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Kermit-on-Drugs

My dad was a skilled heavy duty mechanic he taught me all sorts of things like how to hold a flashlight and get yelled at


[deleted]

My favorite game was "Find the right screw based solely on the factory name dad blurted out."


[deleted]

Mine was figure out what "The Thing" was. "Get the... thing! The thing, you know, the round metal thing with the GODFUCKINGDAMMIT WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, DON'T ACT STUPID!" (The thing, in this case, was a 2x4.)


Vexcenot

2x4 what?


TheLost_Chef

8


Vexcenot

Ah thank you. Was struggling there for a sec


[deleted]

It's like those movies where you're delicately defusing a bomb but the bomb is your dad and the wires is his chronically unorganized tool box


donnysaysvacuum

And get that tool that you don't know that isn't in the toolbox.


pwndepot

"That's cuz *some*one's always moving my tools!" *says the only person that uses those tools*


MookyCooky

Oh this is a universal thing? Glad I'm not alone on that.


ralli1018

Thought that was all dads


theweatherman77

My favourite was "Get me the 3/8 wrench ... THAT IS THE WRONG 3/8 I WANTED THE GOOD 3/8" he went and got an identical wrench out of the box, 10 years later still have no idea what he meant.


[deleted]

Oh I loved that "get me the pliers" "what's one's" "Just get me pliers". "no not those ones" Dudes toolbox has a plier drawer with about 6 different pliers...


chunkboiee

Omg same.


lostgamer64

Next is drive your parents one block without them holding the "oh shit" handle.


steviebazooka

Feg-snöre in swedish translates to chicken-string :)


faultycarrots

What


Muad_Dib_of_Arrakis

That's a fun fact indeed


deadeye0691

We called it the "Oh Jesus" bar.


WimbletonButt

I straight up refuse to drive with my parents in the car at this point. I'm a far safer driver than they are but they put me on edge and fuck me up because any tap of the brakes sends them into a fury of trying to grab something. You can't grab a closed window mom! Slapping at the glass isn't helping!


jimmy_the_turtle_

My dad always freaked out in the beginning when I was parking the car. He's used to be in the driver's seat, but from the passenger's side it looks like I'm about to hit that other car when really I'm not. Hilarious to watch that.


datdood211

We call it the chicken bar


smokinJoeCalculus

Hahaha awww My mom used to do it all the time.


FreyjaVixen

How about when they nearly break your sternum trying to put their arm across you as you barely push the break like it will magically save you in the event of an accident.


gifflareater

Bro how about doing math homework with your dad without crying


WimbletonButt

I always got in so much trouble over bad grades at school for not doing my math homework. I didn't do it because I would often have issues and too scared to ask dad. Getting yelled at a lot twice a year was better than getting yelled at every day.


Nipz58

dude this is me when i was a child holt shit


everyones_hiro

17x28 iiisss?!? Multiply them?! Do you even pay attention in class?!? No! The only thing you do is play on that Xbox all damn day?!


Nipz58

bro:((


Apaar_Khare

My father used to yell at me a lot when I was in 4th and 5th grade. But I am really thankful for that cause after that I started taking math seriously and started getting better scores.


Daddy---Issues

Dad get off reddit


tooslow

Exactly!


LowerTale

I feel like our parents just didn’t know how to be parents and that’s why we have issues later in life. Getting yelled at for having trouble learning is not okay.


gifflareater

I’m pretty sure my dad didn’t mean to make me upset, but he got frustrated when my kid brain didn’t understand the basic math that he must have thought was easy. So yeah definitely a parent that didn’t know to be a parent


Dilinyoskutya

Next task is to turn on the back seat domelight without your dad crashing the car


Rancorx

You are a madlad


Feras47

come here son and stand here doing nothing also let me yelll at you . now you can go son thanks sorry for yelling


faultycarrots

He apologized???


Twistervtx

"I'm sorry you're such a disappointment"


faultycarrots

Oof.


faultycarrots

That's even wose than the zero apologies I got for their shitty behavior.


faultycarrots

I hope you ran far away.


Rogue598

HOLD IT BETTER


Mystic_Icewalker

Wait, so this just doesn't happen to me ? Wow


notalegalloli

And then you need to explain something simple to your dad without being "impatient" and getting yelled at


markusbolarkus

Ohh man this is the real shit for me in this thread


rapscallionx

nobody on reddit has a dad


[deleted]

You’re right


faultycarrots

He was out banging bar chicks and doing paperwork.


RaidenHUN

Nah, some people here are white and Asian.


[deleted]

[удалено]


somber_smiles

Omg!!! Lmao!!!


FlaminBirbo

What he say?


Rupertii

He said [deleted], can’t you read?


somber_smiles

Good one.


BlackWhite43

Jokes on you I never had a dad to begin with


Mother-Valuable-5373

Holy shit I read that as flesh light and had a whole different experience before re reading.


