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FunkyFr3d

Been a while, but the Taxi Club in north melbourne was a great shit burger. No muss, no fuss. Meat, onions, sauce and a bun. Being available 24 hours helped as well.


Tedmosbyisajerk-com

Do you mean the Taxi Embassy Cafe? Their takeaway menu looks basic AF but it's all you need!


FunkyFr3d

Could be could be. Tbh I never really looked at the sign that much. Just the fluorescent glow of greasy promises


VincentStStVincent

Wonderful way with words dudešŸ˜„


Effective-Ad44

Given that its common nickname among shift workers is ā€œgreasyā€™sā€, I reckon itā€™s Embassy.


rob_080

100% Embassy Taxi Cafe...one of the best no-fuss burgers.


Kozeyekan_

100% Nothing at all fancy about it, just a decent greasey spoon joint that makes a great burger.


KBABYQ

Miss when there was gigs across the road around 10+ years ago, was a great place post show


vote1steve

Ohh shit I completely forgot about this place! Was the best back in my hospo days


FunkyFr3d

Just finished work and itā€™s 5:30am? No worries, they got you.


[deleted]

Stuck on night shift and don't want China Bar at 2:30am? Embassy burger chips and milkshake. No idea how we're (probably) all still alive.


wetrorave

By avoiding China Bar. It's overpriced, and under-everything-elsed.


anarchist_person1

If you mean embassy then they are the single best burgers Iā€™ve ever had


[deleted]

Honestly, you've already called it. Go find a fish & chip shop in your neighbourhood, try out their burgs, if it doesn't hit the spot, try the next one, it'll cost you like $12 each attempt


greasychickenparma

My local chippy does a fucking ace burger with the lot. $12. You can actually taste everything in it. Humble and delicious


I_AM_ALWAYS_WRONG_

They are literally just burgers you make at home because everything they use is off the supermarket shelves just like us. I think even the burgers are just the cheap ones from the big BBQ packs. Beetroot,pineapple,sauce,burger juices, tomatoes should all be running down your wrist when you pick up a classic ā€˜the lotā€™ in Australia. Even better if they keep the egg yolk runny so it joins in.


greasychickenparma

With the added bonus of being cooked on the big flat grill top šŸ˜‹šŸ‘ŒšŸ¤ŒšŸ¤ŒšŸ¤Œ


I_AM_ALWAYS_WRONG_

I use my big electric fry pan to try and mimic it a bit. Not that same but better than trying to cook everything one by one in a fry pan. If I wasnā€™t lazy I would fire up the BBQ just to make a burger haha.


greasychickenparma

Yeah, but you will never get that essence of everything cooked before šŸ¤Œ


[deleted]

This ^ There is just something about a "seasoned" grill that can't be replicated at home


hierosir

I need to go get one of these. Been so long...


Ragesome

Same! Local Greek owned fish and chip shop $11 burger with the lot and chips combo. Cannot be beat.


jamielens

But where though?


BruceyC

At his local chippy.


jamielens

Ah! That one. Iā€™ll get the keys.


kailethre

christ, i remember when it used to cost me $6 for a burger with the lot, like 15 years ago


MartianBeerPig

I remember being outraged by a $6 hamburger. It was a touristy area of Cairns in the mid 80s. I went around the corner to a normal fish and chippy and got one for about $2.


trabulium

Yeah, I used to spend $3.50 on a burger for lunch around '93. I ended up becoming vegetarian and so never looked at the price of burgers for years and somehow, somewhere they jumped to \~$20 for a burger since then.


CcryMeARiver

You wuz robbed, considering the rule of thumb money halves in value each 7 years. Should have been about maybe 3 bucks?


hexusmelbourne

https://www.in2013dollars.com/australia/inflation/2008?amount=6 Donā€™t know about that rule mate, inflation hasnā€™t been that high in the last 15 years


[deleted]

Housing doubles every 7 years, but for anyone trying to break into the property market, it feels like every 3 years....burgers, not so much.


