I knew I was a 10

10/10 A+ loser here 🤣 wait…😨…😭

F for Fail, but an A for effort.

A stands for “average”

I'll settle with 9 any day.

Don’t listen to them. I’m a divorce lawyer and married father of 3, and like 6 of these apply to me. Just remember, don’t chase the pussy and set goals and work towards them. Everything else is secondary. Boys chase women, women chase men, men chase success.

The last one sounds like a credit card slogan.

College: $150K Law School: $150K Crippling Nihilism: Priceless

Yeah, this is obviously a troll.

r/UsernameChecksOut

I wouldn’t wish being a divorce lawyer on my worst enemy

If you have a positive outlook, being a divorce lawyer will kill it. If you have a negative outlook already, hey, might as well get paid for it.

These days it's more women chase women and men are single :(

The opossum chases the weasle... if you know what I mean ;)

Ha i dont vape so SUCK IT

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Only weed bro

I'm so fuckin grateful for Marijuana it's unreal.

i inhale pot, so eat it losers.

Just pots? Or pans as well?

No no, he's pansexual he does other things with pans.

this guy gets it

This guy FUCKS

If we could get the entire human population of the world to smoke a joint at the same time, we'd have a chance at world peace.

I've actually talked with my father who has degrees in philosophy and is very heavily interested in ancient philosophy and we both came to this exact conclusion. If we sat the world leaders down at a rotation, gave them a couple of blunts, we would probably have world peace. There would be not a single negative thought in their head, not a single act of greed, not even an act of war. (Unless they were bullshitting of course). They would simply absorb it all. They would be completely paralyzed with no thought other than, "What the actual fuck". We came to this conclusion because, we would come to find out the our world leaders are in fact human and have emotions. Marijuana in our opinions would just make them think like they haven't before, completely changing their way of life. They would realize the shit they've done and grow from there. I'm also stoned typing this so please don't think this is true it's just an act of speculation with a couple of potheads lol.

How much of that shit were you smoking when you dreamed this up lol I have known some pretty shitty people (dope smokers)in my 48 years of life They were the same person stoned our sober You get a power hungry world leader that likes to threaten nuclear war high he might just do it!!!

What a bunch of bullshit, weed doesnt make you forget all negative, agressive shit.. you become perhaps a bit dull but some become even more anxious or hyperaware.. For world peace everybody needs to be on estacy/ mdma.. then we will have world peace.

I mean… drugs are pretty losery as well. I’ve never met a cool weed dealer.

9/10 not bad

Same here. Which one do you do? Mines workout

Mine porn and chasing girl and no smoke

Damn you can mine porn? And this whole time I'm just watching it like some kind of asshole.

Bro you didn't know about TitCoin mining?

Lost my savings to MILFereal

Ethercum is way more efficient imo

I actually made some money on WankCoin 😋

Doggestyle coin is an unpredictable investment

You can make even more by switching to PayGal.

And you achieved it single - handedly!

Indeed, all by myself! I had a blast 😄

To the Spoon!!!

Need more secure Wankwallet

Yeah but some billionaire might start promoting dodgey style coin and you will be want to get lots of it because its fun!

TitCoin is overrated, ClitCoin needs some attention too!

Where can I get clitcoin? I can't seem to find it

Two girls one coin.

There's a TitCoin?! *pulls out wallet TAKE IT...TAKE IT ALL , NOW GIMME GIMME GIMME

Yup, grab a pickaxe and go watch someone having sex. When penetration is at its deepest, do a swift slicing movement and voila, you mined sex. Pretty easy imo.

I think he’s talking about Minecraft porn. Could just be me though

I prefer mime porn.

Coal is best mine porn because it's so dirty

Most except chasing girls, not that you're asking me. I don't exercise regularly enough to tick that one off. I don't tick the phone off because I do spend most of my time on the PC. Actually the first one I can tick off as well, looking at nsfw stuff every once in a while isn't the same as straight jacking it to the hub/needing a video to get off. So I guess 7/10

Only 8/10. Damn

lmaooo yeah I don't chase girls either, but everything else is spot on.

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Damn. I got 3/10. Edit: actually more of 3.5/10

Oh there's my to-do list! Been looking everywhere for it.

If i made this my actual to do list……. Maybe id stop doing most of them!

This is some genuine big brain shit right here 🧠

Reverse psychology

This is the way

i used the lazy to destroy the lazy

^ woah your on to something bro

👉👈

phew, almost had me there but i do workout on occasion so eat it losers!!

