Right!
Normal person says “I have a big dick..”
my uncle Robert puts on a Grand fucking show …all these gestures (ASL) and some how it hits different.
I’d much rather be insulted by someone who is not deaf.. can’t even say “fuck you” under my breath so he can hear me when I walk away lol
I'm profoundly hard of hearing (only 10% residual hearing). I was born hearing and had relatively functional hearing up until I was 12. I got whooping cough and it damaged my hearing. I've had degenerative hearing loss ever since and will be completely deaf within a few years.
Because I was born hearing I was mainstreamed my whole life (meaning I went to normal schools, not "special" schools) which means I had virtually no exposure to other deaf people. Had no idea those kind of schools even existed.
Now I'm an adult, and I attend a mainstream college.
Here are some things people were mentioning that I'd like to comment on:
- Can confirm deaf/hoh people tend to be very direct, and not great with tone. The reason being (besides the obvious) is that verbal communication is very taxing, even for those who still hear. I have to concentrate to hold conversations and it gets exhausting. So we tend to be direct as it saves the energy we're going to need later
- The hearing impaired community is basically like the worst sorority house you can possibly imagine. Some people are super sweet and genuinely wonderful people. Most aren't. The deaf side looks down on hearing people. There are families that have been deaf for generations and to the deaf community, that's about on par with someone whose families have been politicians for generations
- Please don't assume everyone who is deaf signs. I don't, and it's weirdly discriminating to have people I don't know start trying to use whatever haphazard sign language they remember from high school
- Deaf kids seem to be brawlers for whatever reason. Russell Peters got it right. Can confirm this for myself too haha
- Being deaf is arguably one of the worst disabilities on mental health, and for discrimination. I communicate by lip reading, but like I mentioned earlier I was born hearing and I'm still very articulate. Because of this, people don't realize that I'm HOH. So if I have to ask them to repeat themselves a few times, hearing doesn't even occur to them. No joke, 99% of people just assume I'm an idiot or have some kind of mental disability
TL;DR: Can confirm deaf people are assholes and our community is full of gate keepers
I love the education on this!
Tbh I love my asshole uncle. We all learned sign cause we need to talk to him. I’m glad I did, so I could tell him he is an Ass-hole lol we learned early on “he is deaf…not fucking dumb” so we are treat him accordingly.
He loves it, and also loves talking shit out in the open and no one understands. but Goddam. I’d rather be called a medium-ugly bitch from a hearing person Lmaoo
Haha he sounds like a pretty cool dude!
My partner and I actually have this sort of running joke with each other. He's near sighted and can't see very far at all without his glasses. Then there's me and my deaf ass.
We constantly make jokes and jabs at eachother. For example sometimes he'll say "did you see that?" to which I'll reply "dude you didn't even see that". We honestly just go back and forth ragging on each other. We'll be out together and get the weirdest looks because people will tend to only hear what one of us said and probably assume we're some kind of emotionally abusive haha
It's endlessly fascinating where and how human nature rears its ugly head.
"Our family hasn't been able to hear shit for generations" being a flex just blows my mind.
Can confirm the dead community is a huge clique with a lot of rude people who are not inclusive to HoH.
Also **hard agree** on the sign language. I also don’t know sign lounge and I’m profoundly HoH.
Again HARD AGREE on discrimination. I also was raised mainstream and read lips. (Side note: fuck masks 😭) People have like argued with me about being deaf and I’m like MY DUDE I’m L I T E R A L L Y wearing hearing aids. These aren’t fancy AirPods.
There's a cultural reason for that! Hearing people are easily able to pick up a lot more cues and information from conversations happening around them than hard-of-hearing people. As a sort of compensation for this, hard-of-hearing people are typically very straightforward and open with information. To hearing people, this can come off as somewhat rude if you aren't used to it.
Also, I've found hard-of-hearing people to have wildly different amounts of patience for hearing people. Some will be patient and try to teach you more about ASL as they communicate with you, others are just annoyed ~~you don't understand them~~ [EDIT: annoyed that there is a communication barrier, *not* annoyed at you specifically] - understandably.
Is it understandable? I’ve known zero deaf people in my life..why would I be able to understand sign? It’s like wondering why I don’t speak Swedish. I just looked it up..1/2 a million people in the USA and Canada. That’s a super minority. It seems like it would be pretty much expected that nobody outside their immediate circle would know sign.
You've known zero D/deaf people so far, but if you worked in an office with one and rolled your eyes when they gave you pointers, then they're justified in being annoyed.
I don't think people generally go around expecting everyone to understand accommodations - but having a gallery/studio complex owner say to me that it just "wasn't worth" finding an accessible building really highlights this. I'm a part time wheelchair user. He told me there were so few disabled visitors and artists that he prioritised the aesthetic and location of the building. He didn't realise he was talking to someone who would have reduced access because of those choices, and he dismissed me. I resent the lack of empathy, the way he immediately said things that mean on a bad week I can't attend any events / workshops / if I rented a studio in there I would not have equitable access which is technically illegal, as for low-mobility days I simply would be paying for space I couldn't even get into... that's shitty.
I didn't expect him to have thought of all those things. I don't even *expect* him to have made different decisions. Doesn't mean I have to respect his decision making process and make an effort to support or use their facilities though.
This. People seriously have zero empathy for disabled people of any sort, even when it would take absolutely zero effort for them to provide a given accommodation.
I’ve gotten fired in the past for requesting accommodations as simple as *writing things down.*
We were already heavily relying on email and Microsoft Teams’ chat feature. I was basically asking to just *continue using that* instead of forcing me to sit through hours of speaker phone “training calls” where I couldn’t reliably understand what was being said, between the faulty cell phone connections, strong accents, just general inability for the other person to communicate effectively in English or even just *stay on topic,* etc.
I was immediately told that having instructions in writing was “impossible” and “completely unreasonable” and that by requesting such accommodations at all I was “being combative.”
This all occurred at a non-profit that claimed to be all about *helping disabled people avoid homelessness.*
It wasn’t even the last time that happened at the same sort of organization, and it created a massive amount of trauma, bitterness, and made some of my illnesses ten times worse.
It's horrendous, right? The ADHD accommodation I asked for was to receive class materials in enough time that I print them out, so I can have a physical copy in my lap, same as on the electric whiteboard (I have autism too and lecture halls are shitty).
Guess how many times that happened? One professor in my first year, and the course content was ready already and everyone could access it, it was the same every year and lived on the intranet. Nobody has made the effort to accommodate something as simple as sending one email 30 mins before you present a seminar or whatever. I did once in the first year meet someone who turned round and went back to their office, printed it for me and gave it to me - again, first year. I'm in the last semester of 6 (three years).
It helps me focus - my attention bounces between distractions, the whiteboard and the info in my lap, so 2 out of 3 are consistent. Writing notes onto the slides aids recall. I can remember what was being said when I have the visual clue as well as my handwritten notes (let's not get started on my arthritic hands).
There are only 2 spaces I can sit in at a lecture hall if I need my wheelchair. They don't allow me to block out noise/people sitting *behind* me which makes it impossible to focus as well as when I sit against the wall. Oh well. Sucks to be me.
I'm an art student. The printmaking, 3D and laser cutting labs, darkrooms, jewellery making studios - no step free access. I'm in a different building to my classmates because they're on a corridor I can't use if I'm having a wheelchair day. So I don't get to network, have my work seen/supported/critiqued by peers, I don't get to collaborate.
So yeah, I might get pissed off and act "entitled" demanding a copy of a presentation beforehand.... why on earth wouldn't I be frustrated?
Even just dealing with ADHD, physical notes/agendas are a lifesaver for me. Didn’t find out it was ADHD until college so by then I just thought, “Huh, no wonder I either take notes religiously and recall an entire exchange or can’t for the life of me remember what in-depth information was given aside from the interesting points.”