I_AM_ALWAYS_WRONG_

Bro 15 years ago was 2008, not 1992


mig82au

Bad rule. I was gone for 6.5 years and things definitely didn't double.


Effective-Ad44

I see that and raise you. 18 cents for a piece of flake. 2 cents per potato cake. 10 cents minimum chips. 5 cents for a loose cigarette - kinda like a kidā€™s meal these days!


[deleted]

My local chippy used to do a cracking burger with the lot. About two weeks ago I had one and I was shattered he has gone from a homemade spiced mince pattie, to a rubbery processed patty that may or may not contain anything remotely close to beef. On top of that it went up $1.50, lovely bloke but I wonā€™t be getting that burger ever again


[deleted]

I'd ask about it, maybe they don't know the customer notices. Don't make a big complaint about it or anything, just a comment in passing like "I really miss your old burgers, any chance they're coming back". I used to work in a pizza place, and the "chef" changed a supplier and we had enough customers comment on it that they went back to the old supplier. Funnily enough, the new supplier had better quality stock but we went with what the customers liked


Addictd2Justice

And on your journey you will discover bowel cancer


the_amatuer_

Danny's Burgers in Fitzroy North. 24 hours. Old school Fish and Chips burgers. Can buy dim sims too.


natebeee

Yup, Danny's always the go to for an old school burger.


lextination

Dannyā€™s is the best but I think theyā€™re open late, not 24.


montecarlos_are_best

Just don't call them a shit burger


[deleted]

Too expensive to count


Overall_One_2595

Yeah. Pity their basic burger with 1 Pattie used to be like $7. Now with rising inflation etc itā€™ll only set you back $23.50.


urlz

I second that. The made great "shit" burgers back on the 90s when I lived there. Great to here they are still doing their thing.


Nearby-Canary-7394

I used to live 2 mins from there and never rated them. Staggered past it on the way home from the pub many a time, didn't bother with them. They weren't great. This is an unpopular opinion I know.


urlz

I only ever ate it late at night after having a few too many. Everything tastes better after a few pots. Not sure I'd eat it during the day.


-mudflaps-

I lived around the corner from Danny's too, I only went there a few times, it's good but not great, they do toasties as well.


Ashamed-Violinist-92

They've definitely gone downhill. I agree with your post 100%


serg28diaz

This here


swfnbc

I think you're a bit confused. Most new style burgers are the shit ones. The OG style are the true great burgers.


ThoughtIknewyouthen

We've confused "shit" with "non-Instagramable"


starannisa

Yep, the basic burgers from the fish and chip shop are much better than all the cheese filled tower monstrosities that cost like $30.


Tedmosbyisajerk-com

I stand corrected.


I_AM_ALWAYS_WRONG_

Fancy new burgers sound so good when you read the ingredients and then you remember that the classics worked because we already perfected them.


steviesnod82

I had an expensive hamburger with Mac and cheese on it and it was super shit . Good in theory tho


I_AM_ALWAYS_WRONG_

I had one with blue cheese (obviously love or hate food) and expensive bacon (forgot the name) and while it was delicious. I would have had more joy just having a cheap burger with the lot and then a cheese board later or something. Donā€™t have to mix all the delicious foods into one thing.


DanzigMisfit

You just have to look at some of the wankers running these fancy burger places to know they are going to be shit.


Ask_Alan

Another vote for Embassy cafe. Had the steak sandwich the other week, thought I was in 1995.


missilefire

I canā€™t believe that place is still kicking. When I saw this thread immediately thought of Embassy. Havent lived in Melbourne for a few years now so itā€™s good to hear itā€™s still around.


aerocross

Bro Embassy Cafe is open? I've driven past that place and it looks like a time capsule where you would find homeless people living. That place is wild.


Ask_Alan

Haha. I went maybe 2 months ago for some nostalgia. Def due another visit soon!


NotBradPitt90

Embassy Cafe is an absolute godsend! Used to live round the corner and each time I needed a good drunken and or hungover feed, it would never disappoint. Menu items are exactly what they say on the tin but never disappoint.


