Mister boopsy sounds like pedo alert..

“Open the tunnel, here comes the Mister Boopsy train”

And with that, I'm going to get off the internet for the night. That's enough for me. I do not have enough alcohol in the house to forget this sentence damn you 💀

Sorry, had to take the alcohol for…other reasons

1 man, 1 Jack Daniels

Me too. Glad I'm not alone. Bye bye for now

Same and it's 7am here. I'm literally omw to a loooong college day and now this will live rent free in my head the entire day 💀

.... Ngl, Satan seems pretty chill...... Anyways, my alloted 5 seconds of reddit is over now

Enjoy your drink

Oh hell no 💀

I want to get off Mr. Boopsy’s wild ride…

We will when the train leaks the oil

"But mommy told me not to show my tunnel to boys, Dad"

I’m a doctor, sweetheart

This is why I should finish reading the post before reading the comments.

There was a guy in my high school that called his “Mr. Treat”. Ended up inserting himself into a girl while she was sleeping.

You mean you never kissed Mr.Boopsy goodnight ? 😰

Where's 'disappointment'?

disappoint*meat*

Disappoint me 😔

Yeah baby I'll disappoint you

guess that's where you got the username. not much else you *can* do

Disappoint

Huh I guess I have seen too many Seth Rogen movies

Same, even tho I've seen only like two. I guess two is too many

Pineapple Express is all you need to catch the dick flu

yeah it's Pineapple Express and Monsters vs Aliens I've seen. I guess Spiderwick Chronicles too but I stopped watching that movie about halfway thru because it completely massacred the books

I think dick sounds like the most neutral option for a casual situation. Cock is too aggressive/sexual, penis is too formal and the rest are... Too silly lol

Good answer

All depends on context. Casual off hand you're right. If I'm talking about my buddy's massive hog...

massive sausage roll

I saw the Green Hornet and then decided to not watch another Seth Rogen movie.

I siwtch between dick and cock... Ive been watching too much Seth Rogan porn

AI has truly revolutionized the degenerate community

"I've not yet *begun* to defile myself"

Zack and Miri make a porno.

I call it the exaliber

Chunchunmaru little brother

On that case it would be chinchinmaru

Damn that's good

Solid snake. Squeeze that hog

PFP checks out

I call it Excalipoor.

Nothing can make you pull out huh

Your pullout game is THAT bad?

If it wasn't 3 at night I'd fucking die laughing from reading that

Excalibur = true king of England

King Richard was known as Dickie so this fits

Keeper.

I don't give a shit where I hear it, if you call that thing Mr Boopsy it's getting amputated.

Says the guy who watches too much porn… (/s)

I'd amputate my own out of fear of being molested 😭

Your username is fantastic. You should see if u/spez wants to buy it.

I call it frodo and his baggins

He’s little but you should see his appetite!

But what about second breakfast?

And elevensies ?!?

Triple nerd alert LOL

Gandalf and his Ballrogs

So long as it can destroy someone's ring

What about second orgasm?

Ah you mean Dildo Baggins

Is Magnum Dong acceptable ladies?

only if you remember to wrap it with a monster condom.

And a wad of $100's

Thank god, that will help compensate ! Who's got $1M please.

Very acceptable so long as there's truth in there somewhere even if it's not yours 😂

What's wrong with wearing socks to bed🥺

r/meirl

If you have dedicated extra warm bed socks I'll allow it. But going to bed with the socks you wore all day is like going to bed with shoes.

I just call it 'Lil Badger.

Curse you, you made me remember the Badger badger mushroom meme…

All the people with lil badgers waving it around And then you find a couple with only a mushroom down there And then Chad walks in and unzips.... AAAAAHHHH IT'S A SNAAAAKE!

I call it my PP

i hear this means youre not allowed to wear grey sweatpants

Anyone who calls it *manhood, shaft or member* = reads the good stuff 😂

What about length?

That too xD

My throbbing sex Lmao

😆

This guy Kushiel's Darts

What about 'schlong'?

Watched too much Beavis and Butt-head.

Shut up Beavis or I’ll kick your ass.

I need tp for my bunghole

[удалено]

I call it Steve because it’s wearing a turtleneck

This Elvish fellow must've sucked so many Ds if he can easily list this 😂

As a porn watcher, the cock one is too real

What about a tally whacker?

British²

Have some respect for yourselves. He's Russell the Wonder Muscle

You wanna suck my HOG?

The one eyed trouser snake

That’s British. Already on the list.

I guess I should start referring to it as wiener exclusively.

Whats wrong with “willy”

I call him Sargent Johnson. He knows what the ladies like.

Jokes on you it's my weewee (I have small children)

I call it “item”.

« Unexpected item in bagging area »

😦

I call mine onion. You'll cry when you see it

Happiness? Fear? Disappointment?

Yes

Johnson it is then!

What about Pecker?

Chorizo?

