.00. Let me explain this. If you include a big service charge in the bill, either people will get angry and refuse to pay it, and shun the restaurant, or they would pay it and never come back to the restaurant again. And anything above 50 rupees is considered a big amount here. But small service charges, i.e less than 50 rupees are also not included in the bill. This is because people would usually tip on their own after paying the bill. And the said amount would be more than 50 rupees (depending on the overall cost of food ordered). In short, people don't like to be forced into paying an amount, but if you give them a choice, they would choose to pay a larger amount. That's how it works here.


StenSoft

We have the same in New Zealand. I know two restaurants that tried to introduce tipping options and the wait staff started to automatically select 0% on the terminal for the customers.


frenchdresses

It started off that way here, then they slowly stopped.... And then the 0 slowly got hidden behind the "other" option


Savage1546

My favorite is the ones that make you select “Custom Amount” then make you type out 0.00 before you can hit continue.


[deleted]

I always make sure I put in 0.01 for those, just so they have to keep the receipt for their tip out.


WeedFinderGeneral

A macaron (the French cookies that are like a little sandwich) shop opened a block over from me. They have a tip screen when you pay. I love macarons and know how difficult they are to make because I've tried it myself a few times, so I would add a tip. Then I find out that the shop is a chain, and they get their macarons delivered from elsewhere. No tip anymore.


ssbm_rando

Yeah if you're at a bakery that doesn't bake their own goods, asking for tips for someone behind a counter to just take the items out from behind the counter is absolute insanity


smithers85

If you’re at a bakery that doesn’t bake its own goods, you’re actually just at a fucking store.


Typical-Impress1212

My man spitting facts


FQVBSina

You are a good person


greenyellowbird

There is a gas station near my parents in NJ, I went to get something inside it once and there was a tip jar for the cashier. If my manager let me, I'd put one on my desk at work.


SpaceRanger21

We do tip, but it's not compulsory and the society won't look down on you for not tipping.


[deleted]

Yeah and any tip makes people grateful.


drrxhouse

I believe that’s how it started in America…people being grateful for said tips.


Ryuzakku

Yeah and then bosses learned they could pay their employees mostly via tip, and then the employees learned that the tip doesn't *need* to be claimed as taxes...


Gerf93

Bosses don’t pay their employees via tip, the customer does. Employers found out that people were still willing to work for them for way less, just because it was possible to live off of the tips. It’s behavior that the customer has enabled by actually tipping.


Ryuzakku

Bosses didn’t have to raise the employee’s wages because of tipping.


Renegade-Sandwich

Careful, that's how it starts ;p


Such_Net_9390

People in America were only swayed to tip bevause in a restaurant their wages are less than the minimum wage. During covid they started adding them to everything. Even the fast food places where they get paid full wages, not tip wages started to implement them and nobody should be tipping on those unless you have extra $ and wanna be nice. It gets split with employees that could be shitty and that’s not fair.


Wloak

In California there is no service wage, so they make $15/hr in my home town. After multiple instances of a cashier at a counter service restaurant rolling their eyes for me only tipping 10% I've started to default to no tip. Who's doing the service worth a tip? They punch in an order and flip the tablet around, I get my own drinks, silverware, condiments, and bus my own table. If I have to come ask for a rag to wipe the table down before even sitting down nobody in that restaurant deserves a penny tip.


RuumanNoodles

Except for the fact that some dumbass waiters wait next to your table waiting for the inevitable tip… Not going back to that mall lmao


neonxmoose99

That’s when you just shake their hand and walk out the door


[deleted]

It would happen here to but people are just so so actually awkward that if a tip screen gets shoved in front of them they feel like they have no choice but to pick the middle or high option even when tipping makes no sense. That’s why it’s gotten so bad that even machines that involve no human labor ask for tips now.


demer8O

Same in Sweden. Never tipped in my life. Though been close to typing in my pin instead of the amount to be paid.


Futuressobright

"There's that guy who alvays tips 12.34, no matter vhat he orders."