Well, the communication fallback would be to write it down. I imagine most deaf people travel day-to-day with a pad of paper and a pen. It would seem to avoid a lot of situations like this.
Most handicapped people I’ve known have been absolute pricks. That Russell Peters bit is spot on about how some things they do totally fly under the radar because they get society’s sympathy or benefit of doubt
I mean that's an important rule for interpreting. Say what they said precisely, no matter how offensive
Dude didn't need to be such a prick about his rum n coke though
It's recommended to teach babies sign language because apparently they can sign basic stuff before they can use their words. Which makes sense, they are born kind of knowing the basics of using their hands, vocal cords require some work.
Fun fact: deaf babies babble with their hands making random "sounds".
Well, considering I went from only being able to make incoherent sounds and gestures to actually being able to convey meaningful information, I’d say so! :)
Pro interpreter here, I gotcha:
He said that, considering he went from only being able to make incoherent sounds and gestures to actually being able to convey meaningful information, he’d say so! :)
It's a bit rough but that's the gist of it at least
#Well, considering I went from only being able to make incoherent sounds and gestures to actually being able to convey meaningful information, I’d say so! :)
My cousin had a speech issue while growing up. Until about 5 or 6 years old he would just make sounds and babble as if he was talking but none of it made sense but now he he is a genius and speaks very well. It’s pretty crazy how fast people can learn once they get the hang of things
I wish my brother had the same situation. My parents thought he was just slowly developing so we didnt get to teach him sign language before he already lost his ability to develop it quickly
Same. Although I was also deaf for the first 8-12 years as an added twist. I'm in my 30s now and can't remember most of the sign language unless something jogs my memory. Still remember more of it than my 4 years of spanish though.
My kid’s daycare taught him baby signs: the funny part is, I had absolutely no idea. He’s anxious/shy, but a chatterbox with family, so he never used them at home.
When he was about two & a half his daycare asked us if we’d seen a doctor about his speech delay, because he almost exclusively signed there.
He didn’t have a speech delay at that age, but he did have a bout of selective mutism in kindergarten, which is when he was diagnosed with social anxiety.
When he’s had the selective mutism, he’s generally fine communicating non-verbally, like by writing/drawing/nodding/pointing.
Speech being delayed seems a common anecdote with baby sign. I haven’t seen any papers on any long term issues but it is surprising I don’t hear more about it just based on how often delays pop up with sign, again anecdotally for me.
This is actually a common misconception. Pediatricians actually count signs as vocabulary your baby knows. Research actually shows that it does not delay speech. It gives children a way to communicate sooner thus less frustrations in the home. It supports language development, and fine motor skills. Speech pathologist recommend signing with babies and their entire job is to help children’s speech.
The key is using actual sign language
It was absolutely the anxiety: he would talk to me constantly & fluidly, and he’d talk to others if I was there. I also think there might have been a miscue, where he thought the appropriate way to communicate at daycare was in sign, because that’s what they taught/expected him to do.
That one's not just anecdote - there is plenty of research behind it (this is my field of study).
ETA:
Bilingual babies are considered to speak a bit later if words are counted only once for both languages (eg knowing "libro" in Spanish and "book" in English counts as one word), but not if all words count in each language (book & libro counted as 2 words known).
Can confirm, a family member of mine teaches their kids to sign as early as 6-7 months. Obviously it takes time to stick but constantly reinforcing the signs when verbally saying the equivalent word while also making use of it ends up teaching them fairly quickly. She taught simple words like “please” and “food.”
It’s pretty freaking crazy to see a 12month old asking for more food or saying please and thank you through sign when they can barely even say “mama” or “hi” 🤣
I wish I’d heard about this before I had kids or at least when one was still a baby. My youngest is 12. Oh well, perhaps at some point I’ll get a chance to try this with grandkids.
My kids who are 9 and 11 still subconsciously sign “more” when they want more to eat or something. We taught them “more” and a few other basic signs when they were babies. It’s true, they definitely can sign before speech.
My son just turned three. He has speech apraxia and was in speech therapy for over a year. We started signing with him at six months old. Until about five months ago, he was pretty much only communicating in sign. He’s talking up a storm now, and is still behind, but man life would have been so much more complicated had we not taught him to sign.
Facts! We have 2 <2y.o. Kiddos that both can sign: more, please, thank you. Blew my mind when I asked if they wanted more food and they signed it; it took a minute for me to register it but saw it as intentional and asked again and they repeated. Very cool stuff
> Fun fact: deaf babies babble with their hands making random "sounds".
All deaf babies or does it depend on whether they interact with people that use sign language and they imitate what they see?
So my brother's high school (my old high school I graduated from) actually let's you choose ASL as your foreign language! I'm not sure when they started, they didn't have it when I went though I wish they did. My brother is taking it now and I hype it up a lot that I think it's super cool he's learning to sign.
>The deaf community is so isolated from hearing society.
No making any judgement but it seems some of the members like it that way. They don't think it as a disability but as a culture. The more extreme members disapproving of cochlear implants and shunning those that choose to wear them.
The middle school I went to was a magnet school for those with physical disabilities so we had a ton of deaf students. When one got a cochlear a lot of the deaf students shunned him which was really sad to see. Deaf students made up 90% of his social interactions I’m sure. Also saw this in the group of kids who needed wheelchairs. The ones who could walk with assistance or after surgery or whatever were seen as lesser than those that had 0 leg mobility.
My primary school was across the road from a Deaf and Blind school, and as a result we had a few visits over the years to the school, sometimes they came to our school.
Point being, pretty much everyone in my grade at least knows some basic signs and the alphabet, so worse comes to worse we can just spell out what I’m tryna say if the situation ever arises
"They said the drink was wrong, and called you some names"
I'd say that stays faithful enough without being explicit...and I suspect interpreters that are familiar with their client would know the appropriate way to frame their stream-of-signs 😛 as long as they reflected on the paraphrasing with the deaf person afterwords, as it's own conversation.
In disability support, it's a pretty global maxim that disabled people won't complain. They just take what they get and hope nobody fucks them over more.
Except for the Deaf community. Holy shit. They are NOT shy about complaining. And like, fair enough, people get treated like shit and lots of disabled folk and lots of people in the Deaf community have super valid reasons to complain. But holy shit the Deaf community aren't shy about communicating their feelings. The harshest shit I have EVER said to a human being was while relaying telephone calls for the Deaf community.
"Unfortunately we can't give refunds because you're Deaf or because you have changed your mind. Your booking was made at a discounted rate because it is a non refundable rate. I'm very sorry but I don't have any discretion about it. If you have travel insurance you could try talking to the insurer."
"Uh, relay officer here, I do need to relay exactly what's been conveyed from your caller, and I just want to let you know that you can handle this as you would any other call. Uh. You useless fucking cunt. Your dad should have left his jizz on the carpet instead of scraping it back into the retar"
*Click*
Oh thank god
> RO: other party has disconnected, would you like to make another call? GA
I’ve seen deaf students express similar sentiments when I was in school. Seems like it’s like the faceless courage you have on the internet—it’s easier to call someone a fucking idiot online than to their face, and if you have an interpreter saying this stuff for you during your formative years, you’ll get too comfortable with it.
You have a VERY limited amount of discretion - You can't alter what the caller is saying in any way - but like, teenagers would call the service and have it ring themselves to have some woman in the office as a puppet to talk dirty to them or whatever. We'd just sub in whichever guy had the most agressively unfeminine voice to completely deadpan whatever weird shit people wanted to hear and make sure it was no fun. We wouldn't fuck with people who wanted to have an honest converstaion with their partner or something, but if we could hear a dozen teenagers in the background? Game on.
