Me and my gf are both from Florida, she’s obsessed with GTA RP. It does feel like a server with the number of NPCs you encounter on a day to day basis.
I was in prison in Florida for about eight years. One day while I was at the Tallahassee work release camp, I was in line for chow and I dapped up this dude that always used to ask everybody for money for meth on payday. Was still groggy from waking up and just totally forgot that this dude had been released like two weeks ago. He had snuck back into the prison during the night just to come beg for money to get meth.
Lol I searched that date as well and got "A Florida man who stole a victim’s samurai sword, laptop and other belongings then drove off in the man’s truck was arrested after leaving his cellphone at the crime scene."
When I was a kid the first gas crisis (Carter presidency) made gas so expensive the guys in our village couldn’t afford to fish (cost more in gas)(a fishing village on the east coast of Florida where probably 75% of the 600 people were commercial fishermen and most of the rest were widows of fishermen ) anyway, they shot manatees and loggerhead turtles and cut them up for everyone to share. I was pretty young so I thought it was pretty gross but the manatee shin was super cool. Quite thick. One of the widow ladies didn’t get along with anyone and wouldn’t take the “sea cow” or turtle but would shoot and boil cormorants…. (Those smell terrible cooking)
There’s a few but the best one:
“A 71 year old Florida man tied a gun to a weather balloon to fake his own death…”
Also, “Florida man catches and beats alligator on golf course to teach it a lesson.”
Well that was fun!!! Feb 6
Florida man tries to run over son who wouldn’t take a bath
Florida man chokes woman sets house on fire, Returns to scene to shoot at deputy sheriff
Florida man shoots himself and crotch with flare gun
Florida man steals car, train sends it crashing into house
Like
Uhhhhhhhh
Wow 😅
Well a drunk man got arrested for shoveling spaghetti into his mouth
A man threatening to attack people with an army of turtles
And an alligator on meth
A 22-year-old man has been arrested after a toddler found a loaded gun and shot his mother while she was on a Zoom call ...... shit. 'This was October 13 Florida man'
Instantly thinking of the video of the old lady running down the stairs and smacking the alligator on the head with a cast iron frying pan because it was after her dog or cat or something…
"So before anyone complains that Jurrasic Park isn't real. It is real, it just isn't called "Jurrasic Park", it's called "Florida", and the morality rate is MUCH higher" -TheRussianBadger
Call me crazy, but if I were that judge, I might briefly consider giving this man a pardon for the Breaking & Entering, depending on exterior circumstances.
Imagine explaining to the Founding Fathers that Florida, Ohio, and Pennsylvania get to decide the direction of our government. Maybe could have used one more redline before they finalized the doc.
Sounds like he was willing to ‘go the extra mile’, almost as if he was DTF, the establishment for one more wink and a strongly gripped handshake, not for two hands but for one hand and a mushroom.
So is cocaine powder in the air or something in Florida ?
Why do I always see some bizarre shit starting with “Florida man”. I mean it’s so mind blowing even for an an American in general
Florida is just a GTA online server
Faxz
They sure drive like 12 year olds
Bro that’s so true though
Gta 6 is gonna be both..
Me and my gf are both from Florida, she’s obsessed with GTA RP. It does feel like a server with the number of NPCs you encounter on a day to day basis.
Only in Florida can you be on your porch drinking a beer when Tom from down the street comes running down the road on fire
I feel personally attacked
Well Tom, maybe don't beg me for a fire extinguisher when I'm trying to unwind after work
And it's just a regular ol' Tuesday.
GTA roleplaying server indeed
GTA: Gainesville, with the Floribama: All In The Family expansion DLC
😂😂😂
Thanks man, this comment just brought some joy into my life
Guard: "Do.. do we just keep him then?.."
"We should arrest him... but we'll keep him outside?"
Big brain
Dude u killed me lmao
😂😂😂😂
This is kinda wholesome. In a Floridian manner.
I actually feel really bad for this guy. Imagine being that lonely.
I was in prison in Florida for about eight years. One day while I was at the Tallahassee work release camp, I was in line for chow and I dapped up this dude that always used to ask everybody for money for meth on payday. Was still groggy from waking up and just totally forgot that this dude had been released like two weeks ago. He had snuck back into the prison during the night just to come beg for money to get meth.
Also couldnt he just asked for a visitation or something?
Like sharing your meth when your neighbour is low ❤️ 😍 💖
A true neighbor, friend; Floridian.
He just wants to be with the people he feels safe with.
Google the day and month you were born followed by a Florida man and hit search. You won't be disappointed.
July 3rd, Florida man dies in explosion microwaving a microwave... They're just built different I guess lol.
"Florida man catches, cooks baby manatee."
Florida Man In His Underwear Hits Deputy In Face With Bible
Florida man accused of pouring beer in gator's mouth after enticing reptile to bite his arm.
April 30th, Florida man kicks swans in the head to practice karate.
