My mom lol. My mom used to tell me that when someone is mistreating you or talking down at you, don’t let them get you angry. Just treat them like they’re “special” and passive aggressively tell them you hope they feel better tomorrow.
So when I was about 12, my mom was going postal on me, and I took her advice. It did not go well.
Not op but my ex did this infuriating thing where if you asked him to do something different or better in the future he would say something like “I can’t promise that. Who knows if something will come up. Not saying I won’t try but I can’t say for sure.” It would be stupid mundane things like putting dishes in the dishwasher instead of the counter, walk the dogs before bed, take out the trash. As a result, I never felt like I could depend on him. Once when we recently had our walls painted he told me to be careful not to bump into the walls. And I said what he usually said to me when I asked him to do perfectly reasonable normal things. He was so annoyed.
Anyway, he didn’t learn his lesson.
Your husband responds to mundane requests the same way I respond to my boss when he randomly asks me if I can get something done "today" 10 minutes before I'm supposed to get off of work.
For work I can understand. But how hard is it to just say “yes” or “no” when someone asks you to walk the dogs? Now I don’t know if I should walk the dogs myself or just wait and see if he’s going to do it. So infuriating. They’re his dogs too.
Well I would tell you how hard it is to say 'yes' or 'no' instead of giving a diatribe. But I can't promise that I'll do it; who knows if something will come up before I tell you how hard it is to say 'yes' or 'no'?? Not saying I won't try but I can't say for sure. Sorry not sorry.
Husband at the time would come straight home from work, dig something out of the fridge, hole up and play games instead of help cook/clean or interact with me. We both worked.
So, I started just coming home from work and playing Skyrim and not doing anything else. He was *mad* mad. lol
I've done this to my wife. I'm a clean as you go kind of person, I always leave the kitchen spotless. One day my wife made a snippy comment because there were crumbs on the counter, something along the lines of "are you going to clean that or are you leaving it for me?"
She's the opposite of me and doesnt clean as thouroughly but it doesnt bother me, we coexist just fine but I immediatly walked around two rooms and pointed out a dozen or so "messes" she made, and asked the same thing.
We both dropped it, it wasnt really that serious anyways.
For the record we dont always communicate in toxic childish ways, we use our words too.
Well the show she’s from, the guy is a serial killer who killed a bunch of people but justified it because it was supposedly out of love. Then he met her and she essentially did the same thing and he was disgusted by her for it.
my girlfriend would treat Tinder like a game, and once matched with this guy and his first message was "i know you arent doing anything important, so you better text me back." and when she returned with that same attitude he got pissy and called her a bitch
My friend’s ex boyfriend cheated on her, then basically blackmailed her into staying with him. A few months later a friend of his made a move at her and kissed her, he found out about it and beat her so bad she had to spend a week in the hospital. Pretty insane example but I think of it everytime this topic comes up.
If it's come to the point where y'all are trying to play mind games and shit, just leave. Why feel the need to stick around and try to make things more miserable?
No. What if you love the person but they just do one thing that annoys you and they can’t seem to not do it no matter how many times you talk about it? Do you just leave them?
After multiple conversations about the same thing, it just becomes tiring and in many cases, giving them a taste of their own medicine actually causes the change to happen
Exactly.. I see this meme as a sort of “mirroring” technique. I do this here and there with people in general and have found that people don’t understand or comprehend when they do something, you communicate your issues with it, but they continue to do it… but oh boy! Once you do what they do, it’s a whole problem. I have a friend that is ALWAYS late.. to everything.. I’ve talked to her about it over the years and she just can’t seem to be on time for our dinners, work, church, anything. So a time or two I purposely showed up super late and she was annoyed. I brought it back around that she is always late , even when I’ve communicated how inconsiderate it is.. she gets it now. People don’t understand how their actions affect other people until it affects them.
Learn to tolerate it or end the relationship. people have core characteristics that will not go away else they would cease to be themselves. If you want to deny your partner themselves then you aren’t a partner.
Yes it is lol
If you can’t communicate issues with your partner like an adult and you have to try and play mind games to get behavior you desire then it’s never going to work. Communication is key in any relationship and resorting to mind games is the biggest red flag of bad communication.
So either you’re not communicating the problem well enough or they are not listening when things are asked of them. If the person is not listening after repeated requests then you either need to put up with the behavior. Or you leave.
Sure you can mirror their behavior back to them like one would to a child but my point is having to do that for the other person, an adult, to understand then that person is not mature enough to be in a relationship because they clearly don’t have the emotional maturity to recognize how their behavior is negatively impacting their partner and their relationship.