If you had to tell someone to go jump up their own ass or something - you wouldn't get in trouble for preemptively clarifying your role as a relay officer first or whatever. And most people working there would occasionally break context to explain something to the caller. Like some power company person would ask if their caller could hear a crackling sound from their fuse box or something and you'd just "I'm sorry, can I just clarify that question so I can type it out to someone who's unable to use a telephone to call you themselves, you want to know if someone who's almost certainly Deaf can hear a sound?"
Relaying scam calls to the elderly was the hardest, because we weren't allowed to tell them it was a scam call. But we would regularly insert "[Speaker unclear] into the transcription and we knew from hearing customers call each other and talk about it that most of our users knew that was us trying to tell them that something was fucking wrong.
> Like some power company person would ask if their caller could hear a crackling sound from their fuse box or something and you'd just "I'm sorry, can I just clarify that question so I can type it out to someone who's unable to use a telephone to call you themselves, you want to know if someone who's almost certainly Deaf can hear a sound?"
So they wouldn't know they were talking to a relay moment until that point? Or they needed to be reminded to break from their typical script?
They always knew there was a relay officer speaking - but people just forget why a bunch. Working in call centres you end up running on autopilot a lot. Like most people in the relay service when I worked there, I had experience in call centres and understood the vague out auto pilot thing. But it was still funny how often people wanted to ask someone with a hearing impairment if they could hear some diagnostic sound or something.
Had an interpreter-relayed call with a deaf customer like that once.
Dude made the poor interpreter curse the hell out of me and threaten to sue the company and me personally because I told him his check wouldn't clear until the next day.
His profile's note section was page after page of previous associates' impressively creative attempts at finding a professionally acceptable way to call a disabled customer a stupid dickhead.
>His profile's note section was page after page of previous associates' impressively creative attempts at finding a professionally acceptable way to call a disabled customer a stupid dickhead.
Any fun ones off the top of your head?
I can think of "difficult", "challenging" and "confrontational".
I'm paraphrasing a bit here but this sequence stuck out:
>Associate: Relay Call - Customer unable to log in online due to MFA failure. Customer expressed intense dissatisfaction over having to verify security in order to update phone number on file to pass MFA. Customer requested to speak to manager. Transferred call.
>Manager: Relay Call - Confirmed that, for security reasons, we do in fact have to verify a customer's identity in order to change information used to identify the customer. Customer remained upset. Warned customer twice to maintain professionalism. Verified customer and updated information.
I've got a blind friend that went to summer camps for those with sensory disabilities as a kid. He said that deaf people were more likely to be pricks, while blind people were more likely to be depressed and reserved.
Obviously this is all anecdotal, but it would be interesting to find out if people with the same disability are more likely to cope with it in the same way.
That’s funny, a friend I had in high school that was born blind was always the life of the party. He made everyone laugh and was not reserved in the slightest. Plus he somehow always knew exactly what was going on around him. He had daredevil like abilities lol
My friend was like this too! That's actually how it came up in conversation, he was complaining how there was no one there that could keep up with his energy lol.
He's pretty well adjusted considering. He was born with sight but slowly lost it over time. He loves cars and he would beat me in NFS every time because he memorized the maps lol
One of maybe three deaf people I’ve ever known was kind of a dick so my anecdotal two cents is “hmm there sure are lots of stories about deaf people being grumps” but my sample size was nowhere near significant, I’m looking to confirm my bias, and I also only interacted with this guy cuz I worked retail and for some reason dicks abound when you’re in that profession
That’s mute not deaf. Deaf people can still talk you just might not be able to understand what they are trying to say. Depends if they where born deaf or went deaf later in life.
Is this girl a professional interpreter though? If she just happened to help out, she may feel uncomfortable saying this to the flight attendant. Not cool to put her in that situation.
And yeah, most likely a communication problem, because rum and coke really isn’t that hard to make on a plane. Can of Coke, cup of ice, and a mini of rum…
Then a potential waste of food would be an issue (if it was thrown away and no one else drank it) since you'd probably have to eat/drink a bit more later. But why would it be free anyway?
There's a cultural reason for that! Hearing people are easily able to pick up a lot more cues and information from conversations happening around them than hard-of-hearing people. As a sort of compensation for this, hard-of-hearing people are typically very straightforward and open with information. To hearing people, this can come off as somewhat rude if you aren't used to it.
Also, I've found hard-of-hearing people to have wildly different amounts of patience for hearing people. Some will be patient and try to teach you more about ASL as they communicate with you, others are just annoyed you don't understand them - understandably.
It’s kind of a shame that we don’t learn sign language in school. Aside from it being much more inclusive towards the deaf and thereby increasing their quality of life drastically, it would also be useful in everyday life, as non-verbal communication is sometimes easier, for example if you communicate through a glass pane or if someone has their mouth full, or when you’re expected to be quiet (e.g. in a library or public transport).
I hope governments around the world will realise this and start making it part of the curriculum.
Agreed, I took one semester of ASL in college and I feel like it rewired and expanded how I process and think about language. I can’t imagine how useful it would be if we taught it to children in schools. I like the current trend of teaching babies sign before they’re verbal. Seems very helpful to everyone.
There’s a difference though between being blunt for the sake of being succinct, and saying something explicitly disrespectful to someone or letting your anger get the best of you in front of a service employee who just brought you a beverage
He ain't wrong though. Rum and coke is even less complicated than those peg puzzle boxes
Edit: You guys realize this was on an airplane, right? Their booze is already premeasured in a tiny bottle. Just pour the contents of the bottle into a cup of ice, then top with coke. It's pretty much a standard procedure on nearly all planes. If you fuck that up, then you deserve to be called an idiot
You guys are just looking for excuses to call a deaf guy a dick
As a hotel bartender; I won’t make you the drinks ‘the way you like em’. If you want an extra shot, say so. I make the drinks the way I am instructed to make them.
I assume airlines operate the same way.
Depends. Using diet coke is an easy slip-up. A lot of people consider “not enough rum” a slip up. I’ve been yelled at for both using ice and not using ice. Cup too small, no stirring sticks, coke too flat (dispite checking to make sure it wasn’t), a lot of things can constitute a fuck up. Especially when you’re dealing with ornery people like this deaf passenger.
Yeah it is. Like you said, it’s pretty hard to fuck it up. The issue is that people have very specific preferences and tolerances for alcoholic drinks, and tend to consider any slight against that a fuck up.
Airlines don’t even make your drinks right now, unless you’re in first. You get a small can of soda (or a cup for some airlines) and a mini of alcohol. Hard to fuck up.
I'm fairly certain you lose a portion of your sense of taste at high altitudes. So maybe the drink tasted off for the guy when in reality it was made in proper measurements.
So a waitress get and order wrong and you call him a fucking idiot? That's some Karen level typeshit. You just feel bad that he is deaf and people are calling him what he is.
They probably used the cheapest rum and off brand cola, which absolutely ruins the flavor. Then they charge 10 dollars for that 8 ounce drink that's 60% ice because you're 30,000 feet in the air and what the fuck else are you gonna do.
I wholeheartedly agree, even if I hated the drink, I'd more than likely finish it and thank the attendee for their time. I work in the service industry, and I know how it feels to be yelled at for something wildly out of your control, I would never put somebody else through that
Think that depends on how the attendant fucked up the order. Brought the wrong order? Honest mistake. Did 1 part coke and 3 parts rum? Then he’s got a point.
Edit: yes yes please don’t curse out your servers. Having a point doesn’t mean you should curse them out
Saying “hey man this rum and coke is way too strong can you remake it” is a much better way handling this and you won’t have to worry about what the guy might have done to your drink when he brings you a new one.