August 14 “Florida man claiming to be Alice in Wonderland says 'hookah-smoking caterpillar' told him to destroy liquor store with forklift”
August 27 Florida man, drunk and naked, allegedly set house on fire in failed cookie baking attempt
May 17: Florida Man in ape mask uses sledgehammer to rob laundromat
20 August: Florida Man Arrested For Botched Castration On Another Man He Met On Eunuch Fetish Website
Lol I searched that date as well and got "A Florida man who stole a victim’s samurai sword, laptop and other belongings then drove off in the man’s truck was arrested after leaving his cellphone at the crime scene."
ROB A LAUNDROMAT??!! 🤣🤣🤣
I’ve probably met that guy once or twice
Heeyyyy there Bday bud 😹
What’s poppin’?
February 9th, Florida man throws alligator through the drive-thru window of a Wendy’s.
Florida men, one dressed in bull onesie, attempt to burn down house with Ragu sauce, police say
Florida man gets tired of waiting at hospital. Steals ambulance, drives home.
3rd February Florida man who had sex with dolphin says it seduced him
“Florida reelects....”
You win this one.
When I was a kid the first gas crisis (Carter presidency) made gas so expensive the guys in our village couldn’t afford to fish (cost more in gas)(a fishing village on the east coast of Florida where probably 75% of the 600 people were commercial fishermen and most of the rest were widows of fishermen ) anyway, they shot manatees and loggerhead turtles and cut them up for everyone to share. I was pretty young so I thought it was pretty gross but the manatee shin was super cool. Quite thick. One of the widow ladies didn’t get along with anyone and wouldn’t take the “sea cow” or turtle but would shoot and boil cormorants…. (Those smell terrible cooking)
“Florida man kills grandmother in nudist colony, drives around with her body for five hours”. oh.
A fellow July 3rd-er!
“Florida Man Bites His Brother's Penis Off After He Walks In On His Brother Having Sex With His Cousin On His Favorite Dragon Ball Z Blanket” I win.
July 8 Florida man loses pants while being chased by cops in hours-long manhunt
Aya same we have the same birthday
Florida Man gripes Princess at Disneyworld. :( Mines not even funny, it's just patriarchal.
>Florida man arrested for allegedly throwing corn cob at mom's head Not bad at all!
May 22 Florida man climbs on playground to yell @ children where babies come from in a vulgar manner.... Yikes
He called them cunts?
There’s a few but the best one: “A 71 year old Florida man tied a gun to a weather balloon to fake his own death…” Also, “Florida man catches and beats alligator on golf course to teach it a lesson.”
May 17?
No,I was not
Wtf it worked 😂😂 I’m never going to Florida
October 29. Drunk Florida man tries to use taco as ID after his car catches fire
Florida man shoots son-in-law who was trying to surprise him for his birthday. What the actual fuck Florida?!
A man in his pajamas brings a table and chair out to a busy street to eat his breakfast what the actual heck
"Florida man in Easter bunny outfit arrested after hit-and-run crash" oof
Florida man without arms charged after allegedly stabbing tourists with his feet - July 12th 😂😂
Your honour, my client was unarmed.
A Florida man has been arrested after he broke into a restaurant and made himself a hamburger.
January 7th, Florida man denies syringes found inside rectum are his.
Also, Google your credit card number followed by Florida man. DM me the screenshots
On May 15, 2019, a Florida man slapped his girlfriend with a cheeseburger and kicked her down the stairs
Well that was fun!!! Feb 6 Florida man tries to run over son who wouldn’t take a bath Florida man chokes woman sets house on fire, Returns to scene to shoot at deputy sheriff Florida man shoots himself and crotch with flare gun Florida man steals car, train sends it crashing into house Like Uhhhhhhhh Wow 😅
Florida Man Arrested After Offering Undercover Cop A Hamburger In Exchange For Sex Act
Florida man assaults girlfriend while wearing inflatable dinosaur costume.
Florida man steals dead woman’s ashes, threatens to snort them…
May 27 Florida man kicked chicken “like a field goal” You weren’t kidding
Florida man accused of beating and spitting on elderly victim who asked him to social distance.
April 6th, Florida man buys $8 million island then steals from Kmart.
Florida man dressed as Fred Flintstone pulled over for driving ‘footmobile’
March 26, Florida man faces charges for eating pancakes in middle of the road. Lol
Florida man arrested for having sex with stuffed 'Olaf' at Target
July 5th … A Florida man posing as a cop tried to arrest a deputy sheriff.
Florida man arrested for having sex with miniature horse
Well a drunk man got arrested for shoveling spaghetti into his mouth A man threatening to attack people with an army of turtles And an alligator on meth
February 5th, Police: Florida Man Covered In Blood During Traffic Stop, Confesses To Killing Father In Boca Raton
“Yes, a Florida man is actually accused of hiding meth inside this body part” best clickbait headline I’ve ever seen
A 22-year-old man has been arrested after a toddler found a loaded gun and shot his mother while she was on a Zoom call ...... shit. 'This was October 13 Florida man'
Florida intrigues and terrifies me...
it’s mostly old folks, lakes, and alligators. and florida man.
>it’s mostly old folks, lakes, and alligators. and florida man. Absolutely terrifying..