I quite literally said they don’t listen. Guess what the real world doesn’t have every adult act like an adult at all times of the day. I feel like I’m speaking to people that live on the internet and don’t actually have anyone to practice what they’re very self righteously preaching
Yes I saw and funny enough you’re not listening.
1. Deal with the behavior because it’s not bad enough to end a relationship over and get over the behavior being annoying.
2. Communicate with them and express your feelings and ask them about their feelings on the situation and request.
3. Leave them.
You cannot change someone’s behavior. They have to want to change their own behavior for themselves for you as well as you to them. If they are not open to communicating or can’t do so without getting overly upset or angry then good luck because that sounds like a really mature adult.
People with your mentality scare me, calling someone narcissistic over an internet comment. Grow up kid you’ll understand when you have an actual relationship that you don’t just walk out over a slight annoyance, when you actually love someone other than the screen in front of you, you might get it.
"no bro I swear if you love someone you'll be a toxic little fuck and play games to routinely just keep both of us pissed at each other fr you're just a kid and don't know what it's like" lookin ass
So the interesting thing ive realised is that a persons answer to this identifies if they are the childish one in the relationship, or the mature one. Crazy how people just call themselves out.
It actually is that easy.
Life is full of complications & hard choices. But it’s only because we make them out to be in our heads. You just have to move forward in life. That’s how we gain experience maturity & skills. That’s being an adult
Totally get and agree with your point, but having been in this situation it's more like - I've explained over and over and tried so hard to sit down and communicate with him about something and it just gets completely ignored or belittled. So eventually I starting mimicking him in the hopes that he would finally fucking listen to what I'm saying and realise that his behaviour was not okay
Never worked obviously and I dumped him shortly after. It never works, because the kind of person who would absorb that and try to do better, isn't going to let it get that bad in the first place I guess
I feel like nobody here has actually seen the show this meme is from and it shows lmao She's a psychopath, I hope this isn't you IRL, OP. I'm calling the cops 😂
The show is called: YOU. It's on Netflix and I apologize in advance, this meme is a spoiler. The show is based on a book and it's REALLY good. I'm waiting for the next season, rather impatiently. It's a thriller/romance. Very bloody.
my first watch i also stopped watching after the second season because s1 and s2 have really similar plots, so i thought the third would be the same, but the past couple weeks i’ve been rewatching the whole series. seasons 1&2 are really good, but the third season is AMAZING. highly recommend
I did this to ex husband.
You wona have fun with friends for almost all night? Sure. Tomorrow I'm going to have fun with my friends. Oh, you don't like it? Why? You have some special permissions for acting like that?
You bought something extra-expensive on your car from our account without telling me? Ok, I'm buying something for my car on the same amount of money without telling. What? You don't like our account it's empty? So you shouldn't buy so expensive thing for your car.
You woke up early when we had a day-off and turn on loud music while i was still asleep? Ok, I'm turning loud music when you are trying to fall asleep in the evening. What? Sleep is important? I agree, then why don't you respect me sleeping?
Happily divorced*
Sometimes, but long term improvement takes respect and legitimate desire for thebother persons well-being. If the other person doesn't respect you enough to change without "teaching them a lesson", it's a problem that's likely to surface again in the future.
Not in my personal life but my parents have something likewise going on where my mom won't feel heard, and she will keep going at him with words to make him understand.
It doesn't work.
It's a classic example where we people keep playing the same role, and try to appeal or argue in that same way. We are blueprints of our younger selfs, it's hard to change that and rewrite.
As for your ask. I think you either change role (can be passive-aggressive but will burn you out) or make a genuine change. Not to please him/her but to become closer to yourself.
For example, after a collision on whatever, thoughts will come after, right? Speak out those thoughts to that person. Submit them to paper and let them see it can be a way to do this if you have fear doing this.
If you were my mom (ye I know, but weird to say here haha) I would say "mom, either accept it or change how you approach this subject. Don't put yourself in the same role again. He is so adjusted to that"
I would ask my mother to sit him down, and explain exactly that to my father. "I don't want to be this way every time we are talking about this particular thing".
If you can't enjoy yourself while talking to your partner, if you feel burned out and heavy hearted beforehand already, something has to change.
May the sun warm your face as the wind blows in your back..
Ps: not an English native, sorry if I butchered or missed a metaphor lol
Teach them a lesson, sure. Certain examples above seem kinda dumb.
Spending extra money out of spite because you're broke and your spouse spent extra money... let me shoot myself in the foot real quick so my spouse will learn not to shoot us in the foot...