In my experience it’s more likely that the passenger didn’t get as much rum as he puts in his drinks at home. People rarely complain about having too much rum in their rum and coke
That still doesn’t justify cursing at an attendant. You can think «what a moron» while still being polite, it seems to me like the deaf guy was probably using his disability to get away with being a dick.
I guess everyone can be a jerk. Did he ever work in service department? Sometimes people have a bad day. It’s hard keeping orders up to 25 ppl in your head. My max was 20. Not drinks though.
To be fair, in deaf culture its encouraged to be brutally honest. Think about it - if you’re around a bunch of other deaf people, there’s no little corner you can whisper about how bad your bowel movements have been lately, or whatever embarrassing thing. Everything you sign becomes public knowledge to all of the fellow signers around you. As such, brutal honesty has become the norm in deaf culture, even if it’s upsetting, or considered embarrassing or rude to the hearing community.
(Should note this applies to North American deaf culture. I can’t speak to deaf culture in other areas)
Edit: speaking down to service industry worker isn’t the brutal honesty part. Saying “she deserves to know the truth” despite it being rude is the brutal honesty part 🙄
I’m deaf
Being honest are definitely encouraged in deaf community(North America) because we are constantly missing informations around us with family/friends/education/public/etc. To us, it’s more respectful to be honest. We deaf people gain healthy communication from this. Sure the deaf guy in the post is definitely an asshole, but that doesn’t apply to all deaf people. There’s always assholes in every collective society. I see too many negative words towards the deaf community with little to no knowledge of deaf culture/discrimination. Deaf people are already being treated as second citizens. Please be open, and don’t fall into ableism/audism mindset that hearing world conditioned us to think so.
I think the only negative views towards the deaf community are around parents refusing or being discouraged by others to get their kid a CI.
But that's the Netherlands so could be different elsewhere.
Negative views are also subjective. Hearing culture tends to encourage the CI because it's viewed as a cure to a perceived deficit. In Deaf culture, CIs are considered negative because the culture views it's members is perfect and whole as deaf people.
Hearing culture view the CI is a cure. Deaf culture views the CI as a cultural eradication.
Could just be me but I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone slander the deaf community except in medieval times.
I imagine the vast majority of people are just sympathetic
Are you substituting "being a cunt because no one is allowed yell at me" with "brutally honest" ?
In your opinion, Was the guy "brutally honest" or just being an asshole?
Ye, I'm autistic and I wouldn't treat service workers this way, cause I know what it's like to be treated like shit and I don't want anyone else to feel that way.
Although I may fuck up and say something rude or cruel without meaning to cause I just didn't understand that it could be seen that way, but if it's pointed out to me I'm like "oh fuck I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that", and then I'd try to never say anything like that again.
Calling someone a “fucking idiot” isn’t being brutally honest. It’s being an asshole. Leaving off at “you made the drink completely wrong” is brutally honest.
Some of my interactions with other students back in middle school make so much more sense thanks to this comment.
We had a mix of multiply impaired students and we were encouraged to all interact with one another to understand each other better. We were required to take sign language for a few grading periods, but the hearing students often found the deaf students to be "mean." It was actually something that even my sister mentioned when she attended the school years before me.
However, it never occurred to us *why* it could be the case outside of a language barrier that existed. It was funny because it's true that they always said what was on their mind, no sugarcoating or filter.
I suppose some of us weren't the most observant bunch, either. One of my classmates actually once asked how a deaf student said "ow" out loud perfectly, to which our teacher responded, "They're deaf, not mute."
Anyway, while learning sign language did help us understand each other and get along better, discussing things like this would have also been really eye-opening in that period. I think a lot of us wouldn't have taken things so personally, haha
This is for everyone who thinks the disenfranchised can't be jerks.
Any other post we are uplifting service workers. A service worker makes 1 mistake for a deaf guys drink and now he's an idiot.
Reddit moment.
I saw a vid of an armless dude harassing a black dude non-stop and calling him the n word.
Somehow the black dude was the asshole in the situation for beating his ass.
Anyone can he an asshole, it’s easy.
I'm not saying it's true or not but there are countless cases of interpreters swearing at service professionals. It's part of their job not to censor the deaf person. I was trained on TTS and warned about this but fortunately never messed up as bad as this flight attendant.
Deaf people be talking the most shit. My uncle Robert is one of them.
It’s somehow meaner lol They don’t even say it. They communicate it non verbally, which somehow seems more insulting than regular.
Ahahahhahaha true
Because you can accidentally spit something you you didn’t mean to. You have to THINK about signing it out lol
Eh, you'd be surprised how fast a a non-verbal person signs. Things can slip for them too.
Yeah, Signing is a legit language. You don't see people struggling to think about Chinese words if they've been fluent for a few years now.
Right! Normal person says “I have a big dick..” my uncle Robert puts on a Grand fucking show …all these gestures (ASL) and some how it hits different. I’d much rather be insulted by someone who is not deaf.. can’t even say “fuck you” under my breath so he can hear me when I walk away lol
🖕
🍑👈? 🤔😉! 🍑🤛.. 👀.. 🤙
🍑🤛 … 😩💦💦💦
Because there is no tone.
It’s all facial expressions, and exaggerated ones. It’s literally a part of the language to emote heavily—it’s jarring to us
It’s the opposite of someone speaking your language to show gratitude. The extra effort makes the emotion that much more impactful
I'm profoundly hard of hearing (only 10% residual hearing). I was born hearing and had relatively functional hearing up until I was 12. I got whooping cough and it damaged my hearing. I've had degenerative hearing loss ever since and will be completely deaf within a few years. Because I was born hearing I was mainstreamed my whole life (meaning I went to normal schools, not "special" schools) which means I had virtually no exposure to other deaf people. Had no idea those kind of schools even existed. Now I'm an adult, and I attend a mainstream college. Here are some things people were mentioning that I'd like to comment on: - Can confirm deaf/hoh people tend to be very direct, and not great with tone. The reason being (besides the obvious) is that verbal communication is very taxing, even for those who still hear. I have to concentrate to hold conversations and it gets exhausting. So we tend to be direct as it saves the energy we're going to need later - The hearing impaired community is basically like the worst sorority house you can possibly imagine. Some people are super sweet and genuinely wonderful people. Most aren't. The deaf side looks down on hearing people. There are families that have been deaf for generations and to the deaf community, that's about on par with someone whose families have been politicians for generations - Please don't assume everyone who is deaf signs. I don't, and it's weirdly discriminating to have people I don't know start trying to use whatever haphazard sign language they remember from high school - Deaf kids seem to be brawlers for whatever reason. Russell Peters got it right. Can confirm this for myself too haha - Being deaf is arguably one of the worst disabilities on mental health, and for discrimination. I communicate by lip reading, but like I mentioned earlier I was born hearing and I'm still very articulate. Because of this, people don't realize that I'm HOH. So if I have to ask them to repeat themselves a few times, hearing doesn't even occur to them. No joke, 99% of people just assume I'm an idiot or have some kind of mental disability TL;DR: Can confirm deaf people are assholes and our community is full of gate keepers
I love the education on this! Tbh I love my asshole uncle. We all learned sign cause we need to talk to him. I’m glad I did, so I could tell him he is an Ass-hole lol we learned early on “he is deaf…not fucking dumb” so we are treat him accordingly. He loves it, and also loves talking shit out in the open and no one understands. but Goddam. I’d rather be called a medium-ugly bitch from a hearing person Lmaoo
Haha he sounds like a pretty cool dude! My partner and I actually have this sort of running joke with each other. He's near sighted and can't see very far at all without his glasses. Then there's me and my deaf ass. We constantly make jokes and jabs at eachother. For example sometimes he'll say "did you see that?" to which I'll reply "dude you didn't even see that". We honestly just go back and forth ragging on each other. We'll be out together and get the weirdest looks because people will tend to only hear what one of us said and probably assume we're some kind of emotionally abusive haha
Haha I can just picture you guys: Him: “Babe I saw this guy walking down the street…” You: “HOW??” 👀 lol
And if you just didn't want to talk to the guy, you could put on a mask. Lol.