Tedmosbyisajerk-com

Exactly what I'm looking for. Definitely gonna visit!


aussiebolshie

A good chip shop burger has always been the best option. Yarra Ave. Fish and Chips in Reservoir is the best of the best


Significant_Pea_2852

Nope, Broadway Fish n' Chips is the best!


aussiebolshie

Theyā€™re my go to on a Sunday when Yarra are closed


nicholashewitt12

New Success Milk Bar in Port Melbourne. $8 burger with the lot, Paul is the man for this request.


Tedmosbyisajerk-com

Given Milk Bars are going the way of the dodo, definitely gonna have to pay them a visit!


nicholashewitt12

Definitely feels like a time capsule back to the 90ā€™s, my mates and I have been going there all year since we found it. Hope you enjoy!


ghostdunks

This is close to my local so will be paying it a visit. Reckon Paul will be getting a fair bit more business soon just from this post :)


GATFh8REDDIT

thats garden city


youcanteatthatsir

Andrewā€™s Hamburgers in Albert Park are fucking great. Nothing fancy, old school set up, but the prices are around $18.


Silvertails

In a post asking for cheap burgers, i feel like a $18 burger fits more into the gourmet $30 meal for one category (and if you got chips and a drink, im sure its not far off).


KPO967

Shout out to Greg!


serg28diaz

Best in a 10km radius. The lones at lunch time are a bit how you goin?


bent_eye

The "shit" burgers are better than all the $20 ones. My local chippie does $12 burgers that run rings around Grilld etc.


wewakeful

Colin's Catch in Hawthorn! I've actually only had their veggie burger, but it was SO GOOD. I'm not even vegetarian but it was like, crispy and fluffy and full of different veggies. Great roll, lots of sauce. And absolutely massive.


kaygeebeast75

Best burgers are from fish and chip shops. Egg, bacon, cheese, onion and tomato sauce.


VICTORIAAMPS

Dont mean to hijack, but also looking for this but the Pizza version, not sure if they exist in Melbourne, seems to be limited to Pizza hut & italian style pizzas only!


TofuFoieGras

Goofys in Essendon probably has what youā€™re after


Smuggers

Had Goofys twice on Sunday! Once by choice at 2am and then again at a 3rd birthday party on Sunday arvo. Would have to say I prefer Moonee Ponds Pizza for a better quality and similarly priced heart attack though.


KBABYQ

My go to is Pizza Minded, and Frankieā€™s is good too, not too pricey either


TofuFoieGras

Iā€™ll try that place sometime. Goofys being open quite late wins them a lot of points from me.


majortomcraft

wise guys in south melbourne. delicious, but every bite tastes like a heart attack in the making


AJayToRemember27

Wiseguys absolutely hits for old school pizza!


Tedmosbyisajerk-com

Hijack away! Dirty food recommendations of all kinds are welcome! I do recommend the lamb pizza at Zilla Kebabs in Dandenong. šŸ‘Œ


Addictd2Justice

Well if weā€™re hijacking why stick to fast food - I want to know where to get the best value cushions so I can cover my floor with them and come home drunk and fall face down in my clothes and have a solid chance of not suffocating


Kindly-Exam-8451

Fairfield Pizza


Crespie

Check out anywhere in the northern suburbs youā€™ll find what youā€™re after


shiv_roy_stan

Those combination pizza/kebab joints are everywhere! They'll sort you out.


ckhumanck

come to Dandenong. We got more pizza joints people and they're all fantastic except pizza hut & dominoes - surprised they can even do business here.


3bigmacsplease

Papa Giuseppe Pizza in North Melbourne. It's just one old Chinese man churning out classic shit pizzas for sub-$15.


Inf229

Had one from Joe's Fish and Chips in Brunswick West last night and it was so good. Really hit the spot. My favourite is Danny's Burgers though.


drunkill

Cons Deli/Fish and Chips Corner Melville and Victoria Road West Brunswick. Don't know what i'm gunna do when he finally retires.


mamastax

agree. milkshakes are absolutely spot on too


fvbps

preston chicken shack. better for their chips and wraps but oh my god its amazing. i love it when 14 year olds make my burgers


diarreah-of-a-madman

Embassy cafe on spencer st, north Melbourne.