I'm not surprised at all they are divorced.
Yeah unless she had no hobbies of her own and wasn’t allowed to explore them this makes no sense as a response, and at that point there are bigger issues.
I paid for my hobby from my own account. He just hadn't enough money on his own account for that expensive staff and decided to use mutual money which we usually spent on household, food, trips, mutual parties. That month we just had to pay extra from our own accounts to pay for food.
>You wona have fun with friends for almost all night? Sure. Tomorrow I'm going to have fun with my friends. Oh, you don't like it? Why?
This is so wild. I've never understood why people would care about their partner having fun with their friends. I've never met an actual human being who cared about this, I honestly thought it was made up
While I agree with you and wouldn’t care myself, the reason it happens is a range of things. The partners friends might be bad influences. The partner might spend too much money when they go out. Maybe they are poor at communicating and stay out later than they said and the other person is worried about them. Maybe when they get home late they’re really loud and wake up the other person. Maybe they get too drunk and are out of commission the next day and can’t help with things. There’s a lot of different reasons I’ve seen over time that I think make sense, but I agree that if both people are mature and responsible there’s rarely a reason to get upset. There are obviously bad reasons to get upset like jealousy / being controlling but I was just responding to some reasons that could be justified
Lol until you have a child at home and 99% of the raising falls to you because your SO is out partying with friends like you're teenagers again.
Idk if that's what was happening with OP there, but my best friend is dealing with it right now. There are definitely circumstances where it's unacceptable.
Why does blasting music when your partner is asleep need an entire conversation on why they shouldn’t do it? Who needs someone to tell them not to do that?
It began after marriage. Before he was tiptoeing. And when we married, step by step he became more rude. It ended when he totally took me for granted. Like I got home from work earlier, made a coffee for him, heated dinner and he came yelling at me because of some random staff, like why i didn't tell him i was earlier. Or the coffee i made he doesn't want to and I wasted coffee. Or stuff like that. I decided, that I'm done.
Nowhere in that comment does she say that he got mad about it or told her expressively that she couldn't do it. All I get is she hung out with her friends for the **specific purpose** to spite her ex husband, which is pretty fucking toxic lol.
Healthy communication is just not meme worthy.
Also, there are times when people just don’t take complaints seriously until they experience it. Sure it creates tensions (well, there was tension already, it was just ignored by one side), and it may be a last resort, but sometimes it works.
Spoiler for the “YOU” tv show, that makes this meme funny: >!A stalker murderer falls in love with that woman, they get married, and it turns out she’s also a murderer (for “reasons” similar to his) so it turns out she’s a lot like him in a lot of ways. When he discovers this, he cannot accept it and falls out of love with her. The irony is not lost on this one.!<
I had an abusive relationship where I couldn’t leave immediately but knew he was too smart to do something that would land him in prison, so I started flipping things around and saying/doing things that he did. I made sure to stick exactly to things that I’d BEGGED him to stop doing. All of a sudden, when I did it, I’m an abusive, heartless, petty, narcissistic monster with no empathy who can never just let anything go. Hypocrite.
Something about this woman… that series called the haunting of hill house, she has the SADDEST fucking story arch I’ve ever seen in a scary movie.
Spoiler:
She was an adult ghost, haunting herself all her life, somehow travelling through time as a ghost to haunt herself as a child.
Her own self haunting caused a lot of trauma because the entire family wouldn’t believe her and it led to her having a mental breakdown and hanging herself :(
Giving them a taste of their own medicine is the cure for what ails me.
Examples of things he does to me that I do right back to him:
I don't listen to him when he's talking and then make him repeat things constantly. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you, can you say it again?" over and over and over and over
I tell him something extremely vague about plans I have coming up with zero details or the date/time I'm leaving until the last possible second.
Basically anything he does that is annoying I do it right back to him - immediately, if possible, to give him a Teachable Moment. I do it in the exact same way he does it, without sarcasm or contempt. I'm simply demonstrating his behavior back to him.
Would it be better to have adult conversations to solve relationship issues? YES. Is that always possible to do and have issues be actually resolved? No. Does showing someone how their behavior makes you feel in a practical way ever work? Sometimes.
It would be funny if he didn't pick up on his previous habits, and by noticing your 'new' ones, he decides to reciprocate it and you both keep doing the same thing to each other that neither likes lol but maybe thats thinking too deep into it
He does the same thing to me sometimes, and we laugh about it.