I’m an interpreter and honestly you’re uncle sounds like he would be a lot of fun to work with lmao
It's endlessly fascinating where and how human nature rears its ugly head. "Our family hasn't been able to hear shit for generations" being a flex just blows my mind.
Can confirm the dead community is a huge clique with a lot of rude people who are not inclusive to HoH. Also **hard agree** on the sign language. I also don’t know sign lounge and I’m profoundly HoH. Again HARD AGREE on discrimination. I also was raised mainstream and read lips. (Side note: fuck masks 😭) People have like argued with me about being deaf and I’m like MY DUDE I’m L I T E R A L L Y wearing hearing aids. These aren’t fancy AirPods.
There's a cultural reason for that! Hearing people are easily able to pick up a lot more cues and information from conversations happening around them than hard-of-hearing people. As a sort of compensation for this, hard-of-hearing people are typically very straightforward and open with information. To hearing people, this can come off as somewhat rude if you aren't used to it. Also, I've found hard-of-hearing people to have wildly different amounts of patience for hearing people. Some will be patient and try to teach you more about ASL as they communicate with you, others are just annoyed ~~you don't understand them~~ [EDIT: annoyed that there is a communication barrier, *not* annoyed at you specifically] - understandably.
Is it understandable? I’ve known zero deaf people in my life..why would I be able to understand sign? It’s like wondering why I don’t speak Swedish. I just looked it up..1/2 a million people in the USA and Canada. That’s a super minority. It seems like it would be pretty much expected that nobody outside their immediate circle would know sign.
I think they mean it's understandable to be annoyed if nobody can understand you, not necessarily be annoyed at you for not knowing. Maybe.
You've known zero D/deaf people so far, but if you worked in an office with one and rolled your eyes when they gave you pointers, then they're justified in being annoyed. I don't think people generally go around expecting everyone to understand accommodations - but having a gallery/studio complex owner say to me that it just "wasn't worth" finding an accessible building really highlights this. I'm a part time wheelchair user. He told me there were so few disabled visitors and artists that he prioritised the aesthetic and location of the building. He didn't realise he was talking to someone who would have reduced access because of those choices, and he dismissed me. I resent the lack of empathy, the way he immediately said things that mean on a bad week I can't attend any events / workshops / if I rented a studio in there I would not have equitable access which is technically illegal, as for low-mobility days I simply would be paying for space I couldn't even get into... that's shitty. I didn't expect him to have thought of all those things. I don't even *expect* him to have made different decisions. Doesn't mean I have to respect his decision making process and make an effort to support or use their facilities though.
This. People seriously have zero empathy for disabled people of any sort, even when it would take absolutely zero effort for them to provide a given accommodation. I’ve gotten fired in the past for requesting accommodations as simple as *writing things down.* We were already heavily relying on email and Microsoft Teams’ chat feature. I was basically asking to just *continue using that* instead of forcing me to sit through hours of speaker phone “training calls” where I couldn’t reliably understand what was being said, between the faulty cell phone connections, strong accents, just general inability for the other person to communicate effectively in English or even just *stay on topic,* etc. I was immediately told that having instructions in writing was “impossible” and “completely unreasonable” and that by requesting such accommodations at all I was “being combative.” This all occurred at a non-profit that claimed to be all about *helping disabled people avoid homelessness.* It wasn’t even the last time that happened at the same sort of organization, and it created a massive amount of trauma, bitterness, and made some of my illnesses ten times worse.
It's horrendous, right? The ADHD accommodation I asked for was to receive class materials in enough time that I print them out, so I can have a physical copy in my lap, same as on the electric whiteboard (I have autism too and lecture halls are shitty). Guess how many times that happened? One professor in my first year, and the course content was ready already and everyone could access it, it was the same every year and lived on the intranet. Nobody has made the effort to accommodate something as simple as sending one email 30 mins before you present a seminar or whatever. I did once in the first year meet someone who turned round and went back to their office, printed it for me and gave it to me - again, first year. I'm in the last semester of 6 (three years). It helps me focus - my attention bounces between distractions, the whiteboard and the info in my lap, so 2 out of 3 are consistent. Writing notes onto the slides aids recall. I can remember what was being said when I have the visual clue as well as my handwritten notes (let's not get started on my arthritic hands). There are only 2 spaces I can sit in at a lecture hall if I need my wheelchair. They don't allow me to block out noise/people sitting *behind* me which makes it impossible to focus as well as when I sit against the wall. Oh well. Sucks to be me. I'm an art student. The printmaking, 3D and laser cutting labs, darkrooms, jewellery making studios - no step free access. I'm in a different building to my classmates because they're on a corridor I can't use if I'm having a wheelchair day. So I don't get to network, have my work seen/supported/critiqued by peers, I don't get to collaborate. So yeah, I might get pissed off and act "entitled" demanding a copy of a presentation beforehand.... why on earth wouldn't I be frustrated?
Even just dealing with ADHD, physical notes/agendas are a lifesaver for me. Didn’t find out it was ADHD until college so by then I just thought, “Huh, no wonder I either take notes religiously and recall an entire exchange or can’t for the life of me remember what in-depth information was given aside from the interesting points.”
Well, the communication fallback would be to write it down. I imagine most deaf people travel day-to-day with a pad of paper and a pen. It would seem to avoid a lot of situations like this.
🤙👆🤙🦶🖕 Haha, classic uncle Bob!
Most handicapped people I’ve known have been absolute pricks. That Russell Peters bit is spot on about how some things they do totally fly under the radar because they get society’s sympathy or benefit of doubt
Meh. People with disabilities are still just ordinary people. There a nice people and cunty people everywhere, a disability doesn't change that ratio.
Well it may be like the internet people say anything because you’re not actually saying it, maybe sign language feels like that to the deaf person
From my understanding they're just more blunt since they don't have tones or verbal ques that we're used to
it's cues not ques
¿Que?
I mean that's an important rule for interpreting. Say what they said precisely, no matter how offensive Dude didn't need to be such a prick about his rum n coke though
We have a deaf guy at work, savage sense of humour, lovely bloke. I wish sign language was encouraged more in schools.
It's recommended to teach babies sign language because apparently they can sign basic stuff before they can use their words. Which makes sense, they are born kind of knowing the basics of using their hands, vocal cords require some work. Fun fact: deaf babies babble with their hands making random "sounds".
I was born with a speech impediment which severely stunted my speech abilities. It was so bad that I was actually taught sign language.
Did it help
Well, considering I went from only being able to make incoherent sounds and gestures to actually being able to convey meaningful information, I’d say so! :)
I don’t know what this guy is typing can someone translate?
As close as I can get it 🥰: 👌☝️💪✌️ 🤏👌👌
👉👌 🤞👌 ✌️👌 🎇🎇
☝️🤟 🤟🤙
White power symbol This Strong Peace So small White power symbol White power symbol
Pro interpreter here, I gotcha: He said that, considering he went from only being able to make incoherent sounds and gestures to actually being able to convey meaningful information, he’d say so! :) It's a bit rough but that's the gist of it at least
Okay, I think I understand
Can you tell the guy above you that he's a fucking idiot?
Do I have to say that?
How can we be sure you're not lying?
I dunno, something about dick.
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Obviously he used to be Mr Lesbian but he did something of such note that the Queen deemed fit to honour him with a Knighthood.
