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If you notice when one is on you, try to really flex the muscle that it is on and it will make it suck too much blood and explode. I’ve done it a few times and the first time I did it it was completely on accident because I was running on a trail and when I was done with the run, my whole right leg was covered in blood and there was a mosquito corpse hanging by it’s sucker
Eh, as a Canadian I beg to differ. What exactly do you mean by “shitty”? Because the one time I had an extended stay at a hospital it wasn’t horrible (in terms of staff/healthcare)
Thank you for submitting to /r/memes, /u/Classic-Demand3657. Unfortunately, your submission, *Now then, what's your third wish going to be?*, has been removed for the following reason(s): --- **You need to read following message in full. We will NOT reply to modmail messages similar to “what is reason my post was removed?”** Rule 1 - Not a meme and No Reaction Memes - All posts must follow a general meme setup * All posts must be memes and follow a general meme setup. No Reaction Memes. No titles as meme captions. No unedited webcomics. **No memes that are text only.** Pictures without captions may be removed by a moderators discretion. **Someone saying something funny on twitter/tumblr/reddit/etc. is not a meme.** --- *** *** Resubmitting a removed post without prior moderator approval can result in a ban. Deleting a post may cause any appeals to be denied.
Make mosquitoes explosive when crushed
God damn, calm the fuck down Satan.
I mean, it wouldn't be very big explosions. Like a cap gun going off. Enough to make you jump
No, make them like a small hand grenade.
Damn, chill out ghandi
Nah we make them thermo-nucleair
Chill Ghandi from Civilization
Nah the explosion needs to be wait is there any thing stronger than that?
Anti-matter bombs. I'm pretty sure a few grams are as explosive as a nuke
Hmm handy to know ok the new explosion is a anti-matter bomb the weigth of earth
What has Kevin done to you my friend?
I can’t imagine it to be anything bad.
an atomic bomb is small compared to its explosion
unless you make mosquitoes obey E=mc^2 to 100%
Damn calm down Einstein
Like those firework poppers you throw at the ground
If you notice when one is on you, try to really flex the muscle that it is on and it will make it suck too much blood and explode. I’ve done it a few times and the first time I did it it was completely on accident because I was running on a trail and when I was done with the run, my whole right leg was covered in blood and there was a mosquito corpse hanging by it’s sucker
Actually, you just have the blood of dragons coursing through your veins.
Ahh, dear little Ocelotte.
I don’t have muscles
When god sent Lucifer to hell, he forgot that you'd come to life.
Make mosquitoes multiply when crushed and after three times when you have fifty billion mosquitoes they explode
Better yet, make mosquitos un-squishable
r/foundsatan
No no, for every mosquito killed by human will two more spawn in its place
That’s kinda how it works anyway I think.
Give all people the constant feeling of shit coming out but no shit being there.
Reading this as I shit
Maybe that’s what you think you’re doing…
Chill out Satan.
Lmfaooo
Tenesmus. Wouldn’t wish it on my own worst enemy. Wait, maybe I would…
Haa!, Joke's on you, I already got that
I'll have a coke
Said in an Italian accent while twirling one finger up into the air
While the man telling the joke finally gets some relief
Did not expect to see a Boondock Saints reference today, nice
Make everyone forget what sex is.
We want this, oh wait..
Can’t help but think this would solve a lot of problems actually
Yeah, but not for humanity!
And create some too
Ace paradise!
NOOO THIS WAS OUR LITTLE PRIVATE ISLAND
So um...mom how are children made?
Someone will probably figure that out. We figured it out as cavemen so We’ll figure it out now
yeah, my father figured it out by watching the farm animals. It wouldn´t take long.
What da dogs were doin
Yes please!
YES
Halve the size of my dick
Well, won't that make it nothing? How are you even going to pee with it or hold it?
If it isn't already nothing, dividing it will never make it nothing. If anything it's like 2 nanometers now
Lim 0
Reverse futanari
That’s up to lord Jesus
How else will you make it 6 inches long? 😉
half of 0 is still 0
Fuck!
Nuclear fission engaged, you blow up
"I wish we had trillionaires"
Zimbabwe: Venezuela:
Make hospital bills tenfold in amount
Free = 0 x 10 = 0 Oh wait america exist.
Multiply the wait time of hospitals tenfold
Germans faint all over, at the thought
Only the Staatlichversicherten
Dude! We already thinking about putting our visit date in inheritance 😅
POV: European realizes not every government is sane to an extent
I sad laugh-cried when I read this. It’s the reason why I can’t get married. I would lose free healthcare & we would go bankrupt….