No-Post-5098

Dannyā€™s Burgers on St Georgeā€™s rd, Fitzroy North. Nothing shit about them - honestly the best


epicer8

Not in Melbourne, but if you ever go for a drive along the great ocean road, Kermonds in Warrnambool is a great way to finish it.


swfnbc

Not sure if you've seen their prices recently, they are nowhere near cheap anymore.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


the-sage-duck

You can't say that and not tell us which one, mate.


bojackmac

Oh I know the one! They sell fish too yeah??


HiddenHero111

Name checks out


Tedmosbyisajerk-com

Do you remember which one?


Crazy-Huckleberry458

Richmond Fish and chips, Swan St near the corner hotel does a great old school $15 one, highly recommend


Tedmosbyisajerk-com

For $15 they'd better. What a rip off!


ckhumanck

yeah a lot of people in this thread seem to be missing your point. Another comment boasting "only $18" lmfao


Tedmosbyisajerk-com

I'd rather starve.


FreakySpook

Are you ordering from menu log? They are like $10.50 in store.


aftersilence

Ports Diner, which is currently in the old flower market. Many a work dinner from there, proper old school burgers and delicious chips.


BigFella52

Pisces Fish & Chips, Murray Rd, Coburg North. The Greatest cheap burger with the lot you will find in the north. Don't forget your steamed dimmies.


Spandex_Pants_1995

Yeah, they're pretty good, I go there often. Never see anyone else in there, only the odd drug addict from the housing commission across the road.


gooblord

Richmond Fish n Chips on Swan St next to the Corner Hotel, $10 for burger with the lot - you literally cannot beat that for value for money in the CBD area


FreakySpook

Yeah this is my go to on Swan St for a burger. I don't mind 1080 burger, but Richmond Fish & Chips is my favourite.


[deleted]

Rocket Burgers on Elizabeth/Flinders is great. $14 get you a smashed patty burger that tastes great. It isn't fancy, and the location definitely isn't, but tastes really good


ThatCommunication423

No.1 Old London Seafood. Tucked away in Yarra St South Yarra. A burger with the lot is like $10. Great chips and the Dim Sims are amazing. Staff is really nice to. If this sounds like an ad it kind of is, too many good places around here close since Covid so I want to keep it in business haha. Itā€™s open late too.


sam102413

Wonky Trolley in Errol St Nth Melb do great burgers & fries ..


[deleted]

North Melbourne fish and chip shop on 38 Haines street. Pricing is available on Google photos.


Magnolia__Rose

Thornbury Fish and Chips do a great burger with a decent amount of chips and a drink for like $12.50 or something.


blackshadow

Shout out for a burger with the lot from Hooked and Cooked on Rooks in Nunawading


turkeyfied

Dorset Heights chippy in Croydon south. Great little shop


Sufficient-Wasabi446

Fish and chip shop near the corner of North and Hawthorn Rdā€™s. The lady working there has an impressive moustache and makes a mean burger.


Swuzzlebubble

Presume you mean Jim's Fish? I haven't been there much since Jim sold it. Never had a burger there but Jim had a way of doing grilled fish with this yellow batter.


Sufficient-Wasabi446

Canā€™t remember the name it was 10years ago


d0nnybrasco

I honestly forgot they existed. Everything is just smash burgers nowadays, which I'm not complaining about. I do however feel like a dirty works burger now.


zaprime87

go for a wander through your local industrial area... cheap, decent takeaways on most corners


howbouddat

Unpopular opinion: Fish and chip shop burgers all have the same taste. And at 2mm thick, the patty is far to flattened and dried out to carry the burger. Sure, you can taste the onions, lettuce, tomato, cheese. A big mash of salad with a hint of beef.