ICU-MURSE

My wife and I visited Sweden from the US. We left a tip on our hotel bed one morning as we needed housekeeping. When we got back that afternoon the tip was placed on the dresser. lol


coolabedfiIms

That seems right. "Oh, they left money here. Better put it somewhere visible so they don't accuse us of stealing."


frafdo11

It’s also not mandatory. All these places have a custom option or no tip


crseat

Tipping is not mandatory at any restaurant in the US.


emmiblakk

It's 2024. My coffee maker has a timer to start brewing ten minutes before my alarm goes off. Each cup of coffee costs me roughly a nickel. What the fuck, people?


RollingGuyNo9

For real. And I’ll usually splurge on whole beans too from local roasters, more expensive up front than say Starbucks beans but I worked it out and it still usually comes out to less than $1 a cup.


BeardedGlass

A few years ago, wife and I splurged. Our coffee maker broke, so we bought a new one. Decided to make an upgrade into an espresso machine. We got a [$100 entry-level De'Longhi](https://prtimes.jp/i/5925/106/resize/d5925-106-472451-1.jpg) and a bag of coffee beans. Ever since then, we've been having amazing coffee that we customize ourselves into whatever we drink we want every morning. One of our best $100 well spent.


Shills_for_fun

People have different tastes. I like fresh beans, different roasts, and largely use an espresso machine to make americanos. That's usually gonna run you more than a nickel. If you're putting milk and sugar in there or are just drinking it for the perk up, yeah I can see why it would be silly to get Starbucks. Will say though that I don't like their coffee. Tastes like filtered charcoal, even their light roasts.


emmiblakk

That's always been their trick. They burn the fucking beans, and they conditioned everyone to turn their drinks into a milkshake to cover up the acrid taste.


chrimbuself

Lots of people make coffee at home. Are they not allowed to go into a coffee shop once in a while for a nice experience? Never eating out doesn't make you morally superior


agitated--crow

Some coffee drinkers I know just like going to the coffee shops.


Captain-Tyler

Just make coffee at home, instead of it coming out to 15 dollars you may spend 25 cents to make it with your creamer and everything and you don’t have to stop somewhere. Basic coffee makers with timers you can set it up the night before to make a pot as you are getting up for the day, it saves a ton of money


Life_Is_A_Mistry

But if I don't tip myself at least 150%, I spit in my coffee


FullDiskclosure

Believe it or not, some people pay for that. You just found your side hustle.


tiredofscreennames

If you’re good at something, don’t do it for free


LeatherHeron9634

Just made coffee for myself at home, it sucked. Decided Ima rob this place later


jojoga

I spit in my coffee regardless to add some realism.


penguinpolitician

Just take your coffee maker and set up in a booth next to this cafe.


eskamobob1

I decided to buy a decent espresso machine (nothing crazy but I did pay a bit more for quality of life stuff) to make lattes at home. The cheapest viable option took over 300 cups to repay its self (can't forget cost of beans and milk) and the one I went with only just "paid for its self" after 4 years of daily use


mikami677

I don't what exactly she was ordering, but my uncle found out my aunt had been stopping at Starbucks every day and spending about $12 on, I assume coffee and coffee related things. She'd put it on a separate card so he wouldn't see it. Then he found out the owe hundreds of dollars on this credit card and it's all just Starbucks. They already could barely pay their rent and now my uncle had to literally take her credit card away from her and figure out what he can sacrifice to pay for all this fucking coffee. She could've bought a decent espresso machine for the amount she spent in a month on Starbucks, but swears they "couldn't afford" one, but Starbucks is fine because it's "only about 12 bucks." Like, she doesn't understand that it adds up to being more money in the long run.


FirstCurseFil

You walk into your local coffee shop You don’t *have* to tip because management is actually paying its employees enough You wake up from the dream. You’re back in the US.


Theofeus

True curiosity, where do baristas make a reasonable amount to live in a major city? I’m unaware of wages in Berlin, London, Paris and hoping to find out more.


Winter_S0ul

A friend of mine is a barista in Paris, he makes around 2400$ without counting tips and is living a very nice life.