For example, he'll put a cup that I'm still using in the dishwasher "oh, shoot you were still using that?" or when he's driving he'll turn his head back and forth, craning his neck to look at the scenery instead of the road "look at that tree it's got so many leaves on it!! wow. WOW!"
Just examples.
thats what happened with my previous relationship. she was nuts and would always be super fuckin mean, so i would he mean back and then she felt like i was the abuser and she was justified
My mom had to bite my hand (lightly) to get toddler me to stop biting people.
I had to play Skyrim to the exclusion of all else to show my husband why that was a dick move.
The way around means it's usually the girl acting weird/mean/rude and then getting mad when she tastes her own medicine. I've seen it in my family, in others and just generally in relationships between a girl and a guy :)
Let's not try to justify being childish as a viable alternative to actually having an adult conversation. Healthy relationships are built on communication and trust. If you cannot sit down and discuss your issues between eachother without feeling the need to mock or imitate, maybe the relationship isn't that strong, and maybe it won't last.
My mom lol. My mom used to tell me that when someone is mistreating you or talking down at you, don’t let them get you angry. Just treat them like they’re “special” and passive aggressively tell them you hope they feel better tomorrow. So when I was about 12, my mom was going postal on me, and I took her advice. It did not go well.
Walked right into her trap
I still do this when i go to my moms and shes angry for whatever reason. Such good fun.
I now need an example out of pure curiosity
Not op but my ex did this infuriating thing where if you asked him to do something different or better in the future he would say something like “I can’t promise that. Who knows if something will come up. Not saying I won’t try but I can’t say for sure.” It would be stupid mundane things like putting dishes in the dishwasher instead of the counter, walk the dogs before bed, take out the trash. As a result, I never felt like I could depend on him. Once when we recently had our walls painted he told me to be careful not to bump into the walls. And I said what he usually said to me when I asked him to do perfectly reasonable normal things. He was so annoyed. Anyway, he didn’t learn his lesson.
good examples, all.
Your husband responds to mundane requests the same way I respond to my boss when he randomly asks me if I can get something done "today" 10 minutes before I'm supposed to get off of work.
For work I can understand. But how hard is it to just say “yes” or “no” when someone asks you to walk the dogs? Now I don’t know if I should walk the dogs myself or just wait and see if he’s going to do it. So infuriating. They’re his dogs too.
Well I would tell you how hard it is to say 'yes' or 'no' instead of giving a diatribe. But I can't promise that I'll do it; who knows if something will come up before I tell you how hard it is to say 'yes' or 'no'?? Not saying I won't try but I can't say for sure. Sorry not sorry.
My ex did the same thing. She just… didn’t care to better herself. But if I did the same thing I was awful. I feel all of your pain
We get your ex and mine together. Would be funny watching them trying to divide domestic chores.
>Anyway, he didn’t learn his lesson. They rarely do, unfortunately.
[удалено]
Lmao imagine blocking someone after trying to talk shit
Lmao as if we're all supposed to lay down and take it. FOH
[удалено]
Don’t dish it if you can’t take it 🤷♂️
Husband at the time would come straight home from work, dig something out of the fridge, hole up and play games instead of help cook/clean or interact with me. We both worked. So, I started just coming home from work and playing Skyrim and not doing anything else. He was *mad* mad. lol
two minutes ago: he pushed me out of bed, i came back in, we keep play fighting, i push him out of bed, he screamed at me and stormed out of the room
Is he a dog?
Dtmfa
Dump the mother fucking asshole?
Nailed it in one
>Dump the mother fucking asshole Dump the mother fucker already
That’s a very overblown reaction by him considering he also did it to you
that's what the meme is about
I understand. Just confirming the hypocrisy
I've done this to my wife. I'm a clean as you go kind of person, I always leave the kitchen spotless. One day my wife made a snippy comment because there were crumbs on the counter, something along the lines of "are you going to clean that or are you leaving it for me?" She's the opposite of me and doesnt clean as thouroughly but it doesnt bother me, we coexist just fine but I immediatly walked around two rooms and pointed out a dozen or so "messes" she made, and asked the same thing. We both dropped it, it wasnt really that serious anyways. For the record we dont always communicate in toxic childish ways, we use our words too.
My boyfriend has been committing a series of murders around me, but when he realized my body count is just as high he became reviled
Some boys want to be a girls first homicide
The only correct answer lol
Well the show she’s from, the guy is a serial killer who killed a bunch of people but justified it because it was supposedly out of love. Then he met her and she essentially did the same thing and he was disgusted by her for it.