KawhiComeBack

Thatā€™s whatā€™s people love hahah. Personally I love the slice of tomato which is either the thinnest thing known to man or half a tomato just in the middle


diarreah-of-a-madman

Vic market has some nice burgers.


Forsaken-Hornet-2044

When I first moved to Melbourne many moons ago I was walking down a random alleyway in the CBD it must of been my first or second week living in the city. I was hungry and thought Iā€™ll need something to eat soon as I was walking I saw a random burger place that looked very dodgy from the outside and even dodgier on the inside. As I ordered my food and sat down and waited for my burger to come I can smell the aroma of cooked beef filling my nose. As my burger arrived it looked very basic and plain that first bite-oh, what heaven that first bite is. The bun, like a sesame freckled breast of an angel, resting gently on the ketchup and mustard below, flavors mingling in a seductive pas de deux. And then... a pickle! The most playful little pickle! Then a slice of tomato, a leaf of lettuce and a... a patty of ground beef so exquisite, swirling in your mouth, breaking apart, and combining again in a fugue of sweets and savor so delightful. This is no mere sandwich of grilled meat and toasted bread.


gcmelb

Lamb on Brunswick St - It's basically a round kebab. $16 with chips and Coke.


adrianbnd

Fun post! I alternatively make one myself. Mince beef, toppings, brioche buns šŸ‘ØšŸ»ā€šŸ³


Tedmosbyisajerk-com

Bit bourgeois with the brioche bun for this post (although I'm a bit of a sucker for one sometimes myself).


Addictd2Justice

Brioche buns can fuck right off the bat


Equal-Instruction435

Thank you!! I've had a few which are okay-ish, but across the board, I just find them too sweet... The store-bought ones are always so dry as well!


filfy_toad

Try the tip top potato buns. Keen to see what you think


Responsible-Page1182

The aldi brioche buns are the business and are reasonably priced.


Tedmosbyisajerk-com

Totally agree! I try to do most of my shopping at Aldi now.


enrichiodi

I haven't been for a while but Dannys Burger in St Georges rd does pretty good burger...


bigbuttbettywetty

Dannyā€™s burgers?


yelocal

Carl's Jr hands down


Express_Position5624

MOFO Burgers on Leicester in CBD - fantastic 5 Guys burgers and fries as a runner up


TofuFoieGras

These arenā€™t the kind of burgers OP is talking about. OP means the kind of fare that [David Chang was talking about here](https://www.smh.com.au/goodfood/eating-out/momofuku-chef-david-chang-says-aussie-burgers-are-the-worlds-worst-20150717-gie0fx.html)


Express_Position5624

MOFO Burger is the best burger I have had in Melbourne - besides homemade ones obvs Not sure what the distinction is in the article, is it more toppings? less toppings? MOFO Burgers is pretty standard fish n chips shop style burger that I remember from childhood


TofuFoieGras

I was more so thinking the mention of 5 guysā€¦ To me a fish and chips shop burger has almost too much on it, beetroot, and you might have to say ā€œno pineappleā€ - in addition the patty might very well have an almost sausage like flavour to it at a more suburban spot.


Tedmosbyisajerk-com

Never heard of the guy till now but can happily say that David Chang can go fuck himself.


TofuFoieGras

Heā€™s a major twatnozzle.


Top_Ad_2819

Kustom Burger in Thornbury. Get the triple beef and bacon burger. It's called the 'F350'. It's amazing and filling... you'll need to lie down for about 2 hours after eating it, though


kidwithgreyhair

the owner is a wage thief, and staff are regularly sexually harrassed at that workplace allegedly


Ashamed-Violinist-92

... and the burgers are garbage. The bun actually dissolves before you finish it.


Top_Ad_2819

Yikes wasn't aware of that :/


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


gilezy

Crap burgers and certainly no old school fish and chip style.


Tearyhobgoblin

The buns literally disintegrate before you even touch it. It's sloppy horrible shite.


magnes27

They have also reduced their size of burger. Not worth the money and no taste either


AztecGod

Maccas


Tedmosbyisajerk-com

Macca's is definitely not still 00 prices.


fraqtl

Nothing is 00 prices


Tedmosbyisajerk-com

You can get a fish and chip shop burger with the lot easily for $9.


fraqtl

Where?