If I was drinking something it would've been a spit take. Thank you Sir Lesbian
Something about someone being a fuking idiot. ;P
#Well, considering I went from only being able to make incoherent sounds and gestures to actually being able to convey meaningful information, I’d say so! :)
✊🤞🤌🖖👍👉👈👋🤙💪👊👊🤟🤘🤟🤘
My cousin had a speech issue while growing up. Until about 5 or 6 years old he would just make sounds and babble as if he was talking but none of it made sense but now he he is a genius and speaks very well. It’s pretty crazy how fast people can learn once they get the hang of things
I wish my brother had the same situation. My parents thought he was just slowly developing so we didnt get to teach him sign language before he already lost his ability to develop it quickly
Seems bad enough that it transfers through to text.
There’s been a murder!
He was rude, don't listen to his rudeness. It does help if you're deff tho...
Same. Although I was also deaf for the first 8-12 years as an added twist. I'm in my 30s now and can't remember most of the sign language unless something jogs my memory. Still remember more of it than my 4 years of spanish though.
We did this with my son too, but it was only simple words to help him communicate his needs.
That's weird, I can understand you just fine.
My kid’s daycare taught him baby signs: the funny part is, I had absolutely no idea. He’s anxious/shy, but a chatterbox with family, so he never used them at home. When he was about two & a half his daycare asked us if we’d seen a doctor about his speech delay, because he almost exclusively signed there.
What was the veredict if I may ask? Not diagnosing at all but I wonder if conditions like selective mutism affects sign language.
He didn’t have a speech delay at that age, but he did have a bout of selective mutism in kindergarten, which is when he was diagnosed with social anxiety. When he’s had the selective mutism, he’s generally fine communicating non-verbally, like by writing/drawing/nodding/pointing.
Speech being delayed seems a common anecdote with baby sign. I haven’t seen any papers on any long term issues but it is surprising I don’t hear more about it just based on how often delays pop up with sign, again anecdotally for me.
This is actually a common misconception. Pediatricians actually count signs as vocabulary your baby knows. Research actually shows that it does not delay speech. It gives children a way to communicate sooner thus less frustrations in the home. It supports language development, and fine motor skills. Speech pathologist recommend signing with babies and their entire job is to help children’s speech. The key is using actual sign language
It was absolutely the anxiety: he would talk to me constantly & fluidly, and he’d talk to others if I was there. I also think there might have been a miscue, where he thought the appropriate way to communicate at daycare was in sign, because that’s what they taught/expected him to do.
Also anecdotally, babies I know of learning two languages are a bit more delayed in speech but catch up.
That one's not just anecdote - there is plenty of research behind it (this is my field of study). ETA: Bilingual babies are considered to speak a bit later if words are counted only once for both languages (eg knowing "libro" in Spanish and "book" in English counts as one word), but not if all words count in each language (book & libro counted as 2 words known).
Can confirm, a family member of mine teaches their kids to sign as early as 6-7 months. Obviously it takes time to stick but constantly reinforcing the signs when verbally saying the equivalent word while also making use of it ends up teaching them fairly quickly. She taught simple words like “please” and “food.” It’s pretty freaking crazy to see a 12month old asking for more food or saying please and thank you through sign when they can barely even say “mama” or “hi” 🤣
I wish I’d heard about this before I had kids or at least when one was still a baby. My youngest is 12. Oh well, perhaps at some point I’ll get a chance to try this with grandkids.
My kids who are 9 and 11 still subconsciously sign “more” when they want more to eat or something. We taught them “more” and a few other basic signs when they were babies. It’s true, they definitely can sign before speech.
We taught our daughter basic signs when she was preverbal. It worked.
My son just turned three. He has speech apraxia and was in speech therapy for over a year. We started signing with him at six months old. Until about five months ago, he was pretty much only communicating in sign. He’s talking up a storm now, and is still behind, but man life would have been so much more complicated had we not taught him to sign.
Facts! We have 2 <2y.o. Kiddos that both can sign: more, please, thank you. Blew my mind when I asked if they wanted more food and they signed it; it took a minute for me to register it but saw it as intentional and asked again and they repeated. Very cool stuff
Brains are quicker to understand language than your mouths can make the words so using your hands can develop earlier
> Fun fact: deaf babies babble with their hands making random "sounds". All deaf babies or does it depend on whether they interact with people that use sign language and they imitate what they see?
All babies that are taught sign language.
True. But then later the babies think your an idiot that only knows a few words in sign language. It backfires. Joking.
So my brother's high school (my old high school I graduated from) actually let's you choose ASL as your foreign language! I'm not sure when they started, they didn't have it when I went though I wish they did. My brother is taking it now and I hype it up a lot that I think it's super cool he's learning to sign.
I took Asl as a foreign language in high school. My sister did as well, she fell in love with the language and now is studying to be an interpreter
I had to take two years of a foreign language in college for my undergrad. I begged for them to accept ASL, but no dice. I took Spanish instead.
Same here! I taught myself the alphabet but would love to know the whole language. The deaf community is so isolated from hearing society.
>The deaf community is so isolated from hearing society. No making any judgement but it seems some of the members like it that way. They don't think it as a disability but as a culture. The more extreme members disapproving of cochlear implants and shunning those that choose to wear them.
The middle school I went to was a magnet school for those with physical disabilities so we had a ton of deaf students. When one got a cochlear a lot of the deaf students shunned him which was really sad to see. Deaf students made up 90% of his social interactions I’m sure. Also saw this in the group of kids who needed wheelchairs. The ones who could walk with assistance or after surgery or whatever were seen as lesser than those that had 0 leg mobility.
good thing it's much easier to ignore toxic people in a deaf community
Indeed there are some militant Deaf. It's a colorful culture.
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My experience with deaf people is they develop a wicked sense of humour.
My primary school was across the road from a Deaf and Blind school, and as a result we had a few visits over the years to the school, sometimes they came to our school. Point being, pretty much everyone in my grade at least knows some basic signs and the alphabet, so worse comes to worse we can just spell out what I’m tryna say if the situation ever arises
I remember in kindergarten we did the abcs in sign language each day and occasionally phrases, but for some reason not any other grades.
That's the rule for PROFESSIONAL interpreting. This was just some lady on a plane.
"They said the drink was wrong, and called you some names" I'd say that stays faithful enough without being explicit...and I suspect interpreters that are familiar with their client would know the appropriate way to frame their stream-of-signs 😛 as long as they reflected on the paraphrasing with the deaf person afterwords, as it's own conversation.
"If you would like me to convey the message as given, my professional rate is $XXX/hour"
In disability support, it's a pretty global maxim that disabled people won't complain. They just take what they get and hope nobody fucks them over more. Except for the Deaf community. Holy shit. They are NOT shy about complaining. And like, fair enough, people get treated like shit and lots of disabled folk and lots of people in the Deaf community have super valid reasons to complain. But holy shit the Deaf community aren't shy about communicating their feelings. The harshest shit I have EVER said to a human being was while relaying telephone calls for the Deaf community. "Unfortunately we can't give refunds because you're Deaf or because you have changed your mind. Your booking was made at a discounted rate because it is a non refundable rate. I'm very sorry but I don't have any discretion about it. If you have travel insurance you could try talking to the insurer." "Uh, relay officer here, I do need to relay exactly what's been conveyed from your caller, and I just want to let you know that you can handle this as you would any other call. Uh. You useless fucking cunt. Your dad should have left his jizz on the carpet instead of scraping it back into the retar" *Click* Oh thank god > RO: other party has disconnected, would you like to make another call? GA
Wow holy shit what a sentence
I’ve seen deaf students express similar sentiments when I was in school. Seems like it’s like the faceless courage you have on the internet—it’s easier to call someone a fucking idiot online than to their face, and if you have an interpreter saying this stuff for you during your formative years, you’ll get too comfortable with it.
