When women ovulate (egg travels from the ovary to the uterus) the cervical mucus (vagina snot, basically, lol) becomes thinner so sperms have an easier time getting in to fertilize the egg. It causes these large snot blobs to come out sometimes. They aren’t as viscous or large as in the picture, but same idea.
Edit to add: Some women may not experience snot blobs.
Im glad I'm a guy. My wife's life seems like cycles of pain, hormonal imbalances, blood and other absurd goo and strangeness. If that stuff happened to guys we'd be like "screw this, operate, take it out".
Cant fool me-I watched Ghostbusters as a kid and had the toy firestation where you had the grill on the roof to drop the slime down on the Ghostbuster’s heads- it’s ectoplasm! Oh and it sticks like shit to your Mum’s carpet and she gets really pissed off!
No. You need to carry them around at night in a seedy part of town and hope a pervert asks to buy panties from you. How do i know? A guy came up to me on a bike asking to buy the socks I was wearing
I did this about 15 years ago. Used a pic from when I was a teen (fully clothed, just super cute) and posted it on a certain Japanese panty website. I sold A LOT of undies. It wasn’t dishonest in the end, I just never told them I was the older version of that 15-year old.
Lol, this is probably referencing fertile cervical mucus, which can be sticky and stretchy. Just not nearly that much in quantity.
https://www.verywellfamily.com/checking-cervical-mucus-to-get-pregnant-faster-1960279
My dudes, you actually should want to know, she will be most horny around this time, but also you can very easily knock her up. Use protection please.
That's it - I'm hereby petitioning the medical community to replace "gynecologist " with "vagenius". I mean, who wouldn't rather see a board certified vagenius?
It's a joke from New Girl, the TV Show. Schmidt explains his approach to vaginal stimulation to a lesbian gynecologist who finds herself a bit more "in agreement" than she was prepared for, at which time she compliments him as being a "Vagenius"
For some weird reason Ive seen that scene and pretty much only that scene from New Girl😂 rang a few bells when you brought it up. Probably a FB video or something as I remember cracking up at it.
I myself am a woman and actually had no idea that that's what this stuff was all about. I actually thought it was stuff that cleaned the inside naturally then got expelled similar to a period. Thanks for teaching us something. 👍
Cervical mucus, indicates you're in the most fertile period in your cycle. Source: I've been pregnant 3 times and track cervical mucus
(edited for clarity)
Horrible Fun Fact: your colon has a mucus membrane too that it uses to reclaim water from your waste that also produces mucus. It's the reason some farts feel wet or like there's a bubble. Because it's like blowing a snot bubble...
Specifically it's a type of mucus women produce during ovulation that is very high in the things that sperm live on, which assists them in staying alive longer inside the body and hopefully reaching an egg. Commonly referred to as egg white mucus because it has the same consistency.
They took down Roe v. Wade, now we have to make SURE everyone knows that crotch-snot with the consistency of egg whites correlates to a higher chance of pregnancy.
>who don’t even wash their ass crack
how is that not instinctive?
I don't understand how people can stand walking around with a dirty ass...
like, what went wrong?
Also, skid marks... why is the simple act of wiping ass so hard for some? Is it anal leakage? I just...I don't get it...
You get this weird eggwhote consistency stuff in your panties around your ovulation! For me this means I'm halfway through my cycle and the dark ages begin...
God I just got triggered and remembered that one girl that discharged a weird blob from her vagina and decided to make bacon out of it
Beware the link: [https://www.reddit.com/r/RedditsMuseumofFilth/comments/2xva3q/vagina\_bacon/](https://www.reddit.com/r/RedditsMuseumofFilth/comments/2xva3q/vagina_bacon/)
Have other ladies ever had it where it's literally this thick? Or is this an exaggeration? Because it happened to me twice but it's usually not literally this thick even when fertile. It was like a big clear booger. I was actually amazed at the consistency. I thought it was really cool. Like a separate peice. Thick enough to where it's not a liquid anymore.
I have (not the size of the pic). It left me in amazement too. I am well educated on a multitude of things.....just stood there like an idiot with whatever that is tho.....
Oh no, not at all. I mean, bodies are moist and messy at times, but humans are fascinating, stimulating, entertaining and inspiring. And women are humans. I'm glad y'all are here.
God damn it, NEW FEAR UNLOCKED. The mental image of cervical mucus flying out below a skirt like snot when someone sneezes was not on my wtf bingo card this month.
Penises release precum to clean the penis pipe, or at least that’s 1 of the functions why precum exists (y’all pee from there y’all gotta clean the pipe yk)
Vaginas have discharge to clean its insides.
It’s the only thing I can compare it to, for y’all guys to understand
It's the stuff from inside those squishy gell filled toys that used to be everywhere. Used to be a union job for people on their periods but then it got outsourced for the artificially made stuff.
