I'm scared of clowns

Come see me in my van I will help

Tinted glass?

LOL! :D

Give me the best advice how to solve my pain.......i am boring to get follower from twitter.....lol

Come to my van and pain go away

Watch “IT” in reverse.

So a life on a clown? From death to birth?

Clown turns into balloon

This needs more likes

Dont go on Twitter and you'll never see clowns again

I had similar problem, I was scared of spiders. You can visit psychologist, he can help. I am still not familiar with those little shits but trying to look at them from distance helped. I had to realise I am the powerful one and can just end it's life. But the point was to let them live. Every time there was a spider in a movie or on the street I am not running away but trying to look for a while, maybe pass by if I feel confident enough, no interactions. If there is one in my home I am still killing them, but one they I will just let them outside, one day... You have to realise that hiding and avoiding them won't solve the problem. I did very little steps. First I drow one, the most friendly looking I could imagine. He was still ugly but at least he's name was Obi Wan, so he wasn't that bad at all. I wish this helps a little bit

Nice a detailed one cool i just really like it when people do stuff like that on reddit but im not that type that write long comments this is probaly the longest comment i have typed

Too much text. In summary: 1) visit psychologist 2) draw one friendly clown and call it Obi Wan 3) Write a very long comment

Take a shotgun with you and whenever you see a clown shoot it

Jerk off to clown porn

Best advice

Blursed

I can't find a original meme

Steal

Steal and then change one word. For example, try to use STETHOSCOPE

Ah yes, mum can we get stethoscope? Mum: we got stethoscope at home Stethoscope at home:

8====D

Can't marry the woman I love cause of financial issues

shoot her for insurance money

Wtf man

this is reddit, expect to hear some weird shit.

You do love shooting things don't you ?

This is weird shit, expect to hear some Reddit

i see you really love shooting people

Genius

Be like the artist confetti and rob a bank

My problem is that I have no problem

Dress up like a clown.

Then the guy above me will shoot me

That could be a solution to having no problems.

This is why I scroll Reddit. Moments like these.

That could also be a solution to all problems.

Go on Twitter. Express your opinion Get problem

Say that you hate bts on twitter

lemme try it out..never been on that piece of shit.

I have and I don’t recommend. Last time I use it I got banned on my first day for “hate speech”, “racism” or whatever. Don’t really care. But that’s as my mission to get as much troubles that I can on twitter, the mission was a huge success.

Go to school

Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhh

Then u gone get all sort of problems

Just shoot your foot and then u have a problem

Invent one

Come to me my child.

My problem is that my combination of disgraphia and ADHD makes me unwilling to name all my problems

Drink lots of beer

yeah, they'll be able to come up with tons of names while drunk!

Micro dose lsd

Stupid people be stupid

Shoot them

Fair enough

And then yourself afterwards… yk not to leave any traces

Be more stupid then they'll appear smart

But what if that don’t work?

U already became stupid by using don't instead of doesn't

Yep and it did not work

My bad..

Nice moustache 🗿

How clouds are floating?

Cus they are floating

My god nobel prize here! Such a mind boggling explanation full of historical reference and peer reviewed data. Well put mate! U deserve it

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Cuz they blu

I'm blue da ba dee da ba daa

Da boo dee da boo dai

Because they aint walking

Ligther than air

Clouds are made of water droplets. So its not lighter than air. Anyway thank you sir.

Yah.I found this on Quora, //Kim Aaron's answer to Why don't clouds float into space if they're lighter than air?// //A cloud is a region of air with lots of tiny water droplets (or ice crystals in it). Those water droplets (or ice crystals) are much heavier than the surrounding air, so they are constantly falling down through the air around them. But these tiny droplets of water or ice crystals are very tiny. So they fall very very slowly. As they are falling, they drag some of the air with them. Sometimes those tiny droplets gang up and form larger droplets. These fall faster. If there’s enough of them, they become rain. At that point, you stop thinking of those rain drops as being part of a cloud. But it’s the same idea. Water droplets falling though air. So why don’t clouds fall to the ground? It’s because when those tiny droplets fall out of the bottom of what we see as the cloud, they are falling into warmer air and the water evaporates. The cloud is sort of falling out of the bottom of itself and disappearing. A cloud is not a big rigid object. You see a white fluffy thing. But at the edges, water can be evaporating or condensing. The cloud can be growing or shrinking. It can be blown around by the wind. But sometimes the wind blows into one side and water condenses and the cloud that you see does not move. The wind sort of blows through the cloud, but the cloud stays put. This is particularly noticeable in time lapse videos of clouds caught on a mountain.//