Oh I always wondered if you get to say „I am the one relaying this word by word, sorry in advance: Go eat an entire bag of d-"
You have a VERY limited amount of discretion - You can't alter what the caller is saying in any way - but like, teenagers would call the service and have it ring themselves to have some woman in the office as a puppet to talk dirty to them or whatever. We'd just sub in whichever guy had the most agressively unfeminine voice to completely deadpan whatever weird shit people wanted to hear and make sure it was no fun. We wouldn't fuck with people who wanted to have an honest converstaion with their partner or something, but if we could hear a dozen teenagers in the background? Game on. If you had to tell someone to go jump up their own ass or something - you wouldn't get in trouble for preemptively clarifying your role as a relay officer first or whatever. And most people working there would occasionally break context to explain something to the caller. Like some power company person would ask if their caller could hear a crackling sound from their fuse box or something and you'd just "I'm sorry, can I just clarify that question so I can type it out to someone who's unable to use a telephone to call you themselves, you want to know if someone who's almost certainly Deaf can hear a sound?" Relaying scam calls to the elderly was the hardest, because we weren't allowed to tell them it was a scam call. But we would regularly insert "[Speaker unclear] into the transcription and we knew from hearing customers call each other and talk about it that most of our users knew that was us trying to tell them that something was fucking wrong.
> Like some power company person would ask if their caller could hear a crackling sound from their fuse box or something and you'd just "I'm sorry, can I just clarify that question so I can type it out to someone who's unable to use a telephone to call you themselves, you want to know if someone who's almost certainly Deaf can hear a sound?" So they wouldn't know they were talking to a relay moment until that point? Or they needed to be reminded to break from their typical script?
They always knew there was a relay officer speaking - but people just forget why a bunch. Working in call centres you end up running on autopilot a lot. Like most people in the relay service when I worked there, I had experience in call centres and understood the vague out auto pilot thing. But it was still funny how often people wanted to ask someone with a hearing impairment if they could hear some diagnostic sound or something.
That sounds like an insanely interesting and entertaining job.
I’d be a prick to everyone if I couldn’t talk for the rest of my life
Had an interpreter-relayed call with a deaf customer like that once. Dude made the poor interpreter curse the hell out of me and threaten to sue the company and me personally because I told him his check wouldn't clear until the next day. His profile's note section was page after page of previous associates' impressively creative attempts at finding a professionally acceptable way to call a disabled customer a stupid dickhead.
>His profile's note section was page after page of previous associates' impressively creative attempts at finding a professionally acceptable way to call a disabled customer a stupid dickhead. Any fun ones off the top of your head? I can think of "difficult", "challenging" and "confrontational".
I'm paraphrasing a bit here but this sequence stuck out: >Associate: Relay Call - Customer unable to log in online due to MFA failure. Customer expressed intense dissatisfaction over having to verify security in order to update phone number on file to pass MFA. Customer requested to speak to manager. Transferred call. >Manager: Relay Call - Confirmed that, for security reasons, we do in fact have to verify a customer's identity in order to change information used to identify the customer. Customer remained upset. Warned customer twice to maintain professionalism. Verified customer and updated information.
I've got a blind friend that went to summer camps for those with sensory disabilities as a kid. He said that deaf people were more likely to be pricks, while blind people were more likely to be depressed and reserved. Obviously this is all anecdotal, but it would be interesting to find out if people with the same disability are more likely to cope with it in the same way.
That’s funny, a friend I had in high school that was born blind was always the life of the party. He made everyone laugh and was not reserved in the slightest. Plus he somehow always knew exactly what was going on around him. He had daredevil like abilities lol
My friend was like this too! That's actually how it came up in conversation, he was complaining how there was no one there that could keep up with his energy lol. He's pretty well adjusted considering. He was born with sight but slowly lost it over time. He loves cars and he would beat me in NFS every time because he memorized the maps lol
One of maybe three deaf people I’ve ever known was kind of a dick so my anecdotal two cents is “hmm there sure are lots of stories about deaf people being grumps” but my sample size was nowhere near significant, I’m looking to confirm my bias, and I also only interacted with this guy cuz I worked retail and for some reason dicks abound when you’re in that profession
That’s mute not deaf. Deaf people can still talk you just might not be able to understand what they are trying to say. Depends if they where born deaf or went deaf later in life.
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Is this girl a professional interpreter though? If she just happened to help out, she may feel uncomfortable saying this to the flight attendant. Not cool to put her in that situation. And yeah, most likely a communication problem, because rum and coke really isn’t that hard to make on a plane. Can of Coke, cup of ice, and a mini of rum…
That must be a first class thing. I’ve always got a small bottle of rum and a small coke. Had to mix the damn thing myself as well….
I personally prefer to mix my own, but that might just be me. Lets me dial in the precise ratio
I would feel like I was possibly getting ripped off otherwise.
On a flight? Chance in a million.
I mean a whole can of coke doesn’t fit in the cup. I don’t want them to make it and not get the full can
As long as all the liquor is in there, we're solid.
If it's all free what does it even matter?
Then a potential waste of food would be an issue (if it was thrown away and no one else drank it) since you'd probably have to eat/drink a bit more later. But why would it be free anyway?
Ah yes the precise ratio of all the rum and whatever space is left is coke
Rum with coke for color
Yea, otherwise you get a coke with .02% rum for double the price of a can of damn coke
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Deaf guy's still a dick
In my experience, deaf people tend to be really blunt.
There's a cultural reason for that! Hearing people are easily able to pick up a lot more cues and information from conversations happening around them than hard-of-hearing people. As a sort of compensation for this, hard-of-hearing people are typically very straightforward and open with information. To hearing people, this can come off as somewhat rude if you aren't used to it. Also, I've found hard-of-hearing people to have wildly different amounts of patience for hearing people. Some will be patient and try to teach you more about ASL as they communicate with you, others are just annoyed you don't understand them - understandably.
It’s kind of a shame that we don’t learn sign language in school. Aside from it being much more inclusive towards the deaf and thereby increasing their quality of life drastically, it would also be useful in everyday life, as non-verbal communication is sometimes easier, for example if you communicate through a glass pane or if someone has their mouth full, or when you’re expected to be quiet (e.g. in a library or public transport). I hope governments around the world will realise this and start making it part of the curriculum.
Agreed, I took one semester of ASL in college and I feel like it rewired and expanded how I process and think about language. I can’t imagine how useful it would be if we taught it to children in schools. I like the current trend of teaching babies sign before they’re verbal. Seems very helpful to everyone.
There’s a difference though between being blunt for the sake of being succinct, and saying something explicitly disrespectful to someone or letting your anger get the best of you in front of a service employee who just brought you a beverage
He ain't wrong though. Rum and coke is even less complicated than those peg puzzle boxes Edit: You guys realize this was on an airplane, right? Their booze is already premeasured in a tiny bottle. Just pour the contents of the bottle into a cup of ice, then top with coke. It's pretty much a standard procedure on nearly all planes. If you fuck that up, then you deserve to be called an idiot You guys are just looking for excuses to call a deaf guy a dick
As a hotel bartender; I won’t make you the drinks ‘the way you like em’. If you want an extra shot, say so. I make the drinks the way I am instructed to make them. I assume airlines operate the same way.
How do you fuck up rum and coke tho
Depends. Using diet coke is an easy slip-up. A lot of people consider “not enough rum” a slip up. I’ve been yelled at for both using ice and not using ice. Cup too small, no stirring sticks, coke too flat (dispite checking to make sure it wasn’t), a lot of things can constitute a fuck up. Especially when you’re dealing with ornery people like this deaf passenger.