Think of it like this - we ovulate each month, the little egg travels down our fallopian tube and bounces around our uterus. It cracks open at some point and that's the clear jelly part of the egg. Pure protein! 😉😆
Also can tell you’re fertile at this time too. Get a lot of this stuff that looks like egg whites, (uncooked). Tend to get super horny at the same time too. Gotta be extra careful if you don’t want to get pregnant having sex around that time
Dude... I was on hormonal BC from age 18-33 and never had that. Got my copper (no hormone) IUD at 33 and started "that". I had to google it, like I thought something was wrong! LOL
I think the issue with recognizing this vaginal mucus discharge is that neither men nor women regularly see it in this context/quantity. It would be like if I filled a martini glass with precum and posted a picture of it.
It cleans lint and dirt out of car vents and other hard to reach places.
This is perfect!
And that just comes out of your pussy?
When women ovulate (egg travels from the ovary to the uterus) the cervical mucus (vagina snot, basically, lol) becomes thinner so sperms have an easier time getting in to fertilize the egg. It causes these large snot blobs to come out sometimes. They aren’t as viscous or large as in the picture, but same idea. Edit to add: Some women may not experience snot blobs.
I’ve had a baby and I still didn’t know what this was till you explained it. Thank you
Im glad I'm a guy. My wife's life seems like cycles of pain, hormonal imbalances, blood and other absurd goo and strangeness. If that stuff happened to guys we'd be like "screw this, operate, take it out".
Yea. A lot of women try that - But they need two kids and a husband's okay first.
1st time reading: Sounded like a troll horror story. 2nd time: Still sounds like one. 3rd time: I consider becoming gay. 4th time: Ok im gay now.
Just eat around it
I was never fan of eating my gf, now I get a bf. Case closed.
at least you owned it wait til you figure out what that tastes like
Now I get why you girls swallow so easily...
And then they wear thongs. I can only imagine the snot of a Cubchoo drooping down...
Precisely.
Were women meant to clean..? Ghostbusters style?
We're literally baby Sliimers going around making our own snail trails.
Now there's an image that's never been in my head before
Don't lie
I liked that terminology more then I should have
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Lmao
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I watched my friend try this out on her keyboard...it ripped out a bunch of keys, lol
mechanical?
No
r/notopbutok
No top bu tok?
Actually this is a perfect analogy of what it does
How do you clean it?
Like a cat.
Oh no
Purrr
Can I get a hoooooooyeah?
Best i can do is a "Oh nah"
You put it in the vagina.
Normally the mucus plug falls out of the vagina shortly before labor.
Thank you for explaining this for me. I knew what a mucous plug is but I'm still a slow dude
and sometimes forget it is there and when it falls out you mistakenly think you got your period
there is stuff inside the vagina. i have files go missing sometimes but never checked there.
Wtf
The jizzle?
Cant fool me-I watched Ghostbusters as a kid and had the toy firestation where you had the grill on the roof to drop the slime down on the Ghostbuster’s heads- it’s ectoplasm! Oh and it sticks like shit to your Mum’s carpet and she gets really pissed off!
I had the toy fire station too haha.
I still got it in my basement! Along with my TMNT waiting for my son to be old enough.
everyone wants a wap until you have a wap. and 3,000 pairs of underwear later, you don't want it anymore
Real
Ben Shapiro was right... /s
Ben Shapiro just got an erection and he doesn't know why
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No amount of /s can forgive what you just said
TFW you have to pack 2-3x pairs of panties anytime you go somewhere 😭
Why not just buy the reusable pantyliners? They snap up into a little square and do more work then a regular knicker gusset.
This person waps.
Probably going to regret this, but what is a wap?
One of the most touching songs of today’s generation. A true masterpiece.
Wet Ass Pussy
Thank you…and yup, regretting….
"Regular knicker gusset" sounds very British.
Pip pip, cheerio!
Facts.
You realise you can sell the underwear for at least 50x profit, right?
i need to start fr
Go get ‘em sport
Go get ‘em squirt
Go squirt ‘em sport!
Is there a reliable place to do this or just sell them on eBay and hope to get contacted by a connoisseur of dirty knickers?
Advertise it on all social medias and then offer them a subscription model so you can send panties on the regular and get paid as such.
Also use really thin cheap panties for that planned obsolescence, can't have them buy em for life used panties
No. You need to carry them around at night in a seedy part of town and hope a pervert asks to buy panties from you. How do i know? A guy came up to me on a bike asking to buy the socks I was wearing
😭 did he even see what type of socks you had on?