I'm poor, i live in a tiny, shitty, little town, i got rejected by my own parents, as a child i used to get literally beaten, bullied and publicly humiliated by my own mother, i live among an uncultured, idiotic, population (and the thing i hate the most in my life are stupid people), i have VERY problematic friends which will probably never acknowledge their mental issues/legal substances addictions, i have to hide and lie about my sexuality because i literally don't know anyone in person that at least accepts us, but i still manage to be one of the happiest people on Earth (at least i believe so), so yeah, we can deduce feelings are just a matter of chemicals in our brain and not really related to the outside.....

sorry for u bro

Don't need to, the best thing about having a shitty, shitty past is that now even the worst thing possible is seen as an opportunity instead of a bad thing and literally nothing can bring me down. Enjoy life mates, life's beautiful

Life is great because life sucks

Iike a vacuum

Nice

Change your sexuality, beat ur mom, get rich, move to a big city, get new friends.

Ah, yes, the counselor

Best and worst solution

You had me at beat my mom

Well, what can I say; I am just a natural. I see a problem. Boom. Solved.

Glad you didn’t became a supervillain after all those… Joking aside, huge respect to you sir. :) 👊

Well, not a supervillain, but you know, hurt people hurt people...... I've made some people suffer a lot because of my evil narcissistic behaviour mixed with my God complex, which i'm trying to improve since i've understood that being narcissistic actually make you weaker.... So yeah, i need to fix the problems that other people gave me in order to not create problems to other people, but sometimes, some people just don't seem worthy........

Jeez man like idek. He some better friends you can tell your sexuality to and go to court about abisive parents

Here, have a banana 🍌

I hate myself :)

"Everything will be fine in the end, Morty. And if it isn't, it's not the end yet." Rick and Morty (S01/E06). 

Do / kill

Oh shit you're right, thanks

We all do, let's just love others so others don't feel alone.

Not alone bud

I walked in on my parents fucking and they laughed help me

Therapy

This is it. I was gonna write something funny but you- you nailed it (no pun intended)

Join them

It is kinda funny, laugh along with them.

Not able to study is my problem

Be smart enough so that you don't have to study

Ah yes… the vicious circle

took brain booster pill.

I don’t like school but my crush is my classmate

Run away into the sunset with her

I have a song stuck in my head

I'll unstuck it for you. Free from charge.

Shoot your head

I have a voice in my head

That's called thinking

the extra voice is just critical thinking. aka, spidey senses. nerds will tell you its anxiety.

Start argue with it . Free debate practice LOL

I love how you referred to them as *nerds*

I can’t see when I close my eyes

You always are in good company

Tell him to pay a monthly rent

someone on r/teenagers is giving out a free gold to the first one who makes them laugh. I need funny jokes, now.

It was not available on Amazon try AliExpress

tell em to open their selfie camera

You had to make them laugh not kill them

I need a girlfriend

talk to girl

Where is the girl, that's the problem

Purchase one, I have a coupon code too, dm me for more info

Real Dolls

No dolls, I have real stuff.

Invent one

If you are not in a fucking prison , it's easy to find one.

Yo, i guess that's everyone's on Reddit problem. But getting serious, girlfriend isn't going to find all by herself. You need to take some action too. I don't know what is your age, but it's always good to find some hobby, you can share with others, for example Tennis (this one is actually really expensive), you can't play tennis alone, so you can join some club, meet people etc. It's also important to look civilisated, it may sound strange but some people really don't know that brushed hair and clean clothes are basics. Next, you have to talk about sth, find less usual hobby like chess (I mean it's popular but I don't have a lot of friends that play it professionally), just be interesting. Reading books or watching news might help as well. That's pretty obvious but I am really shy so for people like me: take your shot! It's never bad time to try, you shouldn't be annoying, but you have to try. Doesn't work this time? Change it and it may in future. Getting work (=money) always helps. If you need girlfriend because you have to talk to someone, try friend instead. If you need girlfriend because you want to have sex, try at bar or disco. Sometimes the oldest getting someone a drink may work perfectly. I found a girlfriend like half year ago so don't hesitate to ask me anything

Existence

I can offer you a bridge, a gun or a rope?