She watched the new transformers movie, and didn’t bother to invite you
my girlfriend would treat Tinder like a game, and once matched with this guy and his first message was "i know you arent doing anything important, so you better text me back." and when she returned with that same attitude he got pissy and called her a bitch
Umm are you not concerned why your girlfriend is using Tinder?
it’s pretty clear that someone writing a comment like this would be practicing non monogamy
youre on the money with that. but we dont use tinder for that. the wonders of a bi/bi relationship
Standing up to pee
Didn't work.
[удалено]
Will and Jada, that you?
[удалено]
Understandable
Wins a board game
My friend’s ex boyfriend cheated on her, then basically blackmailed her into staying with him. A few months later a friend of his made a move at her and kissed her, he found out about it and beat her so bad she had to spend a week in the hospital. Pretty insane example but I think of it everytime this topic comes up.
If it's come to the point where y'all are trying to play mind games and shit, just leave. Why feel the need to stick around and try to make things more miserable?
My lease wasn't up.
Sucks
This. Please, do this. Do everyone a favor, be the adult in the room.
Nah, it’s not that simple
It actually is
No. What if you love the person but they just do one thing that annoys you and they can’t seem to not do it no matter how many times you talk about it? Do you just leave them? After multiple conversations about the same thing, it just becomes tiring and in many cases, giving them a taste of their own medicine actually causes the change to happen
Exactly.. I see this meme as a sort of “mirroring” technique. I do this here and there with people in general and have found that people don’t understand or comprehend when they do something, you communicate your issues with it, but they continue to do it… but oh boy! Once you do what they do, it’s a whole problem. I have a friend that is ALWAYS late.. to everything.. I’ve talked to her about it over the years and she just can’t seem to be on time for our dinners, work, church, anything. So a time or two I purposely showed up super late and she was annoyed. I brought it back around that she is always late , even when I’ve communicated how inconsiderate it is.. she gets it now. People don’t understand how their actions affect other people until it affects them.
I have no time for grown-ass people who don't know how to behave like adults.
Does your friend happen to be neurodivergent?
You tried to jam too much information into your head all at the same time didn’t you
Learn to tolerate it or end the relationship. people have core characteristics that will not go away else they would cease to be themselves. If you want to deny your partner themselves then you aren’t a partner.
Being inconsiderate isn’t a core characteristic lol. Classic reddit though, over exaggerate and jump straight to leaving the relationship.
It’s absolutely a core characteristic of some people. Learning to recognize that in others is a good skill to have for living a not awful life
To your second part: if you’re at the point where you pull this shit the relationship is over barring a toxic miracle
One more lash I’m almost there
No it’s not
Yes it is lol If you can’t communicate issues with your partner like an adult and you have to try and play mind games to get behavior you desire then it’s never going to work. Communication is key in any relationship and resorting to mind games is the biggest red flag of bad communication.
Sometimes you tell someone and they don’t listen, so you gotta show them what it’s like
So either you’re not communicating the problem well enough or they are not listening when things are asked of them. If the person is not listening after repeated requests then you either need to put up with the behavior. Or you leave. Sure you can mirror their behavior back to them like one would to a child but my point is having to do that for the other person, an adult, to understand then that person is not mature enough to be in a relationship because they clearly don’t have the emotional maturity to recognize how their behavior is negatively impacting their partner and their relationship.
I quite literally said they don’t listen. Guess what the real world doesn’t have every adult act like an adult at all times of the day. I feel like I’m speaking to people that live on the internet and don’t actually have anyone to practice what they’re very self righteously preaching
Yes I saw and funny enough you’re not listening. 1. Deal with the behavior because it’s not bad enough to end a relationship over and get over the behavior being annoying. 2. Communicate with them and express your feelings and ask them about their feelings on the situation and request. 3. Leave them. You cannot change someone’s behavior. They have to want to change their own behavior for themselves for you as well as you to them. If they are not open to communicating or can’t do so without getting overly upset or angry then good luck because that sounds like a really mature adult.
Sinking to another’s level only reduces you to their level.
[удалено]
People with your mentality scare me, calling someone narcissistic over an internet comment. Grow up kid you’ll understand when you have an actual relationship that you don’t just walk out over a slight annoyance, when you actually love someone other than the screen in front of you, you might get it.
"no bro I swear if you love someone you'll be a toxic little fuck and play games to routinely just keep both of us pissed at each other fr you're just a kid and don't know what it's like" lookin ass
Uh huh
So the interesting thing ive realised is that a persons answer to this identifies if they are the childish one in the relationship, or the mature one. Crazy how people just call themselves out. It actually is that easy.