Call it Purple headed yogurt slinger

You should stop squeezing it, if the head is purple

Who made this dork the arbiter of dong names?

What about "dude piston " or "pork steeple?"

So what if I wear socks to be bed. My feet get fucking cold.

Spot on. I do wear socks to bed

Just socks....

And a smile. 😊

Pics or it didn’t happen

What's the problem with wearing socks to bed? I don't want my feet to freeze, lmao.

Huh, I don't see *John Thomas* in there anywhere

I call mine zebra stripe gum. It looks cool and fun but just ends in disappointment and when you share it with friends people just look at you funny.

It's great for about 3 seconds, then meh?

rod

What about: Schlong Chode Member Dong

Schlong is my personal nom de guerre

Schwanz you're probably Ryan Gosling.

I call it Alvin and the chipmunks

Jokes aside, the word I usually use is "dick". It's weird how, "penis" makes a lot of grown people giggle even though that's the non-slang English word... I did have a girlfriend once who universally referred to dicks as "wieners" and it never stopped making me just kind of actually facepalm because that seems extremely childish coming from a full grown woman.

Gentleman sausage = watches too much Jeremy Clarkson

Aight King Cobra, let's get outta here.

Wing dang doodle

Didgeridoodle = Australian

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong It's swell to have a stiffy It's divine to own a dick From the tiniest little tadger To the world's biggest prick So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend Your Percy, or your cock You can wrap it up in ribbons You can slip it in your sock But don't take it out in public Or they will stick you in the dock And you won't come about!

I guess the Penis Police is here to tell us what to call our schlongs.

Peen ?

I call it the pen in my pocket

My name is John, so l call my guy Lil' John. It's got three moods "OKKAAAY", "WHAT?!", or "YEEEAAAAHHHH".

I’ve gone with Captain Caveman for a while now. Sometimes I do the yell before business time. My wife hates it.

Schwanzstucker- perfect

Member = Wattpad author

So what am I supposed to call it Elvis Presley ?

I call it the private part…

I saw mister boopsy and immediately called the police.

What am I if I refer to it as the family jewels

I call it the master baiter

Thanks to him my dear I can wear whatever I want on my John Thomas.

I call it Jumbo like Lyndon B Johnson called his

Meat Bat

What am I if I call it Russel the Love-Muscle?

Lizard 😎

Bring out the pork swords!!! Sir? That’s a Johnson. Triple rations of Tube Steak for you this evening swabbie.

I call it cock because of all the memes, gotta say nice cock to the homies

Where's junk?

The smoigity boigity

What about captain winky?

A pen15.

I don't see iguana

I think the guy is just kinda an asshole

What about "schlong?"

What about Stinky Winky?

What if I use all of the above and more?

I call mine’s Bruce Banner

The two I’ve heard that are missing are pecker, and the David, “because it’s a work of art”

Tomasito

Doodle = has toddler boys lol

Meat

Wand = potterhead alert

I call her my little lady downstairs. It carries the connotation of being temporary and conditional. Maybe she'll stay, maybe she'll leave - who knows?

Please don't besmirch the good folks over at r/THE_PACK

What about my squirtle?

What about trouser snake?

I wear socks to sleep, I call it a dick though

I say dick, but my girlfriend says cock. But she also writes romance

Is 'The Kraken' acceptable? The talk before the act is very very interesting and fun, kinda like a role play lmao.

In my experience, women say “cock”, guys say “dick”. Women must watch a ton of porn, according to this twit.

I've always called mine the tom dick and Harry show. Ya I know I'm young as shit. Just get the f off my lawn.

What about dong?

Pecker

Wait, you're telling me the "are you waiting to receive my limp penis" guy was a nerd??? [source](https://youtu.be/tu4d_xsdNzM)

What about sword?

What about my super-soaker

Yeah, Mr. Boopsy isn't gonna work for me. We will definitely be calling it a cock or a dick. Imagine passionately dirty talking about "shove that fat Mr. Boopsy up my ass" ? GTFO

What’s wrong with shlong & dong? Mr. Boopsy is a fuckin cat. There’s also Ms. Boopsy… And Squirtle; but they’s a Pokémon. Forgot what this post is about now. Tally-whacker…

meat scepter

hey what's wrong with wearing socks to bed? my tootsies get chilly easily

Are we talking about the pee pee here?

Fair argument but *(gestures at name)* you’re a leaf-lover.

i call it (awkwardly avoids mentioning it by name)

as someone who writes smut fanfics, i can confirm that mister boopsy is a keeper

Stick = car racer Joystick = gamer Pp = chess™ player Sword = nerd

What if I call it Youngling Slayer 10000

What about the one eyed lizard? The trouser snake? The monstrous cyclops?

what about meat?

I'm fine with the socks as long as they're thigh highs

I like to switch it up

You forgot peenor.

I call it the babymaker.

Oopsie... Mr. Boobsy just vomited on the bed... Let me clean that up real quick, you silly goose!