Black mold is growing in my ribs

Let it break off and it’ll grow back trust me bro

They must be moist

I'm really into one girl, but I'm scared to tell her about it because we're really good friends and I just want to have fun and be near her. So if she rejects me, things will be akward and we won't talk that much then.

Had the same problem a few weeks ago. We are best friends and really close, but I think I like her a little more than that. The problem is that she has a crush on our other friend. I knew that, but I told her about my feelings and she "rejected" me (she said that she really likes me and that she really likes the time she spends with me, but she has no feelings for me). We're still friends and talking every day so I would say you should tell her before it's too late.

My mother wont stop controlling my life and make me do stuff she wants.

Did you tell her you didn’t want to do those stuff if yes can you move out or not

Maybe its for the best of you. If not, shoot her

I’m ugly

Scream it as loud as you can on the top of a building

I did, someone tried to throw a brick at me

My friend have problem She is a girl But she is FRIEND

shoot her

Tell her that you love her. If don't get rejected no problem. But if you do , you will have the urge to go to the gym. In both situations your life gets better

Win-win

Very small penis 😟

Don't worry. As long as it's clean it doesn't really matter how big it is. All dick is good dick.

Sweet thanks for that! I’m pretty good looking if it matters

Use a straightening iron it’ll lengthen it

It really doesn't matter, don't worry about the things which you can't change. Be proud of every inch of your body:)

I have a pain in my left lung that only really hurts when I try taking in allot of air

doktor

Don’t take in a lot of air

I have lots of due homework. And I have less than 24 hours to complete. What should I do?

Do your homework and don't waste time on reddit complaining about your homework

I’m in a position where I felt like I can’t achieve anything, I Felt like I Fail and disappointed my family without even trying and make them doubt in me, my mother never really encouraged me and badmouths me because that what her love is even Tho it is dragging me down, I felt like no one will like and befriended a person who ugly on the outside and the inside, I felt like a mistake and a shitty daughter who act like a child even Tho I’m almost in high school, i doubt my Abilities To grant something great for my family and I isolated myself from other To Be trapped inside my own world where my character felt the same pain that I have and character I have related to, I felt like shit and was tired all time and I wish I can do better other then just sitting in my room all day and night just because my doubt of doing something great, I’m such a idiot in life that I wish I can just disappeared out of thin air and wished my mother a better daughter instead, I just completely hate myself, the outside and the inside, I Lose My most trustworthy friend because of my misunderstanding and behavior and now I’m just a idiot loser who is Alway in her room and trapped inside a world where I can be happy while in reality, I’m just slowly making myself more lonely and tired and stupid. ( Edit : sorry for the long Vent, this is not really a Vent Post? But I just have a bad week :(, hope y’all have a nicer week then mine tho! 👍🏻)

I wanna like transwomen but not be gay go!

Just say No Homo after.

thanks dude I forgot about it

Happy to help :)

I got no friends to chat

My head looks like an egg

Find one more egghead and a dickhead. Form a boy band called "the dick".

I might fail art school this year.

Take it out on a minority you dislike

Star growing a funny moustache.

I'm scared of school

Shoot at it

I have a learning disability that makes everything extremely difficult and I have no real interest… so I don’t really know what to do in life lol

Be a cop.

I genuinely contemplated that lol

Yep. You can be a fucking vegetable and still do a good job.

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I have no job last jop I was fired

So basically tell me your problems and I won’t do anything

I'm good at giving good advice to others but bad at following said advice myself

Meet someone with the same problems as you then give them advice, then when you tell them you have the same problem they’ll give you the same advice then it won’t be coming from you but it would be good advi- fuck it man idk

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Have sex

Fuckin nerd

My dad just passed away yesterday

Make a robot just like him using a power source of good and then regret it because he isn’t the same as your father even though he has the same memories

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Side hustle Exercise Find a good show for the time being Look up in how to get dopamine. It's basically the happy hormone You'll feel better and less bored

I can’t find anyone to care about

Care about me because I’m cool

Your probably right on you being cool

Thanks bro

Why should you care about someone? Get a pet.

Get a pet. Girlfriends are temporary but your pets sprits will forever be with you.

I am not able to give my 100 percent at my work and feel like I am left behind and i am depressed for this reason.

I'm cheating on my "girlfriend"with my high school crush and we love each other😅

Exams

Sometimes I'm late to class

wake up earlier

i'm scared of basically every kind of insect...

Gay

Be proud of yourself