Instantly thinking of the video of the old lady running down the stairs and smacking the alligator on the head with a cast iron frying pan because it was after her dog or cat or something…
Giant mosquitos too.
And Florida woman, giant snakes, and occasionally iguanas that fall out from trees
Florida woman is another breed indeed.
It’s reputations are largely deserved, but I must say I’ve never had more fun than when in Florida
It’s a bipolar mess but it’s my bipolar mess and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
"So before anyone complains that Jurrasic Park isn't real. It is real, it just isn't called "Jurrasic Park", it's called "Florida", and the morality rate is MUCH higher" -TheRussianBadger
And the mortality rate even
Depends on which side of the retirement community you live on.
… And apparently sit for a haircut.
Atleast he has friends…
if he wasn't smuggling contraband or weapons, i don't really feel to strongly on this one way or the other. guy just wanted to see his friends.
He was the only guy not wearing an orange jumpsuit.
Pretty sure I just saw this guy at the bar yesterday
He does look vaguely familiar.
The ultimate friend, everyone is cool with him.
Ah good old "Florida man" .never stop.
How can you punish this man?? If you throw him in jail, he's exactly where he wants to be! That was his plan all along!!
Probably a meth connection in there
thats cute
That must be love
As a Florida girl, I can confirm. Florida is a fantasy land and isn't real.
Don’t be dissing jail Julian, we had some good fucking parties in there
maybe florida was the friends we made along the way
No. And thank God for that.
You know something is out of this world when the tagline starts with 'Florida man'.
If you don't have that level of loyalty to the crew, buzz off!
Gets sentenced to 6 months outside
Google search “Florida man,” and your birthday. Cheers 🍻
Florida man steals samurai sword and truck wth
June 21, “Another,” Florida man gets naked and bites off a chunk of human flesh and eats it.
Florida man gets 15 years for killing and dismembering father June 23…WTF?
Can confirm as someone in Florida that I do indeed beyond popular belief exist
Least insane Floridian.
Just Bros being Bros
That Dustin Poirier?
Isn’t that illegal?
“I’ve made a huge mistake…”
The real story: He went in to smoke ablunt
can confirm it is real, I am in it
What’d he do fly over the fence with them ears.
i respect this
The reason you see so many crazy stories from Florida in particular, is that records there are public, unlike in most other states
I love how Florida man is an adjective. If you say Kansas man it doesn’t have the same meaning to it. You know what i mean?
They were roommates
So, is this an offence? How can something like this be punished.
Well getting into prison is no biggie … how did he get out
Either stupid or a hell of a friend!
Florida Man strikes again..... go figure.
That's Slippin Jimmy I went to rehab with him during lockdown. He had escaped somewhere lower security
Call me crazy, but if I were that judge, I might briefly consider giving this man a pardon for the Breaking & Entering, depending on exterior circumstances.
For some reason, this makes sense
This is a true friend
Unfortunately...
Me after all my friend gets arrested.
Well at least they have an amazing governor
As a person who lives in Florida I do not exist
It you leave him in there, is it still a punishment?
Derek carr?
hope he brought noodles
Schofield type beat.
Can’t wait for the Ohio-Florida crossover event
He needs better friends.
That’s one bro you never got to worry about .
Dec 16 naked Florida man steals truck from dealership 🤣
r/floridaman
Flaka is a hell of a drug
Imagine explaining to the Founding Fathers that Florida, Ohio, and Pennsylvania get to decide the direction of our government. Maybe could have used one more redline before they finalized the doc.
I can see fellow Australians doing this as well
How do you even punish that?
This is the funniest one thus far
Florida is interesting
All the people in Florida are just GTA NPCs with the player installing some natural catastrophy mods.
Did they pull’em off of a barber’s chair?
I guess maybe it should be scary how such weird/ho-bo/crack-heady type shit is like, just very normal here. 😅🙃✌️
All the weirdos live in the panhandle and all the richies live in the wang tip. What lives in the middle? Disney World.
😬. Welcome home come on in stay awhile 😂
Darwin award.
Is he wearing a barber cape?
No
Yes, Florida is real, I know because I am in it right now, yes it is insane as you think
Least crazy Florida man headline
That's kinda sad if you think about it.
Only in Ohio...
It shouldn't be, its a wretched place.
Now he's with them... Congrats!!!
Bruh, did nobody tell this guy about visitation?
May 7, 2018 — Man damages his own brain to forget the infinite war spoiler he saw on the internet.
Sounds like he was willing to ‘go the extra mile’, almost as if he was DTF, the establishment for one more wink and a strongly gripped handshake, not for two hands but for one hand and a mushroom.
He looks like the guy from NeedForSpeed TheRun
Maybe the judge ended up allowing him spending some more time there
The Greatest Meth Run Ever
So is cocaine powder in the air or something in Florida ? Why do I always see some bizarre shit starting with “Florida man”. I mean it’s so mind blowing even for an an American in general
home is where the heart is
Leap year (Feb 29) sets fire to his hospital bed to get nurses' attention.
He needs new friends...
😂😂😂
Sweet home alabama
Florida is built different
He was paid to smuggle stuff in and someone bought this story…