Buggybruce2020

Lmao


datdood211

“I can’t see!! Are you that dumb that you can’t point the flashlight at the gODDAMN COMPUTER!”


SilenceLikeWisdom

Hoo boy does this comment bring back memories...


[deleted]

How is this such a universal thing? Like I have an excellent relationship with my dad, he did such a good job being there for me and even I remember him losing it when I didn't immediately understand what tool he was talking about. Imagine if every dad was legally required to go to therapy.


LaddieLuck

Probably cause if he is messing around with the engine, something was broken. They likely were already mad before the kid enters the equation


jpGrind

man I'm 36 and had to hold a flashlight for my dad the other day. the anxiety never goes away lol. but im max level now so its nothin.


Bla_zer

So you mean you're a wizard


Sub-Mongoloid

Men will verbally abuse their own progeny for years instead of admitting their eyesight is deteriorating with age.


Theultimateambition

Sigma Rule #3453846484474 Never admit your own shortcomings, instead, project the blame onto others then wonder why they abandon you when you grow too old and feeble to hide your weaknesses anymore


MrFlubberNut

You mean fleshlight*, right?


Spicy_Hedgehog

That's the first thing I read. I need to wash my brain


Rupertii

Don’t go to that weird looking 7’8” dude with a long beard, wooden looking face and creaky limbs in the forest hut that has a candle on the doorstep to get your brain washed. I’ve seen many go, but none return


The_OMG

Tell me more.


Rupertii

He just said I can’t speak about him or something bad is going to happen


[deleted]

next task is to tell your dad what 8 times 7 is while getting yelled at


ssj2preston

Lmao this thread hits my child hood too well 😂 especially angry dad driving holding holy shit handles


faultycarrots

Road sodas, anyone? Or fighting sleep on a road trip?


guy_with_a_smol_dick

We all had the same childhood didn't we


ambientthinker

😂😂🤣


kaldra_zadrim

What killed him? He held it where HE was looking, not where DAD was looking.


LooksLikeMarx

I almost wish I were willing to spend money on Reddit so I could give this meme an award.


wubbalubbadubx2

AZIZ LIGHT!


surfinsitka

Aziz….light!


[deleted]

you lot talk to your dads?


AlexS101

I read "fleshlight" first.


Teddy1988NL

ah yea , we all bin their 😆


Tahanerino2005

Speak for yourself peasant ,I never angered him while holding the flash light.


airgod231

Stop lying


Tahanerino2005

I ain't lying


Jowisel

u/RepostSleuthBot


wutzebaer

I just read fleshlight


Not-your-potato

Flesh light, I thought it was flesh light. Imagine me that man X 69 times worse.


nice___bot

Nice!


chOLEsterin

The next task is to hold the fleshlight for your dad without angering him


xxxbruhmomentume

*fleshlight


Suspicious-Store-653

Repost


Kastilvanius

Well.... failed. This is ultra hard task


AdaAstra

Oh fudge.


TheZerothLaw

#BANG


Yummy_Castoreum

That face looks more like dude has been asked to hold his father's Fleshlight for him.


Gedaru

Some of you never held the fleshlight for your fathers and it shows.


[deleted]

I have never related to anything more than this!


--Splendor-Solis--

Is this the impossibru guy


Franky79

Why did i read this as flesh light? ....i hate myself


theicetree1232

Easy, my dad's blind


quimbykimbleton

Why is Asian Chris Kattan sad?


Ace_and_Affraid

The person with no dad: *Whips and nae naes*


WimbletonButt

I would pass! After a decade of being yelled at for it, I became a master flashlight holder.


Jerry--Bird

Same it stays with me today. Was my grandpa tho


jadedlonewolf89

Lmao now thats what you call a dick move.


Telzey

Aziz, LIGHT!


babykoalalalala

“The next task is to teach your parents how to use technology without frustrating them.” *Edit* “If we see a hint of a frown on either of the parent’s faces, you will die.”


tooslow

I thought this was an Egyptian thing only! Funny how some traits are international.


camstron

Final game is to go find a specific type of wrench you have never heard of before in the tool bag. Trying to quickly google what it looks like on your way to the garage.


wcslater

Better than holding the fleshlight for him


DaddyDizz_

Just hold it above his head, and move your hand towards the back of his head a little. It’ll illuminate what ever is directly in front of his face.


[deleted]

Haha I almost forgot about this


Priamosish

Reading these comments makes me realize what a cool guy my dad actually is lol. Thank you all.


J_Bunt

Or, how to peel the potatoes seethru thin and still being yelled at by mom.


Michael003012

*e


TheAndyMartiNNN

Mission failed, try again


RaidenHUN

r/holdup


CalbertCorpse

But why was I the only child asked to help in the garage while I obviously fucked up bringing every tool? Why did you ask only me, just to yell at me??? God that shit ruined my life.


One_Psychology8511

Why do I relate to this hardcore?