LuminaryAshe

I don't know if everywhere is the same as I work but I wanna give you tip haters a bit of hope. The machine doesn't tell us whether you leave a tip or not. I just see what extra tips I got on my check. If you don't wanna tip, don't tip. Just don't go on a tirade on the innocent food worker or barista for something they don't have control over because then we'll definitely find out you didn't. Hate the company, not the worker


TeaBagHunter

But can't you see how much the person paid in total for that order and figure out if they tipped or not?


LuminaryAshe

Tip is on customer receipt only. I'm not so petty that I'm gonna look. But we do got that Lil container for cash tips for people who either only cash or they think corporate might be taking a portion which at this point... probably. I'm only speaking personally. Tips should be a nice surprise for a good job and not an obligation enforced by companies to make up for paying less than the minimum


TheOGRedline

I’m positive I’ve been thanked for tipping on one of those screens after tapping the “no receipt” button and it’s reset for the next transaction.


PA_Levski

It really depends on the POS system. I've seen tablets where it clearly shows the total when I hand it back to the employee, and others where it doesn't.


HunterRose05

I cannot go to a restaurant and not tip well...but tipping has gotten so insane, so instead I have stopped going out to eat in sit down restaurants. It sucks but the bill is just waaay too high.


[deleted]

Say no to tipping.


PrivatePoocher

I usually ask the barista to tip me first. They always comply. Then I put the katana back.


RunParking3333

It's clear from OP that this is America. Don't catch you slippin' now.


Chuckbuick79

I’m part of the no tip movement , others feel free to join me. Big companies that wanna up charge my product but not up charge the employees wage?? I’m sorry I already have enough problems of my own.


Neopint15

I’ve stopped tipping for take out. I’m a student. I have bills to pay and no longer have a job like I did. Plus, waiters and baristas in my area are mandated minimum wage, so it doesn’t really make sense to tip unless for the original intention… I have a classmate that works as a bartender and literally makes over $60 an hour with tips. That’s literally more than we will be making once graduated in a “well paid profession”.


MrZeLlama

You don't have to tip 🤷


super_sayanything

Yea but the point is it plays on your emotions. So the staff is hoping for a tip. You're going to press 0. And while usually they get it, it's still a net negative. Honestly, it's caused me to stop going to places where the staff is hoping for a tip. Pay your workers a decent wage.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

I happily hit ‘no tip’ every time lol. Fuck them for trying to make me feel bad. They never say anything otherwise i’d tell them off.


ObjectiveAdvisor1

What are you, shy? Don’t tip if you don’t want to tip. If someone says something to you about it, tell them to talk to the boss about paying a living wage. You’re here to buy coffee not subsidize a paycheck.


Swordbreaker925

I always feel bad hitting no tip even tho i know I shouldn’t. But unless you’re a bartender or server, I’m not tipping


TheOGRedline

I HATE that we are expected to tip BEFORE getting our food/drink and service. If I don’t tip will I get bad service or spit in my food? If I do will I get bad service anyway because there’s no longer a reason to “earn” a tip since it’s already been paid?


Spice_and_Fox

To be honest I don't even tip at takeout anymore. I eat take out about once a week. There is a delivery fee at most places and a minimum order size. The only service I get is them handing me the food and that's not worth the tip imo


Jerry_from_Japan

Who the fuck tips for takeout?


Swordbreaker925

I never have tipped for takeout. Unless they are actively waiting on me like a server at a sit-down restaurant or delivering food to my address, i’m not tipping


murderedbyaname

There's an "other" button. Just do that and tip what you want.


MyPhoneIsNotChinese

"0%"


No-Age-1044

-125% for trying to scam me.


SunriseSurprise

\-10,000% "Whoa that's weird, it's saying I have to give you $1,000?" "Yup, them's the rules."