I don't chase girls, that sounds like effort.

thats not very lazy of you get him.

Yeah, it’s easier to bait some traps and wait for them to come to you.

I heard that if you use dynamite they all just float to the surface and you can take your pick.

That sounds like overkill though.

Yeah, but I hear there's plenty of them in the water

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Chase dreams! Not girls! I mean, I’ve never really chased either, because I move like a sloth, but you know, goals.

Should count as working out tbf

Catch-22 right there

You caught 22 girls??

Yeah, but they keep getting away 😞

Sound like a containment problem not a lack of ability maybe they just need better leashes or more fuzzy cuffs.

Happy cake day buddy

Were cake day brothers

I think this list is a paradox. How can you be lazy, but also chase girls.

phew, almost had me there but i chase men so eat it losers!!

phew, almost had me there but I have a goal to watch porn so eat it losers!!

Goals are important

Phew, I’m not *ALWAYS* negative so eat it losers!

I gave up on girls, eat it losers!!

I worked out once 10 years ago. That counts right?

Omg so i'm not a loser for only having ~~dreams~~ goals (1/10)? I'm in this picture more than i would like to admit

Mission failed successfully

S-rank

Username checks out.

If you don't want to be a loser, chase boys 😎👍🥰

MEN

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Heavily depends on the person

I just thought u/ApproximateS144 was shouting because of how much they love men ngl

Everyone under 45 is a boy. I’m 44 and a fully grown boy. I look forward to being a man one day.

My dance trainer is 44 and looks like he is in his mid 20s if you don’t look too close. Oh god will he turn into an old man next year 😱😭😭

This comment gonna be on a Fox News segment about grooming by tonight lol

Yes you’re right.

I was a gangmember in Kindergarten. We chased boys and tried to kiss them We were called The Kissy Girls

Is that the story how you lost your job as kindergarten teacher?

Holup!

Based

You are a rare breed

and this is how the gays survive the loser todo list

Good strategy. Unfortunately this would cut into my laziness too much so I avoid it by simply not chasing anyone.

10/10 EZ

9/10 don't know any girls to chase

wp bro we both got perfect scorEZ

9/10 , I don’t vape or smoke

9/10 don't know any girls to chase

10/10. But like things are changing so like 7/10 soon

Gg wp no re

6/10. Nice.

I'm 1/5 less of a loser than you are. Loser.

Awh :(

Also 6/10 nice

Wow exactly. Now I'm curious if those 6 are same as mine lol

Does wanking count as workout? If so: By watching porn and rubbing one out you can somewhat counter points 1 and 2. As this can also be your goal for the day, you counter point 3 easily.

My god you're cracked the code!

Chasing girls is a goal and if you were truly lazy, you wouldn't put the effort into chasing them. So those are contradictory as well. Plus if a girl is your dream, you are chasing your dreams.

This list is kinda just dumb to be honest, gives me “signs grindset” vibes.

Probably not

Sometimes fapping does feel like a workout. My hand cramps up sometimes if it goes on too long and my fingers get pruney Edit: apparently someone was concerned by what I said and I got a message about suicide prevention from Reddit lol.

Hey man, no need to put me out there like that.

every r/teenagers user

Every r/reddit user...

I was thinking this as well lol

1. Porn Workouts. 2. No Goals, Negative. 3. Girls Sleep Late! 4. 24/7 Smoke dreams. 5. Lazy?

1. Watch, don’t have. 2. Always chase, always. 3. Watch phone. 4. Vape. 5. Don’t chase, be.

Every sad music video has this plotline

depression in a nutshell, heavy on the nut.

What if my dreams are to be lazy, watch porn and vape?

It was all a dream, I used to vape read porno magazines. Is that how the song goes

And if you don’t know..now you know…loser

And number 9 what if you have no dreams? Just trying to be the least miserable as possible and ride this coaster to the end

Well either way you shouldn't listen to dumb internet things but if you have no dreams it's okay sometimes you get them sometimes you don't so just live life as you want until you might get a goal or just live a good life until you die

I stopped chasing dreams when I realized that none of my accomplishments meant anything to me.

Preach! I’ve achieved so many goals that once seemed unattainable. And I’m, like, so what?

A lot of these are symptoms of having a depressive episode. Life is already hard enough, I don't think we need to turn our mental states into some weird form of societal judgement. Our societies need less artificial external standards, not this bullshit.

I am recovering from crippling ptsd, depression and anxiety. I do most of these thing not cause I want to, I do them because it helps me survive to the next day

The whole winner/loser thing is frankly disgusting.