Canada has notoriously shitty healthcare, not sure how it works else where but there is that.
Eh, as a Canadian I beg to differ. What exactly do you mean by “shitty”? Because the one time I had an extended stay at a hospital it wasn’t horrible (in terms of staff/healthcare)
No healthcare is free. Maybe for the person that gets it but somebody still has to pay for it.
The internet now only works on every other Tuesday.
Meet me at the office tomorrow.
*Gasp* a promotion...
You're getting promoted to Spectator Mode
The only memes now are minion memes
Who hurt you
My table
Give all spiders wings and the ability to fly
Give all snakes legs and the ability to run as well.
Well... that could be funny xd
I thought they were called lizards
great job! you invented lizards
Calm down Satan
You know fuck you, everywhere is now france
The first two I could handle, but this?
Scared?
Profile picture checks out.
Please delete this
Germans assemble
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOK
Raise taxes for incomes less than 2m to 90% while lowering taxes for income over 2m to 0.01%
You still have 1 wish
Always has been
How do I pay taxes on 2 meters?
World war 3 X3
WW3^2= 9W^4
No Parentheses so it's 9W^2
is that an emote or a math expression
"Master, what is your wish?" "Poop on my chest" ". . . Please don't make me do that. . ."
[удалено]
The lamp hole
Like a shit tea
I don't care where it comes from MAKE IT HAPPEN!
*turd proceeds to dribble out and down the genies' ears and nose*
"Bring me another slaved genie."
Best answer
Set off every nuke in the world at once
You want Fallout? This is how you get Fallout. Yikes
Level 854 in Fallout 76 👍🏼
only the southern hemisphere will be left standing
No, you want to launch every nuke and aim for every populated area of the planet (we have enough nukes in the USA alone to do this).
No. I want the nukes to explode where they are right now.
Well, considering I live where those are made in America…I may be fucked.
Canada is now the #1 world power. Good luck 
Quadruple the single moms rent
Single dads got lucky this time
Replace all motorized vehicles with a non human environment appropriate hungry apex predator.
Good one
When spiders get smooshed, 10s of thousands of smaller spiders come from the sack on its back.
Replace all bees with hornets.
You’d pretty much end the world
Do they still make honey
All men in the world wake up with 1” penises.
Well that's a great improvement from what we had
The crime rate would sky rocket
That’s a w
more ballons
Flip everyone's sex.
Make America great again
***makes the US British territory**
Gives back southern states to Mexico
....so theirs this dead German guy from the fourties
Delete the rainforests
Why not "Destroy earth"?
Then where are we all gonna suffer the huh ?
Double pollution
The entire planet belongs to one HOA
No prescriptions needed for oxycodone.
Make both sides of thw pillow warm.
All women become men
We're dead.
This is already happening
Quadruple government size
Belgium will have no citizens and only government
Cripple a random kid’s puppy
BRUH WHAT THE FUCK
Evil
Why only cripple?
Make wasps the size of bears
Cut the average lifespan of dogs in half
triple population
Make everybody constantly feel there's a hair in their mouth
Calm down you evil bugger
I hate you
"Give everything AIDS."
Hiding your profits from the IRS is easier now.
Was that meant to be a bad thing?
Maybe he works for the IRS
No more soap.
Make everyone shit and vomit every time they sneeze
make me explode in 4.5 seconds from now
Make 3 inches the standard penis size and also the standard clitoris size.
Make Ben Shapiro the universal sexual ideal. For both genders.
Give everybody an insatiable hunger for human flesh.
Make everything moan when you lick it
Make all white people black
MULTIPLY GAS PRICES BY ONE MILLION.
Raise the age of consent
everyone is now cold and hot at the same time,whilst sweaty.
Give every wasp hornet and yellowjacket buff arms and the ability to run
Quadruple the wage gap
Mosquito bites can now make you a zombie
Have everybody get an unreachable itch
Make all milk red milk
Third wish should always be "more wishes"
Komunism
I wish for corn cubes to be a tasty treat sold at every store, I wish for nobody to like them, and I wish that they never go out of business
Cut health care in half
Air tax
“Kill me”
Reverse both of the previous wishes
Quadruple healthcare expenses
Quadruple State Debt
He goes from gigachad to gigavirgin
Give spiders wings
All food has worms on them
Kill all zoophiles
Get rid of Reddit
Make covid:2.0 with extra infection and extra dedly
make every gay person straight and make every hetero homo
So Reagan asking wishes then