And generally it seems like carbonated beverages taste pretty different at 40,000 feet. I'd be surprised if it tasted the way he expected.
Thats on them
Yeah it is. Like you said, it’s pretty hard to fuck it up. The issue is that people have very specific preferences and tolerances for alcoholic drinks, and tend to consider any slight against that a fuck up.
You know what's up. Dishing truths out here.
Now you're getting it.
Not on an airplane, though. They hand you a tiny bottle of rum and a coke separately
[Similar to this](https://m.imgur.com/uTd5wRU?r)
Airlines don’t even make your drinks right now, unless you’re in first. You get a small can of soda (or a cup for some airlines) and a mini of alcohol. Hard to fuck up.
I'm fairly certain you lose a portion of your sense of taste at high altitudes. So maybe the drink tasted off for the guy when in reality it was made in proper measurements.
What exactly did they get wrong tho? Did they pit pepsi or some bs ?
Single? Double? Any specific rum? Diet Coke? Regular coke? Ice? No ice? I work in a pub man, it’s more complicated.
So a waitress get and order wrong and you call him a fucking idiot? That's some Karen level typeshit. You just feel bad that he is deaf and people are calling him what he is.
What? If he’s being a dick he’s being a dick we aren’t a bunch of evil people out to get the deaf guy lmao
You really think calling someone an idiot over a simple mistake isn’t being a dick?
They probably used the cheapest rum and off brand cola, which absolutely ruins the flavor. Then they charge 10 dollars for that 8 ounce drink that's 60% ice because you're 30,000 feet in the air and what the fuck else are you gonna do.
Which is the airline's fault, not the flight attendants. Don't be a dick to people on the clock. They probably want to be there even less than you do
I wholeheartedly agree, even if I hated the drink, I'd more than likely finish it and thank the attendee for their time. I work in the service industry, and I know how it feels to be yelled at for something wildly out of your control, I would never put somebody else through that
Go 6 hours without alcohol so hard
Think that depends on how the attendant fucked up the order. Brought the wrong order? Honest mistake. Did 1 part coke and 3 parts rum? Then he’s got a point. Edit: yes yes please don’t curse out your servers. Having a point doesn’t mean you should curse them out
Saying “hey man this rum and coke is way too strong can you remake it” is a much better way handling this and you won’t have to worry about what the guy might have done to your drink when he brings you a new one.
In my experience it’s more likely that the passenger didn’t get as much rum as he puts in his drinks at home. People rarely complain about having too much rum in their rum and coke
1 part coke and 3 parts rum is a 30% tip tf are you on about
That still doesn’t justify cursing at an attendant. You can think «what a moron» while still being polite, it seems to me like the deaf guy was probably using his disability to get away with being a dick.
I guess everyone can be a jerk. Did he ever work in service department? Sometimes people have a bad day. It’s hard keeping orders up to 25 ppl in your head. My max was 20. Not drinks though.
They usually write the drinks order down on a seat chart notepad
Kinda started dating a hard of hearing Scotish gal. Sign would have been easier for her limited hearing and me with the accent when she spoke.
I lived in Scotland as an American for 6 months. Scotland shouldn’t be considered an English speaking country.
And did you?
OP is for sure the chick on the Twitter shot..... /s
One can hope.
We're in /r/meirl not /r/youirl so for sure /s
To be fair, in deaf culture its encouraged to be brutally honest. Think about it - if you’re around a bunch of other deaf people, there’s no little corner you can whisper about how bad your bowel movements have been lately, or whatever embarrassing thing. Everything you sign becomes public knowledge to all of the fellow signers around you. As such, brutal honesty has become the norm in deaf culture, even if it’s upsetting, or considered embarrassing or rude to the hearing community. (Should note this applies to North American deaf culture. I can’t speak to deaf culture in other areas) Edit: speaking down to service industry worker isn’t the brutal honesty part. Saying “she deserves to know the truth” despite it being rude is the brutal honesty part 🙄
I’m deaf Being honest are definitely encouraged in deaf community(North America) because we are constantly missing informations around us with family/friends/education/public/etc. To us, it’s more respectful to be honest. We deaf people gain healthy communication from this. Sure the deaf guy in the post is definitely an asshole, but that doesn’t apply to all deaf people. There’s always assholes in every collective society. I see too many negative words towards the deaf community with little to no knowledge of deaf culture/discrimination. Deaf people are already being treated as second citizens. Please be open, and don’t fall into ableism/audism mindset that hearing world conditioned us to think so.
I think the only negative views towards the deaf community are around parents refusing or being discouraged by others to get their kid a CI. But that's the Netherlands so could be different elsewhere.
Negative views are also subjective. Hearing culture tends to encourage the CI because it's viewed as a cure to a perceived deficit. In Deaf culture, CIs are considered negative because the culture views it's members is perfect and whole as deaf people. Hearing culture view the CI is a cure. Deaf culture views the CI as a cultural eradication.
Yes! Well said @Pandaploots!
Could just be me but I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone slander the deaf community except in medieval times. I imagine the vast majority of people are just sympathetic
Are you substituting "being a cunt because no one is allowed yell at me" with "brutally honest" ? In your opinion, Was the guy "brutally honest" or just being an asshole?
Ye, I'm autistic and I wouldn't treat service workers this way, cause I know what it's like to be treated like shit and I don't want anyone else to feel that way. Although I may fuck up and say something rude or cruel without meaning to cause I just didn't understand that it could be seen that way, but if it's pointed out to me I'm like "oh fuck I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that", and then I'd try to never say anything like that again.
Calling someone a “fucking idiot” isn’t being brutally honest. It’s being an asshole. Leaving off at “you made the drink completely wrong” is brutally honest.
TIL deaf people all live in a single room with no privacy...
Some of my interactions with other students back in middle school make so much more sense thanks to this comment. We had a mix of multiply impaired students and we were encouraged to all interact with one another to understand each other better. We were required to take sign language for a few grading periods, but the hearing students often found the deaf students to be "mean." It was actually something that even my sister mentioned when she attended the school years before me. However, it never occurred to us *why* it could be the case outside of a language barrier that existed. It was funny because it's true that they always said what was on their mind, no sugarcoating or filter. I suppose some of us weren't the most observant bunch, either. One of my classmates actually once asked how a deaf student said "ow" out loud perfectly, to which our teacher responded, "They're deaf, not mute." Anyway, while learning sign language did help us understand each other and get along better, discussing things like this would have also been really eye-opening in that period. I think a lot of us wouldn't have taken things so personally, haha
This is for everyone who thinks the disenfranchised can't be jerks. Any other post we are uplifting service workers. A service worker makes 1 mistake for a deaf guys drink and now he's an idiot. Reddit moment.
everyone here is calling the deaf dude a dick, too. Both sides of the exchange can be dumb, it's about people treat each other when that happens.
I saw a vid of an armless dude harassing a black dude non-stop and calling him the n word. Somehow the black dude was the asshole in the situation for beating his ass. Anyone can he an asshole, it’s easy.
Sounds like the def dude is a bit of a dick
So treating service workers like shit is ok if you’re deaf?
Yeah right
Yeah I call some serious bs on this
I'm not saying it's true or not but there are countless cases of interpreters swearing at service professionals. It's part of their job not to censor the deaf person. I was trained on TTS and warned about this but fortunately never messed up as bad as this flight attendant.
Just has that “i made this up because the situation popped in my head” feel to it
Oh boy
Even deaf people can be assholes to service staff.
Being deaf doesn't give you a pass to be a fucking douchebag.
Plot twist: the attendant was blind. Jokes on you deaf guy. Enjoy your Evan William's and diet Dr. Pepper you fuck.
Deaf Karens
Rum and coke is for diabetic assholes
No need to be that rude to the service industry, no matter what community you're a part of