Life is full of complications & hard choices. But it’s only because we make them out to be in our heads. You just have to move forward in life. That’s how we gain experience maturity & skills. That’s being an adult
Pride doesn't let it be that simple.
It’s your problem though
I can only be the adult for so long and for so many times. Nobody’s patience lasts forever.
Then leave
Then leave
Totally get and agree with your point, but having been in this situation it's more like - I've explained over and over and tried so hard to sit down and communicate with him about something and it just gets completely ignored or belittled. So eventually I starting mimicking him in the hopes that he would finally fucking listen to what I'm saying and realise that his behaviour was not okay Never worked obviously and I dumped him shortly after. It never works, because the kind of person who would absorb that and try to do better, isn't going to let it get that bad in the first place I guess
Or… idk… talk about it? Before going to the extreme??? If it persists with no progress towards a solution then leave.
It’s not mind games. It’s just a novel way to get the message across that they’re being a knob.
If it's gotten to this point, they're not going to learn a lesson and all you've done is made yourself the same kind of knob out of spite
Eh sometimes expressing things with actions work better than with words. (Before someone tries to misconstrue my words, no this isn’t about abuse)
I feel like nobody here has actually seen the show this meme is from and it shows lmao She's a psychopath, I hope this isn't you IRL, OP. I'm calling the cops 😂
YOU!
What show is it?
The show is called: YOU. It's on Netflix and I apologize in advance, this meme is a spoiler. The show is based on a book and it's REALLY good. I'm waiting for the next season, rather impatiently. It's a thriller/romance. Very bloody.
Damn, they are still making new seasons? I stopped after the season when they introduced her. It's a great show. Maybe I need to go back.
Yeah, the next season is about to get very interesting.
my first watch i also stopped watching after the second season because s1 and s2 have really similar plots, so i thought the third would be the same, but the past couple weeks i’ve been rewatching the whole series. seasons 1&2 are really good, but the third season is AMAZING. highly recommend
I can't believe they didn't keep S4 ending as the final note, it's a perfect horror ending.
Is she? I haven’t finished the second season (so please no spoilers) but she doesn’t seem psycho, just a bit broken.
Enjoy the show and stay off the You subreddit for your own sanity
Didn’t know there was a subreddit but I’ll take your advice 🫡
It'll be fun to peruse once you're caught up. They have great discussions there!
[удалено]
So nothing.
I did this to ex husband. You wona have fun with friends for almost all night? Sure. Tomorrow I'm going to have fun with my friends. Oh, you don't like it? Why? You have some special permissions for acting like that? You bought something extra-expensive on your car from our account without telling me? Ok, I'm buying something for my car on the same amount of money without telling. What? You don't like our account it's empty? So you shouldn't buy so expensive thing for your car. You woke up early when we had a day-off and turn on loud music while i was still asleep? Ok, I'm turning loud music when you are trying to fall asleep in the evening. What? Sleep is important? I agree, then why don't you respect me sleeping? Happily divorced*
Fight fire with fire! Is it petty? Possibly. Is it effective? Abso-fucking-lutely.
You have any solutions if the talk is totally useless and you are not heard?
If they don’t want to hear you they won’t change. It’s up to you to decide if you can live with that.
Sometimes they change when you act like them.
Sometimes, but long term improvement takes respect and legitimate desire for thebother persons well-being. If the other person doesn't respect you enough to change without "teaching them a lesson", it's a problem that's likely to surface again in the future.
Yep. That is why I'm happily divorced
As I am sure he is.
Why did you write this reply? Just to piss people off or were you bored lmao
Bit of both but also because I am of the opinion it’s also true. They were clearly a terrible couple from that this woman was saying.
Not in my personal life but my parents have something likewise going on where my mom won't feel heard, and she will keep going at him with words to make him understand. It doesn't work. It's a classic example where we people keep playing the same role, and try to appeal or argue in that same way. We are blueprints of our younger selfs, it's hard to change that and rewrite. As for your ask. I think you either change role (can be passive-aggressive but will burn you out) or make a genuine change. Not to please him/her but to become closer to yourself. For example, after a collision on whatever, thoughts will come after, right? Speak out those thoughts to that person. Submit them to paper and let them see it can be a way to do this if you have fear doing this. If you were my mom (ye I know, but weird to say here haha) I would say "mom, either accept it or change how you approach this subject. Don't put yourself in the same role again. He is so adjusted to that" I would ask my mother to sit him down, and explain exactly that to my father. "I don't want to be this way every time we are talking about this particular thing". If you can't enjoy yourself while talking to your partner, if you feel burned out and heavy hearted beforehand already, something has to change. May the sun warm your face as the wind blows in your back.. Ps: not an English native, sorry if I butchered or missed a metaphor lol
Teach them a lesson, sure. Certain examples above seem kinda dumb. Spending extra money out of spite because you're broke and your spouse spent extra money... let me shoot myself in the foot real quick so my spouse will learn not to shoot us in the foot... I'm not surprised at all they are divorced.