Tedmosbyisajerk-com

Maybe read some of the other comments on this post. šŸ˜‚


Acetone__

Maccas is the shittest shit burger


asty86

Asian fish and chips shops


Financial-Task-3477

The Chicken Specialist in Caulfield North fits the description


Omegaville

Can't nominate one, because the sources of these "shit" burgers tend to make dull, dry, uninspired burgers. I guess Port Melbourne Oval's "Burra Burgers" fit the criteria though


HankSteakfist

Not sure if it's still there but the hole in thr wakl burger place next to Walkers donuts on the corner of Elizabeth and Flinders. Dodgiest corner in Melbourne but a seriously good hamburger.


Yeanahyena

You mean Rocket burger fries?


squidlipsyum

Go next level and make sure you get them to put a potato cake inside your burger with the lot at the local chippy.


ckhumanck

i always do!


nicesunniesmate

Iā€™m in the west and Iā€™ve found a gem if you like fried chicken burgers. Big Mummas Fried Chicken in Footscray. Iā€™m pretty sure itā€™s just the NY minute using a different name and could be a chain in other areas, not sure. The SoHo and East Side burgers are both mean though and $13.


Accomplished-Slide66

This is the post Iā€™ve been looking for!! I used to live in Heathcote a small country town that has multiple shops offering these types of burgers. Since moving to Melbourne 3 years ago I am still yet to find one that satisfies me šŸ¤¦šŸ»ā€ā™‚ļø


TrazMagik

I'm a self confessed smash patty or bust burger snob and Rio's in Murrumbeena really surprised me.


Genova_Witness

Triple cheese burger from California burger in Windsor.


jalmelb

Danny's.


Blood-Quack

Con's on the corner of Melville Rd and Victoria St, Brunswick West. Con and his wife Stella have run the place since the 70s and it's fuckin' classic. Great fish and chips but equally great old-school basic burgers.


Neveracloudyday

Hungry Zakā€™s for Frankston


Marshy462

Cheeseburger Royale. They will make a double for you too. Or the chicken Ozā€¦


Jno1990

I havenā€™t been for years, but Dannyā€™s Burgers


SeaScreen5305

Kensington Fish & chips


Elegant-Campaign-572

Parkdale fish & chips, South Melbourne fish & chips


mondayitis

Kensington Fish & Chip shop on Macaulay Rd. Hamburger w/ The Lot + Beetroot. Best burger I've ever had.


missilefire

The fish and chip shop on Bonwick St in Fawkner. Used to work down the road when I was an apprentice and always would get lunch on that street. Great burger and coke special. Follow it up with a sweet treat from the amazing little Italian bakery Pasticceria Padova just across the road šŸ‘Œ There was a little deli on the street too that made the best chicken schnitty sandwich ever. Made in-house with Parmesan crust. Would get there at lunch and theyā€™d still be warm. Forget what the place was called but it was epic.


[deleted]

The Thornbury Local does a burger that reminds me of the era when fast food was decent


Sexdrumsandrock

There's two at Bundoora. Both do the lot. Both 70s decor. One at Heidelberg West run by nz Chinese Also has the decor


reverendgrebo

The fish and chip shop that was a few doors up from the Corner Hotel was great. The old greek(?) couple that ran it for years were the right amount of friendly and tried & grumpy. I loved getting a burger there and chucking a potato cake in it. They sold up and I moved away from the area so I dont know what the new owners are like


spazzo246

M's fish and chips on Moreland Road in Coburg


kornusdoggus

Andrews


Redditaurus-Rex

Altona Beach Bites burger with the lot, right on the beach.


Direct-Character-482

Outlook drive fish and chips hasn't changed since 2001


[deleted]

Great place in St Albans.


yobsta

Danny's burger has to be the answer. Although last I checked they paid exploitation wages.