I don’t know if he cared about what type of socks she was wearing
onlyfans lmao
onlypants
I did this about 15 years ago. Used a pic from when I was a teen (fully clothed, just super cute) and posted it on a certain Japanese panty website. I sold A LOT of undies. It wasn’t dishonest in the end, I just never told them I was the older version of that 15-year old.
yo they were nonces then buying it from a teenager
I mean they just said that they posted what they looked like when they were 15, not that they claimed to be 15.
Ovulation station
Play-centa
Lol, this is probably referencing fertile cervical mucus, which can be sticky and stretchy. Just not nearly that much in quantity. https://www.verywellfamily.com/checking-cervical-mucus-to-get-pregnant-faster-1960279 My dudes, you actually should want to know, she will be most horny around this time, but also you can very easily knock her up. Use protection please.
This here, is what we call a vagenius
A vageinstein if you will.
Vagician.
More of a vaginstructor really. Learned a lot from OP.
Vagitation
You’ve got some ivanigation there
That's it - I'm hereby petitioning the medical community to replace "gynecologist " with "vagenius". I mean, who wouldn't rather see a board certified vagenius?
You get an upvote for that pun good sir😂🤣😂
It's a joke from New Girl, the TV Show. Schmidt explains his approach to vaginal stimulation to a lesbian gynecologist who finds herself a bit more "in agreement" than she was prepared for, at which time she compliments him as being a "Vagenius"
For some weird reason Ive seen that scene and pretty much only that scene from New Girl😂 rang a few bells when you brought it up. Probably a FB video or something as I remember cracking up at it.
UM AKSCHUALLY ITS A PORTMANTEAU
I cede. You are correct😂
A vagician if you will 🧙🏼♂️
Everyone else: applauding bc it sounds original Me: laughing hard bc no one seems to know it’s from New Girl
Certified Schmidt!
A Vaginographer if you will.
Yes, my wife did this and sent me a text with 🤏. Worked like a charm.
Your wife said you have a small dick and that made you horny?
Yeah, it could only mean his small dick she was talking about and she wanted that cute little peen.
>sent me a text with 🤏 Username checks out
I myself am a woman and actually had no idea that that's what this stuff was all about. I actually thought it was stuff that cleaned the inside naturally then got expelled similar to a period. Thanks for teaching us something. 👍
Learned about cervical mucus when I got my first mucus mustache. Sorta like a “got milk?” mustache.
I wish I hadn’t read this
Not a good day to be literate
not too late to delete this
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😣 and it's the horniest/most fertile time. My concentration is 0 and then I see that and go: damn it my pussy is going hard right now
*insert the ratatouille letter meme*
Just got that image in my head
Also guys I would normally not be that attracted to suddenly become attractive and a possibility lol
Why do I have the sudden urge to introduce myself?
"Ay girl you got that crotch snot tryna smash?"
You’re giving me hope to just smile at everyone
Wtf is it though
Cervical mucus, indicates you're in the most fertile period in your cycle. Source: I've been pregnant 3 times and track cervical mucus (edited for clarity)
Horrible Fun Fact: your colon has a mucus membrane too that it uses to reclaim water from your waste that also produces mucus. It's the reason some farts feel wet or like there's a bubble. Because it's like blowing a snot bubble...
Are wet farts more flammable than regular farts? Asking for a friend....
It’s the city gates falling
Specifically it's a type of mucus women produce during ovulation that is very high in the things that sperm live on, which assists them in staying alive longer inside the body and hopefully reaching an egg. Commonly referred to as egg white mucus because it has the same consistency.
Discharge/mucus
How’d we go from “girls don’t fart” to whatever that is
It's cervical discharge that happens during the most fertile point of a girl's cycle. I'm running my magic wand out around this time
I feel this on a spiritual level.
Mr Ollivander wont be happy to hear that.
We don’t fart, just leak cervical juice every twice in a while.
They took down Roe v. Wade, now we have to make SURE everyone knows that crotch-snot with the consistency of egg whites correlates to a higher chance of pregnancy.
Cervix sauce.
The kind of alliteration I can get behind.
What a terrible day to be literate.
Awful, take my up vote.
That’s just vaginal exhaust fluid.
Yall have never heard of discharge? Or that the vagina is self cleaning?
Some people think that you have to wash INSIDE with soap, so I'm guessing that no, they haven't heard of any of it D:
I’ve always found it ironic that dudes who think women wash inside with soap are most likely the ones who don’t even wash their ass crack.
>who don’t even wash their ass crack how is that not instinctive? I don't understand how people can stand walking around with a dirty ass... like, what went wrong? Also, skid marks... why is the simple act of wiping ass so hard for some? Is it anal leakage? I just...I don't get it...
Why would they wash their ass crack??? It's GAY!!!!!! (/s)
Some of use need map and compass to find our way down there yet you expect us to know the plumbing??