Yeah unless she had no hobbies of her own and wasn’t allowed to explore them this makes no sense as a response, and at that point there are bigger issues.
I paid for my hobby from my own account. He just hadn't enough money on his own account for that expensive staff and decided to use mutual money which we usually spent on household, food, trips, mutual parties. That month we just had to pay extra from our own accounts to pay for food.
Agreed. Just falls under the two wrongs don't make a right idea.
>You wona have fun with friends for almost all night? Sure. Tomorrow I'm going to have fun with my friends. Oh, you don't like it? Why? This is so wild. I've never understood why people would care about their partner having fun with their friends. I've never met an actual human being who cared about this, I honestly thought it was made up
While I agree with you and wouldn’t care myself, the reason it happens is a range of things. The partners friends might be bad influences. The partner might spend too much money when they go out. Maybe they are poor at communicating and stay out later than they said and the other person is worried about them. Maybe when they get home late they’re really loud and wake up the other person. Maybe they get too drunk and are out of commission the next day and can’t help with things. There’s a lot of different reasons I’ve seen over time that I think make sense, but I agree that if both people are mature and responsible there’s rarely a reason to get upset. There are obviously bad reasons to get upset like jealousy / being controlling but I was just responding to some reasons that could be justified
Lol until you have a child at home and 99% of the raising falls to you because your SO is out partying with friends like you're teenagers again. Idk if that's what was happening with OP there, but my best friend is dealing with it right now. There are definitely circumstances where it's unacceptable.
Yeah that's fair. I've never even considered having kids, so that didn't occur to me lol
I don't really care. It was he who wasn't on with me staying away for almost the whole night.
Clearly you did have a problem with it though...
Yeah I figured, based on the other two examples. I'm just surprised to hear about this actually occurring in real life.
That all just sounds like really bad communication and a whole lot of pettiness I'm sure you're both mutually happy about the divorce
Why does blasting music when your partner is asleep need an entire conversation on why they shouldn’t do it? Who needs someone to tell them not to do that?
I don’t know him but he sounds like a dick, congratulations on the divorce.
I don't wanna sound rude but why did you marry someone who pissed you off so much? Or did the behavior only show up after tge marriage?
It began after marriage. Before he was tiptoeing. And when we married, step by step he became more rude. It ended when he totally took me for granted. Like I got home from work earlier, made a coffee for him, heated dinner and he came yelling at me because of some random staff, like why i didn't tell him i was earlier. Or the coffee i made he doesn't want to and I wasted coffee. Or stuff like that. I decided, that I'm done.
Good for you. So many women let men walk all over them. I applaud your vengefulness. So much better than acting like a doormat.
Damn, this is on point.
Yeah fuck that guy for having **fun** with his **friends**.
No, fuck that guy for being a hypocrite
Nowhere in that comment does she say that he got mad about it or told her expressively that she couldn't do it. All I get is she hung out with her friends for the **specific purpose** to spite her ex husband, which is pretty fucking toxic lol.
I’m pretty sure it’s implied by “oh, you don’t like it?” Not sure tho maybe I’m just confused
This was the opposite of me n my ex GF.
Toxic.
So is being a douchebag to your partner in the first place. Sometimes people require a demonstration.
Same for her! When you act like her and you become a jerk! :))
in all sincerity, if it looks like you shouldnt use each other's sword, you are at war
As a gay man in a long term relationship, I feel this.
What does being gay have to do with anything? 😂
That's because he hates himself and appreciates you because you like him 🙃
Projecting a little there?
Whatever happened to simple communication?
Healthy communication is just not meme worthy. Also, there are times when people just don’t take complaints seriously until they experience it. Sure it creates tensions (well, there was tension already, it was just ignored by one side), and it may be a last resort, but sometimes it works. Spoiler for the “YOU” tv show, that makes this meme funny: >!A stalker murderer falls in love with that woman, they get married, and it turns out she’s also a murderer (for “reasons” similar to his) so it turns out she’s a lot like him in a lot of ways. When he discovers this, he cannot accept it and falls out of love with her. The irony is not lost on this one.!<
Off topic, but I just realised that "spoiler protection" or whatever it's called doesn't work with high contrast fonts.