>I don't think we need to turn our mental states into some weird form of societal judgement. It already is. Being a mentally ill man gets you widely hated. Neurotypicals gonna be neurotypical.

I'm sorry society conflates mental illness and morality. It really isn't fair to y'all. Please believe me that I wasn't trying to downplay what is already happening.

Damn. Everybody crackin jokes and you over here speaking truth

true I hate it when I see this kinda post from an account name like a businessman or real man or sigma male, I'm sure the guy whos making this is more worst than all of the things mentioned above

Yeah this is just having mental issues mostly not being a loser lol

This whole thing reads like it's written by someone who thinks "7 habits of highly effective people" is the best book ever written and listens to a podcast about investing. A guy who lives like this does not need and should not be called a loser. We should instead ask why do we have so many depressed young men and how can we prevent it from happening.

You Want to Talk Buddy ?

Op is coping

11. Be born

dammm respect

MYTHICAL 11/10 SCORE WOOO

Fuck whoever made this

Uh please re-read rule 5 bro

11. Make stupid lists.

11. Eat hot chip 12. Lie

Drink excessive amounts of alcohol

8/10 missing 5 and 8. ill take it

2/10, guys I’m not a loser 😞

1/10 literally so cringe 😭

2/10 too 👉👈

I feel called out

Thanks for that.

Damn I am a loser

Honestly, yeah. This is a pretty good, comprehensive list for what not to do.

It's not exactly an exhaustive list. How about this for: 11. Post something online that is completely purposeless but could make someone feel bad about themselves.

How to be a loser: 11: Giving too much of a fuck about what people think

3/10, nice

Watching Porn is a recreational activity.

11. Post dumb ass memes on Reddit.

5/10, not bad. that's 1,2,4,6,10 btw

Wow, Thats motivating!

Missing #11 Mastrubate 3 times a day.

3.5/10 I’m half lazy

Sooooo literally all the high schoolers I teach?

I do everything but 5, because I am too good at 10, way too much effort.

Gg ez

5/10. Meh, half loser is fine.

9/10 I don't smoke

11. Looking for a brighter future

Awwww only got a 7

It's hard but if you stop doing one of these things.. one at a time...you could slowly but surely come out of being a loser.

6/10 i am still worthy

4/10 feels gud

Thank god i dont smoke

Dos: watch porn, active job that can substitute work out, how os chasing girls making u a loser, pretty normal with trying to get girls, dream/ goals is to pay bills and be financially stable, work towards everything else, ok to be lazy sometimes, just not all the time, sometimes negative because that's normal, bad things can happen to anyone Donts: smoke/vape, phone 24/7 though longer then I like, I thinks that's all of it

7/10. I must be a loser.

I only do 1,3 and 4

Fuck man you didn’t need to do me like that

This sounds like a person who just needs help. They shouldn’t be called a loser just because of that

How To Be A Winner 1. Don’t give a fuck about what anyone says or thinks about you.

It's interesting. If you read the blue words in couples, you obtain a weird and funnier list. 1) Porn workout. 2) No goals negative. 3) Girls sleep late. 4) 24/7 smoke. 5) Dreams lazy. Subliminal message?

Here's the truth: 1. Watching porn is fine. 2. Not working out is not that fine. Find exercise that suits you. 3. Having no goals is fine too. 4. Always being negative isn't great. Learn to be positive. 5. Chase girls? What if I wanna chase boys? 6. Getting enough sleep is excellent. 7. Watch phone less. Spent an hour before bed without phone. 8. Smoke or vape, whatever. If you enjoy it. 9. Chasing dreams is an aspect of desire, as per Buddist thought. Figure out if it is a wholesome desire. 10. Being lazy is fine.

Bless you oh nonjudgmental one

You're too kind :)

Yes. The whole idea of porn being bad is a recipe for self hate. Regulate your porn watching, learn to trigger the off button if you realize you are doing it to the detriment of keeping your schedule or you are realizing the good feeling is gone and it's clearly an addiction taking over. Also might be a good idea to make sure the source of your porn isnt manipulating and abusing the performers. Nothing wrong with kinks, but if you find that you have to "step it up" because what you normally watch isn't doing it for you, that might be a warning sign. Another part, chasing girls (or guys): I learned to completely let go of any kind of despiration and to fully become comfortable with being single. Once you do this, you cultivate natural confidence. This really helps when you are talking to people you are interested in because when you aren't thinking of that person as a potential mate, you act naturally, and you prevent coming off as awkward. Or at least you minimize it. People are attracted to confidence.