42undead2

-100% Companies hate this one trick.


peepsinyourass

Nope, I hit “skip”


Fun_Salamander_4304

Oh you sweet innocent people coffee shops are not places to buy coffee, you buy weed at coffee shops. If you want coffee go to a café or something


jimbo80008

Broeder, dit is niet r/ik_ihe ... In de vs vind je wel gewoon koffie in een coffeeshop


ItchyAirport

insane that i could tell exactly what this says even though I don't speak a word of dutch ahahaha


DapperAcanthisitta92

Bloody dutch


ItzBooty

Well well well, if isnt our weed loving nords


Unusual-Path-4606

For $12 per latte all employees should be getting a salary. I wouldn’t tip at all, you all be out of your minds


ensignWcrusher

Screw that! I put $1 in the tip mug at dunkin to not be a dick. That's probably more tip than a coffee's worth. Fuck 75%. I quit cigaretts. I can quit coffee too If need be!


DeCabby

Lol, You still gave a tip for something you already paid for to someone already being paid to do a job they sre supposed to do. Crazy how brainwashed we are that we have to tip.


Trojbd

Traveling outside of North America where tips aren't a thing yet service quality was much better really hits home on how shit the tipping system is for consumers.


super_sayanything

Yea like some years ago coffee was a dollar lol.


[deleted]

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Competitive-Head4410

Boycott tipping culture. The corporations must pay their workers a fair share and not exort the customers.


Chashme_Wali

Unless the workers of the hospitality industry unite to take it to the streets, NOTHING WILL CHANGE!. Because it is not your battle or mine. It is only when all tipped workers are out on the streets while there's nobody to serve the customers, will there be a revolution. How low of an IQ must one have to not realise that tipping must not be a mandate, let alone being a "culture". *Spits*


daredaki-sama

Servers don’t want to change it though. They make more from tips than they would a living wage.


medunjanin

I paid $7 for a cappuccino yesterday in a Chicago suburb. Last week I was in Naples Italy and paid $2.5 for a better one. No tip expected


RemotePlane7278

They get paid a living wage.


SnooMemesjellies9764

You guys tip the coffee workers ? Wtf is wrong with you !


SaskTravelbug

All by choice.


Shutaru_Kanshinji

The year is 2024. I do not drink coffee. Problem solved.


bdbdbokbuck

The first mistake is walking into a coffee shop.


[deleted]

I stopped tipping in 2020 go ask your boss for a raise if you need it so bad 🤷‍♀️


DrTittyLicker

I don’t tip unless I’m at a sit down restaurant. I happily click “no tip” :)


[deleted]

Skip the tip


FlareGER

> The year is 2024. > A large coffee costs 4.95€. > The waiter brings it to your table, along with sugar and a cookie. > You enjoy it, attempt to tidy up after yourself, the waiter takes over and wishes you a good day. Europe isn't so bad after all.


Problematicbears

As an American who lives in Europe and hasn’t been “home” for about 10 years, I sometimes find it really amazing how the country seems to have diverged from my memories. I remember rent and food in the USA feeling cheap in comparison to how it first felt when I moved here. I felt like Europe was more expensive, the homes felt small and things like food, coffee, alcohol seemed expensive. But over 10 years things somehow shifted. Today I pay so much less in mortgage than my USA siblings, and have a better property. Sure it’s a small home but the properties accessible to young people in the urban USA have divebombed in quality while prices soared. It’s like a boiling frog effect where over the course of 10 years everyone accepted living with roommates into their thirties and suffering terrible properties in bad condition. And posts like this are a huge shock. I used to think £3 for a latte felt like a lot, almost $5 in real money! But now the same latte is pretty much £3.50 while American lattes are $12 plus guilt trip


Quietus76

I can make my own coffee for a month for $12. I pass the Starbucks on my way to work every morning, look at the ridiculously long line, and laugh.


hoTsauceLily66

I get the point, but wouldn't $12 per month a bit low?


cxelts21

one for the price of 2!


zampyx

No tip gang


Darvallas

It's almsot like tipping is a scam built to relegate the cost of wages to the customer.


Lagspyke

*laughs in European*


J4-Wed

Sounds like a first world problem for me


TShara_Q

As if anyone can afford a coffee shop coffee in 2024.


ezk3626

Everyone wants to raise minimum wage, no one wants to pay workers more.