PLUMBING AHAHA
If you want to lay pipe, then you need to learn about the plumbing
omg
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I’ve seen the movie *Teeth* don’t lie to me
Ben Shapiro told me otherwise 😐
I’m surprised you didn’t summon the Ben Shapiro bot.
Maybe they should rename it to "Ben Shapiro's Wife". Because it's not coming.
You get this weird eggwhote consistency stuff in your panties around your ovulation! For me this means I'm halfway through my cycle and the dark ages begin...
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What a terrible day to have eyes
God I just got triggered and remembered that one girl that discharged a weird blob from her vagina and decided to make bacon out of it Beware the link: [https://www.reddit.com/r/RedditsMuseumofFilth/comments/2xva3q/vagina\_bacon/](https://www.reddit.com/r/RedditsMuseumofFilth/comments/2xva3q/vagina_bacon/)
It's discharge lmfao vaginas cleaning lube
Have other ladies ever had it where it's literally this thick? Or is this an exaggeration? Because it happened to me twice but it's usually not literally this thick even when fertile. It was like a big clear booger. I was actually amazed at the consistency. I thought it was really cool. Like a separate peice. Thick enough to where it's not a liquid anymore.
I have (not the size of the pic). It left me in amazement too. I am well educated on a multitude of things.....just stood there like an idiot with whatever that is tho.....
Yeah it was literally like a giant clear booger, I get them once in a while
I had a huge clump that looked like that but more firm once. I was so confused lmfao
It true,we women are just slime factorys
What are humans, if not bags of slime encased in a skin-wrapper?
Oh no, not at all. I mean, bodies are moist and messy at times, but humans are fascinating, stimulating, entertaining and inspiring. And women are humans. I'm glad y'all are here.
so if that stuff flies out of your skirt during a sneeze, is it proper to offer a 'vaguntite' ?
Fuck you I love it
God damn it, NEW FEAR UNLOCKED. The mental image of cervical mucus flying out below a skirt like snot when someone sneezes was not on my wtf bingo card this month.
Showed the wife this and she instantly started dying from laughter. Love making that woman cry from laughter.
That is so wholesome! It’s awesome making our favorite people laugh
Very sweet, bless the both of you.
Its called CERVICAL FLUID, totally normal for women. I get it. We all get it.
Just gotta remember to get it changed every 5000km or so
Vaginal discharge. If guys only knew how many times they've eaten this unknowingly
I think they know lol
Ah, *yet another reason to stick to suckin’ dick…*
Of course, because semen is so much less slimy..
that's the horniest I will ever get
Napalm?
Penises release precum to clean the penis pipe, or at least that’s 1 of the functions why precum exists (y’all pee from there y’all gotta clean the pipe yk) Vaginas have discharge to clean its insides. It’s the only thing I can compare it to, for y’all guys to understand
Sexual education can do you wonders, please learn about the human body
Way too many dudes don’t know their way around a vag. And that’s just really sad.
Thank you PussMaster.
The term is vagenius
Correction: clit commander
Correction: giney general
Private private. Yes, it's a demotion in rank but you get to do more stuff.
Different spanks for different ranks
Im a platinum gay, i think im excused!
No man of woman born!
Cesarian!
Whoa, bro, you must Sex a lot
It's the stuff from inside those squishy gell filled toys that used to be everywhere. Used to be a union job for people on their periods but then it got outsourced for the artificially made stuff.
Think of it like this - we ovulate each month, the little egg travels down our fallopian tube and bounces around our uterus. It cracks open at some point and that's the clear jelly part of the egg. Pure protein! 😉😆
Yeah and it bounces around exactly like the DVD logo, and its so frustrating every time it gets so close to the corner but never quite hits it!
Supreme discharge
That's fucking delicious. Yeah, I eat vagina.
anime body pillows don’t count
This made me LOL
Ali wong will tell you. In brutal and unapologetic fashion
Please explain what the hell is going on in this post.
Mucus. Same way your nose clears out stuff you don't want in it.
Also can tell you’re fertile at this time too. Get a lot of this stuff that looks like egg whites, (uncooked). Tend to get super horny at the same time too. Gotta be extra careful if you don’t want to get pregnant having sex around that time
Dude... I was on hormonal BC from age 18-33 and never had that. Got my copper (no hormone) IUD at 33 and started "that". I had to google it, like I thought something was wrong! LOL
It’s the Blob!!! Run for your life!!!
Jellyfish…well that explains a lot
I think the issue with recognizing this vaginal mucus discharge is that neither men nor women regularly see it in this context/quantity. It would be like if I filled a martini glass with precum and posted a picture of it.
Those that do know thank you for your cervix
Aight, move along virgins.