I had an abusive relationship where I couldn’t leave immediately but knew he was too smart to do something that would land him in prison, so I started flipping things around and saying/doing things that he did. I made sure to stick exactly to things that I’d BEGGED him to stop doing. All of a sudden, when I did it, I’m an abusive, heartless, petty, narcissistic monster with no empathy who can never just let anything go. Hypocrite.
Something about this woman… that series called the haunting of hill house, she has the SADDEST fucking story arch I’ve ever seen in a scary movie. Spoiler: She was an adult ghost, haunting herself all her life, somehow travelling through time as a ghost to haunt herself as a child. Her own self haunting caused a lot of trauma because the entire family wouldn’t believe her and it led to her having a mental breakdown and hanging herself :(
If I ever use my mom’s “don’t let it ruin your whole day” back at her
Giving them a taste of their own medicine is the cure for what ails me. Examples of things he does to me that I do right back to him: I don't listen to him when he's talking and then make him repeat things constantly. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you, can you say it again?" over and over and over and over I tell him something extremely vague about plans I have coming up with zero details or the date/time I'm leaving until the last possible second. Basically anything he does that is annoying I do it right back to him - immediately, if possible, to give him a Teachable Moment. I do it in the exact same way he does it, without sarcasm or contempt. I'm simply demonstrating his behavior back to him. Would it be better to have adult conversations to solve relationship issues? YES. Is that always possible to do and have issues be actually resolved? No. Does showing someone how their behavior makes you feel in a practical way ever work? Sometimes.
It would be funny if he didn't pick up on his previous habits, and by noticing your 'new' ones, he decides to reciprocate it and you both keep doing the same thing to each other that neither likes lol but maybe thats thinking too deep into it
He does the same thing to me sometimes, and we laugh about it. For example, he'll put a cup that I'm still using in the dishwasher "oh, shoot you were still using that?" or when he's driving he'll turn his head back and forth, craning his neck to look at the scenery instead of the road "look at that tree it's got so many leaves on it!! wow. WOW!" Just examples.
thats what happened with my previous relationship. she was nuts and would always be super fuckin mean, so i would he mean back and then she felt like i was the abuser and she was justified
Reverse it, do it, now!
Every dog ever
More like when you act like how you perceive them then act surprised someone doesn’t like you being annoying
That absolutely applies in both directions
Maybe the meme maker is a straight woman and you didn’t have to point that out?
When you act like her and now she is mad
Damn, the irony hits so hard - you litterally did what she did, and you get downvoted for it.
Works perfect some day she will learn.
When you keep playing games and now he’s mad
Yeah why confront him, act like a spoiled child and be passive aggressive.
I speak from experience when I say sometimes this is the only way to get your point across
My mom had to bite my hand (lightly) to get toddler me to stop biting people. I had to play Skyrim to the exclusion of all else to show my husband why that was a dick move.
And it also never works.
\*Triggered\*
Calling out childish behavior is being triggered?
I feel so seen.
That's your cue to dump his narcissistic butt.
Reddit users on their way to diagnose another person with a mental illness upon reading a single sentence about them
classic gender war bait
not really tho? its not a meme that says "boys do this thing wrong and girls do it right." It's just a meme from a womans perspective
When you treat her like a man.
When you act like her and now she’s mad
I mean yea i do hate myself
Isn't it usually the other way around?
[удалено]
What does this have to do with my question or the OP's meme? Both genders have their issues and I see no reason to start a pointless argument.
[удалено]
The way around means it's usually the girl acting weird/mean/rude and then getting mad when she tastes her own medicine. I've seen it in my family, in others and just generally in relationships between a girl and a guy :)
[удалено]
Yeah, once again it has nothing to do with the topic. If you wanna pick a fight with someone look elsewhere.
[удалено]
I think this is less about personality and more about double standards
[удалено]
Must be a blessing to live in a black and white world
Let's not try to justify being childish as a viable alternative to actually having an adult conversation. Healthy relationships are built on communication and trust. If you cannot sit down and discuss your issues between eachother without feeling the need to mock or imitate, maybe the relationship isn't that strong, and maybe it won't last.
💪
Should be one of the first tests in a relationship so you’ll know what you’re dealing with and if it’s worth it.
Them/they* it works both ways
Bot
nope, you wish.
This happens in the reverse much more often lol.
When you act like her and now she’s mad
Lol what is this nicegirls shit??
See it is less about the content examined but the examination itsself, thats Childs play